We inherently trust people who know what they are doing. Trust involves expertise, knowledge, and experience. If you want to embrace trusted leadership, set your sights on becoming an expert in your field or industry – that’s who people want to listen to. To gain the trust of others, leaders must be competent and confident in their roles and communicate those attributes clearly to the people they work alongside.
When I taught my teenage daughter how to drive, I anxiously pressed down on an imaginary brake pad in the passenger seat. Did I mention we hadn’t yet left the garage? She yelled, “You don’t trust me!” And I said, “I do trust you as a person, but I don’t trust you to drive the car yet because that’s what you’re learning to do.” There is a direct link between competence and trust, and it can take time to gain all the skills needed to have the right stuff or expertise in your field. Sometimes, leaders must embrace growth in some areas to strengthen their capabilities through learning.
Having the right stuff doesn’t mean that leaders always have the exact correct answer or are done learning and growing. As the world changes, so do our levels of expertise. We can always build upon our competencies; one way we do this is by practicing humility. When faced with a new topic or endeavor or we have questions, it’s essential to ask them, listen, and be open to growth. A mark of a trusted leader is knowing they can handle whatever is ahead, even if it means gathering new information and data and asking questions to yield more significant support. This constant need for learning and self-reflection keeps leaders on the path of personal growth and development.
Organizations rely on leaders who are not just knowledgeable and competent but also those who foster trust, build morale, and motivate colleagues to do their best. They are agents of change. These leaders communicate with various personalities and create new channels of collaboration. Successful leaders can make leadership look effortless, but usually, it’s anything but. It takes countless time and energy to hone their leadership skills, from managing conflict and performance issues to building teams. They lead with their principles, promote well-being, inspire their colleagues, and are responsible for advancing the best interests of their organization. This leadership style requires a skill set encompassing self-awareness, knowledge, mindfulness, leadership strategies, social intelligence, competence, and courage. By emphasizing the role of leaders in fostering trust and motivating colleagues, we empower our audience to take up the mantle of leadership and make a difference in their organizations.
]]>So, how do leaders build reciprocity in the workplace? First, by getting to know and understand their employees. Listen to what is important to them, excites them, and what their dreams consist of. Secondly, by helping them improve their performance, identifying ways to grow, and challenging them with new opportunities. We let people know we care about them and look out for their best interests when we share our expertise, insights, and advice about what they can do differently to achieve their goals and dreams. Finally, leaders build reciprocity by inspiring their employees to achieve their goals and perhaps even more. Focus on their strengths and accomplishments. Be a mentor that helps them see their greatness. Share your story of struggles you got through and thrived despite obstacles and setbacks. Create hope.
However, it’s important to respect individual choices. If an employee is content in their current role and doesn’t aspire to a change, it’s crucial to avoid judging or pressuring them. Instead, support them in their present position and be there for them if they decide to explore new directions in the future. This understanding and empathy are key to fostering a culture of reciprocity and trust.
Reciprocity builds trust and is predictable. When we become aware of what we inspire in others, we can use this to positively influence our employees and ourselves.
]]>Over the last few weeks, we’ve discussed the seven characteristics of trusted leadership. So far, we’ve covered honesty, social intelligence, and courage. Today, we will explore the next characteristic: self-reflection.
Being self-reflective means being able to step back and see ourselves in action. It’s the ability to know our strengths and shortcomings and accept both equally, knowing that we have the power to self-assess and self-correct. Recognizing our strengths, quirks, and personal struggles signifies our security. When we practice self-reflection, we don’t have to hide from our flaws, be defensive, or overprotect ourselves from the criticism of others.
However, self-reflection can still be challenging and complex because we may feel defensive or anxious about what may arise. I recommend engaging in self-reflection when you have time to get settled and feel comfortable first. For some, this might mean deep breathing, stretching, walking, or doing another relaxing exercise beforehand. Remind yourself that self-reflection aims not to judge yourself harshly but to get to know yourself better.
Self-reflection can take many forms, but a practical way to start is by focusing on a specific situation or relationship you want to understand better or improve. Begin by asking yourself gentle questions about your beliefs, emotions, and thoughts related to the situation. Approach this exercise as if you’re gathering data, not judging or criticizing. With time, this practice will help you become aware of your habitual or unconscious behaviors.
When we adopt a reflective mindset, we open ourselves to learning and become curious about ourselves and others. By practicing self-reflection, we enhance our self-awareness. This openness and self-awareness attract others to share ideas and collaborate as they sense our genuine interest in them. We become less defensive and can reflect on their interactions in a way that adds value, fostering stronger relationships.
Ultimately, self-reflection supports trusted leadership. If we can self-reflect, self-assess, and self-correct, others see us as more confident and effective. We see the big picture, adapt, and make the right changes to get back on track. We become more aware of why we do what we do. That inspires others and reinforces their confidence in us. Being self-reflective while practicing compassion toward yourself can only increase your value as a trusted leader.
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose” Dolly Parton.
]]>Courage is the nucleus of our decision-making, actions, words, and beliefs. The Latin root of courage means “heart,” which is the home of our deepest feelings and inner strengths. Without it, we fail to live up to what we know is right. But when we align with courage and our hearts, we are true to ourselves.
When I reflect on courage, I recall the words of Maya Angelou, who said, “Courage is the most important of all the virtues because, without courage, you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”
In line with the other characteristics of trusted leadership, courage starts with you. It begins with an honest self-inventory and by practicing self-compassion and focus. Genuine self-reflection requires courage and compassion because looking at our shortcomings is challenging. Yet, when we reflect on our struggles and take accountability if we miss the mark, we can learn from our mistakes and improve.
A young leader recently told me he tends to tiptoe around problems. He said, “Sometimes I’m too accommodating. I might see an employee not performing up to our standards, but I look the other way.” When I asked what stopped him from addressing a problem, he said, “I hate to admit this, but I’m afraid that if I’m assertive, people won’t like me.” His voice dropped when he added, “Just saying that gives me a knot in my stomach. I guess that means this is something I must deal with.” That leader dared to face their dilemma, talk about it, reflect on why it was challenging, and develop a plan to become more direct and effective even when it risked being disliked.
Leaders have to make difficult choices every day. They have to carve a path that may be unpopular. They have to inspire people to achieve more than they realized they could accomplish. They need to face conflicts head-on. They must create the future, go into the unknown, seize opportunities, lead difficult conversations, move the organization forward, collaborate, and inspire others to follow them. They can’t do that without courage. But being courageous is not always easy.
Each time we do the right thing and let our courage lead the way, we become stronger, more balanced, and more precise about ourselves and our goals. We become leaders our colleagues want to follow.
“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.”
― William Faulkner
]]>Our last blog covered the first characteristic of trusted leaders: honesty. We discussed how transparency is the foundation for trusting yourself and others. Today, we’ll cover the second characteristic, social intelligence. Understanding the different layers of social intelligence is vital to understanding trusted leadership.
We already know that trust is built on honesty and our interactions with others. This means how we relate to them, communicate with them, listen to what they are saying, and empathize with them. Social intelligence, the second characteristic of trusted leaders, is the key to balancing these aspects. Along with actively assessing other people’s emotions to understand how we can connect to them in a meaningful and authentic way, developing this skill can lead to more effective leadership and stronger relationships.
Social intelligence involves many factors, including gauging dynamic situations, complex emotions, and subtle and sometimes unspoken language. Trusted leaders who are socially intelligent read the moods of other people, assessing their motives and mental state. It encompasses both a broad social understanding and relationship management.
Accurately reading a room in a social setting is one piece of the puzzle. The other is the ability to respond to what you perceive in a way that benefits everyone. A trusted leader will guide what’s happening socially in a way that resolves and reduces conflict and creates mutually beneficial and productive relationships.
Attributes of Leaders with Social Intelligence
Trusted leaders demonstrate their social intelligence in various ways. They use it to find rare bridges of connection, to use humor to break up tension, and to be patient and dependable. By promoting safe environments, praising others, handling constructive feedback with grace, and keeping others’ best interests at heart, they create a positive work environment where everyone feels valued and motivated.
In our next blog, we will explore the characteristics of trusted leaders: expertise. Before moving on, you might want to reflect on what stood out to you the most about social intelligence and consider any new ways you may implement it in your workplace.
]]>Trust, a vital element in any thriving workplace, is the cornerstone of effective leadership. It empowers leaders to manage and motivate their teams, foster a dynamic of health and flexibility, and encourage safety and innovation. When trust forms the bedrock of organizations and leaders, tasks are accomplished with reduced stress, and employees are emboldened to communicate honestly and take calculated risks.
In the following series of blogs, we will examine the seven characteristics of trusted leaders and how they foster trust in others. Leaders lay the groundwork to build and sustain trust within a workplace. In a high-trust environment, leaders promote flexibility, teamwork, and innovation.
Honesty
Honesty is the baseline for all trust within us and others. Trusted leaders embody transparency and, in doing so, promote it in others. What does it mean to embrace honesty in the workplace? It means having open conversations and sharing information truthfully with your team. People want to know where they are headed and why. If employees are kept in the dark about something, they will typically pick up on the feeling of secrecy, and trust will erode over time. Be clear with others, whether it’s about the direction the team is moving in, providing necessary feedback, or sharing ways employee performance is tracked.
Trusted leaders embrace honesty by honoring confidentiality, aligning their values and actions, being reliable, and taking accountability for their decisions and missteps. When a person asks, can I trust this person, the first evidence they look for is honesty.
Transparency and trust are essential to successful leaders and organizations, yet these values require vulnerability. Giving away trust or deciding who to trust is a powerful decision, and it can be scary. To be vulnerable requires us to lean into uncertainty. Every leader needs to do it, even if it means letting some of their control go. Leaders need people they can depend on, delegate to, and feel confident in.
There are many spaces in the world where it’s not safe for people to be vulnerable or to trust others. Trusted leaders help create organizations where it is safe for people to take their armor off and be vulnerable while feeling secure. Honesty and vulnerability go hand in hand, and they pave the way for trust.
Our next blog will focus on the next characteristic of trusted leaders: social intelligence. In the meantime, take some time to reflect on honesty and vulnerability. Are there ways you or your organization reward or require people to keep their armor on? Are there times when people can open up and let their guard down? In what small ways can you practice honesty and vulnerability in your workplace?
]]>We are going through monumental social, economic, and technological changes. Many of us are stressed because we’re living in a time of significant uncertainty and what I call the Great Transition. We have inflation, war in Europe, changing interest rates, wellness and work-life balance, hybrid work models, AI, global economies, diversity, and mergers. Not to mention we’re also in the midst of the cultural transition from Boomers and Gen Xers to Millennials and Zs.
In every organization today we have what I call The Six R’s. These are areas of change within organizations that need constant but flexible support and tending to.
The Six R’s
It can be challenging to move through transitions and times of not knowing. The more we can trust in others, the bigger our tolerance for ambiguity is. This is important because even though change can be uncomfortable, it is often a necessary component for growth and advancement. It’s more comfortable to stay in the same rhythm or routine because it’s known and familiar, not because it’s productive or supportive.
Trust in your personal and business relationships is critical in times of great transitions. When the world is ambiguous, we want to know who we can rely on and who we trust. That gives us something to hold onto to steady ourselves in a fast-paced changing landscape. Increased trust within an organization usually comes with increased accountability, cooperation, transparency, and a strong moral compass on every level of the system.
In our next blog, we will take a deeper look at how we measure trust and practice authenticity by embracing our trusted selves.
]]>The level of trust you have in someone can easily change. Based on what we experience from day to day. We trust one another depending on what happens in the relationship and how you conduct yourself. It’s strengthened and deepened when you do the right things.
If it’s lost it’s tough to rebuild. It takes commitment, effort, and time to earn it back. Give them the time they need. In some cases, it can’t be rebuilt.
Low trust: Some people have low trust. We may never know why. Keep in mind the following:
When we trust another person, we make ourselves vulnerable, which is a risk. If a colleague agrees to help with a project, you trust that they will follow through. Successful organizations, teams of coworkers, and society at large all need trust, to a degree, to be successful. We can’t play every role on a team and expect to show up the next day with the same level of energy and we can’t control every aspect of a project or environment just because we aren’t willing to trust.
The dynamics of trust may be complex but typically, trustworthy people have good intentions, they follow through on their word, they are good listeners, and they are often clear about their decisions, actions, and motivations.
In the following blog, we will talk about why trust is especially crucial in ambiguous times.
]]>In this next blog series, we take a deeper look at trust – why it matters, when it’s crucial, and how to recognize and measure it. Trust is at the heart of any successful relationship and the cornerstone where healthy relationships take root, flourish, and grow. Trust creates meaning in relationships and is mutually beneficial for all who practice it.
Trusting relationships are not only more effective but they also manifest a sense of security which can help people to feel better about themselves and their work. When a workplace is a high-trust environment, people are naturally happier and have fewer turnovers. With trust, people have the advantage of needing to worry less about their protection and survival. That provides the freedom to expand professionally and personally in new ways.
In a trusting relationship, we feel relaxed and free to express our thoughts, feelings, opinions, dreams, creative ideas, and beliefs and not be judged. We’re open, comfortable, confident, and safe. When customers trust you, they can receive useful ideas and they’re more accepting of your guidance, services, products, and support and more willing to take healthy risks.
When we talk about the value of trust, we can turn to the Three C’s for a clear definition:
You probably spend a lot of time figuring out other people — your manager, customers, and your colleagues. If you want to be a trusted advisor, start with who you are as a person. Take time to self-assess, self-reflect, and get to know yourself on a deeper level. You might start by asking yourself the following questions:
In our next blog, we’ll discuss the characteristics of trust and what it takes to build it.
• Take media breaks: Make space and time in your life away from consuming the news, media, and even social media. When we observe trauma or stressful events, our mirror neurons cause our brains to believe we are participating directly in the event. We don’t realize this when it’s happening, but it can wreak havoc on our mental health if we don’t take regular breaks. Sometimes people prefer only to watch the news on certain days of the week. Find your balance with consuming media so that you feel informed but not overburdened by it.
• Connect with others: Call, video message, or take a walk with your friends and family. Share your concerns with others you trust. In this socially distant reality, it’s more important than ever to help grow your valued relationships and share your experiences, thoughts, and emotions. If you have tried this and feel you aren’t getting the responses or results you need, it could be beneficial to talk to a professional therapist.
• Nurture your body and spirit: Eat a well-balanced diet, practice healthy sleep habits and exercise. Take time every day to stretch, practice deep breathing, pray or meditate, and to drink enough water. Be mindful of your alcohol and substance intake.
• Set yourself up for success: We all have areas of our lives that can feel sluggish. Whether it’s getting back in the habit of eating well or exercising, it can be tough to come out of a slump. To help, make small goals to set yourself up for success. Instead of making drastic changes all at once, focus on something simple at first. For example, instead of running five miles when you haven’t even jogged up your stairs for two weeks, try running one mile instead. This way, you can feel good about hitting your goal and will feel excited about continuing your progress down the road.
• Make time for humor: Laughter always helps us to calm our minds and feel better on a physical and emotional level. Please don’t underestimate the power of humor. Use it to inspire and motivate yourself and those around you.
• Take stock of your accomplishments: This is a time to think about what you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of. When we’re overly stressed it’s easy to forget what we’ve achieved and get lost thinking about losses. Practice gratitude. Take a few minutes every day to note three things you’re grateful for. Don’t give up on using your standard stress busters. They may not get the same results they do in better times but they’re still a crucial resource to tap into. Don’t be hard on yourself if they don’t ease all of your tension.
• Go off in a new direction: If you’re struggling to get motivated it may be tough to pull this one off. Test out a new idea of how to cope. Be bold. We’re in a new world so why not try something completely different to reduce your stress? Be an explorer. Use your creativity to challenge and surprise yourself. If it doesn’t work it’s not the end of the world. It’s an experiment. Remember not to expect perfection. You’re on a new learning curve so give yourself some slack or you’ll end up stamping out the joys of learning something new.
• Share what works for you: Be charitable. Think about how you can share with others the personal problems you’ve had to sort through and what’s worked to get ahead of your stress. Maybe you were feeling crabby with your partner or your kids or homeschooling was driving you nuts or you just wanted an hour to yourself and everyone’s at home and seems to want something from you. How did you turn things around?
• Remember that it’s better to give than receive: Feel free to email me what works for you to reduce your stress and I’d be happy to share your ideas to help others while respecting your anonymity.