Everybody’s talking about workplace mental health.  Or so it seems.

So, why are many employees still suffering in silence?

The campaign organisation Time to Change states that “one in four people experience a mental health issue in any given year”, while according to the Health and Safety Executive, mental health issues account for over half of all working days lost to ill health in the UK.

Worryingly, around 70% of sufferers do not seek treatment for mental health problems, including depression and severe anxiety.  Instead, many try to “keep calm and carry on” within the confines of their office walls, worried about what might happen if they were to speak out.  Could their job be on the line?  Will they be able to keep on paying the bills?

The Importance of Effective Workplace Support

Of course, not all mental health problems are about work.  However, the right organisational approach could mean the difference between an employee feeling supported and productive, or so stressed and upset that they have to take long-term sick leave.

It is therefore important that the right steps are taken to support your employees’ mental health.  A good starting point includes drafting a formal policy, so there is clarity about what level of support employees can expect, and how they can access it if needed.  Additionally, if your organisation offers wellbeing benefits, such as gym membership or flexible working arrangements, ensure your employees are properly informed about them.

Senior leaders will have a strong role to play in the promotion of mental health support throughout your organisation.  Leadership behaviour matters; it sets an organisation-wide example that other employees will follow, so ensure your leaders are aware of the benefits of taking care of themselves, as well as others.

Managers and leaders can also keep watch over working conditions that could pose mental health risks, such as unfair or overly large workloads being placed onto one person.  They should help to identify and address changes in employees’ behaviour, such as excessive tiredness, or unpredictable mood swings.

The Role of Employee Counselling

Effective counselling can form a hugely beneficial ‘next step’ in an established wellbeing programme, offering vital, objective support to those employees who need it the most.

Far from just ‘listening’ (although this is hugely important in itself), counselling is a proven stress-relieving strategy that offers a safe and confidential space for people to share their issues with a qualified therapist, so they can feel able to face life’s challenges in a more positive and proactive way.

All About People comprise a friendly team of experienced therapists who are qualified in diverse, specialised areas of mental health, so the most appropriate level of support can be both determined and provided.  Recently, we have joined forces with Next Steps Consulting, a dedicated and successful consultancy that specialises in organisational transformation and wellbeing.

Together, our values are simple and shared: we work knowledgeably alongside our clients, putting the needs of their organisation and employees first. To find out more about our tailored employee counselling services, please contact either Miriam Bannon at All About People on 01926 882521 or Gemma Carter-Morris at Next Steps Consulting on 0800 4880 851.

Have you ever felt the disturbing sensation of feeling completely alone in a bustling crowd of people?

It’s a completely different feeling from spending an evening at home, with only yourself for company.  For some people – particularly those with young children – the prospect of that could actually be classed as luxury!

The problem with loneliness today, is that we’re more visibly connected than ever before.  In a world where a single person can have thousands of social media followers, there’s no need for anybody to feel lonely any more.

Isn’t there?

As we make more and more ‘friends’ online, it seems we’re gradually isolating ourselves from the real world.  More than a quarter of UK households consist of just one person, and that figure is predicted to increase over the next decade.

The case for solitude

Of course, living on your own doesn’t mean you’re automatically lonely.  Lots of people enjoy their own company, while solitude is an often-quoted motivator for producing creative work.

But the main difference between loneliness and being alone is choice.  It’s one thing to choose your own precious moments of solitude and privacy, and another to have them forced upon you, because you don’t feel meaningfully connected with anybody else.

The fight against loneliness

David Halpern, who heads up the UK Government’s Behavioural Insights Team, has spent years studying social isolation.

He concluded that: “if you have got someone who loves you, someone you can talk to if you have got a problem, that is a more powerful predictor of whether you will be alive in 10 years’ time, more than almost any other factor, certainly more than smoking.”

If that sounds dramatic, consider the point that we humans are naturally social animals.  Doctors have known for years that loneliness is bad for us, and they also know that, in most cases, social media just isn’t enough of a remedy.

Extending the hand of friendship

Genuine connections are key to reducing social isolation.  If you don’t feel you have enough of those, a good start could be to make more small talk with others throughout your day, rather than browsing social media feeds.

Prioritise real friendships that make you smile, even if that means scheduling in a weekly phone call with someone who lives far away.

Instead of fretting about feeling lonely, and letting those thoughts overwhelm you, try to find a habit you can lose yourself in for a while – or even sign up for a new class.

And don’t forget to extend the hand of friendship to others whenever you can, too.  A smile or a few words can be all that’s needed to make another person feel noticed and included in life – whether they enjoy their own company, or not.

If you’re concerned about feelings of loneliness, for yourself or somebody else, All About People offer a friendly, qualified and non-judgemental counselling service for you to talk openly, and in comfort.  To find out more, or to arrange a session, please get in touch.

If you’re used to thinking about perfectionism as a weakness, you may be surprised to know that there’s an upside to having high standards.

The reason?  Just as there’s more than one brand of toothpaste, there’s more than one kind of perfectionist.

The bad versus the good

We’ve all heard the warnings that come with describing yourself as someone who has to get absolutely everything right.

In these cases, perfectionism can be a genuine burden; an emotionally aggressive trait that can bring on stress, and even burnout, from the constant pressure of trying to meet those impossible expectations you’ve placed on yourself.

There’s probably no need to add that if you’re unlucky enough to work alongside someone who displays those inflexible Type-A tendencies, you could also suffer from the anxiety and exhaustion that come from attempting to live up to their impossible standards.

But what if those standards and expectations aren’t impossible, merely high?

A recent in-depth study of perfectionism, carried out by professors at the University of Bath, and York St. John University, concluded that setting high standards, and pro-actively working towards set goals “may help maintain a sense of accomplishment and delay the debilitating effects of burnout”.

In short, being a ‘good’ perfectionist could actually help you achieve success.

It’s all about balance

As we’ve seen, there’s nothing wrong with working hard, and striving towards a goal.  But if you’re worried about setting the bar too high without realising, it could be a good idea to take some time out and reflect.

For example, are you working to your own standards, or do you feel pressure to be “the best” from someone else, such as a family member or a work colleague?  Do you leave work every day silently begging for more rest, as you fret about all those tasks that you couldn’t find enough time to finish?  Do you constantly push others to achieve unrealistic results?

Perfect perfectionism

The holy grail of perfectionism is to remain self-aware, and exercise a non-judgemental approach – towards yourself as well as others.

So as you work towards that brand-new goal, set yourself and others realistic, achievable standards (they can still be high if you want them to be!)

Recognise that there may come a time when you’ll have to delegate, ask for help, deal with negative feedback, or adjust your plans to take account of unexpected changes or mistakes.  That isn’t failure, it’s flexible preparation.

Instead of adopting a harsh “all or nothing” mentality, give yourself permission to enjoy the feeling of growth, and of learning something new, rather than always focusing on the end result.

(Oh, and don’t forget to celebrate your successes when they come!)

If you’re worried about the effects of perfectionism on your life, or are concerned about a loved one, All About People are here to help and support you.

Our friendly team offer a confidential, qualified, and non-judgemental counselling service that focuses completely on you.  To find out more, or to arrange a session, please get in contact.

Talking about personal mental health issues has become more and more common in recent years.  So much so, that celebrities no longer shy away from the subject.

In fact, you might even be forgiven for thinking that suffering from a mental health issue has taken on a sheen of high-status glamour.

The media seems ever quick and eager to jump on the latest high-profile stories, from the Instagram star Kendall Jenner’s admission of “full-on panic attacks”, to Prince Harry breaking with royal protocol to open up about the depressive effects of his unprocessed grief.  Meanwhile, inciting subjects including eating disorders, knife crime, and domestic violence have been flitting in and out of the headlines.

There’s no doubt that some people will find comfort in this type of media coverage, particularly if they are suffering from similar issues themselves.  But headlines and stories are painfully fleeting, and it is becoming all too common to see serious topics summarised and glossed over, for the benefit of a quick coffee-time read.

So perhaps we need to ask ourselves: what happens when the cameras stop rolling, and the journalists pack away their notepads?

Far from being trendy and glamorous, in reality mental health issues are often complex, messy, and debilitating – not to mention unbearably frightening.

It seems obvious to say that putting your whole life on hold because you feel indescribably lonely, or you are unable to get out of bed, with suicidal thoughts that mean you are never sure if you will make it through another day, is far from desirable.  Families and relationships can be destroyed, studies can be disrupted, jobs and financial security can be lost, taking with them the promise of a stable, ‘normal’ future.

We need to remember that for many people, terrifying thoughts and feelings like these are not going to be resolved within the confines of a celebrity confession, or a five-minute news story.  The people who suffer from domestic violence or anorexia will continue to do so long after the media have lost interest.

Meanwhile, many sufferers will remain silent, too scared to ask for the help they need, or perhaps even believing that such help doesn’t exist.

Consider the tragic story of the former Love Island contestant Mike Thalassitis, who sadly took his life earlier this year.  ITV have since pledged to improve the aftercare received by its reality TV stars, by actively offering support to all participants, “not just those who ask for it”.

Perhaps this is an approach we can all take.  Remaining vigilant of the needs of the people we love, and encouraging them to talk about their feelings – no matter what hot issue happens to be trending on Twitter at the moment.

Working with a trained therapist can also be very beneficial, from a safe and confidential space where intense feelings can be explored, understood, and managed.

While mental health issues will always be with us, help is always available.  Our friendly team at All About People are on hand to listen to and support you whenever you are ready, and without any need for sensational headlines.

In the second of our short series of articles focused on transgender therapy, we have attempted to demystify the therapeutic process a little.

Our first article in this series introduced you to our specialist Gemma Hammond, who works with people experiencing gender identity issues.  Gemma uses a range of integrative therapies to build rapport and understanding with people who are exploring their gender, those who have decided to change their gender, and those who have transitioned.

Here, Gemma provides some insight into what goes on behind the door to her therapy room, with help from an example case study.

About Gemma’s approach

I tailor my therapeutic approach to best support every client’s individual needs, working in an integrative way that uses Person Centred and CBT methods.

Most of all, I move away from clinical language wherever I can, and the atmosphere I create is one of empathetic acceptance.  This helps people to relax and explore their feelings, in the knowledge that they are in a safe, confidential and comfortable space.

A therapy case study

I received the initial assessment from a private referral, as a recommendation from another counsellor.

My client was in a teenager and came to me with issues of low self-esteem and high levels of anxiety.  They were experiencing panic attacks, with periods of low mood and distress that they expressed through self-harm.

In particular, my client wanted to work out the reason why they were feeling so low.  They wanted to reduce their anxiety, and to stop self-harming.

On the road to progress

During our work together, my client kept a diary, to help build a picture of their daily anxiety levels, panic attacks, quality of sleep and instances of self-harm.  Through this, we were able to start challenging their negative thoughts, and to work out strategies to manage their self-harming.

We took some therapy time to explore my client’s self-criticism.  For example, their inner voice constantly told them that they were worthless, ugly and unlovable, and exploring these feelings of shame became an important part of our work.

As our sessions continued, my client began to question the validity of this harmful inner dialogue, and the result was that their self-esteem began to improve.

My client was then able to start exploring their feelings about being disconnected from their gender, and of not belonging in their own body.

Before therapy, my client felt that they should hide these feelings, for fear of rejection.  However, they were now beginning to believe that they deserved more.

Therapy outcomes

Our therapeutic relationship helped to provide a consistently safe space for my client, in which they could “practise” being themselves without judgement.

This ongoing exploration of their feelings became an empowering process for my client, and they eventually made the courageous decision to share their feelings about their gender with a close friend, and in turn, close family members.

Our therapy sessions then became a secure space in which my client could discuss the reactions they received, along with their own worries and questions around figuring out who they really wanted to be.

We then explored how they wanted to express their evolving gender identity, including their preferred name and the pronoun they would like to use.  At the same time, my client talked through the blocks they experienced around ‘owning’ their identity, and where they felt comfortable sharing this with other people.

Using signposting, my client also connected with online support in the trans community, which helped them share their experience with others without fear of judgement or rejection.

One of the key developments from our therapy was my client’s realisation that although they wanted acceptance from others, it was their acceptance of self that was the priority. As this self acceptance grew, so did their self esteem and confidence.

They were finally able to refocus vital emotional energy on expressing their real self, and begin to embrace their empowering journey.

To arrange an appointment with Gemma, or to find out more about the confidential services we offer at All About People, please contact us.

A recent enquiry into health and social care support for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/Transsexual plus (LGBT+) communities has fuelled accusations that the NHS is treating the needs of trans people in particular as “less important” than those of the wider population.

Evidence was collected from more than 60 different groups, leading the head of parliament’s Women and Equalities Committee to suggest that the NHS is not delivering.

Mental health services in particular were recognised as being “stretched to breaking point”, with year-long waiting lists for treatment in some cases.

Services for trans people were described as “going backwards” over the past four years, with one in five LGBT+ respondents also explaining that they had experienced discrimination by their GP or a member of practice staff.

A lack of education was suggested as one of the primary causes. NHS staff have been accused of not showing enough understanding of transgender care, and resorting to a “one size fits all” approach to equality and diversity that takes little or no account of newly-recognised transgender care methods.

It was recognised, however, that the majority of health and social care staff do want to deliver the best possible service to LGBT+ and trans people, and that the vast majority are making their best effort.

At All About People, we believe that this begins with safety and acceptance. Ensuring a safe and confidential space for people to truly be themselves is essential, particularly when they are struggling with their sense of identity.  No matter who we are, we all need to feel that we are accepted.

Having open conversations that move people away from formal definitions and overly clinical language are also essential in helping trans people – and their loved ones – to feel safer and more understood.

The LGBT+ equality charity Stonewall will be working with the new national advisor for LGBT+ healthcare, to address some of the findings revealed in the enquiry.  The Women and Equalities Committee is working on a full report into the stated issues, and are due to suggest their recommendations for ministers in the coming months.

If you are searching for a trans-friendly therapist and a safe, confidential space to explore your feelings, our friendly team at All About People includes qualified therapists who are experienced in working with trans people.

They offer a range of integrative therapies that are designed to build rapport and understanding with people who are exploring their gender, those who have decided to change their gender, and those who have transitioned.

We also offer a completely unbiased approach that ensures you will be accepted for the person you are, safe in the knowledge that somebody is on your side.

To arrange an appointment, or to find out more about the confidential services we offer at All About People, please contact us.

All About People is a Leamington Spa-based counselling practice that is dedicated to supporting people, so they can feel less alone and more at ease with themselves. Our team of therapists are qualified in a diverse range of therapeutic areas, and are able to offer experienced support for a wealth of issues.

We are proud to welcome Gemma Hammond as our latest addition to the All About People team. Gemma is an experienced therapist who specialises in working with people who suffer from gender identity issues, which is also known as gender identity dysphoria.

What is Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID)?
You would experience GID if you felt unhappy about living in accordance with the gender you were assigned at birth. It could be that you don’t identify with a particular gender at all, or that you were born male, but you identify as female (or vice versa).

Many people feel that their birth-assigned gender is not a complete match with the way they feel about themselves, and this can be very distressing. But instead of talking about their feelings, it is sadly all too common for people to keep their thoughts and feelings a secret, resigning themselves to live life inside a body they don’t identify as truly belonging to them.

Although the identity GID-sufferers present to the world every day feels almost unbearably false, they may worry about feeling accepted by those they love, if they were ever to reveal their true feelings.

Help is available
If you don’t personally suffer from GID, it can be hard to imagine the stress that can result from your sense of self not matching your physical being. But those feelings of distress are very real.

Everybody deserves to come out of the shadows and live their true life. At All About People, we can offer the unconditional acceptance, encouragement and guidance needed to do just that.

Gemma works confidentially with her clients from a safe and comfortable space in our Leamington Spa-based practice. She uses an holistic approach that helps people suffering from GID-related anxiety and depression, and a behavioural approach that brings self harm and suicidal thoughts safely into the open, so they can be properly explored and resolved.

Gemma also works with clients who are experiencing gender-associated relationship difficulties, as well as friends and family members who would like additional support with their loved one’s GID-related issues.

If you are currently exploring gender identity issues, you have decided to change your gender role and are transitioning, or you have fully transitioned, Gemma is able to provide qualified and experienced help and support.

There is no need for anybody to feel isolated or abnormal regarding their gender issues. In fact, Stonewall have coined an excellent phrase that sums up the way Gemma feels about helping and supporting her clients: “acceptance, no exceptions”.

To arrange an appointment, or to find out more about the confidential services we offer at All About People, please contact us.

Do you remember how it felt to be a child, as you learned all the confusing ways of the world?

As a parent, it can be hard to cast your mind back to those childhood days, especially when so much has changed since then.  So when you notice your own child not wanting to go out, or not seeming quite themselves, you may not be sure if their behaviour is normal, or indicative of something more serious.

Children’s mental health has received a lot of press attention recently.  Statistics tell us that one in ten children and young people are affected by issues including depression and anxiety, often as a direct response to things that are happening in their lives.

It’s normal to feel concerned.  After all, you want your child to grow into a well-rounded and healthy adult.  But you’re also aware that certain behaviour, such as fretting about exams or feeling upset after a row with a friend, is just a normal part of growing up.

So, how can you tell if your child needs some more help?

What you should look out for

Does it seem like your child is feeling low all the time, for no obvious reason?  Have they recently changed their friendship group, or have they suddenly altered their behaviour (such as going from sociable to shy)?  If so, it might be time to check in with them.

Low motivation, talking negatively about themselves, or behaving in disruptive ways are also potential signs of something more serious.

While you can make positive changes to your child’s diet and ensure they are getting enough rest, the most important thing you can do is to make your child feel comfortable about regularly sharing their thoughts and feelings.

This doesn’t have to be a ‘serious’ conversation – start by simply asking them to tell you about their day, perhaps over dinner (this can have the added bonus of keeping them away from social media for a while).  You could also encourage them to take up a new hobby, such as dancing, martial arts or writing.

Help is always available

If these methods aren’t working, it may be time to look for professional help, such as counselling.

You may feel that this is a hard decision to make, but getting to the root of a mental health issue early enough can make an enormous difference to your child’s wellbeing.   Try not to let stigma, or your own fear of ‘failing’ as a parent, keep you from taking that important step.  In fact, by recognising that your child needs to explore their feelings in more detail, you are being a caring and supportive parent.

There are many available routes, such as talking to your GP, or to your child’s school.  You also have the option of consulting a professional therapist who specialises in counselling for children, which offers your child a safe and confidential space to talk freely about their thoughts and feelings.

All About People are a friendly team of trained and experienced therapists, some of whom are specifically qualified in working alongside children and young people.  We take time to match the right therapist to the needs of each child, and appointments can even be conducted via FaceTime or over the telephone if needed.

Please contact us for further information.

If you had a mental health issue you needed to discuss, where would you turn to first?

You might begin by confiding in a close family member or a trusted friend, before finally contacting your GP for qualified help.

This is a familiar scenario, at least judging by the results from a recent survey conducted by mental health charity Mind. 66% of GPs have reported that the number of patients they see in relation to mental health has increased in the past year. Additionally, 40% of GP appointments made now directly involve the patient’s mental health.

Following the survey, Mind has called for better mental health training for GPs, with full support of four out of five doctors. It is very encouraging that doctors themselves recognise that their own knowledge and confidence about mental health issues make a huge difference to the patients they see.

If you are worried about making an appointment with your GP to discuss a mental health problem, you can perhaps feel reassured that the vast majority of GPs will be properly informed about, and understanding of, mental health issues. They should begin by asking questions that will help them identify how they can best support you. This may include referring you for additional therapy, if you and they feel that this is needed.

Your local GP, therefore, is a good starting point if you’re feeling unsure about where to turn. To help ease any anxiety, you might find it helpful to write down some of the things you’d like to talk about before your appointment, such as the specific symptoms and feelings you are experiencing.

If you would rather not visit your GP at all, then you can choose to speak directly with a trained therapist. This can be especially helpful in exploring more in-depth cases, since an appointment with a therapist will last for a longer period of time than a standard GP appointment. Contrary to popular belief, as long as you are willing to meet the costs of therapy then there is no need for a GP referral.

Although this approach gives you the freedom and space to talk with whomever you choose, you should ensure that your preferred therapist is appropriately accredited, experienced and qualified in the therapy they provide. Before you make your first appointment, it may also be helpful to find out where they choose to work from, how long they have been established, and read through any testimonials from their previous clients.

However you decide to approach the subject of your mental health, the most important message is that help and support is always available – even if you don’t feel that your GP is the most appropriate person to speak with.

All About People are friendly team of experienced and accredited therapists, with comfortable offices based in Leamington Spa. We are also very happy to arrange telephone or FaceTime appointments for those who prefer to remain in the comfort of their home.

Our services are comfortable, confidential, and completely focused on you. To find out more, or to arrange an appointment, please get in touch.

Mental health is a trending topic at the moment. So much so that Lloyds Bank has launched a national campaign in an attempt to tackle its effects, in partnership with the charity Mental Health UK.

While efforts such as these are admirable, unfortunately the stigma attached to mental health continues to be alive and well.

According to the national voluntary sector campaign Time to Change, around one in four people will experience a mental health problem this year. Yet a huge 90% of people with mental health problems “experience some form of stigma, whether from friends and family, at work, in education or during treatment.” Broken relationships, forgotten friendships and lost careers can all result from the stigma that surrounds mental health issues.

Ironically, the shame that so often surrounds mental health issues can be worse than the issues themselves. This is compounded when people are too terrified to speak out, trying desperately to maintain a ‘normal’ life as their internal world falls apart.

Many mental health issues are widely misunderstood, which can contribute to the stigma they receive. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a good example; how many times have you heard somebody telling you that they’re a “little bit OCD” about cleanliness or order?

In fact, OCD is a genuine mental illness that can wreak serious destruction on the lives of those who suffer from it. While OCD appears to be widespread, in fact only around 1% of the population will experience it.

A recent Time to Change survey showed that 60% of people with a mental health problem waited until at least a year had passed to tell the people closest to them about it. That’s a very long time to try holding everything together all by yourself, and if you are struggling in this situation then it is worth considering that there is a wealth of support available to you.

It’s time for our society’s attitudes and responses to mental health to change for good. So let’s all resolve to try. As a starting point, simply being open, non-judgemental and unafraid to discuss mental health issues go a very long way to challenging the stigma they so often receive.

After all, with so many people suffering from mental health issues in the UK alone, who is anybody to say it’s “not OK?”

Finally, if you’re still feeling alone with your issues, it may help to remember that the people chosen to take on life’s most powerful and high-profile positions are just as vulnerable to mental health problems. Winston Churchill famously described depression as his “black dog”, while in Norway, Prime Minister Kjell Magne Bondevik took three weeks of sick leave following a depressive episode. Far from being vilified, Bondevik reported receiving “thousands of supportive letters”.

Whether you are suffering from a mental health issue or are worried about somebody else who might be, All About People provide a safe and completely confidential counselling service. Our team of experienced therapists are trained in a range of therapeutic approaches, and are ready and waiting to listen to you.