Bonus time with our traveling cutie.

We’re going to poke Brax and see what that confusing cutie has been up to. Well, he’d say Earthlings are the weird ones and he might be right.

If you read my novella in the Dirty Daddies Monster Anthology (The Professor and His Little Roo), the next Earthling Brax tells you about will be familiar. This short mentions characters from that story, but I don’t think it contains major spoilers for The Professor and His Little Roo. (But that isn’t a new book, so if you haven’t read it, it’s time to get caught up.)

You don’t need to have read that story to enjoy this short, but if you have, the cameo will probably make you smile.

Some characters are just a handful.

Hitchhiking and Stubborn Earthlings

Humans came in many more types than I was led to believe, but since I had no one but the people of Earth to complain to, I kept my thought to myself.

Still, my education on Earth people had been highly inaccurate.

Was it polite or rude to ask what version of Earthling someone was?

Even with all my traveling since I had arrived, it was not clear as the people of Earth seemed to think it should be. Some hid very carefully and became upset when anyone guessed they were other than human. Some pretended to hide while doing it badly, like the dragons who had taken Earth as their home. Some ignored the strangeness of others, like the humans and individuals who lived near the portal.

“I enjoy walking but thank you for stopping to make sure I am safe.” I wasn’t sure why walking to new locations made humans so uncomfortable, but their rambling explanations had not helped clarify it.

However, the females of Earth were especially strong caretakers, which was the only logic I could find in the number of ways they told me I was living wrong.

“I don’t think you understand, sweetheart. We’ve got gators and big cats and…well…we’ve got a lot of things that would make a snack out of you.” She seemed to give off every indication of being earnest in her worries…but I wasn’t sure what she was.

I’d learned very early in my time on Earth not to get into the vehicles of people with conflicting auras.

Her aura didn’t seem to indicate she’d killed a large number of people and was pleased about it, but that human hadn’t looked dangerous to begin with either.

“I’ve already run into your alligators and I was fine.” It didn’t take a strong spell to repel the large creatures and they were tasty. Still, I knew not to explain that to a female of any type of Earthling. For some reason, they thought the animals highly dangerous and one that should not be consumed. “Thank you, though.”

The human expression of being stubborn settled over her face and I knew it was going to be a difficult conversation.

“I just can’t leave you this many miles from town. You’re not even heading toward the interstate. There isn’t much this way.” Her glance in the direction I was walking made me wonder if she knew the town in question had been labeled as odd.

I was hoping odd meant more than just strange humans who farmed and liked to be naked.

“I promise I am fine.” I had no desire to deal with another person of Earth who liked to kill randomly. “Thank you, though.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Hop in and I’ll take you back to the Cracker Barrel over by the interstate. You’ll be able to find someone there to take you to a bigger city.”

That sounded miserable.

Ha, I was sounding like a human already…or whatever she was.

Her frown suggested she was not going to be deterred by polite refusals. “I don’t know what species of Earthling you are and I’ve had some unfortunate altercations with a variety of dangerous individuals over the past few months. I will not get into a car when I don’t know what you are.”

She looked human but something was off, and I was confident she was not human.

She was of Earth because she gave me the same confused frown they all did, but I was still not going to get into the vehicle.

They went fast and were dangerous when they stopped suddenly.

“Oh.” Her head tilted and her smile returned. “I didn’t realize you weren’t human. Do you see auras? My new son-in-law sees those. He’s a sweetie but he’s easily distracted. How do you manage? I’ve been trying to do some research on it but the internet hasn’t been helpful at all.”

The people of Earth could talk to anyone.

“There are several spells that can be applied to objects that will help dampen the effect of auras. He will just need to focus more if he wishes to use his skills while wearing the…suppressor.” That was not the right English word but I’d never had to use the correct one before and I wasn’t sure which one to pick.

English had several words for every object, emotion, and descriptive expression.

“That’s wonderful.” She patted the seat on the passenger side and looked less intent while still trying to get me in the car. “My name is Ramina. Where are you staying? I’m going to need to talk to you about that aura suppressant. I can see why you were heading in this direction, though. You’re going to fit right in.”

The women of Earth were very good at getting their way.

I had even taken another step closer to the vehicle before I realized what I’d done. “I’m sorry. What species of Earthling are you? You don’t match.”

I really needed to learn more English words related to magic.

I’d spent entirely too much time around regular humans and people of Earth who were pretending to be human and I had not practiced enough magical vocabulary.

“Oh.” She looked down at herself and laughed. “I forgot I look human.”

She had?

How?

Was she one of the species that grouped themselves under the word shifters?

Still smiling, she looked back up at me. “We don’t blend in well, so we’ve adapted to appear human when it’s necessary. I had some errands to run and I wanted McDonald’s. Don’t tell my husband about my treat.”

“I won’t.” That didn’t mean I was getting in her vehicle, though. Did she realize she hadn’t given me any useful information? “I hope you had fun running errands. Drive safely.”

That usually encouraged humans to continue moving in their vehicles, but she smiled and somehow radiated stubbornness. Fascial expressions were odd but I thought I was reading her correctly. “We have alligators.”

Why was everyone so afraid of those?

“I am capable of repelling any size predator. Any size.” Including the dangerous human variety. “But thank you.”

Were our females as stubborn as the ones on Earth and I just had not realized it?

Did their surprising array of emotions make them only seem more stubborn?

“I’m what’s colloquially called a Bigfoot. No one uses the real name for our species. But I don’t think any of us have ever turned into crazies or serial killers, though.” She frowned, obviously searching her memory. “We’ve got some odd groups that have done the whole back to nature thing, but they’re strange and stubborn, not dangerous.”

Ah.

“I’ve heard of your people but have not run into any in my travels.” No matter what the plain humans of Earth thought, they were not the only types of people living on their planet. “I found a book on your people in a library.”

Children’s books were highly educational and had the most interesting topics, unlike the adult stories who just wanted to talk about monsters and mating rituals.

“What did it say about us?” As I finally opened the door and climbed into her vehicle, she seemed to enjoy the new topic. “Most of the time they’re ridiculous and have us being basically no smarter than bears.”

“This one was about a small female Bigfoot who wanted to go to school in the human world.” My response had her eyes going wide.

“Oh dear.” I was fairly certain her expression was indicating worry. “That’s not good. That sounds a bit too realistic.”

Yes, based on what she’d said about looking human, she was correct.

“Some people just can’t make good decisions.” Reaching over, she patted my shoulder. “You seem like a very nice boy, though. Let me tell you about my son-in-law. He looks human and could use some new friends.”

Females of Earth were very interesting…and liked to share all the information they knew.

“What are your thoughts on playdates?”

The people of Earth were very confusing…and did not all seem to be using English the same way.

Playdates?

***

Missed a Southern Charm Bonus? Click here to find all the pervious Southern Charm Shorts.

Want to read all 6 shorts at once? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.

It seems like a good time to give you guys a WIP post to show you what’s coming down the writing pipeline, what you should be rereading to be ready for everything, and what other ridiculous things I’ve been poking at.

Let’s start with the logical plans that are laid out nice and neat.

Dragons.

Legends and Longing is the next book in the Blue Ridge Charm series and it’s up on preorder already with an Amazon release date of October 16th and the 11th for my site. What does that mean? I’m drowning in dragon ridiculousness and it’s time for you to start looking at what you want to reread to be ready for Shiloh’s story.

What you reread for this is definitely up to you. However…I have the attention span of a squirrel, so I would reread the Blue Ridge Charm books to refresh myself (which is what I did lol) but the Blue Ridge Magic books are always fun. Oh, if you need more of those guys, check out Patreon because they pop up in bonus stuff on a regular basis.

Kenzie is a chatterbox and Lorne is the definition of mischievous which has them showing up in my head at crazy times.

What else have I been doing? Working on random ideas and finishing up what’s been labeled my Nosy Neighbors book as the working title. You will be pleased to know that it finally has a real title: The Best Bad Decision.

Have I mentioned how much I love neighborhood ridiculousness?

The preorder will be up by the end of the week with a working release date of September 20th for my site and the 25th for Amazon. Figuring out little details like the title and blurb took longer than want to admit, but I’ve made really good progress.

What else is going on? I’m still poking at Christmas books and picking out cover photos for those as well as random one line starts that are overtaking my computer. So we’ll see what else shows up this year but next year is already packed.

The biggest problem is that I saw a silly graphic on FB where it showed ridiculous inverted tropes like “too many beds” and “accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss” and now the squirrels are off and running.

Wish me luck wrangling my squirrels and I hope you have fun with all the upcoming ridiculousness.

It’s taboo time.

Behind Closed Doors is finally live and I can’t wait to show you what Hawk and Dana are getting up to.

Some characters just make questionable decisions and have to do things their own way.

That’s Hawk.

Some characters are pulled in unexpected directions and try to do their best.

That’s Dana.

Behind Closed Doors is a taboo father/son novella with mentions of past abuse and some emotional conversations but the abuse is not detailed on page. I don’t like writing angst (you all know how much I avoid that…sorry Aubrey and Lincoln) but some characters’ pasts are more of a struggle than others.

But it also has sexy scenes, mild BDSM, a dash of exhibitionism, so I hope you have fun getting to know Hawk and Dana as they take you on their journey.

You can get Behind Closed Doors here on my site or on Smashwords. Please feel free to buy it where ever it’s easiest for you…and if you didn’t see the previous posts where I did some teasing, go check out the first chapter.

This is part of what I’ve been calling my Southern Charm Shorts. It’s not just about my Myths, Legends, and Southern Charm series, though.

Confused now?

If you hate spoilers in anyway, it’s time to back out now and visit these unedited shorts again once you’re up to date with my paranormal stuff.

Click here to see all my connected paranormal books.

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Still here?

Alright, tiny spoilers ahead.

I think these shorts are best enjoyed after you’re up to date with the dragons. You don’t need to have read anything else but understanding at least a little bit about my dragons will make these shorts more fun and they’ll make more sense.

So let’s say reading the Blue Ridge Magic series is a great idea…reading the Blue Ridge Charm series is a good idea.

But do you need to read anything else first?

I don’t think so but that’s going to be an individual preference. I don’t avoid spoilers. I read series out of order. I skip books in a series. I read every spoiler review. I’m the most annoying reader ever and to say I hate being surprised would be an understatement. (Who has trust issues? Me. Noooo.)

Other readers will be different and that’s okay.

These shorts will have a variety of scenes with characters from other books. The first short shows someone that Henely talked about in Blade. It’s an interaction that happens before Blade, so I don’t think this has an issue with spoilers.

Other shorts take place after different paranormal books and you’ll see past characters show up. I’ll do my best to give you a warning about spoilers in each short as the blog posts pop up, but these are just fun stories that show how one cutie has meet a lot of different people and ended up in a variety of interesting situations.

These shorts are going to be from one confused cutie’s point of view and we’ll get to see how odd humans and Americans specifically can look to outsiders. (Think those fun videos about Europeans visiting America for the first time for the World Cup but with fictional characters and magic.)

Have fun with a new friend and I hope you enjoy seeing some familiar faces as more of the stories get posted.

Sothern Charm Shorts, Story 1

In Blade, Henley talks about a weird magic guy he met as he traveled, so I thought I’d give you a chance to meet Weird Magic Guy. (I think this is spoiler free for Blade.)

His name is actually Brax and he’s been casually mentioned in other books, just not usually by name. Brax has an interesting story you’ll get to see over a variety of little shorts. We’ll get to see who he meets as he travels around the South and figures out where he belongs.

Have fun getting to know Brax.

Mismatched Auras and Helpful Humans

Earthlings were sometimes more dangerous than they appeared. Even without claws or natural defenses outside of manipulative tendencies, they found unique ways to make themselves unsafe to be around.

It was actually impressive in a confusing way.

I wasn’t sure what type of hazardous behavior the human in front of me enjoyed but he did not match his aura and I had only seen it one other time.

No one with an aura that…troubling…should smile so politely.

“I do not require attention.” Thanking him for interrupting me from my decision making seemed unreasonably polite, but humans had strange rituals. “Thank you.”

His smile widened.

I did not understand all of their emotional displays but that one was clear. He was enjoying whatever he was thinking because no one ever found me that pleasurable to be around. Humans always frowned and asked if I was feeling okay, and other species on Earth had even stranger questions about mating issues and where I had grown up.

Mars was somehow always an option but that seemed to be an uninhabited planet in their solar system.

“I saw you come into the park earlier. The locals aren’t that approachable, so I’ll be your welcoming committee, friend.” The happy-presenting man sat down across from me at the stone-type table in the park I had found. “You homeless?”

He frowned and looked down at my bag before I could answer. “Hitchhiking?”

I needed to learn better ways to project how dangerous I could be.

For some reason, most humans did not fear my kind and could not sense us as a type of predator to be wary of. It was strange and should be studied by someone with more patience than I possessed. Before coming to Earth, I would have described myself as highly patient.

I would have been wrong.

I just had not been thoroughly tested before coming to Earth.

“No. I do not participate in that activity.” Well, I had done it twice and currently was at what humans called a fifty-fifty chance of ending up in a fucked-up situation. “I am also not looking for friends or a welcoming committee.”

I had come into town to find a hot meal that was cooked by humans because I generally enjoyed their food but that was turning out to be a difficult goal. This was the first primarily human settlement that did not have restaurants open in the evening. They had one establishment labeled as a bar that only provided nuts and pretzels. Everything else closed at an unreasonably early hour.

“You’re walking, then? No place to stay tonight?” His question and the way he looked around made me wonder if there was a negative reason others were sleeping in the outdoors. “Well, friend, let me at least give you a ride to a safer part of town.”

The strange human smoothed his features and widened his eyes. “It won’t take long and I’d feel a lot better about it. I can’t leave you here alone.”

Why could he not leave me here?

Why did where I slept matter so much to humans?

Their top questions when meeting new people were always about what I needed to eat and where I was sleeping. That was quickly followed by questions about my choice of career, and sometimes what kind of vehicle I possessed, but that inquiry seemed to be location dependent.

“Can you explain the instinct to let your thoughts interfere with my decisions?” Humans did that on a regular basis and in a variety of ways. “I understand your desire to damage me, but since I will not allow that, would you please explain why Americans do this so often?”

It could be all people of Earth had the same drive, but most of the ones I had met so far were American. Data was showing that it was at least a feature of humans on this part of Earth, but I had no way of knowing how widespread it was.

The dangerous man blinked at me oddly before his smile shifted to look like a dragon on the hunt that had gone slightly feral. “I’m just helpful, friend.”

It was possible I didn’t understand the meaning of that word in the English language.

“I will try again since this might be a communication error. English is not my first language.” It had accidentally been my fourth, but I had persisted in finding the correct local dialect. “Your aura does not match the signals you are sending. For the people of…for the locals, that usually indicates predatory behavior dangerous to others.”

Humans came in a variety of types and some seemed more mentally healthy than others. They took this as obvious but it was something they needed to warn visitors about. I was building a list of topics that should be addressed, such as their habit of adding surprisingly hot vegetation to a variety of foods.

The odd human leaned forward on his bench and his expression shifted to one no one had shown me yet. “Oh, friend. I’m going to have fun getting to know you. I like meeting new people.”

That was not as descriptive as he seemed to think it was.

“Was that supposed to make me feel like prey or were you just providing information?” Humans were very confusing, but it might be related to how difficult learning English had turned out to be. “This may be another communication difficulty. If you could explain that more clearly, I would appreciate it.”

I couldn’t appropriately defend myself if I didn’t understand what danger he presented.

As the man cocked his head, another human who’d been talking to himself and walking in a large circle around the park sighed loudly and headed in our direction. He waved his hand between us and gave the impression of being frustrated. I had seen that expression enough to be able to quickly label it. “This isn’t normal behavior for humans or Americans in general. Hell, the local homeless guys won’t explain why but they say he’s wrong.”

Interesting.

Did that mean this man wasn’t human?

Was he not American?

Were the unhoused humans more knowledgeable about dangers?

Before I could decide how to inquire about that information, he continued. “I’m not sure what you are but don’t go anywhere with him.”

The dangerous human was glancing between us but wasn’t giving any indication about what he was thinking.

“He is persistent, but I will not go anywhere alone with a stranger.” At the very least it ended up with me being asked questions I knew I should not answer.

Humans reacted strangely to the word alien….and dragon was not much better.

“Good but be careful walking around too.” He shrugged, giving the human gesture to look confused. “They’ve had a lot of weird rumors about people going missing lately. I haven’t found anything living around here, though.”

What kind of things had he been looking for?

Living?

Did he mean the location or was he searching for the dead?

The dangerous man gave several expressions in quick succession before standing up. “Just trying to be helpful, friend.”

The word helpful did not always mean what individuals thought it did.

“I’m Henley.” The new human looked slightly confused as the other man quickly exited the park, but he held out his hand in the customary local greeting. “I’m not dangerous unless you do something first, and I don’t mind that you’re not human, but you need to practice blending in more.”

How had I not blended?

“That is not as easy as it should be.” I shrugged to mimic showing confusion. “Humans are very strange and their behavior changes regionally and by species.”

And depending on their mental state.

Henley sighed. “Okay, I’ll give you that.”

He would give me permission to be right?

“This isn’t a safe part of town, even if you’re more dangerous than you look.” The man named Henley raised one eyebrow in the gesture that meant he wanted more information without having to ask.

“I am.” Nothing about him said I should avoid the human, so I answered freely. “Thank you for being polite.”

“That’s…” Shaking his head, Henley frowned. “I don’t think I’m going to ask.”

He wasn’t going to ask what?

“People are disappearing in the area, though, and the victims might not all be human.” Henley’s tone was serious. “Do you need directions somewhere safer? I was just driving through and was doing a little bit of research, but I can help you if you need it.”

Was there something else hunting humans in the area?

“I do not mind walking and I am capable of defending myself in a variety of ways.” Being able to use both magic and my dragon form, I was more than capable of defending myself from anything on Earth. “I decided to come into town for dinner but that did not turn out as I had expected.”

I should have been able to easily find either a burger restaurant or Olive Garden, but neither option was around, and when I had asked for directions, I’d been met with unhelpful explanations of local deities.

“Oh.” Henley frowned. “Um, my truck is over there. The one with the trailer. If you let me, I’ll take you over to a safer side of town that has restaurants and hotels.”

He glanced between himself and the truck before shrugging. “You can’t be more dangerous than those shifter kids. It took a week to get that smell out of my truck and I had to replace the seats. Be careful of skunks. They startle really easily.”

He was strange, even for a human.

But as odd as he was, his aura shone brightly.

“I will accept your offer but I will remind you that I am dangerous.” I wasn’t sure what a skunk was, though, so I didn’t know how I compared to that creature.

“Me too.” He stood straighter and smiled. “It’ll be nice not to have to hide that.”

Was there a logical human response to that?

Every time I thought I understood humans, they found new ways to surprise me.

***

Want to read all 6 shorts at once? Click the button below to Join my Patreon (any paid tier) to download the ePub version.

Ready for a peek at my newest taboo cuties?

I promised you a longer look at Behind Closed Doors and it’s time for some teasing and a big payout.

Teasing first…payout second.

A ridiculous number of my books start out with one character overhearing a conversation. Because I’m nosy. I’ll admit that. But one thing I generally don’t let characters do is start out with spicy fun right off the bat.

I like the buildup.

I like flirting.

I like to see the heat build as characters open up to each other.

These two pushed back against all aspects of good romance novel etiquette.

No buildup.

No long conversations.

No reasonable behavior.

They jump right into questionable decisions where I just kept shaking my head and going this is a terrible idea…but they did it anyway.

Ready to see how this book starts?

Want to check out the full first chapter? In the full book, I’m going to have a longer “ingredients list” note to make sure no one is surprised by the content. For this section, however, you just need to know these two make sexy decisions in heated moments. It’s a spicy start but I don’t think there is anything to warn you about other than the father/son dynamics. Click here to read it.

remember it goes live on September 4th.

It’s monster time…well, murder kitty time at the very least.

Blade is finally live and I’m so excited to share the story of Henley and his murder kitty. Henely is an adorable nut with amazing levels of self-delusion and Blade is his new friend and what Henely calls a murder kitty.

There just isn’t another way to describe his confusing new buddy.

It’s the start of a very strange friendship but nothing in Henley’s life goes normally, so we shouldn’t be surprised at this new adventure. He’s met crazy people and he’s got a lot of wonderful stories, but he’s also a sweetie who’s more openminded than he should be based on how he was raised.

Ready to meet Henley and his murder kitty?

Check out the first chapter of Blade if you missed that before and have fun with my dangerous new cuties.

Monster time…Blade is live on Friday (tomorrow!) but I thought I’d share one last peek at it with you.

The first chapter is from Henley’s point of view and you get a fun peek at his adorably nutty personality. One review described him as a “beautifully neurotic mess” and I think that’s really accurate. Not that he sees himself that way.

Nope…he just charges forward and justifies all kinds of crazy with strange logic and a cheerful personality that always sees the bright side even when reality would be a bit more helpful.

Ready to meet Henley?

“Why does monster hunting always go so wrong?” Somehow I’d ended up stuck in the trap I’d set up instead of the monster I was supposed to be hunting and that was actually the least of my problems.

“Live and learn.” Yes. “I’ll remember for next time.”

Click here to keep reading chapter 1.

You don’t want to know how long I’ve had the cover for this book. I saw it as a premade from one of the cover designers that’s always great to work with and I had to have it.

Then I told myself I’d come back to it later and figure out where to use it.

Oh…terrible idea for a squirrel-brained author because it took a long time for later to show up.

But a few weeks ago I was avoiding my actual work and started poking through some of the folders where I’ve hidden away premade covers that I’ve picked out over the years.

And this one popped out again.

Ta-da.

I figured out how it should be used right off the bat and the stubborn cuties in this book didn’t even take a thousand years to explain what they were doing.

Naughty things.

Questionable things.

But with a title like Behind Closed Doors those answers were obvious. (That’s the placeholder title the cover designer came up with and I loved it.)

So what did we end up with?

Something that should be a Reddit post.

Behind Closed Doors is an incest romance between a bio-dad and his son, but they’ve been apart for years. It changes how they see each other and changes how they end up dealing with all the wonderfully bad decisions they make.

(Oh, but they’ve got such hot scenes.)

So we’ve got the fact that this is taboo out of the way but one thing to consider is that this book contains mentions of past abuse by one of the main characters. Nothing is detailed on page and there is no abuse between the main characters. What else is important? Adoption is also an issue in this story.

If you need me to give you more details on this book before you read it I’ll be happy to do that. It’s just hard to decide how much to spoil or warn you about upfront because everyone has different needs.

Behind Closed Doors is a spicy novella (30k words) with characters who make questionable decisions, and these two will be live on my site and on Smashwords on September 4th. This is the best time to grab this because it’s on sale for $2.99 while it’s on preorder and will increase after it releases.

Keep an eye out here and in the newsletter for more teasers and to see the first chapter.

Santa’s Special Helper is live (KU) and it’s time to go back to the B&C Club for some Christmas fun.

I love Conner and all his shenanigans, but it’s really fun when he’s being pushy to help other people. In Santa’s Special Helper he’s giving Stirling a nudge to help him explore his sassy side as Santa’s naughty elf.

The banter between Stirling and his sexy Santa is some of my favorite teasing and they just make me smile for a lot of different reasons…and I can’t wait for you to see why it’s so cute.

Ready for a little peek at how adorable these two are?

“I’ve given out a lot of presents so far tonight, but I think I should hand out at least one more punishment.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but you are kind of old.” The sexy elf shrugged, trying to play it off as he ignored my twitching hand. “You said it, though. I didn’t.”

Some characters are just special and Stirling and his Santa are both adorable.

Ready for some Christmas in July? Have fun playing with Santa.

Our adorably troublemaking dragons are always fun to poke and this is what happened when I asked them about Christmas.

You’ll have to decide if Kenzie’s theory is logical or not.

Santa Troubles
Alick

“He’s a stalker.” Kenzie said it so firmly I forgot to immediately question it. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. Grady just has to be too close to the situation to see the problem, so he’s not at fault here. Talon is…well…he’s trying to decide how to handle it.”

Huh?

“What?” Stefan didn’t even know where to start but he got more out than me.

Lorne blinked a few times before cocking his head. “That’s…”

Crazy?

Weird?

Brilliant?

“I know.” Kenzie shrugged and seemed to think he knew what everyone else was thinking but there was no way we were all on the same page. “My parents obviously didn’t know how to explain that to a child but I think they should’ve at least tried.”

Tried to what?

How was a parent supposed to explain that?

“Um, what did Talon say?” Stefan’s brain was slowly processing the situation and I was proud of how well he’d responded.

I was still bouncing between confused and trying to take it seriously, so silence was my best bet.

Kenzie sighed like it was exhausting to think about. “That he needed to do some research and investigate. The police can’t make accusations just because things look questionable. He actually used that word and wouldn’t admit there were obvious problems.”

Oh, that was a good response too.

“He sees you when you’re sleeping? He knows when you’re awake? He knows if you’ve been bad or good?” Kenzie shrugged as the buzz of the conversations around us in the diner got louder. They didn’t know what to do with Santa possibly being a stalker either. “Then there’s the stern warning about be good for goodness’ sake…it’s a warning.”

“How?” That was all I got out.

Kenzie didn’t seem to mind that we all looked stunned stupid or that half the diner was now debating the definition of stalker. He simply shrugged off my question. “I don’t know how we missed it either.”

Sure, that was what I’d been going to say.

“That song is just one guy trying to explain the problem someone is having with a stalker and we didn’t realize it.” Kenzie was still so confident it was hard to remember how ridiculous the conversation was. “We just sing stuff without listening to the words. Like that dirty song about cowboys. How was I supposed to know it was inappropriate?”

I needed to go find the actual lyrics for that song.

Both of them.

Because he should’ve known about those cowboys, right?

“I…” Stefan blinked and shifted into research mode. “I think I need to look into different Santa myths. I never thought to do that before.”

“None of us have.” Kenzie threw his arms up, barely missing Miss Nancy walking by and Lorne who was sitting beside him in the booth. “We just take what we’re told for granted since he’s magical.”

Sure…we’d use that explanation.

If Santa turned out to be real in some way I was going to owe Kenzie an apology for doubting him.

“Dragons and mages are always good because we’re special, but if he’s from another planet that might explain a few things.” Lorne frowned like he was thinking hard, but I wasn’t sure if it was real or fake. “What kind of planet has magical stalkers who like to judge people and leave presents?”

I wasn’t sure if that was a good question or not.

And judging by the debates starting around us, no one else was sure either.

“I have some new holiday books at the library.” Stefan was either tempting him with a distraction or trying to change the subject. “We could see what authors are saying about Santa.”

Authors were talking about people being fucked by Santa and the grins around the table said everyone knew it. We all remembered our manners, though, and didn’t say that out loud as we climbed out of the booth and did our best to look boring.

We clearly weren’t boring enough.

“Look at them. What are those books doing to Santa?”

Good grief.

Kenzie started to open his mouth but Lorne quickly put his hand over it and pointed to the kitchen where Miss Nancy was peeking out. “Don’t get us in trouble. She’s got three different kinds of soup on the menu.”

That reminder had Kenzie deflating and not being quite so enthusiastic to answer the inappropriate question. A nod from the ridiculous dragon had Lorne removing his hand but we all held our breath as Kenzie frowned toward the back where the question had come from “Santa brings presents in books. Everyone knows that.”

Except for a handful where he does his day job and then has fun at night.

Stefan’s pink cheeks made me wonder what he’d been reading as he picked out new books for the library. He looked so guilty he made Lorne giggle, but the naughty dragon didn’t want Miss Nancy mad at him either. “Let’s go.”

Before Miss Nancy started calling our mates.

She liked to tattle.

Oops.

Talon stepped into the doorway before we made it to the parking lot. “I’ve got questions for you.”

Who’d called?

Kenzie gave Talon a beaming smile as he threw himself at his mate. “I love your questions.”

That was cheating but it worked because Talon smiled and shook his head. “You’re not telling everyone I’m going to arrest Santa, are you? We don’t have time for a trip to the North Pole right now.”

What had the tattle tale said we were doing?

Had Kenzie told his theory to other people before he’d gotten to the diner?

Kenzie blinked and looked honestly confused enough that he didn’t seem to know what was going on either. “That’s a summer trip. I’m a sunshine dragon not a snow dragon.”

He was more likely to try to go to the beach than the North Pole.

Oh.

Okay, if the Santa thing got out of control we were heading to the beach.

“Besides, we need to let people get their presents this year before we handle Santa.” Kenzie shrugged as the voices in the diner got louder again. “We’re helpful, not mean.”

So maybe I needed to start looking at hotels for the summer?