What Makes BENCHMARK a Unique Ministry

There are a few things about BENCHMARK that I think make it a unique ministry. The first thing that BENCHMARK does that’s different than most everyone else out there is they create separation from the world. Going on a BENCHMARK adventure means leaving the safety of your comfort zone and stepping into the unknown. This isn’t just a faith statement; it’s also a physical one. Typically, whenever I take soldiers on a trip, we drive four or five hours away from the space we are used to, away from the comfort of the normalcy, and that’s a transformational thing for us. In the military, we are extremely stratified and hierarchical. There are roles and ranks, positions and titles, and they all matter. But when we leave this world behind, whenever we take the time to drive out to a place along the river or the side of the mountain, or camping somewhere on a trail, those things are left behind and we’re able to see people for people. Would it be cheaper, more convenient, more comfortable to host an event right next to the base? 100%. I would get to go home and sleep in my comfy bed every night. But, that’s not what we’re trying to do. That’s not how we’re trying to reach these Soldiers. Instead, BENCHMARK does this beautiful thing of creating separation; separating yourself from the world so that you have time to think.

Number two: it forms a community that lasts. On these adventures people begin to form relationships. And not just because who they are or where they are in the status of the military, but they begin to see each other. They begin to talk to each other. They begin to have actual conversations with each other. They aren’t distracted by the artificial aspects of the world. They can slow down and they can take a deep breath. They can take in the fresh air. They can experience nature. They can know that God is right there with them. For many of these Soldiers that go on these trips with BENCHMARK, they are forming core memories. Their lives were on one trajectory and now they are changed because of the community that they are now a part of. Being able to do something difficult and hard with a team forms bonds and that leads us to building relationships and community. We now have a clear pathway for ministry, to understand there’s more going on than what you can see. One of these young men that went on a trip with me, I’ll call him Jason, he had been struggling. Things in the Army were not going well for Him. He had lost his best friend to suicide and he had recently been hospitalized himself for trying to do the same thing. He had nowhere to turn and he signed up for one of our trips. So, Jason joined us and he had a great time. His life was changed. But it wasn’t until we got back home into our normal work routine that he walked into my office and said, “Do you have a minute to talk?” And it’s never just a minute, it’s usually an hour but, yes, I always have a minute for you, and he tells me all the things that I just told you that I had no clue about. I didn’t know that he had lost his best friend. I didn’t know that he had tried to do that himself, but I knew that he needed something. When he signed up to come, I started praying for him, “Lord, work on him, work on his life. Show yourself to him.” I can tell you that Jason is still alive. He is thriving. He is doing well. He sat down and he opened up about his struggles, his fears, his anxiety towards the future, and he said it was on this BENCHMARK trip that he turned the corner. His life wasn’t fully restored overnight, he still had struggles. Since going on the trip, he felt like there were people that he could call and that he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t alone because a simple trip to the mountains allowed him to disconnect from the world and allowed him to build a community that lifts him up in the hardest times. That’s the power of BENCHMARK on young men and women. 

Finally, and I think most importantly, BENCHMARK shows Jesus to many who’ve never experienced him in a real and tangible way. For Soldiers, brokenness is the norm. Some have a relationship with Christ, but most are seeking something meaningful out in the world. They’re trying to find out who they are and where they fit in. I love the fact that BENCHMARK doesn’t hide that it’s a Jesus-centered-ministry, apparently led by a hardheaded, imperfect follower of Jesus Christ. Those are his words, not mine. There is life-transforming power whenever we hear the words of the gospel. There’s power in our testimonies. Whenever we create the space and we form the community and we share the gospel, lives are changed. So, it’s powerful when we separate from the world. It’s powerful whenever we put people around each other to where you sprinkle in a few Christians and you give them enough comfort to proclaim their faith, and they share their faith with their peers. Not only do we have a five-hour van ride there, but we also now have a five-hour van ride back. And this community that we formed out on the river or out on the cliff or the snow slopes, now gets to incubate and form and grow closer together as we drive back and we go back into our world. There’s something different about each and every one of these people. The Lord has reached down and, in a moment of time, touched them. They might not even know what it is. They might not have a name for it yet. They might not understand church or Christ or Christianity, but a seed is planted and the joyous thing that I get to do as a Chaplain is to go alongside and water that seed and I get to pull the weeds away from it, and I get to make sure that there’s light shining on it, and for that I’m so thankful. 

We Can’t Do It Alone

Moving forward is about embracing the new things God is doing in our midst. If we don’t embrace change and what God is doing, He’ll be patient for a while, but the sooner we get on board, the better we are. We read in Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV) “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Think about that for a moment. A way in the wilderness. Rivers in the desert. These verses speak of God’s constant renewal and provision, even in challenging circumstances. 

And to really appreciate what’s being said here, when this part of Isaiah was written, the people of Israel were in exile in Babylon. Their homeland had been destroyed, the temple leveled, and hope seemed distant. They were living with the weight of what had been lost and wondering if they’d ever see restoration. So when God speaks through Isaiah and says “forget the former things” and “I’m doing a new thing,” this wasn’t just poetic encouragement, it was a radical promise. God was telling a broken displaced people that he hadn’t forgotten them. That he was already at work preparing something brand new. A path through the wilderness, rivers in a desert, life where it seemed impossible. 

Sometimes we forget but the same thing is happening today. It’s happening for you, it’s happening for me. Those around us, the communities that are broken, the communities that don’t think they have anything wrong, it’s happening to all of us. We have a God who shows up in dry seasons. And in the wet ones, too. A God who still makes a way forward when everything around us seems uncertain. 

So, all people, which includes you and me, but specifically in my context, soldiers, often find themselves navigating their own wildernesses, facing their own deserts. And soldiers are human so we go through the same things you go through, right, but there’s a few other things that come through my mind that might be slightly different than you may face, which are pressures of deployment. And in the type of unit I’m in, we face no-notice deployments as well. You thought you were going to be having your daughter’s birthday celebration, and now you’re not. The strain on families, the invisible wounds of war – there are a lot of people suffering spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and they’ll be doing it for a long time, but it’s really hard to quantify that. 

I have been in the Army 23 years. I’ve unfortunately witnessed a lot of struggle. Lots of combat trauma and death. As a pilot, I’ve lost a lot of people. As a chaplain, I’ve lost a lot of people. We’ve lost people to training. Just this last year, we had a helicopter crash and 5 of our people died. Suicide, relationship issues, financial issues, lots of things. When people are in need, in addition to the help that they’re going to need, they need us to first listen and then identify what the challenge is that they’re facing, but then after that – what is it within themselves, what is it that they use to cling to hope, to cling to life. One of the biggest protective factors, research shows and that I have seen in my own life, is that sense of belonging – that you belong to something bigger than yourself. Even the strongest among us here, we need strength, we need encouragement, we can’t do it alone. 

What I’ve noticed is, BENCHMARK has helped connect us with each other, on a deeper level, fostering genuine relationships and a sense of belonging. In most units, you’re together for about 3 years and then you move on. In my particular unit, the soldiers can be together for 15 years. At nearly every BENCHMARK event, a soldier would realize that they have been working with someone in the same building for years and didn’t know them; the training event created connectedness from which they returned to work stronger. They get to truly be known by somebody else in their own battalion. 

The greatest thing on this side of heaven is to be known. When we are known by another, we feel loved, we feel heard, we feel understood, we feel like we’re important, we belong. May we all continue to move forward in His power, working together to refocus on His glory.

It is such an honor to be used by God. 

This was the second year that I’ve had the honor to be used by God to serve through BENCHMARK’s Appalachian Trail Outreach. This year was very special for me in that one man really touched my life. The second to the last day that we were there a man wandered into camp that was obviously not equipped for the Appalachian Trail. We fed him that evening and he stayed with us that night and the next morning for breakfast. He still hung around while we tore down camp, helped us tear it down, and stayed for the closing prayer. He shared with me later that in watching us serve the hikers for 2 days and knowing that we had come from many different states just to serve and then listening to each of us pray at the closing, he witnessed extreme sacrificial giving to our Lord through helping others.

When we were packed up and ready to go, I mentioned that there was one more hiker on the trail that I was a little concerned about and that I was going to hike up the trail to find him and this man asked if he could come with. I said sure. Well we did find that hiker who needed a ride out so I was able to give that person a ride back to his truck. Then I asked this man what his plans were and he asked me if I could give him a ride into town to make a phone call. I agreed to. It was a ways away and we had time to talk.

I knew that something was deeply troubling this man. And I found out through the conversation that his intention was to disappear into the woods and never be found again. When I pushed for the reasons why, he shared with me that he had lived a very rough life. And that this world would be better off without him. I was able to share with him about my past which, in short, is that I am a recovered addict and alcoholic who was also worthless at one point. And I shared with him my “road to Damascus”experience that allowed me to begin to live a useful life.

He listened and became hopeful that God could even use a person like him to help others. We have since become part of each other’s lives. And I am glad to report that he is well on his way to repairing the damage done through his lifestyle and to learning how to serve God by serving others. It is such an honor to be used by God.

Two phrases have interrupted my thoughts this Christmas. For you to try to follow the maze of my thinking would take you on a journey for which you are likely not prepared. Nor am I trying to avoid giving credit to the varied sources that are shaping my thinking be it song, sermon, screen or Scripture. Here’s the first phrase.

The prophecy recorded in Isaiah 11 foretells of “a shoot [that] will come up from the stump of Jesse” and then describes justice shaped by righteousness. “He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes or decide by what he hears with his ears; 4  but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.”

True justice, in righteousness. What follows that is this curious list of things we rarely, if ever see, on this earth. It’s worth a read. What about: “The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.”

If this describes how the world should be, we aren’t living in it now. There is so much that isn’t right. Can you make a list? I can too.

In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 1, the shoot from of the stump of Jesse foretold in Isaiah 11 is named. Jesus, who is born the Christ, finally came to this world that isn’t right.

Jump to 1 Peter 5:10-11 (NIV) “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

Did you catch that? This Christ who is paying attention to those who suffer, will “himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” We need restoration since we are damaged, weak, fragile and vacillating. For a different take on that same verse, let’s hear from the EasyEnglish Bible. Yep, that’s what I said, the EasyEnglish Bible. 1 Peter 5:10 says, “Yes, you will have trouble like this for a short time. But after that, God will make everything right.”
Making everything right is a matter of true justice. From injustice to true justice. From damaged, weak, fragile and vacillating to restored, strong, firm and steadfast.

True justice doesn’t mean those other people will get adjusted. True justice means that I’ll get adjusted too.

The world just isn’t right, hasn’t been for thousands of years. We could spend all of Christmas describing what’s wrong and living like this life is all that there is. Or we can look forward to a time when all will be right again.

All things right. God will make all things right.
__
Some would say I grew up poor. We wore hand-me downs, ate leftovers, had a garden to feed the family. My daddy hunted and taught us to hunt for fun and food. We had what we needed. I grew up far richer than many others in many ways.

There were a few times a year when I’d get something new; my birthday, the beginning of the school year, and Christmas. I like new. It seems fresh, untouched, clean, welcoming. But it’s just stuff. Our current culture highly values new, and stuff. New cars. New clothes. New ideas.

I like new but I lean toward old. A quilt my great aunt made for me hanging in our living room. Things that my parent’s gathered that I now enjoy. 80-year-old reclaimed heart pine lumber that adorns a wall in our home. Memories of godly parents.

I live in the world of poor choices, cancer, stroke, ALS, dust, rust, irreparably damaged relationships that may be changed forever, planned obsolesce, polarized politics, and death. Things continue to fall apart.

In the futuristic, apocalyptic writing that is the book of Revelation, which we have no plans of studying in our small group Bible study, we get to look ahead. Revelation 21:5   says, “And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also, he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

All things new.

“But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.” (2 Peter 3:13). I wonder what that new heaven and a new earth is going to be. The Bible gives indication of that future ‘new’. It’s my finite, human trapped imagination that can’t grasp it.

For that one to come, this one will have to go.

All. Things. New. I look forward to that new.

All. Things. Right. I look forward to that right.

May the reality of the coming prophesied Christ, the lights and gifts of this season, and even time with family and friends, remind you of far greater future hope and beauty when all will be right and all will be new. May this hope encourage you today to live with anticipation, and to share that hope with those around you. Merry Christmas!

I’ve been wearing out Come Jesus Come, song by CeCe Winans. Take a few minutes to listen. [link to CeCe Winans, Come Jesus Come, on YouTube.]

Reflections on Resilience-Building Retreats

As I reflect back, there are so many stories we could tell and more to tell in future years but just some that come to mind… 

In 2011, that first trip, we’re getting ready for a nine-month deployment, we’re in the Smoky Mountains in the fall and we’re walking along the trails on a ridgeline and one of my Junior NCOs, we’ll call him Robby, starts speaking, talking about the fact that he’s been thinking about God’s plan. He’s a believer, but he’s been thinking about God’s plan for his life and feels God nudging him in a certain direction after the Army. This conversation leads to many more in the following deployment but it started there, it started out walking on a trail and, fourteen years later, Robby’s out of the Army and he’s a Pastor in a church in vocational ministry. 

In 2015, we’re doing a sea-kayaking adventure down the Georgia coast and camping on some of the barrier islands of Georgia. The sun is setting in over the marsh and it’s casting this golden glow over the water and our camp is set up amongst the driftwood with the hammocks slung in the downed trees and the campfire’s crackling and under the stars in the sky, the sound of the waves in the background, one of the Rangers there, Derrick, decides to open up and he starts speaking, and his voice is steady but it’s filled with emotion and he says, “you know, I grew up in church, but somewhere along the way, I drifted. Maybe it was the last two deployments, maybe it was life in the barracks, the people I was around, but I’ve just been feeling lost for a long time.” And we all leaned in, feeling the weight of his words, as he continued, that he’d been feeling this pull, that even on this trip that he was feeling like God had been reaching out to him and so he shared about his personal struggles with addiction and the weight of shame that he was feeling, but his story resonated with all of us. So we sat there around that campfire sharing our own fears, our own hopes, finding solace in these shared experiences and in the journey back to faith. And today, Derrick’s a fully devoted follower of Christ and he’s bringing other people to faith around him in a way that makes me feel bad about myself, frankly. But it was in moments like that that remind us of that power of connection.

Just a year ago maybe, BENCHMARK’s hosting a parent-child event in my old unit, in a job that I left, where Rangers are taking their kids on an outdoor adventure and they’re investing in them, they’re making memories with them, they’re laying down a foundation for their entire lifetime and their future, and they’re building memories that are gonna last a lifetime. And one of my friends is driving away and his kids are in the back seat and they’re immediately talking about next year, coming back next year and how they can’t wait for the next trip, the next BENCHMARK trip. 

As somebody who’s served as a Chaplain for more than a decade and a half, with a lot of time deployed to combat, having counselled and cared for more Soldiers and their families than I can remember, and having witnessed the impacts of loss first-hand, having lived through and experienced the losses of suicide, having seen human suffering in the terrors of war, having experienced hardship, I can tell you that there is no outside organization or group that I think, personally, is better equipped than BENCHMARK Adventure Ministries to give Soldiers an opportunity to engage their spiritual core in a meaningful and a life-changing way. 

Independent >> Dependent, Hard can be Helpful

I have always considered myself to be quite an independent person. Being independent is not necessarily bad unless it is taken to the extreme. And I have certainly done that. I have even gone so far as to convince myself that if I need help, I am a failure and not good enough. Let’s not go down that path, because I have lived there often enough that I know what it can do to my soul.

As I grow and mature, I learn to recognize that leaning into the help of others is a good thing. It allows me to utilize both the strengths I have and the strengths others have and to encourage each other in the process. This is something that I have been slow to appreciate and incorporate, both personally and professionally. However, God has a wonderful way of reminding us of the need to allow others to share the loads that we have.

The annual Backpack for BENCHMARK hike has always been a great challenge for me physically. Most often, there are those on the hike who are far stronger than me physically. I work hard in the days before the hike to train well and be prepared to at least keep up with those long-legged strong men who I know are quite capable of leaving me behind on the trail. My fellow hikers often offer me the chance to hike ahead of them, encouraging me that they will hike with me and ‘keep my pace’ with no judgment. In reality, I often like to be in the back, because it allows me some alone time to think, pray, and evaluate things that I have allowed to overwhelm me and ‘worry’ me.

2022’s hike was no different in that capacity. I was mostly hiking in the back, alone, by my choice. I had done well, though, mostly keeping up and not requiring them to wait for me for long periods of time for breaks throughout each day. I was very pleased with how I had prepared for the ups and downs of the trail and my ability to persevere through the ‘hard’ climbs, steady and slow, but not too slow.

On the last day, I was in the back. There were a lot of acorns on the trail and we were hiking some significantly downhill sections. At one point, I slipped on a large patch of acorns and fell down. Not injured, just a little dirty, I got up and kept walking. It reminded me of a scene from one of the “Winnie the Pooh” cartoons where Rabbit (I think) got swept away by a rush of acorns that had been stored away. It made me chuckle as I kept walking down the trail. We met up in a gap soon after that for a break and a snack. As the day progressed, of course, there was another uphill section, but we were now under 10 miles to the end, so I knew I could do it. After that, it was going to be downhill, truly my favorite trail to hike.

With a little over 5 miles to go, I came upon a section of trail where there were a few downed trees. There was one tree that was forked and I needed to step into the middle of it and cross one section at a time. I stepped over the first limb without any problem. When I stepped over the second limb, my right foot hung on something and I fell flat on my face. I heard a snap and now my foot was hurting. My immediate thoughts were that I had broken my foot and there were still 5 miles to go. I was crying. I wasn’t sure how far my companion hikers were in front of me, but I yelled “JAMES, JOSH, KINLEY” as loudly as I could. I lay there a minute more. Then I told myself I needed to get up and test the foot. It was still hurting pretty bad, but I needed to find out. So, I got up slowly standing on my left foot. Then I put down my right foot. It hurt. I took a cautious step. Okay. I can move on it. I don’t think it’s broken. Must have been the limb that snapped. Thank you, God!

I kept walking and crying. I needed to catch the guys. I knew there was a shelter close by and that they would likely wait for me there as we were also changing trails at that point. I just didn’t know how far it was. I also knew after I got to the shelter, it would be all downhill. I walked slowly and after a bit figured out I could move better than I thought. When I got to the shelter, the guys were there as anticipated. I carefully walked up trying not to let on that I was hurt. There’s that independence showing up. You see, I knew that if I told them I was hurt, they would offer to take some of my weight, and then I wouldn’t be finishing the hike as planned.

After I sat down for a bit to have a snack and then got back up, the pain was back. James saw it on my face and asked me what was wrong. I told them I had twisted my ankle pretty bad, but thought it was okay. As expected, they asked if they could take some weight from my pack. I said NO.

We started down the trail, James staying close by me and my inner self battling and trying to hold in the tears that were coming, not just because of pain. But because my self-sufficient soul was beginning to tell myself over and over what a failure I was because now I was slowing everyone down. I struggled with it. Going down hurt more than going up. But I kept moving. Slow but moving. James stayed with me. I kept hearing in my head that he was upset with me because I was going so slowly. A lie that I was forcing myself to push down. But, it kept coming back.

Soon after that, we stopped again and someone asked if less weight in my pack would help. I knew it would. But, my stubborn self did not want to give it up. I did, however, reluctantly say yes it likely would. Between the three of them, they divided up the heaviest things in my pack. When I put it back on, I felt like it had nothing in it. We continued down the trail and I continued that inner battle about not being good enough. Yet, I knew that it was our combined strength that was helping me to finish this hike, and ‘leaning’ on them was what I needed to do for us to finish in a timely manner and perhaps not injure my foot any worse than it was already injured. James remained with me and, for the most part, we all finished together in the end.  We finished at a creek, so I took off my shoes and soaked my foot in the very cold water while James went after the van.

The theme of the hike is “Hard can be Helpful”. For me, it was not about the physical demands of the hike. For me, the ‘hard’ was recognizing that WE were a team of hikers and it was good that I had the strength of others to carry my weight when I was unable to do so. We are intended to walk this life together in community, not alone. I sometimes rely entirely too much on myself, both personally and professionally. God provides me with the strength both through him and others to face the challenges life brings. I need to lean into God and the strength of those around me to face them and walk through them and continue to learn that I don’t have to do it alone.

When we got in the car, I thanked them for taking my weight and assured them that it allowed me to finish. Kinley reminded me that though it was hard, it was needed, and even acknowledged that he would have struggled with giving up weight as well. You see, I also believe I am not alone in that struggle with a balance, or tension, as my husband likes to say, of being both dependent and independent. It is a battle I will continue to fight, though perhaps this will be a reminder to me of the benefit of being a little more dependent.

Sondra: “And who decides where you go?”

“I do, I’m the founder. We’re heading out on Thursday to serve Appalachian Trail hikers in North Georgia.”

Without saying a word, she reaches for her wallet and pulls out cash. I could easily see into it and she gave me all I could see: a $20 bill and two $1s.
“Oh, thank you. That’s very kind.”

“I’m just doing what I was told to do,” she said.
“I try to do the same.” (I immediately thought of what I tell other people to do, which is what I want to do. To speak when the Holy Spirit leads me to speak and to keep my mouth shut when the Holy Spirit leads me.) But I didn’t say all that.

I said “I can’t even see your name.” So she turned her name tag around. “Thank you, Sondra.”

I reached for my business card to give to her. “How do I send you a receipt?” She kinda shrugged, and I’m not sure what she said other than, “Would you pray for me?” “Yes, I will.” So I did, before I stepped away, and with someone standing in line waiting behind me.

I want to be more like Sondra when I grow up.

Praying with hikers on the 2023 ATO.

Sondra’s donation helped sponsor food at our Gooch Gap pop-up cafe for 2 days for a hiker on the Appalachian Trail this spring. Every dollar matters!

Time is money…so some say.

No. It is not. 

If I have all the money in the world, I can’t purchase any more time. For those whose time is calculated in billable hours, there is a monetary connection to your use of time, but time is still not money. The commodities are very different.

In college, I wasted time. I had classes, multiple jobs, played intramural sports, had plenty to do yet still didn’t use time well. 

My daddy would write things down so he wouldn’t forget them. I learned a great deal from Jonathan Thigpen, the main professor for my college major, and then made improvements. I began to calendar everything. Since I didn’t have much money, I’d create my own four-and-a-half-month calendar each college semester on a single piece of poster board to plot out every assignment from every class I had and every due date. If I dropped an assignment it was because I wasn’t looking at my calendar, not because I forgot. I could see each week and month in one view in an old school way.

Post college, I was trying to wrestle my time usage into submission. I continued to waste discretionary time, struggled with procrastination, and was easily distracted by… squirrel! Yes, all kinds of things. As a staff member of a small Christian Camp in eastern Kentucky, I needed to use time better, develop deeper spiritual disciplines and watch less TV.

In about 1985, I attended my first  conference of the organization which is now called Christian Camps and Conference Association. I signed up for an all-day early bird session called “The Organized Administrator.” Wow! It was just what I needed. Not simply time management but personal, values-driven management. t Then I began to use a system called Day-Timer’s, which helped to put calendar, contacts, tasks, mileage and expenses in one  compact location. I started tracking every penny that God allowed to pass through my fingers. Every penny.

On my family Christmas list in 1991, I asked for The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. My brother Joby and sister-in-law Carol bought it for me. Though my faith tradition is different from Stephen Covey’s, his values-based, task / relationship model still affects my life and teaching, nearly 30 years later.

“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule but to schedule your priorities.” Stephen Covey

So what about this 15-minutes idea?

In the application section of Covey’s Habit 3, Put First Things First, he suggests logging time usage for three days in  15-minute intervals. In college class I’ve required ministry students to log their time usage in  15-minute intervals for a whole week. It’s a valuable assessment to visually see how a person uses time and then to move toward better aligning that usage with their stated priorities. 

I’ve tried to be increasingly more mindful of how to use 15 minutes well with a desire to use the next 15 minutes wisely. I want to align my time usage with my priorities. Over time, 15 minutes has shaped my thinking in many ways. 

15 minutes are important because you only have those minutes once. There are really wonderful opportunities that only take 15 minutes. 

Sometimes people say, “I only have 15 minutes.”

Well, okay, use that 15 minutes. What can I wisely do with it for 15 minutes? Based on values and priorities, how can I choose to spend the next 15 minutes?

My wife and I have four kids, now all grown up.. We’re past the most intense, hands-on part of parenting. Comparatively speaking, it’s a pretty easy time for us. We’re not having to do school through Zoom because of COVID-19 precautions*.

But I still remember those times when it feels like the wheels are coming off, ‘cause they were. Sick child, lack of sleep, trying to keep children from hurting themselves or others, the daily guidance that seems to never end, emotional reserve empty, trying to connect values to actions, attempting to figure out why this child is screaming.

Parenting leaves a mark.

Sometimes as a parent, I need to just not lose my mind for the next 15 minutes. Or sometimes I need to pay attention to my child for the next 15 minutes. Sometimes I need to not lose my temper just for the next 15 minutes. And then after that, I need to not lose my temper for the next 15 minutes. And when I do lose my temper, reset and start the clock again. 

15 minutes is just a snatch of time. But if we can leverage that 15 minutes, sometimes it can help us move in a better direction.

15 minutes matter. A person’s whole life can change drastically with how they choose to use 15 minutes for better, or for worse.

I nap for 15 minutes. When I go to bed at night and then lay awake for 15 minutes, I get up and do something else. I’m apparently not tired enough to go to sleep, so I do something else.

For my spiritual and emotional well-being, I just sit, think, listen to the Bible, listen to a book or quality, life-giving podcast, or let an encouraging song play for the next 15 minutes. Perhaps I journal or pray for 15 minutes and set an alarm. Take a walk.

15 minutes has been very helpful for me, just to check in and say, “Okay, what can I do well in the next 15 minutes, what do I need to stop doing for the next 15 minutes?”

What’s the best use of the next 15 minutes?

I’ve used all manner of tools, from paper to a Palm Pilot to all sorts of apps, but the mindset is more important than the tool. Your priorities should manage your schedule.

I still get distracted. I do better than I did, but it’s still an ongoing struggle. I need to use this next 15 minutes wisely. Maybe it’s time for me to track my time for the next three days.

So was your last 15 minutes well spent? 

How will you use the next 15 minutes?

*This article was originally written in 2020, during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Copyright © 2020 by James H Evans