I was a yes person. Whenever someone asked me to take on a role. I’d say yes. A sucker for “I think you’d be great at this.” Of course, I would do it. You may be the same. However, I learnt a valuable lesson. I first had to learn to say no, In order to say yes.

In 2016, I attended a seminar with Michael Grinder, the world-leading expert in nonverbal communication. I sat at the front, to capture as much of the experience that I could. During the session, I sat glued to what he was teaching us. At break time, I made my way over the tea station. While I was making my cup of tea, Michael came up to me, “Do you mind if I give you some insights,” said this grandfatherly figure. “Of course,” I replied. I knew others were paying to have private sessions with him, and here he was offering some gold he had observed in me.

“You are an intelligent woman; however, you take on too much and don’t get enough sleep.” Well, he had me pegged.

On my way home, I counted up all of my projects. I had about 10 going at the time. Michael was right. There was just too much going on. I couldn’t put my best self into the things that were most important to me. I had to learn to say “No” to invitations that are going to get in the way of my greater mission in life.

Some of my projects filled me with light. It didn’t matter how much time and energy I put into it, I was constantly renewed and I could go on and on and on. Other things that I took on, drained me completely, leaving me exhausted. They absorbed my time and destroyed my energy. They took me away from those projects that I hold so dearly to my heart.

This is where I learnt the difference between self-sacrifice and self-fulness. The things I had said yes to that drained me. I took on out of some other sense than what I felt right about doing. There was some sort of obligation implied. I was doing it because someone else needed it or wanted it. It was not what filled my bucket.

If we look at a bucket and imagine water flowing into it. However, the bucket has holes in it and the water just pours out, leaving nothing behind. No matter how much water is poured into the bucket, it can’t be filled.

If we take another bucket, with no holes, and pour water into it, the bucket is filled. As more water is poured in, it overflows and it can share its abundance of water with all, while being full and sustained itself. This is how I see self-fulness. It is this continual flow of abundance that pours out to all around it.

While we could, as an alternative, choose to go into selfish mode and just keep it all for ourselves, this isn’t what fills us with joy. The flow stops and the bucket of water stagnates.

It is easy to get lost in a world of self-sacrifice and I fall back into it from time to time. I remind myself that I have to learn to say no, in order to say yes. I stop and realign myself with the things that do have my bucket overflowing. I’d much rather have my bucket overflowing and continue to give and serve.

When we give of ourselves, we find the greatest sense of joy and fulfilment. This is where my heart is. This is where I have authentic influence.

In the Netflix Documentary “Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones,” Dan Buettner uncovers his learning from investigating the secrets of living to 100 and beyond with a healthy, happy, fulfilling lifestyle.

One of the vital components of this is volunteering. Giving our time to others for a purpose beyond our own needs provides us with many benefits. These include happiness, fulfilment and a social network. As a result, we are healthier and have a greater lifespan.

How do we find that perfect volunteering gig that will bring us the fulfilment and happiness that is on offer?

We could just jump into something. There are always plenty of organisations crying out for help. There are always needs to be fulfilled.

BUT WAIT!!!

Before you do, stop and consider what it is that will bring you fulfilment. What is it that you will enjoy doing?

Hang on a minute! Do you mean it is about me?

Yes, it is. When you volunteer somewhere that will bring you happiness and fulfilment, you can and will give it your all. You won’t get burnt out. You will stick to it longer. And that is good for both you and the organisation you are volunteering with.

When you are choosing your career, you give it a lot of thought. You think about the work that you will be doing. You think about the environment you will be in. The people you will mix with. The opportunities that lay ahead that you will enjoy doing. Why not do the same with volunteering? In actual fact, it is even more critical, as you won’t be paid financially to compensate for your time.

Your payment is the enjoyment, the friends, the happiness and the fulfilment that you find.

In my book “Compassionate Purpose: Discovering a Life of Fulfilment,” I set out many examples of people who have found that fulfilment in life by taking on Social Missions of various types. I also explore the steps that you can take to find that perfect volunteering gig that will bring you joy. Some of these include taking a look at your values, your skills and your passions. What are the activities that bring you the most joy in life? Is there a way you can do these with others?

The important thing for us to know is that whoever you are, wherever you are, no matter the circumstances you find yourself in, there is something you can do that will make a difference. There is something you can do to help others and to make the world a better place.

When we put this into the front of our mind and consider that, as Dan Buettner found, it is essential for our well-being and longevity. We will live a happier and more fulfilled life.

Do your interactive events miss the mark?

“This Zoom meeting will be different. It will be interactive.” How many times how you heard that in the past two years?

You give in and go along, and it’s all a bit, the same same. A poll here and there. A few questions, maybe even a quiz. Halfway through, you’re starting to look at your email or social media, wishing the pain of it to go away.

Sitting on Zoom meetings became such a daily occurrence for most people during the pandemic. With all of this experience, you would think we would have become good at it. Even those who think they are good at it can be somewhat lacking and never really capture the essence of an in-person meeting.

I have been involved in running and managing live in-person events for the past 7 years. Moving on to online events, I become curious about the difference in results and the audience’s responsiveness. In both in-person and online events, interaction is essential. It is a proven method of learning and cementing the concepts in participants.

Last year an opportunity arose for me to do a course that previously was out of reach because of the travel requirements. Now that people couldn’t travel, it was online. However, it meant that I had to turn my days upside down, start at 11pm, and go through the night until 6am for 4 days. The idea of being Zoom during those hours, for that long, was daunting, but I really wanted to do it. I felt I needed this knowledge.

How would I keep focused and take in all I needed to? They promised it would be interactive. That should help. Here is where I learned the key to creating a responsive learning environment. It is not so much about the interaction. It is the connectivity.

All of the exercises we did during this course connected us with 1 or 2 people from somewhere else in the world. We had time to do the exercises, with bonus time given for reflection and connecting with each other through what we had learned. Different perspectives were shared with us. We created a real connection with people that allowed us to embrace what we learned. Friendships were made.

When we connect with others personally, we absorb more learning and more desire to be involved. It enhances our experience and brings out a more profound commitment to getting results. When we make these connections, we build rapport, beyond the other person, into the community or organisation.

As I explore this now, I start to see how this connectivity needs to be incorporated in both online and in-person events. While we can think that our interactions in-person involve connectivity, they can still be easily missed. People can easily be overlooked or hide and escape in both circumstances without finding the full benefit offered to them. Creating experiences where all can feel comfortable sharing makes the difference.

Incorporating Chocolate and Coffee breaks into events is one way of doing it. I have used these at workshops, seminars and retreats, online and in-person, giving people time to connect with each other on a personal level. It doesn’t need to be a big chunk of time. It can just be a purposeful pause.

Right now, connectivity is what people are craving. We need to reconnect and remember what it is to be in community. Have we forgotten how to work with each other? Have we got lost in our own little worlds of isolation? Take time to think about this and how you can incorporate something more than interaction into your meetings or events. Make sure that people are connecting. It’s connectivity that counts.

When my daughter was at high school, one of the teachers at the school kept giving her yard duty. The reason behind this was that she wouldn’t tuck in her shirt. The uniform policy for the school stressed that she had to wear a blue shirt. We didn’t go to the expensive uniform shop to buy shirts. Instead, we purchased shirts that were within our budget. They were fashionable shirts at the time. It was a feminine cut shirt rather than the baggy boy cut school shirts. They weren’t designed to be tucked in.

Week after week, this teacher would pull my daughter aside and tell her to tuck her shirt in. She chose to do the yard duty rather than to comply.

After a while, of course, she got sick of it. It just kept ongoing. I told her that next time, ask him to give me a call. It wasn’t too long before the call came. He told me how well-presented my daughter always was, but she wouldn’t tuck in her shirt. Then he tried this argument on me. “I want her to fit in and do what everyone else is doing.”

Wasn’t that a beautiful thing to say to me?

I am all about community and the importance of working together. However, there is this thing about doing what everyone else is doing. Being a “team player.” Well, guess what? Doing what everyone else is doing for the sake of it is not being a “team player.”

To build a strong community, we need to embrace diversity. We need to appreciate the differences. The differences in thought, ideology, beliefs, ability, appearance is all vital. When we start doing the same as everyone else, just to comply, then we are in big trouble. We have lost the beauty and power of community. We lose our individuality and the essential ingredients for growth and development. We have given our power over to someone else.

I don’t believe in being a “team player” unless that means being myself: Bringing all of my strengths and abilities to the table. Being able to speak my mind and being respected for who I am. I want the rest of the team to do the same. Speak out if you disagree. Have your say. Do things your way. That is what it is to be in community.

As for the teacher, he gave me the opportunity I was waiting for. My response was, “So, what you are saying is, if all of my daughter’s friends are taking drugs, she should too so that she fits in?” It was the last we heard from that teacher. From this point on, he left my daughter alone to be herself with a new sense of respect.

The way of the Puddle Warrior is filled with curiosity and adventure. I feel fortunate to be able to walk beside the Master and learn his mysterious ways. When I take time to really notice, I find the gifts of his simple play.

Mason, my two and half-year-old grandson, loves puddles and mud. Each week when he comes for his play date, he wants to go out in search of puddles. If there isn’t any, we have to make them. Then he can play his favourite game. STUCK. He brings with him an assortment of cars, trucks, buses, or construction vehicles. If the puddles are big enough, his bike is a great tool as well.

Each vehicle has its turn of driving into the puddle, sometimes being immersed completely. Then he announces gleefully, STUCK. Forever chatting about what is going on, I get the full commentary of how he is going to get this car out of the mud. He gets another vehicle to come and help to pull, push or tow it out of the mud. Sometimes it even includes a helicopter lift.

As I watched him yesterday in the hours of play, covered in mud, I found the lesson from the Puddle Warrior. Getting stuck is not a bad thing. Getting stuck gives us the opportunity to find a new way. It opens up our imagination to something else. We are able to look around and find solutions. It expands our minds.

For Mason, it is a growth experience. How can I do this differently? What else can I do? His mind is forever expanding, his capacity is infinite. He reminds us that the best tway for us to learn, grow and solve the problems of the world, is to put our gumboots on, splash around in puddles, play in the mud, get dirty. Allow yourself to get stuck and see that as a potential to open up new possibilities.

At the end of the day, when your boots are covered in mud, your soaking wet and you come in and dry off, you can sit with a warm cuppa and know you have had a successful day. You have walked the way of the Puddle Warrior.

Do you have a STUCK? Connect with Andrea and see if The Way of the Puddle Warrior can help you.

Winter began hard in Melbourne this year. It started with a harsh lockdown for two weeks. As we started to see the light at the end of this tunnel, we were hit with fierce storms leaving devastation from falling trees and people without power, some for weeks.

There is no question winter can be harsh. The cold hard realities set in and we go into hibernation mode. There is pruning to be done. While everything is quiet and cold, it is hard to see the Spring, let alone the Summer ahead.

When I look around me, I see many businesses going through a harsh, cold winter. Covid has knocked us around, like those winter storms. It has left devastation in its wake. It has left many feeling without power, wondering how to connect with the outside world again.

Yet Winter can be a gift. If we look at my favourite model that I work with, the 4 seasons, we can find opportunities for new growth that will allow new avenues to be opened.

Autumn caused us to let go of all that no longer serves us. Everything that we thought we were has gone, just as the leaves changed colour and fell to ground. The pandemic has forced us to let go of that beauty that adorned us. The canopy of leaves gave us that moment of glory and feeling of safety that we had achieved something grand.

Now we find ourselves naked and vulnerable to the weather. How do we pick up the pieces?

Winter is time for us to stop and reflect. We can see where we have been and it has been good. But we can’t keep doing that now. We have to look to the future, to what is calling from beyond. We can’t be what we were before. There is something new calling us.
The solutions we need today, cannot be found by looking to the past. We need to let go of old ways and to listen to where we are going. We need to find tomorrow’s solutions today. This is a process of discernment and renewal. Just like the tree that has lost its leaves, winter is a time for the inner work to be done. A time for preparation for new growth, new understandings, new ways to evolve.

When we take this time to nourish ourselves and our businesses, slowly but surely, new buds will start to breakthrough. New directions will start to come forward. As Spring starts to emerge, so do we, as the blossoms open up and new beauty springs forward.

The bountiful and beautiful Summer will come. Our businesses can and will flourish again if we can just take time and appreciate the true gift of winter that we now find ourselves in.

The simple pleasures of life, chocolate, coffee and conversation have a lot to offer in so many ways. Enjoying that soothing and comforting experience of chocolate melting in your mouth. A warm cup cradled in your hands. The conversation connecting you to the life and experience of another.

This is the joy of Chocolate and Coffee Breaks. When shared with someone who is different to you in some way, it starts to break down barriers that may otherwise keep you at a distance. It is a simple way to start the process of healing community and understanding other ways of living, other cultures, other religions, other opinions.

It is simple really, yet very effective.

The Land of Welcome, a Melbourne based organisation founded by Robert Ackroyd, provides opportunities for refugees to meet with and create relationships with other Australians, has been holding Chocolate and Coffee Breaks as a way of opening up in a new area. One such group has developed in Brisbane and attracting people to explore the diversity of the community and start working together.

Here they find acceptance of who they are, as they develop a new sense of belonging in the community. This is the start of them working together so that they can all contribute to a bigger vision.

As leaders, it is important for us to have an influence on our teams and in our communities. However, we need to consider what is the influence we are having. Chocolate and Coffee Breaks allows us to take time to listen and understand what people think, feel and need, rather than us making assumptions. It brings people together giving in a spirit of acceptance and provides them with a sense of “I am important, I am worth listening to.” This is the beginning of having Authentic Influence.

Authentic Influence comes when we listen to others on a deep level when we take time to ensure we understand them and their needs and empower them to step up and live the life they were designed to live.

This is the beauty of Chocolate and Coffee Breaks. It is alluring to all the senses and empowering way to build community and have Authentic Influence.

To find out more about how you can be involved in Chocolate and Coffee Breaks, visit www.ChocolateandCoffeeBreaks.com and download the free resource pack.

Andrea Putting is a Speaker, Author and Expert Authority in Authentic Influence. She guides leaders to achieve a powerful, strong, loyal team and community, through building a Social Mission, so that they can have authentic influence and unleash their ultimate impact on the world. Connect with her now

After 27 years of living in our home, we decided it was time to renovate. It has taken a lot of visioning to what our “new home” needs to look like to suit our needs. What needs to e changed. We planned, we choose a builder, we sought advice from experts. Decisions were made.

That was the easy part.

Next came the physical preparations, a phase that is continuing, even though the renovations have started. We have had to pack away everything. Going through every item in the house and making that decision. Do we keep this or not? Then, what happens to the things that no longer serve us?

The complete demolishing of rooms begins. Noise, dust, dirt. People coming in and out, while we continue to try to live and work in our home offices.

Boxes of belongings lying everywhere. These normally quite house-proud people, who flourish in a clean and tidy atmosphere, are living in chaos for the next few months.

We often have visions of something of the future that we want to make happen. We plan, we get advice (hopefully), and get started. We just want the result. We don’t want to do the sorting and clearing out first. We don’t want to listen to the noise and live in chaos. We just want the result.

It doesn’t work that way. No one is going to wave their magic wand and have it happen overnight. We need to allow life to get messy. We need to allow the disruption of everything. We need to gratefully step into the chaos and embrace it. When we clear out everything and look at it as a blank canvas, new visions and innovations appear.

Only then can the fullness of our vision be revealed and bring our lives into something that will bring us a sense of satisfaction. To do anything worthwhile in life you have to be willing to go through this process of renovation.

This is very similar to the processes I use as I work with Social Mission and developing new innovations. There is always a messy time, as piece by piece old ways are pulled apart so that something new and beautiful can emerge.

As our renovations continue, we still have a lot to sort through, clearing out room by room. We have a long way to go. The vision of what our home will be when the renovations are complete keeps us going.

Andrea Putting is a Speaker, Author, and Expert in Authentic Influence. She guides leaders to achieve a powerful, strong, loyal team and community, through building a Social Mission, so that they can have authentic influence and unleash their ultimate impact on the world. Connect with her now

What influence do you have in the world?

Many of the influencers of this time are the result of social media. They create a following, they aren’t doing anything extraordinary, they just put-up post and cleverly market themselves in what they do. But what is the influence they have? Is it the kind of influence that really makes a difference in peoples’ lives? Does it have a positive impact? Or is it just feeding their ego?

Many of the great influencers in my life are not the ones that have a big public persona. They are ones that quietly go about their lives putting their values in action. They walk their talk. They live as their message day in day out. They have influenced my life and those around them by authentic influence.

One of those was Ted, a man who was passionate about earth stewardship. He lived his message and shared it with me as a young child and through my teenage years. He was a volunteer minister in my church and this was the message he lived and breathed. Looking back, I realised his influence on me was profound and it was carried through to my children and now to my grandchildren. They live his message of caring for the environment and for others.

Influence comes in all shapes and sizes and we can choose how we influence. As leaders it is important that our influence isn’t of the superficial type. When it is fueled by ego it falls down. However, our influence is important to our teams. They need to be able to look to you for your influence. They need to be able to trust you and believe you.

What is the influence you have?

I have seen many leaders of business and community who believe their position, itself, is all that is required. They demand loyalty from their people. They want complete loyalty and complain that people have competing loyalties which prevent them from being fully present. Loyalty cannot be demanded. Loyalty is earned only when the leader is authentic in what they say and do. They live their message. They are loyal to their people, they will fight for them, they will make sure that they are nourished and feel safe in their community. They focus on complimentary loyalties.

If your people are not being loyal, take a look in a mirror. Are you loyal to them? Are you being that authentic influencer that they need? Do you say one thing and do another? Do you promise things and don’t follow through? Are your people “Yes people” or do they feel safe in coming to you and sharing their feedback?

Being an authentic influencer in your role as a leader is vital if you are going to have your ultimate impact on the world. It is quite simple, really, just listen. Listen to your people. Care for them. Give them a safe place where they can feel accepted, have a sense of belonging and an opportunity to contribute. When you do you will have the authentic influence that really matters.

Andrea Putting is a Speaker, Author and Expert Authority in Authentic Influence. She guides leaders to achieve a powerful, strong, loyal team and community, through building a Social Mission, so that they can have authentic influence and unleash their ultimate impact on the world. Connect with her now

The amber colour of the chandelier attracted my attention. It hung beautifully in the light creating lacy shadows on the wall of the gallery of the National Archives exhibition in Canberra. “Is that amber?” my Baltic heart questioned. I had to get up close to see what this was made of. When I looked closely, I was surprised to find hundreds of tiny vials filled with this golden substance all chained together to create this beautiful piece of artwork.

What is this? What is this substance that came together to create such beauty?

The answer was written on the wall. This piece of art was created by a Rebecca McEwan and called 4000 stories. It contained the life time work of 4000 individuals. “Each vessel containing the life-time work of 2-3 bees, asking us to question the value we place on honey and existence of bees in our delicately balanced ecosystem.”

The artist wanted us to consider how our relationship with bees has descended from one of symbiosis to that of exploitation and disregard. While this exquisite piece of work has me questioning, as it should, our relationship with honey and bees, I saw it as an analogy beyond the bees. I started to think about people and their lifetime of work.

When we are working with people, we can easily look at just this one piece of work that they have just completed. They might not think much of it. “It’s nothing.” “It’s easy.” It might be a quick job that they have completed. We look at just this, as we look at the honey we smear on our toast. It’s not much, just this. It is so easy to overlook the deeper story behind everything. Whether they have just done it easily or taken a lot of time to complete it, it is so much more than this.

The task they have just completed, the paper they have just written, the customer service they have just given, even if it is the floor they have just cleaned, every piece of it comes from their life time of work. We don’t just get up one morning and write a concerto. It takes years of practice and experience to get there. It is flavoured with our life experience, our emotions, our passions, our drive, or not. Every job one of your employees completes is done with this lifetime that has built upon each moment.

Multiply this. How many life times of work make up your business? You look at the beauty and awe of what has been achieved. You see this finished product with all of its accomplishments. It is magnificent. However, don’t forget that hard work, all of that time your people have spent through out their entire lives to have the expertise that you needed to create this masterpiece that is your business.

Take a moment to gaze on the beauty that has been created. Contemplate each part that makes up the whole. Express appreciation for every moment that has gone into creating this. The life time of work.

In every spoon of honey you eat, take a moment to appreciate how many bees have given their life to create this, that you may simply take for granted. Just the same in every task completed, appreciate that each moment is backed by a life time of hard work, practice and experience.

A business is like this chandelier and each person is like one of these beautiful vessels contain the fullness of their life-time work.  What is the value you place on each one of these that creates your delicately balanced ecosystem?

Andrea Putting is a Speaker, Author and Expert Authority in Authentic Influence. She guides leaders to achieve a powerful, strong, loyal team and community, through building a Social Mission, so that they can have authentic influence and unleash their ultimate impact on the world. Connect with her now