Notice the weight of your past,
alive and well in this room —
waiting, hoping, praying to be released
in a community of loving peers.

What does it feel like
to have made it so far,
to have done so much
in the face of so much suffering?

How did you do it
while carrying so much
with so little support,
refusing to give up along the way?

Have you taken a moment
to honor that little one
down in the well,
treading water to serve you?

Have you taken the time
to feel what lives
beneath the surface,
waiting to finally be heard?

Perhaps today is the day
that old way of being
can finally be laid down
and allow you to rest.

When it finally lets go,
the emptiness that emerges
will feel like dancing on
the edge of a black hole.

If you sit with it long enough,
the younger you will come home;
trusting they are finally safe,
the search for what’s possible begins.

The courage it will take to become
the leader you’ve always longed for
is nothing compared to
the courage it took to make it here today.

On the other side of the dark abyss
is an unbearably beautiful future;
the life you sensed waiting
for you to arrive at last.

An original poem by Barrett Brooks

The post An Unbearably Beautiful Future appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

Annual reviews are some of my favorite essays to read from friends and some of the best and most valuable research I do for interviews on my podcast. Seeing someone’s life over many years summarized through their own eyes and words is one of the most powerful ways to understand their growth, challenges, and triumphs over time.

Before you read, I want to name what this is (and what it isn’t).

This isn’t a highlight reel. It’s not a manifesto on how to lead. It’s not a posturing attempt to sound like I have life figured out.

It’s simply my attempt to tell the truth about a year that changed me. It’s written primarily for me, but with publishing for you as a close secondary goal.

Some of what follows is about work. And some of it is about the parts of life that don’t politely stay in the background while you’re trying to build a business: marriage, parenting, grief, stress, travel, and the quiet daily work of staying human.

If any of this helps you reflect on your own year with a little more courage and gentleness, then sharing it will have been worth it. And of course, if parts don’t resonate or serve you, please feel free to skip or leave them to the side.

I’ve broken this down into the following areas, broadly categorized as Work and Life:

Work

• Clients – how my coaching work grew
• Content – what I made – the podcast, newsletter, poetry, and social media
• Team – who made it all possible
• Books – the books I most enjoyed this year
• Building for the Future – what’s next

Life

• Family – the hardest year of my life
• Community – the people and communities who supported me
• Wellbeing – how I (tried) to sustain myself
• Travel & adventure – the exhausting year in travel
• Finances – how our money felt this year

CLIENTS

My client work this year changed what I believe is possible through coaching, grew my confidence in my ability to facilitate change, and gave me visibility into the inner lives of some of the most popular creative entrepreneurs in the world.

I worked with dance studio owners around the world, a private equity group working to grow the impact of creator-led businesses in publishing, homesteading, and growth, an organization working to provide information and routes to freedom for North Koreans, and two of the preeminent minds in modern productivity. I worked with clients across food, marketing, productivity, YouTube, entrepreneurship, dance, travel, food access, homesteading, and publishing.

My clients have a collective audience of tens of millions of people — that’s totaling up each client’s largest platform, not all platforms. And as I have settled into my career as a coach, what I have realized is that my biggest lever for impact is in helping entrepreneurs find peace and wholeness in their inner world so that they can sustain their incredible success. In the process, the way they lead their teams and audiences will shape many, many more lives than I can impact directly. What an incredible privilege.

What is more important to me than the reach or scale of my work or that of my clients is the depth of transformation I help people through. This year, I helped the leaders I coach:

• Hire a new CEO to lead a new chapter of growth for their company
• Go from losing tens of thousands of dollars per month to hiring a team and GM that now manages a cash-flow-positive business
• Grow their sense of confidence and self-worth in order to start asking for what they have earned from sponsors, book publishers, and agents
• Take their first real vacations and holiday breaks in many years
• Establish and expand completely new lines of business aligned to what they value most
• Develop new concepts for upcoming books to follow their previous bestsellers
• Land and deliver their first or most meaningful speaking gigs
• Transform their teams to allow the CEO to finally start acting as and performing the role of CEO

And in the process of all of the important change above, every single one of my clients’ businesses has grown in audience and revenue.

My clients have healthier balance, more profit, more productive conflict and feedback conversations, stronger and kinder inner voices, greater sense of purpose, and a better recognition of their wealth and impact. Across the board I see them making decisions based on what they value more than what they think they “should” do based on external validation or mimetic desire.

All of this and more is why I believe in my profession and feel more called to this work than ever before. I have found work that uses all of my gifts to make the deepest possible impact on individual lives of anything I have ever done.

So many entrepreneurs and gurus say “don’t trade time for money,” but I can’t imagine doing anything more important with my time than working 1:1 with world-class creators and entrepreneurs.

CONTENT

One of my own areas of growth over these past couple of years has been embracing my creativity and the power of my voice. For over a decade I both had a deep desire to grow an audience for my writing and also made decisions that put me behind the scenes of businesses led by people with audiences.

In 2024 my goal was to earn the right to invest more heavily in content by being consistent. I did that, so in 2025, I took on a big project to give myself a home on the internet for the next decade. Working with Felice della Gatta, the talented designer, we created a new BarrettBrooks.com to house my writing, podcast, and coaching work. I’m incredibly happy with the result, which allowed us to collapse two websites into one.

The design project took longer than expected, which meant we took a six-month break from the podcast instead of a six-week break. That was largely a function of other life stuff plus the normal project delays you expect.

So accomplishment one: a new home on the web.

Newsletter

On top of that, I settled into a newsletter format that finally feels like a match for my writing style and my business. I published 31 editions of Little Leadership Lessons this year, which now contains the universal lesson from a single client coaching session. The feedback has been that each newsletter feels highly relevant to entrepreneurs because it comes from the real problems of a fellow leader.

My favorite editions of the newsletter this year were:

• 38 Lessons on Life, Work, Love, and Adventure
• The Delegation Dilemma Every Creator-CEO Faces
• 7 Principles for Leading in Times of Crisis
• Are You in Growth Mode or Profit Mode?
• Stop Acting It Out; Say What You Want
• You Already Know What to Do, So Why Aren’t You Doing It?
• Chop Wood, Carry Water

Poems

I published my first ever poems this year. These feel the most vulnerable to publish of anything I have ever written. But they also feel the most true to my inner world, which means they must be shared:

• Around a Fire
• Sunrise Over Bend of Ivy
• Questions from a Walk
• Who Are You?

Podcast

My podcast, Good Work, continued this year as well. It got a refreshed and refined look along with the new website. The bear mascot is gone and against everything I said I would do, I put my face front and center. Why? Because I realized keeping my face off the cover was like painting a piece of art but not being willing to sign it. My face front and center reflects a wider arc of growth within me to fully acknowledge my own value and own my story in public. I’m proud of the outward reflection of my inner growth.

This last sentence reflects the tagline I’ve settled on for the show: Good Work: The Inner Journey of Outward Success.

I now think of every episode as an audio-biography of a leader I admire for their work and life. My goal is to capture a portrait of the people who most inspire me, including the people, experiences, ideas, and places that have most shaped the person they have become.

I still do my signature in-depth research. I look for the questions and topics all of their other interviews have missed. I look for the heart of the story, and therefore the person. The process is like putting together a puzzle of each guest’s identity and life.

My goal is to make each episode the most enjoyable interview my guest has ever done because it honors who they are, it reflects all of the work they have already shared, and it breaks new ground in their own understanding of their story. I think I have found the flow and format that best does this. And in the process I have settled in as an interviewer and conversational partner.

Like a great memoir, I believe every episode allows listeners — you — to hear, in the specifics of this person’s life, the lessons, ideas, and unlocks that you most need. The show honors your intelligence and inner wisdom to take what you need from each episode without being spoon-fed how-to’s and instructional advice that likely will not solve your unique challenges. You already know what you need to do to get what you want. The show surrounds you with a group of peers and mentors sharing stories of how they did what they knew their soul needed in order to become what it was made for.

Here are the episodes we published this year:

• Ankur Nagpal, on what comes after you make hundreds of millions of dollars from your company
• Pat Flynn, the creator economy OG, on why Pokémon has reconnected him to what he loves about making things online
• Kieran Snyder, my mentor and teacher, on the courage it took to step down as CEO of her own startup
• Justin Moore, the most trusted advisor on sponsorships, on the heartbreak and self-doubt and reinvention of entrepreneurship
• Ann Brooks, my mom and experienced executive, on everything you learn in 30 years of leading in the corporate world
• Bonnie Wan, the advertising savant turned author and guide, on what it takes to find out what you really want in life
• Tina Tower, teacher of entrepreneurship to women around the world, on what it finally took to stop running herself into the ground while running her business
• Matt D Smith, the designer’s designer, on how he has learned to work with his desire for external validation (THIS ONE WAS MOST POPULAR ON SPOTIFY)
• Me, interviewed by James Clear, bestselling author of Atomic Habits, on my own story of learning to process pain and move beyond it to find my path
• Mike MacDonald, Seattle Seahawks head coach, on stepping into the key leadership role of a storied sports franchise while leading authentically – (THIS ONE WAS THE MOST VIEWED YOUTUBE EPISODE)
• Ami Vitale, renowned Nat Geo photographer, on what war zones do to your humanity and how nature helped her find her voice and soul again
• Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art…, on returning to his roots as a creator with YouTube
• Emily Anhalt, psychologist and author, on why processing grief is an essential skill for any entrepreneur
• Jeff Sheldon, founder of beloved product company Ugmonk, on prioritizing craft when the entire modern world is pushing for scale
• Parker Palmer, legendary 86-year-old author and teacher, on the wisdom and learning of a life spent in deep conversation with himself and others

As I type this list out on my new 1937 Corona typewriter I got for Christmas (shout out to my wife Nicole for the thoughtful research and incredible gift), I see the inherent value of each one of these humans. I see their stories in my mind. I see how they have shaped, inspired, and challenged me to grow.

And I see that I am in the middle of building the body of work I have always hoped for with this show. One that will change people’s lives for the better if they’ll lend me their time and their ears or eyes.

This year I also realized that if I want to be in this for the long haul, I need a pace I can maintain. From the beginning I have wanted to grow the show to hundreds of thousands of downloads per episode. I still do. And also I know that may take a decade or more. To get there I’ll need resources (time, money, people) I don’t have right now. So how do I want to be in the meantime?

Do I want to compare myself to DOAC or Modern Wisdom or Brené or Adam Grant? Yes, but I don’t have the time or budget to produce at the frequency or scale they do.

Instead I’m choosing to go slower for now so I can stay in the game long enough to win. I’ve gone to one episode every two weeks, which reflects how much I hear listeners can tune in and how much I can reliably produce (for now). This might limit growth but it doesn’t change the quality of any given conversation, which is my ongoing metric.

Here are a few stats from this year:

• Lifetime downloads (audio): 79,936
• 2025 downloads: 22,746
• Lifetime YouTube plays: 48,500
• 2025 YouTube plays: 24,600

Two things seem true to me:

• The present and future of podcasts is video.
• It’s going to take a ton of effort to grow audience for the show; the best place to chase that growth is almost certainly YouTube.

And a bonus: people watch about 12-15 minutes on average before giving up on a video on YouTube. 20% of viewers made it halfway through my interview with Mike MacDonald, which is now our most popular episode. 11% watched to the end. We’re going to have to drastically alter our strategy if we believe video is the future.

Social Media

Lastly on the content front was social media. For far too long I’ve scoffed at the game of social media and for far too long I’ve grown no social media following as a result. The reality is that I want my work to reach many, many, many more people. And you all hang out on social media, just like the rest of the world. So I cannot simultaneously want more reach and not want to play the game.

This year I decided to sign up to play the game and to do it in a way that spreads more wholeness, hope, and peace rather than triggering, shocking, and scaring people. This makes the game harder. And that’s OK.

Step one was picking where I want to play. Twitter had historically been my biggest platform and also I had grown to hate it. So I quit over a year ago and decided to start from scratch on Instagram as well as expand my focus on LinkedIn. I knew I wouldn’t have the time or attention to do both well on my own, so I asked for help instead.

Andrew Fink has been running my LinkedIn account and the team at Ampersand Studios have been running my Instagram account. We’ve developed a great workflow that leverages notes and summaries from my coaching work, Marco Polo for spoken word, in-person filming sessions, and a lot of iteration.

Our goals right now are focused on reach and followers. This is not because reach is most important, but because we can’t achieve our more important goals without first achieving reach.

We’re right in the middle of figuring out how to increase reach. That includes the hardest part of all, which is finding a set of core topics and expertise, or rather ways of capturing my expertise, that resonate with an audience. And not just any audience, but talented and capable entrepreneurs. This is a game worth winning because it will expand the ways in which I can help create transformation in the lives of entrepreneurs and leaders. The one drawback to coaching 1:1 is that I can only work with about 12 clients at a time. Media gives us the chance to help many thousands at once.

Here’s where we stand at the end of the year:

• Instagram followers: just over 1,000
• LinkedIn followers: just under 4,000
• Newsletter subscribers: just under 2,500

Relative to the reach of my clients, this feels comically small. But as I have often preached, everyone has to get to 1,000 before they get to 10,000 before they get to 100,000, etc. And so we start now for the benefit of the change we can make ten years from now.

TEAM

My team this year consisted of contractors and agencies supporting different aspects of my business.

The first and most consistent teammate for the past two years has been my executive assistant, Cheryl Harris. She first came across my radar in applying for an EA role working with me at Kit. She was the first person I called after launching my coaching practice in 2023. She has led client experience, podcast guest experience, inbox management, and she’s been the keeper of my calendar. Her support helped me get to this point and laid the groundwork to hire a full-time in-person executive business partner entering 2026. If you’re a creator who could use a great EA, I would highly recommend Cheryl.

I continued my work with Adam Clark and his team at Podcast Royale for podcast production. I added help from Andrew Fink on LinkedIn, Ampersand Studios for Instagram, and Felice della Gatta for the design and build of my new website. All of these folks have been critical to getting the business to this point and I wouldn’t be able to work a full client load, produce content, and speak to entrepreneurs or train fellow coaches without them.

Lastly, the most exciting team development of the year was my wife, Nicole Brooks, joining to lead marketing and growth. For many years we’ve said it would be impossible for us to work together, but this year something changed and we felt like it was the right time to give it a try.

Initially we decided to make our work together a six-month experiment before committing long term. After the experiment went well, we decided to make this a permanent move and expand her role, which I’ll highlight in a moment. It’s been fun to connect with other couples who have worked together about how to do it well.

I highlight the team behind what I do because I think there’s a mythical idea out there that somehow you can magically run this kind of business alone. I find that it’s not possible to do it all alone and I can only achieve my goals by building a team. This year I spent $6k–10k per month on the team because I believe it will help me reach my goals faster and also stay more sane along the way.

BOOKS

I read 20 books in 2025, which is the pace I’ve been keeping for a few years now. I used to aim for a book a week and usually landed in the 35-40 books per year range. Then I had kids!

Here were the books I read that felt worthy of high recommendation:

1. In An Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness by Peter A. Levine — a fantastic read for anyone who works in coaching, therapy, or somatic healing; also a great read for anyone who has experienced trauma and believes it affects their body today
2. Shogun Pt 1 and Shogun Pt 2 by James Clavell — even better than the fantastic FX series by the same name; perhaps my favorite fiction in 5+ years
3. The Audience is Listening: A Little Guide to Building a Big Podcast by Tom Webster — niche read for anyone who wants to build a podcast with a dedicated and growing audience by a radio and podcast industry insider (HT to Clay Hebert for sending me this one)
4. The Way Forward by Yung Pueblo — modern poetry from one of my favorite contemporary poets and leaders
5. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott — somehow I waited a decade after buying the book to finally take it off the shelf; a delightful read for anyone aspiring to write or write more or write better
6. A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life by Parker Palmer — a guided methodology for connecting more deeply with your soul in community with others; perfect for coaches, community leaders, and facilitators
7. History Matters by David McCullough — a posthumous collection of essays and speeches from one of the greatest historians and biographers of all time, compiled by his daughter and long-time research assistant (HT to Josh Scott for sending me this one)

I owe an update to my 100 best books of all time list. Coming soon.

BUILDING FOR THE FUTURE

Two things became very clear to me this year:

• I love 1:1 coaching
• It is very taxing for all of my income to come from 1:1 coaching

There is a limit to the number of clients I can work with from a mental and emotional bandwidth perspective. And then there are the logistical challenges that come when I take vacation, speak at conferences, or train other coaches. I either lose a week of income or we have to cram additional sessions into the time I have available, which often doesn’t work well for clients or me.

You might rightly say, “Well charge more then,” and that is good advice. I already charge in the 90th to 95th percentile of all coaches and work with clients at the top of their industries. To charge more I’ll need to grow my own notoriety, likely through writing books and growing a larger audience. I’ll also need to continue to work with entrepreneurs leading larger companies. This will take time and isn’t the best or most sustainable immediate path.

This conundrum led me to explore different ways of scaling revenue beyond 1:1 work. We tested group coaching and may return to it. We explored courses or asynchronous trainings but the online course industry has shrunk over the last couple of years and also requires a large audience to be sustainable. We’ll likely do both long-term but neither felt as optimal as a new opportunity that came my way.

In August 2024, my mentor Bebe Hansen approached me about becoming her successor at Presence-Based Coaching, the ICF-accredited coach certification training where I trained. Over the course of a year, most of 2025, we explored this possibility together. I ran numbers, I considered what my vision would be for the organization, and I trained as a trainer.

The more I researched the industry and spent time reflecting on my strengths, the more excited I got. PBC is one of the longest running and most respected training institutes in an industry that continues to grow rapidly with no signs of slowing down. It is based in neuroscience, somatic awareness, and emotional intelligence — a rare blend for a training program. And most importantly, it is effective at helping students build the skills, inner awareness, and confidence to become great coaches.

This also creates a more scalable path for impact and revenue.

My biggest career event of this year was making the decision to buy Presence-Based Coaching, become Bebe’s successor, and expand my business into coach and leadership training.

Presence-Based Coaching will offer:

• Level 1 Coach Training
• Level 2 Coach Training
• Leadership training for entrepreneurs, creators, and founders
• Team-based leadership training within established organizations
• Coaching for developing coaches

All of this represents a huge opportunity on many fronts. It gives me a company within which to grow as a leader. It gives us a way to grow revenue and impact without being limited by my personal capacity. And it will open up many more opportunities for others to do work within the organization as trainers, coaches, and staff members over time.

Most exciting is the opportunity to continue and build on a legacy at a storied organization and build it into the type of company I have always longed to work for.

A huge component of this will be my wife Nicole stepping into the new company full-time to apply all of her extensive experience leading teams and her natural brilliance to lead growth and marketing for PBC.

This feels like the most important work of my career to date and an opportunity to grow something meaningful for the next decade or more.

FAMILY

This was the most difficult family year of my life. This was the year that showed me how much I can carry. It was the year that broke me into a million pieces so that I could put myself back together in a way that is more true, more lasting, more whole.

I’m not entirely sure where to start here other than to say: damn. Sometimes life hits hard and it hits in waves. This happening at the same time that so many career opportunities came my way felt divine in nature. It gave me the opportunity to rise and to transform my inner world in a way that had been simmering for years.

Parenthood

Our children turned three and six this year. They went from sleeping on mattresses on our floor to sleeping in their own room, sometimes with us on their floor.

Our oldest entered Kindergarten at his Montessori preschool, but his best friend left for the local elementary school, which was so difficult on him. Our youngest started preschool at the Montessori preschool and learning that we are still here for him even though we drop him at school every day is still a work in progress.

I owe my life to these two gentle boys in so many ways. They have helped me heal, they have shown me what I am capable of, and they have taught me how much good is embedded in the human soul from birth. Far and away the most important role I play every day is as their father.

I am challenged by the moments when I feel frustrated, and within those I am most challenged when I respond to them in ways that are unkind, impatient, or not their fault. But more often than not I am present, I am connected, and I am rewriting the story I lived to get here through the way I parent and lead them.

I feel so thrilled, so privileged, to watch them grow. And I feel heartbroken by every inch taller they grow, every new milestone they hit, and every day that goes by because I know I will never get it back. What a gift to have something so precious that every moment matters.

Marriage

My life transformed the most this year in my marriage to Nicole. We experienced some of the most trying circumstances in our lives. It easily could have broken each of us individually and/or our marriage in the process. Instead, we turned the difficulty into a spark for growth and transformation.

We each healed parts of ourselves that have long cried out for support – wounds formed in early childhood that had yet to heal. We changed the way we love, changed the way we have conflict, and changed the way we live together.

When I look back at the beginning of the year and the end of the year in 2025, I believe we each learned to fully be loved. And thank God for that because we needed the strength for everything else we were faced with.

Extended Family

Listen, this section is sad. It was a hard year. If you are having a hard time right now in any way, but especially in dealing with grief or loss, maybe skip this section. Sometimes your own burdens are the only ones you can carry and that’s ok.

This year, we experienced:

• My father-in-law being hospitalized (he’s ok)
• My father’s Parkinson’s disease continuing to progress rapidly
• My grandfather dying of emphysema
• My mother-in-law being hospitalized (she’s ok)

Each of these instances was a stark reminder of the cliché preciousness of life… The short-term nature of our presence on this Earth… The fragility of love and the grief that inevitably awaits us all as we lose what we love over time.

And in its harshness, it was all beautiful. It taught me so much about how to be in the face of intense grief and loss.

Despite the Scares, My In-Laws are Well

We worried in both cases about my in-laws being hospitalized and were so thankful that neither case was serious. Hydration and physical therapy and more awareness are the extent of what’s needed for now in both cases.

My Dad’s Parkinson’s Got Worse

Dad is another case entirely. Parkinson’s is, of course, a degenerative disease. One whose path is relentless and unfair and heartbreaking. I know the party line is that “people don’t die of Parkinson’s” and “people often live for many years with the disease.” And that sets one up for a certain set of expectations for what the experience will be like. That does not match any of what we have been through.

Whether through circumstance or genetics or fate, my father’s Parkinson’s has led to rapid decline. He will most certainly be taken from us by complications of the disease and if we are given years in the plural it will feel as if we were given the gift of a miracle.

Just two years after diagnosis, he had to have a permanent feeding tube placed this past August. He does and will always receive all of his physical nourishment through this device. It’s hard to describe how heartbreaking it is to watch a man who was a competitive body builder and lifelong fitness enthusiast be forced to rely on the grace of others, primarily my mother / his wife, in order to live.

And yet he lives, which in the aftermath of the procedure did not seem likely. Parkinson’s is often accompanied by dementia, as is the case for Dad, who suffers from Alzheimer’s. And for those suffering from dementia, general anesthesia is brutal.

I spent ten days by his side as he recovered. On morning duty four days after he arrived at the rehab facility from the hospital, something was different. He had not been doing well, but that morning it was as if Dad was passing between eras and continents – as if he could see the other side of the veil in a way that worried me.

He spoke of being in England during war time, a place he had never been. He spoke of soccer games, which he has never watched. He asked if I would stay with him. If we had come to take him away. If it was time to go.

And that morning I thought we had reached the end. I called Mom to ask her to drop what she was doing and hurry over. I rubbed his feet and held his hand. I was practicing for what I didn’t yet know would be my job just two months later.

Then, that afternoon the nurses informed us they had received his meds in incorrect dosages (apparently he hadn’t been receiving them). They started him back on full dosage meds for Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s and anxiety. As if by a miracle, he settled. He recovered. And we began our path out of that godforsaken facility I hope I never step foot in again.

In all of this, I crossed a threshold of loss. It has been as if I’ve already lost him, although he’s still here. As if I know what it feels like even though I know I do not. Crossing that threshold means I know what is coming. Yet my job is to act as if I do not. And that middle ground is perhaps hardest of all.

Even now the tears come as I remember what it felt like to return home to Portland knowing he was stable. Stable in his decline. From a disease no one deserves to experience.

I Held O’Pa’s Hand While He Died

Two months later I returned to the East Coast, this time with Nicole and my boys in tow. We planned a week in Atlanta, followed by a long weekend at our family mountain cabin outside of Bryson City, North Carolina. Then I would trek on to Asheville solo for the concluding retreat of my advanced coach training with Presence-Based Coaching.

The night we arrived, we received news that O’Pa, my grandfather, had fallen the night before and hit his head. He had been suffering from emphysema for some time and had woken in the night to use the restroom. With the snap of two fingers, he went from living with a disease to bedridden and fighting for his life.

Sunday afternoon, we drove to Flowery Branch, Georgia to see him. All four of his daughters were there. Four of his seven grandchildren. His wife.

As we arrived, my uncle was walking to his car. I gave him a hug and said how sad it was to see each other in this way. For the first time, someone in the family said what no one was willing to admit. “I’d be surprised if he makes it through the night,” he said as he got in his car.

I’m not sure what I thought we were doing in going there. Supporting him as he recovered? Seeing the family? Doing our duty? But whatever I thought, I wasn’t willing to admit to myself that we were going there to be with him as he died.

When we arrived, I went in to see him and my cousin Brittany stood up from the bedside chair to let me sit with him. I held his hand. My mom and aunt and Nicole and I shared stories. We talked about what a joy Christmas was thanks to him. We talked about the treasure hunts he arranged around his property at Lake Lanier.

After sitting with him for a bit, I got up and Nicole replaced me to hold his hand for a while. O’Pa loved Nicole. He said she was beautiful (she’s right). He loved her personality (I have a feeling she reminds him of his daughters).

As I sat in the living room, I heard Nicole call to me that his breathing was slowing, so I went in. She gave me the seat back. That seat changed my life.

I held O’Pa’s hand. My aunts laid on the bed nearby. My mom stood behind me. I told him we would be ok. I told him he had done enough. That it was ok to rest. That he had lived a beautiful and joyful life. That he had taught us so much and given us so much.

I held his hand as he took his last breath. And I understood what it means to die. To be loved as you die. To be held and surrounded by your people. To complete a life.

O’Pa died on Sunday, October 5th 2025 in Flowery Branch, Georgia at the age of 92. He was surrounded by every member of his family that could physically get to his house. I held his hand. He was the best grandfather a boy could ask for, even if he was flawed as a husband and father. I miss him every day.

COMMUNITY

Community has always been important to me because I lacked supportive community for so much of my formative adolescence. I have tried to operate with a core belief that “everyone wants to be invited to something awesome, but most people don’t want to plan the “something awesome.””

This year I was fortunate to get to plan a lot of events, including:

• Entrepreneur(ial) breakfast club here in Portland – we met every two weeks all year long for the third year running! The group is larger and more diverse than ever before. If you’re a Portland entrepreneur who wants to join or visit the city on a Friday, get in touch and we’d love to have you.
• Pickledad’s – an evolving group of dads that mostly met through preschool and now gets together about once a month for pickleball and once a quarter for a nice dinner; men want to be in community, but we often don’t know how to get past the awkward phase – this group is committed to doing it anyways
• Fly Fishing the Deschutes – this year was the fourth annual fly fishing trip for a group of eight men from across the country. I started this trip because I wanted a way to stay in touch with and connect close friends from across the country. Now we chase Steelhead on the Lower Deschutes River every October in a tradition I hope lasts for decades.
• Creator Meetup at Craft + Commerce – my friend Shawn Blanc and I hosted an incredible private meetup for authors, creators, and entrepreneurs at Craft + Commerce in Boise in June; about 30 folks got together to form or deepen friendships and collaborations; I probably gained 8-10 meaningful new friendships from the event.

I also attended a few events put on by others this year:

• Tastemaker – I kicked the year off as the opening keynote speaker at Tastemaker, which was my second year in a row speaking at the premier event for food creators; I felt like I delivered an average quality talk that I wish I could do over again, but enjoyed being back in community with one of my favorite creator niches
• Camp Redwood – My second year at a gathering of scaling non-profit founders and chief executives hosted by New Story founder Brett Hagler and his wife Demi.
• Breckenridge – I’ve now attended five mastermind retreat – 2018, 2019, 2023, 2024, and 2025 – with a group hosted by Shawn Blanc in the high elevation of Breck; this event has fostered some of the most transformative moments of growth in my entrepreneurial journey
• Justin Moore’s Mastermind – Justin invited me to speak at his client mastermind in Minneapolis and we ended up doing 2.5 hours of live coaching. It was one of my favorite events of the year.
• MashUp – despite being friends with hosts Shawn Blanc and Mo Bunnell for a very long time, I attended my first MashUp event in 2025; it’s a 50-person mastermind-conference-peer-support-group thing and it was awesome

2025 was a year of deepening existing communities I’ve built or been invited to and continuing to invest in the relationships there. I find that I have wonderful friendships and acquaintances from many different areas of my life.

The two things I continue to want are to 1) deepen relationships that already matter to me and 2) find ways to see friends that are spread across the country. This is a unique challenge of the internet age when the people we are often closest to live a long haul flight away.

And of course, I’m always interested in meeting new friends who inspire me to become more of who I was made to be. The podcast, speaking, and attending high quality trainings and masterminds seem to repeatedly expose me to the work and kindness of new interesting people.

WELL-BEING

Of the areas of focus for me this year, well-being was an area that got little attention. I’m thankful I had a good scaffolding in place because it was a year when I needed it. It’s an area that is important to me in the macro sense and in the micro sense I found little room for improvement with all of the other priorities on my plate in 2025.

Here were the highlights:

• From November 1 of 2024 to August 10th of 2025, I didn’t drink alcohol except for a polite sip of a drink at work related events. I learned that I’m perfectly capable of not drinking and also that it changes the way I want to spend my time. It alters the decision making about what types of events I’m willing to go to, for how long, and who I want to spend time with at those events. In short, not drinking alcohol lowers my tolerance for things I don’t enjoy.
• I quit caffeine for about six weeks from July to August. I’ve regularly done these resets over the years, because my body operates poorly when stress increases, sleep drops, exercise fades, and coffee tries to be a substitute for all of the above. The amount of muscular pain I experience goes up, my hydration goes down, my circadian rhythm gets thrown off, and it becomes a vicious cycle of chasing feeling good. There’s a world in which my commitments and my natural energy match and I don’t need caffeine to make up the gap. I’ve yet to find a sustained window when that has been true (the longest I’ve gone is six months).
• Repeated airplanes and time zone changes are something I haven’t yet mastered. Part of me believes that the combination of stress, dehydration, poor nutrition and sleep, and low exercise when traveling makes it nearly impossible to sustain good habits on either side of said travel. Another part of me believes that I just need to find the system that works better than whatever I’m doing right now. I’m all ears if you’re a regular traveler (especially in high stress situations like speaking and training) and have nailed a routine that sustains you.
• Stress was high throughout the year and took a toll on my mental health by mid-year. The combination of having to keep future plans private for a sustained period, my Dad’s health, young kids, and the baseline stress of entrepreneurship added up. I had to take a two-week break in July to try to reset.
• Historically I’ve had years when I lifted weights and worked out 100+ times. This was not one of them. Instead, I think I can count on one hand how many real workouts I got in this year.
• I did sustain competitive pickup basketball on Tuesdays for two hours. ChatGPT’s best guess is that I run about 3.5 miles every time I play, burn 1,000-1,500 calories, and have an average heart rate of 135-145 throughout. It was good for getting energy out and bad for recovery in a high stress year.
• I maintained habits of bi-monthly chiropractor, monthly massage, every other month cranio-sacral therapy, and bi-monthly IFS therapy throughout the year. These are my baseline wellness habits that I don’t compromise on at this point.
• This year I added in semi-regular sauna use based on data I saw coming out of studies, as well as protocols from Huberman, Rhonda Patrick, and Bryan Johnson. I go about once a week to a local sauna spa and do two twenty minute sessions spaced thirty minutes apart at about 185-190 degrees. I started researching this when genetic and blood testing showed my body having a hard time detoxing on its own, which is either genetic or based on poor sleep habits or both.
• I did bi-annual bloodwork, which revealed very high levels of inflammation mid-year, likely tied to high stress and some good ol’ preschool sickness; ongoing elevated cholesterol but detailed lipid-protein evaluation and carotid ultrasound came back fairly clear; and my biological age is about six years younger than my chronological age

What do I take away from this?

First, despite not being able to prioritize fitness, having a horrible year of sleep hygiene, and high stress and grief levels, my body did in fact hold up. I attribute a huge part of this to my heavy investment in supporting my mind through IFS therapy and my body through ongoing support from talented professionals.

Second, to sustain the quality and depth of husband and father I want to be, work I want to do, and adventure I want to experience long-term – something has to change.

Third, I likely know the ingredients, but I need to stick to them with consistency.

If I were giving myself a protocol for well-being going forward, in order of importance it might look something like:

• Finally, for the first time in my life, establish a consistent sleep schedule with an established wind-down routine and environment that encourages this.
• Continue to eat dairy free, gluten free, and avoid obvious trigger foods; reduce sugar to 20g/day or less; and make every attempt to switch to tea over coffee with a caffeine limit (time and quantity) each day
• Limit travel to absolute essential trips and establish a strict routine for maintaining well-being while on the road. Minimize time away from my family and optimize everything for feeling good when getting back to my family.
• Set up a modest gym in my garage and workout vigorously for 30-45 minutes every day, with a focus on functional movement and balanced strength.
• Install a modest sauna in back yard and do 20-minute sessions at 185º 4-5x per week while making minor accommodations to account for reproductive health (ice) and heat exposure to my head (sauna hat)
• Maintain habits of bi-monthly chiropractor, monthly massage and cranio-sacral therapy, and bi-monthly IFS therapy

Like I tell my clients all the time: you already know what to do, you just haven’t decided whether to pay the emotional cost of doing it. I am human too.

TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

2025 had a lot of travel; not much of it was for the purposes of fun or adventure.

Here was the travel calendar for the year:

• January: Las Vegas to speak; Scotts Valley, CA to speak
• February: St. Petersburg, FL to visit my parents
• March: Asheville, NC for coach training
• April: McMinnville, OR for a marriage retreat; Asheville, NC for coach training; Atlanta to see my grandfather (O’Pa)
• May: Asheville, NC for coach training
• June: Boise, ID for Craft + Commerce (with the whole family!); Hood River, OR with family
• July: Santa Rosa Beach, FL to see my parents; Breckenridge, CO for a mastermind retreat; Columbus, OH to become a godparent and visit friends; Suttle Lodge to take a much needed break as a family
• August: St. Petersburg, FL to help my dad recover; Boise, ID to record content
• September: Boise, ID to record content
• October: Minneapolis, MN to speak; Atlanta for a mastermind and speaking; Bryson City, NC to see family; Asheville for coach training; Deschutes River on a fishing trip
• November: things finally calmed down; San Francisco for a day for a baptism; McMinnville, OR for a family retreat; Hood River for my son’s birthday
• December: a glorious absence of travel; Boise for a day to film content

A younger version of me would’ve dreamed of the kind of opportunity that sent me all over the country. The current version of me has a six year old, a three year old, and a beautiful wife at home and doesn’t get enough sleep. It’s a blessing and a challenge. And one I’m determined to find more balance in as I’m likely to have a similar year of travel ahead.

We also got outside throughout the year:

• We hiked Silver Falls
• We trail blazed in Forest Park with the UGA alumni association
• I did a solo hike in Forest Park
• I took the boys paddleboarding and canoeing for the first time
• I did a solo hike on Sauvie Island for my birthday
• We hiked in Tyron Creek State Park
• We hiked at Starvation Creek
• We walked around a local university’s campus lake repeatedly
• And I once again got to encounter one of the most remarkable fish (Steelhead) in the world on the Deschutes river with a good group of men

One of the things I most want to make sure we do as parents is to invite our boys to marvel at the natural beauty in this region of the country we’re so lucky to live in. I hope as we do that they’re beginning to fall in love with it just like we have.

I know for sure that their nervous systems settle and they seem happy when they’re outside. And that makes me happy.

FINANCES

I won’t harp here, as talking about money in public is a complicated topic.

Here’s what I will say:

• I have grown my coaching practice to the point that I charge in the top tier of coaching rates for the US
• My business earned more money (both revenue and profit) this past year than I have earned in any other year in my career (with the exception of selling stock one time)
• We invested heavily in our future by buying a company and rallying a group of friends to support us in the cause
• I spent more money on my business than I ever have before
• We lived a good life that was fully paid for, but we didn’t make any substantive investments in our long-term financial health this year

One of the things I’ve learned from my own experience and that of my clients is that taking risks never feels any easier. Even when you are in fact more financially secure, risk still feels like risk. The difference is that when you have a safety net, you will in fact be ok if your risks don’t pay off (as long as they’re reasonable). That doesn’t make it feel less scary.

We took some big risks this year. Nicole and I teamed up. We bought a company. We put a big piece of our financial future in our own hands. And we have no idea whether or how it will pay off. That’s both exciting and scary at the same time. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thank You For Reading!

That’s my review of 2025, with little sprinklings of hopes and intentions for 2026. It is, of course, deeply personal.

If you’ve read this far, I hope you found something of value here. Something that helped you pause and reflect on how far you’ve come in the year or decade past.

Here’s to a great year ahead. For you and for me.

PS: I’d love if you dropped me a note if you enjoyed this by replying to my newsletter. You can subscribe just below

The post My Annual Review of 2025 appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

January 2026 marks the beginning of a new chapter in my work and in my life. I am stepping into the role of steward, owner, and CEO of Presence-Based Coaching, the leadership development and coach training organization founded by the late Doug Silsbee and carried forward with great care by my teacher-turned-coach-turned-mentor, Bebe Hansen.

It would be easy to say this was a simple decision, but that would not be true.This transition has been unfolding behind the scenes for more than a year now and is the result of many quiet conversations and introspection. More importantly, the decision arrives with a steady sense that this deeply aligns with the work I’ve already been doing for most of my adult life.

Presence-Based Coaching (PBC) has markedly shaped me as a coach and a person. Both the curriculum and the practice have taught me a leadership and coaching style that is grounded rather than reactive, aware rather than urgent. I’ve learned how to more masterfully meet complexity with clarity and to support others from a place of inner steadiness.

Those lessons reached me long before I ever imagined that I would be trusted to lead the organization. It’s changed the way I work with founders, executives, and creative entrepreneurs. It has crystallized my perception of what I think makes a strong team leader. It’s changed the way I show up as a husband and a parent. And I’m honored, excited, and nervously anticipatory about the months and years to come.

Presence is a Throughline of My Life and Work

For most of my career, I have lived at the intersection of leadership, entrepreneurship, and teaching. And presence has been the quiet thread running through every meaningful decision I have made so far. I started my first company, Living for Monday, because I believed that meaningful work and good leadership could change lives. Later, at Fizzle and then at Kit (previously ConvertKit), I poured myself into building culture, clarity, and standards that allowed creators to do the best work of their lives. In my coaching practice, I have worked with high-earning entrepreneurs, founders, and creators who are trying to build something that matters without losing themselves in the process.

The work has looked different over the years, but the core questions have stayed consistent. Can we slow down enough to notice what is really happening in us, in the world, in the people we serve? Can we act from a grounded place instead of reacting from fear? Can we build companies, careers, and lives that are not only successful from the outside, but whole on the inside?

It’s no surprise that coaching and teaching has always been a gift and joy I return to. I come by it honestly. Both my parents were coaches to me in their own ways, whether on a baseball field or in the personal development work they nudged me toward. So teaching and guidance has always been front and center: when I built courses and frameworks and tools for creators, when I coach CEOs who need space to think again. It’s a part of every conversation whether I’ve realized it or not: with friends, colleagues, my wife, my children.

When I first found Presence-Based Coaching, it felt like someone had taken many of the scattered threads of my life and work and woven them into a coherent framework. It gave language, structure, and practice to things I had felt but could not fully name. In many ways, stewarding Presence-Based Coaching is a continuation of work I started long ago and am committed to continue doing. It is the next expression of what I believe about leadership and what I believe about people. And the heart of that belief is simple: When leaders learn to be present, whole, and at peace, everything else opens. Creativity. Integrity. Wellbeing. Even profit. And the capacity to lead others expands in ways that do not require sacrificing the self.

What I’d Love You To Know About Presence-Based Coaching (PBC)

Presence-Based Coaching sits at the intersection of leadership, teaching, and embodiment. It helps people not only share what they know, but inhabit what they teach. For founders, executives, and creators, that alignment matters. It is the difference between using your work to prove something and using your work to serve something.

Most of the people I serve are creators in some form. They run businesses, write books, host podcasts, build software, or lead teams. They are teachers in their own right, whether they use that word or not. I believe deeply that teaching and, thus, coaching, is one of the most powerful leverage points we have for changing the world. A single lesson or framework, shared at the right time, to the right person, can alter the trajectory of a life. I have experienced this as a student and I have experienced it as a teacher.

Stepping into stewardship at PBC allows me to bring everything I care about into one place. The craft of coaching. The discipline of building culture. The practice of presence. The joy of teaching. The desire to see creators and leaders flourish, not just perform.

We Will Honor the Rich Lineage and Also Grow the Impact of the Work

My intention with PBC is simple. I want to honor the roots of the organization and expand PBC’s reach in ways that stay true to the underlying work. I want to give multitudes of others the same opportunity to learn about the ways in which they can expand as leaders, coaches, creators, people. The curriculum will remain true to what Doug and Bebe have built and the philosophy will continue to sit on the foundation of mindfulness, embodiment, and systems awareness. But my job as the next torch-bearer is to carry forward with care and invite others into a way of learning that’s already been transformative for so many.

Practically, that means a few things. We will keep the heart of PBC intact. The core programs, the faculty, and the foundational teachings will continue. We will continue to support coaches and leaders with an embodied foundation they can carry into every part of their work and life. The point is not to put my fingerprints all over the work. The point is to keep the lineage healthy, vibrant, and accessible.

We will expand in thoughtful and grounded ways. One of the first steps is offering a West Coast Presence-Based Coaching program near Portland, Oregon, where my family and I live, in addition to the programs that will continue to be offered on the East Coast. For years, people have traveled across the country to participate in PBC. Creating an additional in-person option reduces friction for those who live closer to the West Coast (Asia even, for example), while preserving the immersive retreat experience that defines our work.

We will keep investing in coaches and leaders who want to build from a deeper foundation. The coaches, founders, and executives I work with are not lacking in ambition. They are often seeking practices and support that help them stay grounded while they pursue work that matters. PBC is one of the best containers I have found for that kind of growth.

What To Look Forward To and an Invitation to Get Involved

It is a weighty thing to be invited to continue a lineage. It is an even weightier thing to commit to carrying it forward. Yet at the heart of the decision to acquire PBC is a belief I keep returning to… Presence is not a nice-to-have. It is a necessary condition for any meaningful decision, including this one. Every time I have made a choice I am proud of, presence has been underneath it. Every time I have made a decision I regret, urgency and fear have been in the driver’s seat.

I am grateful for Bebe’s trust and for the opportunity to build on the legacy she has tended with so much heart. This next chapter will ask for everything I have learned as a coach and as a leader. It will also ask for the same presence that first brought me to this work.

If you have ever considered becoming a coach, deepening your leadership presence, or building the internal skills needed to lead well in a complex world, this is an ideal moment to reach out. Presence-Based Coaching is a meaningful pathway for practitioners who want depth rather than speed and impact rather than noise. You can see all the programs for 2026 on the website, including links for registration.

If you would like to talk about PBC or about 1:1 executive coaching, I would love to connect. You can reach me at barrett at presencebasedcoaching dot com for coach training and bb at barrettbrooks dot com for executive coaching.

However you are connected to my work, thank you for being here. I am looking forward to walking into this next chapter with as much awareness, courage, and care as I can bring to it.

Here’s to the new year and to the beginning of what is possible.

The post Stepping Into Stewardship at Presence-Based Coaching: A New Chapter in My Life and Work appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

For it to emerge
some days orange
and glowing

Some days hidden
from our eyes
but present in our heart

The fog has a plan
of her own
the clouds a purpose too

Even when its hidden
does the sun not follow
its path?

When your own path
disappears, what can
the sun teach you?

You can’t control the sunrise
so what is there to do?
Wait. Wait. For it to emerge.

Who are you to say
whether
it was beautiful

An original poem by Barrett Brooks
Written October 13, 2025
Location: Hound Dog Hill at Bend of Ivy Lodge, Marshall, NC

© 2025
…but you may share this work without alteration in small group settings
… for other print or compilation inquiries, please reach out directly

The post Sunrise Over Bend of Ivy appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

Having a log of my learnings over the years creates the opportunity to capture a moment in time. And looking back on those moments shows me how far I’ve come.

So I’m getting back to it this year. My birthday is September 7th. I spent the weekend accumulating everything I could think of to get to thirty eight.

These are not lessons I think you should apply to your own life, they’re merely what has worked for me. Please read them as “advice to myself” rather than advice for you. But of course, if something resonates then please take it with you and remix it to fit your needs.

Here’s what I think I’ve learned about life, love, work, adventure, and more in my time on this planet…

On Relationships

(Marriage, Parenting, Friendship & Family)

One: ​​Long term friendships compound in value with time.

New friends cannot understand who you once were the way a twenty year friend can. Going through highs and lows with someone by your side, knowing they will not abandon you, is priceless.

The fights and the bickering and the joyful six-hour dinners and the family trips and the long phone calls in times of need — they are irreplaceable. Don’t you dare let a friendship die that has helped you become the person you are today. If you’re both not done growing, then you’re not done growing together.

Two: Done right, marriage is the ultimate long-term friendship.

Ooh are there highs and lows in a marriage.

And all the more so for a marriage that starts early in life. Who do you think you are when you’re 21 years old? You’re wrong no matter the answer! When you start dating early in life, you have to figure out who you are together. And what a beautiful, brutal process that is.

Who am I? Who are you? Who are we? Are questions we’ve had to answer over and over. While that might sound a bit scary or threatening, I mean it in the most wonderful, beautiful, fall-apart-in-each-other’s-arms-and-then-put- each-other-back-together way possible.

Marriage is both one of the hardest and most valuable things that exists in this world. Nothing, I repeat nothing, has changed my life as much as dancing with the woman I married has. (Love you, Nicole)

Three: Being a father is one of the most exhausting and challenging things I have ever done. It is also, without comparison, the most rewarding.

Seeing my wife become a mother and flourish in that role. Seeing our boys develop into their own beings and personalities. Getting to heal my own inner world through parenting. All of it is beautiful and I am so grateful for it.

Four: My children do not deserve to live with the burdens of my past.

It is my job and responsibility to heal from my past so that they don’t have to. While my boys might have wounds from our relationship, they will not have the same wounds for the same reasons that I had.

Five: Conflict is not inherently bad or unsafe, it’s a tool for understanding.

I grew up in a household where there were two conflict modes: passive (most of the time) or over-the-top aggressive (brief moments). I learned that conflict was dangerous and it’s better to keep my emotions bottled up. In reality, conflict serves everyone involved when wielded well

Six: One of the most important skills in life is learning to say what you need.

It’s the scariest to say what you need in the relationships you care about most, because those are the relationships we’re most scared of losing. But those are also the exact relationships where it’s most important to be able to ask for what you need.

Seven: Relatedly, making clear requests gives you the chance to get your needs met.

Making a clear request can sound artificially stilted, but it works every time. Three steps work well:

1. “I have a request. Are you willing to hear it?”
2. If the person is willing to hear it, make the request clearly. If not, circle back later. “Would you be willing to do bedtime tonight so that I can go play basketball with my friends,” is an example of a request.
3. Be as unattached to the answer as possible so that yes and no are okay. Every request requires a response and a clear one.

The key to all of this is for every person involved to exercise their full agency. The person making the request and the person responding. If the answer is no to the request, that has to be ok or else it’s a demand, not a request.

Eight: Non-violent communication, another little framework I’ve learned, is like a magic superpower for handling conflict.

1. State the facts.
2. Share your feelings.
3. Name the underlying needs behind the feelings.
4. Make a request (see above)

If you can’t tell, I’ve had to find ways around my natural conflict aversion by finding thoughtful ways to have hard conversations.

Nine: Rituals and traditions are rich ground for joy and hope.

Schedule them. Invite people in. Make them something special. Take marriage retreats. Create an annual fishing trip. Say yes to the annual camping trip. Build the holiday traditions with the boys. Have endless Sunday BBQs. All of it is life-giving. Lean into it. Enjoy it. It’s who I am.

Ten: Everyone wants to be in community. Every community needs an organizer. Be the organizer.

Most everyone wants to be invited to something amazing. Most everyone really does want to be seen and heard and appreciated and understood. And most everyone struggles to open up until they feel safe.

I have wanted to feel belonging and community my whole life! The only thing I’ve found to scratch that itch is to be the one to bring people together.

Perhaps that means there’s no other way for me to fit in. Perhaps that’s part of why I was put here… to bring people together and help them feel safe to finally be seen.

Eleven: Food is a gateway to the soul.

Preparing food is an expression of love. Sharing food is an act of belonging.

When these things come together with a group of humans around a table eating a home cooked meal prepared meticulously for the express purpose of making them feel loved… that is when people begin to let their guard down. It’s when they begin to finally — FINALLY — open up to the possibility of opening up.

With the right question at the right table, friendships can go deeper in three hours than they can in everyday life over ten years. Create those tables.

On Work & Calling

(Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Coaching, Wealth)

Twelve: So far I have seen almost no correlation between the experience of wholeness a person has in their life and any measurable sign of “success” they have achieved.

Wealth, audience reach, network, number of employees… these are all tools. Money solves for needs, but it does not provide wholeness.

Success and wholeness are on two different and unrelated vectors. If I can have everything, I want both. But if I can have only one, I want wholeness.

Thirteen: We can solve almost any problem in 90 focused minutes.

It takes the right environment, with the right conditions, and the right people. Seeing this at work in my coaching has been the closest thing to a superpower or wielding magic.

Fourteen: Most people don’t struggle with what to do. They struggle with the emotional cost of doing it.

Most of the time I observe people looking for “the answer” to their problem. And most of the time I find that they already know the answer, but they don’t like it for one reason or another.

Usually that’s because there’s an emotional cost they’re not willing to pay. Change happens when the cost of not doing it finally becomes higher than the emotional cost of following through.

Fifteen: You can be kind and also get results.

Too often these things get pitted against each other in popular lore. No one is kind 100% of the time, but I also know many leaders who are kind more often than not while also building remarkable lives.

The next time someone preaches to you about being a jerk to get results, just know that there are plenty of examples that prove otherwise.

Sixteen: Hard things feel hard; that doesn’t mean I’m broken.

I have been public speaking since at least college, perhaps longer. Every time I’m scheduled to go in front of an audience, the same thing happens:

• I get anxious.
• I procrastinate on my slides.
• The night before my talk, I stay up longer than I should practicing and editing my presentation.
• About an hour before I go on stage, my stomach ties itself in knots and my underarms sweat.

The only way to make it stop is to go on stage and do the thing. Within five minutes, the energy flows and I feel amazing. This roller coaster of emotion has never changed despite giving hundreds of talks and workshops.

If I had told myself a story that something was wrong with me the first time it happened, I never would’ve had so many opportunities I’ve valued. If you’re scared, that doesn’t mean you’re broken. It might just mean you’re doing a hard thing.

Seventeen: Electoral politics is a popularity contest.

It was once a foregone conclusion that I’d run for president someday. In reading endless presidential biographies, I grew a reverence for the office and a belief that it is one of the most sacred roles one could hold.

Letting go of this idea has brought me more peace than I would’ve anticipated. Politics is a game of progressive compromise on one’s morals. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is. Now I act and allocate attention accordingly.

Eighteen: The news serves partially to scare you into inaction.

News overwhelms me with so much information that I feel helpless to solve the scope and scale of the problems in the world. The paralyzing nature of it fuels our desire to consume more, which fuels the business model of news.

Bonus: Real change happens human to human.

It happens in our communities. If you have found a vein of work that will change lives (which I thankfully have through coaching), then go as deep as you can with as many humans as you can and change lives.

If I have to choose between shallow reach or deep work with a few, choose the deep work. Trust that everyone else will do their part too.

On Mind & Heart

(Faith, Mental Health, Psychology, Wisdom, Learning)

Nineteen: Books are the best invention in the history of humanity.

Twenty: Having needs is not a flaw or a weakness.

Every human being on the planet has needs of all kinds, including love, belonging, safety, and wellbeing. These are universal and should be welcomed. Some of us learn to neglect our own needs in order to stay safe and belong in our family systems. Unwinding this is hard but worthy work.

Twenty-One: We all need support, reassurance, and recognition.

While we can learn to be ok without them, it’s not sustainable to move through life without the support of loving people around us. It’s ok to ask for support. “I need help” is a sign of inner strength.

Twenty-Two: Opening to love is a scary process, especially when you’ve not felt loved before (even if you were in fact loved).

First is learning that love exists. Then that love can be safe. Then that we can only love others as much as we are able to love ourselves.

And then there is the long, dark, deep work to actually learn to love ourselves. I wish I had a better playbook to share on how to do that, but my process has been a winding, unclear path.

Twenty-Three: Belonging starts with shared stories.

The fundamental units of belonging are understanding and acceptance. To be understood for all that I have experienced and to still be welcomed and accepted is the root of my desire for belonging. Knowing that what I have been through or done does not cast me out from the community I long for gives me peace and hope.

Creating venues for people to share our stories together has become a path to belonging for me and others.

Twenty-Four: Vulnerability is a super power.

It’s the only way to achieve belonging. It’s the best and most authentic way to lead. One can be vulnerable and strong. One can be vulnerable and not emotionally dump on others. One can be vulnerable and respected.

Perhaps being vulnerable is the only way to be respected and appreciated in a way that actually feels whole.

Twenty-Five: When I start thinking I’m dying of something – some horrible illness, or ache, or pain – it’s usually a sign that I haven’t processed my negative emotions and instead buried them.

Rather than obsessing and going down a rabbit hole about my health, the key is to go back to what happened just before I started getting afraid I was dying. Whatever that event was is probably the thing I haven’t processed yet.

Twenty-Six: Poetry, memoir, and fiction have become some of my greatest teachers.

I no longer search for books, essays, and other resources that tell me what to do. Poetry, memoirs, and literature allow me to take my own lessons away from every story or verse so that I can apply it to my life in a way that’s meaningful to me.

Settling into the comfort and trust in myself to take what I need has allowed me to let go of prescriptive teaching or outsourcing my agency to an expert or guru.

Twenty-Seven: The Catholic Church has built me up and also let me down terribly.

At a time when people most needed community (COVID), I felt cast out of my own faith community by a priest practicing an archaic form of faith. This is a reminder that a given person’s experience with any organization is only as good as they person representing the organization.

What I found on the other side of leaving our church home was a deeper spirituality and connection to God. I found that I could be with God anytime and anywhere. I’ve now boiled my faith down to three things:

• Prayer and 1:1 connection to God
• Making every effort to foster the fruits and gifts of the spirit within my own soul
• Aspiring to live in such a way that if someone found out I was Christian ten years after meeting me, they’d think more highly of Christianity as a result

Twenty-Eight: When I feel lost or scared or sad or anxious: go into the yard, take your shoes off, stand barefoot in the grass, and look up at the big beautiful sky.

Hold one hand over your heart and one hand over your stomach. Recite all the good you have done this day. Pray to be filled with faith and hope and peace and love and kindness and wisdom. Thank God for every little blessing you can think of this day.

Cry the tears of gratitude or fear or sadness you wouldn’t let yourself cry when someone was looking. And when you are done, go back inside and see what might have changed. 99% of the time, you know things will be ok.

Twenty-Nine: Internal family systems therapy has changed my life.

It has taught me to grieve, to process and understand my anger, and to dig out of that deep well I go to when it feels like everything might as well end right now.

It has helped me heal, helped me open to love, helped me share yourself with the people I most love. It has helped me transform my life. And all it took was the courage to seek out the methodology that most works for me.

Bonus: Being aware of other people’s emotions is not the same as being aware of your own emotions.

They are separate skills. I have a superpower in recognizing other people’s emotions thanks to my hyper vigilance, but I’ve had to work very hard to feel my own emotions. Learning to fully feel my own emotions (even the “bad” ones!) has changed my life.

Body & Lifestyle

(Health, Energy, Taste, Routines)

Thirty: Sleep, diet, and exercise are the key to everything.

Anytime I start wondering what’s wrong, or feel like I’m never going to achieve my goals, or that I don’t have the energy for something…then the key is to first ask:

• Have I been sleeping eight hours a night?
• Have I been eating whole foods?
• Have I been getting at least 30 minutes of good exercise a day?

If the answer is no to any one of these, I should fix that problem before obsessing about some other imagined problem.

Thirty-One: Going to sleep is the hardest skill of all.

I have struggled with sleep my whole life. Since before my memory took hold, there has never been a time when sleep felt safe.

Still, sleep is the key to my longevity and wellness and sustainability of all that I do.

I deserve rest. I deserve an environment that allows me to rest. I deserve to feel safe and loved and supported. And I deserve to keep working on it at the soul level until I can finally lay my head on my pillow and go to sleep without the fear that has been with me since I was a boy.

Keep trying. It will be worth it.

Thirty-Two: When I start drinking more than one cup of coffee a day, it’s usually a sign I’m masking fatigue and trying to make up for a lack of sleep.

Using caffeine as a way to power myself to do more than I have energy for is a sure path to burnout over time.

I function best with no caffeine, but if I’m going to drink it, I should be taking a 30-day break at least once every six months. If I’m trying to be superman, perhaps it’s time to lay down some responsibilities rather than drink more coffee.

Thirty-Three: Looking good changes how I feel.

A nice haircut, a new outfit, a piece of jewelry that has meaning and purpose. Getting up in the morning and getting dressed like I’m going out into the world (even if I’m not) changs the way I feel and look at myself.

Plus, what I wear is a chance to share my personality without ever speaking a word. Let your style reflect your inner world and let the haters keep walking.

Thirty-Four: World class body workers help integrate the pain and challenges of the past

A massage therapist who can hear and understand that you have been abused and then create an environment of safety is a gift.

A chiropractor who knows anatomy and physiology better than most orthopedic surgeons is a gift.

A cranio-sacral therapist (I didn’t even know this was a thing that long ago) is the other half to a great psychologist or psychotherapist.

Great body workers do for the body what a therapist does for the mind. Without integrating my body and mind, true change does not and cannot happen.

Thirty-Five: When it comes to my health, don’t read the internet.

If I think something is wrong, go to a doctor and tell them what I think is wrong. Ask them specifically for diagnostics to find out for sure.

When the results come in, don’t look at them. Schedule time with your doctor and look at them together.

If you don’t trust your doctor to be the source of truth on this, find a new doctor.

The internet is where anxious souls go to convince themselves to have a panic attack because they are dying. You either are or you aren’t, so go find out rather than looking it up online at 12:30am.

World & Adventure

(Nature, Travel, Creativity, Culture)

Thirty-Six: Time in nature is always healing.

Whether it’s an hour in the garden, a couple hours on a hike in Forest Park, a full day hike outside of Portland, or multiple days on a river or mountain, I have never come back from time spent in nature and away from technology and regretted it.

The formula from The Nature Fix seems to be the perfect prescription for me:

• Two to four hours every week
• A full day every month
• 72 hours two to four times a year

But the 72 hours outside seems to be most critical – it’s what resets my nervous system.

Thirty-Seven: Some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met are full of contradictions and complexity.

I love hip-hop and peaceful inner wholeness.

I am a huge fan of Jordan sneakers and also deeply believe in sustainability.

I love college football and equally love reading an obscure book from 30 years ago.

One week you can catch me fly fishing in a canyon covered in sunscreen, dirt, and sweat and the next you can find me at one of the best restaurants in Portland enjoying a great meal with a group of friends having deep conversation.

You can’t put me in a box. And I don’t want to put you in one either.

Thirty-Eight: Travel has unlocked parts of me I was scared to know.

As a young person, I only left the country one time to Brazil on a mission trip in high school.

At first, travel beyond US borders felt scary. Now I revel in the learning that will come from being uncomfortable.

Travel has taught me more about myself than any number of books or courses could.

That’s all I have for you this year. I hope you found something to make you think a bit deeper today. If you enjoyed this, would you consider:

1. Sharing it with a friend who might enjoy it? A short text message on why it made you think of them with the link is usually best.
2. Subscribing to my newsletter, Little Leadership Lessons? You can find the form below this post.
3. Replying to my first newsletter email with what you enjoyed about this essay?

The post 38 Lessons on Work, Life, Faith, and Family (Birthday Lessons 2025) appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

Hope you’ve had a wonderful week and are making the most of this last month of summer (or winter down there in the southern hemisphere).

My wife and I went to visit my parents this past week to support my Dad on his journey with Parkinson’s. It was a meaningful and important trip and now I’m happy to be home with my kids.

Around this time of year I do a little exercise to check in on my goals from the beginning of the year and to reset expectations for what’s most important before the holiday season.
​
That makes me curious: what’s your biggest goal before the end of the year in your business? I’d love to know! Hit reply and share what you want to make happen.

Let’s get to it!

A Beautiful Photo to Quiet Your Body and Mind

As a reminder, each edition of this newsletter is the direct learning from a $1,500 coaching session translated to you and your business in 10 minutes or less. Here’s this week’s…

The Situation

A client came into a session looking frayed. He’d recently stepped into his role as CEO, taking over for the founder who was ready for a new leadership challenge.

My client was leading through a season of rapid growth and change, but it wasn’t going well. His team was tense from all of the change, interpersonal conflict had surfaced, and he wasn’t proud of how he was showing up in meetings.

He felt like he wasn’t living up to the quality of work that the founder used to do. He felt unnatural when delivering webinars, under-resourced for the ambitious goals they had set, and like he was failing on every front.

On top of that, his family life was heavy with stress. He was stretched so thin that by the time we met, he said, “Something feels off. I can’t name it. But I’m not myself. I don’t even feel like I have time to check in with myself on how I’m doing day to day.”

He wasn’t asking for a tool or a new productivity system. He just wanted to find his footing so that he could settle into the role and start finding some wins.

The Emotional Blocker

As we unpacked what was happening, a simple truth came into view. He was comparing himself to the founder in everything he did. In hosting a team meeting, he’d wonder why the team reacted differently to him than the founder. In writing emails to his audience, he’d question why open rates were down or why webinar show-up rate had dropped.

“Is it something about me? Is there something fundamentally broken about my leadership? Am I not cut out for this job?” he wondered out loud as the spiral he was in came into focus in the middle of our session.

This was the core block for him: he was so busy comparing himself to the entrepreneur he replaced that he was putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on himself. In the process, he was chasing a leadership style that wasn’t his rather than leading authentically.

The Breakthrough

In the midst of all that self-imposed pressure, he had stopped doing everything that once kept him whole. He wasn’t working out. He wasn’t taking his normal hikes with his dogs. Sleep was poor. He ate quick meals at his desk.

The very practices that used to center him had quietly fallen away. And yet, he felt ashamed to admit it.

“I don’t have time for that anymore,” he said. I see this over and over with high-level clients. It’s the lie most high achievers believe. The more we have to do, the less we can afford the rituals that restore us. In reality, abandoning those practices accelerates our downward spiral.

I asked, “What did you used to do that helped you feel most like yourself?”

He paused. Then: “Long hikes. No phone. Just me and the dogs.”

That was the opening. Not another system. Not a hack. Just permission to return to what was already there.

We planned a hike to the top of a nearby mountain. No technology, no music or podcasts in his ears, just a peaceful but strenuous hike in nature.

I invited him to tune into what it might feel like to be grounded and centered in his body and to anchor it in a posture that reflects who he really is as a leader. He stood up across the Zoom screen, held his arms wide, and tilted his face to the sky.

We wrapped up there with a commitment that he’d take a hike before our next session.

At our next session, he told me, smiling, “I did the hike. At the top of the mountain I stood tall with my arms out and my head high. There was no one else there but my dogs and for the first time in months, I felt like myself again.”

One hike didn’t fix everything. But it gave him a practice to return to and a center to rebuild from. That was enough to shift his capacity and allow him to start leading with more authenticity and vulnerability.

Coaching Questions to Apply This to Your Business

1. What practice once made you feel grounded, creative, or whole, but has quietly slipped away?
2. What’s the story you tell yourself about why you don’t do it anymore
3. What would change if you reclaimed that practice, even once this week?

When you’re in a downward spiral and questioning what you’re capable of, the tendency is to grind it out. Those are the exact times when it can be even more impactful to take time to return to what restores you

If you give it a try, I’d love for you to write to me and tell me how it goes.

Much love and respect,

The post The lie that leads to burnout (Little Leadership Lessons) appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

Hope you’ve had a great week this week and are enjoying some downtime with family or friends this weekend.

How do you like to restore yourself in between work weeks? Are you a Netflix on the couch kind of person? A get outdoors and wear yourself out kind of person? Chores and food prep? I’d love to hear from you!
​
And thank you to all of you who replied last week with well wishes. I talk a bit about the family situation in an upcoming podcast with Parker Palmer.

Which reminds me: I know I keep saying this, but we really are so so close on the new website, new art work for the show, and a bunch of new episodes for you. Excited to show you as soon as it’s ready!

Let’s get to it!

A Beautiful Photo to Quiet Your Body and Mind

As a reminder, each edition of this newsletter is the direct learning from a $1,500 coaching session translated to you and your business in 10 minutes or less. Here’s this week’s…

The Situation

A client sent me a message a couple of days before our last session:

“I’ve thought about this post nonstop since you published it. I didn’t even know there was a different option!”

The post she was talking about? A simple distinction:

Growth mode vs. Profit mode.

Neither is absolute. They exist on a sliding scale. But if you aren’t clear about which you’re in, you drift into the muddy middle.

That’s where you’re spending more on hiring, marketing, or tools, but not enough to drive real growth. You feel like your income is lower than it should be, and growth is slower than it should be. You’re frustrated on both fronts.

This is where my client found herself:

“I’ve been in growth mode for so long, I didn’t even know there was another option. I’d love to be making more money, but all the content I see online only talks about growth!”

The Emotional Blocker

We dug into her numbers: revenue over the past year, year-over-year growth, and spending. She was stuck in the middle. Spending more than last year, but without the payoff.

When I asked what it would take to double revenue, she paused and said:

“I’d have to hire more people for marketing and sales. I might need to build new products. I’d have to spend more on ads, too.”

And then the realization hit:

“But that would cost almost everything I have left. I wouldn’t take home what I need for my family. Why can’t I grow AND get paid?”

That’s the emotional block. Wanting both at once, but feeling like you have to choose (because you often do).

The Breakthrough

I wrestle with this too—how much to enjoy the fruits of what I’ve built versus reinvesting for the next level.

Every entrepreneur does. Who doesn’t want faster growth, more income, more freedom, and less work all at once?

But business is a series of trade-offs. And in this case, the options were clear:

• Spend more now to fuel growth. Talk with your family about short-term sacrifice in exchange for longer-term rewards.
• Spend less and take more home. Enjoy more financial comfort today, but accept slower growth and potentially lower long-term value.
• Push harder with what you have. Work more hours, ask the team to sprint, and use the revenue bump to hire and catch up later.

After walking through each, my client realized she was actually content. She was making a good profit, growing faster than the stock market, and keeping her workload manageable.

She wasn’t building a venture-scale company, and that’s fine. She owns the business. She gets to decide what “enough” is.

And now she has language for it. There are different modes for different seasons. Now she has more agency and more buy-in with her own choices.

Coaching Questions to Apply This to Your Business

1. Which mode are you in right now: growth or profit? Did you choose it on purpose, or by default?
2. What decisions, behaviors, or emotions might be contradicting that choice?
3. What would happen if you fully committed to one mode for the next year? What about the other?

The only wrong answer is being frustrated with results that reflect the choices you’re making (whether implicit or explicit).

Much love and respect,

The post Are you in growth mode or profit mode? (Little Leadership Lessons) appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

I hope you had a wonderful week full of productive work.

Did you encounter a new idea, book, person, or experience that inspired you this week? Hit reply and tell me about it. I’d love to hear from you.

I had a full week of client work and recorded a new podcast conversation with 86-year-old author and teacher Parker Palmer. It’ll be coming to you soon (I have a whole queue of episodes lined up!)

It was also a hard week, as we received some tough news on the family front. This particular phase of life with young children and aging parents is a practice in holding beauty and destruction, joy and grief, wonder and reflection all at once. I’m listening for what there is to learn as we move through it.

Let’s get to it!

A Beautiful Photo to Quiet Your Body and Mind

As a reminder, each edition of this newsletter is the direct learning from a $1,500 coaching session translated to you and your business in 10 minutes or less. Here’s this week’s…

The Situation

I was coaching a bestselling author recently… someone with a massive global audience and a track record of building beautifully designed businesses around her ideas.

She’s in the early stages of working on her second book.

The first one did incredibly well. And now… the pressure’s on.

She walked me through several draft ideas. One by one, she read them out loud. Each one was carefully structured, logically sound, and designed to follow the conventions of nonfiction bestsellers.

At the end, I paused and asked,

“How do you feel about these?”

She hesitated, then said,

“Honestly? They feel like the book I should write… but I’m not that excited about any of them.”

“The one that felt alive, the last one, wasn’t on the list before. It just came to me as I was talking.”

And there it was.

The Emotional Blocker

This is a pattern I see often—especially in ambitious, high-achieving creators.

When you’ve built something successful, the temptation is to follow the same formula. Repeat what worked. Do what you “should.”

But in doing so, you risk losing the spark that made your first project resonate in the first place.

This client didn’t need more productivity frameworks or positioning tricks. She needed to reconnect with what made her want to write in the first place.

What emerged was a concept that was deeply personal, emotionally resonant, and quite different from her first book in style and structure.

It felt riskier because it was less polished. But it also felt real.

When we dug in, we found the core desire wasn’t just to teach something. It was to speak directly to the reader’s heart. She wants to write in a way that mirrors her most trusted medium, which is conversation.

She wants to create something that will leave the reader not just informed, but maybe even changed inside.

The Breakthrough

As we explored the concept further, we found a structure that felt creatively energizing but still grounded in strategy.

The big shift?

Instead of writing to prove her expertise, she would write from wisdom.

She imagined the book as a dialogue between a younger, searching version of herself and a wiser, future self. Not autobiographical. Not overly specific.
Just emotionally honest and relatable at the level of hope, fear, confusion, and longing.

She doesn’t need to explain every circumstance of her life to make it resonate. She just needs to write from a place of truth.

That conversation unlocked something.

What started as an offhand comment became the seed of a great book. A book only she can write.
​
And more importantly: a book she actually wants to write.

Coaching Questions to Apply This to Your Business

1. Where are you choosing the idea that feels “correct” over the one that feels alive?
2. What would change if you gave yourself permission to pursue what excites you most?
3. How might your work shift if it came from wisdom, not trying to prove your value?
4. What project are you avoiding because it feels too personal or risky?

You don’t need more ideas. You need the right idea. The one that feels undeniably yours. The one that makes your chest buzz a little when you talk about it. The one you’d be proud to put your name on, even if it’s not what you think you “should” do.

Trust that. That’s where the magic lives.

Much love and respect,

PS: After wrapping up two group programs at the end of July, I now have two rare open spots on my coaching roster. If you are a seven-figure creator or entrepreneur and going through a period of inner or outer transformation, please fill out my application to work together.

The post Don’t Write What You “Should”… Do This Instead (Little Leadership Lessons) appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

I’m finally slowing down a little.

It’s the first summer where my kids are old enough that the season feels truly different. Longer days, less childcare availability, more energy from the kids, and… being way too busy at work to cater to their schedules.

July has been full. Between work travel, family travel, and coaching (did you know I work 1:1 with seven-figure creators and founders?), it’s been nonstop.

To be honest, it’s felt that way all year.

And that’s often the first sign of burnout: when everything seems to be going well, but your internal system is blinking yellow.

I’ve learned to catch those early signals before they become something harder to unwind. So this week, I’m taking time to reset: long walks, books for pleasure, time with my family, and no to-do list.

Let this be your reminder: check in with your own warning signs. Don’t wait until your body forces you to.

Let’s get to it!

A Beautiful Photo to Quiet Your Body and Mind

As a reminder, each edition of this newsletter is the direct learning from a $1,500 coaching session translated to you and your business in 10 minutes or less. Here’s this week’s…

The Situation

Business partnerships are some of the most powerful relationships in entrepreneurship—and also some of the most emotionally complex.

In a recent coaching session with two business partners, we worked through a revealing exercise that surfaced a hidden source of tension.

Here’s the journaling prompt they worked through:

• How are you feeling about your relationship to the partnership right now? (Red / Yellow / Green)
• What do you want or need from the partnership that you haven’t named out loud? What have you named that’s still unresolved?
• Where are you experiencing frustration, friction, or irritation right now?
• What are you not saying that needs to be said? What are you saying that’s not being heard? What are you hearing that’s not being said?

(The last question set comes from Jerry Colonna—we talked about them on the podcast here. These questions are valuable for any close relationship in your life.)

Here’s what surfaced:

• One partner was seen by the team as the one who “wants to grow as fast as possible.”
• The other was seen as “scared of speed” and wanting to “move slowly and with intention.”
• This created constant tension anytime the team discussed growth plans.

Then came the offhand comment that cracked the case open:

“I don’t even know what we’re optimizing for right now.”

That became the entry point to the real issue.In a recent group coaching session, one client—a creator in the food and lifestyle space—shared something that hit a nerve.

The Emotional Blocker

“Can you tell me more about that?” I asked.

He answered right away:

“I don’t know what we’re trying to grow. Revenue? Profit? Cash? Team? How can we be aligned if we’re not even clear on what we want to grow?”

That question revealed what had been missing all along: they had never explicitly defined growth—not the metric, not the pace, and definitely not the why behind it.

And underneath that ambiguity? Two very different emotional drivers.

The “fast growth” partner had big goals around financial freedom. She wanted to increase her income, build generational wealth, and create a pool of capital to invest in new ventures. She was optimizing for as many “shots on goal” as possible. Her mindset: don’t let cash sit idle—put it to work.

Her fear? That moving too slowly meant she’d miss the window to achieve the freedom and impact she envisioned.

But the other partner, the one seen as risk-averse, felt deeply misunderstood. He has invested much of his net worth into the company, works hard every week, and has just as much at stake.

He wants the company to grow too. But he wants to grow in a way that feels sustainable and responsible.

They were afraid to name the conflict directly because… What if they want different things?

Would they have the skills to navigate it?

Would it mean the partnership had to end?

Would the company survive?

These are scary questions. But avoiding them doesn’t make them go away.

The Breakthrough

Instead of voicing their needs, they were acting them out.

The “fast growth” partner was signaling her values through her decisions—taking risks, reinvesting cash, betting on upside.

The “slow and steady” partner was signaling his values, too—protecting capital, preserving team health, avoiding catastrophic downside.

Neither one is wrong. They’re just misaligned.

But because they hadn’t explicitly surfaced their motivations, the tension became a “thing” inside the business. A silent drag on trust and decision-making.

Here’s what they’re now doing to shift the dynamic.

In future partnership conversations, they committed to asking:

1. What exactly are we optimizing for right now?
2. How will we measure progress?
3. What risks are we willing—and not willing—to take?
4. And most importantly: What shared principles will guide our decisions when we disagree?

Naming those things aloud removes the fog of implicit actions and instead makes their priorities explicit.

Now, instead of fearing misalignment, they’re designing for alignment. And I’m excited to see what comes of the new approach.

Coaching Questions to Apply This to Your Business

1. In what ways are you implicitly acting out what you want in your business without saying it directly to the people it impacts?
2. If you could put words to that desire, what would you say you really want?
3. What feels risky about stating it clearly?
4. How might naming it accelerate your progress—or strengthen your relationships?

Conflict itself isn’t a problem. But avoiding the conversation often is.

Tension is a signpost. It points to unspoken trade-offs or unresolved needs.

Try naming what you really want this week in your business, in a partnership, or in your personal life. See what shifts.

Much love and respect,

The post Stop Acting It Out. Say What You Want. (Little Leadership Lessons) appeared first on Barrett Brooks.

I’m sitting in my garden typing this to you this morning. It’s a beautiful day in the Pacific Northwest and I’m enjoying some peaceful moments before another busy week of works kicks off on Monday.

I hope you’ll grab a cup of coffee or tea and find a moment of peace and quiet in your own world to enjoy this week’s newsletter with me.

And of course, I always love hearing from you. Please do hit reply and tell me if this one resonates with you (and why) or share something that you’re challenged by in your business right now.

Let’s get to it!

A Beautiful Photo to Quiet Your Body and Mind

As a reminder, each edition of this newsletter is the direct learning from a $1,500 coaching session translated to you and your business in 10 minutes or less. Here’s this week’s…

The Situation

In a recent group coaching session, one client—a creator in the food and lifestyle space—shared something that hit a nerve.

They said their business didn’t feel like it was doing “enough.” Something about it just didn’t feel quite meaningful enough. what she was building doesn’t really matter because… because why?

It came out in phrases like: “It’s just content.” … “It’s just recipes.” …“It’s not really important.” … “It’s not making a real difference in anyone’s life.”

They were laced with judgment that felt foreign to what I know of this entrepreneur. Like there was an external voice weighing in on their worth.

When I asked her to define what “enough” would look like, she paused. She didn’t know.

There was a vague sense of misalignment—like something was off—but she couldn’t name it. That’s when I knew there was more to be discovered.

The Emotional Blocker

As we explored, I asked: “Is there anyone whose business or career you admire? Someone who represents a future you might want for yourself?”

She hesitated. Then said, “Well… hmm no, I don’t think it’s relevant.”

That sounded like another external judgment to me, so I decided to dig in. “Let’s just assume that it doesn’t matter whether anyone else thinks the person is relevant. It only matters that it makes sense with you. Who might it be?”

“I don’t know… I guess someone like Joanna Gaines?”

That name stopped me. As soon as I heard it, everything made so much sense in my mind. And Joanna Gaines was one of the most relevant names I could think of. But why didn’t my client see it that way too?

She explained: Joanna has built a wildly successful business empire out of design, home cooking, and lifestyle content. Things some people dismiss as “soft” or unimportant.

But Joanna has treated them seriously, to the tune of an estimated net worth of $50M. She’s brought intention, style, and serious business sense to categories many people might dismiss.

That’s what my client admired: Someone who took beauty, creativity, and warmth, and scaled it without apology.

And so the real issue came into view… this entrepreneur doesn’t think her work is meaningless. She just hadn’t yet given herself permission to dream even bigger.

The Breakthrough

The truth was this: She didn’t feel like her business was “enough” because she wanted more. We dug in on what “more” might look like.

1. Working in person
2. With a talented and growing team
3. In a beautiful physical space
4. On an expanding product line
5. Including digital and physical products
6. And growing it into her own empire

When she said it out loud, she smiled and let out a big breath. (A large sigh or release of breath is a telling sign that a client has had a big emotional release).

“How does it feel to say it out loud?” I asked.

She sat quietly for a moment and then replied, “I guess I never realized I can just say what I want. Like… wait, I can just build that?”

Yes. You can.

That’s the gift of entrepreneurship. You get to name the business you want. And then you get to build it. No permission needed. No external judgments factor in. What matters is that you see what you want and you build a profitable business around it.

Once we put our finger on it, we knew the discomfort didn’t come from outside judgment. That was just a remnant of something in the past that was ready to be let go.

No, the discomfort came from a gap between her current reality and the future she hadn’t yet named. Once she named it, the shame and judgment fell away.

What replaced it was excitement, clarity, and momentum.

Coaching Questions to Apply This to Your Business

1. Where are you telling yourself your work “isn’t enough”—and why?
2. What kind of business would feel right-sized for your joy, creativity, and growth? Write down every element.
3. What would you build if you weren’t trying to meet anyone else’s expectations? Would you play bigger or smaller if you let go of the perceived judgment of others?

Some people fear maintaining the beautiful business they’ve built because being content will be judged as “not enough.” And some people have a belief that if they grow too much, they’ll be judged just as harshly for “getting too big for their britches.”​
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If you’re going to be judged no matter what you do, you might as well build the business you really want. That business will be most sustainable in the long run. And joyful. And fun. Because joy and fun do matter.

Much love and respect,

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