i am running out of new monsters since touching up module 1 and then trying to draw the interior zones. i still have three more and i don’t like that every inn for example on every inn square in all five town zones have the exact same picture but if i need to make more i should save that for after making just one.
and apparently i hardly wrote anything about these when i put them on paytreon a month ago so there is nothing to adapt for here. moraff took the four worst drawn monsters he owned and stuck them in the same location, nothing else needs to be said, which in an ideal circumstance would prevent me from saying anything else.
eyeball
has been here before and looks overjoyed to be returning. initially i was drawing the dark grey hairs or small spikes like the original (actually floating OFF of it slightly) has, and then i considered they might be meant as eye lashes and credited artist rodney page just didn’t know where those were supposed to go.
flesh eater
this inadvertently resembles some of the early 1980s interpretations of pacman but ideally this will have fewer cartoons and novelty music albums based on it
foot stomper
this looks like a lot of effort just to stomp on my feet with your dumb yellow boots but maybe it can’t do a whole lot else
face of death
star of a dubious 1980s film series of narrated ostensible actual deaths. they must have made a lot of money
oh apparently there was a remake recently. ]]>
regarding section 10:
monster 1 khagistol
i finally got a decent muscle reference for this. though the arms may be too thick for the “stop hitting yourself” motion to be apparent.
then later i decided i still liked the original pose so thought i would base the shadow version on that, and try to make it seem more serious since the regular is being absurd, but it still looks quite silly and i really didn’t like the orange heads on green bodies. i considered making one all green and one all orange, but which? maybe i should just give it orange hands also like the more changed one. and then nothing here looks particularly shadowy.
monster 2 flaming idiot
this that i was so dreading turned out to not be a big deal once i decided to treat it as facing forward rather than away; the original musculature was so bad that i couldn’t tell and feared the worst. i only had difficulty choosing a pose, and with the fire and flesh colors being too similar, hence it now being blue. there are of course natural flesh tones that aren’t light beigy but i probably shouldn’t start doing that on monsters whose names are insults. And then any other monster design and or label in this game could also be interpreted as insulting.
monster 3 triop
as noted almost last month, the game recycles parts from the preceding game’s ogre and werewolf a few times, and then uses the preceding game’s ogre and werewolf anyway. so since i will need to draw a werewolf eventually i changed the werewolf head into what was initially possibly meant to be an armadillo’s but it quickly looked like a generic dromedary so i kept that. the third head looks like a dope and that may be undesirable. in general but also because the arm it has doing a dope appropriate action is too muscular. muscular people being stupid is a long standing stereotype but even the loudest dumb oaf needs to be slightly less dumb than dopes in order to use the right amount of steroids to not hurt themselves or at get someone else to handle the dosage, and also avoid getting caught breaking laws that every other idiot they know is also breaking. a dope is too dumb to comprehend that, though this creature is certainly breaking laws of perspective to have the other end of the spike ball chain be that much smaller without having receded into the background. there is definitely stupid stuff happening year, i just do not know that it is dope-unworthy.
monster 4 mummy
this did not turn out too badly considering what i originally wanted to do with it, which was to model it after one of those bandage-masked “patriot front” creeps who brought all their flags to washington dc a few weeks ago.
so i tried to do a “normal” bandage mummy but still wanted to give it sunglasses, maybe due to the clothed appearance of the title character in “the invisible man.” then i saw a picture of a peruvian mummy that appeared like it was restrained with ropes and screaming in agony prior to death, which is awful to think about but makes this cartoon interpretation of a mummy potentially scarier, but i wondered why i wanted to make the mouth like that or give it horns, and i eventually remembered that anima from final fantasy 10 resembles an enormous suffering restrained mummy. whoopth. the horns and spikes might be excessive here but i gave beast ears and a tail to the wraith so this did not seem initially out of order.
but i remember even longer ago finding bibendum, the michelin tire company mascot, pretty scary without it trying to be. and not even the original version with opaque glasses and no apparent eyes, just the cartoon one i would see on unlit signage at car repair joints when coming home from quassy amusement park at night. the asterix cameo was always especially bizarre to me since this one is about one eighth the size i imagined that thing being, which only happened because it was drawn over a french character who makes more sense in the context but that english language readers would be presumed unfamiliar with (unlike high amount of Latin quotations or any part of Asterix in Corsica) though i understand more recent printings of the english books have reverted to that character anyway
There are twenty sections to the game so theoretically this is half way done. But only theoretically because i have not sorted out the custom non-monster scenery for every area. I do not worry about being able to do any of this, only how long it will take. multi-headed monsters somehow take much longer than single-headers, and up to now there have been
watery grave[ya]rd
shedemon mermaids
squishy cube
hyrdra
then both khagistols, and triop today. after this, only chimera in section 14 remains on that front. borfo i don’t have any more-than-one-headed/bodied characters in my own comparative effort-level projects. i wonder if this is an unusually large amount for a computer game or if i am just sheltered on this topic. i hope the dungeon can forgive me. Then section 11’s monsters were so easy to draw that they took me less time than writing this web page did so i truly do not know what to expect.
ah ha next i need to redraw the town facility screens. There are six and of them and all have weird stuff going on. i have made some progress on this one, but what IS that on the lower right? specific objects or just lumps of metal? Why is there dirt all over the floor? does the cyclops have legs? ]]>
millions are watching. watching me? is this a tv show about real time police state surveillance or have the other four guys from nsync just rebranded to seem more edgy? what was the point of making a big fuss over abruptly canceling cops because it glorified police violence if this is what it looks like it is? Was the problem with the cops that their egos weren’t big enough?
in fact it looks like cops wasn’t really ever cancelled at all, just moved around, like a child-molesting priest.
what a gang of scheming pdphiles
it seems like “on patrol” is in fact a legally-distinct show that was ALSO pretend cancelled for media clout and then quickly resumed again and the resumed version has been going longer than the cancelled one had.
and also apparently the resumed one was not official and was the target of a lawsuit by the a&e network alleging that it was pretending to be a renewal of the cancelled series and that a&e alone had the right to renew it, thereby emphasizing that the cancellation was more for than of show. What else do you have to show me?
yes that seems like a reasonable request. surely the man standing in front of a fascist flag is reasonable
please don’t threaten our precious children with your scary future gloves, just maim and kill them the old fashioned way as god intended
to be “fair” i would trust in the purported relative harmlessness of these gloves better without the with-us-or-against-us flag in the example picture but there is no indication that this unnamed “jailer” in kentucky knew the gloves were being used on schools in other states. i don’t even have proof that is his own hand wearing the glove. he may have cut off someone else’s and is grasping the hand just below the camera’s view.
it reminds me of the brutal cartoon i watched a few days ago “Mad Bull 34” about a outrageously corrupt police officer who murders suspects, usually black people, into unrecognizability rather than arresting them while his partner gradually changes from being appalled to covering up that it occurs. Foremost because that is the last police-related event in my life, since the live pd bit above was actually cut out of last year’s update when i realized i was in that moment more angry about corporate mediocrity than government agents who brutalize their own citizens, but there is no reason those have to be separate. But Mad Bull 34 features a section where the dork partner does nothing but drink copyright infringing sodee pop while Mad Bull fornicates with and steals money from every prostitute in town and it is the least retrospectively damning thing in the whole cartoon. it is funny in how horrible the main character is and presumably based on a perception of american police as unaccountable racist gangsters. The manga supposedly even more obvious in its racism, and i wasn’t very surprised to see mad bull mentioned when i looked up “racist anime” without specifying what anime i had just watched. And this cartoon was released in 1990, two years before riots against racist police violence in Los Angeles made that a national story again. This is just what americans look like, even though i understand that japanese prisons are scarier than american ones, or were at least until prisoner labor was made no longer mandatory in 2025.
meepwhile back in 1993 Sierra put the name of the police officer most associated with the brutal Los Angeles racism on the cover of a game that he apparently didn’t even have any direct involvement with just out of a hope that the “controversy” of his presumed inclusion would lead to higher sales.
it is also much worse than i remember (that is a prolonged video by a weirdo with questionable pacing, i don’t expect you to watch it) since when the game was in my house it was never finished, perhaps due to how illogical and unfair its puzzles are, with a high likelihood of getting left in an unwinnable situation, in typical sierra fashion, but its final resolution ends up being more anti-crossdresser/gay/trans than anti-black.
The only thing i remember is the dunkly protagonist only responding “no comment” when interrogated by a reporter even when you initiate the talk interaction yourself, and at the time as 12ish-year old i thought “no comment makes you seem guilty! EXPLAIN your position!”
over years i would imitate the guy’s corny uninterested voice and somehow it turned into “doh comment” whenever i thought about somebody making themselves look bad through declining to give answers, even as i forget every other aspect of the game. doh comment is NOT in the linked video!
but i have not left a comment saying so ]]>
happy halloween i mean thanksgiving i mean xbox in mid-august. do people really give out cards for these?
finally kfc within driving distance
oddly enough at $11.23 per pound this is only just slightly less expensive than actual kfc material. although i suspect a larger amount of the weight here is that of the copious amount of packaging so the pricing may even out.
kellogg’s rice crispies at 6.72 per pound cost less than pretend fried chicken but more than double what the cheapo generic brand crispy rice costs, 2.65 per pound, but you apparently have to eat them out of a kfc bucket. Admittedly from here it looks like the bucket contains dr. mario pills instead of cereal and drugs are always big money.
Although you can get a “15 dollar movie ticket reward when you buy three boxes“, you already wasted nine dollars on overpriced cereal and also probably won’t get a 15 dollar movie ticket reward because companies wouldn’t offer giveaways like that if more than a few people completed all the steps so to actually collect on them because that would not be good business. Even if you did succeed, assuming the only movie you can spend this on is toy story 5, then you still wasted nine dollars on overpriced cereal and also jumped through weird hoops and gave up extra data to multinational corporations beyond what they already collected without your permission so you could “save” money on the low quality material they collude to overcharge you for. figure that disnar have by now 500 ugly characters from five feature films and innumerable scraps of spinoff material they can represent this undead franchise with and they chose the plastic spoon with a mr. bill face because someone must have decided that is the least inorganic-looking trinket involved.
meepwhile they didn’t consider that krice rispies is a product that many people eat WITH a spoon and a fantastic opportunity for a more logical synergy. I laughed at the “Adventure Spoon” good gorply borpity 18 years ago how old AM i but it is an attempt at tying the tie-in to the cereal. Although the face on the toy story spoon probably interferes with eating the food and since it has its own mouth you also risk it trying to eat the food itself and then you are putting your mouth on its mouth and i really don’t want to think about this. Which also means there are probably jokes about that within the movie so to make sure that nobody outside of the movie can make fun of it for that and it also lets them kill a solid minute of running time and save money on sound and visuals through minimal animation and forced awkward silences.
No, it simply needs to go. I refuse to feel bad for fake toys who get ignored by the masters they have to pretend to be dead in front of for no remotely identified reason. Explaining that or at least the characters finally asserting their sentience is the singular way i could care about their antics and they will never do that because they would have before now if they were going to because even when john lasseter thought he was invincible and unfirable it would have been unprecedented for a non-straight-to-video disney series to get five installments so they would have done that in the third one, and i was indeed temporarily interested in the third one when i thought it was going to do that and of course it didn’t. (i also have not reread that since somehow i am already 11 minutes past when i wanted to be done with this)
I thought this was ugly in 1996 and still do. Tom Hanks is boring, Tim Allen is a creep. All the talk of appreciating what you have instead of the latest commercial fad when toy story has more branded merchandise than almost anything only gets more obnoxious. Even the logo makes me angry.
the simpsons is older and possibly more insufferable in its never-ending presence without plot advancement (and naturally is now owned by the same company) but at least isn’t periodically presented as a big deal for coming back when i didn’t notice it left. It is like McRib Sandwich: the Movie(s)
And june 12 that “needs new batteries” review is from. is toy boring 5 even still in theaters? will it still be by the time you redeem your box points?
in lieu of another picture of the plastic spoon here is instead my cousin wearing an actual bucket for a hat that once held popcorn that probably was more overpriced than any of the products i just showed, bucketed or otherwise, left over from seeing a truly stupid rockettes christmas show in new york city that i still was less embarrassed to be at than a theater showing toy stories because i can believe a lot of people worked really hard to make a show that stupid and probably only just barely got paid what the job was worth while Tim and Tom get the big bucks to stand in a booth for a few hours saying stuff they’ve said before that anyone else who sounds like them could say without the audience noticing or nerds believing it is someone else. ]]>
are you sick of moraff yet? were you already discontented with it before i started? does anybody read these posts at all? Whell i am just about halfway through by now, assuming i don’t make additional work for myself, which i am almost guaranteed to do.
tentative shadow monsters made for the sections that i initially didn’t. the regular game communicates a monster is “shadow” by making one color see-through but there is no reason that i need to. although it is difficult to ascertain if that is working outside of the game since i only have flat colored website backgrounds to check them against and it doesn’t read as translucency and it just looks like i made worse color choices than usual.
the gargalon is adapted directly from the one i put in the big illustration years ago and consequently looks really scraggly on this web page right now so i probably need to sort that out
the shadow elemental is mostly a fire elemental like originally but i also gave it shadow-energy swords, mild rock details and a fire tornado to indicate that it isn’t just fire, although i didn’t put any ice on it since given the context i suspect that would imply that this drains levels, which it does not. at present it has no see-through areas but i suppose i will give it some eventually.
the vulture is much more like the original game’s vulture despite my decision earlier to replace the webbing with feathers. i wondered if the artist logan gilbert had actually been trying to draw a wyvern or maybe a pteranodon skeleton, which would account for the short ankle length, but didn’t label it and moraff just declared it was a vulture.
the shadow queen demon is again more like the original than the regular monster, though the one i did before was fairly similar already so i thought about giving it a more monstery skin tone, and very inaccurate scallop shell throne, two extra arms and two crowns too sure. i returned the wrist-knife thing that i replaced with marvel wolverine claws, thinking i could communicate what it was better than the old graphic did, but then decided i should give that hand an ornate cup instead, then realized i could have both and inadvertently had the bloody knife above the cup and ah ha ha yes that is something a demon would do. but then with the throne there i couldn’t well implement translucent portions, so maybe i will just do without those in the end. the way aseprite and presumably anything else exports alpha channel pngs creates a flat full opacity image first, with whatever color is on the highest layer at any spot taking priority, and THEN it applies the alpha values so you if you want something to look like it has multiple layers you need to fake it all on one layer, which is stupid because faking it to making it is inherently stupid.
or take a screenshot and then cut around the parts that don’t have document background do you don’t end up with chess board patterns like modern image editing software tends to represent the concept of “literally nothing will be here if you look at this outside the software,” and this doesn’t even necessarily look better like that. it just looks like there is a weird scar on the left-side face, and not even a “yes indeed i sure am tough” scar, more like a “i stepped on a rake” sort of scar, which admittedly would be impressive for someone who has no legs and lives underground but we know that didn’t happen so we can naturally ascertain that it isn’t a scar just part of a chair that looks wrong. incidootily this example png eats ten times as much disk space likely on account of the chess boardage because lossless image compression works by merging together identical adjacent pixels and the checker pattern leaves very few of those. One more reason why I play video games instead. though the benny anderson/bjorn ulvaeus music for chess is superior by default on account of dungeons of the unforgiven still not having music. there is present placeholder music from a previous project but the designated sound person has not replied in the disco rd server once since i have been involved and presumably not even because of me, though i am optimistic that i can make it because of me, without even trying to. since back when i was your age any time you did something on the internet you put E in front of it, so since i talk like a weirdo i automatically e-strange.
i DID inadvertently find an old chinese weapon similar to the troggishing object –curiously while trying to look up a potential weapon change reference for a different monster– without having anything to do with star trek, a “cicada wing sword” but it sure isn’t being held like the troggisher does.
however since i had gone ahead and made the shadow skeeter doing approximately that i decided to imitate this book cover pose. note that the cover model only has one hand in the designated grip space which suggests to me that even when used optimally this thing doesn’t do what it is supposed to. after i changed the skin from yellowish to blueish it looked like the spider man character called venom so i changed the eyes to purplish and this might look shadier anyway. it still does not look very scary but the way the game works it ends up not being as powerful as it probably should be anyway: monster power is decided not just by the “level” they are given but how deep into a dungeon they are. since each module starts at floor 0, the first shadow monster will always be weaker than the fourth from the previous module that would have been at a comparable level but deeper within its respective module. each module has an additional five floors per section but it still means you need to get to the second one for there to be enough depth to make a difference. ADDITIONALLY monsters gain an additional bonus if you are below floor 25, and again if you are below floor 100. i suspect jimbly could tweak that or make it a per module boost instead but he may prefer to be true to the original game. it DOES make the sudden power increase surprising, since it isn’t explained anywhere. though i think i would prefer a more consistently challenging game than one that tricks you into thinking it is easy a few times and then suddenly not being that. but this is the sort of game where if you set out to fix it you will never stop finding things wrong with it. It may only be memorable because of how much is wrong with it. If it didn’t have problems someone other than me would have been making the graphics.
oh 11:56pm that’s how i like them apples ]]>
oh nope i messed it up because i thought it was entitled to it.
section 9’s monsters
which strongly resemble the ogre and werewolf, recycled from Moraff’s World. And then they show up as their regular selves unedited yet later. Right here it is mostly the ogre’s head and the werewolf’s body, and, curiously, mirrored, which in most cases makes no difference since monsters in this game randomly mirror themselves anyway. Apart from that it reminds me that
the ogre’s boots had already been recycled. all these years i have been thinking about the garbage can’s footwear and they were actually stolen. however the regular ogre doesn’t show up until section 15 so i still have time to determine what to do with this boot knowledge.
monster 1, the arguably racist head hunter
i presumed that the odd way the head is being held in the original resulted from moraff not thinking the head looked like it was grasped properly in the edit he could manage of the werewolf’s hand so then he added some strings.
it is funny or strange at least that “headhunter” now is 100% terminology just for a person whose job it is to hire employees. in the 1990s it was well understood to refer to members of nonspecific tribal cultures who specialize in decapitating foes. i would not know how to make a drawing of a generic business person be understood as being this sort of head hunter, although i will probably use that “idea” for the shadow variant later because the more i think the worse this gets.
i decided that trying to make it look like an actual borneo headhunter did not help the “culture, not a costume” aspect and i remained concerned about that even though cutting off someone’s head is nasty whyever you do it. i had figured that an axe was more efficient for beheading and therefore less “primitive” than a knife, yet an axe is pretty well up there with what i would expect a barbarian to be carcarrying. then remembered the dorky 1960s film “master of the flying guillotine” that is frequently* cited as the inspiration for rygar’s discarmor (*among people who talk about rygar), and tried to draw one of those things, and i tried that instead and that is the present state of things.
though contrary to the picture on the movie poster, the actual flying guillotine for most of the film functions more like a hat that only seems able to land on an opponent who is standing still and then cuts through their neck with INWARD-facing spikes from a stopped position that avoided cutting anything while the hat landed, rather than slicing with the same spinning motion that propelled it through the air. so this is more like the outward-facing-spikes poster/near end of movie version. which is still barbaric but not conventionally associated with white stereotypes about tribal folk
the blue hair and weird eyes might have to go also
monster 2 pogerstead had started as literally the same thing as a headhunter, just without the bizarre body details/ritual paint and head removal. i decided to focus on the game’s explanation that
These monsters were not quite brave enough to cut off their own head like the Head Hunters, but they still serve their leader’s cause.
and gave this one an executioner type hood that perhaps they wear out of embarrassment for their heads still being stuck to their necks, which then suggested an executioner sort of axe to go with it, especially after i had to give up on the last axe.
This is in the category of monster that does extra damage, which are always described as “this critter’s weapon is evil!”
so considered a more critterly approach but only briefly
monster 3 grobler was literally the ogre just colored green and with extra teeth.
knowing that i will have to draw a regular ogre anyway later i didn’t include the club weapon. I don’t want to use sword either since several other monsters already had swords and more are coming. Then i remembered the text that describes them as like prisoners:
They also serve the shadow Head Hunter, but not by choice. They are killed when they disobey.
which is really stupid but stupid is on brand for this game.
so pickaxe seemed like something a slave would have. that might also have unfortunately been behind the pogercritter getting a whip, but i also just said there were too many monsters with swords, even little ones.
not that i like the idea of murdering slaves but these don’t need to actually BE that, that can just serve as an unfortunate inspiration for why i gave this character a pickaxe and an orange collar like the prisoners wear in xenogears. simialarly i don’t especially like xenogears but in this context it doesn’t look like prisoner garb either, just like something weird i did to make this look less like a green moraff’s world ogre in the absence of better ideas. removing the boots was also part indicating a life of hardship, but knowing what i now know about those boots imagine how humiliating it would be for someone to steal your shoes and give them to a literal pile of trash on legs.
a potentially often overlooked detail if more than a few people ever played this whole dumb game is that the reward for beating shadow vulture way back in section 3 is a “very rare bottle of pogerstead’s milk.” the original pogerstead does not look especially milkable and i am not about to draw an udder on mine. i also wonder, based on other confusions and errors in the original game text if grobler and pogersteads had their names swapped at some point since milking seems like something horrible that would be done to captives. in fact I even had their names swapped for a while unrelated to this just because section 9’s designs are so similar and unremarkable. and also it is absolutely impossible to get another bottle by defeating a pogerstead or anything else. this may just need to be a matter that remains only for observant players to wonder about. maybe it comes out of the weird covered tail end, but it usually doesn’t, hence why a full bottle of it is “very rare.” But you will never know and neither will i.
monster 4, wraith: i noticed the original looked sort of like a large glowing dope but decided against committing to that.
i did however give it some creature attributes so i didn’t feel like i had to make up some excuse for it being apparently naked and my not detailing some of its parts, which seems like it requires more of an explanation the bigger you make it and i have made this very large. having a tail and animalian ears excuses that completely for no reasonable reason unless you are one of the people who replies to me on reddit.
i have started on section 10’s monsters, which combined with the redrawn puffballs that i keep forgetting to make an update out of means i am halfway done with drawing all the monsters. but i still have plenty of opportunities to screw this up.
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section 8 is flooded like 4, and in fact uses the exact same scenery as 4 (and 20) in the regular game without even a different palette since there are only four palettes which are always used in the same order for each module/episode. I however can make totally different scenery for each and every monster can have its own palette. yes absolutely i will make more work for myself for no reason, you probably know that. this was my favorite monster set of regular unforgiven even though they rely so heavily on the same set of greens.
skeeter, i was not sure if it was a fish or an amphibian or something else. it also has nearly the same pose and weapon as the troggisher upstairs so i wanted mine to not match each other so much. i tried to find evidence of another fantasy creature called “skeeter” and did not succeed quickly and did not want to look far enough that i would start getting shown the blue kid from “Doug.”
hydra, another one with multiple heads/faces, but since they are all the same head and don’t all require their own body this was more manageable than some other troublesome subjects. i went with the cobra theme of the original but stupidly looked up pictures of actual cobras and realized that isn’t how the scales work and changed it even though i thought it looked better with the horizontal ribs-like texture on the “hood” part
water dragon, the submerge effect really only works when it is facing straight ahead because walls infringe on the space so easily. i tried to make this thing off-angle but i had to keep nudging the parts closer together and it looked crummy. perhaps i will nudge it further before i give up and just make it straight ahead like i just said it only works as. it actually breathes ice instead of fire so i tried to base this off of the smoke that comes off of dry ice but it looks surprisingly quite a bit like fire smoke.
animated waterling, didn’t i say i should add a purple glow to indicate that these things were level drainers? i did indeed. i had already drawn this by the time i said that and had not thought much yet about if i should apply that here. i had already moved on to worrying about how i would handle the arguably racist “headhunter” in section 9 and i still have not sorted that out because i have also been doing other rubbish too dumb to talk about (it is called artfight and i literally cannot talk about it without saying something stupid because it simply IS stupid and it is likely making me stupider but ends at august, mercifully). that rubbish does not include making actual animation for the animated waterling, and i even allowed me to depict non-body-of-water liquid as solid blue, which i typically will not do. but i just remembered that i changed the actual scenery water on the ground to be brown for the sake of variety which will probably mess with this looking right coming out of it so i expect i will be changing the water back to the same blue i used in section 4 because if i change this thing to brown instead that will probably look disgusting
then i finally made a shadow variant, which looks more like the old version. i only at that time noticed that the hand on the left is not actually grasping the weapon, so i incorporated that. look i made THIS weapon purple even though it doesn’t drain levels. and then i think it must have been the white eyes that reminded me of batman and versions of the ninja turtles that take themselves seriously, and i put a stupid eye mask on it. The eccentricity of the weird non-grasping hand might have contributed to that inspiration. i want to give it gloves also but then i would want to give it boots and that wouldn’t work since presumably it walks on water precisely because of the nature of its bare feet
OHHHHhhh gosh NOW i see, the original one has gaps amidst the central bar and the hands go THROUGH those, so i do not need to have the hand like this. I am so accustomed to seeing the stark white of the game backgrounds or the light grey checkerboard of aseprite default transparency that i never noticed the bar wasn’t solid until it was on my own dumb web page right now while trying to figure out what mouseover text to write. I am uncertain if i like the hand better when it makes sense, however.
actually this is probably the fastest update i put out in years, and it is only just slightly worse than the ones i spend longer on.
]]>everyone’s favorite moraff monster (since it is the first monster stored in the game and most people have no knowledge and thus no preference about the topic this ends up being the default and therefore overwhelming winner), the [giant] garbage can
when i arrived at the topic of how to handle the matter of drawing a new one i abruptly remembered a picture of the shakespeare character falstaff who seemed to have similar dimensions and presumed demeanor to the trash can. the result scarcely resembles a trash can but it didn’t before either and at least has a lid now.
although i might underestimate his abilities; i understood falstaff to be a drunken boasting imbecile but this generic unnecessary website that came up when i tried to find a high resolution version of the image assures me that Falstaff is a “public domain super hero.” Or maybe that is referring to the page-assistant on account of an uncanny ability on display to put up with Falstaff and resist the urge to run him through with his own sword.
regardless of staff-feller, the rubbish bin’s file name is ‘mon_garbage.png’ which makes me think of “bonjour mon grande garbage” and this certainly looks frencher now despite paris having no public garbage cans at all when i visited due to worries about terrorists hiding bombs (or dopes) in them so instead were just plastic bags attached to rings. but that would not do for the moraff receptacle that is both proud of its exterior and secretive about its contents. Or at least that was the case at one time:
little knownst to anyone except those he told about it because he wanted them to know, Moraff, less than two months ago, decided to do his own remake of “Moraff’s Revenge,” the game that game before Moraff’s World, the game before Dungeons of the Unforgiven (the one i am making new pictures for a remake of), in chat-gpt, because that is what he is into now, and it even has a creepy ai rainbow garbage can, mercifully not ainimated (and also somehow clipping into the floor just slightly). But we can at least see inside it and now observe no conventional garbage at all, just a differently-unpleasant-looking mouth interior whose perspective is at odds with the rest of itself. supposedly Mr. Moraff’s goal was to recreate the game without telling the robot it was that game specifically or that he was moraff. i had no intention of taking inspiration from this… this output, since the boots were very important to me, but I never played moraff’s revenge enough to know that it even had the ding dang garbage cans in it and i wouldn’t have been able to tell they were rainbow since that is a cga game and EVERYTHING looks ugly and oversaturated in that. so he described this thing to a robot and there is no way it could have known about the rainbow unless he insisted it be colored that way in 2026, so he absolutely always intended for that to be the case.
I am told that he is a “techno-communist” these days and does not believe in intellectual property. And to think i was once worried he might have found out that i was very briefly offering the full version of dungeons of the unforgiven for download on my insulting webpage! Maybe he did find out and simply did not care. However that might also have happened AFTER he stopped outwardly selling his games and was just allowing other companies to presumably pay him for the right to sell the games so maybe it makes no financial difference to him if they are purchased or not at this point.
But why am i working so hard to make new graphics for a game that probably not many people will play, branded with the name of someone who doesn’t care if it is ever finished? Because it has a tangible end and will be published in a form slightly elevated from anything i have done previously. Even with hardly anything going for it, more is going for it than usual. And i like to think it has more going for it than it did in 1993 since Jimbly has set it up so that players can choose how unfair they want the game to be and also change their mind about that at any time. There is also no artificial intelligence involved in the [re]creation of the game. I don’t know how much real intelligence is involved either but I certainly attempt it on my end.
while the alternative makes everything around it stupider so hypothetically i should seem smart at some point, even if no one that i become smarter than will notice. They aren’t paying attention to me anyway, too focused on the robot telling them how smart they are, so it is enough that i get some satisfaction out of it, perhaps.
while trying to find where i had saved the picture of the chat-gpt garbage can i found this picture that i saved in march. i was less concerned with whatever podcast than: oh no friggin BABYLON BEE and AXE COP are connected to the same people. and then today i continued: axe cop, i remember, being less a comic strip than a sequence of illustrations of random stuff happening with no connection to anything before or after it or the title character and the author kept making sure to point out that his six year old brother wrote it, like that excused it. I exclusively encountered it via hyperactive resplorging dorkos on livejournal gushing over how “badass” it and “Snakes on a Plane” sort of trash was and i guess at some point it was made into a tv series and i thankfully had fewer dorkos in my life at that point to try and inferior-pressure me into watching it, but periodically i wonder what the deal is with some annoying celebrity or actor person and just about every one of them has had a voice credit on it.
All the irritating garbage* that i want no part of bleeds together and never truly goes away.
*this statement was in the file name which resulted in it showing up in my image serch
And the problem with babylon bee is that effective satire depends on your core premises not being false or appealing to and favoring the interests of the worst, typically wealthiest, power-abusing creeps on the planet, even if “the bee” as those in the no call it, tries to make a show of targeting such people occasionally.
Look this proves we’re not fascist crapaganda! We waited until McConnell was definitely not dead to make fun of him with a weak ad hominem insult that doesn’t criticize the damage he has inflicted on the world while smugly smiling! tee hee ho It is gentle ribbing at worst toward folks who would rightly have their ribs shattered and fed to crocodiles and oops i accidentally wrote another installment of axe cop. we just need to make the victim “apolitical” so that flagrantly political shills will agree to provide voices.
and flob forbid you try to go to their website to get a recent example because you felt like you “owed” it to them to have evidence when you complain about them and you’ll get to see this jd-vance looking beardo with a maga-coded t shirt in front of a background trying to tie itself to when Stephen Colbert was funny pledge-driving at you. You can’t even say no without saying thanks also.
here this is the one story on their bluesky page. they reposted it several times pretending they had no idea why their account was getting blocked by people over a transphobic joke 3 decades past its expiration date and then they gave up posting further. i don’t assume the axe cop dork wrote this but he would have known it ran stories like this when he joined up.
unless he was taken against his will; apparently he has had comics published by a company called “slave labor graphics.”
I first learned about babylon bee when my older brother linked to a story from it on his twitter page, maybe a bit before he lamented the lack of lynchings amidst the january 6 2020 shenanigans, and more recently told our mother that he was starting his own religion with chat-gpt. that makes sense; ai-generation is also a scam pretending to be magic that destroys/further destroys everything it touches.
hence this local company with a flagrantly ai-logo (note the inconsistent amounts of fingers) despite it being something extremely easy to draw advertises jesus in just as many spots. ai absolves you of responsibility for work and jesus absolves you of responsibility for destroying the world with data centers that fuel the ai that you use to cheat terribly, and both somehow tell you that you’re right no matter how awful you are or who your awfulness hurts. I try to ensure that my own awfulness hurts me more than anyone else. ]]>
giant worm
i like that the original worm looks sort of like it has a proud facial expression even if that seems to be inadvertent. on other occasions i emphasized the parts that i thought were funny but since i am weird about unorthodox “face”s i decided to go aggressive. and is the brown fluid blood from stuff it ate or something to aid in consumption/digestion that is going where it shouldn’t to emphasize how gross this thing is?
this is not quite as bad as with the watery graverd. everything that goes wrong will be compared against that
oozing blob
again i might like the original better. i tried to make it look like gloppy blue hands were grasping the sword. though it might absorb defeated foes in the game it attacks just like a normal monster so maybe it uses a partially absorbed sword to do that. or maybe i was just desperate for any approach other than simply redrawing what is already here
squishy cube(s)
THIS one approaches watery graverd difficulty even though it is clear what the three absorbed figures are. this monster also has a color cycled gradient over some of the pieces and i might omit that since i do not know what i would do with that
shape shifter
yet another where the initial pose is probably superior. and after i drew this one i imagined a pose with a longer chain spiraling around the narrowest part of the body, though that would look even less like an attack. and ironically this is the least absorby-looking monster from the section yet it is the only one that drains levels. i should add a purple aura around the weapon like i did with the were-rat-bat
section 7 suddenly has recycled moraff’s world monsters in it and i wondered if i could bring in more consistency but since it starts with arachnids and i am extremely weird about anthropomorphisating those i got stuck
scorpions don’t actually have heads distinct from their bodies like that, although in the game it is spelled “scorpian” so maybe it is a different type of creature ultimately.
spiders turn out to be much closer to the familiar tetrapod forms than worms are. and so i can justify giving big central cartoon eyes to it if i give it two side-eyes, though it will be unpleasant for me if those also have pupils. then i considered that one of the spider references i could stand to look at that i downloaded also had its fore limbs raised, albeit without hands, so i added those as well, which almost block the side eyes anyway.
the rat, despite how bad the whiskers look when hard resized for this website i actually do rather like the look of. the utter lack of polish on it testifies to what a brief period i spent worrying about it, but ideally i will fix that later and make it look just as overprocessed and smudgy as the cube picture.
no not quite it can definitely look uglier than this
and also the non-rat bat is decent enough. but then i liked the rat pose so much i wondered if it was a waste to not give that to the bat since rats can have slithery ground poses that bats generally would not be expected to, though bats can in fact walk on the ground on all four limbs which i didn’t think about until writing this explanation but i already chose the poses so i don’t need to try that one. and again, you have something like spiders that are known for trapping prey and sucking the life out of them, yet the bat is the level drainer, and we already had a bat level drainer. hence i should perhaps put a purple aura on something here also. ]]>
no scrint, there weren’t smartphone APPs 250 years ago? how did folks know how many steps they took? how did they watch cat videos? how did they find out how to respond if someone asked them for an opinion? how did they automatically generate artwork and possibly all other components for shoddy little articles like this? (the room’s back corner doesn’t work, the human has marionette hands and i can’t tell what the weird double chained pocket watch/jeweler eyepiece thing on the far left of the desk is).
oh borax, how did *I* know what the weather was just 25 years ago? I’m almost as old as america and i don’t remember! nerfs i don’t even use smartphone APPs now; how do i know ANYTHING?
I can’t tell if the people who write this sort of thing ARE that dumb or just hope everyone else is, or perhaps aims to exclude anyone who isn’t. certainly the level of edutainment on cable channels –and weather.com was in fact exclusively tied to The Weather Channel– has always been written to appeal to the dumbest of the dumb, including whatever trash i got that “bat selfies” line from a few posts ago off of. when my father was dying of prostate cancer toward the end he just watched television every waking hour since cerebral ataxia also made his hands shake so much that he could not hold reading material steady, and we didn’t have specialized streaming channels, so he often had on documentary-style material, but most of the time it was just trash timeslot filler trying desperately to appeal to social media brain-slaves and young housewife domestic slaves, and whatever else was directed at preschool children, those assumed to not be in school or a job during early-mid day if you are outside major buying demographics nobody makes broadcast television for you. we could make fun of him for watching “bones” and “castle” reruns when those came on but merely through having a paper-thin plots those were several stairwells up brain-stimulation-wise from the spider-web-thin stories for shows about the knights templar or ancient aliens or arguably competent dutch veterinarians.
beside the point but every time Sean Connolly music comes up in my playlist i see that little picture in the last.fm window and think he is wearing a paper hat as if he works in a 1970s mcdonalds or the swiss army or something but upon closer inspection, and apparently also as it appears on this website due to last.fm ignoring the magnification settings that apply to my web browser it appears to be a standard baseball style hat. the light blue and dark blue with a bright yellow stripe between them at small size make make the hat appear to be angular and peaked, and the other dark blue part blends into the background and makes the hat seem smaller and stupider. also i deliberately took this picture during the track with the stupidest name. despite sean connolly making perfectly listenable music for a terrible game based on the mediocre film “surf ninjas” which features locations called
the Village of MeeGrob,
the Caves of Kwantzu and
Vindaloo the Blacksmith,
his music files are just called surf_ninjas.scn and two of them that for the sake of my own sense of coherence i labeled “ninjaing around” and “in the jungle” cover the entire remotely interactive portion of the game.
Also as far as i can tell “Vindaloo the Blacksmith” is NOT a character in the film and was invented by the game developers, elsewise they were actually given an early draft of the script to base the game on that included elements which were later cut, in which case i am astounded that the script had more than one draft. grahamted i only saw the movie once on vhs when it came out, so long ago that i absolutely have no recollection of Leslie Nielsen being in it despite The Naked Gun being my favorite movie, but i DO remember copious sega game gear product placement. the game gear adaptation would have a hard time being worse than the one for amiga cd32 but if there’s any japanese console that can make a worse game than the ones on amiga cd32, it’s the sega master system, but the game gear is very similar to that.
oh yes also
last.fm is a website i use to obsessive-compulsively catalogue what music listen to, how much of it and by whom. This actually HAS had some practical value as it has made me pay more attention to who composes what music and leads to me looking for more music by the people i actually trust to make music i want to hear. Gee how did i ever listen to music before there were APPs for that? admittedly i would probably have gone mad with monotony if i was stuck still listening to music off of cassettes that could only have contrain whatever was officially published and sold or that i could stand to make personal bootlegs of, but as previously noted (more than once) i have been hoarding audio since plenty before dumb little phones
apparently there are people who have even more pathetic uses for last.fm than i do; somebody decided that “mcdonalds” counted as a music artist and added a picture for it, which will show up briefly if i try to show someone hokey old mcdonalds ads on youtube. that is still probably a better use of my/their time than going to mcdonalds. ]]>
a third moraff update.
i did not mock-up demonstration scenes this time since it takes too long (it shouldn’t but i do everything the wrong way) and is not relevant to the final product; i only needed them to summarize what i was doing otherwise so i will ideally not make any more of those. also i haven’t drawn new walls yet, because the regular game just palette swaps the first set of walls so if i simply interpret again i will have nearly the same walls i already made so marginally more thought may be in order if i don’t just swap in more graphics i already made for “watch out for dopes”
for section 5 we have
monster 1 troggisher’s weapon makes no sense and i wondered if i should change it so it made a slight bit of sense but i was eventually reminded of a totally impractical 1990s star trek weapon called bat-leth that klingons use to show how manly they are, since i guess if you can win a duel with a terrible weapon more likely to injure yourself than your opponent that proves you are the best in a totally irrelevant category within a society that has phasers and photon torpedoes. And i wondered if the original troggisher’s implement was inspired by that. still it might be worth turning the skull around since that will be more identifiable as a skull even though its horns will then only serve to make the implement more difficult to use. one person did suggest that the skull was actually the creature’s clothing and the weapon was actually two axes that just due to awkward image composition appear to be stuck in the skull’s eye zone, and even in that scenario the axes are not being held in a way conducive to using them
i was surprised to look at the original palette values and see that they are perfectly yellow, equal parts red and green. i interpret them as slightly green and presumably most people do. so i left them the same on the troggisher, just with some intermediate values. but since the new game is not palette limited except for the color cycling affect i can make the other locals have different greens. i don’t know who if anyone is going to play this dumb game long enough to see module 2 but i keep going because there are five!
monster 2 dozard does NOT have a green protrusion on its head originally but it looks enough like it does that it seems a shame to not include in a pose where the tail would not have a chance to give the same impression. also potentially this helps it look less like a donkey kong country adversary.
the pose calls out for an embarrassing tattoo but the game has retained the trait where monsters randomly decide to be backwards so it would be limited to symmetrical letters or symbols.
dozard is classified as an “armored” rather than high attack power monster but apparently the armored ones do have slightly elevated hit strength relative to “average” monsters, though they lack a few speed points. which thus makes a running pose inappropriate but maybe it doesn’t run very far
curiously, monster 3, the torman, the only character in the game with a face-concealing helmet, is not given a high armor rating. nor a high strength and certainly not a high speed rating, I thus made it look more powerful and faster than the other three.
and also i am terrible at drawing muscles. that isn’t new but hopefully in the intended context that will be minimally evident. ironically i could probably alleviate this slightly by drawing more armor on them.
something was telling me to give monster 4, the crab-horse-spider, a buck-toothed smile and i eventually realized i was thinking of the awful crab beast from moana. i had earlier kept worrying it was looking like something from monsters incorporated but couldn’t pinpoint the character since i have somehow never been in its presence.
i have no tolerance for “coming of age” “uuuughghh this is SO unFAIR!!!” disar and pixney mopey-smug-mopey-smug tweens arguing with family movies they have been cranking out endlessly since the lion king, but i also don’t like their movies that aren’t that but came out within this same period apparently, and i feel like my niece has watched all of them in front of me (except the monster one i guess). i don’t blame little mermaid for that since it wasn’t so much copying a formula from an earlier disney movie though i still don’t want to see that again much less hear its songs again.
i also saw the cinema preview for the moana remake that is evidently SO redundant that even disney cult shills old enough (meaning my age or greater) to be permanently set in that can’t see a reason for it to exist. there is so much computer imagery the only apparent difference is that Rock “The Dwayne” Johnson actually had to go to a film set, and SUPPOSEDLY at one point there was a plan to just make an artificial intelligence puppet out of his face and superimpose that on another actor and HE WAS FINE WITH THAT IDEA.
the only reason it didn’t happen was because disney might not legally “own” that. can you imagine a world where disney can’t just own everything? The procedure being horrifying to think about and likely also to look at and wasting an obscene amount of electricity and water to make this ostensibly pro-ocean movie did not enter into the matter.
also that article does not actually explain who “Reed” is and I wish i were able to not notice things like that when they pertain to topics that i greatly desire to not know or care about.
Anyway this crab-horse-spider doesn’t remind me of moana now beyond it reminding me that it used to remind me of that.
yes apparently that is all for now since this is essentially half of a patreon post i just made and i have to tell myself that the ten subscribers are actually getting something exclusive and not just giving me money out of pity without necessarily looking at what i upload or caring if they are getting significantly before anyone else does.
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the were rat bat looks like it has fake wings held on by shoulder straps but upon close examination that might not be the intent, nonetheless i went with that. my first sketch gave the bat legs instead of arms since a slightly less fake bat would have wings as its forelimbs, but there is another bat in module (episode) 2 that has legs and is less well drawn so i will wait for then to take excessive liberties. i was already messing with the vulture. feathers are not bones but according to a morbid image search withering ones can apparently be found still stuck to vulture skeletons, either because they don’t rot the same way as flesh or just nothing wants to eat them. in my endless wisdom i depicted the OLD version of the vulture’s head on the ratbat’s shield. the shadow variant is stored as a separate image so i have the power to give that an appearance distinct from the regular ones and maybe i will give that the more pterodactylyian traits of the original. but i also have at least 72 more monsters to draw so i should perhaps prioritize that
i started on a watery graverd –all these years i thought the name was graveyard and wondered why it was being spelled graverd in the game text development spreadsheet and also in the several years old gamefaq –that despite including contributions from me as “porticulo” i apparently never read completely since the project leader Jimbly forwarded me to it when i asked a few questions about game mechanics– but looked at my very old screenshots and it plainly says “graverd.” perhaps moraff erd in spelling it that way to begin with but i will likely never know and in any case that is its correct spelling now.
i started on a sentence about watery graverd but my digression was catastrophic. the drawing i started on also was in different ways. a comment i got a few days ago that the akismet spam detector helpfully prevented me from seeing until the commenter told me specifically two days later that it had left a comment that never appeared and i went to search for and forcefully appear it after i had already drawn my initial version suggested that what i was interpreting as antlers were actually meant to be arteries, and i wondered if maybe rather than being incomplete and awkward it really was intended to look like that. i am not fond of vestigial heads but i decided to try a “creature” comprised of other creatures stuck together, which didn’t work very well but looks better than what i already had,
although replacing the inadvertent smiley face with a blue dope was inspired and it is always a shame to NOT beat up dopes. maybe if i draw alternate variants for shadow monsters i will also draw variants for non-shadow monsters and the dope will return to have revenge enacted upon it.
the new version is still a mess and matches the old description of a being that “evolved directly from the rivers” better than then new one written by a mysterious entity called Merlin thast refers to “a menagerie of drowned corpses” since presumably a few of these would have had difficulty drowning, but it IS possible to look at this drawing and mostly determine what the individual pieces of it were intended to be. since i think the remake will only be available in the full version a hypothetical player will probably be in the place where you actually see these for less time than i needed to draw it. the full graphics is 2586×2014 and at least on my screen looks slightly better in the game than in this website sized gif.
in moraff’s world all the undead or demonic-looking creatures drain levels if they hit you but dungeons of the unforgiven makes no such effort at consistency, with the vulture of death in section 3 just being “fast” so me making the watery grave[ya]rd into a zombie mass that shouldn’t be a problem. although the best way to do that is to have it dripping with seaweed, and in the final section 20 the level drainer is a mass of sentient seaweed. and then the dorky crocodile with a hammer or axe is the evil level drainer instead. i think it would be logical to swap them but that would be the first logical event to occur.
even without the sea weed it looks rotting and wet, like a shoe that tried to walk through a puddle too deep for it. my drawings often look like this when i spend too long trying to fix bits that aren’t working and usually it works against them but for once dripping and disgusting is the intention, even if this was accomplished inadvertently. this looks like the weird soup a roommate once made with ingredients from the asian grocery store and then left on the stove for three days without saying anything about the soup or him leaving for three days. i swear i mentioned him on this website before because i distinctly remember including a lemur’s head to conceal the identity of the person in the photograph i showed but i cannot now prove that this happened and i would prefer not to dwell on that at length.
both merlin and jimbly have met steve moraff but i do not believe he was asked for insight on specific creatures, and i do not know if he gave instructions as to how the things were to be drawn either, so a few of them being utterly dissimilar to the originals is probably not of great importance. I have also been informed that he was shown one or more of my web pages but i do not know which ones or if he was exposed to any of the text. it seems likely that he does not care a whole lot one way or another so long as the finished product with his name and ownership implying apostrophe-s is not outwardly objectionable.
the “she demon” has for now marvel wolverine style claws. the original when closely examined seems to have a single knife attached in a similar position but the drawing always casually looked to me like “i’m stabbing my own wrist” and i didn’t necessarily want two single straight blades and then a club in the same drawing. better to have three distinct objects. the sword i drew actually has a CURVED blade but from this angle it looks like it isn’t. whuipth. i can potentially make the second head look less like phil and lyll’s mother from rugrats but up to this point i was more worried about the bubble fiend.
ironically the flooded zone of the original game probably inspired my ultimately unrealized attempt to make similar sorts of areas in the doom engine in pretty much every level i ever tried to construct, but always having difficulty figuring out why the water never looked right, and eventually becoming keenly aware that water just doesn’t look blue except in large bodies that are open to the sky, and now i am in a spot where i cannot proceed unless i commit to it looking blue and opaque in an interior space. whatever i came up with for free with wimpy technology somehow looks better than our government got for 14 million dollars but that isn’t necessarily saying much since they have spent billions on worse.
beyond THAT to create the effect that the water is not just a floor moraff had stretched the walls vertically so that the lower portions get cut off and then drawn over the edges in blue so that they would superficially appear to be actually the edges of the floor that isn’t supposed to look like a floor. no evidence exists now but i recall copying THAT also but i was trying to match it with doom’s own “nukedge” and “blodedge” textures that are supposed to look stained with toxic waste or blood rather than make the floor look bigger. and i did it in BRIGHT blue since my water texture (which does still exist because it was alphabetically earlier and so got on to the iomega zip disk before the last time the computer agreed to finish booting into windows 95 but is not relevant) was lighter blue so it would match the bright blue waterfall i also drew. oh the thought of it is uglier than the watery graverd. the present “couple from hell” i have up there DOES look light-blue stained because i drew that before i drew the water and initially would have matched with the more saturated light blue and i tried to fix it and i have gone back to take that screenshot about 12 times and it might come down to i put out this web page today or i fix that graphic and i don’t want to work on the web page tomorrow unless it was posted yesterday and the most nagging thing wrong with it is actually wrong with something outside the web page that is not at risk of being seen by anyone else for a few months probably. That might be comparable to the amount of viewers i get on the web page but the point is to talk myself into posting the thing, not whether anyone apart from me ever finds out.
thankfully i have more important things to worry about
in fact i had an earlier run-in with the project leader last year and attempted to write a website post about it, but it was mostly pedantry about the game’s source graphics that i never got around to uploading the pictures for. and now i have to be even more pedantic than that in order to make sense of what i will be redrawing.
I am meant to not show screenshots of the actual game in its present form but i CAN show my own contributions and I have other methods available with which to accomplish that
Although i have been encouraged to take liberties, i do not want to totally disregard the designs of, at least, the well drawn ones, allegedly by a long lost individual called Logan Gilbert. i presume much of the awkwardness was due to trying to maximize the viewing area they appeared in, since only one monster can be directly in front of the player, and also getting 32 colors total to use at any one time since Moraff needed to also reserve 16 ega colors, 16 wall colors, 16 floor colors and 176 ridiculous color-cycle highlighting colors. I started out trying to be fairly accurate with my recreations, particularly on the harpey whose frightful intensity i have always appreciated despite it being one of the easier monsters to defeat, but maybe it is better to ease into my sort of erraticness anyway. the green creature “sustrontima” looks less correct than the other three but its dorky joviality amuses me.
in section 2 i made even less effort to be accurate. i figure somebody who cares about this game and wants to see the original poses will simply use the “classic” graphics and i will have wasted more time than usual for less reason than usual, as usual.
it was only amidst this project that i became aware of the deformed hay-stuffed hand hanging off of one of the knives hanging off the sustrontima and was not sure if i should include it but it sounds like i should so i will add that later. I also considered the similarity of this appendage and its tool of choice plus the mysterious yellow lines falling out of it to some of the details on
my favorite least favorite monster, the flaming idiot, who INDEED has lost one or more hands. i will at some point have to redraw this thing also, and i suspect i will be considerably less accurate than i have already been.
this is another one i have been dreading having to redraw, by the better artist, even. it is called “watery graveyard” and i was never quite sure what precisely its illustration is OF
it looks sort of like two humanoids and a cat or beaver stuck in bubbles, plus something ELSE. but what IS that??!
the two human like shapes are already vague and the left looks like it has antlers or french fries coming out of its head, and i suspect the illustrator was given very few colors to sort this out in, so whatever i was supposed to see is even harder to see than it initially might have
The upper right piece looks sort of like a griffin claw but then what is on its head? a flower? that turned grey due to a shoddy palatte? with frog legs coming out of it? but the lips of the one of the identifiable entities are also green and probably not suppose to be so maybe the frog legs are supposed to be red and something else. bacon?
i wonder if the flower thing is even maybe the watery graveyard’s “mouth” and the nearest shapes make no sense because they are being consumed. but i always figured it was something unseen within the water, capturing creatures with bubbles. if it is a flying mouth it could do this anywhere
THIS part looks SORT of like a malevolent face but it is uncharacteristic of how logan gilbert draws faces
maybe it is even a stereotype of an early 1900s irish immigrant who works at a foundry or something and also has weird antlers
oh no i just realized i already spent several weeks this year drawing that
i must escape!
i also just realized i have another unfinished moraff post from 2018 which intended to end like this
I assume this similarity is deliberate but i do not know why it would be. i never watched double dare and thought “i really want to put that into my mouth.”
this similarity i assume is not deliberate
thank pog somebody scanned this book and put it on the internet; i was suffering mentally more than usual after spending an hour getting to this spot in the game from my nearest save-state and seeing the text say
“young owlbear” when i was CERTAIN it had always said “owlbear young” and that was the main reason the coconut was funny to me. I must have spent a lot of time doting on the generously oversized and overinformative instruction heap. it probably gave away TOO much of the game but sega genesis users in my home were more than capable of being terrible at it anyway and needing to develop sort of cheaty strategies to get through it.
if i couldn’t verify this i might have had to tell the story of how my younger brother (yes the alex jonesy one) while driving an automobile wanted to play audio off of a neil young cd he had just purchased but only at that point realized he had somehow bought a neil diamond cd instead and rather than returning it to the store for a refund or exchange he simply threw it out the window.
I also was particularly afraid of owlbears a long time ago.
Not CAVEbears, which use 80% of the same graphic tiles, have more hit points and do more damage and don’t have comma young versions that are easier to beat, but ALSO don’t have huge insect eyes and owl beaks of no practical value above standard bear facial features.
the authority can’t be THAT good if “unusual” is the best adjective it could muster. An unusual bear would be green or wear a silly hat! it would NOT have a beak!
and it is funny to consider that they are only 40 pixels tall since the first person view ends up filling most of the screen with a text descriptions of stuff the game isn’t prepared to show. Monsters also float around in space instead of standing on the ground, which has the unsettling effect of making them MORE scary. They are like foam dinosaurs in a bathtub. Which yes indeed at one point of my life i was legitimately terrified of inadvertently touching. I like that as scary as the tiny bouncing owlbears young were they could not touch me. That was an adequately immersive experience. Although this now reminds me that i had to stop playing Puggsley’s Scavenger Hunt because it creeped me out so much to see the float-bobbing rubber ducks hit a wall and abruptly reverse and start float bobbing in the opposite direction without being animated to turn around even though video game monsters have been doing that for most of their lives. Similarly with the leaves in the tree level of Prehistorik Man, even though they work much the same way as the raccoon leafs in super mario bros 3, i guess because they are larger and keep getting tossed back up instead of falling off the screen. borf i should not write this sort of thing at 3am now i won’t be able to sleep, thinking about those creepy self-mirroring leaves and ducks that apparently remembering being afraid of foam dinosaurs that bouncing owlbears remind me of remind me of. ]]>
the local spirit has its finger on the pulse of the art world despite being non-corporeal
although now i feel bad since i first posted this yesterday and haven’t seen the yellow character since the day before that but i presume i will again. generally i feel bad whatever happens.
this is actually the third edition of this picture and that one also. it appears that i did not make “normal” website entries for them because, like this one, it depends on an obnoxious social media sort of context that this website isn’t and in 2018 and 2017 i must have had enough other things to post that i was comfortable skipping them. Last year i suddenly started seeing what could be described as PLUMBER BLUE JERKRABBIT but evidently that was not sudden enough to inspire a continuation of this impotent protest then, so there are definitely different tiers of it.
I forgot to change the “bed” line from 2017 even though I have a real bed instead of a pair of mattresses now. I cannot determine what the floor clutter was supposed to be, so attempting to update it to resemble the present clutter would be a waste of time as i am destined to not know what that is later either. otherwise this is a completely logical use of time yes
>i saw mid 1990s reader rabbit games for the first time recently and this is what came of that
the interface imitation is an afterthought and so the words do not work very well with it, if they work at all.
i was already too old for the original versions of reader rabbit that i was occasionally near during what legally qualified as school for me, so i missed out entirely on the later versions that actually had characters and animation. hence why i cannot read. however my “audience” tends to be 10-20 years younger than me and not necessarily aware of how young i amn’t
Initially I just wanted to draw the dumb mouse misbehaving,
ruining everyone else’s day while calling out “see me!” and i wondered what else was going on. oddly enough while within the target demographic i probably would not have. possibly i was smarter then than now.
With the book theme and the large amount of small, hostile words that dominate official government messaging, i pushed the drawing toward the specific act depicted.
maybe reader rabbit isn’t a fascist but i lack any attachment to the character so i do not mind implying nefarious things.
and ideally this will not lead to any real person meeting the fate reserved for rabble rousing revolutionaries
before leaving i would like to point out that in the old macintosh game i saw in the past, i was under the impression that reader rabbit worked in a mine, but apparently actually OWNed the mine and has acquired a luxuriant dwelling, which includes a custom-made carrot-themed toilet. the branding is appropriate since rabbits don’t actually eat carrots often so possibly if they did it would cause them indigestion and as I know from reading the historical case study Watership Down, rabbits also don’t have very good long term memory so a toilet like this might one them remember the association. That also explains why Reader Rabbit has been repeating first grade for two decades. The only question is why there is so much space between the toilet and the sink. i suppose that means you don’t need to worry about your toothbrushes if you neglect to close the lid before flushing but that is generally a good habit to get into regardless of space allocation. ]]>
comic page 4-7 ! not again, the 4-7 from last time is now 4-8. I didn’t like how this once aggressive creature suddenly seemed cowardly for no reason and also having fearsome deeds occur out of view seemed inconsistent with what i have done up to this point. beyond that since treco has only effectively intimidated lope so far, to have a creature that also tried to intimidate lope be victim of it requires that i show it. And i had to wonder what could possibly HAVE happened which would accomplish that? And I am not sure that THIS shows THAT, but it shows more than before this page existed whatever the case. maybe ponappa is less cowardly than bothered and confused. this also gets slightly more use out of an old character design that i hated to waste on an extremely brief appearance. it is still wasted but to a lesser degree ]]>
i saw this while shopping. i don’t know if it is the WORST marketing character i have ever seen but it is the worst one i can remember right at this moment. definitely, probably, the worst one that used to be bearable.
At least Queen Brahne in Final Fantasy 9 has a weird sort of elegance to go with the disproportionate eyes and mouth and the player is meant to be unsettled by this appearance and not in favor of what this character endorses.
even the soulless marketing website wanking out over this megabland packaging redesign struggles to be positive about the shodawful ai meme hellscape mascot change
admittedly i have never bought bit-o-honey but i was never bothered by its presence until now. i remember years and years ago honey nut cheeriors cereal having a bit-o-honey sample bar hidden inside the box somewhere because i don’t know why, and me and my older brother both desperately trying to claim it just because children are easily impressed and made greedy for flashy nonsense even though i didn’t even like honey nut cheerios themselves. The presentation of the box’s “prize” made me see it as desirable. If it looked like THIS i wouldn’t want to go near it. and maybe in that moment that would have been preferable since i don’t believe i actually got to have the thing.
part of the shill page’s point is that the rebranded product seeks a more “mature” audience but as an adult sized person i STILL don’t want to go near it and only did so in order to capture evidence of it. this appeal is “mature” in the sense that a child wouldn’t pretend something horrible was good simply out of spite for another party that they dislike for a stupid reason.
The product has changed ownership a few times and right now it is owned by the spangler candy company which also makes “necco wafers” and artificial-banana-flavored “circus peanuts” and they just want the world to be worse i suppose.
in fact i apparently mentioned bit o honey and necco wafers in the same statement when declaring which bad candy my niece did NOT get on halloween a few years ago, not even aware that they were by then on the same side and uglier than ever.
even the computer generated “whammies” from the 2002 todd newton version of Press Your Luck weren’t as corporately ugly as this because whammies were ugly to begin with.
though arguably the sterile set design is inferior to new bit-o-honey at least retaining bright red in its background. I can SEE the horribee in front of it whereas the bland whammy, bland set and bland todd tend to bland blend into each other.
i am impressed that disney-owned abc found something i would less like to meet than the deedles. and this also foreshadows old bit-o-honey being reintroduced in 2040 and hopefully I will have better things to do by then than write a web page about it. ]]>
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i sketched out the next pages and considered that i might need to insert another page before this one to explain why this pineapply creature is acting like that since it looks like there isn’t an organic way for that to be explained afterward without the lizard no longer being able to dopily smile about it
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page 7 of part 4 of this
this section may end up being less relevant even than usual since the imps’ position in time is out of synch with what needs to happen to them next.
this was posted later than i meant to because i was discussing with someone how funny ub iwerks’ name is.
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spring must be here because the final halloween decoration came down.
actually that was a few days ago but the usb cords will only agree to transfer pictures off my dumb phone once every two weeks. which is still more frequently than anybody both notices and is willing to climb up to the flag pole this had been hanging off of at the same time.
i have also this day realized that what i thought was a casually discarded kitchen glove outside was actually a wrist and hand from the skeleton. i am accustomed to seeing other people’s bits of garbage and then removing them but since i didn’t know WHY somebody would drop a kitchen glove outside i thought it might have been intentionally placed so i didn’t touch it but after passing by it about 732 times I couldn’t think of a reason why somebody would have placed a glove there and also had not thought to ask any co-resident if they deliberately dropped a glove in the grass and decided it was worth investigating. now that i know what it is i naturally picked it up and dropped it in a wagon still full of leaves from months ago since I only briefly knew how to sew three years ago and don’t know if the rest of the skeleton was put away or disposed of once it was determined to be missing a piece. the arm came off, obviously, since skeletons lack the tendons that ordinarily connect their bones together.
I just want to stop this angry regal skeleton from laughing at me. I can’t be thinking about how things are spelled with that going on. go laugh at a dentist, weirdo.
i haven’t felt this intimidated since a mythical fire-spewing dinosaur quizzed me on nations that resemble footwear while i was plainly not dressed to ponder what gaijin barbarian nations are shaped like or that africa is actually a continent or even officially a separate land mass.
I presume zhang liao is addressing the skeleton. Alluding to the grinding of bones to make bread in 200ad 1500 years before the Jack-and-the-Beanstalk giant is just another example of how advanced chinese technology was compared to europe. unfortunately zhang liao was consequently also not aware that when bones actually were ground to make bread to avert starvation, nobody who ate it survived due the lack of nutritive content in bones and the difficulty of digesting them. Hopefully Mr. Zhang will add some raisins or at least fresh cartilage to the mix. It is rich in protein.
liu feng ought to be aware that even new bones will have the same problem, though they are effective plant fertilizer.
with that in mind i now know that “fertilizer factory” isn’t just a euphemism for laxative.
i was trying to avoid saying “bowel movement” but yes for that.
also this was addressed to somebody who has a legitimate psychological disorder that has also manifested as an eating disorder who obviously did not sign up for it. predatory capitalism is glorious. ]]>