Paws Rewind

Show Finale — Random Questions and Goodbyes: FH086

Mon, 17 May 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Feminine Hijinx has been quite the ride, and now we’re stepping away to move on to other projects. On this bittersweet episode, we say our farewells and answer goofball questions drawn from a Lil Yachty Reeses Puffs cereal box. In other words, you don’t want to miss this one. Love and other indoor sports, xoxo Angie and Susie

Let’s Talk About “High Maintenance”: FH085

Mon, 10 May 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Popularized in the film, When Harry Met Sally, the term “high maintenance” has become part of our modern language. We discuss the meaning of the word, and examine its implications. Also featured on the episode: Suz finds the Clubhouse and Angie shares the details of her cat’s high kicks.

Celebrate Mother’s Day With These Disgusting Retro Recipes: FH084

Mon, 03 May 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Nothing says motherly love like a raw-egg platter centerpiece or a meat doll. This week, we’ve unearthed some of the best-worst recipes that made the ’50s/’60s/’70s oh-so classy and gelatin-forward. Also featured on this episode: Susie breaks free and enjoys some pre-Covid goodness, and Angie’s excited about the prospect of actually hugging her daughter on her 25th birthday.

Celebrity Morning Routines — So Much to Say: FH83

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Guess what? Jennifer Aniston splashes her face *25 times* with ice water every morning. Plus, Orlando Bloom “eye-gazes,” and Gwyneth’s Goopy goo is, um, something else. This week, we dish about the good, the bad, and the just plain weird celebrity morning routines; we also share details about our own. Additionally featured on this episode: Susie found a cookbook whose recipes’ key ingredient is harvested from the human body … the male human body, that is; Angie finds cool stuff going with the flow on a mini vacay.

Let’s Talk About the Billie Eilish Doc, The World’s a Little Blurry: FH082

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Even if you aren’t familiar with her (amazing) music, you’ve at least by now heard of the award-winning, mega-talented vocal artist, Billie Eilish. We watched The World’s a Little Blurry, and walked away with all the feelings. We unload those feelings on you this week, dear listeners. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s back in the Shadows and Angie gets cheesy.

Let’s Talk About Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, by Alison (Nellie Oleson) Arngrim

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 06:00:00 +0000

As we continue work on our Little House book, we run across gems that simply must be shared. This week, we review Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated, by none other than the fabulous Alison Arngrim, the actress who played the prairie bitch herself, Nellie Oleson. We think you’ll love this funny, surprising, and revealing memoir as much as we did. Also featured on this episode: Susie wonders, “what’s next,” and Angie’s arm’s getting some action from Pfizer dose #2 this week.

Never Have I Ever: FH080

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Remember that drinking game, Never Have I Ever? This week we invite you to play along with us as we try the podcast (non-drinking, damn it) version. We cover skinny dipping, ignoring the five-second rule, fake IDs and more. Also covered on this episode: Susie’s making a Dexter-inspired birthday treat, and Angie’s excited about Homecoming.

What Topics Can You Talk to Absolute Death? FH:079

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 12:00:00 +0000

Are there subjects you could stay up all night talking about? Have your friends and family begun to tune you out when you go on and on and on … and on about certain topics? This week, we reveal our top three “I could talk this to death” topics, and try to guess each other’s choices. Also featured on this episode: Susie prepares for the arrival of the “Shire Collection” and Angie has a mystery bruise (again).

Let’s Talk About Superstitions: FH078

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Do you knock on wood? Pick up pennies? This week we share our own superstitions and Suz brings some wacky ones we’re pretty sure you’ve never heard. You may be inadvertently summoning evil spirits to the dinner table! Also on this episode, Susie fights fruit flies and Angie’s headed out of town for birthday shenanigans.

Tattoo You: FH077

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 06:00:00 +0000

Do you have a tattoo? Is it anywhere interesting? This week, we share our differing opinions and experiences with the ol’ ink. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s baking a 100-year-old cake and Angie’s ready to shake her booty with disco lights.

Let’s Talk About Ghosts: FH076

Mon, 08 Mar 2021 07:00:00 +0000

Do you believe in ghosts? Haunted houses? Sex with poltergeists? We get in the spirit this week and share our opinions and experiences with the supernatural. Also featured on this episode: Susie drops the needle on the Golden Record and Angie’s already poured a second bowl of cereal.

Prairie Fashion: Yea or Nay?: FH075

Mon, 01 Mar 2021 07:00:00 +0000

Have you noticed all the prairiecore (yes, it’s a legit term) clothing lining the racks at Target and in popular fashion magazines? Somebody call the Oleson Mercantile — we’ve got a trend on our hands! This week we churn out some solid opinions on this style, and share how our thoughts may have shifted a bit over past months. Also featured on this episode: Susie get colorful and Angie’s planning a unique date night.

Pondering The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel: FH074

Mon, 22 Feb 2021 07:00:00 +0000

We love a good true crime series, and Netflix serves us up a mysterious (or not-so-mysterious?) vanishing at the notorious Cecil Hotel. We share our thoughts on some of the angles this docu-series features that aren’t always examined in other true crime stories. Also included on this episode: Susie’s revisiting a creepy (but lovable) old friend, and Angie’s hittin’ the road.

Let’s Talk About Cheesy Love Songs: FH074

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 07:00:00 +0000

Whether it’s pure schlocky sentiment or simply a sweet love song — don’t lie — you fall prey to a cheesy tune or two. We unveil each of our top three picks, plus some runners up. Also featured on this episode: Susie wants you to be her bro-tato chip, and Angie share her thoughts on My 600-lb Life.

The Wilder Side of Valentine’s Day: FH073

Mon, 08 Feb 2021 07:00:00 +0000

Edible underwear, sexy “Connect Four,” French maid outfits … we’re dishin’ about the naughtier side of the big V.D. this week. You wouldn’t believe some of this stuff Suz found — could the Eiffel Tower be a sex toy? You bet your thigh-high patent leather boots it is! Also featured on this episode: Susie’s got a double scoop of Night Stalker, and Angie’s margarita game’s on fire.

Let’s Talk About Atomic Habits, by James Clear: FH072

Mon, 01 Feb 2021 07:00:00 +0000

Making big habit changes by making tiny habit changes? Confused? We’ll hopefully un-confuse you this week when we review the best-selling book, Atomic Habits. And yeah, there’s potty talk (surprised?). Also featured on this episode: Susie loses some of her sweetness and Angie’s got an “everything old is new again” update.

Make Your Personal Retreat a Slay-cation: FH071

Mon, 25 Jan 2021 07:00:00 +0000

A personal retreat can look any way you want it to look. A time-out for yourself to reflect on your personal life and/or career can be more than a stay-cation — it can be a SLAY-cation! We share ideas for creating your retreat, as well as our experiences re-treatin’ ourselves. Also featured on this episode: Susie gives us the 411 on dinosaur buttholes and Angie has an important candy-related announcement.

Let’s Talk About Nic Cage’s The History of Swear Words: FH070

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 07:00:00 +0000

We can’t get enough of the amalgamation of Nic Cage, legit scholars, a few comedians, and the roots of our favorite 4+-letter words. This week we review Netflix’s docu-series, The History of Swear Words. Get off your asses and watch it, friends. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s rockin’ out in more ways than one, and Angie’s figured some s**t out.

Word Up! What Your 2021 Word?: FH069

Mon, 11 Jan 2021 07:00:00 +0000

What if you skipped the usual resolution and instead chose a word that captures how you want to FEEL next year? What’s your word? We share our words — rated G and expletive — for the new year. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s still decking the halls and Angie spent an hour and a half spitting into a vial.

Let’s Talk About HBO’s Bee Gees Doc: FH068

Mon, 04 Jan 2021 07:00:00 +0000

We watched the Bee Gees documentary, How Do You Mend a Broken Heart, and have some definite opinions and facts to share. BTW, did you know that Robin Gibb was a childhood pyromaniac? And there’s a “missing” Gibb family member? Also featured on this episode: Susie’s giving away 12 Days of tarot readings and Angie was New Year’s partying to one of her favorite local bands.

The Upsides of 2020?: FH067

Mon, 28 Dec 2020 07:00:00 +0000

We agree that 2020 was an overall crap year, but this week we’re deep diving to recall some of our positive experiences and wins. Also featured on this episode: Susie gets devilish and Angie’s treating herself.

Childhood Christmas Gifts of the ’70s and ’80s: FH066

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Was there a childhood Christmas gift of which you have especially fond recollections? Are you still bitter about the present that never made it under the tree? Was any of the bitterness Dream House or Snoopy Sno Cone-related? Well then we’re preachin’ to the choir on this week’s episode. Not only do we take a walk down Gen X memory lane, we also share what kind of gift givers and receivers we now are as adults. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s streaming Christmas horror (obviously) and Angie’s vision goes on an acid trip.

Little Christmas on the Prairie: FH065

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashioned Ingalls family Christmas, even if Carrie is the most annoying child on the prairie? We revisit “Christmas at Plum Creek” from season one of Little House on the Prairie, and (of course) Pa’s sweaty pits are mentioned, along with the possibility of a Little House/Hot Tub Time Machine mash-up. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s Covid-y husband is emerging from quarantine, and Angie’s gettin’ her (non-nun) habit on.

A Very Special Serial-Killer Holiday Episode: FH064

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 07:00:00 +0000

It’s the holidays, so why not discuss the Zodiac Killer? Well, one of the murders was around Christmastime. Our special guest (and Susie’s daughter!), Vivian Shubert, has a master’s degree in Criminal behavior, and weighs in on the accuracy and and overall story depicted in the 2007 film, Zodiac. Also featured on the episode: Susie has a fungus among-us, and Angie spent time in a cave.

Making the Most of a Weird Holiday Season: FH063

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Once we get past the fact that holidays don’t HAVE to look exactly as they have in the past, we can move on and create a season that’s as different (or bizarre) as our hearts desire. We toss around ideas from outside sources, and chit-chat about how 2020 is putting its weird-ass thumbprint on our own holiday traditions. Also featured on this episode: Susie has a spooky Thanksgiving and Angie celebrates the life of pie.

Unconventional Gratitude: FH062

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 07:07:00 +0000

Toilet paper, squirrels, opposable thumbs, and farts are just a few of the goodies we sometimes take for granted, yet for which we have huge gratitude. Join us as we compare notes on the not oft recognized sources of joy that surround us every day. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s pumped about turkey day, and Angie’s not excited about coming clean.

Advice We’d Give Our Younger Selves: FH061

Mon, 16 Nov 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Stop being so guy crazy. Study harder in school. Learn to manage money. Don’t put the wooden spoon between that boy’s butt cheeks. Those are just some samples of the oodles of advice we’d give our younger selves. What advice would you give little you? Also featured on this episode: Susie’s feeling constipated and Angie’s gets dirty.

Let’s Talk About Unconventional Self Care: FH060

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 07:01:00 +0000

Do you think cleaning out your purse is self care? You bet it is. We share our favorite out-of-the-box self care practices — you may already be doing some of them! Also on this episode: Susie wants to know what you’d do if you knew you wouldn’t fail, and Angie’s reading a book about Hollywood Squares.

Fashion Mistakes That Age You? Really?: FH059

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 13:00:00 +0000

We reflect on another oh-so-confusing article that tries to tell us women the items not to wear/things not to do — this time, because they age us. Most of them are questionable, but we both agree nude pantyhose with reinforced toes are probably a no-go. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s husband steals her candle and leaves town, and Angie’s had some heartache.

Halloween Hijinx: FH058

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Do you like carving pumpkins? Come on, be honest. It’s that spooky season again, and we celebrate by sharing our favorite scary movies (scary is relative, of course), candy, costumes, and traditions we secretly can’t stand. Also in this episode: Susie’s tech challenges are all Mercury’s fault and Angie gets glam.

Let’s Talk About Swearing: FH057

Mon, 19 Oct 2020 06:00:00 +0000

There’s science that says people who swear like sailors lie less often and have more integrity than the non-potty mouthed ones. We discuss this very important topic, and share our favorite swear words. Also featured on this episode: Susie strings us along in more ways than one, and Angie flirts with yet another deadline.

Facts About Women’s Bodies Men Probably Don’t Know: FH056

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Women’s bodies are complicated, but men (and some women) may be surprised at some of the wild and wonderful things it can do. Also featured on this episode: Susie celebrates 27 years of wedded bliss, and Angie’s obsessed with a hidey-hole.

Are You Brand Loyal?: FH055

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Do the quality of zips matter on your storage bags? Do you split hairs over hair care products? This week, we spill the products to which we’re brand loyal … and speaking of spills, don’t even come at us with anything other than a select-a-size paper towel. Also featured on this episode: Susie admires the trek from Poo-Poo Point to Pee-Pee Creek (naturally), and Angie’s broken the seal on her favorite seasonal munchie.

A Few of Our Favorite Things: FH054

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Are you obsessed with anything lately? There are a few things totally blowing our skirts up, and we want to tell you all about them. Listen in to hear our current preoccupations in music, sandwiches, drinks, magical personal care products and more. Also featured in this episode: Susie lives next door to spider condos and Angie gets the “short-legged dog” report every morning.

Things That Sound Better Than They Actually Are: FH053

Mon, 21 Sep 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Fancy sports cars and shower sex are just a couple of ideas that seem fun, but really, where do you put your groceries in that tiny car? How do you keep from slipping in the shower and injuring yourself? Also featured on this episode: Susie’s getting daily KISS alarms, and Angie’s recovering from movin’ on up.

Are You a Fashion Plate?: FH052

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 06:00:00 +0000

How would you describe your style? Do you track the latest fashion trends, or do you have no time for those bollocks? This week, we share our opinions on this year’s fashion passions, and put our own labels on each other’s looks. Also featured in this episode: Susie waxes poetic over candles, and Angie’s added a new slang word to her vocabulary.

How to Get a Husband (According to 1958): FH051

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 06:00:00 +0000

“Get a sunburn.” Yep, that’s one of the “129 Ways to Get a Husband” as detailed in a 1958 issue of McCall’s magazine. Seriously, some of these are real doozies, and we share our favorites from the retro article. Also featured on this week’s episode: Susie’s styled herself into a new job and Angie’s found another garbage TV show.

How’s Your Mental Health These Days?: FH050

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 06:00:45 +0000

After nearly six months of social distancing and isolation, we look toward the winter months and wonder, “How the hell are we gonna to do this?,” especially those of us who live in colder climates. This week we reveal how our mental health has been affected by the pandemic, and share our plans for making the indoor-ness of winter tolerable. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s a glorious birthday girl, and Angie kicks some fruit fly ass.

Want Some Wine With Those Cheesy Movies? FH049

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 06:00:00 +0000

There are good movies, there are bad movies, and there are ALSO good-bad movies. We share our favorite terrible-but-can’t-look-away films, and each review the cheesy movie that was assigned by the other one. Yeah, there are some doozies, folks. Also featured in this episode: Susie shares her full moon, and Angie makes an exciting purchase that’s bigger than a bread box.

How Much is Too Much TMI?: FH048

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Are you comfortable with others sharing info with you about their injuries? Their sex lives? Their money situations? How do YOU feel about sharing your own personal information? This week we reveal the topics we think are TMI — yes, we do have boundaries! Also featured in this episode: Susie drops a bomb on her husband’s meditation, and Angie’s finding mysteries from across the pond.

Asking for What You Want (What-cho-want?): FH047

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 06:00:00 +0000

It’s a special Wednesday episode! Sometimes it’s hard to ask for what you want. Whether it’s about money, friendship issues, or even bedroom-related requests, we’re making ourselves totally vulnerable when we ask. But guess what? The answer is always no unless you DO ask! This week, we share experiences and ideas around this very subject. It’s also perfect timing because we’re kicking off a brand new Patreon fun-a-palooza, and you can become a patron for as little as $3 a month! We’re asking you to help support a podcast run by a couple of weird, creative women who are making their dreams come true. Plus, there are rewards! Check us out at patreon.com/femininehijinxpodcast — thank you!

Back to the Desert Island: FH046

Mon, 10 Aug 2020 06:00:00 +0000

While we’re preparing a special Wednesday episode, we invite you to return to one of our very favorite ones: Desert Island Wish Lists, which originally aired on February 24, 2020.

Would you bring Champagne as your only drink on a desert island? One of us would. How about a fancy adjustable bed? Yep — one of us definitely would. This week we reveal our desert island wish lists, and Angie is a cheater. Also featured in this episode: Susie finds she underestimated a classic horror film, and Angie plans to sew some clothing (ass-less chaps?).

Diggin’ the Gig Economy: FH045

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 06:02:00 +0000

What the heck is the gig economy, and have the changing times driven more people in that direction? We get giggy wit’ it on this week’s show as we share our own ups and downs working non-traditional jobs. Also featured on this episode: Susie is psyched for the release of her 2021 Badass Planner, and Angie’s 2021 Texts from Mittens daily calendar is here, too!

Cosmetics – Making It Up As We Go Along: FH044

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 06:04:00 +0000

One of us can fit all her cosmetics into a wee bag, and the other is a self-professed makeup junkie. We reminisce about the pastel makeup palettes and Bonne Belle glosses of our youth, and share current makeup habits and go-to product faves. Also featured on this episode: We review the movies we assigned to one another, and both agree that Walter Mercado is our favorite superhero.

How Often Do You Perform Housework Tasks – We Come Clean: FH043

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 06:05:00 +0000

Do you clean your toilet daily? Do you dust once every two weeks? Do you flip your mattress when the moon is in Aquarius? Seriously! We review what the “experts” have to say about how often we should be tackling certain household chores, and then compare notes on our own habits. You may or may not be grossed out – or perhaps you’ll feel better about your own housework situation. Also featured in the episode: Susie revisits The Boy in the Bubble, and Angie gets busy with her Ylang Ylang.

Never Bored with Board Games – Then and Now: FH042

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Did Perfection make you jump out of your skin? Did you pick the nerd or the surfer in the Mystery Date board game? We talk current and vintage board (and some 3-D) games — the ones we loved and the ones we coveted. Also featured on this episode: Susie’s Lord of the Rings candles have arrived (hallelujah!), and Angie’s achieved her Reiki certification, and her energy is on fire — look out!

Don’t Be a Nellie Oleson: FH041

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 06:00:00 +0000

We watched the Little House on the Prairie episode, “Country Girls,” and and are even more certain Nellie (and her snooty mother) are straight from the bowels of Mean Girl Hell. Then we share our own mean girl experiences and agree that we’d never go back to middle school. Also in the episode: Susie waxes poetic about Lord of the Rings candles and Angie wonders if a dental cleaning is worth a possible ticket to COVID-town.

You’re My Obsession: FH40

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Shoes, perfume, dogs with short legs … our obsessions are all over the board, but they have one thing in common: we can’t stop thinking about them. This week, we reveal the tangible and intangible goodies that preoccupy our thoughts. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s hairstylist has floated off into the ether, and Angie’s excited about getting (kinda) close to Suz again.

Is “Lady” Offensive? We Have Opinions: FH039

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 06:00:39 +0000

To “lady” or not to “lady” — that is this week’s question. Some find the word offensive or demeaning, while others believe it’s all about the context in which it’s used. We discuss the finer and no-so-finer points of the subject. Also featured on this episode: Susie shares her COVID-19 test results, and Angie’s smooth sailing with yacht rock.

Gen X in the Workplace – Who Are We?: FH038

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Gen Xers possess traits and values that suit certain types of jobs — at least that’s what some “experts” tell us — and (surprise!) we definitely have thoughts on the subject. Also featured on this episode: Susie shares her experience with an up-close-and-personal COVID-19 test, and Angie’s celebrating a year of wedded bliss AND is a total badass in the dental chair.

Finesse the Stress – FH037

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 12:00:00 +0000

Many people are feelin’ some stress these days, y’all. From meditating to laughing to having a cocktail (or three), we share how we best manage our stress levels. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s trying her best to process current events, and Angie’s going car shopping.

Mid-Life Movie Review – Where’d You Go, Bernadette? : FH036

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 12:00:24 +0000

Let’s celebrate meaty roles for middle-aged women! We discuss 2019’s Cate Blanchett film, Where’d You Go, Bernadette? Do you ever feel so overwhelmed and mixed up that you want to just disappear? So did Bernadette. We can’t wait for you to hear our opinions on this movie. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s diet-schmiet update and Angie’s first foray into socializing — maybe?

Diets-Schmiets — What We’ve Tried: FH035

Mon, 25 May 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Susie’s on a new diet to reset her metabolism; no, she hasn’t killed anyone … yet. This week we talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly of diets (fad and otherwise) over the years. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s family gets inappropriate with the original Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie, and Angie’s got some tooth-telling to do.

Our Annoying Habits, Amplified by Close Quarters: FH034

Mon, 18 May 2020 06:00:00 +0000

We own up to our habits that are probably driving our families up a wall during this stay-at-home time. One of us is a sniffle-upagus, and the other cuts some mean farts during TV time. Also featured in the episode: Susie’s lovin’ her new appliance, but could do without the delivery person’s, um, quirk; and Angie’s high on pain meds in preparation for a not-so-fun procedure.

Happy Mother’s Day, MOFOs!: FH033

Mon, 11 May 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Whether you mother another human, a plant, a pet, or even yourself, being a mom can be such a love/hate experience. We share our motherhood ups and downs, and decide we’re all some bad mama jamas. Also featured in this episode: Susie gets some disappointing news, yet remains hopeful; and Angie gives the scoop on some unfortunate poop.

COVID-19 “Beauty” Routines: FH032

Mon, 04 May 2020 06:00:21 +0000

Do we really need a “beauty” routine if we’re not leaving the house? Seriously, who’s still wearing a bra? This week is all about the current state of our daily attempts — or lack thereof — to be pretty and clean shaven. Also featured in this episode: LinkedIn thinks Susie should be a secret agent, and Angie’s hit the bottom of the barrel on reality shows.

What’s Your COVID-19 Alter Ego?: FH031

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Are you giving yourself the green light to do things you wouldn’t have done pre-quarantine? Daily happy hour at 4:30, anyone? How about newfound healthy habits?This week we reveal our COVID-19 alter egos, and the glory of baked goods and salty snacks. Also featured in this episode: Susie can’t help buying something that makes absolutely no practical sense during these times, and Angie gets her Beastie on.

Childhood Gen X-isms — Do You Remember?: FH030

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 06:00:00 +0000

“That hunk is so choice. Totally.” Yeah, there were definitely some words and phrases we used growing up in the ’70s and ’80s. Fer sure. We revisit some of those, and also remember weird sing-songs and rhymes — you know, the ones we jump roped and hand clapped to back in the day. Oh, and the slumber party games (Bloody Mary, anyone?). Also featured in this episode: Susie’s faith in community has grown out of a disaster that affected a loved one, and Angie’s hooked on another cheesy reality show.

Parenting Adult Children, or The (F)Art of Letting Go: FH029

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 06:00:00 +0000

How does parenting change when our young ones leave the nest? We sure don’t want to get all up in their business, but it’s HARD, y’all. This week, we chat about the challenges and rewards of being a parent to our grown-ass children — and for that matter, what it felt like for US to be parented as adult children when we left home. Also featured in this episode: Susie wonders if any other family is as inappropriately silly as hers, and Angie finds ways to keep sane in this weird new world. Oh, and someone may have gotten her hands on a fart machine.

Busting Over-40 Myths, COVID-19 Politeness, and Bank Robbers: FH028

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Some “experts” think all our big life moments are over once we pass 40. Others think we no longer need to wear deodorant. We completely disagree about those and a whole lot of other crazy mid-life myths. Also featured in this episode: Susie thinks a virus shouldn’t mean “no manners,” and Angie wonders if she should wear a bank robber mask.

Staying Sane During COVID-19 Insanity: FH027.

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 14:26:52 +0000

We’re all in the same boat these days, and the ship’s gettin’ real tight, folks. This week, we share our own methods for shaping a new normal without killing everyone in our households. Also featured: creating order in disorder, and should we feel guilty eating all our isolation snacks in one day?

Middle-Age and Body Betrayal, Weird Medicinal Side Effects, and a Clunky Reality Show: FH026

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 06:00:00 +0000

What’s going on with our loose bladders and sagging skin? We love our bodies, but sometimes certain parts and functions have a mind of their own as we age. We gripe and also praise our middle-aged bodies and all they do (or don’t do). Also featured in this episode: Susie can’t seem to dodge strange side effects, and Angie’s lost 45 minutes of her life watching a clunky British reality show.

50th Birthday Hijinx, Spring Fever, and AARP Conundrums: FH025

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Angie turns 50, and has a very important question about Jell-O shots. We learn about throwing garbage at 30-year-old single men, and other bizarre birthday traditions from around the world. Also featured in this episode: Susie confirms that 40 degrees IS the perfect coffee-on-the-porch weather, and Angie wonders if she should give in to the AARP “propaganda.”

Strange-but-True Childhood Fears, Tech Troubles, and Surprise Farts: FH024

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Gen X kids grew up with fears of nuclear war and having their face on the side of a milk carton. This week, Angie and Susie recall those, as well as weird-ass fears of shoes, whales, and accidentally opening portals to hell. Also featured on this episode: Susie wonders why technology has to have so many remotes and inputs, and Angie can’t decide if loud farts are worse than the silent-but-deadly ones.

Mid-Life Role Models, Tiny Cauldrons, and Game Night Madness: FH023

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 07:02:00 +0000

There’s no shortage of middle-aged people out there kicking ass, and they inspire us! Seriously, Helen Mirren’s a total fox with a heart of gold … and who wouldn’t want Michelle O’Bama’s arms? Also featured in this episode: Susie’s gettin’ witchy, and Angie farted at game night.

Desert Island Wish Lists, Leatherface Love, and Project Runway Inspiration: FH022

Mon, 24 Feb 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Un-Guilty Pleasures, a Creepy Hotel, and Tiny Houses: FH021

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Don’t you think you should just like what you like — no guilt? We do too! Own those donuts, yacht rock tunes, and cheesy Hallmark movies! Also featured on this week’s episode: Susie may or may not have stayed at a haunted hotel, and Angie wonders where she’d put litter boxes in a tiny house.

Coffee Substitutes, Valentine Self-Love, and Smelly Gloves: FH021

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 07:00:00 +0000

This week’s episode should probably be called, ‘What the Smell?” We try coffee substitutes and have definite opinions about their tastes and smells. Also featured this week: “Smell my pits!;” dating yourself for Valentine’s Day; childhood memories of “Country Crotch” butter substitute; and Angie’s disgusting gloves. Enjoy!

The Why We Can’t Sleep Book – Gen X Women + Midlife Crisis: FH020

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Are Gen X women facing unique roadblocks? Author Ada Calhoun thinks so, and we agree. This week, we dig into Why We Can’t Sleep: Women’s New Midlife Crisis, and gab about the book, as well as our own experiences and coping strategies. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s husband’s otherworldly experience with pork nugs, and Angie’s empty nesting for the second time around.

Underwear! Furniture Fun! Condo Curiosity! FH019

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 07:00:00 +0000

What kind of underwear do YOU wear? Has your changing body or age affected the type of skivvies you purchase? This week we share our own exciting (and no-so-exciting) underwear journeys, as well as muse over such topics as period panties and bubble-wrap chaps. Also featured in this week’s episode: Susie’s mid-century furniture frenzy and Angie’s condo-manifesting madness.

Mom’s Advice, Killer Party Themes, and Birthday Hoopla: FH018

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 07:01:00 +0000

Are we turning into our moms? We share advice our mothers gave us, including marriage wisdom and boob-touching magic. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s tool-stealing, Angie’s opinions on American cheese and mayo, and Gwyneth’s overpriced vag candle.

Personality Color Madness, Road Trip Poop, and the Many Faces of Kicking Ass: FH017

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 07:00:48 +0000

What does your favorite color say about you? We dig into colorful personalities and try not to throw too much shade. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s a not-so-secret Hamburgler; people are sunning “where the sun don’t shine,” Angie slows the F down; and … who the hell gets the right to decide the color of the year?

Goofin’ on 2020 Wellness Trends: FH016

Mon, 06 Jan 2020 07:00:00 +0000

Compression boots, sober curiosity, and animal flow classes — we chew the fat on these and more wellness trends of the new year. Also in this episode: Angie walks into a glass wall, and Susie puts the skids under entertaining.

New Year’s Revolution, Felt Up With a Pen, and Whooping Cough PSA: FH015

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 07:02:00 +0000

Happy 2020! New Year’s resolution? How about a New Year’s REVOLUTION? Let’s get real up in here, friends. Also on this week’s episode: Susie makes her goals in cavewoman-speak; Angie has a relationship with her pens; a discussion on the “gift” of whooping cough; twerking shenanigans — and, as always — much more!

Gen X Holiday Nostalgiarama, Inappropriate Sibling Gifts, and Christmas Tree Accidents: FH014

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 07:00:43 +0000

Remember Christmas in the 70s and 80s? We relive our Christmas Vacation-esque memories, including such greats as a “divorce decree” Christmas carol and a nearly decapitated Christmas tree angel. Also featured: women who rock, chime candles, and crappy stocking stuffers.

FOMO Cookbook and Avoiding Holiday BS: FH13

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 07:02:30 +0000

Kick holiday stress in its shiny butt — we have ideas! Also included in this episode: the, um, interesting smell of cumin; bucking the holiday expectations system, and more!

Boy Talk in the Ladies’ Room: FH012

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 07:00:16 +0000

We’re no longer giggly teenage girls — well, no longer teenage girls — but why shouldn’t we talk about past and present crushes, celebrity or otherwise? This week, we discuss our “types” and our opinion on the Sexiest Man Alive situation over at People Magazine. Also featured in this episode: holiday shopping habits and fart-masking jeans (they’re a thing!).

Giving the Bird to Holiday Food Guilt: FH011

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 07:00:40 +0000

A second cookie? Yes, please! This week, we’re giving you the green light to enjoy all those holiday treats you enjoy, and not give one sh*t about it. Life’s too short to waste good mashed potatoes. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s chiropractor’s got boozy gifts to give, and Angie’s got the 411 on her latest cult-tastic TV find.

We’ve Got a Wild Hair: FH010

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 07:00:05 +0000

Are you ever too old to do something daring with your hair? We don’t think so. Even if you could never pull off the Farrah look back in the day, you can still rock those locks in a million different ways. Also featured in this episode: the questionable glory of canned cranberry “sauce;” marinating in gin and tonics, and more.

WTF with the RBF? FH009

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 07:00:50 +0000

Do you have Resting Bitch Face (RBF)? First of all, who cares, and why are some people only comfortable when we smile? “You look prettier when you smile.” STFU. Also featured in this episode: Susie’s been living in an Amish Paradise (sort of); and why does Angie always end up with a different version of the same haircut?

It’s a Ladies’ Room Time Machine: FH008

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 07:00:34 +0000

Applying secret make-up, gossiping, naughty rendezvous-ing, losing jewelry in the toilet — the ladies’ room has and continues to be a cornucopia of sweet, funny, and, um, interesting memories. This week, we flush out our brains and recall some of our favorite ladies’ rooms shenanigans. Also featured in this episode: bathroom stall poetry, new hairdos, and pre-holiday drinking.

We Love Rock ‘n Roll : FH007

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 07:00:58 +0000

Do you still rock the same music you did years ago? Do you turn it up to 11, even though you might embarrass family members? This week, we tune in to our musical faves from then and now, and wonder why some people don’t like artists or songs they did back in the day. Also in this episode: one of us was on jury DOODY and the other’s meditation practice is totally making waves — energy waves, that is.

The Brady Bunch Effect: Fallout from the Perfect Family: FH006

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 06:00:35 +0000

Who didn’t watch the Bradys? Whether we loved or hated them, they probably had an impact on us as kids and may have even affected how we parented. We dive into our experiences with The Brady Effect and even discuss He Who Shall Not Be Named (cousin Oliver). Also covered in this episode: one of us has a new job and the other one is doing a great job procrastinating. All of this … and more!

Your Flawsome, Awesome Body: FH005

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 06:00:45 +0000

As we age, our bodies change in “interesting” ways, but we can still rock those flawsome bods! On this episode, we gab about wrinkles, flab, and aches … and also share three things we love about our own bodies. Love on yourself! Also featured: the love/hate relationship we have with scary movies, and a woman in love with a carnival ride (for realz) — and more!

Eat, Prey, Love – Cougaring 101: FH004

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 06:00:41 +0000

We’re not cougars, but one of us thinks she could be if she were single. And what’s a “jaguar?” A “puma?” We answer these burning questions and more on this episode. Also discussed: a crazy manifesting crystal AND getting trampled by moose (not at the same time), and more!

Current Status: Footloose and Fancy F’ing Free: FH002

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 06:00:13 +0000

We chat about the variety of freedoms and don’t-give-a-shits that can happen once we reach a certain age. Why not try a new hobby — like making tiny cat sculptures out of aluminum foil? Or be totally badass and eat cereal for dinner? Also included in this episode: Susie’s surprise dates and Angie’s anxiety over … everything.

Rockin’ Your Own Damn Style After 40: FH001

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 00:10:45 +0000

You know those articles that try to convince us women what’s “appropriate” to wear after a certain age? Screw that. We break down those lists of “rules” and expose the BS. Also included in this episode: house-hunting hijinx and rubberdoll addictions.

Friendships Over 40: The Truth: FH000

Mon, 23 Sep 2019 00:00:24 +0000

Welcome to the introductory episode of Feminine Hinjinx! On our maiden voyage, we give a bit of an introduction of ourselves and the podcast before sharing our opinions and experiences with friendships on the other side of 40.

Farewell, Paws Rewind — Hello, Feminine Hijinx — PR070

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 06:00:06 +0000

On our final installment of Paws Rewind, we recall favorite episodes and the moments that gave us the biggest belly laughs. Following nostalgic talk about nostalgia, we offer an exclusive preview of our new podcast, Feminine Hijinx, where we reinvent the other side of 40 with sass, crass, and kicking ass. Listen in for the all the podcast-y goodness. Thank you for the Paws Rewind love — you’ve made it memorable and FUN!

Mötley Crüe’s “The Dirt,” Cats, and More — PR069

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 06:00:24 +0000

We go digging in The Dirt with Mötley Crüe this week on Paws Rewind. Have you seen the Netflix movie or read the book? You should — but only if you have a strong stomach. We dish the, um, details of life as an L.A. rock band back in the day. Also featured: run-ins with Axel Rose and our cats’ weird drinking and eating habits.

She’s Having a Baby, Bacon Numbers, and Cats — PR067

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 06:00:25 +0000

In honor of Labor Day, we’re dishing about the 1988 John Hughes rom-com, She’s Having a Baby starring Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern — and have very different opinions. Speaking of Kevin, what’s your Bacon number? Also included: fear of spiders, and birthin’ pets.

Sixteen Candles, John Hughes Movie Trivia, and Cats — PR066

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 06:00:49 +0000

We commiserate with Sam as her entire family forgets her birthday because her sister is marrying an oily bohunk. But Jake Ryan! Also included: lifelong learning, shopping, and cat people vs. dog people. And Happy Birthday, Susie!

Blue Lagoon, Cats on Deserted Islands, and More — PR065

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 06:00:52 +0000

This week, we get marooned on an island with Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins, and discuss her bad acting and his man-part’s multiple appearances. Well, we review more than that. Also included: introversion vs. extroversion, job searches, and what our cats would bring to a deserted island.

Scooby Doo, Nosy Cats, and More — PR064

Mon, 12 Aug 2019 06:00:29 +0000

Jinkies! This week, we pile into the ol’ Mystery Machine and hunt down some spooky memories of the classic cartoon, Scooby Doo, Where are You? Also featured: cats who get all up in our business.

Summer Employment and “If Our Cats Had Jobs” — PR063

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 06:00:18 +0000

Our summer jobs paid next-to-nothing in the 70s and 80s — and the business practices were, um, questionable at best. We reminisce about our summer gigs which were everything from “naughty” singing telegrams to stealing ice cream, and we — having both been deli workers — agree we’ll never order salads from grocery store delis again. Also featured: our cats’ imaginary employment and being an unemployed bum.

1980 After School Special: “What Are Friends For?”– PR062

Mon, 29 Jul 2019 06:00:36 +0000

Divorce and black magic? We MUST be talking about ABC After School Specials! That’s right, folks — we travel back to 1980 and dig into the cheese-filled treasure, “What Are Friends For?”. Also featured in this episode: Ouija boards and lying cats.

Meatballs Movie, Summer Camp & Weird Cat Habits — PR061

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 06:00:37 +0000

This week, we pull a couple of groin muscles during the three-legged race at summer camp. Not really, but we DID pull a couple of ab muscles from laughing about the 1979 Bill Murray classic, Meatballs. Also featured: Susie’s (unfortunate) summer camp nickname, weird cat habits, and more!

Childhood Friendships, Life Balance, & Cats — PR60

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 06:00:13 +0000

This week, we recall note-passing, letter-sending, fortune-telling, diary-writing, and all the awesomeness of childhood friendships in the ’70s and ’80s. Also covered: balancing yo’ crazy life, and ways our pets greet us when we return from vacation.

Women Role Models and Cats — PR059

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 06:00:31 +0000

We are women, hear us roar! In this episode, we celebrate the women role models of the ’70s and ’80s. From Mary Tyler Moore to Ann Romano to Billie Jean King to Princess Leia, these independent dynamos showed us that we really could make it after all. Also featured: Charlie’s Angels paper dolls, letting go of perfection, and thieving cats.

National Lampoon’s Vacation, Cats & More — PR058

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 06:00:37 +0000

We pack up the Family Truckster and hop on the holiday road with the Griswalds this week, and have opposite opinions about the hijinks en route to Wally World. Also included: the beauty of Google Calendar, staying present, and childhood vacation memories. Does your cat prefer boxes or bags? We discuss this very important topic as well.

Holiday Road cover by VTO.