but I also was planning on updating my site eventually, maybe this is the nudge I needed.
nothing to see here
on my updated website
just boomer musings
#haiku
I explain it like this: you know when you get home from work and you realize you don’t remember the entire drive? that’s what maladaptive daydreaming is like, but all day long. it’s like radio interference where another channel starts to bleed into the one you’re trying to listen to.
the solution is to do “be here now” exercises. are there clouds in the sky? what color are my socks? some phone apps help, like the bird song app. you have to be totally quiet while you hold your phone out, trying to capture the sound of a bird in order to identify it. and for me, taking photos of what I am experiencing brings me back to the present.
it’s often linked to pain and suffering. a method of escape. almost a form of meditation.
luckily I have the artistic ability and the finances to bring some of my inner visions to actuality. I had walked through my finished addition before construction had even started. when I start to draw something, it already exists on the page. it’s like I’m seeing into the future.
it does make me feel like I’m missing some parts of my life, like a david byrne song, how did I get here? and the yucky part is that it’s considered to be the mild first step toward multiple personality disorder now called dissociative identity disorder. I get it. if I don’t tether myself to this moment, I will split apart.
how to help someone who does it? talk about this moment. invite me to feel your new shirt, ask about how I like the shoes I’m wearing, play word games or think of puns. when you’re watching a movie, pause it to look up the actors and other movies they have been in.
I used to slip into my daydreams more than I do now. I was worried I would do it while driving. but I’m getting better at staying in the moment, catching myself before I drift away. be here now.
]]>• small altoids tin with a gum eraser and pencil sharpener
• magnets
• clips
• white out tool
• bandana
• paper scraps
• small boxes
• light control
• shirt color
• your phone camera
• eyeglasses case
and my other idea is about doubt as an artist, whether it’s helpful, how to identify it, how to deal with it. I want to use this video to practice using my video editing software.
]]>let’s see if I can recreate my post somewhat
what I have been working on:
• right now gardening > art
• therapy to quiet the inner critic’s sabotage
• moving back into my art studio
what I want to work on next:
• large series of floral abstracts
• scan images from sketchbooks for posters? cards?
• update website (goes hand-in-hand with previous task)
• mastery of color, composition, and value
• find a way to include my sense of humor in my work
• more writing
what I want to post on youtube:
• more thoughts about psyche vs artist
• tips and tricks and reviews
• process videos and flip-throughs
what I want to write about:
• things I have learned about myself
• lists like this because it’s fun to write
This isn’t an essay about AA, just to be clear. But this conversation made me think about how vague being an artist is. And how my waypoints might not be the same as someone else’s. If you’re just freewheeling and being an artist on your own, how do you set goals, and how do you know you have completed the goals, and is moving forward really the goal? Do you really go from A to B to C and so on? Or are you move like a big blob, just oozing and spreading and constantly moving? Does the student in you wish for a syllabus, a midterm, and a final–with grades?
For example, here are some things that might mean you are progressing and succeeding as an artist. You could be all, some, one, none, and to varying degrees:
People buy your art
People ask if they can buy your art but you’re not ready yet
You have sold one thing once for a lot of money
You have fans/followers
You teach it
There was an article about you
You write about art
You do art challenges, and you complete them
You launch challenges, and others participate
You are invited to art related things
Other artists have heard of you
Your art was in a show
Your art was in a solo show
Everything inspires you to do art
You lose track of time when you do art
You know the lingo
You have a dedicated art space & garb
Your art has been stolen online
You have a set of colors that are “you”
People come to you to talk about art
People ask you to critique their art
Art is all you can think about
You can see progress over time
You have arranged your life so you have more time for art
You feel excited and at-home in an art store
You always carry art supplies with you
People can tell you’re an artist by the way you look
You know how to pronounce “quinacridone”
How do you define success as an artist? What are your gold stars?
Art from 1900-1960 roughly, when fine artists were diverging and designing poster art, and illustrating books. Could we call it fusion? When art came off the salon wall, but before we split off into having to decide whether you were a graphic designer or a fine artist. That period of time in there when Lautrec and Mucha were making posters and anonymous artists were illustrating catalogs and maps, and up to the mid-century when Warhol was doing the soup can silkscreens and Basquiat was writing cryptic notes on his drawings, inspired by a book of medical illustrations that his mother gave him when he was sick in bed.
I actually prefer looking at a poster than a painting. I love text on or with a painting. I love phrenology diagrams, and “maps of” this or that. The idea that THIS PIECE OF ART MIGHT INSPIRE YOU TO —- (buy, sell, change, be better, think, feel something, etc.)
Aside: the subcategory of art that I loathe is when it is patronizing. You are a dumb ignorant viewer and you need to be taught this thing. By me. And by looking at my art, you are being forced to see my point. ughhhhhh. Don’t tell me what to think.
Since 2019 I’ve been working on my skill level and comfort level with paints. Drawing has been my comfort zone, and I’ve been working to bring painting into my comfort zone. Happy to report that I reach for paints now with the same confidence and eagerness I have with drawing materials. I feel like I’m finally ready for my next step.
My next step is to work on ideas and inspiration. Based on my love for merged media of diagrams and posters as described above, I want to work on artistic infographics. I will break down smaller goals over the next few months. Here is a brainstormed list to start from:
phrenology
diagrams with arrows
recipes
gouache or watercolor with drawing on top
coloring books
lettering practice
poster design
disassociation explainer
charts and graphs
breakdowns
tell a story
explain an idea
things I think are funny
portraits of villains and heroes
fan art
fashion
paint music
Today I am inspired by
Maria Herreros, the way she draws over paint,
David Shillinglaw, whose pieces remind me of infographics, and
Brandon Campbell, who draws as if painting.
I painted this watercolor using only orange and blue. I’m going to work on my color choices in feb.
