Then, we talk about the Almost-Extinct Atheists and why you need to act now if you want to talk to someone who denies the existence of God... The future is Religious! (Of course, there will always be counterfeit religions to contend with. But godless Materialism, in particular, is on it's way out.)
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com ! We love to hear from you!
]]>From there, we get into animals, crawfish mounds in yards, and the lessons kids pick up from being around nature. We talk about childhood toys and the things we once considered valuable, along with feeding animals and the encounters that made the outdoors its own education.
Then we take everything we learned about sharing space as children and apply it to adults, which is where the system begins to break down. Traffic, parking, music in public, motorcycles, noise, approachability, and cultural differences all raise the same question: how much of public behavior is governed by actual rules, and how much depends on everybody choosing to not be jerks?
By the end, we’re comparing the social cues of adulthood with the much simpler negotiations of childhood, when a dirt pile, or a snow fort could settle the agenda. After jumping on trampolines we traded King of the Hill for a much more complicated game with no clearly marked hill.
]]>Does your family do anything special as a right-of-passage for the young members?
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Andrew is on the podcast... John's microphone is trash... and ASMR is the name for that tingly sensation that runs down your spine when you get your head checked for lice.
This episode also features several funny Kid Quotes from the week.
AND, Later: If you have ADHD, it's basically the same as having a superpower!
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Someone made proposal that Dolly Parton needs to be a saint, a proposal that's problematic on it's own terms but doubly probIematic when the proposition comes from an atheist. If canonization worked by popular vote, celebrities would arrive with ready-made constituencies, because fame has a way of turning reputation into evidence of virtue. Popular celebrities are assigned virtues by their fans.
The focus widens to another cultural achievement: convincing people to buy things that are readily available for free. Water, dirt, coffee, and other everyday products become examples of what happens when marketing convinces us to pay a premium price for bargain level items.
By the time the Hollywood Walk of Fame enters the discussion, movies, sainthood, products, and celebrity status are all running on surprisingly similar rules. A classic film can become too revered to remake, Dolly Parton can accumulate saintly credentials through public affection, and water or dirt can acquire value through presentation—while Hollywood puts famous names into the sidewalk and lets everybody walk on them.
]]>And speaking about off-the-cuff interactions between Christians and non-believers, a woman who wants to be famous for her chalk drawings decided to put a Nice Christian on blast this week. So a Not Nice Christian showed up. (Cue the Peaches.)
LATER: Awkward Atheists don't know what "kindness" looks like, but we have even more examples of social awkwardness. Help us reform the Group Text Ettiquette, Neighbor!
Contact the Comedian Next Door at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com and let us know if you click "thumbs up" in a group thread, even AFTER THE ADMIN SAID NOT TO RESPOND TO THE TEXT.
]]>Then somebody famous dies, and the internet demonstrates that grief is also a competitive event. We get into the rush to update Wikipedia, the speed of celebrity death reporting, and the emotional connection people have to entertainers they knew only through screens and speakers.
From there, we turn to pets in stores and other public spaces, where the old rules of pet etiquette seem to be undergoing negotiations. We also take on modern art and the argument over whether it reflects cultural decay, confuses the purpose of art, or simply gives everybody something else to argue about.
Finally, we arrive at dental visits and appointment scheduling, because everyday life remains a dependable source of comedy without requiring a screenplay.
]]>Fun facts about toads? We've got that, too!
THEN: We discuss the perils of learning to drive a vehicle with a standard transmission, and at some point Luke shares his anxiety about grass that's too long.
AND: We make a recommendation for a video almost-guaranteed to teach your toddlers their letter sounds!
LATER: We actually get down to a little business and talk about the necessity of mockery as part of a human's education. And speaking of education, do you know what 4-year-olds were learning in Shakespeare's day?!?!
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>John's ventriloquist friend has a creepy puppet. And the Three Pigs Origin Story is worth telling again!
THEN: One of the grandkids is old enough for Driver's Ed!
LATER: John wants to talk about something he read on his newsfeed. But everything on his newsfeed is about Ex-vangelicals or AI. So we tease him for that.
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We talk about the strange bargain of pet ownership, the glorious excess of rock concerts, and what happens when comedy escapes the controlled environment of an actual comedy club. Along the way, we get into audience interaction, stories from onstage and backstage, and the mysterious way music can unite a room full of strangers without requiring anyone to understand what the drummer is doing.
Our conclusion: music really is its own language, performers should enjoy themselves when they play, and most shows are just “a show.” Unless something goes terribly wrong. Then you have a story.
]]>John performed in another prison, but it was a Women's Prison this time. The female inmates have a few things in common with male inmates, but there are some amusing differences as well...
NEXT: could your daughter be headed for prison? We have some questions to consider, including "Does she wear her shoes in public, or insist on running around barefoot?"
LATER: John reads another Divorce Announcement from somebody who refuses to step down from ministry. Of course, the minister and his wife will remain Good Friends, after their divorce.
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
The conversation starts with an unexpectedly serious debate over the difference between tin whistles, recorders, and the people who insist on using the correct musical terminology, revealing that musicians have an entire vocabulary devoted to preventing anyone from casually calling the wrong instrument a flute. That attention to detail quickly collides with stories about orchestras, concert etiquette, and the realization that some instruments carry far more cultural prestige than others, despite all of them ultimately requiring someone to blow into them.
From there, the focus shifts behind the curtain of television and concert auditions, where the advertised search for raw talent turns out to involve a surprising amount of pre-screening, strategic casting, and carefully managed storytelling.
Then into memories of buying concert tickets before everything moved online. Waiting in line becomes its own form of live theater, producing strange conversations, questionable life decisions, and the shared optimism that standing outside for hours is perfectly reasonable if it eventually leads to decent seats. The same perspective extends to modern stage productions, where even legendary bands rely on lighting, effects, and carefully engineered spectacle that is seems to treat music as kind of an afterthought.
The discussion eventually drifts back to childhood, when entertainment required little more than a box containing pickup sticks, a Spirograph, or some other object that encouraged creativity instead of software updates. Those toys become reminders that entire afternoons could disappear without batteries, Wi-Fi, or downloadable content, even if the rules occasionally ended with someone insisting everyone else was playing incorrectly.
]]>Contact the comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We also compare memory techniques, laughing at how ridiculous mental images and emotional reactions often outperform serious study. We poke fun at “limited supply” marketing claims, question the habits of consumer culture, and discover that the same delight in the ridiculous connects bad advice, unforgettable names, and products nobody asked for but everyone wants to talk about.
]]>Peter Pan is over, but the memories are forever. We're thankful the old adage about terrible dress rehearsals held true!
THEN: John officially transferred his church membership! How many people even know what that means?
AND: John reads a substack article written by an ex-vangelical. (He doesn't read THE WHOLE THING, thank Heaven.)
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Along the way, they wonder when surviving the summer went from being a childhood pastime to a liability waiver. They also wander into the surprisingly passionate debate over air conditioning, including why much of Europe spent decades treating it like an unnecessary luxury—right up until the atmosphere apparently decided to become soup.
It's a funny trip back to a time when the cure for being overheated was drinking from a garden hose and then heading right back outside.
]]>AND: * The Best Story of the Week! (A new family legend, which we will tell again and again...) It's the story of the Stolen Cooler... (This story has a happier ending than the previous Stolen Cooler legend.)
LATER: The Peaches almost had to do her civic duty. But, thankfully, the kids had some good ideas for getting out of jury duty.
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . (Send us your best stories about getting caught in the rain, or solving a mystery, or being summoned for jury duty!)
]]>LATER: an update on Luke's war with the thistle. (You'll know it's time for the update when you hear the bumper music.)
We hope this episode is a good break from all the very interesting, attention-grabbing things on the internet. Contact the Comedian's family nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>From there, we wander through memorable neighborhood encounters, the strange customs that become normal once you've lived next door to them long enough, and celebration enthusiasm that crosses into illegal behavior. We also speculate as to why fireworks have become such a fixture of American celebrations, and how everyday life keeps producing stories that are far funnier than anything people would invent.
]]>First, we read a couple things from the mail bag. Our thistle problems will soon be no more!
Then, Dale Partridge is off-the-rails. But here's a story about a conservative pastor who really needs to man-up.
LATER, have you heard of Homeschoolers Anonymous? One of the founders killed himself this week. And the Roys Report had some amazingly positive things to say about him, considering his last act on earth was one of abuse toward his wife and family. (The Peaches reads from his suicide note, proving this dude was absolutely evil.)
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. :)
]]>THEN: The Peaches learned a new term, and it will either help you become a better comedian or drive you crazy. Proceed with caution.
LATER: John shares a story about when he realized his bi-polar father was losing touch with reality. But, on the plus side, he almost became the heir of an Aloe Vera Farm!
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com and let us know if you tend to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist.
]]>We're writing a song completely on the spot. No plan, no polished lyrics, just improvising our way into something that hopefully sounds intentional by the end.
We're also playing around with AI music tools. Which is exciting... and a little unsettling. We spent years learning chords, and now a laptop is like, "I made four albums while you were tuning your guitar."
All of this leads us to writing a song about Charlie Bunny. Sometimes inspiration strikes. Sometimes it hands you a rabbit named Charlie and says, "Figure it out."
So today is part songwriting, part musical experiment, part AI exploration, and part failure.
]]>LATER: How do we feel about Hollywood influencers making "documentaries" as publicity stunts?... Well, they're funny. So, there's that.
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>That discussion led naturally to sports culture, which in America occasionally transforms victory into an elaborate public works project involving overturned objects and insurance claims. We traded stories about celebrations that escalated into city-wide chaos, highlighting the peculiar civic tradition of expressing affection for a team by setting fire to things the team had never asked anyone to ignite. Along the way, we examined regional rivalries and the enduring belief that residents of other cities are fundamentally misguided people whose sports preferences reveal deep character flaws.
The focus widened to the curious presence of protestors outside Christian rock concerts, a niche activity requiring both logistical commitment and a sophisticated understanding of where Christian rock concerts are being held. We considered how these groups operate and the strange optics of objecting to music performed by people who are, on paper, already in broad ideological agreement with them.
We considered how analogies work and whether they can be trained the same way people train themselves to catch flying Frisbees or remember where they parked. Through improv exercises and whatever everyday objects happened to be nearby, we discovered that the human brain is apparently eager to connect unrelated things, which is both the foundation of creativity and the reason someone eventually compares municipal budgeting to a crockpot.
We also explored the paradox of songwriting, where jokes sometimes become hits and carefully engineered masterpieces occasionally disappear without a trace. Creating under pressure requires a willingness to chase ideas that initially sound ridiculous, while popularity itself remains stubbornly indifferent to effort, expertise, or anyone's carefully developed five-year plan. The same unpredictability surfaced in conversations about celebrity opinions, social media bans, and the mysterious mechanics by which certain people become influential while others post into the digital equivalent of an abandoned mall food court.
By the end, we had connected improv exercises, traumatic movie endings, championship riots, concert protestors, songwriting deadlines, curmudgeonly tendencies, and the fragile economics of internet fame.
]]>THEN: John thought he had a thing he wanted to mention... Should we listen to people who "just want someone to listen"?
LATER: Certain Christians genuinely feel BAD when we start spreading the Gospel and winning converts successfully. Why? Because, when we grow the invisible Kingdom of God, it starts to have an impact on the visible nations here on earth. And we have been told it's BAD to have political power.
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We revisited familiar arguments about whether the Apollo missions were genuine achievements of science or elaborate productions made with technology rivaling a 1970s science-fiction movie. Along the way, we considered Russian skepticism, flat earth theories, Antarctic ice walls, and the enduring belief that governments are capable of hiding virtually anything from the public, except tax deadlines.
From there, we turned our attention to artificial intelligence, which is rapidly advancing toward a future in which robots may drive us across town, deliver supplies in hospitals, and judge our inability to remember internet passwords. We discussed autonomous vehicles operating in Atlanta, humanoid robots under development, and the unsettling prospect of entrusting our care to machines whose understanding of compassion rivals drink dispensers. Popular culture has spent decades warning us about this outcome, although in fairness, movies also convinced us that fax machines would be important forever.
We explored Bigfoot, cryptids, ghosts, and biblical accounts involving spirits communicating with human beings. Rather than treating these topics as mere folklore, we considered them through a theological lens, discussing demonic deception, the story of Saul and the witch of Endor, and the challenge of discerning what experiences should be understood as spiritual realities rather than unexplained phenomena. Few podcasts allow for a transition from self-driving cars to ancient necromancy, but we strive to provide a well-rounded experience.
Eventually, we arrived at the universal language of childhood memories. We reminisced about the household remedies and candies that shaped entire generations, including Mentos, Vicks Vapor Rub, hot sauce, and the unwavering confidence of adults who believed that applying enough ointment could address any medical concern. These products occupied a curious space between medicine, tradition, and family mythology, passed down with the same certainty usually reserved for the laws of physics.
By the end, we had traveled from biblical geography to moon conspiracies, from robot caregivers to Bigfoot, and from ghost stories to the healing reputation of Vicks Vapor Rub. Somewhere between questioning official narratives and remembering the candy of our youth, we found ourselves reflecting on the stories people inherit, the explanations they construct, and the remarkable human ability to approach both ancient mysteries and chest congestion with absolute conviction.
]]>It's Bible camp season--but some people need to BE camp counselors more than the kids need them to be counselors...
LATER: What does an ideal apologetics course look like?
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
From there, we stumble into the world of modern comedy, where a comedian can become famous one 30-second reel at a time and then discover that getting people to watch an entire live show is a completely different skill. We look at how social media has changed the business, and why collecting views online isn't always the same thing as holding an audience's attention in a room that doesn't have a scroll button.
That naturally leads us into technology, AI, and our growing habit of interacting with screens instead of people. We wrestle with what happens to culture, faith, and ordinary human contact when more of life becomes virtual.
Along the way, we examine declining church attendance, shifting patterns of religious engagement between men and women, and the way culture seems to be breaking into smaller and smaller tribes. We wonder what happens when shared institutions disappear and everyone gets their own customized version of reality.
By the end, we're connecting all of it—retreats, comedy clubs, AI, church pews, families, and digital life. The common thread is our tendency to replace difficult, imperfect, real-world relationships with easier virtual substitutes. We don't solve the problem, but we do spend a considerable amount of time proving that friends with microphones can still gather in person and talk about it.
]]>LATER: Somebody tried to joke around with a new dad, and he made it very weird. If you want to be respected so badly, then you HAVE to be willing to laugh at yourself.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . (Tell us what you want to talk about. We can talk about ANYTHING!)
]]>From there, the focus turns toward eccentric family habits, school discipline, and the kinds of stories that grow more exaggerated every time they are retold. Much of the humor comes from small details and offhand observations, including imagined animal-hit decals, collectible crash memorabilia, and the idea of giving people exaggerated community titles based on bizarre personal moments. The episode also spends time on insects that seem impossible to kill, especially daddy longlegs and ironclad beetles, and how certain creatures develop almost mythical reputations simply because they are difficult to crush or remove.
The conversation eventually widens into reflections on diagnosis, self-identity, and the tendency to turn personal flaws into recurring jokes. Discussions about language quirks, acronyms, and pointless letters continue the episode’s interest in systems that feel unnecessarily complicated despite being part of ordinary life. By the end, broken search results, indestructible bugs, family legends, and animal silhouette decals all blend into the same loose pattern of finding humor in the routines, frustrations, and absurd logic built into everyday experiences.
]]>THEN: What does it look like to INCULCATE your children with a Christian worldview, at every stage of life? Make your toddlers apologize when they're wrong. Teach your middle schoolers to fight fairly. And encourage your highschoolers to set themselves apart from the Drama. This is no time to be dumb!
You can contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>The creative process is often a mixed bag of hilarity and dead ends. We start out thinking it's going to be 'about this' but by the end of the session, it's looking like it's going to be about 'something else.' We're not entirely sure.
But we're committed to the project! We're going to produce a song and you're invited to come along for the whole ugly, unfunny, journey!
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
NEXT: If you aren't getting into daily power battles with your toddler, are you even parenting?! The Peaches shares the most recent naptime battle...
Luke leaves the table several times, but he has some opinions, too! Reach out to the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>AND: John's beard is bringing in some compliments! DO YOU KNOW WHAT DISTINGUISHED MEANS?! (Luke has been a little aggressive since he shaved his head.)
LATER: John sent us a good article about the Pitfalls of Homeschooling, which we can't share with any of our homeschooling friends...
Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>We have been laughing a lot, because comedy is all about taking two seemingly random ideas and jamming them together in a surprising way. Let us tell you: Feminists sure are good at connecting random dots into outrage!
-Examining Moscow facebook page, not only makes false claims of sexual assault against minor children and shares their pictures online--but also will stalk a parent and use information about their children in a lame attempt to justify "protecting" people from Doug Wilson. (The loose connection between my kids' school and Doug Wilson is comedy gold!)
-"G" or "Pretty Face" showed up to talk about why the church needs to be educated about how to spot abusive people, and the Peaches agreed! But Pretty Face didn't want to talk about how to spot and deal with abusive women. Then she started using the word "Sweetie" and the mask was off. (But, boy, what a beautiful face she had under there!)
-Heather showed up just when John and the Peaches were brainstorming an excellent new marketing strategy for converting JOHN'S pretty face into cash, and Heather wrote "Oh, you have five kids, huh? I'll be sure to tell the local authorities when they do a welfare check..." She commented in several other places as well, ranting about dangerous Christians being abusive. And THEN she posted a picture of somebody's newborn granddaughter and asked "What are you going to do when she gets married and is BEATEN TO A BLOODY PULP?"
I'm telling you, it has been a busy week of unhinged women, who want the church to know how to deal with abuse situations and will be genuinely surprised when it comes back to haunt them. And that was BEFORE we got an email from "a woman" who "started a nonprofit for her daughter" and hopes that we burn in hell eternally.
An informed and educated church that handles abuse properly will not tolerate any of these antisocial behaviors from people who claim to represent Christ. Love them, but do not reward their temper fits.
But we don't stop there, because stopping there would be the decision of people with self-control, which we are not. We also get into the surprisingly deep waters of comedy theory — specifically, why the pause before a punchline is doing more heavy lifting than the punchline itself, and why the comedian who looks the most relaxed is usually the one who has rehearsed until he can no longer feel his face. (Which, depending on his grooming situation, may be a lot of face.)
We talk about self-deprecating humor as a legitimate vulnerability tool rather than just a cry for help — though, to be clear, it is sometimes also a cry for help — and we examine what it actually means to make a joke feel like a conversation instead of a hostage situation. We also address what to do when the audience goes silent, which is a thing that happens, and which feels exactly like you would imagine it feels.
Plus: DIY grooming disasters, the psychology of appearance, and the truth about hair transplants, which we are not qualified to discuss but will anyway.
Somebody brings up paper clips again. You're going to want to hear this.
]]>Beards require maintenance systems that sound suspiciously like seasonal folklore, and every choice—trim, shave, or let it grow wild—invites commentary from others who are not dealing with your face. Even AI-generated edits and plastic surgery hypotheticals get pulled in.
Food enters the conversation through sardines, which are presented as both a health miracle and a social risk. The hosts wrestle with how to eat something that is objectively good for you but emotionally challenging. This opens the door to spicy food theories, where culture, poverty, and taste preferences are examined.
Eating habits expand into intermittent fasting, cheat hours, and the strange personal negotiations people make with themselves about food. What begins as discipline often turns into a scheduling loophole, and food “bucket lists” blur the line between curiosity and poor planning. Along the way, odd cravings and experimental habits raise the question of whether humans are optimizing their diets or just entertaining themselves.
The conversation takes a sharp turn into information and belief, where fact-checking competes with nostalgia for clipping newspaper articles like tiny archives.
The episode lands somewhere between observation and confession, tying together haircuts, sardines, and public policy with the same underlying method—try something, justify it later, and hope nobody asks too many follow-up questions.
]]>First, some people like to talk about "Big Picture" theology... Some people like to study the practical applications for people in real life...
Then: John did some prison ministry this week, and it made him contemplate the Sinner's Prayer...
Later: Are Christian communities teaching their members to be wracked with guilt constantly?
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Between the three of us, we’ve collected a highlight reel of poor decisions: mow mishaps, backyard experiments, and deep thoughts about sardines, anchovies, and whatever Grape Nuts are supposed to be. We share the kind of “redneck hacks” that sound helpful right up until you try them—like stuffing a rag into a mower’s air intake to save starter fluid.
We also explore self-defense, which for us mostly means recognizing how quickly we would lose a fight. We’ve studied the irrationality of street fights just enough to conclude the smartest move is to not become a story someone else tells later.
Along the way, we uncover “truths” like the difference between reel mowers and the real mowers, the correct spelling of 'lapping compound', and why hot sauce might technically qualify as a weapon. We also spend an unreasonable amount of time debating cereal, because nothing reveals our intellectual limits faster than our fascination with the expansion rate of Grape Nuts.
We even get into emergency preparedness, which for us means looking around the house and saying, “What could this be used for instead?” Could Grape Nuts replace kitty litter? Should hot sauce be used as a fire extinguisher? We don’t recommend it, but we’ve clearly thought about it more than responsible people do.
If you’ve ever fixed something the wrong way and felt proud anyway, you’re one of us.
]]>Let us give you our recommendation for protein bars... And mints... And polish at the dentist.
THEN: We give you a muscial theater recommendation from our friend, John thomas.
LATER: What makes a movie or book "classic?" And, oh hey, here's a literature recommendation for the 12-year-olds in your life.
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Into the broader issue of animals having no respect for ownership, which pairs nicely with our discussion of slap fighting, a sport built entirely around taking turns being hit in the face without the inconvenience of defending yourself. We break down its structure, noting that it removes strategy and replaces it with endurance, while still offering the possibility of getting paid. This creates a system where participants willingly absorb open-handed strikes in exchange for money and recognition, raising important questions about whether this is sport, performance, or just organized bad decision-making.
Into other cultural phenomena that operate on a similar logic, including mascots and furries, where costumes replace identity and seriousness often produces unintentional comedy. We point out how moments meant to be dramatic in television can become funny simply by existing slightly out of alignment, much like a person in a large animal suit trying to maintain dignity. We revisit pet stories, reinforcing that animals consistently generate better material than humans.
We also compare food experiences, including trying things like Grape Nuts and sardines. These moments tie back into the same pattern: people willingly engaging in mildly unpleasant experiences, whether it’s eating dense cereal, watching slap fighting, or trusting a dog alone with furniture.
]]>The conversation pivots to attractiveness, because no discussion of airflow is complete without ranking humans. There is an earnest attempt to determine whether glasses, clothing, or accessories make someone more attractive, as if beauty operates like a sandwich where adding the right topping suddenly solves everything. This collapses into a debate about celebrity “hot lists,” which appear to be based on a complex system involving fame, timing, and the ability to wear unusual outfits without being stopped by security.
There is a deep investigation into how Grape-Nuts absorb liquid, which is the kind of research normally conducted by scientists or people who own bowls. This expands into soaking cereals on purpose and eventually into recipes like cereal milk waffle cakes, suggesting that at some point mankind looked at breakfast and thought, “What if this required more steps?”
Just when it seems like things cannot become more structured, the discussion turns to biblical references, including Ezekiel bread and the frankly concerning punishments assigned to prophets.
Then the strategy of “hiding in plain sight” is explored, accomplished by doing normal things in a slightly more deliberate way. This is followed by weddings, tuxedos, and the realization that formal attire is governed by rules and we don't know who wrote them.
The episode wraps with stories from teachers and band rooms, where discipline, performance, and wildly exaggerated punishments combine into a kind of educational theater without the education.
]]>Then: Our Sunday school class is talking about practical steps for meeting with God. But does it set an unrealistic standard for what being a Real Christian looks like?
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>From there, we get into medication commercials, where everything begins with a cheerful scene and ends with a list that takes a hard turn. You’ll hear about dry mouth and dizziness in the same breath as something that sounds like it requires immediate attention. The delivery never changes, which makes the contrast between the smiling people and the list even harder to ignore.
That leads into sleep machines, which are supposed to help by playing sounds like rain or waves. The idea is simple until you realize you’re lying there paying close attention to whether this particular version of rain sounds right. Instead of falling asleep, you’re evaluating the loop and wondering why the ocean seems to repeat every few seconds.
We then move to solitaire, where every move feels important right up until you run out of options and realize the deck had other plans. That small-scale decision-making sits next to Dwarf Fortress, where every action connects to several others and the system keeps track of all of it. One has you flipping cards and hoping for a red six; the other has you managing layers of outcomes that build on each other.
We also get into actors’ heights and how they’re adjusted on screen, especially in portrayals of dwarves, where camera angles and positioning do most of the work. Across TV schedules, side effect lists, looping rain sounds, card stacks, and dense game systems, we keep running into the same situation: you follow the setup, and then something in the details refuses to behave the way it’s supposed to.
]]>THEN: John likes Comedian Jim Breuer, but also he's worried about him. Jim is funny, but he might be a conspiracy nut...we're not sure. And also, he might be right about the fact that FEAR is a terrible master.
LATER: Somebody should tell Jim that The System has already been dismantled by Christ. Hallelujah!
Contact The Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Later: If you don't know who Patton Oswald is, we describe his facial features perfectly, so you can picture him exactly. Then John tells you what Patton said which ought to bring Patton to his knees in repentence to God, but it probably won't.
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com !
]]>Tune is to be part of the last conversation of the day!
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Our ancestors must have been dealing with different animals than the ones we currently have...
NEXT: We are having Second Winter, right on schedule. If history is a teacher, we have at least 4 more thaws-and-refreezes before Real Spring. But, if history is a teacher, Luke still won't learn.
LATER: WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. But let's talk about Artificial Intelligence again. Marcus Pittman suggestes that God was the Original Prompter, and making things with AI is a valid way to imitate God and make art. But, boy, that wasn't a popular take!
FINALLY: John reads some AI-generated "jokes" from his comedy-writing GPT. (Yikes.)
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>That moment changes how we see our own habits. Leaving the doors unlocked used to feel normal, even harmless. After that morning, it feels careless, and we end up installing an auto-locking digital system. One unexpected person on a couch is enough to turn a casual routine into a security upgrade.
From there, we wander into some childhood memories—like techniques for flattening hamsters and lizards. It’s uncomfortable and a little funny in hindsight, but mostly it’s about how small mistakes had very real results.
We also talk about AI, comparing it to a nervous friend who sounds confident but gets things wrong. That leads us into a debate about the tangled timeline in Primer and how some kids somehow guess the twist in The Sixth Sense right away. We wrap up by unpacking why hearing “you did your best” can feel like a quiet insult—like the recorder that won’t play right, the door that now locks itself, and the headlamp shining on a problem we didn’t want to see.
]]>Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Naturally this led us to celebrity culture, where authenticity is expected to be spontaneous but professionally managed at all times. We used Kid Rock as an example, mostly because nothing says “quiet spiritual reflection” like stadium lighting and pyrotechnics. We discussed how celebrities are supposed to represent their faith publicly, but only in ways that don’t inconvenience their brand managers.
We wrestled with the idea that when a famous person talks about Christianity, we immediately suspect a marketing strategy, yet when they don’t talk about it, we suspect cowardice, which is a terrific system. Wealth came up, because apparently following Jesus is simple until your house has more square footage than the New Testament. We examined how fame turns every belief into a press release and every doubt into a headline.
Hollywood, of course, typecasts everyone, including people who are just trying to have a thought, which makes it difficult to be a nuanced human when you’ve already been labeled “The Faith Guy.” We reflected on interviews, where the goal is often to sound natural while answering pre-approved questions in a room full of lighting equipment. In the end we concluded that genuine conversation is surprisingly rare, mostly because it involves two people talking without a script, which in modern media qualifies as reckless behavior.
]]>THEN: We talk about racists. Of course, you can tell who's in power by looking at who you're not allowed to criticize... And, when it comes to the Ogden Boys, you're not allowed to criticize their online shenanigans. (Read: immaturity.) So, make from that what you will.
LATER: The Peaches explains what women want.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Naturally this led us to government conspiracies, because once you realize famous people don’t have as much money as you think, it’s only a short hop to assuming someone is hiding something. We discussed survival skills for the collapse of society, a scenario everyone is very confident about despite having trouble assembling IKEA furniture. The Doomsday Clock came up, which is reassuring because it’s good to know the end of the world is being managed by people who own a clock.
We also talked about zombies, because every serious discussion eventually circles back to zombies, the one apocalypse we’ve fully rehearsed thanks to television. Along the way we touched on personal health journeys, which mostly involve learning what foods now hate us, and food preferences, which are deeply emotional and should never be questioned. Black pepper emerged as a cultural force, gold mining as an economic mystery, and hibernation as an underutilized lifestyle choice for anyone tired of the news.
In the end, the conversation proved that modern life is complicated, confusing, and possibly ending soon, but at least we can laugh about it while seasoning our food aggressively and considering a long nap.
]]>Later: Katy Faust is a pro-life activist and founder of "Them Before Us" ministries. But there was a time when she was blogging anonymously... until she was doxxed!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We also wandered through the modern shopping experience, from the strange treasures at Ollie’s to the emotional roller coaster of grocery delivery, where someone else chooses your produce and you just have to live with that. Along the way we questioned technology, nostalgia, college memories, daytime television, and why hospitals are the one place where you desperately want everyone to leave you alone while also needing them to bring snacks. Altogether, it’s a thoughtful, meandering examination of consumer culture, social behavior, and the ongoing mystery of how we got here and why the seagulls are winning.
]]>LATER: Why are certain Christians suddenly arguing against interracial marriage? The Peaches thinks it's not wise to tell white men that things are easier when you marry a white woman...
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>LATER: We're not saying that EVERY Democrat will be murdered by their own mentally-ill child... But, there are a few Leftist-leaning parents in the "community" who are wondering whether they may be next. Why are we treading so lightly on this topic?
Email the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>We also talk about resolutions, confetti, and the symbolism we attach to small moments and objects. We touch on capturing memories, saying goodbyes, and the simple pleasure found in cancellations. The conversation rounds out with a look at choosing a “word of the year” and a light, humorous critique of how fast food mascots, especially Ronald McDonald—have changed over time.
]]>LATER: What time is it RIGHT NOW? What does this hour call for? Do we need to keep talking about the threat of liberalism/Feminism and the trans-ideology? Or do we need to look ahead and see the ditch that our brothers are careening toward? (That ditch, by the way, is Conspiracy Theories and racism.)
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>
THEN: Showing John's video might have gotten a teacher fired... Kids need to be taught not to overreact and how to hold their bodies in a less-awkward way when they're on stage. (We list several other odd human behaviors, which maybe aren't so odd after all...)
LATER: Some people don't have family because they have purposefully cut ties with everyone. We talk about why that's sad. Teach your kids to stay connected with their family!
Emails us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to tell us what "odd" thing you do.
]]>Somewhere between confessing our household maintenance failures and acknowledging projects that will never be finished, we introduce “the brick,” a digital detox tool designed to help us stop staring at our phones like they personally wronged us. That opens the door to a broader conversation about distractions, modern communication, and why texting feels emotionally hollow unless it’s padded with an irresponsible number of exclamation points.
Naturally, this all slides into conspiracy territory. We explore the mysterious Tartarian civilization, debate the moon landing with just enough confidence to be alarming, and talk about how AI is quietly shaping what we believe, what we doubt, and what keeps showing up in everyone’s feed. Accents and cultural stereotypes make an appearance too, not because we planned it, but because they tend to sneak into conversations whether invited or not.
By the end, we’ve questioned reality, Christmas, technology, history, and whether or not it's reasonable to use a single emoji as a response to every situation.
]]>We also tackle the evolving role of Santa Claus, who now shares top billing with commercialism, candy canes, and whatever new toy requires a second mortgage. And when it comes to telling your kids about Santa? We discuss the delicate balance between “preserving the magic” and “accidentally launching a career in investigative journalism.” Asking questions, it turns out, might be safer than crafting a 14-chapter North Pole backstory.
Music makes an appearance too—specifically those songs that lodge themselves in your brain and refuse to pay rent. We talk about how learning the missing lyrics can finally set you free, and how modern AI is now helping create songs you’ll be annoyed by in half the time.
Add in family games, awkward commercials that break every emotional moment, kids’ songs that permanently alter the atmosphere of your home, and the amusingly alarming side effects of modern medicine, and you’ve got a holiday episode packed with cheer, chuckles, and just enough chaos to feel authentic.
It’s Christmas culture, comedy, and parental therapy wrapped in one giant, glitter-covered bow. Enjoy!
]]>
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Our own experiences weave through the chaos, shaping the way we see holiday traditions and reminding us that nothing says “festive spirit” quite like the stories you never intended to collect. Animals enter the chat, of course. They always do. We talk squirrels with tactical instincts, sloths operating on a different calendar entirely, and koalas who avoid being hunted purely on the strength of their terrible flavor profile. Nature stays weird, and we stay entertained.
The food theme escalates with bear meat, which apparently requires a preparation process similar to assembling a complicated piece of furniture. Then we pivot to winter driving, because nothing bonds people like recounting close calls with icy roads. We cover the importance of practicing on slick surfaces, understanding vehicle technology, and avoiding the sort of spin you usually only see in Olympic skating.
Christmas gigs make an appearance too, because performers in December run on adrenaline, cookies, and questionable scheduling decisions. We explore what it means to look for connection in communities where everyone seems to be part of a decades-long group chat you weren’t added to. Along the way we note that love often hides inside social events you didn’t even want to attend, waiting for you to bump into it on your way to the snack table.
By the end, we’ve toured holiday chaos, wildlife quirks, culinary adventures, winter survival skills, and the unpredictable paths that open when you say yes to new experiences. And somehow it all fits perfectly into one conversation.
]]>THEN: The Peaches has a BONE TO PICK with Andrew! (Sometimes he's just toooooo nice.)
What is the Christian's responsibility when trying to influence a non-believing roommate/tennant?
AND, LATER: Should pastors marry two non-believers, just for a chance to share the Gospel?
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Somewhere between laughing at ourselves and trying to sound wise, we tackle hope, Christmas, Advent, and the many creative ways humans navigate the emotional roller coaster between despair and optimism. We even take a stab at explaining the difference between faith and hope, mostly by admitting that perspective matters and that ours isn’t always the most reliable.
With our usual mix of jokes, confessions, and “please don’t quote us on this,” we reflect on everyday struggles and why keeping hope alive in a complicated world feels a lot like trying to keep a candle lit in a wind tunnel.
]]>The Peaches shares a story of the GROSSEST thing her brother ever did... and the MANLIEST apartment she ever tried to clean...
Then: We answer a listener question about how to know when it's time to leave your church. What if there's a problem with immodesty among certain young ladies?
Email us, Neighbor! Sometimes we respond! Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Luke has been trying in vain to bag a deer this season. But at least he has some SWEET socks! What are the similarities between a man in a deer stand and a woman shopping for cloth diapers? (We spend a SHOCKINGLY long time parsing through this.)
How many eggs are too many eggs?
Finally, we get around to bringing up Candace Owens and the insane cult behavior that may be more prevalant than the Peaches originally thought.
So what do you think, Neighbor? Send us your insights by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
We also tackled the great health debate: supplements vs. whole foods. Why take a synthetic pill when you can just eat an entire kale farm, right? Oh, and did we mention parasites? Yes, we went there. Because nothing says "funny podcast" like discussing the creepy crawlies potentially residing inside you. We also shared some questionable home remedies that probably won't cure you, but might give you a good story.
Then, we veered wildly into the chaos that is modern life! We lamented the utterly unrealistic health goals plastered all over social media—seriously, who has time for perfect yoga poses AND a pristine lawn? Speaking of which, we complained bitterly about the soul-crushing labor of lawn care before moving onto the even greater torment: fishing with our children. (Spoiler: it involves a lot of untangling and zero fish.)
To top it all off, we reminisced about the trauma of our childhood pets, finally concluding with the truly brilliant idea one of us had to own a piranha. Because clearly, we never learned any life lessons about boundaries or common sense. Basically, we proved that health, parenting, and pet ownership are all just a series of absurd, hilarious mistakes.
]]>Next, John thinks Church People should be more "clique-ish." But--his thoughts are interrupted by Cami and Collin, who found something HILARIOUS on Google Maps. It's a 13-year dream come true for John!
Later, what's the opposite of joining a "clique?" Wouldn't it be joining a group of people who don't like spending time together?
FINALLY: we share listener answers to the punchline challenge! Thanks for playing our game with us, Neighbor!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>We reminisced about trick-or-treating, back when we had functioning knees and strangers weren’t handing out toothpaste. We waxed poetic about decorations—because nothing says “festive spirit” like accidentally impaling yourself on a plastic tombstone in the yard.
Of course, we analyzed candy with the seriousness of food critics. We debated hard candy versus gummy like philosophers who’ve clearly lost control of their lives, and then somehow invented the idea of a “chocolate apocalypse,” where everyone’s just bartering for Snickers.
Naturally, we ended up bragging about our old Halloween costumes—because nothing says confidence like admitting we once wore a trash bag and called it a “grim reaper cloak.” We even wandered into haunted houses and Judgment Houses, which, honestly, felt a little too real. Turns out we like being terrified, as long as it’s in a controlled environment with snacks.
]]>We'll start off quizzing John for hipness, and he does not pass.
THEN, the story of the Cracked Toilet... and are angels clean-shaven, or do they have beards?
AND, help us come up with a good punchline for this prompt! What name would you give to an award show/ceremony for mediocre movies? (The computer's answer was "the Descents." But we can do better.)
LATER, why do we have so many friends being disfellowshipped from their churches after years of faithfulness? Maybe parents and church leaders are struggling to discipline their toddlers in order to RESPECT their teenagers.
(Also, should parents hide knives from a 14-year-old?)
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to share your comments and quotes.
]]>At one point, we took a scenic detour into turkey shoots (because nothing bonds friendship like firing at paper poultry), tried to fold our dignity into origami, and then pretended to be film critics who definitely stayed awake through The Godfather. Naturally, we overanalyzed Stephen King’s pen names like we were uncovering a government conspiracy, got sentimental about horror movies, and agreed that the 80s were peak cinema — mostly because that’s when our metabolism still worked.
Somewhere between discussing guilty pleasure films and planning a movie marathon we’ll never actually organize, we realized the common thread holding it all together: our inability to stay on topic. But hey, at least we laughed — mostly at ourselves.
]]>We're not as young as we used to be! We're even older than we were a few seconds ago, when we said that...
Then: The good citizens of Kokomo have been working on a tough question... which crimes should we care about? Recently a teenage father committed homicide, and everyone seems to agree that sort of thing should be stopped. But--what about a "teeth whitening business" full of prostitutes? (Note: be suspicious of any business that offers "massages" as an add-on!)
Later: Luke is kicking off his Courageous Era by upsetting his elderly Catholic relatives. His meme is a bit "niche." But you will probably understand it, Neighbor!
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We debate the etiquette of roundabouts (are they traffic circles or friendship tests?) and the subtle art of waving at other drivers in ways that say “sorry,” “thank you,” and “may your tires fall off” all at once.
From the chaos of comedic timing to the nerdy beauty of wordplay and Venn diagrams, we zigzag through nostalgia—game shows, puppets, and all the stuff that scarred us in delightful ways. Music gets dragged in as the culprit for cultural brainwashing, while we ponder why every generation thinks they invented sarcasm.
We even dissect the tragic fate of ice-breaking jokes (spoiler: they drown), the kamikaze nature of stand-up comedy, and the eternal truth that no punchline is safe once caffeine kicks in. All in all, it’s like a rollercoaster ride—except nobody’s tall enough for the “you must be this funny to ride” sign.
]]>John RSVPd for a class he's not going to actually be able to attend, and the Peaches remembers a slumber party prank that went wrong...
Later: John talks about the book that miraculously appeared on his floor this week and changed his life.
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
We also take a moment to laugh at ourselves while trying to master the art of accepting compliments—because who knew self-worth could be so complicated? Our conversation meanders through the hilarity of societal norms, like why certain drinks are "gendered," and we even touch on the evolution of Botox from beauty to medicine. And, of course, we can't forget the fall's impact on nature and the ridiculousness of cleaning products. It's a wild ride, but hey, that's just how we roll!
]]>
Contact The Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Picture this, Neighbor: a middle-aged man pretends to be a lizard eating an icecream cone. You may just have to trust us; it's hilarious.
Then: Farmer John tells you how to get a good harvest of raspberries. And Luke gives an update on his hunting muscles--which are not what they used to be. (It's hard to shoot that Bo-Narrow!)
AND: John is not Kokomo's Funniest Comedian YET...but he's still in the running! So stay tuned!
Later: the sermon we heard today was all about putting on the belt of TRUTH, as the first order of business in arming yourself against evil. What a refreshing message.
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We resigned from church leadership and left our church. (Or did it leave us???)
Special shout out to Cheri, who plays a vital role in making sure we publish our podcast every week!
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Our conversation is peppered with laughter as we reflect on the simple joys and creative chaos of childhood, which somehow shaped our understanding of business and community (or at least that's what we tell ourselves). We share hilarious tales of our childhood food escapades, including bizarre ice cream flavors and culinary misadventures at fairs and street vendors.
We also reminisce about cruise ship life, discussing the glamorous (or not-so-glamorous) life of performers on board, and wax nostalgic about our favorite video games, which we still play with the same enthusiasm as when we were kids. It's a conversation filled with laughter, insights, and a healthy dose of self-mockery about our personal tastes and experiences.
]]>Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
There has been some tension between Luke and "his rib" today... Instead of going to get the pizza to feed everybody, Luke shot a racoon.... and buried it. He's pretty sure it's the same raccoon he caught and released a few weeks ago... And we realize there are a lot of tail-less animals in our midst.
Then: Andrew comes back with his "new" shoes for the grass... and he tells us how to become a home-invader.
Later: There have always been ministers wanting to control the conversation... But, we have bad news for them. The McKinney's have a podcast. (Along with basically everyone else on the planet.) It's getting harder and harder to burn heretics at the stake!
To contact us, send an email to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>First of all, there are a lot of baby noises on this episode--so if you DON'T want to hear Bridger being delightful, turn back now. You have been warned!
Later: A young man dropped out of welding school in order to go to seminary and become a minister. What does the table think about that???
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to tell us if you ever wanted to become a welder.
Naturally, we drift into tales of botched craft projects involving super glue, confess our ignorance of proper restaurant etiquette, and take a nostalgic victory lap for outdated gadgets we barely knew how to use in the first place (Blackberry, anyone?). In a burst of misguided ambition, we even brainstorm fake ads that no sane sponsor would actually want.
Somewhere in the chaos, we convince ourselves we’re exploring profound topics like the quirks of technology, the weirdness of aging, and the absurdity of marketing. But let’s be honest—it’s just us swapping stories, roasting ourselves, and making our listeners wonder why they’re still tuning in.
]]>Later: When is it a good time to tell the truth?
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com We'd love to hear from you--unless it's 11:30 at night and you're sneezing LOUDLY.
]]>We also explore the mind-bending paradoxes of time travel, the quirks of Quantum Leap, and our love for older TV shows that remind us of simpler times. We discuss how comedy has evolved in today's political climate, the impact of documentaries on pop culture, and the wisdom from unconventional teachers who taught us that life is one big improv show. And, of course, we can't forget our take on therapy and self-improvement, because who doesn't love a good laugh while figuring out life's mysteries? Through our banter and commentary, we reflect on how these topics intertwine with our personal experiences and societal observations, all while keeping the laughs rolling.
]]>John is still unwelcome at his home church, so he gives an update on his church-hopping travels. WHAT DO YOU DO when you have nothing to do at church???
Next: Luke has a great idea for how to make an impression at the church pitch-in. But only you would get the joke, Neighbor! Everyone else would just be confused...
...and that reminds us of our late friend, Hank McGill!
Then: You have homework, Neighbor! You need to send us your best punchlines for Hank's infamous set-up... It goes: "A guy called and asked if I wanted a subscription to Prevention Magazine, and I said: ___________________________"
LATER: You know, lots of churches pay to bring in a comedian for a night of laughs, but having one as a member of your congregation isn't always delightful. When you order the caviar for a fancy restaurant, it feels high-value and cool. But if you just bring caviar to the average church pitch in, it's just going to land on the floor under the highchairs, with the green beans, while everyone eats the mac-and-cheese.
That analogy made sense while we were crafting it...
Send your comments (and your punchlines) to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com!
]]>If you don't have a friend like Jasmine, pray like crazy that God would send you one!
You can email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. G-day, mate!
]]>We start with a long excerpt from C.S. Lewis' Prince Caspian. That's called a "cold open," and it's very hip and interesting! (Eventually it will tie into the discussion about bad church leaders and what to do when they're going THE OPPOSITE WAY from Jesus.)
Next, John has been kindly asked not to come back to his home church of 35 years. This is necessary for unity! We must all get excited about the mission of bringing in lots of new baby Christians--who will presumably be asked to leave in 35 years...
Then: The Peaches reads quotes from "The Unstuck Church," which was written by a business consultant and is now being used as a play book for how to act less like a church and more like a Chik-Fil-A. This was the book that was used in the attempt to hijack Faith Baptist Church in North Carolina, and now it has landed in Kokomo.
Later: Now that everyone is nice and angry at how positively STUPID it is to throw Lucy out of the family because her crying is raining on your parade, we return to Narnia...Where Aslan tells Lucy what to do when the people with the power won't listen to you.
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . If you have some experience with The Unstuck Group or other "consultants" who are influencing church culture, reach out! You're not crazy.
]]>In a couple days, John will be rested and ready to record again. But--in the meantime--you should brush up on your knowledge of Hostile Church Takeovers and the Business of Doing Church.
That information will come in handy when we share the details of what has been happening in our local congregation... (It's pretty outrageous.) (But the Peaches is being the "opposite of candid" for now.)
How are the elders treated in your church? I don't mean the PR guys who act as middle-managers in a glorified Sunday Coffee Shop with Live Band. I mean, the people in your church who are ELDER--those who have raised faithful kids and who love God's Word and have been bearing good fruit for decades? Are they respected for their wisdom? Or are they chased out of the congregation because they are resistant to change and it puts a damper on the CEO's business strategy?
Check out the documentary on YouTube: "Hostile Takeover, How One Church in NC Almost Lost Everything." It's your homework before our next discussion! :)
Also, email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to share any encouraging stories of Faithful Christians you know. Five kids and 20 grandkids? Yes, please.
]]>While Bridger takes his nap, the rest of us (Cami, Collin, Emmi, and Silas) chat about what makes us laugh and which of our family members are "THAT" child.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Shout out to the China Compass podcast on the Fight Laugh Feast Network! Luke and Missionary Ben recorded their Final Game predictions and have plans to recap the whole series soon.
Next: Women in basketball. Is it a good thing to "have each other's back" by beating the crap out of your opponents? Nobody condones violence... but they totally do!
Finally: Are women actually more LOYAL to their tribe than men? Luke isn't convinced. But C.S. Lewis once wrote about the "intense family patriotism" of the wife/mother...
Contact The Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Next, congratulations to the protesters for braving the flood and keeping all the kings away from America.
Later, Michael Tate of the Newsboys issued a public apologiy for grievous sin. Why do we keep getting surprised by celebrity culture producing these sorts of scandals?
In a similar vein, what would cause a teenager to tag along with his irresponsible buddies on spring break to Panama City? Maybe it's the same lack-of-thought when a boy makes a pass at a girl who's engaged?
Make sure you stay at least long enough to hear John sing about Captain Crunch...
Contact the the Comedian John Branyan on the Fight Laugh Feast network by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
We also delve into the quirky and often bizarre world of regional dishes across the United States. We explore unique food names, the origins of strange culinary combinations, and engage in humorous debates about what qualifies as 'weird' food. From discussing the infamous cotton candy burrito to the peculiarities of southern cuisine, our dialogue is packed with laughter and insightful commentary on food culture.
Later, we explore various culinary delights and local eateries in Indiana, including the oddities of gravy bread, the infamous Cone Palace, and the upscale Italian spot Posterific. We share funny stories from our childhood, reflecting on nostalgic experiences and the quirks of growing up. The discussion is full of laughter, reflections on local culture and food, and the memories that continue to shape our perspectives.
]]>Then: Luke recaps the NBA finals game that made him leap out of his chair. And 9-year-old Emmi has been wondering whether marriage is really worth the steep cost...
Later: John shares the MAJOR mistake that all of his comedy-writing students always make. (Spoilers: they only brainstorm 2 or 3 associations intead of hundreds. You need HUNDREDS!) Let us share a couple more examples of hilarious associations made by beloved family members.
Do you have a question or comment for Comedian John Branyan or his (probably even more hilarious) family? Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Then, PDA--but not public displays of affection. This is a super mysterious neurological problem where people don't like being told what to do.
Later: Have you seen the movie "Rounders" with Matt Damon. It's either a brillian tragedy or the worst movie ever made. Write to tell us which you think it is. (Also--when was the last time you saw someone reading a physical newspaper?)
Contact John Branyan, the Comedian, at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Also, the PodNinja found a video that proves we were too hard on him last week. Listen as he brings more evidence to prove we ARE in the middle of a cultural shift, by golly!
Email the Comedian's family (and friends!) at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Plug in with your Real World community, Neighbor! If the YouTube commenters are telling you "get a new church" then keep the church and ditch the YouTube "community."
Contact The Comedian John Branyan by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com , especially to send us your special uses for ping pong balls!
]]>Then, John was SHOCKED to discover that his beloved daughter (The Peaches) took a turn toward Feminism this week. You'll never guess what she said to blow his mind.
Later, The Pod Ninja (Luke) literally falls asleep while his wife his talking... That's not an exaggeration or punchline. He literally nods off while recording.
Happy Mother's Day, Neighbor! To contact the Comedian, John Branyan, or the rest of this family, simply email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>How much "stuff" do you need to add to water before you can't call it "water" anymore? And exactly how much liquid is there in "a squeeze?" We tackle these important questions--and we share a couple great snack options if you like eating entire cloves of garlic...
Then: The Internet is all a-buzz because a lady used a racial slur on a kid. So how much attention should we pay to WHATEVER outrage is sweeping the internet. And when should we just turn off the phone?
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Hosts delve into various topics ranging from the unfulfilling nature of salads to the complexities of carbonated water preferences. They explore the nuances of iced tea, the fascination with different types of salt, and even the surprising origins of white sand beaches. The discussion takes a humorous turn as they ponder the ethics of archaeology and the concept of geocaching in the afterlife. Finally, they tackle the futility of lawn care and the lack of middle-ground options in pain management, all while maintaining a light-hearted and engaging tone. In this engaging conversation, the speakers delve into various topics ranging from the intense pain of kidney stones and the controversial use of pain relief drugs, to the unique experience of online education and the quirks of daily life. They humorously compare the challenges of high school to those of prison, and reflect on the impact of modern technology on personal relationships and navigation. The discussion is filled with witty banter and insightful observations, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking.
]]>First of all, welcome. But not VERY welcome.
Then: The concept of Artificial Intelligience has given us some Big Thoughts--linking back to controversial topics that have landed us in trouble before. Are there creatures walking around who LOOK like "humans," but are actually soul-less...and therefore NOT "people?"
This question understandably makes Luke very uncomfortable, and we spend most of the episode trying to make him feel better. But eventually, we get to the point: that AI isn't human, and we've found a new way to make it tell hilarious jokes...but only when it's not "trying."
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to weigh in!
]]>Then: what makes The Peaches laugh? Oh, kid quotes, for sure. And also forcing loved ones to try things that are unreasonable bad-tasting.
Later: social media skews our perception of reality. It shows us more of what we're already clicking. But what about the people who are fighting racism? Are they spending too much time sitting on busses with Crazy Guys?
Contact John Branyan and the rest of The Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com...
]]>Then: What in the WORLD is going on in Canada? They're "helping" their citizens kill themselves, and you will be surprised at the number of Canadians who took the offer in 2023 alone!
Finally: What's the exchange rate of Canadian, Australian, and US dollars? We still don't know because math is hard.
]]>Sound Bites
This is one of your regular reminders that being a traveling comedian has its pros AND its cons.
Later: Garage fires and homemade bombs. Sometimes unsupervised kids will do the darndest things! (And unsupervised uncles, too.) Chalk it up to life lessons and hands-on learning!
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Luke gets us started with some hot tips from his $8 golf brochure. (Very, very life-altering stuff!)
Eventually, John explains how being able to make associations is the root of ALL comedy-writing, and that's when things get really interesting!
How many sticks have you seen in your life or what you think of when you hear the word "bird."
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to tell us your associations.
]]>Next: What's wrong with vouchers? And what happens to first-year teachers--fresh out of college--that imemediately turns them into crazy, union-loving, copying-and-pasting activists?
Finally: If you try to change the church by-laws, you may have to step over the bodies you leave behind you. And also--you can't make kids eat good food. That's bad.
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>]]>
...PLUS Kokomo has several dozen churches that have been listening to crappy Hillsong music, so all of them are drifting toward Charmismatic progressivism.
Why do you need scissors to open a package of scissors? And why do "guests" in church think they have the right to tell those churches how to operate?
It's a lively discussion! And there's even some peek-a-boo.
Make sure to email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to tell us if getting a Chik fil-a is worth the traffic hassles.
]]>
There's no more hot chocolate, so pour yourself a mug of Poverty and tuck in for some good stories. We've got TWO examples of shocking/embarassing things that we managed to survive. And then we chat about how to eat an elephant...
Contact the comedian's family at Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>]]>
Later: John got a list of "Conservative Causes" from the Heritage Foundation, but he noticed a couple important things missing. What is the point of sending these lists to Washington anyway?
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>In this lively conversation, the hosts delve into their personal experiences with cereal, particularly focusing on the nighttime ritual of eating cereal, the unique characteristics of Grape Nuts, and the various techniques for enjoying cereal. They also discuss the controversial topic of cereal milk and explore healthier alternatives like protein pancakes, all while maintaining a humorous and engaging tone. In this lively conversation, the hosts delve into various food topics, from the peculiarities of protein-packed pancakes to the nostalgic cereal choices of their childhood. They explore the science behind sugar and milk, share humorous anecdotes about cotton candy mishaps, and discuss the complexities of artificial flavoring in food. The discussion is filled with laughter and insights, making it a delightful exploration of food and memories. In this lively conversation, the hosts explore nostalgic memories of childhood medicines and their surprising flavors, the influence of parents on food preferences, the evolution of candy and medicine, humorous caffeine-fueled college stories, and amusing tales of pranks involving mooning. Each topic is infused with humor and personal anecdotes, creating a relatable and entertaining dialogue.
]]>We always ask the important questions around here...
Then: Enjoy some sage marriage advice from a woman with almost 1 Million followers on Facebook... The worst part about marriage is the fact that people think it needs to be permanent!
Later: The dude who tried to juggle FOUR wives is now down to only ONE. What went wrong??? He always told them they were free to walk away if they wanted...and then they did! How could they all divorce a man who was practicing that sage marriage advice years ago???
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>]]>
John has been driving a lot, and the baby has been sick a lot. And if you want Andrew to do something DON'T TELL HIM YOU WANT HIM TO DO IT. But enough about us...
Next: Did you know PhD's are just pieces of paper?
And later: What's the deal with people selecting "work wives" and "work husbands?"
Contact the comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>"What did you... you hydroplane?"
"There will be blood."
"It's like stepping on a mine."
"You better be playing HORSE!"
"We would do BB gun fights."
"We thought that we could make a boat."
"It held for a little bit."
"What if there's like foil Pokemon cards?"
"I still want to do stuff like that."
"It's like geocaching."
"The geocaching movie script is wide open."
Summary
In this engaging conversation, the hosts explore various themes ranging from driving in adverse weather conditions to reflections on classic films and childhood games. They discuss the misconceptions surrounding four-wheel drive vehicles in icy conditions, share their thoughts on iconic movies like Citizen Kane and Once Upon a Time in the West, and reminisce about the games they played as children. The dialogue is filled with humor and insights, making it a delightful listen for anyone interested in these topics. In this conversation, the speakers reminisce about their childhood experiences, focusing on the games they played, the injuries they sustained, and the evolution of playground safety. They share humorous anecdotes about dangerous games, the impact of playground materials, and the thrill of competitive play. The discussion also touches on fireworks, biking adventures, and the unique memories formed in their youth, highlighting the carefree yet risky nature of childhood. In this lively conversation, the hosts share humorous anecdotes about their childhood adventures, including attempts to build boats from children's pools and the concept of time capsules. They explore the nostalgia of childhood creativity and the fun of geocaching, discussing the etiquette and excitement of finding hidden treasures. The conversation takes a humorous turn as they delve into the behavior of dogs and their understanding of human affection, culminating in a light-hearted reflection on the quirks of life and friendship.
]]>
It's a busy day today because we're having TWO parties in ONE! The annual Soup-er Bowl Party, in which we pretend to care about football but we are most interested in the food...
Luke (The Pod Ninja) is a Fair Weather Football Fan. But he thinks there's something wrong with the men who care too much about sports...
Next: The Peaches asked The Pod Ninja to make some boxes, and he nearly killed himself. But, speaking of boxes, there's a story in there about how to make your wife (and daughter) sing and dance in the kitchen...
Later: Silas turned seven, and his intricate birthday decorations have reminded us of the benefits of PLODDING.
Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>"Crowd work is all pretty much the same."
"Grammy award winning artists on the riff session."
"We are in absolutely every part of your life."
"I don't remember caring who was president."
"I just don't respond."
"It should be its own merit."
"If it was free."
"I swear, I won't pop a video out every day."
"You'll never hear from me!"
"I was going to do a whole YouTube channel of drum covers."
"I made sure he was okay. Because he biffed pretty good."
]]>
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>"That's our theme song."
"Is that a... Is that a recorder?"
"Nobody cares."
"It's a dilemma for me."
"What about swim socks?"
"I think I've heard them."
"Nobody calls them swim socks."
"You can merge with confidence."
"There could be a mouse in there!"
"This is a very simple fix."
"Did you try wiggling stuff?"
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Theme Song Discussion
03:00 Mail Reliability and Delivery Changes
06:01 The Evolution of Mail and Its Importance
08:58 The Role of Mail Carriers in Society
12:00 Humor in Mail Delivery and Personal Experiences
14:50 The Future of Mail and Delivery Services
18:34 The Mystery of Swim Socks
20:40 Crocs: The Slippery Truth
24:41 The Life of an Old Car
30:44 Mileage vs. Age: The Human Condition
34:01 The Science of Maintenance
36:58 The Challenge of Car Maintenance
42:22 The Art of Reassembly
44:15 Sparks and Safety in Car Repairs
46:37 Engaging with the Audience: The Power of Negativity
50:04 Insect Encounters: A Humorous Perspective
Should non-profits take government money and then freak out when the government stops sending them money?
Later: Poltics are terrible and they're just a huge distraction--and also trans people are being victimized you cry-baby witch.
Thanks for listening to The Comedian Next Door on the Fight Laugh Feast Network! Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>In this engaging conversation, the hosts delve into various topics ranging from the challenges and experiences of virtual comedy performances to the dynamics of gender in nursing. They share humorous anecdotes about their personal lives, discuss the importance of audience engagement in comedy, and explore the nuances of branding and sponsorship. The conversation also touches on the peculiarities of food smells and personal preferences, creating a light-hearted yet insightful dialogue. In this engaging conversation, the hosts explore various humorous aspects of healthcare, relationships, and the art of comedy. They discuss the nuances of tipping in the healthcare industry, the evolution of medical practices, and the everyday challenges faced by healthcare professionals. The conversation shifts to the comedic exploration of snoring and its impact on relationships, highlighting the humorous dynamics between partners. The hosts also share insights into the process of crafting comedy, testing new material, and the realities of life, including the fleeting existence of a snowman in Texas. Overall, the discussion is a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and reflections on the absurdities of life.
]]>Then: Do we need a "Christian Andrew Tate"? What would that even look like? Christians love the idea of being able to win people to Christ by being cool and popular. But that's not the method of spreading the Gospel that seems to be described in Scripture.
Later: What's the difference between a "role model" and an "authority figure?"
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>What's the protocol for giving someone a pet as a gift? (Luke and his sister receieved rabbits one year. It was traumatic.)
Later: Is there any podcast doing more work for the Kingdom of God than Joe Rogan? He hosted an Old Testament scholar recently...and probably millions of people are going to be saved as a result.
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com/
]]>At some point, we touch on how to get Artificial Intelligence to write our books for us.
Later: There's a place called "Vender City" in Kokomo. Have you ever heard of that? Is it a chain? Probably not.
If any of our rambling thoughts triggered some of YOUR rambling thoughts, send them to us here: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
Next: Grandpa John and Grandma Lori bought the annoying gifts this year. But there was PLENTY of music at Christmas! We love singing, and most of us can hear when we're doing it badly. So that's something!
Then: What is it about musical theater that is so captivating! (Spoilers, it's EVERYTHING.) With LIVE theater, you never see the same show twice! It's sooooo cool! Don't forget the subtitles...and sing like you don't realize someone is listening.
Later: It's annoying when people with "ADHD" describe what goes on in their heads, as if it's not totally normal. The difference between someone with ADHD and someone who gets to church on time is discipline. That's it! Be on the lookout for John's new children's book. He was able to write it because he has learned to override his ADHD.
Thanks for supporting The Comedian Next Door on the Fight Laugh Feast network!
]]>Later: Andrew is not going to miss 2024 very much, because it has been treating him roughly. Here are several out-of-context bullet points to tell you how bad Andrew's move to Missouri has gone:
--Godfather Landlord
--Stump vs. car
--Cat cheese
If you're still confused, you can try listening to the whole episode. But it may not clear things up very much. Merry Christmas from our family to yours, Neighbor! Contact us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Chapters
00:00 The Christmas Episode and Promises Made
05:58 Audience Dynamics and Energy Levels
12:04 The Importance of Good Introductions
18:01 Reflections on Comedy and Audience Engagement
24:54 The Art of Crowd Work
35:54 Overcoming Difficult Audiences
41:37 The Reality of Comedy Shows
46:45 The Importance of Audience Awareness
56:40 Looking Ahead: Future Topics
Tis the season to LIE TO YOUR KIDS! There won't be a problem, provided everyone gets together and agrees to tell the SAME lie! (The social worker said so.)
Then: Luke and John endured a fairly brutal show this week. It wasn't the audience's fault! But they just didn't feel like laughing.
Later: Why was there so much horsemeat in Victorian England? We still don't know. But the cats were happy about it.
Contact the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Later: Sheila Gregoire is man-hating again. Why does it bother some women to hear ANYTHING positive about men/dads/husbands?
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Sound Bites
"Can you imagine?"
"It was a former cat."
"Every goal requires God."
In this conversation, we explore a variety of themes ranging from the challenges of pet loss and burial, cultural dilemmas in ordering food, the implications of AI in customer service, to the complexities of setting personal goals. We also delve into humorous discussions about unrated movies, the concept of emotional support animals, and the antics of foul-mouthed parrots in a zoo. Each topic is approached with a blend of humor and insight, making for an engaging dialogue.
]]>This begins the busy season... We had two thanksgivings, Christmas Decorating, and a baby shower packed into the same weekend.
Then, John got the best Christmas newsletter ever. (Yes, really!) If you must send Christmas newsletters to everybody you know, make sure they contain HILARIOUS KID QUOTES.
Later: One of John's friends just became a grandparent for the first time, and....well.... (shrug)
Will it be the best day of your life, when you grandkids are born??? We discuss why the most well-adjusted people seem to be unimpressed with newborns...
Contact the Comedian's family: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>00:00 Introduction to Nuts and Bolts
03:01 The Art of Comedy and Writing Techniques
06:02 Teeth Grinding and Dental Humor
09:03 Exploring Music and Generational Changes
12:01 Christian Music in Public Spaces
16:12 Exploring Rural King: A Unique Shopping Experience
18:22 The Incongruity of Muzak in Stores
20:41 Bringing Pets to Unconventional Places
22:25 AI-Generated News Stories: A Fun Game
28:41 The Bear Suit Insurance Fraud Incident
31:46 Unexpected Encounters: Fishing for Submarines
32:21 Submarine Adventures and Fishing Tales
34:08 Cheese Heists: The Great Cheese Heist of 2024
41:49 Potato Negotiations: A Silly Exploration of AI Art
Also, should we just ask for "God's Will" to be done every time, or is that kind of a cop-out?
Later: A woman's 10-year-old daughter suddenly stopped walking, and she wants to help you learn how to buy crutches for your child as well. (That sounds sensational, but she DOES have a Parenting Course.) Let us explain why social media is full of this nonsense...
Contact the Comedian at Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>"I hate rye chips, yeah."
"I hate joy."
"Must be nice to afford hamburger."
"Boy, it's great to have cutlery."
"I'm trying to express my joy."
"Freedom doesn't wait."
"I've never had to say a fun fact."
"I just don't want to get scammed."
"I have a limited experience."
"The internet is forever."
Themes
Wintery Mix and Snack Preferences
The Great Pretzel Debate
Election Results and Public Perception
Navigating Political Conversations
Subtle Expressions of Joy
]]>
Emmi Jane successfully turned nine years old, with only a small "Freak Out" involving tiny food and glue... This wasn't the first time Emmi lost her mind a little bit!
Later: Is every 11-year-old boy exactly the same??? Pretty much.
And finally: John told the Internet that boys play with Lego differently from girls, and he's still enduring the backlash. (You CAN'T make weapons out of Lego! Duh!)
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties
05:51 The Dominance of Christmas Music
11:04 Commercializing Thanksgiving Music
18:13 The Culinary Adventures of Warthogs and Iguanas
25:53 Thanksgiving Foods: The Unwanted and Unusual
32:21 The Weight of IQ: Family Dynamics and Social Awareness
40:50 The Lunchroom Legend
51:04 The Hot Pocket Hazard
58:10 IQ and Ignorance
You can book John at: www.johnbranyan.com
]]>But that's nothing compared with the text message that is causing grown women to FEAR FOR THEIR BABIES.
Tune in to laugh with us about the state of the country post-election--and to rejoice that the old Leftist tactics of calling everything "racist" don't seem to be working any longer!
(Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com)
]]>Next: The Peaches shares her theory that "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is a Gospel story.)
Later: When it comes to the election, DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS AT CHURCH! Make sure you stay neutral, like that person who constantly talks about how Jesus wasn't a Democrat or a Republican.
Contact us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>"Sometimes people die and they don't tell you."
"I think the best way to go would be on top of an asteroid detonating a nuclear device."
"Do you gather everybody together under the pretenses of something else?"
"Let's get the parasites."
"Are you gonna stop eating red dyed food now because you know that it's coming from a bug?"
"Cereal, the reason that they color food is because the natural color of things after it's been processed is usually like gray or brown."
"I don't think I'm chewing on enough copper"
"Hehehehehe"
"I eat a slice of Wonder Bread and I'm good to go"
]]>
Then, help us determine the difference between a Friend and a Fan!
]]>"I'm actually... You can't see the sweat, but I've got two little sweat marks on my shirt."
"I brought the incredibly funny Lisa Gilbert who has a Dry Bar special out and what's it called? All the Time Tired."
"No outside carry-in food, drink or ice cream products. That's literally what it said."
"That sounds like barbaric to me. That sounds like something that you wouldn't need to do in modern times, Brian."
"Yeah, I like it. I'm a fan. I get that in the sushi, so."
"He misses a lot of spots, so I still have a lot of work to do, but it's still helpful."
"Santa's dead."
"The responsibility of my kids still believing in Santa or not is not mine as a parent. It's not for me to tell them. I'm not going to have blood on my hands. It is all the kids on the playground."
"I'm not signing for a fake guy anymore."
]]>
And speaking of traveling, the Peaches has a HOT TIP for packing clothes for lots of kids!
Then: here's a sermon illustration you probably should NOT use... and an example of the world's worst Humor Sermon.
Later: Put on your serious pants, because we have another important question. Can you be a homeschool parent if you think Elon Musk is smart? The internet sounds off.
Finally, contact the Comedian's family to tell us how many days a retreat or conference needs to last... nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Is there anything more manly than mowing your lawn?
Modern gas cans suuuuuuuck.
And also--if you have a bald baby girl, just put a bow on her head when you're going out! It will be a courtesy to strangers in public...
To contact The Comedian's Family, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>"I made a sound, a pretty girly, feminine sound."
"He was clinging to my arm as I tried to get him off."
"Hornets are the jerks of the animal world."
"There aren't very many cool injuries though, really."
"Yeah, or you were trying to like rescue somebody from like, you know, push a car out of the street or something."
"I don't ever want to be stung by anything that isn't a murder hornet."
"Leaving early at a thing that you enjoy. That's funny."
"It's like, spoiler, Dorothy makes it home in The Wizard of Oz."
"It's like you're not getting out of the parking lot before me, pal."
"War of the Worlds, the movie by Orson Welles, before inspired by the radio play by Orson Welles, inspired by the short story by Jules Verne written in 1890? That ending?"
"My dad likes to arrive everywhere early. He also likes to leave everywhere early"
"It's not even watered down mango juice. I know you don't like the taste of mango."
]]>
We chat about all the horn-tooting compliments we've received this week.
Then: John shares another example of "men can't win" with the Feminists, no matter what they do.
Later: You get to hear the advice that John shared with a Highschool-age Peaches YEARS AGO and has been repeated countless times since...
Finally: What would you do in a crisis situation? Would you steal? Murder? Eat your loved ones? Who really knows for sure????? Christians really need to stop saying they may or may not act like Pagans when they're caught in a hurricane and forced to sin...
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Natural conversation is key in stand-up comedy, and segues are not always necessary.
Internet connectivity can be unpredictable, causing interruptions in online conversations.
The ironclad beetle is a fascinating creature that can withstand immense pressure.
Being in the same room during a podcast recording can eliminate technical issues and improve the overall experience. Incorporating elements of a rock concert into a comedy show can add excitement and enhance the comedic experience.
Audience participation can be a fun and engaging way to involve the crowd in the comedy show.
Breaking up with a realtor can be awkward, but it's important to be upfront and honest about your decision.
The real estate industry can be confusing, with different types of agents and agreements, but it's important to understand the process when buying or selling a house.
Sound Bites
"You don't need segues, just transition to whatever it is and who cares."
"There's a beetle that you can drive a car over and not crush it."
"They're testing sharks for cocaine."
"There's no bad time to worship John."
"I could do a comedy rock and roll show or a rock comedy show."
"The more low budget, the better with all of this stuff, the more garage made."
]]>
Then: God is very mad at librarians... But let John tell you about his conversation with Sheila Gregoire first.
Later: If you want the PERFECT GAME for bossy women--may we suggest The Sims? Or Roller Coaster Tycoon?
Contact the comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Takeaways
Honesty in social interactions can lead to better understanding and communication.
Sometimes we do things we don't want to do to accommodate our spouses or loved ones.
Different people have different approaches to activities and hobbies.
The discovery of sharks with cocaine in their system raises questions about drug use in aquatic animals.
Sound Bites
"So you'd rather the honesty of knowing that you were not as good as something else?"
"I don't think that you necessarily have to want to go to a place in order to go to a place if your wife wants you to go there."
"There's so many things that I want to know about. Specifically, I want to know how long the guy who tests drugs, who tests sharks for drugs, I want to know how long he's been doing that job."
]]>
From there, the conversation about ways to heal your gut biome just gets weirder and weirder...
Joe stops in temporarily, to offer his expert opinion about fecal transplants.
Later: John wants to talk about the Steve Lawson Scandal, even though nobody at his church knows who Steve Lawson is...
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>How do you know you've had a great birthday party?
What's the best way to get rid of hornets?
How do you make a birdhouse?
Find out on today's episode.
Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
The gang gets nostalgic about cars, laughing over how we remember them more than people’s names. We joke about using cars as nicknames—hilarious or creepy? You decide. We also dive into the quirks of self-checkout machines and their fake gratitude, wishing they’d just give us a sarcastic “thanks.” Then, it’s all about weird food combos, like ice cream on hot stuff (why?), fried ice cream, and the genius idea of a cookie dough caulking gun. We wrap things up with a silly take on the phonetic alphabet and Morse code.
Then: Joe and Luke both have the sort of study habits that make their wives craaaaaazy.
Later: Play "guess that word" with Emmi's spelling test.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Then, Cami and Collin help us demonstrate how easy it is to create comedy without ANY advanced planning or set-up!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. And don't forget to pray for The Peaches' thighs!
]]>Drink more water, find the nearest theme park, and try to get some "bang" for your buck.
Next: John and his wife are landlords who have been fighting a legal battle with a group of squatters for over a year... The whole Branyan family pitched in this weekend, to help clean up the mess left behind by these people. Why would someone hang a boat motor from a tree? Maybe for the same reason they would keep a rotting deer head in their kitchen? Or a hollowed out tree stump full of scrap metal?
Later: Let's try to make sense of the fact that some human beings actually live in that sort of squalor (and refuse to pay any bills). What causes someone to make those sorts of decisions?
And if you've never read the Lord of the Flies, tune in for a quick summary of what you're missing.
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Next, Luke did a show with Chris Farley's brother, and he unintentionally gave us a GREAT new marketing idea! (How much would YOU pay for a lousy T-shirt???)
Later: John reads a piece of sage wisdom... Who cares what your parents think? Defer to your children instead!
Join the conversation, Neighbor!
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Then: John's yardwork adventures aren't getting any less painful. Hear the latest injury story, especially if it has been awhile since you considered the danger of using a chainsaw near stinging insects.
Later: Some Christians really are shocked--SHOCKED--about how "quickly" the culture is declining. To them it seems it happened over night. But at least they're shockable, right? Their eyes are apparently working, even though they're a little slow on the uptake.
The big kids are making a happy ruckus in the background, and the newborn fusses (just a little) in his daddy's arms. If you want to be part of it all, tune in!
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Did you hear about the man (or is it a woman?) who failed the gender test in women's boxing? Did you know even CONSERVATIVES are struggling to understand what makes someone a woman?
Tune in for this biology-heavy lecture on female hormones, fertility cycles, and--oh yeah--all of our headphones are broken, so listen while we complain about that.
Baby Bridger makes himself known a time or two as well. It's a pretty typical Sunday at the Comedian's house!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Luke hurt his tongue...twice. And, eventually we get around to talking about being "counter-cultural."
Viva la Revolucion!
You can email the Comedian's family at Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>The baby is hearing and smelling new things, while old men are LOSING those senses.
John remembers the old man neighbor who used to "putter" around and do Old Man things when John was a kid.
That's the neighbor whose bushes were set on fire by Bob Branyan... Let us tell you the story!
Later: John had a brief conversation with a Christian lady about "unity." But did she really mean "just agree with me"?
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>
My kids have been griping about our intro music, calling it not just mediocre, but downright bad. So, I decided to skip it this week. Maybe it’s time for a new format: no music, just straight into the chatter. Let me know what you think.
Now, about the baby. His name is Bridger Luke Michael McKinney. That’s right, Bridger. Not Alexander, which I was half-expecting because Amanda was adamantly saying it wouldn’t be Alexander. But no, it's Bridger. And like all new names, it feels a bit odd. Babies are weird little strangers when they first arrive, but eventually, they grow into their names. Soon enough, Bridger will be running around, and it’ll be the perfect fit.
On a personal note, I got new hearing aids. The old ones conked out, so now I'm trying to get used to the new ones. It's like discovering sound all over again. I can hear leaves rustling and kids playing from a distance. It’s a game-changer, though my comedy shows have taken a hit since I struggle to hear the audience.
Speaking of senses, my taste and smell aren't what they used to be. I can barely smell coffee brewing unless I stick my nose right over the pot. Same goes for food. Everything tastes kind of the same unless it’s something drastic like a pepper versus a banana. So, if I ever compliment your cooking, take it with a grain of salt because I probably can’t taste how terrible it might be.
]]>Hear us talk about:
-Squeaky birthing balls and Lactation Chairs
-Why milk is bad in New Mexico
-What squirrels have in common with Jared Leto (spoilers: it's the way they talk)
-Tech issues and new equipment
-Fortunately/Unfortunately
-And finally: Our new family project idea!
Plus... There's a succulent in the middle of the table. We probably better stop to talk about it.
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Next: did you know the very first automobile was tested in our town of Kokomo, Indiana? Well... that's because it's not actually true. But Kokomo still loves to call itself the City of Firsts. (And we really are responsible for that loveable Big, Red Dog!)
Still no McBaby... The Big Kids are drinking "coffee." And John wants to talk about the Presidential Debate that he didn't watch.
Later: a shocking number of people can't figure out when they're talking to a robot...or when they're sharing photos of a "missing person" who is actually a plastic doll. How does THAT affect the voting situation?
Join us at the table, Neighbor!
]]>It's HOT and some of us are very puffy while others are very burnt.
John is worried that the Peaches can't record a podcast after the baby is born. But there are ways to make it happen! It's all about priorities!
Then: The whole extended family was out in the woods this week... Apparently, the First Graders have been internalizing that Post-Mil Theology! (Kids who are surrounded by aunts and uncles and babies look forward to building their own families someday.)
Later: Why are we so excited about posting the Ten Commandments in school? Is this a small baby-step toward cultural victory? Or are the majority of Christians completely confused about how the Word of God actually works itself into the human mind and heart? We're out here trying to build shrines and cast Bible Spells! Jesus-cadabra!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>What does an unmarried 25-year-old male think is an average size for a newborn?
And whose fault is it, really, that Andrew is always the last to hear family news? You be the judge, Neighbor.
And, Later: Does God care about tattoos and cigarettes? (Just ask your favorite 90's pop star!)
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Luke's microphone isn't switched on, and it distracts us from sharing all the intricate Baby Details. But--rest assured--Tabby had her baby.
While the Peaches was supporting the birthing mother, Juan and John and Luke were attending the Christian Comedy Association Conference. There were some very encouraging testimonies shared during that time. Luke wonders if churches should make space for MORE testimonies to be shared on Sunday mornings...
Later: Why does the word "psychology" keep getting used as a synonym for "spirituality?" Are they one in the same concept?
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Next: Tabby is in labor! Thus sayeth The Doula (though she really isn't qualified to say much else)...
Then: What happens when an Atheist rejects religion and insists there's no such thing as evil, but then she experiences tremendous evil perpetuated against HERSELF? (Spoiler: they do NOT suffer well.)
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Then: Just a little more Labor/Birth talk... (Spoilers: Tabby is still pregnant!) (Also, apparently nobody knew what the date was when we recorded.)
Later: A former contestant on the Bachelor is struggling with "fertility issues." Just wait until you hear what kind!
And: have you heard what's happening in El Salvador?
Finally: John ignores a call from his wife. And The McKinneys conducted their annual Book Burning. Here are the details.
You can contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>The Peaches' water bottle went missing at the soccer game. And, what's with the lack of "booing" from the Branyan, McKinney, and Farkas section?!?! Where's the loyalty?!
Not to mention: John's 4-year-old grandson was being veeeeeery virtuous today. He couldn't help noticing himself.
Playing organized sports can help develop a person's character!... but it's not automatic.
Then: Luke was surprised to hear there's (yet another) couple divorcing in our local church body. It's hard coming to terms with the fact that many families (even professing Christians) don't hold each other accountable.
How should we counsel those who are persuing a divorce? What sort of "baggage" should a married couple expect, and how can they manage it?
Later: Why don't people like to communicate? Well, the Ninja and the Peaches had a small falling out this week, and they share a few details. It ended up being a fairly short (and relatively painless) process back to fellowship--thanks to practice. But a few years ago, it would not have gone so smoothly...
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Why does Luke like spaghetti--but not lasagna? How many clothes can be squeezed into a standard washing machine? John gives an update on his landscaping projects. (Spoiler: John is turning into an old man before our very eyes.)
And--hey look--a rabbit in the yard!
Should we talk about Richard Dawkins being a "cultural Christian?" Meh. Too serious. Let's not.
See, Neighbor, not EVERY conversation deep and convicting. (Oh, now Luke's parents are dropping off some patio furniture!)
There's some real life happening over at the Comedian's House, and you're invited to take a listen.
Email the comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Maybe you weren't expecting this conversation, Neighbor, but it sure beats talking about disc golf! Riiiiiiiight?
Next: Communication with medical professionals can be challenging... (Here's an example.)
Then: Communication as a pastor/speaker can ALSO be callenging--especially if you're trying too hard to be profound or memorable. (Here's an example.) (Also, here's our favorite riddle ever invented by a 3-year-old.)
Somewhere in the midst of all these topics, we have an excellent book idea for the Podcast Ninja!
Don't forget to laugh, Carl.
Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. If nobody is in labor, we'll do our best to respond!
]]>Next, John talks about his big plans to avoid yard work... (Psssst, he's going to be sorely disappointed, Neighbor!)
Then, Luke tells us the thing that John shared at Church today that felt noteworthy and then he forgot and then remembered again. People's actions will tell you what they really think. It's easy to say, "I am a Christian who believes the Gospel." But, the choices made in daily life will reveal much!
Finally, both "Christians" and "Atheists" in America are struggling with an Authority Problem. We'll unpack that the best we can--but if you know, you know!
Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Next: John has been watching lots of videos of sermons from Charismatic preachers. This false doctrine happens to be the very first theological question that Luke and the Peaches tackled before they got married!
Later: A friend of John's almost made him choke on his chicken caesar salad. What sort of "authority" are Christians "supposed" to have when it comes to raising the dead?
Finally: Luke wants to know, "Is believing a false Gospel the same as not being a Christian at all?" How much truth about Jesus do you need in order to be saved?
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Next: We're going to answer all your questions about how to schedule your time... No, wait, we're going to tell you whether or not to quit your job. No, actually we're going to talk about productivity.
Luke feels guilty because he doesn't think he's bringing enough focus to his day job. How should bosses and employees measure "productivity?" (And what kind of "productivity" really brings the most value to the people you love?)
There are so many different directions we could take this conversation! But, of course, it always comes back to home-education and family life.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Papa John's is selling a pizza featuring crispy "cuppy-roni." This is worth mentioning at LEAST a few times this episode...
Next: there has been a little bit on controversy in the Fight Laugh Feast network. (But, really, what else is new?) Sometimes listeners feel like their favorite hosts aren't practicing what they preach...
The Peaches thinks this speaks to the natural limitations of the podcast platform. It's impossible to get a complete picture of a person's beliefs, even if you consume several hours worth of their content every week! (There's sooooooo much that is still happening behind the scenes.) It's possible to hear a message about "Rowdy Christians" multiple times and STILL not understand how to apply it, until you've spent more in-person time with the messenger.
Later: Some concepts and analogies we share on the podcast are not going to translate if listeners are not part of a real-life community. Podcasts have their place! Sermons are valuable! But there is no substitute for committed, imtimate relationships, where true disciples are made.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>The Peaches and The Ninja have been together longer than they were "single." They've gone by many names over the years... But why does Uncle David call John "Scooter?" (Settle in, while Scooter unloads his coffee-related trauma.)
Then: HAPPY TRANS VISIBILITY DAY! We actually know people--in real life--who have swallowed that Kool-Aid.
AND: Our Comedy Clique has been talking about Foot-Washing Ceremonies. Some good questions have been raised in the last few days! What message is the Pope sending when he washes the feet of 12 female prisoners? Is there a better way to demonstrate "servanthood' to a modern culture?
Finally: Jesus taught that being a servant makes you the GREATER in the Kingdom of Heaven. Many Christians are uncomfortable with the way they are elevated to places of Authority, while they keep trying to be perpetual doormats. How do we deal with the reality that our acts of service give us more responsibility and "power?"
Contact the Comedian's family, nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Also, there is DRAMA among the McKinney/West/Farkas cousins. (No, nothing scandalous.) A group of actors, aged 13 and under, are producing their own musical theater show. It's the most adorable thing we've seen in a while.
Next: If a person can't explain WHY the believe something, do they really even believe it?
Use your words, Pkarlgh! Pictures aren't really worth 1000 words, and you CAN'T preach the Gospel silently...
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We tackle other questions like: should men wear a suit and tie to church? And should adults watch cartoons?...
Later: If you want to add rocks to your health and wellness journey, we have a great opportunity for you! (It's basically witchcraft--but it's all the rage.)
Email the Comedian's family: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com Tell us what kind of "crystal" John should take to the Quack Doctor's virtual event.
]]>
Then: If you're hearing us talk about this well-oiled machine and wishing your community was as Perfect as ours, let us remind you that we are very critical of parachurch organizations! We really need to make some clarifications about WHY we focus on the Bad Stuff in the culture... (Someone wrote to us and said, "I'm struggling to find a church that I can trust. I don't understand the different denominations, but I know you guys disagree with most of them...")
Keep this in mind at all times: God will not hold you accountable for things you DON'T understand; he holds you accountable for obeying what you DO understand.
Later: Let's talk about the problem with popular Christian worship leaders. (But don't let fear of heretical music keep you from going to church!)
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. (But don't ask us questions that should be directed at your elders. :) )
]]>If you start taking responsibility and making decisions then you will deal with some pushback. But, overall, you will be a HUGE ASSET to a healthy church (or soccer program). Leaders take initiative!
Later: Luke shares his fail-proof system for aspiring conversationalists. If you're wondering, "How does Luke always have something interesting to say???" be prepared to take notes!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We thought we uploaded this episode ON TIME, but technical difficulties occurred...
Better late than never!
]]>
Luke did a show with Dave Dugan, and John did a show in Wisconsin (Wa-Keh-Shaw). Were these "good" events or "bad" ones? It totally depends on your perspective! Any single event could be both good and bad, or both challenging and successful at the same time.
John still gets rushes of adrenaline when he's going on stage. Luke and his brother-in-law struggle to sleep immediately after a performance. But is that the same thing as stage fright or "nervousness?"
The difference between "Excitement" and "anxiety" is simply whether you're looking forward to it or not.
Later: Most people in the audience do not want the speaker to fail. They're on your side! But even the pros get sweaty while managing their adrenaline. It's normal! Can we learn to thank God regardless of whether we are feeling wide awake or ready to curl up and rest?
Finally: Let's beat a dead horse...that is still trotting around... We know a pastor whose daughter found a questionable book in her school library. What should he do now?
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
(By the way, are you the Master of your own Sea?)
Then: Not only do Christians like to identify as "Sinners," but we like to sanitize the behavior of the Unbelievers. We want to give them the benefit of the doubt--even though they are Lost.
Later: We tried to raise Luke's bloodpressure with the story of a grumpy patient complaining about her stay at the hospital. But he is pretty unflappable.
Do you know what the medical community does with particularly uncooperative patients?
Finally: Let's talk about the idol of People Pleasing. What IS the difference between having a "servant's heart" and being a people-pleaser?
Contact the comedian's family: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Also, John's sons-in-law created a video game character who is almost indescribably ugly. But we try anyway.
Either way--let's get down to business... Transformers and electronic tablets are for Christians/Saints--not for Sinners.
Boy, this is a controversial topic in our community right now. Is it wise to refer to Christians as "Sinners saved by grace?"
The Peaches really feels encouraged, because she was called a "she-devil" several times. What inspired that kind of vitriol? It was the suggestion (no--insistence) that being a Saint who struggles with sin is very different from continuing to identify with your sin by calling yourself a "sinner."
Saying "I am a sinner" is an identity statement. One person told us, "I was a sinner, I am a sinner, and it's what I ALWAYS WILL BE." Yuck. That comes from unthoughtful church culture--not from God's Word. The power of the Gospel is completely removed when Christians still cling to their sinful identity. God calls us Children (He calls us Saints). But Americans still call themselves "Sinners."
Later: Listen to some truly unhinged accusations from really, really angry people.
Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>By the way, make note of the fact that Kevin James has a new comedy special, but John doesn't want to say anything else about it.
Then: Lots of comedians struggle with needing validation from strangers. But that's not really John's temptation. For the Peaches, taking a picture with Elijah Wood is actually VOMITOUS.
Later: What does any of this have to do with a hoarder who keeps bottles of human waste near her fridge? People need to have their conscience trained...but nobody is willing to tell them when they're GROSS.
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Later: Luke shares a post from a woman who is outraged that she was excommunicated.
Everybody likes the idea of church discipline, as long as it goes one way... The same way everyone loves to talk about "conquering" and fighting for political power--as long as it's in the context of an MLK service and not being applied by a white "Christian Nationalist."
Finally: John talked with a guy this week who wants to help thousands of people "make decisions for Christ." But--he doesn't want to have an awkward conversation with his own kids.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Next: he Church love to retreat. Most Christians think they are leaving a "neutral ground" in the middle of the battle field, but that's not how it works! When we step back, it leaves a vacuum that "sucks" the anti-religious Nut Jobs into our old spot that we were too cowardly to stand in.
Later: There's a campground near our home that is "rebranding." (Their words.) They are moving away from a family-style nature...and now, they will be "catering to the LGBT, Adults-Only crowd." (Their words again.) Yes, really! You must be 18 just to walk out on the disc golf course.
Finally, the Pod Ninja (known for his powerful silence) actually brought a topic of discussion! There are some theologically-questionable things on Reddit. Did Jesus hang out with Sinners? Should we take stuff personally? Should we abandon our kids when we don't feel affection, like the animals do?
Don't have fellowship with Sinners, neighbor!
You can email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
The Podcast Ninja had a run-in with a power tool that might leave you feeling a bit light headed.
Then, John shares his New Year's Message for young people... don't promise stuff if you don't really mean it.
Words matter, and "semantics" matter. Which brings us to another point: AMERICANS ARE SHOCKINGLY ILLITERATE. (We bring statistics!)
Why does John hate audiobooks so much?
Also: The Podcast Ninja reads an amazing book review from Amazon that will make you laugh if you understand the words.
Thanks for listening!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>This episode was supposed to air on Christmas Day... but OOPS!
Enjoy this late gift, from us.
--The Comedian's Family
]]>(You know, some people are going to reject the Gospel no matter how we present it. So what do we make of that reality?!)
We humans love to take credit for our own goodness. But--taking God's glory for ourselves is literally the worst sin we can commit. Meanwhile, we like to give our neighbors the benefit of the doubt. But when we assume they are a pretty good, charitable person, that is still judging their heart!
(Plus: why did a U.S. President snub Juan?)
Later:
-Celebrities are still strangers, even when they profess to be Christians.
-"What's up with Jesus having to DIE on the CROSS?!"
-Most church people will let absolutely anyone teach the kids' Sunday School class
-AND, more complaints about Ken Ham... (lol)
Follow Juan on tour at castingcrowns.com. Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Later: John was un-invited from a show for a charity organization, because his blog doesn't support gay people. But do we really want to work for non-profit Do-Gooders who deny the importance of Christ? It's time to cancel the people who think they're HELPING the poor, without Jesus.
Those self-righteous God-deniers are doing far more damage than John's (truthful) blog post.
Contact the Comedian's Family... Email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>The two swap stories about injuries, going all the way back to elementary school!
Then, MEMES! Let's recap the happenings on social media this month, including the stupidest hot takes about religion. Why would a PASTOR share a picture of Kat Von D in lingerie? Answer: people post very stupid hot takes on social media...
Later: John and Juan unpack the parable of the Sower. It's actually kind of depressing when you think about it: there's an awful lot of opportunity for seeds to be lost.
Who's in and who's out? Does God love everybody equally?
Email the comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . Catch up with Juan's little band by looking at his tour schedule: castingcrowns.com.
]]>First: We discuss what has come to be labeled "Spanking Gate." The Peaches was encouraged to hear the Wilson's response to all the controversy. Their Family Interventions sound very similar in seriousness to the Branyan Family Meetings!
Then: There's nothing like being accused of child abuse from people whose parenting solutions are found in prescription bottles. "Please don't help your child learn to control her own emotions...just control her emotions for her, using drugs!"
Later: Luke found a question from a single mom on the internet: should she marry the kind man who provides for her and her son? Or should she wait for someone who cuts his hair more often?
Finally: The Peaches shares a juicy parenting anecdote, for the Internet mobs to find in another 10-15 years. The 10-year-old was made to participate in a group hug, and he was disciplined when he refused.
Please send your comments to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>We apologize for any unseriousness you've gotten from our podcast in the past. We do our best to be VERY serious in this episode...
Recently there have been several emails (and a text message!) asking for more in-depth advice about Real Life Stuff--especially parenting. We do our best to expand on the principles that guide our parenting decisions, while also reminding everyone that each kid/family is different.
Have you ever been so angry that you would have hurled yourself into traffic, just to (somehow) spite the other person? The Peaches has! And so has her young child. As God reveals more to us about our own sin natures, we're better able to share those truths with our kids...
Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
Stay serious, everyone!
]]>If so--we are guilty as charged.
But if you like to image what mass and gravity and velocity could have been doing at the moment God said "let there be light," you might actually LIKE this conversation...
Ignore the part at the end where The Peaches says cooky things about Jesus reversing the curse and conquering death. Obviously, that has nothing to do with the Bible's teaching about death/sin, and women shouldn't be trying to understand this stuff. Email us if you'd like to set the whole family straight: Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
Disclaimer: we believe the Bible is completely inerrant, and we affirm a literal, biblical interpretation of the Genesis story. :) Also--this is not a salvation issue.
People are concerned with what affects their DAILY LIFE. In general, they're not impacted by whether God used millions of years to prepare the earth for humans, except that they're being told their kids will leave the faith if they DON'T teach Young Earth Creationism.
Later: A Good Man Will Do the Dishes!!! (Listen as we explain why Michael Foster is way more interesting than Ken Ham.)
There may be some Christians in reformed circles who are tired of talking about marriage, parenting, and other "basics." But we can't get tired of doing good! There are still many, many, many, many self-identified Christians who haven't learned how to LIVE like Christians, yet. Most of the moms in our home church are still sending their kids to public schools. Many are not even getting married and staying married. Many are still blaming their husbands (who fail to do the dishes) for their unhappiness.
When it comes to theology and growing in their walk with Christ--affirming that creation was accomplished in 24-hour days is not even a blip on the radar.
Contact the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
The real battle throughout human history has been: will we respect God's Word or Man's Word??? We totally agree with Ken Ham about that. But WHICH of the words in his hour-long talk were God's Words?
Let's discuss:
-24-hour days of creation
-describing an act of God in human language
-taking William Lane Craig out of context
-taking the name of Ken Ham in vain
Do you want to tell us we're compromising the Scripture? Email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to give us a piece of your mind!
]]>We know you've been waiting all week for this episode, Pkarlgh.
Today we're talking about the display/campaign that was launched in our Podunk Library. "EVERY READER DESERVES A CHANCE TO SEE THEMSELVES REPRESENTED IN A BOOK!"
(Oh, and don't forget to "trust teachers and librarians." They're definitely not using vague, emotionally-charged catch phrases to push a political agenda.)
Follow the Meme Policeman on social media! Also, email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. We'll see you THIS WEEKEND at The Ark for the FLF CONFERENCE.
]]>
Email the Comedian Next Door at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in just over ONE WEEK!
]]>Send us an email to let us know if you need some more controversy, or if you want us to drum up some more "Brain Candy" for your listening pleasure.
People don't like to think of themselves as antagonistic... But, once they decide that someone else "deserves it," for any reason, then all bets are off. They get to be antagonistic without counting it.
John was accused of "stirring the pot" this week. That's not a Fruit of the Spirit, you know? Let's not talk about controversial stuff, because that's more Christlike.
But, what if: Controversy is the rich soil from which relationships grow? People don't want poop on their relationships...but they need to trust the fertilizing process!
Later: John shares a meme involving an octopus--(i.e. the 8-legged mammals of the sea)--which helps prove once again that Neurodiversity is a fancy word for "spends too much time on the internet." We really need to stop helping people hyperfocus on what they can't do. It's normal to be bad at things. It's NOT normal to expect the entire school system to cater to you.
We talk a little bit about ADHD meds...
And, finally: 5-year-old Silas hops on the mic for just a second. And this prompts the Peaches to share two stories from Parenting World.
Contact the Comedian Next Door at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com/
We hope you've enjoyed this dramatic brawl!
]]>Today we're talking about popular Relationship Gurus on TikTok--specifically "Jimmy on Relationships," who has amassed a huge following from Divorced (or soon-to-be-divorced) women. What does it take to become a popular content creator "on relationships"?
Well, start by having an affair...
Then buy yourself a wig...
Once again, these videos are being share by PROFESSING CHRISTIANS who lack discernment. Why are Church People struggling to sort out the difference between worldly advice and good biblical Wisdom?
Later: John played a Jimmy Video for his men's group, and nobody thought it was important. They'd rather lament the existence of technology than talk about leading their family members who are watching Jimmy Videos.
Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference next month!!!
]]>Comedians John Branyan and Brian Apprille have been in the business a loooooong time. They discuss the evolution of comedy over the years, as our culture has gone from "sort of Christian-y" to totally Flesh-powered and felings-driven.
The Peaches and Tabby are in the studio as well.
Also, Brian talks a lot about hitting people with chairs.
Watch the Starving Comics show LIVE every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern on the John Branyan YouTube Channel. Special thanks to the Fight Laugh Feast Network for hosting The Comedian Next Door Podcast! Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>We need to solve the Cone Palace Problem. Since this is a community-wide issue with far-reaching consequences, you already know exactly what we're talking about: There's constantly gridlocked traffic at the corner of US31 and Center Road, caused by Kokomo's inexplicable craving for mediocre icecream from 4:00pm to 9:00pm DAILY... It's awful. Let's whine about it.
Next, celebrate Luke's special accomplishment with us!
Later... People have no idea how to stay married the "lust phase." Let's dissect a meme that often gets shared by Divorced People to justify their 3rd or 4th or 5th new relationship.
Contact the Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. We'll see you at the Conference in October! (Details at flfnetwork.com)
]]>
John is a little sour today because he wasn't invited to be the Funny Guy at a certain Christian Convention. (Don't worry. He just needs to be reminded that he wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway.)
Speaking of conferences we actually DO want to be part of because we actually DO like the people involved... join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, October 11-14th, at the Ark Encounter. Details at flfnetwork.com.
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Now, let's talk about Luke's trouble-making ways on social media. He posted a John MacArthur quote: "I couldn't care less what a nonbeliever wants in a church service." Cue the offended Church Ladies.
Some of these women aren't busy enough at home, and so they have nothing to "nurse" except a grudge.
"I thought you were supposed to be LOVING...isn't that what CHRiST would do?!"
Wow, that sounds like something a Wolf would say.
"Um...Wolves are only religious people. The Bible never refers to unbelievers as wolves."
Yeah, that's ALSO something a Wolf would say.
Later: Luke wasn't done offending the Fairer Sex. He said somet things about education to a woman who didn't think he had the right college degree for that sort of truth.
Contact the Comedian (and send your hate mail to Luke) by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
Thanks for listening to our podcast on the Fight Laugh Feast Network!
]]>
But first, we chat for about Grandma Turbo's upcoming nuptials, yard work, and taking responsibility.
Later:
-"Kind" and "intelligent" and "friendly" non-believers are even more dangerous than the militant jerks. This is especially true when this is their brand.
-We often teach Christians that they OWE IT to non-believers to reward their so-called friendliness. ("You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.") This makes people more vulnerable to narcissists and other predators who try very hard to be likeable.
-Here's a story about Tabby being manipulated by a royal jerk in college. ("You're not being very Christlike...")
-Moms often feel mean when they take authority in a particular situation--especially when the toddler or child says "I just want a hug!" or "I just want to snuggle."
Finally:
-WOULD YOU TURN DOWN A CHANCE TO HAVE PIZZA WITH RICKY GERVAIS???
Contact the Comedian, John Branyan by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, October 11th-14th at the Ark. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>
We apologize for the late release of this episode.
Points of interest:
-God doesn't need us to defend Him from the Atheist Memes.
-Do Christians make Jesus sad enough to smoke?
-Does God pitch fits and get angry like a petulant toddler?
-"The Liar from the beginning was God; the Serpent told the truth." (Yes, someone actually made a meme with these words.)
-"God is not limited by the facts...choose faith instead of facts!" (Yes, another direct quote from a really stupid meme.)
AND MORE!
Visit castingcrowns.com to find out when Juan will be playing in a city near you. Also, contact the Comedian Next Door by emailing: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Tune in as we share our stories...
Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
(Note: there was some corrupted audio on the first post. We think it's fixed now.)
]]>Come, explore this meme about Deconstruction... this meme beloved by Progressive Christians... and MORE!
Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com... Also join us at the FLF Conference October 11th-14th at the Ark Encounter. Get your tickets at flfnetwork.com!
Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Join us at the FLF conference at The Ark in Kentucky. October 11th to 14th. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>Here's a soundbite featuring a pigeon who sounds weird.
Later: Imagine trying to save the Pagans from their Idolatry and accidentally joining them in their radical skepticism. Enter, the Flat Earthers. They truly believe they are putting "faith in God--not faith in man." But, their arguments sound an awful lot like the Atheist's reasoning...
You can contact the Comedian and his family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>But it could be worse! We could be crushed by the ocean while riding in a tin can!
There was a time when men were respected for their courage and willingness to take perilous risks for the sake of potentially great reward. But, in our current society, most people try to mitigate and avoid risk as much as possible. Someone who fails spectacularly isn't encouraged for at least TRYING... he's ridiculed for doing something "stupid" which "could have been avoided."
You've got Christopher Columbus, the Apollo Missions, and Whats-her-name in that strapless gown. What do all of them have in common???
What would cause a person to attempt to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel? Or tighrope walk between skyscrapers?
Later: If you want a good example of concentrated evil, ask The Internet how it feels about Billionaires who lost their lives in a horrific accident. How can people justify SAYING these ugly, despicable things?
Here's our theory about The Role-Play Game Phenomenon.
People are creating Altar Egos on the internet, and then those Altars are taking over...
To contact The Comedian, John Branyan, just email him at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
Later: How can we prevent all natural disasters in the future? John has a suggestion. We're not really sure why the LGBT community was so offended by Pat Robertson's predictions, when they haven't properly tested his theory.
Finally: Most of us know what's WRONG with "cults," like Bill Gothard's Anti-Rock-and-Roll community. But what's the positive side of growing up in a Bible Cult? We haven't watched Shiny, Happy People. But the interviews with Jinger Duggar have not been the "shocking, secret-revealing" expose that everyone was promised.
Reach out to the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>The Peaches sees everything through the lens of Mothers/Fathers raising children. But maybe we'd all do better to pay attention to what's happening in the Real Life right in front of us... Things like people parking in the fire lane... (There's nothing we can do except be aware that "They" exist.)
Later: Luke feels bad for breaking unwritten rules. Meanwhile, the Peaches bonded with Mark, the Bank Guy...
Finally: If P then Q. They don't teach logic in school anymore, and that's why people often misunderstand what the Bible is saying.
What in the world should we title this hodgepodge conversation?!
Email the Comedian's family using the address nextdoor@johnbranyan.com,
Come on vacation with us! Details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com .
]]>In this episode:
-People don't know how to read anymore.
-Comedians often get asked to remove "offensive" things from their program. (Is Taylor a HYPOCRITE?!)
-When someone hires John or Taylor to do a job--why not let John or Taylor do that job???
-The story of how gospel singer, Ben Speer, once saved Tayor's career...
-The story about John's PG-13 show...
-and MORE!
You can go to Taylor's website (taylormason.com) and sign up for his newsletter. Also, go to johnbranyan.com to get your tickets for VACAY WITH COMICS. Registration closes July 10th.
]]>Then: Luke storms out of this episode.
Luke has a very soft voice, which makes it difficult for him to be heard in this (loud) family. We try to teach him to speak from his diaphragm. But we have to hurry, because our guests are coming over to play games!
Later: Don't you wish you could make divorce look as fun and cool as those people on social media?! Rather than No-Fault divorce, maybe we should refer to all parties as "Failed-at-Marriage."
So many people are trying to find a way to "sell" their own life to the world; they want to package their story as a brand that can be consumed on social media. If having a failed marriage is part of her story, then an Influencer's only option is to find a way to make it seem like a good, relatable, positive thing...
They're trying to make yucky things palatable. Like Matcha.
Hey, Neighbor, will you hurry up and get your tickets to come on VACATION WITH US?! Visit johnbranyan.com for details about Vacay with Comics. IT WON'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU.
]]>So he's asking John for advice.
If you want to know how to prepare for an Open Mic and how to find your voice and how to determine when your proctologist lives a double life as an interior designer, then this is the episode for you! (Bonus: learn why Hans wishes Nancy Kerrigan had taken an iceskate to the knee muuuuuuuuch sooner.)
Find Hans at Lutheran Satire on YouTube. Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Plus, it's not to late to GO ON VACATION WITH US! If you'd like more life advice from people who like to laugh at the world's foolishness, come hang out at Vacay with Comics. Details on the website.
]]>Bob recently shared a meme on Facebook that was shared more than 700 times, but not everyone liked the message. (Christians can be so hateful, you know?) John and Amanda know what it's like to upset both the unbelievers AND the "nice" Christians at the same time! Listen in to their conversation here!
Contact the Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. You can contact Bob by visiting his website, bobsmiley.com. But, remember, it's not about Bob.
Then--a Feminist author, Sheila Wray Gregoire, shared an old video clip from the original Candid Camera show. "Who says girls and women aren't visual creatures?!?!" (Answer: Um, nobody.)
The young ladies are making eyes at their handsome new teacher, and it's all caught on film. But why do the Feminists think this is helping their case at all? Those girls are precisely the ones who need to be told not to dress provocatively just to get the teacher's attention.
Later: These women clearly need to be disciplined (not whatever they have in mind when claiming "She Deserves Better"). But who's supposed to do the disciplining? Who has authority over them? The Peaches make the case that perhaps this is a MOTHERHOOD crisis and not a Fatherhood one. Perhaps it's the mature WOMEN who are supposed to tell these little girls-in-grown-bodies that they're embarassing us and giving womanhood a bad name.
But...women are being taught to use "Gentle Parenting" techniques with their toddlers. So there's a lack of confidence in authoritative discipleship...
Finally: What's going to happen in the next 20 years, when 5th-Wave Feminism has completely "liberated" women from all morality? When Modesty is a derogatory term, and it's hate speech to say women are sinners, too...then what will the big crusade be against?
They probably will wage war against all references to Jesus Himself.
Contact the Comedian by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
Also, come on vacation with The Comedian and his funny friends/family. Registrations closes soon! Get the details about Vacay with Comics on johnbranyan.com before it's too late!
]]>Typically women are more "agreeable," because they are equipped to deal with infants--who are very needy and dependent and can't be held to a higher standard until they've grown. It's easier to be the least mature person in a very mature system than to be the most mature person in a very immature system. Everyone wants to be the Baby of a very stable family--and no one wants to be the Manager of a whole bunch of babies!
Later: We have more to say about Sheila Wray Gregoire, who released a book this week called "She Deserves Better." Why are so many Evangelical MEN afraid to call out these Feminists? Well, short version: they are hesitant for the same reason many women/moms don't want to discipline their own kids. (It feels Too Authoritative.)
Books like "She Deserves Better" is creating perpetually immature women...girls who use their tears to get what they want. And, ironically, her whole strategy depends on men playing the role of Mommies who take care of these Baby Girls.
Women have a big challenge in raising their children: constantly growing WITH them. "How do we know when it's time to comfort them and when it's time to challenge them?!" That's a very good question. And, just when we start to get a routine that seems to work for everyone, it's time for a growth spurt. When you try to sell a cookie-cutter message to EVERY girl/woman in the church, you are trying to sell a silver bullet formula that won't work for most girls/women.
Finally: Being empowered means having responsibility. If you have power, you are capable of abusing it. But no one is warning these women about how to use their power, once it's given to them... Which is a recipe for disaster.
-PITSTOP-
You can reach out to the Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
The following is a much longer-than-intended discussion about the use of language, violence, and gratuitous sex in Rated R movies. (See: "Boobs and Swords") Also, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, we reminisce about an old made-for-TV special that's near and dear to our hearts...
Later: let's talk about a book that's being promoted to Christian women, but let's pretend to censor the author's name. "Shasta McGwire" is about to release a book called "She Deserves Better." The premise is the church uses a double standard when teaching boys and girls about sex/modesty. (We've never heard that before, right?) It's not faaaaaaaaaair, Neighbor!
John doesn't want to call out the author by name, because he doesn't want to deal with their shrieking and finger-wagging. In other words, he doesn't love them enough to tolerate their tantrums in order to tell them something they need to hear. (That's probably what led to thousands of spoiled, insufferable women in the first place...their parents felt the same way when they were young.)
The obvious question, though, is: "She deserves better THAN WHAT?"
The Bible says we discipline children when we LOVE them. Only a fool despises wisdom and learning. So what's with all these "adult" Christian women, complaining that they're getting more discipline than their brothers? Even if it's true (and it's not), why are women demanding to be treated with Kid Gloves?
There's nothing BETTER than holding someone to a very, very, very, very high standard. If you don't, they turn into whiney, self-sorrying Feminists. (Or self-pitying. Whichever you prefer.)
Contact The Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, time is running out to join us on vacation! Vacay with Comics is happening July 28th-30th. Details are here: http://johnbranyan.com/vacay-with-comics-2/
The ability to....articulate....a...uh, problem... is....well, I mean...
Words are hard.
The Peaches is here to help you express your thoughts better.
But first, we need to talk about shoe shelves and magnets that look like guns and trigger discipline. (Don't even THINK about ALMOST putting your finger NEAR the trigger when you're not ready to shoot, Pkarghl! That will be the STUPIDEST thing you've ever done in your WHOLE LIFE, and the Internet will not forget.)
It doesn't matter how much knowledge you have on subject, it's useless if you can't communicate it in a way others will understand. People who are grating and annoying aren't making the world a better place. Their Big Important Information will die with them.
If you'd like to reach out to the Comedian Next Door, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
Also, come on vacation with us! We're doing family camp with a bunch of comedians in July. Vacay with Comics!
Did you know the bathrooms are the most dangerous rooms in the house?
Comedians often hurt themselves in strange ways... (And we have several friends with strangely appropriate last names.)
Later: Listen to John's Noah Webster joke!
Then: Weigh in on a family scandal...Luke thinks our comedy work/business is the same as Poker Night! It's a fun hobby--not really work!!!!
What's the tangible outpur of a comedian's labor??? Are we just eating junk food and gambling over here???
Maybe comedian isn't a legitimate career choice.
Write to the Comedian Next Door by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Watch the Starving Comics Show on the John Branyan YouTube channel. (It's a lot like a poker game.) Also, come on vacation with us in July! Visit johnbranyan.com for details about Vacay With Comics.
]]>
No, don't answer that.
What's your earliest childhood memory? Here's one of Uncle David's! Please take our poll by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com, but address the note TO JOHN, because The Peaches doesn't support this scientific endeavor.
If you want to email the Peaches, let the subject be regarding the weirdest thing you've ever heard of someone recycling.
Next: John shares the lesson he taught the youth group at Lighthouse.
Later: We get down to business explaining why the more you try to take yourself seriously, the more of a punchline you become. It's Natural Law!
There are some folks in the Fight Laugh Feast group going on and on and on and on and on and on about Full Preterism (for weeks!!!). No matter how many times they are assured everyone agrees about the seriousness of heresy--they have made it their personal mission to be as loud and annoying as possible--all for the glory of Jesus.
This isn't a conversation about resurrection or baptism or meat sacrificed to idols. THIS is a conversation about the fact that prideful, self-important people ARE HILARIOUS, and we literally can't help laughing at their relentless babbling.
Also: if you find yourself being proud of the fact that you have no friends--you might have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
Feel free to reach out to us and let us know if you still use the fly part of your undewear OR to warn us we're going to Hell. (Note: TO JOHN.) Time is running out to sign up for Vacay With Comics. Come laugh with us and our friends for a whole weekend in July! Details at johnbranyan.com
]]>
And what about where Paul tells us (in 1 Corinthians) that some things aren't worth fighting about? Well, we share that opinion--and so we respect it.
Finally: This boils down to an authority issue. Who do we trust, when we don't get the opinion we want from someone else? Do we keep shopping around for different doctors or different judges or different pastors (or Gospel-writers) who we think will agree with us? The more immature you are, the more Bosses you need to keep you safe... Just take this example from the McKinney children almost killing themselves.
Write to the Comedian's family: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com Also, if you like being part of the conversations at the table, you should COME ON VACATION WITH US and a few of our Christian, comedian friends. Details about Vacay with Comics can be found at johnbranyan.com
]]>Juan often drops by the Comedian's house to chat about the cultural things on his mind.
What does it mean to be a good person? What does Christian living look like? (Flip to the book of Philemon for spoilers.) What's wrong with the so-called "Purity Movement"? Guys, these questions come up in just the first 10 minutes...
What's Juan thinking today?
To contact the Comedian Next Door, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . To find out where Juan is touring, visit Castingcrowns.com
]]>Juan DeVevo has some things on his mind. Let's process some of it with him...
You can contact the Comedian Next Door, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
The Pod Ninja doesn't listen to The Comedian Next Door episodes. So, sometimes we need him to sit at the table while we talk, just so he knows what we've been talking about...
There's CONTROVERSY! (But when isn't that the case?) It's a good thing we are part of the Fight Laugh Feast Network, where upsetting people on the internet doesn't neessarily mean the end of our career.
We've upset the nurses and the LGBT mob (multiple times), and now we've got the teachers worked up.
John maintains the belief that children should not have access to every, single book ever written.
Some people tried to make the case that Song of Solomon is just as smutty as the raunchy romance novels being discovered in children's libraries--and that's HILARIOUS.
Later: Even good intentions can lead to disastrous outcomes when teachers try to "save" kids from their own parents.
Finally: That Hideous Strength and the Abolition of Man really are worth the hype. C.S. Lewis was ridiculously insightful. And--humans are like stringed instruments, needing to be tuned.
Hey, email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com Also--come on vacation with us in July! Details about Vacay with Comics are at johnbranyan.com.
]]>After a long hiatus, we're back at the kitchen table and trying desperately to organize all our many, many thoughts.
Let's talk about those anonymously-run Facebook groups that exist solely to "call out" a particular person or organization. There's something unhealthy about spending all your time thinking and talking about the so-called sins of a particular individual. That's the sort of obsession that tends to make a person crazy--which could explain how, after a few years, they may end up doxxing a teenaged boy and not realizing how insane that looks to normal people.
Later: John has spent many days attracting hate comments on social media (hundreds of them) because he just keeps repeating his belief that children should not be groomed with sexually explicit material at their government school... John's posts are, of course, ridiculous because there has never been any sexually explicit material found in ANY government school--and also, taking away the sexually explicit material that minors NEEEEEEEED to access in school would be Fascism.
Finally: The topic of New Ageism and Occult practices just keeps popping up. Did you know where the term "hoodwinked" came from, Pkarlgh? How could a person POSSIBLY be messing with Ouija boards and crystals and shakras and spell-casting and trying to make contact with dead people and STILL think she's a "Christian?" Great question!
You should come on vacation with us, Neighbor. Details about Vacay with Comics are at johnbranyan.com. Also, you can email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>
Pull up a seat and let's see if these two brothers are able to fix all the problems with the Church in the next 60 minutes...
Find Juan DeVevo at castingcrowns.com and John Branyan at johnbranyan.com. Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
People don't read well; they think in memes. But, worse still, they treat church attendance like consumers treat a bad interaction with the manager of a restaurant...
Juan sums it up nicely mid-episode: "You're drawing a line between, 'This is the place I get my oil changed' and 'This is my FAMILY.'"
Pull up a seat and let's see if these two brothers are able to fix all the problems with the Church in the next 60 minutes... Please forgive the abrupt ending! haha.
Find Juan DeVevo at castingcrowns.com and John Branyan at johnbranyan.com. Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Be a fly on the wall as they tread familiar ground surrounding theology, culture, and the need to sharpen iron.
Take Pastor Serhal's advice: love God and love people--but don't always be nice.
]]>First, John shares bits of his testimony from early college days, listening to church leaders spar and debate. He quickly learned not every Christian was tough enough to sharpen iron.
Later, why do pastors seems to talk differently with their peers than they talk when they're with the rest of the Church?
]]>"What are you even saying to me right now?!" That's what the guys feel like shouting when they're talking to Deconstructionists. Atheists and other Postmodern Deconstructionists only want to UN-define words--never define them.
Pull up a chair and join the conversation. You're visiting the Comedian Next Door. (If you missed part 1, what's wrong with you?! Go back to last week and listen!)
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Jason helps John understand why nothing is really understandable... or something?
Pull up a chair and join the conversation. You're visiting the Comedian Next Door.
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
]]>Reach out to the Comedian, John Branyan, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
]]>Let us tell you about the Breastfeeding Activist/Feminists who have turned the act of feeding their children into a Side Show for the Church Ministers to gush over. Please don't "normalize" laying hands on breastfeeding women during service...
Are you familiar with breastfeeding vanity pictures? Good grief.
But don't listen to the Peaches. Her only goal in life is to hurt breastfeeding mothers.
Reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .
And why not come on vacation with the Branyan Family and their comedian friends??? Visit johnbranyan.com for more details about Vacay with Comics 2023.
Finally, remember: if you have a problem with whatever I'm doing, cover YOUR head.
]]>
Andrew and Tabby are John's two youngest children, and they have a lot to say about a spider they caught. Should they kill it or catch-and-release?
In this episode:
"You could get eight really good drumsticks from that spider." --John Branyan
"We have butts, and we can't spin webs...cigarettes have butts, and they can't spin webs."
Tabby is getting married later this week, but she won't come back to visit if Dad and Andrew let the spider go in the house.
"...Did you know, Dad, that some turtles breathe out of their butts?" --Tabby (Branyan) Farkas
Later: John and the Peaches talk about the Atheist Hospice Care Worker. (With just a few interruptions from young girls with noisy toys.) How can an Atheist assign value to end-of-life care?
Quote from The Way of the Heathen: "We matter because we matter to each other in our own short time on our own short scale...we make each other important."
Reach out to John and the Peaches by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>
Here's a sample of what you're missing!
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his pals in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: We're ringing in the New Year with one of our favorite games, Affirm or Deny. But first, Brian has a SURPRISE! Later, he helps you plan your next road trip. AND, Juan gives you the language lesson you'll need to relate better with Gen Z.
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>It's nearly December, and things are hectic around here. So, we're REPOSTING the very first podcast episodes we ever published! These were the days long before we joined the Fight Laugh Feast Network--when we sat around a tiny, hand-held recorder at JOHN'S house (not the Peaches' house), and we let the dog in and out while we chatted about culture, faith, and family.
On this inaugural episode:
The Peaches and John discuss the usefulness of spirited debate in culture and religion. We also discuss whether or not Cami should have a snack.
This was first broadcasted in the fall of 2016.
To reach out to the Comedian Next Door, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, visit johnbranyan.com to get your tickets to Vacay with Comics 2023. It's going to be epic.
]]>Here's a sample of what you're missing!
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his pals in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: We're getting into the Christmas spirit with many inex-SCQS-able hijinks. Not to mention: Our friend, Comedian Dave Dugan, joins the festive chaos!
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>The men talk about various projects they're working on, but they DON'T want to be "intentional" with their conversation. (Ew.) David wants the conversation to be interesting for you, Neighbor. But--John isn't very worried about that...
Cue the unscripted discussion now!
-Why do we only call our friends when we have something specific to talk about? (Or is that just a "Male Tendency"?)
-What are the differences between "real conversation" and social media speeches? (And what's up with texting?)
-The lack of human interaction is impacting how people actually THINK and process reality.
AND MORE!...including some discussion about prison sentences and the death penalty.
You can find more information about David Pendleton's comedy by visiting anythingcantalk.com. Also, reach out to John Branyan by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Thanks for visiting with us, Neighbor!
]]>
Here's a sample of what you're missing!
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his pals in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: In our family, literally every phrase can be connected with a movie. Here, let us demonstrate! Plus, John has a story about a Palpatine Taco T-Shirt... Eat your heart out, Disney!
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>John is concerned his vote may not be counted because of his writing utensil, and the Peaches briefly considered running for school board on the platform: "My Kids Will Never Attend Here."
NEXT: There's an article published by Desiring God which actually acknowledges the sinfulness of women, and we almost can't believe it! (Title: "She Needs Truth: How Hard Words Serve Women")
LATER: Imagine being inspired and uplifted by a politician's speech... Imagine needing to hear that a Democratic candidate "sees you." Yikes.
FINALLY: Social media has really messed up a lot of people. The Peaches used to see the Internet as a Mission Field, but maybe we've been sending people out there to evangelize before they were ready. Christians are not doing a great job standing up to the evil, on the whole.
]]>Here's a sample of what you're missing!
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his pals in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: Judge Juan rules once and for all to determine our all-time best segment on SCQS. AND John thomas Oaks shares a ditty (by Tom Jones) that's sure to make you SMILE.
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>Let's chat about Devil Magic for a little bit...
NEXT: We like the idea of staring a new advice column. Dear Comedi-Anne. The first question to tackle involves kids being excluded from a birthday party. (This story is HEARTBREAKING, Pkarlgh!)
LATER: We call out an online "influencer" by name, because he's preying on traumatized, emotional children. He has become a surrogate family for a community of people who self-identify as abuse victims. Yet, these desperate people are too wrecked to recognize BAD ADVICE when they're being given it.
Reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. The holiday season is upon us, and it's the perfect time to plan your Christmas gifts. Why not get tickets to VACAY WITH COMICS 2023? More details at johnbranyan.com.
]]>Here's a sample of what you're missing!
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his pals in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: The audience begins the voting process for their all-time favorite SCQS games, songs, and segments. Which bit will be the ultimate winner?! Take a trip down memory lane with us.
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>First off--we're becoming kind of notorious at our local Dairy Queen.
Then: Why Andrew should never get a job as a dog-walker.
Later: The Peaches talks about being "almost insulted" by 5-year-old Andrew. Plus, we hear why Tim Branyan was ashamed of his baby brother's physique.
And Don't Miss This: The Matriarch, Lori, shares the infamous "You-Look-A-Little-Weird" story.
We hope you enjoy this noisy visit to our table. Here's a hearty "Good Well" to Andrew, and we'll see you next time! (Reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com)
]]>
First off--we're becoming kind of notorious at our local Dairy Queen.
Then: Why Andrew should never get a job as a dog-walker.
Later: The Peaches talks about being "almost insulted" by 5-year-old Andrew. Plus, we hear why Tim Branyan was ashamed of his baby brother's physique.
And Don't Miss This: The Matriarch, Lori, shares the infamous "You-Look-A-Little-Weird" story.
We hope you enjoy this noisy visit to our table. Here's a hearty "Good Well" to Andrew, and we'll see you next time! (Reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com)
]]>
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his friends in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: In case you need reminding that this is a live show, we have packed this one full of distracting technical problems... Morgan Freeman and Biscuit Neck both join us for a bit. Plus--we play a story-creating game called Scribblenauts. (And there are more tech difficulties!)
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>Broadcasting from John's house--but the Peaches forgot to pack the headphones. So, we can't hear anything we're producing. Hopefully it sounds okay.
John just got back from doing a comedy show for less than 30 people. This leads us to discuss the way audience size (and location) affects the way we talk. Does that mean we're being inauthentic or two-faced because we alter our style for different occassions?
Pull up a chair at the table!
Visit johnbranyan.com to join the Comedy Clique and support The Comedian Next Door. We're going on VACATION in July 2023, and we want you to come with us. For more information about Vacay with Comics, visit the John Branyan website.
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his friends in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: It's Juan's birthday, and we gift him possibly the best thing we've ever created. It's a crude piece of software that automatically generates scottish insults! Hurray!
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>Speaking of females--the women on social media are up to their toxic shenanigans again. Newsflash: Women should be respected no matter what they're wearing! (If you disagree, you're probably just an OLD BOOMER.)
Next: Before you call a woman a "nag," you need to understand she only verbally abuses her family because she HAS TO. She nags FOR THEM because she loves them.
Later: a popular radio host broadcasted some truly terrible advice about encouraging daughters to make their own path and find their identity apart from their families. In case you're wondering why women are so messed up, just listen to Delilah and follow it up with a song by the artist, P!nk.
It's a jungle out there, Ladies! Send your emails to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com if you've run across Women Behaving Badly and you think we should know about it.
We're going on Vacation with some of our comedian friends, and you're invited! Join us in July 2023 for VACAY WITH COMICS. Details at johnbranyan.com .
]]>Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his friends in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: Half the usual team is OUT OF TOWN. But Tabby is taking over the Producer's seat. And Brian Apprille is a very capable host. We're playing a game of Misheard Lyrics. Plus, a surprise appearance from someone who wasn't supposed to make it.
We want you to come on vacation with our funny family and friends. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>Pop into the conversation with John thomas Oaks, Bruce and Jacob Johnson, the Podcast Ninja...and, blowing our time limit out of the water: The Chocolate Knox (David Shannon).
]]>
Pop into the conversation with John thomas Oaks, Bruce and Jacob Johnson, the Podcast Ninja...and, blowing our time limit out of the water: The Chocolate Knox (David Shannon).
]]>
Comedian John Branyan plays ridiculous trivia games, creates animated short vids, and generally horses around with his friends in the entertainment industry. Meet Brian Apprille--voice impressionist and movie buff. Listen to John thomas Oaks--musician, composer, and Story-Teller Extraordinaire. And laugh at Juan DeVevo--dead pan King of One-Liners and founding member of Casting Crowns.
On this episode of SCQS: It's a PIRATE theme, with new music by Jt Oaks and a special guest appearance from everyone's favorite news correspondent: Pirate Rooney. Plus, we play one of the audience least-favorite games invented by John Branyan. Does it grate on your nerves as much as it grates on everyone else? Only one way to find out! Listen in!
We want you to come on vacation with us. For details about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023, visit johnbranyan.com
]]>Emmi is wearing a lot of hats, and The Peaches is going to her dance class soon. (Oops, sorry, we mean "rhymic movement.")
Let's talk about Legalism! First--we give a brief history of things that would get you reprimanded by Church People 40 years ago. (Cards, alcohol-consumption, and dancing!) The anti-dancing crowd will say it's important to "avoid the appearance of evil." And, to that, a ready reply should be: "True! So why don't you stop appearing to be such a Pharisee???" This is known as Good Rhetoric.
Later, The Peaches makes an excellent transition to discussing the NEW Legalism: Internet Karens who say all disciplinary spanking is abusive.
Nobody wants to be a Pharisee. So--Christians need to use this fact to their rhetorical advantage. In other words, we need to get better at framing the anti-spank Pharisees as judgmental jerks. If you're looking for an example of an actual social media exchange with a Pearl-Clutching Karen who doesn't love her kids enough to spank them, we've got you covered! Visit Kendra Tierney's blog, Catholic All Year, if you want great advice from an experience mom who spanks her kids with great results.
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com -- and visit the website (johnbranyan.com) for information about going on vacation with us! Vacay with Comics, 2023. It's gonna be great.
]]>
On this episode, Brian is broadcasting from Cracker Barrel, and Jt is new to the group! Yes, we're throwing it WAY BACK to December 2020, when this episode was first recorded. Ah, the good old days.
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com
]]>But...wait, why is Luke wearing a bathrobe?
Anyway, this family knows how to throw some REALLY "dood" parties! But we wouldn't be able to juggle all of those planning details if we didn't have a concrete plan. Don't try to memorize your to do list, Pkarlgh! (A loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter.) That's a terrible use of brain power.
Write it down, and then you can free up space for problem-solving...
Next: John thinks memorizing the alphabet is stupid. Total waste of time. Please feel free to weigh in, Pkarlgh.
Later: The Peaches has a new BFF! You should follow Brooks Gibbs on social media. He is a psychologist who teaches kids to be mentally resilient, rather than trying to rid the world of bullies. His advice isn't only appropriate for children in schools... He also may have some things to teach grown-ups who are struggling with anxiety.
Reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . We want to go on vacation with you (and all our funny friends). Visit johnbranyan.com for more information about Vacay with Comics--July 2023.
]]>On this episode, our friend Jasmine joins us from Down Under to give us some lessons in Australian culture. Always a fan favorite!
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com
]]>First, one of the Sister Wives divorced her husband. Word on the street is, this particular Sister Wife thinks it's "ridiculous" that her husband's attraction to her is affected by the way she treats other members of the family... (Unsurprisingly, the Internet agrees.)
Next, women have been expecting their husbands to read their minds for a long time. Now--they are beginning to judge their other friends and relatives by the same standard. Love means just KNOWING what to do WITHOUT HAVING TO ASK!
Finally, here are two articles for your consideration. "Hurts So Good"--about the sudden rise in invisible illnesses. Are mental illnesses contagious? "A New Way to be Mad"--first published in 2000, about the link between Transgenderism and people who want to remove healthy limbs/digits.
Join us at the Fight, Laugh, Feast Conference in Knoxville, October 6th-8th. John will be glad to see you, even if The Peaches isn't.
Want to know what it would be like to go vacation with a bunch of comedians? Visit johnbranyan.com for information about VACAY WITH COMICS!
]]>On this episode, "Curvy Juan" joins us for sound check. We're always ready, but never prepared. There is so conversation about Godzilla and football. THEN, we get around to our game which is definitely one of those it's better to see as well as hear.
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com
]]>If you've ever wondered why restaurants often sing a special happy birthday song rather than the traditional version, allow Tabby to make up a nonsense explanation!
Later: John is encouraging his small congregation to visit ANOTHER small congregation for Sunday services. Does that make him weird? (Short answer: yes.)
We spend the rest of the show unpacking WHY John is so weird. And we'll explain why every local church body in the country is a little bit different, but also mostly the same.
Which role do you play in YOUR local church, Neighbor?
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to share your thoughts. Also, consider supporting John Branyan Comedy by joining the Clique! Tune in Sundays at 7:00pm Eastern on the John Branyan YouTube Channel for a special LIVE stream event. (Your LIVE comments will be featured in the show!)
]]>On this episode, it's all about Branson, MO! Have you ever wondered what it would be like to perform comedy in front of 4 people? Some of our hosts can let you know...
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com
]]>Also: have you noticed the Texas Roadhouse logo kind of looks like a rabbit, if you look at it veeeeeeeery carefully. Come find us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October, and we'll have Cami show you!
Then: People are very offended at the idea that men become kings of a tiny kingdom when they get married. If you don't know why, then you're part of the problem.
Later: Everybody in Moscow seems to be obsessed with warfare! (And that includes the critics, who are more than ready to show up and fight.)
Finally, the Peaches sent an email to an app developer letting them know that abortion is NOT healtcare. If you'd like to email the same company, the address we used was: service@biowink.com.
We'll see you in Knoxville October 6th-8th!
On this episode:
-If we want to IMPACT the culture, we must be prepared to take some responsibility when our IMPACT isn't a good one.
-How do we label the smaller subset of Christians who promote individualism and making PERSONAL DECISIONS for Jesus? (Should we call them "baptists?")
-We must pause to manage the crying child...
-Lots of children have gone to Church Camp and "made a decision" to identify as a Christian only to turn around two years later and "identify" as the opposite gender. Coincidence? Maybe.
-Look at the way parents often shrug and say "we did our best, but we can't control our kids." If they won't take responsibility for the way their kids turn out, then who will?
And more!
We want to see you at the FLF Conference, October 6th-8th in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com. Also--if you've ever wondered what it would be like to go on vacation with a bunch of comedian friends, we have a GREAT opportunity for you. Visit johnbranyan.com to learn more about VACAY WITH COMICS, coming July 2023.
Email the Comedian and his family at: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
On this episode, the Producer is having some tech issues and our special guest is late. But that's okay! Brian Apprille reviews the reviews of an Amazon product. Judge Juan holds court to decide whether or not Butterfinger candy bars are tasty. And Dave Dugan eventually wanders in to discuss protective gear for eating Cheetos.
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com.
Would you like to go on vacation with a bunch of comedians? Visit johnbranyan.com for details about VACAY WITH COMICS--July, 2023.
]]>Then: find out what is making John nervous right now! (Hint: it has to do with a performance he has NEVER DONE before.)
Later: there's big News about John getting a REAL JOB. It's the same Real Job he had BEFORE he quit to become a full-time comedian.
All this and more on today's episode.
If you'd like to email the Comedian's family: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
We're looking forward to seeing all our neighbors at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. (Details at flfnetwork.com)
COME ON VACATION WITH US! Visit johnbranyan.com for information about Vacay with Comics--returning July 2023.
On this episode, Pat Oaks (Jt's Mama) plays affirm or deny. And Daren Streblow receives much virtual applause from our live audience. John shames Daren for not coming on the show sooner. Plus, cranberries factor in somehow.
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com.
Finally--Daren will be with us at VACAY WITH COMICS. If you'd like to go on vacation with a bunch of comedians, visit johnbranyan.com for the details.
]]>THEN, we share a Sea Chanty that was written by our good friend, John thomas Oaks, to promote Vacay with Comics! If you've wondered what it would be like to go on vacation with a bunch of Christian comedians, this is the event for you. Visit johnbranyan.com for more information. (And, to see the video version of this song, visit the John Branyan YouTube Channel.)
Finally, John talks about an interview between Pete Holmes and Tom Segura, with the totally-not-clickbait title "PETE HOLMES HATES THESE CHRISTIAN JOKES!"
There are two problems. #1. Pete Holmes is an ex-Christian who still tries to speak like some type of authority on Christian culture. #2. The "jokes" (and "comedians") he mocks do not represent the best Christian material out there. Everyone agrees the jokes are corny and terribly--including the vast majority of Christians.
Send us an email at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also JOIN US AT THE FLF CONFERENCE, October 6th-8th in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>On this episode: Bald is more manly! Later, help us figure out the words to our theme song. (We really don't know them!) Finally, Jim Hope launches into an epic rant about the connection between Ground Hogs and Vladimir Putin.
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>Even churched kids don't have basic Bible knowledge. The majority of students are coming from broken homes, with no foundation for how to live in a healthy family/community. Stay tuned for the end of the episode, when Pete tells us exactly how to fix all of these serious issues!
You can find Peter's personal website at peterheck.com and many of his articles at notthebee.com. If you enjoy content from The Comedian, please consider joining the Comedy Clique. (Details at johnbranyan.com) Also--have you wondered what it would be like to go on vacation with a bunch of comedians?! You need to join us for Vacay with Comics 2023.
Finally, we'll be joining our Fight Laugh Feast brothers and sisters at the FLF Conference October 6th-8th. If you haven't registered yet, WHY NOT?! (flfnetwork.com)
On this episode: technical difficulties, Gilbert Gottfried as a hypnotist, and finally, the hosts treat you to some high-quality ASMR!
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com
]]>Bill Burr performed an amazing rant about abortion recently. Why are the PAGAN Comedians being more unabashedly truthful from stage than the Christian ones?!
Kenn and John both share examples of jokes/bits that were considered "too offensive" by certain church people.
Also: what's with all the "second-hand" offense these days?
Check out Kenn's drybar special by Googling Kenn Kington Drybar. He's trying to get a million views! Also, visit johnbranyan.com to join the Branyan Comedy Clique and support the show. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville October 6th-8th! (Details at flfnetwork.com)
]]>On Today's episode: Hans Fiene (of Lutheran Satire fame) joins the crew to put on a puppet show. Yes, really!
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in every Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel. Your LIVE comments will be featured! Also--join us October 6th-8th at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>We'll cover all of these things and much, much more! In fact, this is an EXTENDED EPISODE, which would have been even longer if The Peaches hadn't decided when to pull the plug...
You can find Juan's touring schedule at castingcrowns.com. Also--visit johnbranyan.com for details about VACAY WITH COMICS. Coming in July, 2023. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference October 6th-8th in Knoxville. (Flfnetwork.com for more information.)
]]>Here's a sample of the mayhem you're missing...
On this episode--Anita Renfroe joins our merry band to play one of our favorite games and help us understand Southern Women a little better.
If you like what you hear, subscribe to the John Branyan YouTube channel. Also--come hang with us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference October 6th-8th in Knoxville, Tennessee. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>John used a passage in 1 Timothy when he was teaching at youth Bible Study this week. What does "rebuke" mean? And what does "exhort" mean? Ask your kids to define words for you, Neighbor! It helps them learn to think!
Later: we give some examples of adults who struggle with ethical dilemmas because they aren't wise. What would you do if the boat was sinking and you could only save 4 out of 10 people? (Why not just roll dice?)
Then: what would you do if you got pregnant out of wedlock and didn't want to confess to your family?
Finally: Pilgrim's progress is a really great story. Kids don't have the capacity to understand it fully. But, with some life experience (and maturity), it really hits you!
If you'd like to contact the Comedian, you can email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. We are gearing up for the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in Knoxville, October 6th-8th. Details at flfnetwork.com! Also, come on vacation with a bunch of comedians. Details about Vacay with Comics 2023, at johnbranyan.com.
Ignore the road noise, and pass the coffee.
Topics include:
-Great hotel experiences
-Good shows and bad comedy shows
-Arguing with libs on social media (and telling a pastor to step down)
-"The most evil people in the world know that, if they're going to maneuver in society, they have to make people like them. Serial killers are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet! They win people over because they're so nice! But they're just desperately wicked people."
And much, much more.
Visit johnbranyan.com and join the Comedy Clique to support the show! Also, sign up to attend the Fight Laugh Feast Conference at flfnetwork.com. Email The Comedian Next Door at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.
The camping trip last week did NOT go according to plan. Spoilers: there was car trouble and much, much, much vomit.
What can we do when the family trip just keeps delivering blow after blow? How can we be emotionally okay--when things are falling apart physically?
On the one hand, it's nice to feel needed and to have your job clearly laid out in front of you. But how many of us actually live as though we believe that "blessings come through raindrops and healing comes through tears"? (Update: That song is only 11 years old. But it might as well be 30.)
It's a miracle of the Holy Spirit whenever ANYONE is able to step outside the terrible situation and stay Kingdom-minded.
Then: WHYYYYYY ME?!?!?! Lessons from Nancy Kerrigan and the Pipe Incident...
Later: Why were the city fireworks so weird this year? We don't know for sure, but now John has a great idea for a musical.
If you'd like to contact the Comedian Next Door, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also--we want you to come on vacation with our family and several of our Comedian Friends. Visit the johnbranyan.com and get more information about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023.
Topics include:
-Progressive Christianity
-Refusing to associate with apostates
-Planks and Logs (and when should we judge?)
-Social media theology and popular false teaching
-How does John write jokes and plan his comedy sets?
-And much more!
Visit johnbranyan.com and join the Comedy Clique! All the cool kids are doing it! Also--if you haven't downloaded the Fight Laugh Feast App and become a member of the FLF Network, what are you waiting for? Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>Then: A survey of parks in our hometown. Maybe this isn't interesting to anyone else--but you can Google "Jackson Morrow Park Kokomo" and confirm we're TELLING THE TRUTH about this!
Later: John got into some trouble suggesting that women shouldn't be "comedians" the same way men can... Allow him to clarify. Eventually, he admits the women in his family are very funny, which prompts the Peaches to share a story about the dream she had. (One word: Ants)
Finally, go check out Facebook and see the horde of angry trolls on John's page. How the heathen rage when Christians celebrate life.
----
We want you to come on vacation with us! Visit johnbranyan.com for more information about Vacay with Comics.
]]>If you haven't been tuning in for the live broadcasts, here's a little sample of what you've been missing...
On this episode, Juan DeVevo is out on the road and Jt's keyboard crashed. (This is why we have a sound check!) Also, we have a special guest in the studio: Kristin Weber! She's an expert on Adulting for Jesus.
John surprises Jt with something that will change the course of the entire show. And, later, we play a new game called "Channels," which makes a lot more sense when you can SEE the television.
If you're ready to watch this show live, subscribe to the John Branyan YouTube channel and tune in every Sunday evening! Also, consider supporting content like this by visiting johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique.
Since you're at the Comedian's house today, you can help us get ready for Family Camp next week. John is scheduled to deliver four talks, plus games and activities, so we need to figure out which topics to cover with the campers. (Somebody grab a pen and write this stuff down!)
-Comedy is able to thrive in families because of shared contexts/experiences. There are lots of opportunities for "inside jokes" and call-backs!
-Good improv works because comedy is built into the game... and guess Who built comedy into the Game of Life?
-In order to do comedy better, learn to ask lots of questions.
-Tell kids the truth... (You have to understand what's true in order to make jokes about it.)
If all of this seems a bit disjointed and random, it's because we still have some polishing to do before next week! What else should we cover in our presentations, Neighbor? Which bits of wisdom/advice from The Comedian have been most helpful to you?
Send us your recommendations: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
Also, visit johnbranyan.com for information about VACAY WITH COMICS 2023. We're going camping with a bunch of John's comedian friends, and we want your family to join us.
In this episode, John Branyan and Brian Apprille and Juan DeVevo and John thomas Oaks are telling STORIES based on word prompts drawn randomly. (You can get your own copy of the game Story Salad by visiting johnthomasoaks.com)
Plus, we're totally not ripping off Fat Albert... Not at all...
Be sure to subscribe to John Branyan's YouTube channel so you can be part of the next SCQS!
Finally: the Atheists are swarming on John's Facebook page. You can go look at some of their comments, but don't spend too much time trying to climb inside their heads and think like they do. It's hellish in there.
If you'd like to connect with the Comedian and his family, you can email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . We're going to be hosting another Vacay with Comics in July of 2023! Please be on the lookout for details on our website (johnbranyan.com) ....but cut John some slack because it's really hot up in the attic where he works.
Okay, NOW we're going to hear a parable about a church with a strange number of house fires. Everybody's house is burning to the ground around here! What is going on???
We need to look at the fruit that church people are producing. And then we need to have the courage to stop taking advice from broke people.
Instead of buying fireworks, why don't you teach your kids the basic tenents of Christianity? (Pssst, Christianity teaches more than just "love people.")
If you'd like to reach out to the Comedian and his family, you can email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . Also, consider supporting the show by visiting johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique! We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October, Neighbor! (Details at flfnetwork.com)
]]>
Today, we're talking about the fact that things change and people grow, and sometimes we regret things we said years ago. (Hey, that rhymes.) We place a high value on "consistency" (as opposed to hypocrisy), which is a good thing EXCEPT there may come a point where the focus on consistency will prevent us from making necessary changes. Why are we so afraid to be DIFFERENT than we were in the past?
In this episode:
-We can't say all the truth things at once. Only God can.
-Do something that Future Tabby will thank you for! (Good job, Past Tabby.)
-How can an aspiring young minion get her foot in the door of the entertainment industry? (Spoiler: The Comedian doesn't know.)
Plus more!
If you'd like to contact us, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, consider supporting the show by visiting johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique. Mark your calendars for July 27th to 30th, 2023. We're going on a VACAY WITH COMICS, and we want you to come laugh with us.
]]>
On this episode, the hosts share a new song about Frost Heaves. (People from Boston know all about that phenomenon!) Also--we bring back a popular segement: CONSPIRACY THEORY JEOPARDY.
If you like listening to this show, you'll love watching it. Tune in on Sunday at 7:00pm on the John Branyan YouTube channel.
We're not sure! But this episode DOES have lots of toads going for it! (Do dogs eat for pleasure?)
Contact us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, considering supporting John Branyan Comedy by visiting johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique! There are lots of insider perks for doing so. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October!
Here's a sample of SCQS.
During the sound check, the men discuss kombucha and keifer. (Points if you alredy know how to pronounce both of those.) Cue the theme song!
On today's episode, Brian is out of town, but he joins us in the comment section. Juan and Jt Oaks talk about doing shows in barns... And later Jt debuts a brand new song about traveling through Atlanta. GET US OUT OF HERE!
Finally, we play a game where you have to identify what's missing in the picture. It's much better when you're able to WATCH rather than just listening. So--maybe consider following John Branyan on YouTube and joining us LIVE for the next episode of SCQS!
We've been laughing! (The horror.)
There is WAY TOO MUCH SADNESS in the world for Christians to spend any time being funny. Do you have any idea how many traumatic experiences happen in churches?! We have so much crying to do and so little time... Stop smiling! This is serious!
If you'd like to contact the Comedian, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, consider supporting the show by visiting johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October! (Details at flfnetwork.com)
]]>
John thomas drank a lot of coffee before tonight's show. He does his best James Cagney. And later, Brian Apprille teaches everyone how to speak like a Bostonian PROPERLY. Also featuring: Juan DeVevo, founding member of Casting Crowns. And John Branyan--the Original Starving Comic.
Follow John Branyan on YouTube and enable notifications to watch SCQS LIVE and see if it looks as good as it sounds. Live comments are featured on the show!
]]>Finally, we get pretty raw and honest about the insomnia and mood swings and how it's affecting parenting decisions. We're trying to teach our kids to do the right thing, even when they don't feel like it. But, we have to practice what we preach first!
You can contact us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com...
In our community, most of our brothers and sisters in Christ are NOT familiar with the philosophy of education that is commonplace among people in the Fight Laugh Feast Network. We don't have a church full of Christians who "get it," and that feels discouraging sometimes.
Here's an analogy about painting a garage that might feel relatable...
It's difficult to help others educate their children in Christian orthodoxy, when the parents were ALSO products of public school. How to we even begin to unpack all the misunderstandings and bad assumptions?
You can reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, visit flfnetwork.com to get more information about the Fight Laugh Feast Conference. (That's coming up in October. Be there or be square!)
]]>We're continuing to "plod" along with our daily tasks--but sometimes the process feels painfully slow. If you're an older mother who has successfully raised her children in the Lord, the Peaches could use some encouragement. Email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to share your testimony of how daily, ordinary faithfulness has paid off.
Later: Look at all the amazing things our bodies are able to do... like REMEMBERING things that happened in the past and driving to church without crashing.
Who are we to decide what's "too much" for us to handle? Wouldn't we think most of our ordinary activities were "too much," if we hadn't experienced being able to do them?
The Peaches has been convicted that she has been influenced by the Materialist culture more than she realized. There are many assumptions about the limitations of our physical bodies which come from "science" (and "experts" in Biology) rather than from Scripture...
Many other things get brought up as well, but it's a bit difficult to outline. Pull up a chair at the table and join us!
Visit johnbranyan.com to Join the Comedy Clique and support the show. You also can visit flfnetwork.com for more information about the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, coming up in October. Our family will be there (Lord willing). Will yours?
]]>Enjoy this shorter episode for your mid-week visit to the Comedian's house.
If you enjoy the show, consider supporting The Comedian Next Door by joining the Comedy Clique. Details at johnbranyan.com.
]]>Let us regale you with a very long-winded anecdote with borrowed from The King's Hall Podcast. Don't be quick to divide and sell the land of your inheretance, Neighbor!
You can contact us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com, and you can support the show by becomining a member of John's Comedy Clique. Details at johnbranyan.com.
]]>
John wants to talk about why so many Christians seem to be "deconstructing" their faith. We think we mostly agree with the article he quotes.
Young Americans no longer trust large institutions like the government, the medical establishment, and the Church. They've become loners who trust no one except themselves...and it's getting to the point where they don't really trust themselves, either. (That's what happens when you have been taught to see through everything. There's no end to the free fall.)
Christians have access to information about other belief systems and worldviews they didn't have 100 years ago, which may tempt them away from their faith. But--more importantly--they don't have the skills necessary to discern what's true and what's false.
Pull up a chair and join the discussion! Email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com with your comments. Also--be looking for more information about the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October. We'll see you there, Neighbor!
]]>Please enjoy today's table talk with John, the Peaches, and the Podcast Ninja (Luke). We'll tell you how to make yeast rolls that will offend your grandmother... and how to make marshmallows... and how to make cotton candy in the most entertaining way possible.
Also, please let us know if you're interested in our Racoon-Trapping Kits. We're ready to make some money!
Email: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to interact with us.
Thanks for visiting, Neighbor!
]]>Then, the Peaches reminds John about how wrong he was two episodes ago... (Remember when John was wrong, Neighbor?) But she's actually trying to make him feel better by sharing something that convicted HER lately: CS Lewis had a different perspective on Emotionalism than we typically have on this podcast!
Please enjoy some quotes from The Abolition of Man.
"[People who are wrong] see the world around them swayed by emotional propaganda — they have learned from tradition that youth is sentimental — and they conclude that the best thing they can do is to fortify the minds of young people against emotion. My own experience as a teacher tells an opposite tale. For every one pupil who needs to be guarded from a weak excess of sensibility there are three who need to be awakened from the slumber of cold vulgarity. The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles but to irrigate deserts. The right defence against false sentiments is to inculcate just sentiments. By starving the sensibility of our pupils we only make them easier prey to the propagandist when he comes. For famished nature will be avenged and a hard heart is no infallible protection against a soft head." --CS Lewis
John doesn't think we have been guilty of downplaying emotions. BUT, his young grandson recently confessed to feeling guilty about liking video games, so...
What do you think, Neighbor? Are Christians accidentally creating hard hearts, as a remedy for soft heads? Or are we doing a decent job passing on an appreciation for objective beauty and majestic music and passionate poetry?
Send us your comments: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
Also, tune in later this week for MORE CONTENT from The Comedian Next Door. (If you'd like to support the show, consider joining the Comedy Clique. Details at johnbranyan.com)
]]>We always talk about not being able to trust our emotions, but we can't always trust our thoughts and perceptions, either...
Sometimes the tasks that would be stressful for others actually calm us down. That's our comfort zone! But sometimes we have panic attacks on airplanes.
Next, John makes a few confusing announcements about when he'll be performing at Gutty's comedy club. (He's appearing at the Minneapolis Gutty's on April 22nd and 23rd, and the Indianapolis Gutty's on April 29th and 30th.) Also, the Peaches sees a bug on the wall.
Then, John's dental hygienist asked for his opinion about the infamous Chris Rock and Will Smith Slap, so he shares that opinion with you, Neighbor Pkarlgh! Basically, the people of Hollywood are not doing very well!
Being unable to handle Mean Words is a sign of personal weakness. Don't be so easily stressed by your surroundings that you can't control your actions.
Finally, what would possess Joel Osteen to block other Christians from critiquing his sermons? (Also, we're still trying to meet Mike Winger. If you know his people, put in a good word for us.)
If you'd like to support the show, visit johnbranyan.com and join The Comedy Clique. You'll get exclusive access to our Telegram group and private game nights and more! We'll be at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October. More details at flfnetwork.com .
]]>In this episode:
-Why would a person post a comment that is nothing but Scripture?
-Social media encourages disagreement and misunderstanding.
-It's almost impossible to communicate with other humans... unless we can find common ground in Christ.
-We don't often treat people on social media with the same grace we give our loved ones in real life.
-John is defensive about being defensive.
-Plus MORE!
Bottom line: maybe we should stay in our lane by focusing on helping people find the humor in their life and choose joy.
Send your Scripture references to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, consider supporting John Branyan Comedy by becoming a member of the Comedy Clique! (Details at johnbranyan.com)
]]>But let's remember: people are not just physical creatures. We have minds and souls as well.
Later: Would you criticize a fat person at the gym? It's hard to wait for God to reveal the same things to other people that He has revealed to you...
Then: Are we encroaching on Relativism over here??? Or are we simply realizing a Truth about the "living and active" nature of Scripture?
Finally: Ecclesiastes seems really depressing... But, with the right perspective, it's actually encouraging. "NOTHING MATTERS--EVERYTHING IS MEANINGLESS!" It reminds us of John's saying, "Life is a joke."
Reach out to us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in October! (Details at flfnetwork.com) Tune in to the Starving Comic's Quarantine Show on the John Branyan YouTube channel!
]]>Hang on, we have a quick interruption while Collin amazes everyone with his poem-thingy...
Okay--back to the subject. The Peaches is going to be very cautious ("guarded") with her words today. But John wants to lay everything out on the table and tell you about some interpersonal conflict. Not everyone handles their struggles/crisis by dialoging with their Christian family and processing things. But that's how WE roll.
There are some problems at church because many people aren't comfortable with open communication.
Join us at the table. Let's say true things.
]]>Either way, let's talk about why John keeps posting about Modesty on social media and triggering the "bossy" Feminists...
We don't live in a Patriarchy anymore. So, when you discover certain words/topics you're not allowed to say, it's not a bad idea to keep your finger on that nerve.
Our culture keeps telling women to "be themselves," but what does that even mean?
Next: the Peaches has some very good news! More and more Christians are becoming as grumpy and cynical as she is! Hooray! There seems to be a shift among our brothers and sisters, as if the bulk of the Church now has almost as much experience dealing with trolls on social media as we did 10 years ago!...
Also: if you want to help the Feminists kill John using an obscure Medieval torture device, then B.Y.O.E.
Finally: how should we react when those few (but loud) non-believers show up to spout foolishness? Do we respond at all? Here's a quick reminder about Bully Management 101.
If you enjoy being part of the conversation, consider also being part of the Clique! Visit Johnbranyan.com to support more John Branyan content. Also--if you're not already part of the Fight Laugh Feast network, visit FLFnetwork.com to get plugged in. The FLF Conference is happening in October! Be there or be square.
Now--let's talk about a book by Vishal Mangalwadi called "The Book that Made Your World: How the Bible Created the Soul of Western Civilization."
There is a stark difference between the assumptions of Eastern Mystics and the assumptions of philosopher who have been influenced by the principles in the Bible. Christians believe humans are valuable, because we were created in God's image. And we're also capable of using logic, because God gives us the ability (and even the command) to be reasonable. That changes EVERYTHING.
Listen as we read some quotes about funny things Eastern Philosophers believe to be "enlightenment."
Listen to all the sound of all that knowledge, squeaking and grinding!
Later: Is "individualism" a bad thing? We think most people probably equate "individualism" with "selfishness," but there may be a better way to think about this...
Think about it with us, unless you're trying to transcend all thought. In which case: OMMMMmmmmmmm!
Finally: Please put some clothes on, Ladies.
Contact us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Consider supporting John Branyan Comedy by joining the Comedy Clique! (Details at johnbranyan.com) Join us at the Fight, Laugh, Feast Conference October 6th-8th.
]]>Next: this entire winter has been full of health trials for the Comedian's family. We thought having COVID in December would be the peak. But--no. We just can't shake the sickness around here. This leads us to notice how different individuals tend to struggle with different symptoms more than others.
What's the connection between mind and body when you're suffering with both spiritual and physical symptoms? (Is it related to the different ways we're tempted to sin?)
Let's talk about people who suffer well. Do they get to the point they actually suffer LESS than people who fall into the suffering spiral? Some people suffer greatly with anxiety about being laughed at. John doesn't struggle with this.
Some people want control, and so they stop eating. Other people want control, so they eat too much. What does the Peaches think about this? She doesn't know!
Finally: Our culture is very relativistic. Most people don't know what they're doing or where they're going. Church leaders are torn because they believe they're supposed to offer some sort of direction and hope--but they don't know how.
Support John Branyan Comedy by visiting the website, johnbranyan.com and joining the Comedy Clique. You can email us at nextdoor.johnbranyan.com to be part of the show.
John recently realized there aren't many people in the Church today who are willing to be as bold and confident as Paul. Why is that? Are people afraid to speak the truth?... or do they even know what the truth is in the first place?
Peaches thinks most people struggle with uncertainties/doubts.
Some things aren't worth fighting about... But those aren't really "convictions."
We have been advising people to SHUT UP when they don't know what they're talking about. So, maybe that's why there are so few Pauls. Is it possible to will ourselves to know things? Can we CHOOSE to be more certain?
]]>There are way too many empty words being thrown around.
Do you want some practice thinking and speaking more clearly? Try getting directions from a small child and then translating for him/her.
Speaking of small children talking in childish ways, here's Silas to say a thing we don't totally understand at first!
Three types of Liars:
1. Immature/Ignorant people with limited ability to express themselves.
2. Manipulators who INTENTIONALLY mislead with "word games."
3. Smooth-talkers who want a certain reaction from you.
In order to make a joke, you have to manipulate language and strategically mislead people...but then you reveal the truth with the punch line. Don't leave people in the dark on purpose! And don't say something you KNOW is only half-true, just to get the result you want. And don't do the "compliment sandwich" thing just because a Sales Guy told you to do it.
Say true things.
Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Follow John Branyan on Facebook, Gab, and YouTube. Consider supporting John's comedy by joining the Clique! (Details at johnbranyan.com)
Send us your comments: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Also, consider supporting John Branyan by joining the Comedy Clique. Visit johnbranyan.com for more info.
]]>(* Brief Interuption while John breaks the recorder )
Bottom line: Don't be afraid to fight with a person who's wrong.
Later: Is the Peaches the only one who thought the Babylon Bee's interview with Elon Musk was super awkward and not-that-profound? Why are people fawning over how "articulate" Elon Musk is?... Let's be honest: we are influenced by his riches and fame. Nobody would be quoting him otherwise.
If you like being part of our conversations, visit johnbranyan.com and join the Comedy Clique for more exclusive content! Also tune in for John's LIVE show--The Starving Comics Quarantine Show--every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern on the John Branyan youtube channel.
If you'd like to get in touch with Mitch and Michelle, you can email: eaglescoutmjw@yahoo.com
Follow John Branyan on Gab and Facebook. Also--tune in for the Starving Comics Quarantine Show on John's YouTube channel, every Sunday night at 7:00pm Eastern.
]]>
When the Bible warns against unwholesome talk or filthy language, we don't think it's only talking about 4-letter words. What about carelessly saying "God bless you" when someone sneezes? Or carelessly saying "Amen" in response to a worldly opinion? If you make a habit of speaking without thinking, you might end up praising the name of Lauren Daigle! (You'll just have to listen to the episode to understand that reference, Neighbor Pkarlgh.)
By the way, it's cold today. But it's not as cold as it could be...
Support John's comedy by visiting johnbranyan.com!
Nobody actually thinks being a jerk is a good thing. But, sometimes, comedians say things they don't mean, to help make a point. The Peaches isn't convinced that John made his point very well this time. But, luckily, she was there to help prompt a better dialog in the comment section! (You can follow John Branyan on Facebook, and read the post in question for yourself.)
Next, someone on Telegram thanked us for talking about women's sins and pointing out examples of Feminism taking over the church. He said there aren't any other people (to his knowledge) that are covering this topic as solidly as we do. SO, we've got another example for your consideration today.
Do Christians tend to take a mom's side so completely that they will even call her kids "crazy" when they disagree with her story? That's pretty insulting toward the kids, isn't it?
And, what happens when you try to point out this phenomenon on social media in a thread where a bunch of women are sharing their testimonies of having their adult children turned against them by evil, abusive fathers? Well, if you stand up for the adult children, you will get a bunch of angry-reacts from the moms. This prompts the Peaches to say this: "In America in 2021, the people who are using their ANGER to control their family members are not usually the fathers. They are the moms loudly announcing when Mama Ain't Happy."
Thanks for joining us today! Reach out with your comments and your Christmas Adjectives: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com Follow John Branyan on MeWe and Gab.
]]>Houseguest Episode with Babylon Bee Managing Editor Joel Berry.
]]>There are twice the number of children usually in the background, so please bear with their happy chatter.
On the mics: John, Peaches (Amanda), Megan, and Tabby.
First of all, John's feet smell terrible and Megan had to intervene.
Next, we read an email from a Pkarlgh who wants to know if we've ever caused bridges to be burned in our own family by being too blunt. JUST KIDDING! First John interrupts with a different email about how awesome our podcast is.
Okay, THEN we read the letter asking how we navigate those tricky/sticky subjects when we're interacting with close relationships rather than random internet trolls. Are John and Peaches nicer on the internet or in person? Do we tone down the rhetoric to spare the feelings of our loved ones?
Let's talk about how to build a resilient family that agrees about the fundamentals of truth and boldness!
]]>In this episode: --Huckabee's GORGEOUS greenroom --How Joel landed his dream job --Comedians and childhood trauma --Saturday Night Live's Abortion Clown --Self-Deprecation --Mocking Bad Ideas rather than People --Crossing the line
"If we reach the point where Christians take back this culture for Jesus and the Church is back on top, we'll be back to writing all our jokes about the Church again." --Joel Berry Please check out the Babylon Bee's Guide to Wokeness on Amazon.
]]>
It's another challenging day in Homeschool Land. Shockingly, when you set out to educate your children, it's not all smiling faces and photo ops. Lots of people think they can solve this problem by throwing another trillion dollars at the public school system--to reward the "good teachers" who are trying to get 8-year-olds to stop writing more wrong answers before you've finished erasing the first one…
John thinks there are actually people in the world who WANT to educate their own kids, but the Peaches thinks the word "want" isn't quite accurate. Nobody WANTS to kill their flesh daily.
Only self-sacrificial love will motivate someone to keep marching down the Parenting Path, on really hard days like today.
Cami is making banana pancakes in the background, so please allow for a few important recipe-related interruptions.
Next, apparently some people think we need to water the deserts until they become forests…
Also, someone asks John for his credentials when it comes to "the ability to certify Truth."
Finally, we get around to talking about Christian people who identify as "Empaths," not realizing it's a concept related to the New Age Occult. John didn't even realize how relevant this topic is, despite the Peaches telling him that pretty much every woman on Instagram is bragging about her "Empathic" ability to "feel other people's energy" as soon as they walk into a room.
People who hang around on "trauma support groups" and read books about "surviving narcissists" are absolutely steeped in this spiritual-sounding garbage. They're being told they HAVE to be selfish and protect themselves from abusers, because they are tender-hearted saints while everyone around them is a horrible sinner.
Let us know if you need a shower after this episode, Neighbor! Grab a crystal ball and two candles and follow us to the weird part of the internet.
]]>Eventually, we find our rhythm and dissect the way "Evangelical" leadership has failed to defend itself against Cancel Culture. (Hello, Josh McDowell!) But maybe the falling away of cowardly pastors is a blessing in disguise?…
In this episode, we cover: -AD's massive network of executive staff -Why John's podcast is boring -How Josh McDowell cancelled HIMSELF -Should Christians be FEARED in the culture? -Should parents be FEARED by their children? -Feminism permeates the culture, including churches -How Evangelicals regularly misjudge the cultural moment -Plus, Pkarlgh (our listener) gets a suave new Spanish nickname!
"If Josh McDowell could not stand up to the woke Everything-Is-Racist mob, then maybe it's time for him to step aside. The last think that Evangelicalism needs is ANOTHER person who won't stand up to paganism and evil ideologies. So, he shouldn't have done it; he shouldn't have resigned. But, since he's the type of guy who would resign--good!" --AD Robles
"Evangelicalism has made it an artform of preaching the sermon that does not need to be preached right now…" --AD Robles
Bonus: Why AD is grateful for Transgenders at Hooters.
]]>John published a post about "Peacemaking" this week, and the Peaches wasn't impressed with his delivery. It was a bit rambly and unorganized. Buuuuut, there were some strong points. Here's the private message John received: "I do have to ask, have you become a Facebook troll? Hahaha! It's funny. But you seem to donate your opinions, many of which I also agree. But they are unsolicited. As I am tempted to throw my two-cents into a Facebook thread, I am also reminded that 'blessed are the peacemakers.' Are you helping to keep the peace?" This is a perfectly reasonable question! But, sometimes comedians aren't very nuanced when they have a point to make. There are two issues with this private message. #1. Private messages are like dragging someone out of the townsquare into a dark alley, where there are no witnesses, so you can confront them. #2. The definition of "peacemaking" in the Western church is a bit messed up. Unfortunately, too many people want to jusify their cowardice by calling themselves "peacemakers." But Peacemaking isn't refusing to fight; it's fighting the RIGHT PEOPLE... Send us an email: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com, Thanks for laughing with us, Neighbor!
]]>The Peaches disagrees with both John and the Neighbor who sent us this email.
Many, many, many Tik-Tok, Instagram influencers claim they were raised by parents who didn't LOVE them enough, and it caused them to have low self-esteem. (Their parents were selfish.) So, they think the solution is to LOVE THEMSELVES in ways their parents never did. In other words: they want to become as self-focused and self-absorbed as their parents were. Eventually, the Peaches brings up the Golden Rule, and that's where things start to go off the rails. What happens when people start reading the Bible for OTHERS instead of applying it to themselves?... Well, it doesn't work. (We agree about that.) But John thinks it's possible to take the Golden Rule too far...? Or something?... And then we have to talk about BDSM, so it gets weird. Sorry, Neighbor. We unnecessarily complicated this whole thing. But, bottom line: We think there are parents and teachers out there who selfishly train up children to be THEIR PERSONAL SERVANTS; they are raising kids to be part of a world that revolves around THEM... Finally, the Peaches whirls about whether you can respect an idea or belief that you disagree with. Why is this so hard for people to grasp?!?!?! If you like being part of our kitchen table conversations, you can support The Comedian Next Door by joining the Comedy Clique! (Details at johnbranyan.com)
]]>If you'd like to send us some hate mail, you can contact us here: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
Thanks for laughing with our family, Pkarlgh!
]]>We talk about the way a small minority of offended teachers can control the entire school. Why does the principal allow this to happen? How can Christians stand up to Cancel Culture? And is Chris interested in joining a group of Christian allies who will stand up for him whenever he's attacked by humorless nincompoops?
All this and more in today's HOUSEGUEST episode!
You can find Chris at chrisintheclassroom.com and on Facebook on the "Chris in the Classroom" page.
]]>Here are the bare basics: our culture finds it much easier to identify and call out "toxic masculinity" than to recognize when WOMEN are being toxic. So--today we're talking about sinful female behavior (with examples from social media).
But, before all of that, we share a plan for how to handle our new Serial Scam Caller next time he rings the Comedy Business Phone with a thick Hindi accent…
Please consider supporting John Branyan by joining the Comedy Clique at johnbranyan.com
]]>Today, David gives just a brief description of the baptism ceremony in the German Baptist community--and then we're able to seque nicely into talking about a DIFFERENT kind of fundamentalism which is infecting the culture... That is, Woke Fundamentalism.
David has been a staff member at Campus Crusade for Christ since the mid-80's, and he has an insider's perspective to share regarding the recent criticism of (and subsequent apology from) Josh McDowell. David's testimony may or may not include examples from Cru's internal message boards.
This is an extended episode detailing how a once strong, faithful organization can become infiltrated by unChristian ideas in a relatively short amount of time.
"Here's the important narrative here… if you say that a certain group of people do not have equal opportunity, you cannot then attribute it to something that is true within their culture. You always have to attribute it to [being] because they have been victimized." --David Pendleton
Join us at the table! You can find David's website at anythingcantalk.com Find John at johnbranyan.com
]]>Tune in next Wednesday for our houseguest episode with David Pendleton with some BREAKING CULTURAL NEWS. There’s a scandal related to a respected Christian institution, and you probably aren’t even aware of it, yet. But that’s why you listen to the Comedian Next Door! So you can be “in the know.”
Next, John wants to get to the mail—but he has to suffer the Peaches’ sound effects first. (He was so proud of that Mouth Honk last week, and now, suddenly, it’s a burden...)
Our listener, Pkarlgh, writes to us from Canada using plenty of commas and making several observations about the sad state of our culture. She closes with a question about what to call “healthcare” when it’s being controlled by tyrannical professionals who hold political grudges. We have some suggestions, of course. Later, John has a quote from G.K. Chesterton. But it takes awhile for him to read it because we enlist the help of the Podcast Ninja (Luke) to demonstrate a perfect British accent.
Eventually, John shares the quote: “[Jesus] restrained something… I say it with reverence that there was, in this shattering personality, a thread that must be called shyness. There was something He hid from all men when he went up a mountain to pray. There was something that he covered constantly by abrupt silence or impetuous isolation. There was one thing that was too great for God to show us when He walked upon our earth. And I have sometimes fancied that it was his mirth.”
We don’t want to disagree with the famous Theologian. Buuuuut… we’re not sure why he assumes Jesus wasn’t mirthful. And that’s just the first 15 minutes! We spend the rest of this long-winded episode mildly chastising the Focus on the Family initiative to “Take Your Bible To School.” We propose: take your school to CHURCH and stop trying to sprinkle a little bit of Jesus on top of your secular education…
We have much more to say about godless, Secular Humanist education and the public school system. Join the conversation!
And, if you want to send us your comments and questions, write to: nextdoor@johnbranyan.com!
]]>This reminds John of a new segment idea: Is This a Joke?! As the culture continues to swim in irrationality, there are a lot of things happening that would have been considered unbelievable 20 years ago... For example: Atheist chaplains and women who put their sons in dresses and then complain that they're being bullied... Is this a joke? Related: John is very proud of the new sound he can make with his mouth. Let us know if you're as impressed as he is, by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . Finally, it's mail time! How can we be respectful toward our bodies as temples and have dignity as Christians made in God's image--while we're laughing at everything? It's a good question, Pkarlgh! We should want to be mature...responsible...respectable...and to maintain a human dignity. However--we shouldn't be too preoccupied with being SEEN as very grown up. C.S. Lewis has a great quote about our quest for maturity.
Shout out to Tony and Joseph on the Patriarchy Podcast! They're our network brothers on Fight, Laugh, Feast... Then we spend waaaaaay too long trying to think of a synonym for "frivolous."
Don't forget: A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men. --Roald Dahl The most dignified parts of this podcast have--by far--been the most boring.
And what does Cami's experience on a roller coaster have to do with struggling to be dignified?
Finally, we wrap up with a quick Whirl from the Peaches. Christians have historically been very Libertarian-leaning. (Small government, free markets, etc.) But we don't live in a moral society anymore. We can't value "free choice" at all costs--when our neighbors are "choosing" to kill babies. And we can't value free enterprise at all costs, when pagan corporations are censoring Christian thought… Please consider becoming a member of the John Branyan Comedy Clique by visiting johnbranyan.com. We can't do what we do without you, Neighbor!
]]>We're just getting back from the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, literally minutes before recording, and John is sporting some stylish new Ear Gear. How comfortable are his new headphones?... Well... the Peaches gives the best description she can muster. Hard consonants are funny, Pkarlgh. That's your free advice from the professional today. And speaking of funny words, please wish Collin "good well" on his 8th birthday. Feel free to ask if you can share some of his lollipop or soda. We'll know whether you listened to this episode if you use the special phrase! After we talk about "duck" and "suck," we discover there is another relevant word, used by an angry Feminist when addressing unvaccinated individuals. The Podcast Ninja (Luke) shared his favorite take-away from the Conference: tyranny happens incrementally, through hundreds of tiny compromises. Long story very short, THAT'S why we find our culture suddenly being bullied into compliance by Mama Bears who are PROUD to use emotional manipulation on Facebook. Whoops, pause for a second, Pkarlgh! The Peaches needs to update the official outro, now that the FLF Conference is over. Now what do you think of the new one? (We especially hope you enjoy the contribution from 3-year-old Silas.) Please send any comments or questions to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. Follow the John Branyan channel on YouTube and watch the Starving Comics Quarantine Show LIVE every Sunday night at 7:00pm Eastern. (Comments left during the LIVE stream can be featured in the show!) If you're not a Club Member in the Fight Laugh Feast Network already, what's wrong with you?! Sign up at flfnetwork.com, and you can get caught up on the talks that were given at the conference this weekend!
]]>Later, Rick Warren said the best way to love your neighbor in this era is to wear a mask. John has some thoughts about that. And the Peaches thinks people on both sides of the debate are actually afraid they might be wrong... Thank you to the Fight Laugh Feast Network for hosting us--and thank you to Subsplash for sponsoring the app.
If you can't get enough of the Comedian, you can follow John Branyan on YouTube and Gab. Or, visit johnbranyan.com to become a member of the Comedy Clique and enjoy exclusive content.
See you next time!
]]>Completely unplanned, both John and The Peaches are talking about Parents With Problems. First, a father of two kids is "NOT OKAY" (his words, not ours), because the pandemic is cramping his style. It turns out, he can't really decide whether he wants his kids to go back to public school or he wants to keep them home, safe, where they are driving him crazy.
Then, John reads a post from a mother of a newborn who is also NOT OKAY. (Our words, not hers.) She is afraid the new baby will get sick, so she won't let anyone hold him…including the big brothers and sisters.
The Peaches reads a post she wrote on this subject long before the COVID circus. Excerpt:
"PLEASE, please don't believe the lie that you can prevent tragedies if you refuse to let your babies be kissed or snuggled. Please don't demand that everyone within 20 miles get flu shots, or they will be eaten by Mama Bear. Please don't threaten to rip apart families over a pacifier that didn't get sterilized. And please--please--don't isolate yourself from family and friends out of fear that they'll contaminate your baby. Because… THIS DOESN'T PREVENT TRAGEDY--It'S ACTUALLY A SICKNESS OF ITS OWN."
We would love to hear from you, Pkarlgh! Email us as nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to weigh in. Also, it's not too late to visit with us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, September 9th - 11th. Details at flfnetwork.com.
]]>But, today, we're sharing a portion of our conversation about speaking TRUTH without lacking LOVE. (This is one of Juan's favorite topics.)
"I've given a lot of thought to this Truth and Love debate that we're all having… One of my favorite authors is CS Lewis, and he says the enemy always introduces errors into the world in pairs of opposites…" -Juan DeVevo
Can we think of examples of speaking Truth -without- love? And what do Harriet the Spy and Rosie O'Donnell have to do with this?
Plus: the Peaches tells the DeVevos about a "gender non-binary" Kindergarden teacher who is brainwashing 5-year-olds in a nearby town. While Christians have been agonizing over whether they're loving enough, the culture has been taken over by crazies who have no problem telling your children they can be "LGBT kiddos."
You can see Juan and Melodee on the Casting Crowns Drive-In Tour. Details at castingcrowns.com. Also, become part of John Branyan's Comedy Clique by visiting johnbranyan.com and clicking around until you find a problem with the website and get frustrated and email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com
]]>John is sporting some stylish new tech equipment that you'll just have to imagine.
We have three, separate pieces of mail to read--the most important of which declares THE PEACHES WAS RIGHT about something. But, also, John's comedy could cure generations of insomnia, according to a certain critic. If you think you can do a better job insulting John, then send your attempts to Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. (Keep in mind, the Peaches prefers the "Kill Them With Kindness" approach.) The harder you swing, the more pathetic your attempts to hurt another person are... The Peaches invites you to agree with her! Don't miss our Houseguest episode releasing this Wednesday! We'll have Juan and Melodee DeVevo, of Casting Crowns, to discuss education, culture, and the Kindergarten teacher who identifies as NEITHER "Miss nor Mister." Finally, John reads an article from a non-christian comedian who has noticed the way Cancel Culture is affecting the comedy world. When the author was attacked by the LGBT mob, he received private messages of support, saying he did nothing wrong. But--publicly--nobody defended him. "There are lessons here that go well beyond comedy. While the vast majority of my readers, even the Canadian ones, have never heard of [this Trans Comedian], or the rest of her clique, the examples show...tiny groups of enforcers can poison an entire artistic subculture, despite these enforcers' lack of any real commercial success..." (Full article here: https://quillette.com/2021/08/01/life-as-a-stand-up-comic-can-be-brutal-safe-space-call-out-culture-is-making-it-unbearable/) In other words, a person who's not even a FUNNY COMEDIAN can somehow influence the entire culture.
Never, ever ask a woman or couple if they're planning to have children... Never, ever, ever, ever ask certain questions. The Enforcers have spoken! Being afraid to speak what's on your mind will affect the entire Comedy Industry and the rest of society. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, Neighbor! Join John Branyan's Comedy Clique by visiting johnbranyan.com and becoming a member.
]]>Be careful if you think you want tons of followers on social media! Trust us when we say, climbing to the "next level" of internet popularity isn't what it's cracked up to be.
This leads to a possible opportunity for the Peaches to be in a Whirl about something. (But we're not sure.) (And also, John sounds like his nose is stuffed up.) Eventually, he clears his sinuses enough to read a social media post from a woman who doesn't think her child's father needs to be praised for "simple" things like changing diapers and washing bottles.
Why do some people focus obsessively on how much or how little encouragment is being given to them BY STRANGERS? We spend the majority of the conversation discussing the reasons you shouldn't tear others down to make yourself feel better, nor should you fool yourself into believing that others are happier because their efforts are recognized more than your own.
Finally--does anyone know whether lobsters ACTUALLY step on each others back to get out of buckets? Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to solve this mystery.
Subscribe to the John Branyan channel on YouTube and watch the Starving Comics Quarantine Show LIVE every Sunday evening at 7:00pm Eastern. Become a Comedy Clique member for exclusive content. (Details at johnbranyan.com) And, finally, have your pets spayed and neutered.
Support the Fight Laugh Feast network by becoming a Club Member. Download the Fight Laugh Feast app for easier listening!
]]>You also can meet the Comedian's family at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in September. Club members get a discount on their registration. Click here for more info: https://flfnetwork.com/politics-of-sex-conference/
]]>"To convince people of a new thing, you can give them literature and give them books--you can have thoughtful conversations with them--but the other way of getting through to people is just saying, 'Come and see.' We're humans. We're embodied people, we have to see it sometimes for ourselves..." PLUS, a story about a flat tire AND why Jesse is worried (and also not worried) about artificial intelligence. Jesse is teaching a virtual class called "Education is Warfare: How to Start a School" on the Fight Laugh Feast network. Visit flfnetwork.com for more details. Follow John Branyan on Gab, MeWe, and Facebook. Also, check out his YouTube channel!
]]>All of this is punctuated by Kid Noises and general familial interruptions. What does it mean when comedians talk about "punching up" or "punching down"...and why does John want to attach extra prepositions to the end of those terms?
How have so many Jewish people mastered the art of comedy? Why can't worship leaders laugh at themselves? What are some good insults to use on Tabby? All of this and more! Follow John Branyan on Gab, MeWe, and Facebook. Also: check out his YouTube channel and tune in for the Starving Comics Quarantine Show, every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern. We'll see you at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in September! (Club members will get a discount on registration.)
]]>Then we jump into the Peaches In a Whirl segment because the Peaches truly is in a whirl this week! She even admits it! There are so many examples of people doing and saying dumb things this week that we don't have time to cover them all. People just want to be told pretty lies, and they decide what to believe based on who compliments them. Why are so many people openly admitting they don't care what you think...they only care how you make them feel?
An astounding number of people (who would call themselves Christians) actually have a fundamentally different religion than we do. All the talk about support and encouragement and compassion and love is coming from a worldview that is the OPPOSITE of Christ-centeredness.
Would the Christians you know even recognize the problem with a non-believer saying, "You have restored my faith in humanity!" Or would they accept that as a nice compliment and assume they are doing a good job spreading the Gospel?
Your epistemology matters, Pkarlgh! Don't be dumb!
Join us at the Fight Laugh Feast Conference in September. Club members get a steep discount! (Details at flfnetwork.com) Follow John Branyan on MeWe, Gab, and Facebook...until he gets removed from there...
]]>Nathan explains he wants to help people think on a deeper level--but he's just not great at shaming and attacking people. That's where we can help!
The Peaches invites Nathan to share his background/credentials. But he's not sure he has researched enough, yet. He wants to jump into the conversation and argue IDEAS--but he's waaaaaay too thoughtful to play the role of the Troll.
Welcome to the Comedian's House! You can follow John Branyan on Gab, MeWe, and Facebook (until he gets kicked off). You can watch John LIVE on the Starving Comics Quarantine Show, every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern on his YouTube channel. We'll see you at the Fight, Laugh, Feast Conference, September 9th-11th!
]]>On today's "Good Grief" segment, the Peaches shares a sad/funny story about her Grandma with Alzheimer's. Laughter and pain are inextricably connected! Can we hold both of those feelings at the same time?
Next--the Peaches is in a whirl about a village in Africa which is supposedly functioning as a "Matriarchal Society." Western women want to smash the Patriarchy.... but would that really look any different than what we currently have in the United States? If Hilary Clinton wants to hand out made-up awards to women who are getting pregnant and intentionally raising their children without fathers, she could start a little closer to home!
Finally, we talk about sandwiches and frozen lasagnas and recapping some of the Facebook drama John dredged up during Pride month. (Sometimes people are Internet Trolls by accident, and we give you a handy trick to figure out whether you're dealing with a Troll or with a person who genuinely wants a conversation.)
If you don't want the answer to the question, Pkarlgh, don't ask it...
Follow The Comedian Next Door on Gab and MeWe. Visit johnbranyan.com and JOIN THE COMEDY CLIQUE to be part of our telegram group and interrupt our podcast recordings with funny pictures of food that looks like a creature from Alien. Also: register for the Fight Laugh Feast conference on flfnetwork.com. See you there!
]]>Sign up for John's comedy workshop at Fight Laugh Feast University! It's called "Life is Hardy Har-Hard." Click here: https://flfnetwork.com/product/life-is-hardy-har-hard-a-comedy-workshop-for-christians/
The Peaches writes these descriptions. Aren't they interesting? Watch the Butter Video by clicking this link: I Just Need Butter It's hysterical. Click it!
Later, we explore the role of the Straight Man. Groaning and eye-rolling is a legitimate part of the Comedy Team, Neighbor! And then the Peaches is in a Whirl about the manipulation behind phrases like "I'm not going to debate" or "I'm not trying to change your mind." DON'T FALL FOR IT, NEIGHBOR! THEY ARE LYING POLITELY, and they definitely ARE trying to change your mind! Don't be a naive girl at a college frat party!
Bottom line: we want to be friends with people who laugh. Let's learn how to do that more often! Make sure you register for the Fight Laugh Feast Conference, taking place in Tennessee this September. The Comedian Next Door and the Peaches will see you there!
]]>We mention Patrick Mahoney's ministry completely by mistake in this episode. (Turns out he isn't the quarterback for the Greenbay Packers.) But maybe God brought him to mind for a reason! Here's a link if you'd like to support Colegio Biblico: colegiobiblico.net They provide Christian education to pastors and missionaries serving Spanish-speaking countries.
Follow The Comedian Next Door on Gab, Watch the Starving Comics Quarantine Show every Sunday at 7:00pm Eastern on the John Branyan Youtube channel.
Visit johnbranyan.com and join the Comedy Clique!
]]>If you enjoy hanging out and playing silly games with our family, join us in August for Vacay with Comics. Details at johnbranyan.com. Email your questions/comments for John and Peaches to nextdoor@johnbranyan.com Subscribe to the John Branyan channel on YouTube; watch the Starving Comics Quarantine Show LIVE every Sunday at 7:00pm EST. Become a Fight Laugh Feast club member for exclusive content.
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