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What’s your cup of tea?

Is it perhaps coffee?

Doesn’t matter, really… because if you’re an observant Jew, the only way you can enjoy a hot drink on a cold Saturday morning is if you have a Shabbat hot water urn keeping your water warm throughout the day.

But hey, you already knew that, didn’t you? (otherwise you wouldn’t be here looking for the best Shabbat hot water dispenser )

So, without further a do – let’s get down to business and find you an urn, shall we?

Top Shabbat Hot Water Urns

Here’s a little sneak peek of our favorite Shabbat hot water urns.

Drumrolls…

Shabbat Urn	Rating
Top Shabbos Urn Chefman Hot Water Dispenser Instant Electric Pot	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
Classic Kitchen 5.0 Qt Nickel Pearl Kettle	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
Our Favorite Urn ProChef M PC7060 Hot Water Urn	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
40 Cup Stainless Steel Hot Water Urn for Shabbat & Yom Tov	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
Top Budget Urn Classic Kitchen CK321NP 3.5QT (3.2L)	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
Euro Tech Et7100 5 Quart Hot Water Urn	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
4 Quart Stainless Steel Manual Shabbat Kettle	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon
Top Coffee Urn Hamilton Beach 42-Cup Coffee Urn	Our Rating:	Get from Amazon

Chefman Hot Water Dispenser Instant Electric Pot

Why Should You Get it?

Well, what do you know… Chefman has won the “Best Value” hot water dispenser award.

And if you read our review of the best Shabbat hot plate, you probably noticed Chefman also has an “all-star” hot plate for Shabbos… so no surprises here.

Chefman has an excellent reputation for delivering high quality & affordable kitchenware essentials for Shabbos…and their Shabbat water boiler & warmer is no different.

In other words – they’re Jewish friendly! (which in turn makes me friendly towards them (

Their hot water dispenser (with the “Shabbos mode”) is made of stainless steel parts. You know what that means… that’s right – you can kiss that yucky plastic-tasting water goodbye!

Not to mention Chefman’s tremendous effort to make their water boiler-efficient with their 700-watt vacuum-insulated container and one-touch electronic dispenser (this is particularly useful if you’re planning to use it during the week as well), which provides maximum energy efficiency… and of course – reduces costs!

Why Not?

The only issue with this Shabbat hot water kettle is that it takes a bit longer to boil compared to others. And when it does boil, then the exterior can get pretty hot.

But these downsides are trivial compared to the value and price you’re paying for it.

Who is it For?

A terrific solution for us Jews observing the Sabbath, especially if you’re looking for a durable, reliable and affordable hot water urn from a reputable brand (without spending a fortune on a questionable Shabbos hot water pumps).

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Classic Kitchen 5.0 Qt Nickel Pearl Kettle

Why Should You Get it?

This Kosher hot water urn is ready for immediate use, can be refilled on Yom Tov, and doesn’t require a Tevillah.

It takes about 20 minutes to fully boil the water, which isn’t bad. I mean, you won’t have to set a friggin’ reminder HOURS before Shabbat comes in to plug the damn urn.

Classic Kitchen is big on safety, too. For the European folks reading this (Amen V’Amen is getting popular in the UK, lads!) – it’s CE certified! 

Why Not?

The biggest problem by far is that the manual pump is hard to press. You’ll probably need a few presses to fill your cup of coffee, which becomes quite exhausting after a while.

Also, it has a strong metallic taste for the first few times you drink the water. Not to worry, though… it goes away eventually. 

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ProChef M PC7060 Hot Water Urn

Our Favorite Urn

Why Should You Get it?

Pro Chef’s 5-quart hot water urn looks fantastic and definitely does its job in a reliable way.

Like the others, it also has a solid stainless steel design (including the interior), so you won’t taste the infamous “plastic water” taste.

A big benefit of Pro Chef’s Shabbat hot water heater is its easy-to-press manual pump. You might be thinking: isn’t that a given?

You’d think so, right?

Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of Shabbat urns… and let me tell ya – some of them suck so bad that you’ll find it easier to get a secret out of a Mossad agent compared to dispensing water out of these sucky urns.

Luckily, that’s not the case with Pro Chef. It dispenses like a champion, it’s reliable and has a Hechsher.

So, press away, my friend!

Why Not?

The water indicator (the manometer) is difficult to spot, which is a pain when you want to find out how much water you have left.

Who is it For?

For those who like a hot cup of coffee or tea, without having to go through a strength workout to get it.

It’s perfect if you’re looking for a medium-sized hot water urn for your small household – whether yours or someone else’s Jewish kitchen.

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40 Cup Stainless Steel Hot Water Urn for Shabbat & Yom Tov

Why Should You Get it?

Let’s start with the obvious reason first: it has enough capacity to serve 3 Orthodox families full of coffee and tea addicts, and you’ll still have hot water left (I’ve seen it happen before).

Other than that, this Shabbat hot water dispenser is made from high-quality, stainless steel parts (no plastic parts) – so it doesn’t peel off, and it sure as hell doesn’t get that smelly plastic odor many cheaper hot water urns are cursed with.

Add the unique Shabbat & Yom Tov settings this urn comes with, and you get an excellent hot water dispenser (or “KumKum” in Hebrew) for Shabbos that doesn’t even require a Tevillah.

Tip: Classic Kitchen also offers a 1-year warranty and a great customer service, which is a huge advantage.

Why Not?

Although I listed “expensive” as a con, at the end of the day – you pay for quality (and quantity), so I believe the price is justified.

One important point to keep in mind – even though it has a child lock top cover, there is no equivalent child lock for the spigot, so it’s best to keep it away from children (preferably in a high place).

Who is it For?

For large Jewish families, especially if you’re inviting many people over for Shabbat or holiday. This hot water dispenser has a huge capacity, enough for about 40 cups – so you should be fine.

That’s what makes it a great gift for a Jewish family’s housewarming party… particularly if it’s a large family.

If you’re a household full of heavy coffee or tea drinkers (I’m looking at you, Brittish folks), then this is hot water urn doesn’t disappoint.

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Classic Kitchen CK321NP 3.5QT (3.2L)

Why Should You Get it?

If you’ve got a small household with a few coffee-hungry (or tea-hungry… I’m not judging) folks – then this small Shabbos hot water dispenser is more than enough to fit your needs.

It has an auto reboil function made especially for refilling water on Yom Tov. And it doesn’t require Tevillah – so you can just “plug and play” (and by play, I mean make a Cup O Joe of course!).

This Shabbos hot water urn is made by Classic Kitchen, who is well-known (and loved) by the Jewish community. Plus, they give you a 1-year warranty, so you’re covered!

Why Not?

Don’t get this electric Shabbat kettle if you’ve got a large family or even a medium-sized family. Its capacity (3.2L) is enough just for 13 cups or so. So, if you’re a coffee/tea fanatic like me, it’s barely enough for 2-3 people.

Who is it for?

If you’re looking for a small hot water dispenser just for yourself or for a small group of people, then this is the only Shabbat hot water pot you should get.

It has a 3.2L capacity, which is enough for about 13 cups. That’s more than enough for 1-2 coffee & tea addicts to last the Shabbat.

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Euro Tech ET7100 5-Quart Hot Water Urn

Why Should You Get it?

The Euro Tech team have outdone themselves with their hot water urn, that was created especially for Shabbat observers.

This Shabbos hot water dispenser can boil up to 5 quarts (almost 5 liters) of water, meaning you’ll be able to fill about 20 cups, easily.

The cute flower design makes it a nice addition to add to your kitchen counter, and definitely a worthy winner of our “Best Value” award.

Why?

• Does an amazing job heating your water up quickly
• Has a clean white design, fancying up your kitchen
• Very (very!) affordable

All you have to do is heat your water (which happens blazingly fast), turn on Shabbat mode – and you’ll be enjoying your hot coffee/tea for the entire Shabbat.

Who is it For?

For anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Whether you’re looking for a hot water dispenser for Shabbat, for Passover (Pesach) or any other Jewish holiday – it will definitely get the job done.

It’s great for your home, office, dorm, garden, room… it will serve you hot water and look very pretty while doing so.

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4 Quart Stainless Steel Manual Shabbat Kettle

Why Should You Get it?

This stainless-steel Shabbat kettle is a bit bigger than the previous one by Classic Kitchen, so it might be just what you’re looking for if you’re a family of 3-4 coffee/tea drinkers.

It’s also the cheapest Shabbat hot water pot on this list.

Why Not?

It has only a manual hot water pump, which is a pain if you plan to use it for the rest of the week as well.

Also, the cover is not removable, so emptying this Shabbat kettle can be a bit challenging.

Who is it for?

If the price is your only important factor, then this is the cheapest Shabbos hot water dispenser you can probably find.

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Hamilton Beach 42-Cup Coffee Urn

Top Coffee Urn

Why Should You Get it?

At first, I wasn’t planning to include a coffee urn on this list.

Why?

Well, because a Coffee urn isn’t a hot water urn in the full sense of the word. It’s mostly used for coffee (sometimes tea), not necessarily for hot water.

But because it can be used as a hot water urn, and after receiving a LOT of questions from Amen V’Amen readers, I finally decided to include my favorite coffee urn. Incidentally, it’s the coffee urn I use myself (and absolutely love!).

Hamilton Beach’s coffee urn can brew pretty much anything: from Starbucks coffee, Trader Joe’s ground coffee, all the way up to your favorite premium Italian coffee (I’ve tried it all).

It brews pretty fast – typically around 1 minute per cup. So if you fill it to the 15 cup mark, it’ll take approximately 15 minutes to brew.

Just “set it and forget it” an hour or two before Shabbat comes in and carry on with your Shabbat cooking.

Why Not?

The spigot is annoyingly low. I constantly have to bend my cup to make it fit.

If you have a tall, bucket-sized coffee mug – bad news, it probably won’t fit. 

Who is it for?

Coffee snobs! 

Just kidding…

This multi-purpose urn is great option if you like variety. On one Shabbat, you could brew your premium Italian coffee, and the next week you could just remove the coffee filter and use it as a regular hot water urn.

The choice is yours! 

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Final Verdict

Let’s have a big round of applause for our winners – the top hot water urns for Shabbat:

Top Shabbos Urn	Our Favorite Urn	Top Budget Urn	Top Coffee Urn
Chefman Hot Water Dispenser Instant Electric Pot	Pro Chef PC8100 5-Quart Hot Water urn	Classic Kitchen CK321NP 3.5QT (3.2L)	Hamilton Beach 42-Cup Coffee Urn
Our Rating:	Our Rating:	Our Rating:	Our Rating:
Get it Here	Get it Here	Get it Here	Get it Here

Top Shabbos Urn: Chefman’s Shabbos hot water pot is the clear winner here. The durability, reliability, safety and of course the cheap price make this water dispenser a bargain and simply a must-have in any Jewish kitchen, and a clear winner of our Best hot water urn award.

Our Favorite Urn: Pro Chef’s urn wins our favorite Shabbat hot water urn award. I really had a hard time finding any real “problems” with this one (yes, the water indicator is a bit annoying, but let’s not be picky here). Pro Chef’s water pot is literally “plug and play”. Any Jewish family, regardless of their religious level, can simply plug it in and start using it. No special cleaning, no Tevillah, no nothing. How great is that?

Top Budget Urn: Classic Kitchen is one of the top hot water urn brands out there, and this little beast is a perfect example of why. Inexpensive, very professionally made and lasts for a long time. Plus, you can use it to refill and reboil water on Yom Tov – Yep – hot coffee & tea on holidays!  

Top Coffee Urn: The true beauty of Hamilton Beach’s coffee urn is that it’s multi-purpose; you can use it as a coffee urn, tea urn or hot water urn. The choice is yours… Now that’s true democracy! And the best of all? It’s cheaper than most Shabbat hot water urns. 

Conclusion

The conclusion is that you can now relax and enjoy a hot cup of coffee on Shabbat. If that’s not true freedom, I don’t know what is.

Simply turn on the urn before Shabbat comes in (make sure to leave enough time for it to boil), heat up something yummy on the Shabbat hot plate – and enjoy a peaceful Shabbos! 

Shabbat Shalom

P.S: Leave a comment below and let me know which Shabbat urn you chose, or if you’d like to invite me for a hot cup of coffee from your new urn

• “What are the most common Jewish wishes and greetings?”
• “How do I congratulate the bride and groom?”
• “What do I write in a Jewish wedding card?”

Traditional Jewish Wedding Wishes

Mazel Tov

• English Version: Mazel Tov!
• Hebrew Version: “!מזל טוב”

1. Guests congratulate the couple and their family with “Mazel Tov” as they enter the Kabbalat Panim (the reception area).
2. You’ll likely write “Mazel Tov” at least once in your wedding card
3. When the groom breaks the glass after the seven blessings, the crowd cheers “Mazel Tov”.

May today’s joy continue to fill your life forever!

• English Version: May today’s joy continue to fill your life forever!
• Hebrew Version: שהאושר ימשיך למלא את חייכם לעד

Mazel Tov on your wedding day

• English Version: Mazel Tov on your wedding day
• Hebrew Version: מזל טוב לרגל חתונתכם

May you build a loyal home in Israel

• English Version: May you build a loyal home in Israel
• Hebrew Version: שתזכו להקים בית נאמן בישראל

May you build a Kosher and loving home

• English Version: May you build a Kosher and loving home
• Hebrew Version: שתזכו להקים בית כשר ואוהב

Bracha & Hatslacha!

• English Version: Bracha & Hatslacha! (Hebrew for “blessing and success”.)
• Hebrew Version: !ברכה והצלחה

L’Chaim!

• English Version: L’Chaim! (Hebrew for “To life”)
• Hebrew Version: !לחיים

L’Chaim Tovim U’le Shalom

• English Version: L’Chaim Tovim U’le Shalom (Hebrew for “Good life and peace”)
• Hebrew Version: לחיים טובים ולשלום

May you fulfill all your dreams together!

• English Version: May you fulfill all your dreams together!
• Hebrew Version: !שתגשימו יחד את כל החלומות

Bracha, Parnasa & Hatzlacha

• English Version: Bracha, Parnasa & Hatzlacha (Hebrew for “blessing, wealth and success”)
• Hebrew Version: ברכה, פרנסה, והצלחה

Wishing you lots of Nachat/Naches

• English Version: Wishing you lots of Nachat/Naches
• Hebrew Version: מאחלת לכם הרבה נחת

May God grant you all your wishes!

• English Version: May God grant you all your wishes!
• Hebrew Version: שה’ ימלא כל משאלות לבכם

May your lives be filled with love, joy, and laughter, BH

• English Version: May your lives be filled with love, joy, and laughter, BH
• Hebrew Version: !’שחייכם יהיו מלאים באהבה, שמחה, וצחוק, בעזרת ה

May you be blessed, always!

• English Version: May you be blessed, always!
• Hebrew Version: !תבורכו תמיד

May your marriage be blessed with a lifetime of love and happiness

• English Version: May your marriage be blessed with a lifetime of love and happiness
• Hebrew Version: מאחלת לכם נישואין מלאים באהבה ושמחה

May God fill your home with love and happiness

• English Version: May God fill your home with love and happiness
• Hebrew Version: שה’ ימלא את ביתכם באושר ואהבה

May God bless you and shine a bright light in your home

• English Version: May God bless you and shine a bright light in your home
• Hebrew Version: שה’ יברך אתכם וישרה אור בביתכם

May God bless you with a lifetime of love, peace, and joy

• English Version: May God bless you with a lifetime of love, peace, and joy
• Hebrew Version: שה’ יברך אתכם בחיים מלאים באהבה, שלווה ושמחה

Here’s to a long and happy marriage, L’Chaim!

• English Version: Here’s to a long and happy marriage, L’Chaim!
• Hebrew Version: !לחיי נישואין ארוכים ושמחים, לחיים

Jewish Wedding Quotes & Sayings

• English Version: “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” – Song of Songs 6:3
• Hebrew Version: “אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי”

• English Version: “I have found the one whom my soul loves” – Song of Songs 3:4
• Hebrew Version: “מָּצָ֔אתִי אֵ֥ת שֶׁאָהֲבָ֖ה נַפְשִׁ֑י”

• English Version: “Kol Sasson V’Kol Simcha, Kol Chatan V’Kol Kala”
• Hebrew Version: “קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה”

• English Version: “He who is mightier than all; He who is blessed above all; He who is greater than all; He who is distinguished beyond all; He should bless the groom and the bride.” – Mi Adir
• Hebrew Version: “מי אדיר על הכל, מי ברוך על הכל, מי גדול על הכל, מי דגול על הכל, הוא יברך את החתן ואת הכלה”

• English Version: “He Who understands the speech of the rose of thorns, the affection of lovers, the joy of the beloved, may He bless the bridegroom and the bride.” – Mi Adir
• Hebrew Version: “מי בָן שיח שושן חוחים, אהבת כלה משוש דודים, הוא יברך את החתן ואת הכלה”.

• English Version: “A husband and wife are one soul, separated only through their descent to this world. When they are married, they are reunited again” – Zohar

• English Version: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24
• Hebrew Version: “עַל-כֵּן, יַעֲזָב-אִישׁ, אֶת-אָבִיו, וְאֶת-אִמּוֹ; וְדָבַק בְּאִשְׁתּוֹ, וְהָיוּ לְבָשָׂר אֶחָד”

• English Version: “Enjoy life with the woman you love” – King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 9:9
• Hebrew Version: “רְאֵה חַיִּים עִם-אִשָּׁה אֲשֶׁר-אָהַבְתָּ”

• English Version: “A person should always be careful about the honor of his wife, for blessing is found in a person’s home only due to his wife” – Talmud, Bava Metzia 59a 1
• Hebrew Version: לעולם יהא אדם זהיר בכבוד אשתו שאין ברכה מצויה בתוך ביתו של אדם אלא בשביל אשתו” – תלמוד, בבא מציעא נט’ א

• English Version: “A person should always eat and drink less than what is within his means, and he should dress and cover himself in accordance with his means, and he should honor his wife and children more than what is within his means; as they are dependent on him and he is dependent on the One Who spoke and the world was created.” – Talmud Chullin 84b
• Hebrew Version: “לעולם יאכל אדם וישתה פחות ממה שיש לו וילבש ויתכסה במה שיש לו ויכבד אשתו ובניו יותר ממה שיש לו שהן תלויין בו והוא תלוי במי שאמר והיה העולם”

Popular Wedding Wishes

• May you accomplish all your dreams together!
• May the years ahead be filled with lasting joy!
• Today you begin a new chapter in your life.
• Wishing you joy, love, and happiness on your wedding day
• Wishing you a fun, exciting, and peaceful life as you embark on your journey together.
• May you fulfill all your dreams together!
• May your love grow stronger and stronger every year
• May today mark the beginning of a long, happy, and fulfilling life
• May today’s joy continue to fill your life forever!
• We’re so excited to celebrate this wonderful day with you as your guest
• I wish you two a lifetime of joy, success, and fulfillment together as a happy couple
• Hugs and kisses
• Best wishes

Funny Wedding Wishes

1. Stand out from the crowd
2. Stand outside in the rain

• Now that you’re married, you don’t need Google anymore… You can just ask your wife for the answer!
• Who needs Netflix, when you’ve got Comedy, Drama, Action, and Thriller all in one marriage?
• Listen to Me… Listen to Her!
• So excited to get wasted on your wedding day!
• Thanks for all the free snacks!
• Congratulations on your transition from “madly in love” to “just mad”.
• Did you hear that the divorce rate was 50%? So, heads or tails?
• From now on, guys night out = “Honey, take out the trash”
• It’s been nice knowing you…
• Congratulations, you’re married! (My condolences)
• Wishing you a long life together, Romeo and Juliet!

Jewish Wedding Card Message Examples

The Traditional Blessing

The Hebrew Blessing

The Funny Blessing

Conclusion

Besides, you know the bride and groom much better than I do (I wasn’t even invited! )

Mazel Tov

Your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah is around the corner.

Everything is set for the big day…

• … You booked the venue.
• … You chose the Bar/Bat Mitzvah party theme
• … You sent out invitations.
• … You even wrote a speech.

All that’s left is to watch your “baby” turn into a young Jewish adult.

How exciting!

But wait a minute…

There’s one thing missing.

I mean, Isn’t the whole point of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah to celebrate their coming of age? The day they finally become accountable for their actions and follow the Jewish Mitzvot (commandments)?

(Answer: yes)

And how do you introduce a Bar/Bat Mitzvah to Mitzvot?

With one BIG, meaningful & unforgettable Mitzvah… that’s how!

Introducing: The Mitzvah project.

What is a Mitzvah Project?

The Mitzvah project is a popular Jewish custom where a Bar/Bat Mitzvah chooses a special Mitzvah they like to fulfill to celebrate their Jewish coming of age.

It’s a unique opportunity for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah to contribute to others, learn about the importance of the Mitzvah and create a fulfilling experience they’ll never forget.

The concept of Mitzvah projects is relatively new. It was designed to help B’nai Mitzvah learn more about the different Jewish commandments (after all, there are 613 of em’), and help practice the Mitzvah in real life.

This gives the young Bar/Bat Mitzvah a “soft landing” to the world of the Jewish commandments…

Look at this way:

• Best case scenario: The Mitzvah project gives them a “spark” to fulfill more Mitzvot regularly.
• Worst case scenario: They get an amazing experience they’ll carry with them for the rest of their life.

Win-win!

How to Choose a Mitzvah Project

There are 613 Mitzvot (!) to choose from for your Mitzvah project, divided into two categories:

1. Mitzvot between you and G-d
2. Mitzvot between you and other people

Now, you’re probably thinking: “This is overwhelming!” 

And you’re right: it can be overwhelming if you approach it the wrong way.

But with the right process, you’ll be able to choose a meaningful Mitzvah project that your child LOVES.

The process is simple:

1. Write down what you like
2. Choose your Mitzvah Project
3. Announce your Mitzvah Project
4. Fulfill the Mitzvah

Simple, right?

If you just screamed “No! It’s scary!”.

… Good!

Because I’ll be with you every step of the way (virtually speaking) … until the moment you decide “THAT! That is my Mitzvah project!”

Ready?

Let’s begin…­­­

Step 1: Write Down What You Like 

Forget about choosing your Mitzvah project for now.

Count to 3, and get it out of your head.

3… 2… 1…

Poof!

Is it out?

Good.

Right now – all I want you to do is write down everything you know about yourself. 

(I know it sounds odd… but bear with me) 

If you’re going to bother choosing a Mitzvah project, then it should be something you care deeply about.

Because let me tell you – there’s no shortage of Mitzvah projects you can choose from. So, the more specific you can get, the easier it’ll be to choose.

Here’s how it works:

I’m going to ask you a bunch of questions… I want you to write down everything that comes to mind.

And by everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

This is a brainstorming exercise… the entire goal is to write. things. down.

Writing it down on paper (or screen) makes it “real”.

Grab a pen and paper (or a keyboard) …

Relax… Sit comfortably…

Ready? Here we go:

• What are your hobbies? 
• How do you spend most of your time? 
• What are your unique strengths and qualities? 
• What qualities would you like to improve? 
• What Jewish customs or prayers do you find interesting? 
• Think about the last time you saw someone who needs help. Who was it? 
• Think about the people in your life you care about. Ask yourself: how can you help them (or other people like them)
• Think about all those times you saw someone in despair and thought to yourself. “boy…I wish I could do something to help them”? 
• What Mitzvah projects did your friends choose that you also liked
• Who do you know that can help you find a Mitzvah project (think friends, relatives, neighbors, teachers, charities)?

If you did this exercise right – you should have at least a full page-or-two (or more) of things you care about.

Next, we’ll look at a bunch of popular Mitzvah project ideas and find out which ones fit best with what you just wrote.

Step 2: Choose Your Mitzvah Project

Thousands of Jewish kids choose a Mitzvah project every single year.

Why reinvent the wheel, if you can just take a look out what other B’nai Mitzvah choose and steal borrow their Mitzvah project?

So… grab the notes you took earlier, and choose the ones you find interesting.

Here are a few unique Mitzvah project ideas & examples to get you started:

Charity & Tzedakah 

Indeed, 12 and 13-year-olds don’t normally have a bunch of cash stuffed under their mattress…

Still, many B’nai Mitzvah get a generous amount of money for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah… Even if you donate a teeny-tiny percentage of what you got to charity – it can make a world of difference.

What if you didn’t get a whole lot of money? What if instead of money, you received Bar or Bat Mitzvah gifts?

Well, good news – donating doesn’t necessarily involve money.

You can donate anything from old clothes, toys, hair (for cancer patients), food, bicycles, Purim costumes, even your fancy Bat Mitzvah dress.

And the good thing about donating these things? You won’t be able to use them in a few years anyway – you’ll eventually “outgrow” them!

Remember:

Prayer

Thankfully, there is no shortage of Jewish prayers you can choose from.

But you may be wondering: “Why should I choose a prayer for my Mitzvah project? What’s so special about that?”

Well, let me tell you this… There’s more to Jewish prayers than meets the eye.

Many Jewish prayers have layers upon layers of deep, hidden meaning… So deep, that it makes Alice in Wonderland look like a friggin’ amateur.

For example – did you ever wonder…

• What makes the “Amidah” prayer so important?
• Why King David wrote certain songs in Tehillim (Psalms)?
• What is the hidden meaning of the Song of Songs?

Uncovering the secrets of certain Jewish prayers is like peeling a never-ending onion: the more layers you peel, the more layers you uncover. And just like peeling an onion, you might even shed a tear or two.

Tallit & Tefillin

Tallit & Tefillin are technically two separate Mitzvot. But since we (usually) wear them together – you can combine both Mitzvot into one and kill two birds with one stone (killing, by the way, is a big no-no).

Chesed Projects

The word “Chesed” in Hebrew translates to “love and kindness”.

Unfortunately, we’re surrounded by people who go through difficult periods in their lives: poverty, sickness, loneliness…

People who go through challenges in life find it hard to stay positive, especially if they don’t have family or friends to support them. These people could use acts of kindness more than ever.

That’s where Chesed comes in.

There are nearly unlimited ways to give to those in need, and plenty of organizations that will help you fulfill various acts of kindness (you’ll find several organizations like that at the end of the article).

The following Mitzvah project ideas all qualify as “Chesed” Mitzvah projects.

Volunteer at a nursing home or hospital

People in nursing homes are starving for human contact.

You can make someone’s day just by sitting and listening to someone share their life story and wisdom with you.

Help holocaust survivors 

There are approximately 100,000 holocaust survivors in the US alone. Almost 25,000 of them are 85 years old or older, and over 6,000 of them live in poverty.

Needless to say – they deserve to live their final years with respect and dignity.

Thankfully, several organizations do their best to make that happen.

Spend time with children with disabilities

You can spend time with kids with special needs.

Or, you can even donate some of your remaining Bar/Bat Mitzvah party decorations. For example – instead of throwing away balloons, flowers and party favors – you can donate it to other kids and put a smile on their faces.

Support orphans & kids with disabilities

Not every child is lucky enough to have a supporting family, celebrate Jewish holidays or celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Several organizations help you contribute to underprivileged kids: provide them with school supplies, give them presents on Jewish holidays and send them to summer camp.

Train or sponsor a guide dog

There are fabulous organizations that provide free guide dogs to people who are blind or visually impaired. You can be a part of this incredible Mitzvah by helping train a dog or by supporting them financially.

Raise awareness for charities

Lots of people need help. Charities do their best with what they have, but they could do a lot more if they didn’t have limited resources.

Pick a charity and help drive awareness to their cause… they sure could use your help.

Start a fundraiser online

Starting an online fundraiser has never been easier.

You can raise money and awareness to contribute to your favorite charity and make a big difference in someone’s life with just a few mouse clicks.

Plant trees in Israel

Up until a few decades ago – Israel was mostly sand.

Then, with lots of hard work, persistence, planting one tree after another – the land grew and flourished into the beautiful country we have today.

But you know what they say: If you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind.

Growth has to continue, nature has to be preserved… and you can help make that happen.

How? By planting a tree in Israel.

Here’s the best part: you don’t even have to physically be in Israel to plant a tree (if you’re planning a Bar/Bat Mitzvah trip to Israel – then by all means – plant one yourself!).

Thankfully, there are plenty of organizations that can plant a tree on your behalf (I’ll mention a few of them later).

Organize a bake sale

Go on a baking frenzy and sell them like hot buns!

You can bake Challah (which is a Mitzvah in of itself), pastries, cakes… and sell them in your neighborhood.

Got leftovers?

You know what to do…

Donate food to a shelter or senior homes

Guess what? Odds are you’ll have plenty of food left over from your party. Why throw so much food to the garbage if there so many homeless people out there (literally) starving?

Instead, ask your caterer to wrap the leftover food and drinks from your Bar/Bat Mitzvah party, and drive it to a nearby shelter so people can enjoy some of your delicious Bar/Bat Mitzvah food.

Or, you can even …

Volunteer at a food shelter or soup kitchen 

They could sure use a hand.

Volunteer at an animal shelter or hospital

Love animals? You can choose to help animals for your Mitzvah project at your nearest animal shelter or hospital.

Step 3: Announce Your Mitzvah Project

It’s best to announce the Mitzvah during the Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech.

If you’re not planning a party or a reception (for example, if you’re taking a Bar/Bat Mitzvah trip instead) – then you can either announce it in front of your family or friends or even announce it on social media.

Otherwise, if you’re not planning a party or a reception (for example, if you’re just having the ceremony or you’re taking a Bar/Bat Mitzvah trip instead) – then you can either announce it in front of your family and friends or even announce it on social media.

The public announcement is designed to put some social pressure on your child so that they’re more likely to follow through on their Mitzvah project. 

Step 4: Fulfill the Mitzvah

This is the fun part: fulfilling the Mitzvah.

Start by learning the ins and outs of the Mitzvah:

• What makes this Mitzvah so important?
• How do you fulfill the Mitzvah?
• Do you practice the Mitzvah regularly?

Personal Mitzvah Projects

If your Bar/Bat Mitzvah chose a personal Mitzvah project like praying, lighting Shabbat candlesticks or wearing Tallit & Tefillin every day – come up with a plan (together) that’ll help them to stick to it…

Include incentives if you have to…

Incentives?

Yep, incentives…

• Want to light Shabbat candles every week? Get the Bat Mitzvah her very own pair of Shabbat candlesticks and light candles together every week.
• Want to wear a Tallit & Tefillin in a Minyan? Get the Bar Mitzvah a beautiful Tallit & Tefillin, and join him for the morning prayers in the synagogue so he’ll get used to praying in a Minyan.

You get the idea…

Fulfilling a personal Mitzvah project (especially a recurring one) means you’ll have to start developing new habits… and that’s easier said than done.

Ever started a new year’s resolution?

1. December is here. The new year is just around the corner… You decide it’s about damn time you start going to the gym, quit smoking, or perhaps pray in the synagogue regularly.
2. January arrives. You start going to the gym… Hooray! You’re all fired up: “I’m going to crush it this year!”.
3. But then the dreaded February comes… Your gym membership still exists. Your “fire”? Not so much.

The bottom line is this: if you want new habits to “stick”, it has to be compelling enough to make you want to continue doing it after the initial excitement fades off.

Public Mitzvah Projects

With a public Mitzvah project like Tzedakah or volunteering – the good thing is you don’t have to come up with a plan yourself.

The organization you contribute to usually takes care of that… they’ll guide you through the entire process. All you’ve got to do is follow their instructions and make sure you stick to it.

It still requires some self-discipline, but it’s typically easier to achieve because you’re “held accountable” by the organization AND your family (you announced it during your Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, remember?)

Speaking of organizations you can contribute to…

Mitzvah Project Organizations

By now you probably have a few Mitzvah project ideas in mind…

Now… it’s time to turn that idea into reality.

How?

Allow me to introduce you to amazing organizations & non-profits that can help your Mitzvah project come to life.

We reached out to several organizations that accept Bar/Bat Mitzvah boys & girls with open arms. We asked them to share the experience you’ll get if you choose them as your Mitzvah project partner. And more importantly – how your contribution can make a difference in other people’s lives.

Here’s what they had to say:

Your Turn

A Bar/Bat Mitzvah project, more than anything, marks the beginning of your journey into Jewish adulthood.

The memories… the experience…the contributions… they all last much longer than a Bar/Bat Mitzvah party ever could.

Remember: You’re planting a seed that will hopefully grow into a beautiful tree of wonderful Jewish values… Values like Tzedakah, Chesed and Tikkun Olam.

And with such a rich set of Jewish values – you’re off to a great start.

Mazel Tov!

How do you spot a guest who’s attending a Jewish wedding for the first time?

Easy: Look for people who have a confused look on their face. Those who are scratching their head, wondering:

• Why is the bride circling the groom?
• Why did the groom just break a glass? 
• And why on earth are people dancing on chairs?! 

There’s no doubt – Jewish weddings are different. Different traditions. Different rituals. Heck, even different wedding gifts.

But wait, it gets even more confusing…

Not only do Jewish weddings have unorthodox (or should I say, Orthodox ) traditions. But you’ll also notice different customs and rituals depending on the type of Jewish wedding you’re attending.

• Certain Orthodox Jewish wedding traditions are absent in Conservative and Reform ceremonies.
• Some customs are exclusive only to Ashkenazi Jews, and not practiced by Sephardic Jews.
• Even the location of the wedding matters: weddings in the US aren’t the same as weddings in Israel.

Can you blame Jewish wedding first-timers for being confused?

Well, it’s time to lift the veil of mystery…

In this Jewish wedding guide, you’ll learn what lies behind every single Jewish wedding tradition, who follows each tradition, and what exactly you should do.

If this is your first Jewish wedding ceremony: pay attention. Otherwise, you’ll be left scratching your head all night wondering what the hell is going on… and I won’t be there to save you (I wasn’t invited! ).

Before the Wedding

Let’s start from the beginning. And ironically, the ‘beginning’ starts long before you even step foot in the wedding venue.

These rituals all take place before the wedding ceremony…

Aufruf (or Shabbat Hatan)

Aufruf (Yiddish for “calling up”) is a traditional ceremony where the groom is called up for an Aliyah at the synagogue to read from the Torah. It takes place on the Sabbath before the wedding.

In non-traditional communities, the bride and groom sometimes perform the Aliyah together.

After the Torah reading, the women bombard the groom with candy – a symbol (a weird one, I know) of the sweet life they wish upon the bride and groom.

This is always a funny scene to behold. The women are trying to hit the “target” (the groom), the men are seeking cover under the tables using their Siddur as a shield, while the kids scour the floor to grab as much candy as they can.

In the end – there’s always some poor fella who gets plummeted with candy and comes of the “event” with a cute little bump on his head (trust me, I’ve been that poor fella more than once!).

Turns out “candy terror” is a real thing:).

Did You Know? Certain communities (primarily Ashkenazi) follow a similar tradition for the bride – called Shabbat Kallah (the bride’s Sabbath). But unlike the Aufruf/Shabbat Hatan, the bride doesn’t read from the Torah. Instead, the focus is on celebrating with the bride and bringing her joy before the wedding day.

Mikvah

A few days before the wedding (typically within four days of the wedding), the bride immerses herself in a Mikvah (or Mikveh), a ritual bath Jews use to purify themselves. This commandment is unique to women, although some men (particularly in modern Orthodox communities) perform the ritual as well.

The Mikvah often turns into a mini-celebration, in which the bride invites her close friends and family to join her in the ritual. The ritual bath is often followed by an intimate meal, and may even involve gifts, favors, and giveaways.

Fasting

Many Ashkenazi couples fast on their wedding day.

This custom might seem odd at first. I mean, why on earth would you fast on your wedding day?! Isn’t it supposed to be a celebration?

It sure is… and that’s precisely the reason why Jews fast.

Let me explain…

According to Jewish tradition, Jews are supposed to fast for several reasons:

• To atone for our sins (i.e Yom Kippur)
• To focus on the spiritual, and abstain from the physical
• To highlight important days or occasions

Jewish weddings fall into all three of these categories.

1. Just as Jews fast on Yom Kippur to atone for their sins, they fast on their wedding day to atone for the sins they committed when they were single, and start off their new shared life with a “blank slate”. That’s why other Yom Kippur traditions like wearing white and reciting confessions are also practiced on the Jewish wedding day.
2. Jewish weddings are, first and foremost, a spiritual connection between two souls. (I talk more about that in the Breaking the Glass section).
3. Do I really need to explain why your wedding day is an important day?

Sephardic Jews don’t fast. In fact, they take the opposite approach – they’re encouraged to feast on their wedding day. Rabbi Ovadia Yosef claimed that the wedding day is similar to a Yom Tov (Jewish holiday), so eating is not only permitted, but encouraged.

The Pre-wedding Reception (Kabbalat Panim)

If you’ve never been to a Jewish wedding before, you might think that the Kabbalat Panim is where you wish the couple Mazel Tov, eat some Hummus and have small talk with friends you haven’t seen since 9th grade. While there’s definitely some of that going on, there’s more to it than that… a LOT more.

In Orthodox Jewish weddings, the bride sits in a designated area where guests can approach her and congratulate her.

The groom holds a Tisch (Yiddish for “table”) – a table filled with food and drinks, where his friends and family gather together for a pre-wedding toast to congratulate, bless, praise and “tease” him (all in good spirit).

It’s customary for the groom to also read a portion from the Torah or share a few words of wisdom… or at least try to, until he gets interrupted by all the clapping, singing and teasing of his friends and family (again, all done in good spirit).

Finally, the Tisch is concluded with the signing of the Ketubah (more on the Ketubah signing later).

Tenaim

Tenaim is an engagement contract with a list of agreed-upon conditions that form the marriage, as well as the couple’s intention of marrying each other. It’s sometimes added alongside or as an addendum to the Ketubah.

At the Tenaim ceremony (also known as Kinyan Ceremony in Sephardic communities), the Tenaim contract is filled and signed by two witnesses – usually the same ones that sign the Ketubah (more on that next). 

The couple then recites the Tenaim (Hebrew for “conditions”) during the Kabbalat Panim or at the engagement party (vort).

Finally, the mothers of the bride and groom gather together to break a ceramic plate.

Tenaim is mostly a dated tradition, and it’s by no means required by Jewish law. Indeed, this tradition as common anymore these days. It made more sense when arranged marriages were the norm, and the bride and groom had to agree upon various familial topics: where to live, family size, financial planning, how to raise children, etc’.

Couples that still practice the tradition do it mostly for nostalgic reasons. And just like many other Jewish wedding traditions – it has been adapted and “modernized”. Different versions and variations of Tenaim documents have emerged over the years. They’re available in various formats, languages, and styles…

Ketubah Signing

Unlike the Tenaim, the tradition of signing the Ketubah is still very much practiced. Not only is it practiced, but it’s also considered one of the main highlights of the entire wedding ceremony.

The Ketubah is the traditional Jewish marriage contract. In the past, the Ketubah served as a formal contract that dictated how much the groom had to pay the bride in case their marriage ended due to divorce or death. Nowadays, the role of the Ketubah is mostly symbolic (except in Israel – where it’s still legally binding).

In traditional Jewish weddings, the Ketubah signing takes place at the Tisch, where the groom is surrounded by his close friends and family members.

The Rabbi initiates the Ketubah signing by first inspecting the Ketubah to make sure it’s valid. Once the Rabbi validates the Ketubah, the groom then agrees to take on the responsibilities outlined in the Ketubah. This is done through a process called Kinyan Chalipin (or Kinyan Sudar) – a symbolic form of transaction that doesn’t involve currency.

The process goes like this:

1. The Rabbi initiates the Ketubah signing by first reviewing the Ketubah to make sure it’s valid.
2. The groom then agrees to take on the responsibility of providing for his wife, as stated in the Ketubah.
3. The Rabbi hands the groom a handkerchief. The groom raises the handkerchief in front of the two witnesses – a sign of consent and acceptance of his responsibilities, as stated in the Ketubah. He then returns the handkerchief it to the Rabbi
4. The Rabbi completes the Kinyan Chalipin (also known as Kinyan Sudar) – a symbolic form of transaction that doesn’t involve currency – by adding the Aramaic word v’kanina (or “transaction completed”) to the Ketubah
5. The two witnesses sign the Ketubah to finalize the process and confirm that the groom has accepted the agreement (In non-Orthodox communities, the bride and groom often sign the Ketubah as well)

The traditional Ketubah is written in Aramaic – the common language used at the time the Ketubah was formed.

Modern Ketubahs are particularly stunning; they’re not just a block of text written in some cryptic language that nobody can read. More often than not, they resemble artworks more than they do marriage contracts.

Couples often frame and display their Ketubah in their home after the wedding, so it’s no surprise that this brand new “Ketubah Art” industry has gained popularity in recent years.

And it’s not just Ketubah designs, either. Over the years, additional Ketubah texts started to emerge in various Jewish circles. Nowadays, you’ll see all kinds of Ketubahs at weddings: from traditional Ketubahs, Conservative Ketubahs, Reform Ketubahs, even interfaith Ketubahs.

Veiling the Bride (Badeken)

Now that the Ketubah is signed – the groom, escorted by his father, the Rabbi and close friends, join the bride for the Badeken ceremony – the veiling of the bride (also known as “Hinuma” in Hebrew). The groom covers the bride’s face with a veil – just as Rebecca the matriarch did when Isaac, her groom, approached her before they wed.

The Badeken has several interpretations:

• It highlights the groom’s appreciation of the bride’s inner beauty.
• According to the Talmud, the veil embodies the modesty expected from a married woman.
• It emphasizes the importance of internal traits like personality and character, as opposed to physical beauty.
• The veil represents the husband’s responsibility to provide clothing and shelter for his wife.

Once the Badeken ceremony is over, the bride and groom are separated again to prepare for the Chuppah ceremony – the main highlight of the Jewish wedding ceremony, where the couple reunite again, this time to become husband and wife.

The Wedding Ceremony (The Chuppah)

Finally, we arrive at the moment of truth: the wedding ceremony.

The Jewish wedding ceremony is divided into two parts: 1) Kiddushin (“betrothal”) and 2) Nissuin (“marriage”), both of which take place under the Chuppah.

The Chuppah is the famous canopy under which Jewish couples get married. The wedding canopy consists of four poles (that are either fixed to the ground or held by people) and a cloth or a large Tallit that covers the top of the canopy. The cover is a symbol of God’s presence and protection over the Jewish couple.

Many Ashkenazi couples hold their Chuppah outside under the open sky, assuming the weather permits it. This isn’t a “thing” in Sephardic circles, although some couples may still choose an outside Chuppah just as a personal preference.

The Chuppah represents the future home the couple will build together. The four “walls” of the Chuppah are wide open – a symbol of hospitality and the welcoming of guests – similar to the hospitality that Abraham and Sarah’s showed their guests.

The contents of the Chuppah are empty: it has no furniture, no decorations, no fancy items… aside from the people inside, there’s nothing else there. This serves as a reminder that the basis of a Jewish home is the people residing inside, not material possessions.

The same goes for the bride and groom. They enter the Chuppah “bare”, without fancy Jewelry or conspicuous possessions. Again, highlighting the idea that “it’s the people, not the stuff” that matters.

In Ashkenazi communities, the groom often wears a Kittel – a long white robe, before walking into the Chuppah.

Sephardic grooms, on the other hand, wear a Tallit to the Chuppah. At the end of the ceremony, the groom wraps the bride with his Tallit – an act of unification.

The plain, white Kittel also symbolizes the bride’s focus on her groom’s personality, as opposed to his material possessions.

Both the bride and groom wear white under the Chuppah – a symbol of the purity and sanctity of the Jewish wedding ceremony. Just like on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the bride and groom are awarded the opportunity to atone for their sins and start fresh. They’re now committed to start their life with a “blank slate”, and lead a joint-life based on purity, modesty, and spirituality.

As King Solomon remarked:

Jewish Wedding Processional Order

The Jewish wedding processional order looks like this:

1. The Rabbi (stands at the center of the Chuppah)
2. The bride’s grandparents (seated in the first row on the right side)
3. The groom’s grandparents (seated in the first row on the left side)
4. Groomsmen, in pairs
5. Best man, by himself
6. The groom, escorted by his parents (his mother on the right and his father on the left). The groom stands on the left side of the Chuppah
7. Bridesmaids, in pairs
8. Maid of honor, alone
9. Ring bearer and/or flower girl
10. The bride, escorted by her parents (her mother on the right and her father on the left). The bride stands on the right side of the Chuppah
11. The bride stops in the middle of the aisle. The groom then walks towards the bride, acknowledges his future in-laws, and escorts the bride to the Chuppah.

The Circling of the Groom (Hakafot)

In Ashkenazi circles, the bride circles the groom seven times, a tradition known as “Hakafot” (Hebrew for “circling”). This practice represents the building of the couple’s new home, with each circle strengthening the “walls” further.

It is believed that the circling tradition has originated from the following passage: “A woman shall circle a man” (Jeremiah 31:22)

Why 7 times?

In Judaism, the number 7 is a symbol of completeness (the seven days of creation, the holy Sabbath, the seven Patriarchs and Matriarchs, the seven Menorah branches…).

After the bride completes the Hakafot, the groom recites the Shehecheyanu blessing over a new Tallit, which is then held by four men over the couple’s heads.

Kiddushin

Now that the bride has settled next to her husband, it’s time to start the ceremony!

The first step of the wedding ceremony is Kiddushin (betrothal).

The Kiddushin stage starts with a glass of wine. The Rabbi then recites the betrothal blessings, after which the couple drinks from the Kiddush cup. Finally, the groom places the ring on the bride’s forefinger.

Unlike non-Jewish weddings, the Jewish wedding ring is made of plain gold with a solid surface – it can’t have any special ornaments or decorations. The simplicity of the ring symbolizes Judaism’s focus on modesty and emphasizes the importance of inner beauty over external beauty.

Before the groom places the ring on the bride’s finger, he declares:

After which, the attendees respond with:

This blessing is the Jewish equivalent of the wedding vows.

The couple is now officially engaged!

But wait, there’s more !

Ketubah Reading

Before moving to the second and final stage of the ceremony, the Rabbi first reads the Ketubah out loud to remind the groom of his responsibilities to provide for his wife.

The Rabbi may also give a short speech or D’var Torah.

Nissuin

Now that the couple is officially betrothed, the Rabbi proceeds towards the second stage of the ceremony, the Nissuin (marriage), which marks the physical bond formed between the bride and groom.

Seven Blessings (Sheva Brachot)

In the Seven Blessings (or “Sheva Berachot” in Hebrew), the Rabbi recites a list of, well, seven blessings over the second cup of wine. In some cases, he might invite other family members to recite some of the blessings (or have them recite the English version of the blessing).

The purpose of the Sheva Brachot is to:

1. Thank God for his creation and the joy he bestowed upon us
2. Wish that the couple will rejoice together like Adam & Eve
3. Pray for the rebuilding of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem

At the end of the seven blessings, the bride and groom drink the second cup of wine to complete the Nissuin stage of the wedding ceremony.

Breaking the Glass

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the breaking of the glass!

Note: Some Ashkenazi communities break the glass before the Ketubah reading.

The groom recites the famous verses from Psalm 137:5-6:

The Rabbi places a glass on the floor, covers it with a cloth, and the groom stomps on the glass with all his force. Once the glass is shattered, the guests cheer “Mazel Tov” and rush over to the Chuppah to congratulate the husband and wife.

The breaking of the glass has several symbolic interpretations, with elements of both joy and sorrow (this dichotomy between joy and sorrow, light and darkness is a common theme in Judaism):

1. It represents the permanent nature of marriage. Once the glass is shattered – it’s forever, there is no going back.
2. It’s a metaphor for the two soul fragments that are reunited once again.
3. It symbolizes the destruction of the Jewish Temple, and the hope that it will be rebuilt, just as the bride and groom’s two soul fragments were reunited once again.
4. It represents the fragility of a marriage – and how it should be continuously nurtured to keep it from breaking.
5. It’s a symbol of Tikkun Olam – the Jewish idea every person has the responsibility and the ability to improve the world, even if it’s in a small way.
6. The joke version also states that this is also the last time the husband gets to put his foot down

Yichud

In Ashkenazi circles, after the ceremony is over – the couple is escorted by two close friends (often it’s the same witnesses that sign the Ketubah) to a secluded room to enjoy a few moments of peaceful “alone time” before the partying begins.

Traditionally, the couple is required to spend at least 8 minutes in the Yichud room (it normally lasts around 15 minutes). As you might expect – the Yichud room is prepared in advance so the couple can make every minute count.

The witnesses stand guard to give the couple space and make sure nobody enters the room.

If the couple has been fasting all day, then they also use this opportunity to grab a quick bite to eat and maybe enjoy a drink together for the first time as husband and wife.

The Jewish Wedding Reception (Seudah)

That’s it? Is the ceremony over? Yes, but the party is just getting started!

Originally, the “Seudah” or “Seudat Mitzvah” was a festive meal that couples held after their wedding ceremony. But over the generations, Jewish weddings have into a full-fledged party – in line with the booming wedding industry.

But as you’ll probably notice, even the wedding reception looks different in Jewish weddings…

Dancing

Save your fancy dance moves from Grease for another time – odds are they won’t do you any good in a Jewish wedding.

Aside from the typical songs you’ll often dance to at weddings, there are some atypical Jewish songs and dances you’ll witness for the first time, including the famousHoradance (also known as the “Chair Dance”).

In Orthodox weddings, the dancing (sometimes even the seating) is separated for men and women. That’s partly why the Hora dance is so popular, particularly in Orthodox Jewish weddings – it allows the couple to briefly see and “dance” with each other above the divider.

Another unique Jewish dance is the Mezinka – a dance reserved for when the youngest child in the family gets married.

The parents are seated in the middle of the dancefloor with a broom in their hands (you read that right), so they can finally “sweep” their last unmarried child out of the house. Jewish humor, anyone?

Eating & Drinking

Lots of wine is spilled in Jewish weddings. But it’s not just wine… you’ll find all kinds of Kosher alcoholic drinks (as long as it’s L’Chaimable)!

The food in Jewish weddings is Kosher (although levels of certifications may vary depending on how religious they are).

The type of food being served can vary significantly, depending on whether the couple is Ashkenazi or Sephardic, their ethnic origin, their denomination (Orthodox, Modern Orthodox, Conservative, Reform), and other factors like cost.

Birkat Hamazon (Grace After the Meal)

“OK, party’s over…time to go home.”

Wait! Don’t leave just yet! We’re almost done (plus, you’ll usually get a nice wedding favor if you stick around a bit longer).

Just like any meal where bread is served, the Seudah is concluded with the Birkat Hamazon blessing – grace after meals.

Two cups of wine are required – one for Birkat Hamazon and one for the Seven Blessings recited after.

Guests will often receive Benchers – tiny booklets with the Birkat Hamazon and other songs printed in them, so they can follow along and read the blessings. In many cases, these Benchers will be personalized and given away for the guests to keep (Yipee, free gifts!).

The grace is sometimes led by the groom – if he’s familiar with the blessings. Otherwise, it’s led by another family member or guest.

It’s customary for the same person to also recite the Seven Blessings (obviously, these can’t be recited by the groom). Or alternatively, the blessings can be distributed among multiple guests – so several of them get the chance to bless the couple.

Finally, the leader of the blessings recites the blessing over wine, pours the wine from the two glasses into another glass for the bride and groom to drink from.

After the Wedding

The wedding is over… now what? Do we just set the newlywed loose and let them “figure it out?”

Not quite…

Jewish wedding traditions don’t stop at the wedding. They carry on long after the wedding is over, to make sure that the couple’s transition to married life runs smoothly.

The end of the wedding marks the beginning of the marriage. And Judaism is more concerned about making marriage work, not just the wedding.

Several Jewish customs were put in place to provide the couple with a “soft landing” into married life.

Let’s walk through them one by one…

The Week of Sheva Brachot

(Not to be confused with the Seven Blessings recited under the Chuppah).

In the week after the wedding, it’s customary (though not mandatory) for friends and family to invite the couple over for a festive meal (usually dinner), every day for seven days. Traditionally, one of the attendees (often the groom, if he’s capable) delivers a D’var Torah. The meal is concluded by reciting the Seven Blessings (after Birkat Hamazon).

These celebratory feasts, hosted by the couple’s family and friends, are made to help the couple get used to attending social events as a married couple.

The Honeymoon

Now that the wedding is over, and the couple completed their Sheva Brachot “tour”, they’re free to embark on their honeymoon – their first trip as husband and wife.

Obviously, there’s nothing particularly Jewish about a honeymoon. Nevertheless, it’s an important aspect of every new marriage, Jewish or not.

Some couples go on their honeymoon immediately after the Sheva Brachot. Others go several weeks or months later. This is a matter of personal preference; there are no specific Jewish customs when it comes to honeymoons.

Shana Rishona (The First Year)

During the first year of their marriage, newlyweds are discouraged from spending time apart for a sustainable period of time.

The Torah highlights the importance of getting the first year “right”. This period is when the couple bonds and lays the foundations of their marriage. How they spend their first year together will set the tone for the rest of their marriage.

Jewish Wedding FAQs

Let’s finish off with a “lightning round”. In this section, I’ll answer the most common questions our readers ask us about Jewish weddings! 

How long do Jewish Wedding ceremonies last?

It depends on what you mean by “wedding ceremony”. The wedding ceremony itself – the part that takes place under the Chuppah – lasts between 20-40 minutes. The entire wedding celebration, including the wedding reception, lasts a few hours.

When are Jewish weddings held? 

Jewish weddings can be held during any day of the week, except on Shabbat and major Jewish holidays (Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Passover, Shavuot, and the first and last day of Sukkot).

Saturday night (after Shabbat) and Sunday is a common choice among Jewish couples in the US. In Israel, Thursday is also a popular choice since Friday is a partial workday in the country (due to the Sabbath).

Wedding aren’t held during the Counting of the Omer (Sefirat Haomer) – the 49 days between Passover and Shavuot, as its a period of mourning in the Jewish tradition.

The same goes for the period between 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B’Av. No celebrations, festivals or parties are held during these time periods.

What should I wear to a Jewish wedding?

Jewish weddings have a formal dress code (unless mentioned otherwise in the invitation).

For men, that means a tuxedo or suit. If you’re not a “tux guy”, then at the very least wear a buttoned shirt with long sleeves.

Men are also expected to wear a Kippah (yarmulke), during the wedding ceremony. 

For women, a modest dress is the safest choice. How modest depends on the type of Jewish wedding you’re attending.

• Orthodox Jewish Wedding: In Orthodox Jewish weddings, the appropriate attire for women is long dresses or skirts (without slits) that fall below the knee while covering their shoulders and elbows and pantyhose (or stockings). Married women are also expected to cover their hair.
• Modern Orthodox Jewish Wedding: Modern Orthodox Jews also dress modestly, but they’re often more lenient when it comes to the length of the dress, sleeve length and hair covers.
• Conservative Jewish Wedding: Although still leaning towards modest – dress codes in conservative Jewish weddings are less strict. 
• Reform Jewish Wedding: Reform Jews have no specific dress code requirements.

What gift should I give?

You’ve got two options:

1. A “physical” Gift 
2. Money

They both work. Which one you choose depends on your relationship with the couple, how well you know them and your personal preference.

If you’re getting them a gift, choose something from the couple’s gift registry. If they don’t have a gift registry, get them a gift that every young Jewish couple needs (we’ve got an entire list of wonderful Jewish wedding gifts here). 

If you’re giving money, make sure it’s in multiples of $18 (instead of $100, give $108, etc’). The number 18 is associated with the word “Chai” (Hebrew for “life”) – a symbol of a long and healthy life.

What should I say? What wishes and blessings should I use?

The most common blessing in Jewish weddings is “Mazel Tov”, which is Hebrew for “congratulations”.

Where should I sit?

On a chair…

All jokes aside,  find whether the wedding you’re attending has separated seating or not. Most Orthodox couples have separated seating (although Modern Orthodox are sometimes more lenient).

Where should I dance?

 Most Orthodox Jewish weddings also have separated dancing. So stick to your lane dancefloor and make sure you’re not trespassing! 

Conclusion

If you’re attending a Jewish wedding for the first time, many of these traditions may seem odd at first. That’s because they’re not wedding traditions, they’re marriage traditions.

It’s not about which couple throws the most glamorous wedding reception, who wears the fanciest dress or who gives the most impressive wedding presents. 

Judaism puts its emphasis on making the marriage work, not just the wedding. The wedding is just the first step in a long journey the couple is embarking on. The main goal of these traditional Jewish wedding customs is to help the couple on their journey – by turning two individuals ⇒ into one strong unit; two souls into one.

Especially in times when divorce rates are skyrocketing, where old customs are replaced by progressive ideas, where the marriage institution itself is being questioned – these seemingly outdated Jewish wedding traditions may be more important now than they ever were.

Mazel Tov

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What’s your favorite part of Purim?

Usually, there are three possible answers to that question:

1. Send/receive Mishloach Manot baskets
2. Dress up in cool Purim costumes
3. Send/receive Purim baskets while dressing up in cool Purim costumes

Hmm… it seems that there’s only one answer after all…

In Purim, we give Mishloach Manot as a sign of friendship, unity, and care to the people around us. Every Jew is required to send a Shalach Manot to at least one person.

Luckily – most of us care about more than just a single person (I hope)… so more often than not we end up sending several Shalach Manot to the people we love.

Therein lies the secret of this special Mitzvah: the more we give ⇒ the happier we get.

It’s a beautiful cycle: one filled with love, joy and caring.

And in this guide, we’re going to kickstart the cycle with the best Mishloach Manot & Purim gift ideas we can give to our family, friends and loved ones…

Top Mishloach Manot & Purim Baskets

Before we go over each & every Mishloach Manot (and before you start drooling all over your keyboard/phone), let’s have a glance at the best Purim gift baskets (and other Purim gifts) you’ll find in this article…

Traditional Mishloach Manot	Classy Mishloach Manot	Creative Mishloach Manot	Cute Mishloach Manot	Healthy Mishloach Manot	Cheap Mishloach Manot	Mishloach Manot - Israel Only	Purim Gift
Top Traditional Gift Basket	Top Elegant Gift Basket	Top Creative Gift Basket	Cutest Gift Basket	Top Healthy Gift Basket	Top Cheap Gift Basket	Top Gift Basket in Israel	Top Purim Gift
Gift Tray With Kosher Hamentaschen & Rainbow Cookies	Fames Chocolate Elegant Mishloach Manot Purim Set	Broadway Basketeers Towering Heights Kosher Gourmet Gift Tower	Purim Nosh Basket	12 Variety Nuts In A Modern Wood Gift Tray	Chocolate Oreo Cookies Gifts Box	Purim Home Basket (Israel Only)	Yair Emanuel Wooden Grogger Purim Noisemaker Jerusalem
Get from Amazon	Get from Amazon	Get from Amazon	Get from Amazon	Get from Amazon	Get from Amazon	Get from Oh Nuts!	Get from JWS

Purim Gift Basket	Type
Top Traditional Gift Basket Gift Tray With Kosher Hamentaschen & Rainbow Cookies	Type: Traditional Mishloach Manot	Get from Amazon
Top Elegant Gift Basket Fames Chocolate Elegant Mishloach Manot Purim Set	Type: Classy Mishloach Manot	Get from Amazon
Top Creative Gift Basket Broadway Basketeers Towering Heights Kosher Gourmet Gift Tower	Type: Creative Mishloach Manot	Get from Amazon
Cutest Gift Basket Purim Nosh Basket	Type: Cute Mishloach Manot	Get from Amazon
Top Healthy Gift Basket 12 Variety Nuts In A Modern Wood Gift Tray	Type: Healthy Mishloach Manot	Get from Amazon
Top Cheap Gift Basket Chocolate Oreo Cookies Gifts Box	Type: Cheap Mishloach Manot	Get from Amazon
Top Gift Basket in Israel Purim Home Basket (Israel Only)	Type: Mishloach Manot - Israel Only	Get from Oh Nuts!
Top Purim Gift Yair Emanuel Wooden Grogger Purim Noisemaker Jerusalem	Type: Purim Gift	Get from JWS

Traditional Mishloach Manot Baskets

Let’s start with some of the most popular & traditional Mishloach Manot basket ideas.

The gift baskets you’re about to see include the famous Purim-themed treats, plus a few surprises that you wouldn’t normally expect to see in a Purim gift basket…

Because let’s face it – who doesn’t love surprises?

Gift Tray with Kosher Hamentaschen & Rainbow Cookies

This traditional Shalach Manot gift tray is a prime example of an impressive, yet relatively affordable Purim package you can send to anyone: whether it’s your family, friends, colleagues, teachers, students… you name it!

The gift tray includes four separate sections filled with different Purim treats:

1. Section 1: Classic black & white cookies
2. Section 2: Apricot Hamantaschen
3. Section 3: Raspberry Hamantaschen
4. Section 4: Rainbow cookies

The best part? It’s nut-free, dairy-free (Pareve), and taste-full!

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Traditional Fruit-filled & Chocolate Purim Gift Basket

Most traditional Purim gift baskets include Hamantaschen; most commonly, poppy seeds and chocolate Hamantaschen.

Therein lies the problem: we don’t want to be the 11th person sending the same old Hamantaschen; we want to be the first ones who send mouth-watering fruit-filled Hamantaschen!

This gourmet gift basket comes with fresh Raspberry Hamantaschen, Apricot Hamantaschen, delicious brownies, and assorted Ruggelach… all wrapped in a beautiful gift box.

Now that’s how you send a traditional Mishloach Manot, but a unique one that stands out – both in looks and taste!

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Kosher Red Square Gift Tray with Chocolate & Halva

The previous Purim baskets are great and all. But they do have one downside: they’re quite small.

What if you’re looking for something fancier for your recipient? What if you’re looking to dazzle them with a Mishloach Manot that is 10x better than any other gift basket they got for Purim? What if you like them to go: “Oh…My…G-d…” the moment they receive their Shalach Manot?

That’s precisely what this extraordinary gift tray was made for: to blow people’s minds.

A remarkable array of goodness, filled with glorious chocolate praline, peanut butter pops, and d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s Halva slices that remind you of Israel… All beautifully packaged in a 12′ x 12′ rustic wooden tray.

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Classy & Elegant Mishloach Manot Ideas

Just because you’re wearing a goofy Purim costume doesn’t mean you should get a goofy gift basket. You’re better off getting a classy Mishloach Manot and leave your wit and creativity to the Purim party.

These elegant Shalach Manot baskets are pure quality… and, as you might expect – they don’t exactly lack quantity either.

Fames Chocolate Elegant Mishloach Manot Purim Set

Feeling particularly generous? I mean, do you want to blow someone’s mind with an out-of-this-world Shalach Manot?

Fames Chocolates is one of the finest chocolatiers in the country (luckily – their chocolates are 100% Kosher, hooray!)

Their stunning chocolate-themed Mishloach Manot set contains not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different premium chocolate treats – each one more delicious (and impressive) than the other.

Different flavors, different fillings, different toppings… a totally different experience.

If there’s such a thing as the ultimate Shalach Manot – then I believe this is it.

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Handmade Chocolate Kosher Purim Platter – Mishloach Manot

This elegant Purim platter is the definition of gourmet. It features an impressive range of handmade, premium chocolate treats.

Want the specifics? Here goes:

• Chocolate covered nut clusters
• Chocolate covered pretzels and cookies
• Chocolate peanut butter cups
• White chocolate wafer bites
• Buttercrunch
• Signature Irish truffles

This is, no doubt, one of the fanciest Mishloach Manot on the list.

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Godiva Assorted Chocolate Gold Gift Box

You can’t talk about classy Mishloach Manot baskets without mentioning Godiva. Godiva’s gift boxes are the embodiment of elegance.

But they’re not just elegant, they’re also delicious beyond belief. If you ever tasted Godiva, you know exactly what I’m talking about (in fact, it’s my favorite chocolate!). If you haven’t – then I only have one question: what the hell are you waiting for?!

I sure hope you’ll be lucky enough to receive a Shalach Manot with at least a few Godiva chocolates this Purim (don’t forget, you can always treat yourself with a yummy Shalach Manot )… But if not, then at least you can redeem someone else who appreciates quality.

100% Kosher. 100% premium. 100% irresistible.

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Unique & Creative Mishloach Manot Ideas

This isn’t your first rodeo Purim, is it? It’s hard to impress you, or any other Jewish adult (kids are easy to impress) who has been through a few Purim festivals in their lifetime…

Hard, but not impossible.

And I’m not talking about getting a crazy Purim costume (you can do that too). Believe it or not, I’m talking about Purim baskets.

Don’t believe me?

Don’t worry, these unique (and original) Mishloach Manot ideas will change that in a minute…

Broadway Basketeers Towering Heights Kosher Gourmet Gift Tower

Looking back, I bet the folks who built the Tower of Babel would’ve preferred a tower of Shalach Manot, filled with delicious chocolates, snacks, sweets, cookies & nuts… don’t you think?

You probably wouldn’t fit through the door carrying this gift tower, but rest assured – whoever receives your cool Mishloach Manot will remember it for years.

And it’s NOT your typical, boring chocolate either: it’s a tower filled with:

• Lindt Truffles
• Milk chocolate Bavarian pretzels
• Blueberry-Greek Yogurt cookies
• Double-Dipped chocolate peanuts
• Milk toffees
• Chocolate chip cookies
• …and many others!

And guess what?

It’s surprisingly cheap, too!

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Milk Chocolate Candy Pieces Chocolate Lovers Popcorn Pizza

I know what you’re thinking:

“What the hell is a Pizza box doing on a post about Mishloach Manot?”

Don’t worry, its not a mistake; rather, its a unique Purim basket for someone with a sense of humor.

Imagine someone handing you a nice little Mishloach Manot gift basket, and you giving them a pizza box in return.

At first, they’ll be shocked… b once they open the pizza box, it’ll suddenly dawn on them that they just received a gourmet candy “pizza” – with milk chocolate crust, popcorn “cheese”, pretzel and chocolate candy pieces (M&M’s style) topping with chocolate drizzled on top.

How can anyone “top” that (insert Pizza topping joke here)?

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Kosher Six Section Wooden Round Gift Tray with Candy

Look closely: there is no Purim-related treat in this gift tray; not a single one.

Instead, this gift tray is about one thing, and one thing only: candy.

The way I see it – if you’d like to wish someone a sweet Purim – give them a sweet gift basket… Not just mildly sweet, put hyper-sweet!

Now, count how many times I mentioned the word ‘sweet’ in the sentence above… Pretty sweet sentence, huh? Well, it doesn’t even come close to this gift tray’s level of sweetness.

Sweet Moses!

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Cute Mishloach Manot Ideas

“Awww. That’s so cute!”

You’d expect to hear someone say that with a cute baby, a cute puppy, or a cute baby playing with a cute puppy.

But a cute Mishloach Manot?

You wait and see my friend…

Purim Nosh Basket

Most traditional Purim packages look pretty much the same: a bunch of chocolates, nuts, a Hamantaschen or two, and maybe a little beverage for good measure.

Not very often do you witness a cute Purim food basket filled with the finest Jewish baked goods: Challah, chocolate Babka, assorted Rugelach, and of course Hamantaschen… ALL Parve.

This gift basket is a breath of fresh air in a world of “me too” baskets (not that kind of “me too”).

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Gourmet Gift Basket Baked Goods Gift

Staying with baked goods… except, this time we’re taking the cookie-route.

Everyone is so hung up on Hamantaschen, chocolates, candy…

Yawn … how much of that stuff can we eat in one day?

Why not get a little creative, and give your Purim gift basket some personality?

How the hell do you give personality to a gift basket, you might wonder? Easy: add plenty of irresistible baked goods into the mix!

• 2 fudge walnut brownies
• Peanut butter brownie
• 2 chocolate chunk brownies
• 2 chocolate chip blondie brownies
• Butterscotch blondie brownie
• 2 oatmeal raisin cookies
• 2 peanut butter cookies
• 4 chocolate chip cookies
• 2 fudge brownie cookies
• 2 lemon sugar cookies
• 2 pecan sandy cookies

Just writing this list of goodies almost made me drool all over my keyboard. Imagine what it’s like eating it?

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Broadway Basketeers Chocolate Photo Gift Box

Chocolate gifts + a personalized photo gift box (maybe of a baby) = c-u-t-e-n-e-s-s!

This unique chocolate photo gift box comes with a wooden keepsake box, filled with 2 meaningful gifts for chocolate lovers:

1. Your photos & memories
2. Delicious chocolate treats & snacks

See? What did I tell you? “Awwww. So cute!”

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Healthy Mishloach Manot Basket Ideas

Believe it or not, you don’t have to visit the dentist after Purim…

Truth is, there are plenty of healthy Shalach Manot baskets that don’t make you feel guilty after every single bite. As much as we all love our love handles, it’s hard to handle them when they grow too big!

I’m here to prove to you that with a little willpower, and with the right gift basket, you can send someone a delightful Shalach Manot that is both yummy and healthy…

12 Variety Nuts in a Modern Wood Gift Tray

You know your recipient is trying to lay off the snacks… so don’t you dare get them a fattening Mishloach Manot! We all know how that’ll turn out:

1. They’ll inhale the chocolates & sweets
2. They’ll feel bad about themselves
3. They’ll blame you for putting on weight

What do you say we avoid that scenario… and instead go for the healthier alternative?

This Mishloach Manot gift basket is ideal for anyone who’s on a diet, or someone who’d rather NOT enter a new diet after Purim (ehm, because someone gave them an unhealthy Shalach Manot, ehm).

It’s fully packed with a huge variety of all-natural, gluten-free, protein-rich nuts & snacks, namely:

• Almonds
• Pistachios
• Cashews
• Mixed nuts
• Raw walnuts
• Pecans

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Holiday Delight Gluten-Free Gift Tower

Purim snacks fall into one of two categories:

1. Tasty snacks
2. Healthy snacks

Rarely do you find snacks that fit both categories… so when that happens – it’s worth paying attention.

Broadway Basketeers managed to find the right balance of tasty AND healthy in their huge, Kosher gift tower. Not only is it gluten-free; it’s also wheat-free, dairy-free, and most importantly – guilt-free!

Now that’s a Kosher Purim gift basket tower you, I, and anyone who’s on a diet can get on board with!

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Hula Delights Deluxe Roasted Nuts Gift Basket

Speaking of diets… if your recipient is trying to lay off the sweets – then go “nuts”!

2 pounds of hand-selected, fresh & delicious nuts, to be exact… including:

• Roasted salted macadamia nuts
• Almonds
• Pistachios
• Cashews
• Mixed nuts
• Raw walnuts
• Honey glazed pecans

Like I said: go NUTS!

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Kosher Certified Tropical Dried Fruit & Nut Spectacular

Boy, that sure was a lot of nuts, wasn’t it? But hey, this is Purim after all… cut em’ some slack, will ya?

I’m not saying you should ruin their diet with candy, chocolates and all sorts of fatty snacks they’ll hate you for (after they finish eating the whole thing). But you could at least throw in some tropical fruits to the mix to make things more “interesting”.

OK, LOTS of tropical fruits!

• Dried Kiwi
• Sliced Mango
• Dried Figs
• Dried Apricots
• Dates
• Dried Pears
• Dried Cranberries
• Dried Plums

Fruit (and roasted pistachios) galore!

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Cheap Purim Gift Baskets

The Mitzvah of Mishloach Manot is about giving, but nowhere does it say you have to go bankrupt when you send out a gift basket to your loved ones. Halakha clearly states we should send at least two items of food to at least one person.

Now… you’d probably want to send more than just two pieces (to avoid being called a cheapskate and all)…

There are wonderful Purim package ideas out there available for a very reasonable price. Here, I’ll show you…

Chocolate Oreo Cookies Gifts Box

I haven’t met a single person who doesn’t love Oreo cookies.

Yes, they’re not exactly Purim-y…

Yes, they’re round, not triangular like Hamantaschen…

None of that matters… what matters is: they’re Kosher, they’re yummy, and most importantly – they’re affordable!

The Oreos come in 12 different flavors, all handcrafted from premium chocolate, nuts, and toppings, and they’re friggin’ delicious!

I think it’s time we publicly declare: gourmet Oreo sandwich cookies = awesome Purim treats!

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Fames Chocolates Kosher Chocolate Purim Mishloach Manot

Earlier in the guide, I included Fames Chocolates’ enormous Purim gift package. Needless to say, if you’re looking for a cheap, simple Mishloach Manot – that clearly isn’t it.

Luckily, it’s not “all or nothing”: you can order one of the premium boxes from Fames Chocolates’ gigantic gift set, for a fraction of the price.

This chocolate-themed Purim gift box is handmade in Brooklyn and arrives with an impressive collection of premium chocolates that melt in your mouth… including:

• Almond patties
• Vanilla hazelnut truffle
• Chocolate caramel
• Nutty chew
• Chocolate fudge
• Raspberry stick
• Mango fruit

It’s a shame that Purim doesn’t come more often, huh?

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Broadway Basketeers Chocolate & Nut Gift Tray

Broadway Basketeers has already made several appearances in this article.

The thing about their Kosher gift baskets is that most of them are incredibly cheap, considering the size of their baskets and the portions included.

I could’ve easily fit all of their baskets in the “affordable gift baskets” section, but that wouldn’t be fair to the other baskets (we wouldn’t want to hurt the chocolate’s feelings, now do we?).

After careful consideration, I decided that their chocolate & nut gift tray deserved a special spot in this section.

The gift tray includes:

• Milk + Dark chocolate Bavarian pretzels
• Milk + Dark chocolate-covered Graham crackers
• Gourmet caramel popcorn
• Yogurt enrobed peanuts
• Assorted milk toffees
• Crème Brulee mix
• Mint sweets

A generous amount of treats, for a surprisingly low price.

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Mishloach Manot – Send to Israel

Just because you’re not physically in Israel, doesn’t mean you can’t send a lovely Mishloach Manot basket to someone you love.

These gift baskets are exclusive to Israel. Just give the order, and they’ll be delivered to their address the very next day!

Purim Home Basket (Israel Only)

Home sweet home.

Unfortunately, you’re not there with them to celebrate Purim together. But the good news is – you can still make their home a sweet one with this yummy Purim gift basket – full of Hamantaschen, rum-balls (yep!), chocolates, cookies, milk pralines, wine (yep, yep!), and peanut chews.

Get from Oh Nuts!

Purim Chocolate, Nuts & Wine Basket (Israel Only)

Let’s get a little bigger and fancier…

And by fancy – I mean Vienesse crunch, caramelized almonds, pistachios, milk praline chocolates – and a sweet bottle of wine.

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Purim Classical Round Sectional Wall Clock Gift Basket

Time is running out… so let’s end this article with one final flash of inspiration.

A classical Purim package that evokes an “Oh… my… G-d” when your recipient opens the door… and sees this phenomenal Mishloach Manot sent from their loved ones in America.

As you might expect – you’ll have to pay a little extra for this one.

Get from Oh Nuts!

Purim Gifts

Purim isn’t all about Mishloach Manot (and costumes), you know? You don’t have to bless (or curse) your recipient with a big basket of sugary treats. Instead, you can get em’ a nice, traditional Purim gift that doesn’t involve gaining a few pounds.

Here are a few examples…

The Koren Five Megillot – Hebrew / English

With all that talk about Mishloach Manot and Purim food baskets, it’s easy to forget that there are other Purim gifts out there besides ones you can chew on.

Take the Megilla reading for example… there ain’t no chewing going on when we read Megillat Esther.

Candy and sweets are of no use to us during that time.

What do we need during the Megillah reading? Two things:

• A copy of the book of Esther
• A grogger (we’ll cover that in a second)

Koren’s hardcover Five Megillot is one of the most popular editions of the Hebrew Megillot… with the 5 Megillot (5 scrolls) of the Ketuvim:

1. Song of Song
2. The Book of Ruth
3. The Book of Lamentations
4. Ecclesiastes
5. The Book of Esther (the book we read in Purim)

It features a new English translation to the Hebrew text, and it’s decorated with over 30 beautiful and vibrant watercolor illustrations by the famous Israeli artist, Leela Ganin… so both adults and kids can enjoy following along while the Rabbi reads the Megillah!

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Yair Emanuel Wooden Grogger – Jerusalem

We all know how much kids (and adults) LOVE blasting the grogger every time the Rabbi or Chazan mentions Haman’s name.

The only problem with those groggers (aside from the fact they become annoying at some point) – you throw them away after Purim is over.

Such a waste…

Legendary Judaica artist, Yair Emanuel, certainly thought so… that’s why he created this epic wooden grogger – with an artistic depiction of Jerusalem (his signature design)

Emanuel is a master of turning mundane things into remarkable pieces of Jewish art… that includes something as simple as a Purim grogger!

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European Floral Garden

Purim flowers, particularly colorful bouquets like this one – are a delightful addition to any Purim holiday table.

This lovely bouquet is filled with bright yellow sunflowers, green poms, pink tulips, and a bunch of other beautiful flowers I can hardly pronounce (here goes: Alstroemeria).

A terrific way to surprise someone you love, decorate your Purim holiday table or add some bright, cheerful colors to your home.

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DIY: What to Put in a Mishloach Manot?

Prefer putting together a Mishloach Manot on your own? In that case, there are a couple of things you need to know.

First, let’s clarify the rules dictated by Jewish Law when it comes to choosing what to put in the Mishloach Manot:

1. Include at least two items: A Mishloach Manot has to include at least two different items. Some Jews are more stringent and include two items that require distinct blessings (although that’s not a Halachic requirement). For example, they might include a piece of fruit (Borei Pri Ha’etz/Ha’adama), and a piece of chocolate (SheHakol)
2. Choose foods that are ready to be consumed. There’s a reason why snacks and wine are so prevalent in Mishloach Manot: they can be consumed immediately. The items you include should be edible/drinkable without requiring any cooking or prep work. In other words, don’t put any weird stuff like a piece of uncooked meat or baking ingredients from your recent grocery shopping.

Pretty straightforward, right?

Now, for the real challenge: what should you put in the Purim gift basket?

First, you’ve got to decide whether you’re creating a themed Purim gift basket, or a generic one.

Themed Purim Gift Baskets

If you’re creating a themed Mishloach Manot, you’d want to include items that align with that theme. For example, if you’re creating a coffee-themed Mishloach Manot – you’d want to include things like ground coffee or instant coffee, coffee-flavored treats, maybe even a small coffee cup and a coffee recipe book.

Popular Mishloach Manot Themes: Here’s a (partial) list of popular Mishloach Manot themes and ideas for your Purim gift basket…

• Coffee
• Tea
• Chocolate
• Candy
• Israel
• Shabbat
• Healthy
• Vegan
• Wine
• Cuisines (Italian food, Chinese food, Israeli food…)
• Sports (Football, Basketball, Baseball, Hockey, Soccer…)
• Colors (Purple, Pink, Teal)
• Animals (Dogs, Cats, Horses…)

Generic Purim Gift Basket

If you’re building a generic Mishloach Manot, you’re essentially including a bit of everything. I included our DIY recommendations below, divided into different categories. Pick and choose the options you like best.

Gift Baskets & Accessories

• Basket or Gift box
• Cellophane bags
• Ribbon

Purim Decorations

• Mask
• Grogger

Food & Drink

• Hamantaschen (prune or chocolate)
• Rugelach
• Chocolates
• Candy
• Cookies
• Snacks
• Fruits
• Nuts
• Coffee
• Tea
• Grape Juice

Conclusion

Purim isn’t just about wearing funny costumes, eating Hamantaschen, and drinking wine at the Purim party…

Purim is about expressing our love and care towards others. We send Mishloach Manot to show compassion, share with our community and bring people closer together.

If this guide helped you find a Shalach Manot that helps you do that, then every minute I spent writing it has been time well spent…

Happy Purim

“I call shotgun! I’m entering the Chuppah first!”

Sorry honey, it doesn’t work that way…

Just like many other traditions, Jewish wedding ceremonies have a traditional processional order. While the order may vary slightly from one Jewish denomination to another (Orthodox vs Conservative vs Reform) or even from one couple to another – most Jewish weddings pretty much follow the same order.

Here’s how it goes…

Which Side Are You On?

Traditionally, the bride stands on the right side of the Chuppah, with her family and bridesmaid either standing behind her or seated in the first row. The groom stands on the left side, with his family and groomsmen behind him or seated in the first row.

While that’s the tradition, these laws aren’t set in stone. There’s no Jewish law mandating who stands where, so feel free to switch sides if one of you prefers one side over the other (compromises, baby! That’s what love is all about!).

The Processional Order

Here’s the processional order common in Jewish weddings:

1. The Rabbi or cantor (stands at the center of the Chuppah)
2. The bride’s grandparents (seated in the first row on the right side)
3. The groom’s grandparents (seated in the first row on the left side)
4. Groomsmen, in pairs
5. Best man, by himself
6. The groom, escorted by his parents (his mother on the right and his father on the left). The groom stands on the left side of the Chuppah
7. Bridesmaids, in pairs
8. Maid of honor, alone
9. Ring bearer and/or flower girl
10. The bride, escorted by her parents (her mother on the right and her father on the left). The bride stands on the right side of the Chuppah
11. The bride stops in the middle of the aisle. The groom then walks towards the bride, acknowledges his future in-laws, and escorts the bride to the Chuppah.

The Recessional Order

Traditionally, there is also a recessional order. It follows almost the same order as the procession (with a few minor changes), only reversed:

1. The bride and groom
2. The bride’s parents
3. The groom’s parents
4. The bride’s grandparents
5. The groom’s grandparents
6. Maid of honor
7. Bridesmaids and groomsmen
8. The Rabbi

While the recessional order sounds nice on paper, not many Jewish weddings follow this practice. What happens instead, is when the groom breaks the glass, guests often rush to the Chuppah to congratulate the couple and the Chuppah. Good luck pulling off a recessional order when that happens…

Conclusion

Most Jewish weddings follow the processional order I described above.

Some couples may modify it slightly out of necessity (if for example, the groom’s grandparents are deceased), but for the most part – Jewish couples follow the same process.

Why reinvent the wheel, when the wheel has proven to spin reliably for so many generations?

Couples are better off spending their time and energy on the things that matter. And thankfully, there’s no shortage of important things to take care of when planning your Jewish wedding.

Mazel Tov

Who signs the Ketubah?

The funny thing is, you’ll get a different answer depending on who you ask…

• Orthodox Jews will tell you one thing
• Conservative Jews will tell you another
• Reform Jews will say something else entirely

As the old joke goes: two Jews, three opinions.

But who’s “right”? (SPOILER: It’s not a question of “right” or “wrong”)

In this post, we’ll demystify it once and for all… we’ll walk through the Ketubah signing process, the witness requirements according to each group, and most importantly – who you should choose as your witness?

Who Signs the Ketubah?

Traditionally, only the witnesses are required to sign the Ketubah.

But recently, it has become increasingly common for the Rabbi, and even the bride and groom to sign the Ketubah as well – particularly in Reform and Interfaith/secular weddings.

This leads us to the most burning question: who qualifies as a witness?

Ketubah Witness Requirements

According to Jewish law, a witness has to meet the following requirements to be able to sign the Ketubah:

1. Jewish: In Orthodox communities, they have to be observant Jewish as well. Certain Reform Rabbis may also accept a non-Jewish witness.
2. Male: In Reform, Reconstructionist, and even some Conservative communities, women are also accepted.
3. Adult: The witness has to be above the age of Bar/Bat Mitzvah – 13+ for men and 12+ for women (13+ in Reform communities)
4. Not biologically related to the couple. Some Reform communities are more lenient with this requirement.

Here it is in a table for you visual folks:

	Orthodox	Conservative	Reform	Interfaith or Secular
Ethnicity	Jewish (observant Jews)	Jewish	Jewish (sometimes non-Jews are allowed)	No requirements
Gender	Male	Male (sometimes Females as well)	No requirements	No requirements
Age	13 and older	13 and older	13 and older	No requirements
Relationship to the couple	Not biologically related	Not biologically related (some are more lenient)	No requirements (some are more strict)	No requirements

Who Should You Choose as Your Witness?

Knowing who can sign the Ketubah is the easy part. Choosing who will sign the Ketubah is the hard part.

Choosing one person (the bride and groom usually pick one each) means not choosing many others. That means potentially offending quite a few people.

That’s one of the good things about the strict Ketubah signing rules: they disqualify many candidates for you. That’s a huge weight off your shoulders right there…

But for many couples, that’s not enough… there are still many friends whom you’d like to honor, but unfortunately, you can only choose one.

So how do you choose “the one”? (and I’m not talking about your spouse… too late for that!)

For some of you, the answer might be obvious. For others, picking one witness sounds like an impossible task. 

If you belong to the latter group – here are a few questions you can ask yourself that’ll help you decide when choosing your witness:

• Who is your best friend? Or, to put it in teenager lingo: who’s your BFF?

• Which friend would you like to cherish for all that they’ve done for you? Who has been there for you through the good times and the bad?

• Which of your friends have you known the longest? While duration alone doesn’t necessarily indicate a good friendship, many of our great friendships are the ones that go “way back”.

• Which friend would you like to stay in touch with “forever”? Friends come and go; that’s the reality of life. But the best friendships are ones you’d like to keep “forever”. Picking that person as your witness speaks volumes, and makes it more likely that you’ll stay “best friends forever”.

• Who is going through a hard time? Do you know someone who’s gone through a rough time lately? Someone you’d like to put a smile on their face? Someone who could use a few acts of kindness? This question might not apply to most people, but it’s a great one to consider if you know someone who fits this description.

The Ketubah Signing Process

Traditionally, the Ketubah signing ceremony takes place at the Tisch, before the wedding ceremony. The groom is accompanied by his Rabbi, the two witnesses signing the Ketubah, and the groom’s close (male) friends and family members.

In non-Orthodox weddings, it’s common for both the bride and groom to attend the Ketubah signing.

The Ketubah signing process goes like this:

1. The Rabbi initiates the Ketubah signing by first reviewing the Ketubah to make sure it’s valid.
2. The groom then agrees to take on the responsibility of providing for his wife, as stated in the Ketubah.
3. The Rabbi hands the groom a handkerchief. The groom raises the handkerchief in front of the two witnesses – a sign of consent and acceptance of his responsibilities, as stated in the Ketubah. He then returns the handkerchief it to the Rabbi
4. The Rabbi completes the Kinyan Chalipin (also known as Kinyan Sudar) – a symbolic form of transaction that doesn’t involve currency – by adding the Aramaic word v’kanina (or “transaction completed”) to the Ketubah
5. The two witnesses sign the Ketubah to finalize the process and confirm that the groom has accepted the agreement (In non-Orthodox communities, the bride and groom sometimes sign the Ketubah as well)

Once the Ketubah is signed, it is put aside until the wedding ceremony starts.

At the ceremony, the Rabbi reads the Ketubah right after the first stage of the wedding ceremony (Kiddushin) and before the start of the second stage (Nissuin). The groom then publicly agrees to take on the responsibilities mentioned in the Ketubah.

After the Ketubah reading is over, the Ketubah is passed on to a family member (often the bride’s mother) who keeps it safe until the end of the wedding.

Conclusion

The Ketubah signing ceremony is one of the most meaningful parts of the Jewish wedding ceremony. It’s a moment the couple, and their witnesses – never forget. 

But knowing who can sign the Ketubah is only half the battle (and it’s the easy half, too). The other half is choosing your witness… which, I’m afraid, is a decision you’ll have to make all by yourself.

To quote Morpheus from The Matrix: “I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.”

Consider this guide to be your “door”. The rest, my friend, is up to you.

Mazel Tov

There are some marvelous Ketubah designs out there, no question about that.

But what if you want to keep it simple? What if you don’t need all the bells and whistles? What if you don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a fancy Ketubah? 

Well, then you’re in the right place… because on this page, you’ll be able to download your preferred Ketubah text…  free of charge.

Traditional Ketubah Text (Aramaic) – Rabbinical Council of America – Ashkenazi Version

The traditional Ketubah is written in Aramaic – the common language used at the time the Ketubah was formed. 

This version belongs to the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA), and is commonly used by Orthodox Jews (and many Conservative Jews).

Traditional Ketubah Text (Aramaic) – Sephardic Version

Conservative Ketubah Text (Aramaic) + Lieberman Clause

Conservative Jews commonly use the traditional Ketubah text, modified with an additional clause – The Lieberman Clause.

The Lieberman Clause is designed to protect the wife from getting stuck in a marriage (“Agunah”), due to the husband’s inability or unwillingness to grant his wife a ‘get’ (divorce bill).

The added clause states that if the couple files for divorce, they both agree to appear before a designated Beit Din of the Rabbinical Assembly (RA) and of the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, who has the authority to settle the divorce as they see fit (even by requiring the husband to grant his wife a ‘get’).

Hebrew Ketubah Text

The Hebrew Ketubah text is sometimes used as a supplement to the traditional Ketubah (particularly in Israel).

English Ketubah Text

Like the Hebrew version, the English Ketubah text is used to supplement the Aramaic Ketubah (some couples use it as a replacement).

Reform Ketubah Text

Reform and liberal couples are more lenient when it comes to their Ketubah wording. They modify it, rewrite it, make it more Egalitarian… Some couples even add an emotional touch to it (let’s face it – there isn’t a whole lot of emotion in the traditional Ketubah).

Reform couples use the Ketubah as an opportunity to express their love for one another, share stories, or even add their own wedding vows to it.

As you might expect – there is no “one size fits all” Reform or Reconstructionist Ketubah text that couples just grab “off the shelf”.

That can either be a good thing or a bad thing.

1. On the one hand, it gives you the ultimate creative freedom to modify the Ketubah as you see fit
2. On the other hand, too much freedom can be paralyzing.

That’s exactly why I included a Reform/Egalitarian Ketubah template. Feel free to modify it as you see fit!

Secular Ketubah Text

Secular and progressive Ketubah texts are even more lenient than Reform Ketubahs.

Most couples who choose a secular Ketubah have no religious affiliation. In many cases, the officiant may not even be Jewish.

Just like Reform couples, secular or interfaith couples sometimes use the original Ketubah as a starting point, or they rewrite their own version completely from scratch.

If you prefer the latter approach – here’s an interfaith/secular Ketubah template you can use… you know, so you don’t have to face that dreaded blank page :).

Anniversary Ketubah Text

Celebrating the wedding anniversary with an anniversary Ketubah… who said romance is dead?

Anniversary Ketubahs are a special way to commemorate a special moment. Not only is it a unique Jewish anniversary gift, but it’s also an excellent way to celebrate such a huge milestone and important milestone.

Conclusion

Congratulations! You just found your Jewish marriage contract

If you’re still unsure which version you need – feel free to bookmark, pin, or save this page so you can easily return to it in the future… you know, so you don’t have to go running around the internet like a headless chicken looking for the right Ketubah version…

Mazel Tov!

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When you’re busy planning your wedding in full throttle, the last thing on your mind is “gee, I should probably get my Ketubah framed”.

And you’re right – compared to the bigger wedding arrangements (like the wedding dress, food, seating arrangements, etc’), framing a Ketubah seems like a minuscule thing, doesn’t it?

Heck, a naive bride might even think: “Pfff, a Ketubah frame? Who the hell needs that?”

That is until your Ketubah is knocked over at the wedding ceremony, someone spills some Kiddush wine on it, or your 8-year-old cousin touches the Ketubah with his greasy hands from the Schnitzel he just ate…

That’s when you realize: “Gee, I wish would’ve framed my Ketubah” …

Moral of the story? Don’t neglect the little things, if the little things can come back and bite you in the as*.

So today, we’re going to apply that moral and learn how to frame your Ketubah properly

To Frame or Not to Frame?

Before you swipe your credit card and add to your looming wedding expenses, ask yourself: “Do I really need to frame my Ketubah?”

That depends:

• Are you planning on displaying it at the wedding ceremony?
• Are you planning on displaying it in your home later?
• Do you even care? Or is the Ketubah just another item on your To-Do list?

If the answers to the questions above are a resounding ‘No’, then… Why bother?

Jewish tradition doesn’t mention anything about fancy Ketubah designs or custom Ketubah frames. As the old (cliche) saying goes: “It’s what inside that counts”.

In this case – the “inside” is the Ketubah itself. You can get a nice-looking Ketubah (or even print one yourself for free), without jumping through all the hoops and frames (pun intended). Plus, you’ll be saving a lot of money.

That being said, if you feel uncomfortable leaving your Ketubah completely “exposed”, you can get a simple frame without shelling out hundreds of dollars on a custom Ketubah frame (more on that later).

On the other hand, if you answered ‘Yes’ to the questions I raised above – then framing the Ketubah it is!

Now, to the big question…

How (and When) to Frame the Ketubah?

If you’re planning on displaying the Ketubah at the wedding, the best way is to mat and frame the Ketubah before the wedding and strip out the glass cover. That way, you can display the Ketubah on an easel at the Kabbalat Panim before it is signed by the witnesses. Once the Ketubah is signed and the ink has dried (even better – use a fade-resistant pen), you can add the glass back on.

This solution also prevents awkward situations where the local framer accidentally covers important parts of the Ketubah (like the signatures, oy vey!) with a mat. Turns out not everyone knows what a Ketubah is… who knew?

Another option is to have the framer put the Ketubah a foam core backing as a temporary solution for the ceremony, and later frame it if you plan on displaying it at your home.

How Much Does it Cost to Frame a Ketubah?

You’ve got several options when framing your Ketubah:

1. A simple frame
2. A custom frame
3. A combination of the two (simple frame for the ceremony, custom frame for the home)

Let’s look at each of these options…

Simple Frame

A simple frame (like this one) isn’t fancy, but it’s cheap, and it gets the job done. A simple frame should cost you anywhere from $15-$35, depending on the size of your Ketubah.

If you’re not planning to display the Ketubah at the ceremony (or at your home), then a simple frame will work just fine.

Custom Frame

In case you haven’t framed any artwork before, you’re in for a BIG surprise…

Let me put it bluntly: custom framing is friggin’ expensive!

How expensive, you ask?

It depends on a variety of factors, such as size, material, color, matting style, quality, and most importantly – the supplier.

If you make a few phone calls to local custom framers in your area, it won’t take you long to realize: 1) framing a Ketubah is friggin’ expensive (did I mention that already?), and 2) prices vary enormously between one supplier and another.

For a medium-sized Ketubah (20’ x 20’), don’t be surprised if you get quoted with prices ranging anywhere from $400 to $800 or even higher. That’s right, you’re likely to pay more for the frame than the Ketubah (!).

A cheaper alternative is to go with an online framing company like Framebridge. It’s significantly cheaper than most local framers, and the quality is just as good (if not better).

You simply mail them your frame-less Ketubah (for free) or upload your Ketubah artwork, and you’ll receive your framed Ketubah a week later. The best part? It’ll cost you a fraction of the price you would’ve paid at a local framer.

Just to give you an idea, here’s how much framing a Ketubah will (approximately) cost you:

• Framing a budget Ketubah (12’ x 12’) will cost you approximately $99.
• Framing a small Ketubah (16’ x 16’) will cost you approximately $145.
• Framing a medium Ketubah (20’ x 20’) will cost you approximately $179.
• Framing a large Ketubah (24’ x 24’) will cost you approximately $179.

Bottom line? If you want a custom frame for your Ketubah for a fraction of the price you’d pay a local framer, and you don’t mind shipping the Ketubah (for free) to their design shop, then Framebridge is an absolute steal.

Simple Frame + Custom Frame

The third option is pretty straightforward: use a simple frame before the wedding, and a custom frame after the wedding.

This option is great because it allows you to protect your Ketubah during the ceremony, without spending too much time (and money) before the wedding worrying about a custom frame for the Ketubah. That’s one less thing on your mind, right there.

Again, the only downside with this approach is that a simple frame doesn’t look nearly as impressive compared to a custom frame. But if that’s a sacrifice you’re willing to make, then this option is worth considering.

Conclusion

When a couple is busy planning their wedding, they don’t consider framing their Ketubah a top priority. Why would they? They’ve got tons of other seemingly more important things to worry about…

But if you think about it – the Ketubah is one of the few wedding keepsakes that couples keep from their wedding day. And they don’t just keep it stashed up in the basement; they display it in their home, often for the rest of their lives.

All of a sudden, a Ketubah frame sounds rather important, don’t you think?

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that framing your Ketubah should be the first thing on your ToDo list. But it shouldn’t be the last one, either…

Take the time to choose a nice and affordable frame for your Ketubah. It’s worth it.

Mazel Tov

“Why is everyone staring at me?”

• “… Is it what I’m wearing?”
• “… Is it the wedding gift I picked?”
• “… Is it something I said?”

Hear that?

That’s the sound of our inner voice living out our biggest fear: embarrassing ourselves in public.

Every time we attend an event for the very first time (like a Jewish wedding), we risk making complete fools of ourselves. We risk offending someone. We risk messing up… badly.

That’s exactly why I wrote this Jewish wedding guide: to help guests not only survive, but thrive, and have a great ol’ time at their first Jewish wedding! (and save them from public embarrassment )

By the time you finish reading this guide, you’ll learn what you should wear, what gift to bring, what to say, what to do… and most importantly – what NOT to do.

Ready?

Let’s begin…

Jewish Wedding Attire: What to Wear?

Let’s tackle the most common question right off the bat: what should you wear?.

Jewish weddings have a formal dress code (unless mentioned otherwise).

What does formal mean, you ask?

The short (and annoying) answer is: it depends…

• What branch of Judaism does the couple belong to? Are they Orthodox? Conservative? Reform?
• How fancy is the wedding venue? Is it a fancy event hall with 500 people, or an intimate ceremony at the synagogue?
• Where is the wedding ceremony taking place? In Israel, for example, a formal dress code is more lenient compared to weddings in the US or Europe. You could easily get away with wearing jeans and a Polo shirt and no one would raise an eyebrow. Do that anywhere else – and you’ll notice plenty of eyebrows raising in astonishment.

Attire for Men

For men, a tuxedo or a suit is the appropriate attire for guests. Black tie is usually optional (unless explicitly mentioned in the invitation). If you’re not a “tux guy”, then at the very least wear a buttoned shirt with long sleeves.

Men are also expected to wear a Kippah, at least during the wedding ceremony. Kippah (or “yarmulke”) is the small “hat” worn by Jewish men in religious ceremonies and prayers (some men also wear it as part of their day-to-day dress).

If you’re not Jewish, or if you don’t have a Kippah within reach – don’t worry. Odds are they’ll give away Kippot when you arrive at the event hall. In fact, many couples often give guests personalized Kippot as a Jewish wedding favor or souvenir.

Attire for Women

For women, it’s a bit more tricky.

Guests attending a traditional Jewish wedding are expected to dress modestly. Tzniut (modesty) is a key principle in Judaism – and it also reflects how women dress in public.

How modest? That depends on the type of Jewish wedding you’re attending.

• Orthodox Jewish Wedding: In Orthodox Jewish weddings, the appropriate attire for women is long dresses or skirts (without slits) that fall below the knee while covering their shoulders and elbows and pantyhose (or stockings). Married women are also expected to cover their hair.
• Modern Orthodox Jewish Wedding: Modern Orthodox Jews also dress modestly, but they’re often more lenient when it comes to the length of the dress, sleeve length and hair covers.
• Conservative Jewish Wedding: Although still leaning towards modest – dress codes in conservative Jewish weddings are less strict. 
• Reform Jewish Wedding: Reform Jews have no specific dress code requirements.

Also, be wary of the color of your dress. Avoid wearing bright colors, especially white. White is a big no-no in all weddings, not just Jewish (at least the ones where the bride is dressed in white). Dark dresses (including black) are the preferred choice, especially in Orthodox Jewish weddings.

The last thing you want to do is “stealing” the bride’s attention with a white dress of your own.

Here’s a table I made that clarifies just how much “flesh” is acceptable to reveal, depending on the type of Jewish wedding you’re attending…

Jewish Wedding Gift Etiquette: What to Give?

As a guest, there are two types of acceptable Jewish wedding gifts you can bring:

1. Gift (as in, a physical gift)
2. Money

Which gift is more appropriate? Again, the short (and annoying) answer is – it depends…

(don’t worry, I always give the longer, complete answer after every “it depends” )

Gift

Gifts are the common choice in most Jewish weddings in America, Europe and the UK (the UK technically left the EU, so…).

That’s good news for you.

Why?

Because newlywed Jewish couples (especially traditional couples) need more things than the average non-Jewish couple. Aside from the obvious gifts, they also require things like Judaica, Shabbat items, Kosher appliances, and other “Jewish stuff” for their new home. 

Some couples have a wedding registry (which makes it easier). But even if they don’t, there’s no shortage of excellent Jewish wedding gift ideas you can choose from.

Money

Money is a perfectly acceptable gift, especially if you don’t know the couple very well, or if you’re attending a wedding where the money is the expected gift etiquette (such as Israel).

If you decided to go with a cash gift, make sure it’s in multiples of $18 (instead of $100, give $108, etc’). In Jewish numerology, the number 18 translates to “Chai” (Hebrew for “life”) – a symbol of a long and healthy life.

So… Gift or Money?

What’s the verdict? Should you go with money or a gift?

The answer depends on several factors:

• Where is the wedding taking place? In some countries (like the US, Canada, and the UK) wedding gifts are more common than cash gifts, while in other countries (like Israel and Australia) the opposite is true.
• Does the couple have a wedding gift registry? If they do, they’ve made the job easier on you – they told you what they need… so you can just buy them something off the registry.
• How well do you know the couple? If you barely know them – then perhaps money is the safer choice. But if it’s someone you know well or someone close to you – you may want to consider a wedding gift. Wedding gifts are far more personal than cash gifts.
• What did they give you for your wedding? Whether they gave you money or a gift, it makes sense to reciprocate in kind.

Bottom Line: before you stick dollar bills in an envelope or buy the couple a set of fancy kitchenware – make sure it’s an appropriate wedding gift that fits the occasion, the couple, and your relationship with the couple.

Jewish Wedding Wishes & Blessings: What to Say?

The most common blessing in Jewish weddings is “Mazel Tov” (Hebrew for “good luck” or “congratulations”).

You’ll hear it (and say it) everywhere:

1. When you enter the Kabbalat Panim
2. When you write a wedding card
3. When the groom breaks the glass

You can’t overuse “Mazel Tov” at Jewish weddings.

Another common blessing you’ll hear thrown a lot at Jewish weddings is “L’Chaim” (“to life” in Hebrew). Again, if you attended a Jewish holiday or a Jewish event in your lifetime – you probably heard this one before.

It’s the blessing Jews use after toasts. And let me tell ya – there are a LOT of toasts at Jewish weddings… (no drinking and driving, boys!)

Jewish Wedding Invitation Etiquette: How and When to Respond?

If your wedding invitation mentions several starting times – don’t worry, that’s not a typo. Some couples mention the starting time for each stage of the Jewish wedding (others choose to include one to avoid confusion):

1. The Kabbalat Panim (the pre-wedding reception)
2. The wedding ceremony (the Chuppah)
3. The reception (dining and dancing)

At the very least – make sure you arrive on time for the wedding ceremony (although I strongly recommend attending the Kabbalat Panim… I’ll explain why in a second).

When you receive the invitation, try to RSVP as soon as possible so the couple can plan the seating arrangements accordingly (and try to avoid bringing more people than you RSVPed for).

Jewish Wedding Etiquette & Behavior: What to Do (and What Not to Do)?

You finally arrive at the wedding…

Now what?

Everything seems so foreign, you have no clue what is going on…

Relax! Here’s a brief overview of what you should expect at a Jewish wedding. This will help you navigate the event (you know, so you don’t do something inappropriate)…

The Kabbalat Panim (The Pre-Wedding Reception)

When Jewish wedding first-timers first hear about the Kabbalat Panim, they often interpret it as “oh, that doesn’t sound too important… I’ll just skip that part and arrive straight for the ceremony”.

Big mistake!

Do that – and odds are that you’ll be missing out on a whole lot of action (especially if it’s an Ashkenazi wedding):

• The Chatan’s Tisch (or “Choson’s Tisch” in Yiddish). This is where the groom’s friends and his family gather together for a pre-wedding toast to congratulate, bless, praise and “tease” him a bit (all in good spirit).
• The Ketubah signing. The Ketubah (the Jewish marriage contract) is signed at the Tisch (at least in Ashkenazi weddings).
• The Badeken: The veiling of the bride.

As you can see, the Kabbalat Panim isn’t just about eating Hummus and having small talk with your friends from 9th grade. It’s more… A LOT more. And if you want to be a part of it – then pretend you’re Swiss for the night, and be punctual.

Tip: Avoid offering the bride or groom a drink or snack during the Kabbalat Panim. Some Jewish couples fast on their wedding day and are only permitted to eat after the wedding ceremony.

The Wedding Ceremony (The Chuppah)

Finally, we arrive at the moment of truth: the Jewish wedding ceremony.

The Jewish wedding ceremony is divided into two parts: the Kiddushin (“betrothal”) and the Nissuin (“marriage”), both of which take place under the Chuppah.

The Chuppah is the famous canopy under which Jewish couples get married. The wedding canopy consists of four poles (that are either fixed to the ground or held by people) and a cloth or a large Tallit that covers the top of the canopy. The cover is a symbol of God’s presence and protection over the Jewish couple.

Tip: While “Chuppah” technically refers to the famous Jewish wedding canopy, many people use the term to describe the wedding ceremony itself. So if someone asks “are you coming to the Chuppah?”, what they’re really asking is “are you coming to the wedding ceremony?”

Before you rush off to take a seat – make sure you’re aware of the type of seating arrangements.

In Orthodox weddings, seating is usually separated, with a divider sitting in between the men’s and women’s sitting area. If that’s the case, be respectful and don’t “cross the border” (insert Trump joke here).

Note: Modern Orthodox weddings may be more lenient: some couples may combine the seating, but separate the dancing. Others may combine the seating only during the Chuppah, but then have separated seating during the dancing, etc’. 

Many Ashkenazi couples hold their Chuppah outside under the open sky, assuming the weather permits it. This isn’t really a “thing” in Sephardic circles, although some couples may still choose an outside Chuppah as a personal preference.

Tip: If the Chuppah is held outside during wintertime (or if it’s “always winter” where you live) – make sure to bring a jacket, sweater or cardigan to keep yourself warm during the ceremony.

The first stage of the wedding, Kiddushin (betrothal), starts with a glass of wine. The Rabbi then recites the betrothal blessings, after which the couple drinks from the Kiddush cup.

Finally, the groom places the ring on the bride’s forefinger, after declaring:

“Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel”.

After which, the attendees respond with:

מקודשת, מקודשת מקודשת

(Betrothed, Betrothed, Betrothed)

The couple is now officially engaged, Mazel Tov!

But wait, there’s more!

Next, the Rabbi reads the Ketubah out loud – a reminder of the groom’s obligation to provide for his wife… before moving on to the second stage of the wedding ceremony: Nissuin (marriage).

In the Nissuin stage, the Rabbi recites the Seven Blessings over the second cup of wine. In some cases, he might invite other family members to recite some of the blessings (or have them recite the English version of the blessing).

At the end of the seven blessings, the bride and groom drink the second cup of wine to complete the wedding ceremony… But not before the groom smashes the glass!

The Rabbi places a glass on the floor, asks the groom to recite a few blessings, and then the groom stomps on the glass with all his might! To which the crowd responds with “Mazel Tov!”.

The Reception

It’s party time!

While Jewish wedding receptions have many things in common with other weddings, there are a few important differences you should be aware of…

1. Dancing: Dancing at Jewish weddings is unlike anything you’ve experienced before (trust me). You’ll discover all sorts of interesting songs and dances, such as the famous Hora dance (see image above).

Tip: In Orthodox weddings, the dancing is separated for men and women.

And that’s just the traditional Jewish dances… wait till you see the variety of cultural dances in Jewish weddings!

2. Eating & Drinking: The food served in Jewish weddings is Kosher (levels of certifications may vary depending on the couple).

The type of food being served can also vary significantly, depending on the couple’s ethnic origin,  and dietary choices.

3. Blessings: Once the meal is over, the guests (the ones who are still there, anyway) are invited to participate in Birkat Hamazon (grace after meals).

Guests will often receive Benchers – tiny booklets with the Birkat Hamazon and other songs printed in them, so they can follow along and read the blessings. In many cases, these Benchers will be personalized and given away as souvenirs (free gifts, yay!).

Finally, the leader of the blessings recites the blessing over wine, pours the wine from the two glasses into another glass for the bride and groom to drink from.

Conclusion

According to Jewish law, bringing joy to the bride and groom on their wedding day is considered a tremendous Mitzvah:

(מצוה גדולה לשמח חתן וכלה ולרקוד בפניהם, ושכר המצוה גדול מאד. (ילקוט יוסף, חופה וקיד’ עמ’ רנח

“[It’s a] Big Mitzvah to rejoice and dance with the bride and groom, and the rewards for the Mitzvah are extraordinarily large” (Yalkut Yosef, Chuppah & Kiddushin, page 258)

That’s right – by drinking and dancing your socks off at the couple’s wedding, you’re fulfilling an important Jewish commandment! 

Now that you know what to wear, what gift to bring (or how much), and what to say… you can put your heart and soul into fulfilling the Mitzvah! 

Mazel Tov