Comments for A Queer Calling

Comment on Challenging the Norms of Female Celibacy — The Beguines by Stacey

Stacey — Fri, 19 May 2017 16:08:11 +0000

In reply to Sarah and Lindsey. Of course, not all celibate singles are without kids. I say that as an adoptive mother of several children who is also a celibate single...

Comment on The Want to Be Wanted by Lori Navrodtzke

Lori Navrodtzke — Thu, 18 May 2017 01:50:00 +0000

You have just given me a whole different perspective. I am a conservative Christian and I’ve had discussions with other conservative Christians about same sex attraction vs. same sex sexual activity. I’ve been of the belief that attraction happens and a person really can’t control who they are attracted to. However sexual activity is a choice which is different. So in this realm of “can someone who is gay really be a Christian” debate (that may or may not be the right word) I have been in the camp of–yes you can if you are celibate. However, I have never taken that perspective to the place of someone who is gay having a celibate relationship/partnership. The assumption has been that if you are in a relationship with someone you are attracted to, obviously you’re going to be sexually/physically involved with them. Thank you so much for sharing. You have certainly given me something to think through as well as a perspective I have never really considered.

Comment on Talking about “Real” Sexual Violence by Pastor

Pastor — Fri, 12 May 2017 23:22:00 +0000

In a church context, involving teens (ages 16 and 18), abuser adamantly denies accusation, staff believe girl, girl does not want authorities involved…what would you caution/recommend for church to do?

Comment on Writing about Queer Callings in 2017 by Biscuitnapper

Biscuitnapper — Mon, 08 May 2017 20:00:23 +0000

Having spent some time away from my previous haunts in the ‘blogosphere’ it feels quite timely I should start rereading your blog when you have returned to it as well!

Being a celibate gay woman in a fairly liberal tradition is a bit odd, not least because one can feel like a bit of a sell out to the ‘dark side’ (being a little facetious there…) but also as though one is taking for granted the beauty of liberal traditions which have defended and continually enable LGBTQ Christians to more openly explore their call in the fullness of themselves.

I will be honest and say this has often been my issue with some of my fellow celibate gay christians online, much as I respect and admire them – I am of a Nigerian background and I know for a fact that my ‘celibacy’ wouldn’t matter a jot to the majority of my sometimes violently homophobic brothers and sisters in Christ back in the motherland so sometimes I wonder if we’re getting a bit lax about how all our waxing lyrical about tradition and spiritual friendship is used against our LGBTQ siblings (whether in Christ or out of Christ) and what our responsibilities are as a type of ecumenical mediator.

It’s a tough one, sometimes, and I suspect not helped by the fact that often it’s hard yearning for community (speaking for my own context) that doesn’t exist because it’s not really needed for anyone else but oneself!

Comment on Sexual Abuse, Security, and the Seal of Confession by Lucy

Lucy — Tue, 04 Apr 2017 04:23:15 +0000

Hi Sarah,

I stumbled upon this blog looking for some answers as a young, newly-celibate, Orthodox twenty-something. You are tackling some issues that I know many people want to sweep under the rug so I thank you for that. I know this was more of an argument piece (with which I agree on), I would like to know if you have ever since discussed in confession the abuse you endured? I have struggled with this myself and have never been able to admit it happening to anyone except for an old ex-boyfriend. I guess I just want to pretend it never happened and confessing it would make it too real for me.

Thanks,
Lucy

Comment on The Fragility of Vocation by Tim (Sussex) (@sussexfriend)

Tim (Sussex) (@sussexfriend) — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 23:58:02 +0000

Reading WH Vanstone’s “Love’s Endeavour, Love’s Expense”. He is superb on the precariousness of love. Renunciation of control (which he sees as fundamental to love) means that love progresses by a series of improvisations with no guarantee of success at any point.

Comment on The Want to Be Wanted by smellysheep

smellysheep — Sat, 04 Mar 2017 06:55:30 +0000

Please keep up the good fight, and persevere in your Catholic faith! I am a 23 year old gay Catholic guy who is trying to follow Christ and the teachings of the church as well. I see in you the model of something I could have one day — and something I hope to be more common. It may be hard. People in the church may act scandalously towards you two, but please don’t give up on the church, especially the Eucharist, when others are not acting Christlike. I’m hopeful there are communities that are more accepting of others’ conditions in life. I feel as if my pastor is very understanding and would readily welcome you two.

God bless!

Comment on Protected by celibacy? by Katrina

Katrina — Fri, 10 Feb 2017 01:36:30 +0000

Thanks for sharing. It’s a concept I personally struggle with. When I finally meet a beautiful loving woman that loves me I ask myself should I remain celibate? Wouldn’t I just turn off potential partners? Will I be single for the rest of my life?

Comment on Writing about Queer Callings in 2017 by johnefrias

johnefrias — Fri, 03 Feb 2017 01:08:32 +0000

From a minister’s perspective, I think it is daunting and confusing when addressing the LGBTQ communities. Even so, I want to engage, love and build connections there. I would benefit from a conversation about what the LGBTQ communities need to hear from the church and how to initiate that conversation in a loving and sincere way.

Comment on We’re Back by sansigma

sansigma — Sun, 29 Jan 2017 18:49:52 +0000

It’s great to have you back! I’ve only commented here once before (on Lindsey’s post about hugs) but I’m a long-time reader and during your hiatus I’ve been checking in regularly to see if there had been any new posts, and now I’m so happy to see that there has! I also wanted to tell you that this blog played a role in helping me find my way back to the Church, and that even though our lives and faith journeys are very different I value your perspective a lot. I look very much forward to reading your new posts! : )