So is ButcherBox worth it in 2022, particularly at a time when meat is plentiful (even if the pandemic is neverending)? I’ll lay out the pros and cons of ButcherBox in this review, starting with a few basics: what it costs, how much meat you actually receive, the quality, and last but not least, the final verdict. 

Jump to Section:

– How does ButcherBox work?
– How much does ButcherBox cost per month?
– How is the quality of meat?
– How many pounds of meat are in each box?
– How fast does ButcherBox ship?
– Can you skip months with ButcherBox?
– The final verdict: Is ButcherBox worth it?
– ButcherBox promo codes

How does ButcherBox work?

Let’s start with the basics: How does a ButcherBox subscription work? For starters, you’ll need to choose your subscription type. Yes, you can change your ButcherBox subscription at any time! 

ButcherBox offers a total of five subscription options: a curated box, or one of four curated boxes: 

• Mixed Box: Provides you with a mix of beef, pork, and chicken
• Beef and Pork Box: Various cuts of beef and pork 
• Beef and Chicken Box: Various cuts of beef and chicken
• All Beef Box: Various cuts of beef

I personally went with the Custom Box, which allows you full control over what you receive. As long as you update your selection before you’re charged for the month, you’re golden!

How much does ButcherBox cost per month?

As of 2021, ButcherBox Custom boxes cost $149 for their Classic Box (9-14 pounds of meat) and $270 per order for their Big Box (18-26 pounds of meat). ButcherBox curated boxes are a bit cheaper ($129 and $238). 

There are also tons of ButcherBox promo codes floating around that will earn you free meat. For example, when I signed up for ButcherBox, I used this promo code for free ground beef for a lifetime. Translation: I receive two 1lb packages of ground beef for free with every box I order. 

Note: I dive into the nitty-gritty surrounding ButcherBox billing (like whether or not you can skip a month) further down, so keep scrolling. 

How is the meat in ButcherBox?

I have this weird thing with meat, which, given that I’m on a keto diet, isn’t ideal. Let’s just say that I’ve had a few really, really bad run-ins with grocery store meat. The worst? Ground beef from Jewel (an Albertson’s store) that was within date, yet smelled absolutely rancid once I started cooking it. The smell was so foul that it put me off of ground beef for months. I also have a thing with chicken. Sometimes, the stuff you get from regular grocery stores just tastes weird.  

Needless to say, I’m leery of meat, which as I’ve already mentioned, is probably one of the worst things you can be on a keto diet. 

Which brings me to the true testament of this ButcherBox review: how is the quality of meat? 

[cue drumroll]

Here’s the good news: The meat I’ve received from ButcherBox has been consistently great. No funky chicken, no sketchy-tasting beef—all of the meat tastes fresh and good and high-quality. I’ve tried a pretty good variety of items (chicken breasts, ground beef, various steaks) and have yet to try anything that I haven’t liked. 

The only downside: I wish they’d put dates on each package. I noticed that some of the chicken breasts have dates, but not all. Once they get separated, you’re out of luck. I have some meat from last summer I’ve yet to use, and I noticed that a few chicken breasts had a “best buy” date that had passed. This made me wonder if I should assume that everything from last summer is no longer in its best condition. (Did I mention that I’m leery of meat?)

In the future, I’ll probably mark the date I received the meat, just so I can better track its age. Because I live alone, it can take me a while to work through a single box, and sometimes, random steaks get buried in the back of my freezer. 

How many pounds of meat are in ButcherBox?

The amount of meat you’ll get in your ButcherBox will range from 9 – 26 pounds depending on a few factors—namely, the size of your box and the cuts you select. For example, the Classic Box allows you to select six items. As you can see from the screenshot below, a single selection will vary in weight, and you’ll get a larger volume of more affordable options, such as chicken breasts or ground beef, whereas you’ll receive a smaller amount of more expensive items. 

How fast does ButcherBox ship?

ButcherBox typically ships orders out 2-3 days after your bill date. In my experience, ButcherBox does ship their boxes overnight. I live in Chicago, and here, boxes are shipped using a company called JDS and typically arrive very early the morning after the box has been picked up (sometimes as early as 7am). 

ButcherBox packs their boxes with dry ice, and I’ve never experienced any issues with thawing. If anything, the meat was actually too cold to pick up due to the use of dry ice. 

This leads me to my petty gripe about ButcherBox: I’ve had a few boxes that contained loose dry ice. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize it until I’d pulled meat out, and dry ice spilled out all over the floor. I thought I’d cleaned it all up, but I hadn’t, and had the unpleasant experience of stepping on a piece of dry ice. This could’ve been particularly disastrous in a household with little kids running around. Needless to say, open your box with caution!  

Can you skip months with ButcherBox?

Yes! You can absolutely skip months with ButcherBox. For me, this is the biggest selling point. I live alone, and there are some months where I just fail to use much of the meat I’ve ordered. The process of skipping months is incredibly simple. Roughly 5 days before your order is set to be billed, ButcherBox will send you an email notification. This gives you time to log into the site, check your order settings, choose different cuts of meat, and/or postpone your order. Unlike a normal subscription program, ButcherBox offers tons of flexibility—you can move your delivery date by one week, one month, or even a few months! This is great for people who travel a lot, have a fluctuating budget, or just aren’t sure they’ll need that much meat. If I had been pigeonholed into monthly deliveries, I probably would’ve canceled ages ago! I’ve actually skipped the last ~6 months or so (what can I say? I’ve been incredibly lazy about cooking) and the process has been seamless. 

As you can see below, it’s super simple to skip your next ButcherBox delivery and reschedule it.

ButcherBox Review: Is ButcherBox worth it in 2021? 

After subscribing to ButcherBox for nearly two years, I’d say that ButcherBox is worth it. It’s given me access to the type of high-quality meat that, for me, has been incredibly difficult to find in my area. For someone on a keto diet, it’s a game-changer.

ButcherBox pros and cons: 

Pros: 

• High quality meat and a wide variety of options
• The ability to skip weeks (or even months) of your subscription
• Free product with each box (if you use a promo code when signing up)
• Fast delivery times

Cons:

• The cost may be prohibitive for some, particularly large families 
• If you have a small freezer, a single box can quickly take up most of your freezer space 
• They need to improve their packaging—loose dry ice can be dangerous.

ButcherBox promo codes 2021

TL;DR: Here’s a ButcherBox promo code. 

ButcherBox’s promos are ever-changing and tend to be seasonal (for example, summer grilling bundles). Some of the more recent promos have been:

• Keto bundle ft. 10 pounds of meat for free! 
• 6 burgers, 8 hot dogs, and 3lbs of chicken free  
• 2 lobster tails and 2 grass-fed ribeyes for free 
• Free bacon for life

I’ve done a bit of digging to find the best ButcherBox promo code and it seems every code on the usual coupon sites (Groupon, RetailMeNot, etc.) all drive to the same promo page…. Some of these sites just list outdated promos. This ButcherBox promo code link will drive you straight to the most up-to-date freebies available. 
I came across a few sites that will offer $10 or $15 off coupons, but if you do the math, the free meat is WAY more valuable. For example, the current promotion as of the date I wrote this (10 lbs of free meat) is roughly equal to a full box costing $149, so definitely go for the free product!

Question: Have you tried a ButcherBox competitor? If so, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how ButcherBox compares to some of the other meat delivery services!

The post Is ButcherBox Worth It? | ButcherBox Review 2022 appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

But can you create sexual tension over text? Yes!

In fact, when it comes to building sexual tension with a guy you like, text messages are often your strongest weapon. If you’re trying to win him over and make him want you, texting can be massive.

Think about it: The fun doesn’t have to end once your date is over – it can continue until the early hours. You can text him while you work, while you cook, and especially when you’ve just gotten out of the shower. Whenever you feel hot and bothered just thinking about him, pick up your phone and let him know. He’ll want you right there and then.

Naturally, we’re making this sound impossibly alluring – and also impossibly easy. The truth is, sexting isn’t as easy as all that.

To stoke the flames of desire using text and a few emojis, you need to know what you’re doing—otherwise, he might not reciprocate. Don’t worry—we’ve got your back. Here are several expert tips to help you learn how to create sexual tension over text.

Be creative.

The first rule of sexting is to never be dull. To hook his attention and keep hold of it, you need to be creative with your sexts. This might mean that you think up a few things to say before you start texting him. Your aim is to say something that he hasn’t heard before. Remember: you want him to he want YOU, and only you.

In other words, you’ll need to be creative with your flirting. Think outside the box. Be unpredictable. 

Keep him intrigued.

Don’t play it safe and don’t say something any girl would say to him. To truly seduce a man over text, you have to be different and exciting.

“I dreamt about you last night…”

Everybody likes a sexy dream – and he will love it if you have one about him. This flirty sexting technique always works, but you have to introduce it in stages. Start off by casually saying that you had a naughty dream last night and he was in it – OMG!

Using acronyms like ‘OMG’ and ‘LOL’ is crucial as it helps to make him feel more comfortable about the fact that you dreamed about him. It eases any tension before building sexual tension. Be vague and enticing. He will want to know more.

“What happened??”

Wait a while before elaborating on the dream. Keep him waiting. He isn’t going anywhere. You’ve already hooked him. Then, when you’re good and ready, go into a bit more detail. Tell him the two of you were caught up in a downpour and got muddy in a field. Then, as he begs to know more, you can tell him what happened next. How the two of you found shelter in a barn and started to kiss …

Be strategic with your language.

Ladies, if you want to kiss him, you might feel inclined to tell him via text:

“I want to kiss you.”

That’s sweet, but that’s hardly going to set his pulse racing. Instead, you need to use right kind of words—words that will really get him interested.

Don’t just tell him you want to kiss him. Instead, tell him how you want to kiss him. Maybe you want him to pin you up against a wall while you slide your tongue down his neck. 

Descriptive language is key when it comes to building sexual tension via text. You’ve got a keyboard in front of you, and your job is to use it. Don’t settle for clichés. Be specific. Go into details. Paint a scene so vivid that he actually feels involved in it. Essentially, if he can picture it, it’s going to turn him on massively.

Ask the right questions. 

You want to lift this out of the friend zone, which means asking the same old “how are you today?” questions just won’t cut the mustard.

Let him know what your intentions are by asking the right questions. Ask him if he’s feeling horny today. Ask him how he likes to be kissed and touched. Ask him the kind of questions you know will steer the conversation to the point where eventually he can’t take the heat anymore and just wants you. Lead the way for erotic answers. With these sexting tips, the sexual tension will be almost – but not quite – more than you can handle!  

Now, ready to turn things up a notch? Try leaving him a sexy voice message. 

For more from Claudia, be sure to check out TextWeapon.com. 

The post How To Create Sexual Tension Over Text appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

Ready to start your own urban garden? Here are some great ideas to start-up your first urban plot.

Grow Leafy Greens

It’s best to start your garden with plants that grow easily. There are plenty of choices that a novice gardener can handle, but leafy green vegetables are the easiest. Spinach is a particularly nutritious choice, but lettuce is also a good option. If you want to maximize your nutrition, avoid iceberg lettuce in favor of any of the other varieties. Not only is it better for your health, it also tends to cost more to buy it in a store, so it allows your garden to cut a larger chunk out of your grocery budget.

Start with Containers

The more control you have over your garden, the easier it will be to find success. Growing plants in your yard makes it much harder to keep control. After all, you can’t pull a plant out of the ground to bring it inside during bad weather. It’s also much harder to control the growing conditions in an outdoor garden than an indoor one. As such, you should consider starting your first garden in containers, such as pots or window trays. Don’t hesitate to give them time outside when the weather is appropriate, but you can still bring them in when they are threatened by the elements.

Credit: Tony Lam Hoang

Get Help

The problem with a container garden is that it’s hard to grow a large supply of plants in one. If you want more, you need to go outside. Preparing a yard or vacant lot for its first garden takes a lot of work, so don’t hesitate to call for help from a landscaping service or your friends. According to a Utah landscape design service, container units can easily be installed, even in a smaller space. A professional lawn service will be able to help deal with the technical details of your soil composition and fertilization while calling in the neighborhood gives you a chance to bond with friends and costs much less. Both can be useful, so weigh your needs before deciding which, if any, you should call.

Urban gardening is challenging, but the rewards certainly justify the work. It can produce a significant amount of food, beautify the area, and provide a wonderful chance to spend time outdoors. Starting a small garden is easy, so there’s no reason not to give it a try.

The post How To Start An Urban Garden appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

In 2017, there’s no excuse for not staying connected with your partner. Thanks to social apps for couples, it’s super easy to share your best moments, stay in touch when you’re apart, plan your next getaway together, and find out more about each other so that your relationship is always growing and getting stronger.

Yes, there is an app for everything now. In fact, there are about a hundred apps for everything! And before you grow skeptical about a social app for couples (should we really be relying on apps to keep the relationship candle burning?), just consider that apps are designed to make our lives easier and erase problems. The best apps for couples do just this.

If you’re thinking of downloading a social app for you and your partner, I’ve put together 7 of the sweetest and most useful that will enhance your relationship. Let’s take a look!

Simply Us

Simply Us is essential for those couples who are a little too eager and double book tables at a restaurant, or buy too much bread because he bought a loaf and you bought one at the same time. Oh, and how about the time you vacuumed the house in the morning and he did it again in the afternoon because he “didn’t realize” (despite how clean you’d made it!)?? Isn’t that always annoying!

Okay, “eager” was a nice way of saying “blonde”! But Simply Us means there are no more blonde moments. It helps you to both organize your shared life together so that you know who is taking care of what. If it’s his turn to feed the cats in the morning before work, you can sort this out via the app.

Simply Us is essential for organizing small projects and scheduling who will be doing what. It can also prevent arguments when something doesn’t get done. There doesn’t need to be any more “But YOU were supposed to do it!” All you need to do is show them the app!

“Look! there is YOUR name!”“Oh, yeah.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Couple – The Cutest Ever Social App for Couples

Couple is just so cute. Like, ridiculously cute. It’s for you loved-up couples who need a way of staying connected when you’re apart that’s better than text messages or Skype video calls, which are always breaking up due to dodgy Internet connections. With Couple, you can FaceTime, send texts, video messages, audio messages, fun stickers, doodles and much more. It works like SnapChat in that your messages are programmed to vanish forever within a set time.

It’s great fun, and you can make your messages as cute or as sexy as you want.

Avocado

This one’s premise is a tad similar to Simply Us in that it helps you to organize your life together as a couple. It comes with lists and calendars, but you can also send cute photos of yourselves shopping for bread (“I got the bread! Don’t buy another, we have too much!!”), doodles and messages, too.

We also like its interface – it’s very minimal and easy to use.

Happy Couple

Is there something about your partner you’ve always wanted to know … but always been too afraid to ask?

Happy Couple is a fun question and answers quiz game that pits partners against one another in a quest for points. You get to find out more about who you’re romancing while earning points, receiving tips – and taking on new challenges! Happy Couple was designed to take the boredom out of asking your partner questions. You each get just three minutes to ask and answer questions – and you have to guess their answers to see how much you already know about them. It’s a fab communication tool that brings couples together, inspiring conversation and revealing funny quirks you never knew your partner had. Careful, though – the more challenges you go through, the more taboo the topics get!

Do you dare?

TheIceBreak

TheIceBreak is ideal for partners who are still in their early stages. As you might have inferred from its name, it’s an app that helps two people get to know each other better by asking questions that “break the ice”. You exchange all kinds of questions that range from fun and cute to intimate and revealing. Questions center around anything and everything, from favorite songs and movies to your feelings about romance, love and the future. There are even existential questions, such as, “Is loving me tiring?” (The answer is “no,” BTW).

LokLok

LokLok is essentially “just another social app for couples” in that it lets you send instant messages complete with emojis, selfies and so on. But the genius lies in its ease of use. Instead of launching the app and waiting for it to launch before you start using it, LokLok lets you both do everything from your lock screen. How cool is that? This means that if your partner is the first person you text in the morning and last at night (and they will be, right?), you just have to pick up your phone, type out a quick message and send. It’s that simple.

These are just a few of the apps for couples that you can find out there. Use technology to your advantage and give them a chance. You’ll stay connected and have fun in the process!

The post 6 Social Apps For Couples Who Want To Get Closer appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

Me? Playing Dating Mind Games? I Don’t Think So!

Now, you might be asking yourself, how YOU could possibly be participating in the dating mind games you hate so much. Well, the truth is that some game playing is intentional and some are not. The unintentional kind happens without thinking or planning. It is as if you are on automatic pilot because you have been conditioned to behave a specific way in certain situations. You know, like the way we were conditioned to sit still and be polite in school or church. Or the way we are conditioned to hold no prisoners when we find the perfect pair of jeans at a sample sale.

How Could I?

First of all, take a deep breath and show yourself some compassion and kindness! Dating can be hard and cause all kinds of emotions and thoughts to rise to the surface. You are vulnerable to rejection and uncomfortable feelings when you date. On the surface, it may not seem that threatening but take a minute to think about how it feels to be rejected. It’s awful. And if you start to think of dates in terms of being rejected or feeling crappy, your autopilot it primed to kick in as a way to protect yourself.

Not everybody behaves in the same way when their dating autopilot kicks in but some common reactions are to be guarded/withdrawn or to be the person you think your date wants you to be. Neither one of these responses is an authentic representation of who you are. And thus the games begin!

How Do I Change The Pattern?

Mindful Dating is a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Mindfulness practices used to yield a more rewarding dating experience. I created and use this model with my clients. In simple terms, Mindful Dating teaches us to become more aware of how thoughts affect the way we feel, feelings affect the way we behave and behaviors affect the way we think while dating. We do this while learning to be in the present moment with our date and without changing, controlling or manipulating anything.

So when we start to have anxious thoughts about what our date is thinking, we become closed off because we are feeling vulnerable or we pretend we are totally into Mixed Martial Arts too so we are more likable, we can acknowledge what is happening and respond in a way we can feel good about. Mindful Dating can help you feel more empowered, see what games you are playing and focus on whether there is an actual connection

If you are ready to end the games, then it’s time to give Mindful Dating a try.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Chamin Ajjan is the author of Seeking Soulmate: Ditch The Dating Game and Find Real Connection. She is a licensed clinical social worker who did her undergrad work at the University of California, Berkeley, and attended graduate school at Columbia University. She has post graduate training in sex therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy and is a Diplomate of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She has been in private practice since 2004 and is the founder and Clinical Director of Chamin Ajjan Psychotherapy, a boutique clinic in New York City. In those years she has come to see that no matter what a patient cites as their reason for engaging in treatment, it usually all comes down to love. Romantic relationships and the attempt to find one continue to be the most talked-about subjects among her single clients. Chamin has blogged extensively about mindful dating on chaminajjan.com, and developed a unique mindful dating model that she uses in her psychotherapy practice. She lives with her husband, daughter and newborn son in Brooklyn, New York.

You can find her on Twitter: @ChaminAjjan, Instagram @chaminajjanpsych and Facebook.

The post How To End The Dating Mind Games appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

If you’re like me then you’ll give into all kinds of crazy things that you find on the internet. My favorite is DIY things, especially those that might benefit your hair, or skin, or just your general person. And if you’ve been following the blog long enough, then you also know that I’m not the only one at DU who loves DIY things.

Over the last few years, I have noticed that my hair has lost a lot its original shine and bounce. I also noticed that there was a lot more breakage happening than I would have liked. But despite every hairdresser I’ve ever been to telling me that it was natural, it hasn’t stopped me from looking for different ways to bring back that youthful glow. Or, at the very least, minimize the amount of breakage and subsequent wads of post-shower hair. Avocados aren’t just a tasty treat, they can actually be used for all kinds of things and have a lot of health benefits. Which brings me to this…

The avocado hair mask

One of the many things that it can help with, is your hair and skin. At least that’s what I’ve been told, and what I’ve read. So I thought I’d give it a try. I also had the hope that it would actually help. I didn’t want to do anything too complicated or have to spend money on it so I rummaged through my pantry and looked for a recipe that would use what I had.  So I found this recipe for a whipped Avocado hair mask.

You’ll need the following items:

1 ripe avocado, pitted and scooped out
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons honey
2-3 drops lavender essential oil (optional)
small – medium bowl
fork

I liked this recipe because it was super easy to make. It was also really nice because these are all things that I keep stocked in my kitchen. All you’re doing is mashing everything up into a bowl and then smearing it all over your head. You’ll want to massage your scalp for 3-5 minutes to help with blood circulation, This will help with hair growth and keep it healthy. I ended up using half of an avocado, the other half was spread over toast while I was waiting. Keep in mind, how much avocado you use will vary depending on your hair length and thickness.

I started applying the mixture to the ends of my hair and made my way up. Although, never pushing the mixture upwards. This can actually hurt your hair, so always apply products or masks using a downward motion. Once I got to my scalp I massaged it in gently for a few minutes before putting it up into a high bun and then putting a shower cap on. I kept the mixture in for about an hour. Once that hour was up I made sure to rinse my hair out very well. You’ll want to wash it at least twice, otherwise, you may end up with oily hair, While oil is part of what helps your hair, too much of it can be a bad thing.

Drum roll, please…

Now my hair isn’t that bad, at least that’s what people tell me anytime I try to explain it. Don’t get me wrong, there is a TON of breakage so it is hard to keep things smooth with all of the baby hairs growing out. But like anyone, I can be a bit self-conscious and have always prided myself on having really nice hair. I will be the little old lady with the nicely styled wigs because I can’t go out unless every hair is in its place.

I hoped that this would work, that I could finally throw away all of the half empty – highly disappointing bottles of specialized shampoo and conditioners. All of which were supposed to magically heal my hair and stop my sink from being filled with hair after every brush stroke.

The next morning I woke up like any other day. I had let my hair air dry the night before, I know one thing is for sure, using too much heat definitely helps create breakage. So I only apply heat when I really need to, which is pretty much never unless I’m in a rush.

The Results?

I knew that it wouldn’t be a miracle cure, I’m not that gullible. But I hoped that it would help my hair at least. The biggest change that I noticed was that my hair was curlier than normal and slightly shinier. My hair has a slight wave to it and when I’m feeling really ambitious (and have the product) it can be really curly.

The first set of images is how my hair normally is, without any product. The slight wave on one side and almost straight on the other side. Then ends are generally dull and I tend to get split ends rather quickly. I can normally go about 3 days without washing, I have noticed that this has helped a bit. And with the exception of a bit of hair smoother, I am almost compeltely hair product free.

These photos are post Avocado hair mask. The waves are most visible and some of the curls are definitely more defined. There was still a bit of frizz and you can definitely see the baby hairs poking out. But, I also noticed that my hair was a bit softer than normal. The ends didn’t seem as dry as they normally do in the morning. So that was a good sign!

my conclusion?

Obviously, there is no miracle cure to growing older and losing nutrients that keep you looking young. But, I loved how easy this was to make and apply. And I especially loved that for once, I used something that actually made a difference to my hair. I will be using this recipe more often and look forward to seeing what it does to my hair. Now, if only it would even out the waviness on both sides of my head!

Are there any DIY hair tips that work for you?

The post DIY Avocado Hair Mask: Because Avocados Aren’t Just For Eating appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

So the last time I wrote, I remember wondering to myself what I should do about my situation. It felt like I was going to sacrifice everyone’s happiness for my own. It felt like I was being a horrible, mother, wife and daughter for even considering leaving my marriage. So many of my fears were about what other people would think. The life I spent years building would have to be rebuilt. People would reject me, they would judge me, I couldn’t imagine the pressure. This was compounded by a lingering sense of denial about being an actual lesbian. What if it was all in my head and I was just confused? I am sure there are millions of people who would advise me to just keep persevering. Who’s to say they were all wrong? Why sacrifice a sure thing for the unknown?

I took the plunge.

I filed for divorce. I came out to my world and here are some of the things that I’ve learned in the few months or so that I’ve been out of the closet.

The kids are doing well. My fears about childhood trauma of divorce are mostly gone. I have a better relationship with my kids, we go out and do things because I am less depressed, I have more energy. I have more time for them now that I’m not constantly arguing with their dad. I am making big steps to becoming the mom I wanted to be, but never had the physical or emotional strength to be. Depression is real and because of it I was not the mom I wanted to be. For me it is clear, I was not a depressed straight woman, I was a depressed closeted lesbian.

Do it your way, everyone’s a critic, people say you don’t have to come out to everyone, others say you should stop hiding who you are. Do what is best for you, if you want to shout your gayness from the top of a mountain, then do it.

I stopped pretending.

I have a new-found peace of mind because I am not pretending anymore, I don’t feel like a fake. It’s a gradual process, some days especially at first I just thought who am I kidding, nobody is going to think I’m a lesbian, they all think I’m some confused stupid girl who is throwing away the perfect life. Interestingly enough, the more I came out and stopped hiding, the less I felt like a fake. And now, I don’t have the feeling like I need to prove something to anyone (most of the time at least). Its like I can finally breathe, I don’t need to fake it, I don’t feel like a fake. I had been feeling like a wolf in sheep clothing for so long, that when I watched openly gay people in the media or in real life, I would just want to cry, they made it so abundantly crystal clear that I was hiding, I was ashamed, or disappointed with myself for the ‘choice’ to be straight. The more that I knew I was hiding and my life was a lie, the worse things got at home. It was far easier to fake it when I was less self-aware.

Taking Things Public

It’s a slow process. Holding hands with another girl in public was very awkward at first. I thought people were all staring at me, waiting to scream at the top of their lungs ‘fucking dyke’ or something of the sort. After years of hiding, the sense of being so exposed, having this secret ‘me’ on display for the world, my mental state took a while to adapt. On the swing side, finding out how much PDA is the right amount is also hard. Sometimes it feels like I’m going off the deep end with PDA. I never used to be ok with PDA when I dated men. I had every excuse under the sun. Now, PDA is something I don’t think twice about, and I feel comfortable with it. Perhaps this is because deep down, I didn’t want people to view me as straight, or possibly because I didn’t want to be touched by men, or both. In the past I have not been genuinely proud of who I was dating, no matter how awesome they were, deep down I didn’t want to be in the relationship, whether I admitted it to myself or not, I stuck around because there was no reason to leave, not because I wanted to stay. I couldn’t imagine a relationship where I wanted to be there, there was always some sense of duty or obligation. I always viewed my self-sacrificing situation as an admirable characteristic. How noble of me of to lay down my life for the better of others. Its a crock of shit. I was miserable, and my misery was infectious. There was no honor in my ‘selfless’ existence.

I’m more invested

When my heart wasn’t on the line, I had all the confidence in the world, but as soon as my emotions got pulled into the mix, I was suddenly a scared kid, nervous, insecure, over excited. The one thing that kept up the momentum is chemistry, we have so much chemistry. The day we first kissed it was like I was somehow possessed and I pulled a huge bag of courage out of thin air. Walked over to her car, got in and kissed her, hands shaking, my heart felt like it was gonna beat out of my chest, and explode. In comparison, kissing boys was like trying on shoes, I had so much confidence, calm, cool, collected. I never had so much fear of rejection or fear of making a mistake. I never had much care for the other person’s wellbeing, if I broke his heart I didn’t care much, I don’t feel this way with her I want her to be happy, safe, taken care of emotionally and I could never imagine hurting her and not hurting myself far more.

Intimacy Has Changed

Intimacy. Sex always felt like an obligation, or a currency of some kind. I never had the feeling of wanting sex simply because it’s fun. More like riding a bike, or eating spaghetti, sex just existed, it was not good – not bad, just is something I did. I was told that I never smile during sex, I don’t look happy like I’m having a good time.

Now, when I am with my girlfriend, I feel happy, and sometimes I even smile. I honestly didn’t know it was a natural reaction to ever smile during sex. I have a newly discovered understanding what people have been saying my whole life about sexual desire, I understand it now. There’s this feeling of, god I’d love to get you in bed right now…. But we are working… an hour later, god I want to get you in bed…. But we are eating dinner…. OMG we finally made it to the bedroom! Mine! Lets do this, Hell ya! I’ve never wanted sex so much that it stayed with me longer than a fleeting moment, of hmm I’m feeling ‘in the mood’ but it passes and never would return. More often than not, when the mood would strike me it was when I was alone, but by the time I got home to my husband the mood would pass. I could probably count on one hand the number of times in our 5 year marriage I saw him and “jumped his bones” undoubtedly due to pent up sexual frustration and a significant amount of booze. Towards the end I could only get the stomach to have sex if I was drinking, and even then on occasion I could remember how disgusted with myself I was during it. It got to the point where he’d ask me to drink if he wanted to get laid that night. This is probably one of the biggest reasons I don’t like to have sex with my girlfriend if I’ve been drinking, I want to remember everything, I want to remember the feeling, and the way she smells, and the soft skin of her body, I don’t want to lose a single detail, I want to remember it all.

The part of sex before and after is something I seriously enjoy now for the first time in my life. There’s a whole world other than part A goes into part B and you move around a bit… I used to want sex to be as quick as possible that gets the job done. It was more like mutual masturbation but not really emotionally connecting. More often than not, it felt like I was doing HIM some favor like you should be grateful I let you do this cause you know it’s not my thing. (Yes we talked about just having a completely nonsexual relationship, we talked about being swingers, we talked about open relationships for finding a ’third’) Thinking back on this outlook of sex makes me sad I didn’t know better sooner, but I am so very happy to discovered what I can only assume sex is supposed to be.

I feel this deeply personal tie to her like I can feel what she’s feeling and vice versa. It’s beyond physical and so very mental, watching the way she moves it’s like the most beautiful art, makes me want to cry with joy that I have found anyone on this earth who can consistently move me so completely both physically and emotionally. In that moment, I know I love her and our love is beautiful. Feelings like that make me so grateful I came out of the closet. I know its worth it, all the bad that comes with a divorce, it’s worth it in the end. I have her, I have my smile back, I can breathe again, and I feel like finally, I am starting to know who I am again. I broke free of the trance-like existence I had living in the closet, It’s like the world has color again.

The post Confession: I Left My Straight Marriage And Finally Found Happiness appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

If you can relate to the above scenarios, here’s what you need to know about attempting a no-spend weekend.

What is a No-Spend Weekend?

A no-spend weekend is just what it sounds like: a weekend where you spend nothing — not from your wallet, bank account, checkbook or credit card. During this time, you are only be allowed to use the things that you’ve already paid for like Netflix, groceries, gas and utilities.

Ground Rules to Follow on a No-Spend Weekend

Moolanomy has some foundational rules to follow when going no-spend for that 60-hour stretch from Friday evening to Monday morning:

• It needs to be somewhat spontaneous: If you plan this weekend, say, four weeks out, you’ll be tempted to stock up on supplies and thus overspend on the front end. That defeats the whole purpose.
• Everyone in the house should get on board: This is tough if you have roommates or small children, but having a partner in crime for the weekend builds in a little accountability and makes the whole exercise more fun.
• Don’t start blowing money on Monday: This is the flip side to the spontaneity rule. If you try to reward your thriftiness by spending after the fact, you will have missed the whole point.
• A no-spend weekday might make more sense for you: If you do not spend a lot during the weekend, you should identify other days that your wallet is hit hard. That would be the most appropriate time to have spend-free days in order to have the most impact on your savings.

What to Do During a No-Spend Weekend

If your normal weekend routine involves going out with friends, switching to no-spend mode can be tricky. Start by thinking of ways to get your friends to come to you: Maybe you can do a game night or a movie night at your place. Or, you can catch up with friends you see less often by giving them a call or FaceTiming someone who’s far away.

Also, opting out of spending has additional benefits for anyone who likes to be active (or would like to be). You can go outside for a run, walk or a bike ride for free. That’s two birds with one stone. And if the weather isn’t great, take this time to build an everyday exercise routine — even getting in the habit of 10 push ups in the morning plus 5 minutes of meditation will do wonders.

You can also take advantage of the local museums, parks or whatever great free attractions your city has. Bring your own drinks and snacks to avoid the temptation of buying them while out there.

By the way, if you’ve convinced someone to join you on the no-spend weekend journey, it’s worth sitting down in advance and making a plan. You don’t have to account for every minute of the weekend in your itinerary, but make enough plans so that neither of you gets bored and lapses into spending mode. No matter what, for your no-spend weekend to be successful, it is important for you to be well-prepared. Plan a few days in advance to make sure the necessities like groceries, gas for your vehicle and food are available.

Then, once you get a few weekends like this under your belt, you might be able to institute regular no-spend rules. Your bank account will be grateful.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Casey Meehan writes about personal finance and investment strategies at StockHax.com. He’s also a musician and business owner. You can find him on Twitter at @epicpresence.

The post On A Budget? Have a Fun No-Spend Weekend! appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

The problem is, it never really works.

When we cut off parts of ourselves to be in a relationship, eventually we end up judging ourselves. Judging our partners, and in turn, we resent everything about the relationship. My suggestion to change all of this is simple; create a divorceless relationship with yourself, a relationship that is about you being you and never cutting off any part of you.

Here are three tips on how you can be true to yourself in your current or next relationship:

1. Commit to Care for You

The idea that we have to sacrifice ourselves to prove we care has destroyed many relationships. The reality is, when we’re fully committed to caring for ourselves, we actually have more care for others. When we sacrifice and cut off parts of ourselves, resentment takes over and kindness and care go out the window.

What if everything you did was a kindness to you? What if you made the choice to care for you every single day? What would that create for you? What would that contribute to your partner?

2. Do What Makes You Happy

What do you love to do? Do you love to paint? To hike? To read? Maybe you enjoy dancing. Maybe it’s travel. Whatever it is that brings you joy, choose to do those things. Choose to do something fun every single day. We get this idea that we have to do everything together. What ends up happening is that if you like to jog and your partner doesn’t, you stop jogging. This is how you start to lose yourself in a relationship.

Do what you find fun. Do what brings you joy. In doing this you will bring that energy into your relationship and it will create something greater for both of you.

3. Choose Gratitude for You

When you first began your relationship, it was because your partner fell in love with YOU. If you start to lose yourself in a relationship, then the “you” they fell in love with is no longer there. Keep all of yourself in your relationship.

One way to do this is to choose gratitude for yourself. Take a minute everyday to say thank you to you. What do you adore about yourself? What do you enjoy about you? What gift are you to the world that you’ve not yet acknowledged?

Much of what is written on relationships is about how to work together, how to communicate better, how to have better sex. The thing is, if you start to lose yourself in a relationship, if you are divorcing you in the relationship, then nothing will work. You are the most important ingredient in your relationship and you being you in totality is the key to having a fun, playful, dynamic, enjoyable relationship with total ease.

The post 3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Lose Yourself In A Relationship appeared first on Daily Urbanista.

Eat Healthy

Like the rest of your body, your hair needs the proper nutrition to stay healthy. Eat fresh vegetables and fruit, fish, lean meats, nuts, and dairy foods to nourish your hair as well as your body. A healthy diet works from the inside out to give you silky, shiny locks.

Essential Oil Massage

An essential oil massage is relaxing and will provide a natural conditioner that’s free from chemicals. Before you shampoo, rub an essential oil into your hair from roots to tips. Massage your scalp with the oil as well, then cover with a warm towel. Leave the oil on for at least 20 minutes or overnight before washing out. Essential oils like doTERRA oils work well for hair, and can be diluted when added to a shampoo or conditioner. You can also try other oils such as avocado, argan, olive, sweet almond, castor, jojoba, wheat germ, linen and coconut oil.

Avoid Hot Water

When you wash your tresses, avoid using too much hot water. Hot water strips the oils from your hair, so wash with warm water instead. For softer and silkier hair, give your hair a final rinse in cold water after you’ve shampooed and conditioned. Cold water helps keep the moisture locked into your hair. Towel dry gently afterwards, and don’t pull on your hair. Rough toweling can lead to breakage and messy tangles.

Don’t Wash Your Hair Every Day

Keep your hair shiny by not washing your tresses every day. Washing your hair every day removes the natural oils and leaves your hair looking dry and frizzy. Try washing every two or three days to give your head a chance to produce the oils your hair needs.

Combing Your Hair

Improperly combing your hair can cause breakage. Put mild pressure on a soft-bristled comb while combing to prevent breakage. Mild pressure also helps to spread the natural oils from the scalp to the hair tips. At first, comb the hair tips. Then gradually work your way up to higher sections to gently detangle your hair. Then, comb from root to tip. Don’t comb your hair while it’s wet. Wet hair can stretch and break more easily than dry hair. To detangle wet hair, work your fingers gently through the tangles.

Soft and shiny hair takes a bit of effort, but proper hair care is the only way to get shiny, silky and smooth locks.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Eileen O’Shanassy is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Flagstaff, AZ. She writes on a variety of topics and loves to research and write. She enjoys baking, biking, and kayaking. Check out her Twitter @eileenoshanassy.

The post How to Get Silky Smooth Locks in Five Easy Steps appeared first on Daily Urbanista.