In 1975 Rosita’s family fled the invasion to Aileu, chased by paramilitaries. They kept moving over a number of years, often without enough food. At last they surrendered, but their problems continued. Her family members were detained and her father-in-law was killed because he was accused of spying for the clandestine movement.

They held my father-in-law then Hansip killed him, and before he was dead they dragged him to his grave and buried him alive. At that time it was difficult to find his body, because the situation was still tense, and we had to wait to go and collect his body.

Rosita was taken to the military base and forced to dance with the soldiers.

At that time I was still very young, Hansip came and took us to dance with the soldiers. They threatened us, “If you don’t go and dance, we will shoot you dead.” Every night for two months we were taken…

She now works in her field, planting corn and sweet potatoes and selling the produce. Sometimes her husband works on road projects to supplement their income.

Augusta put aside a portion of every harvest to feed the resistance members, including her brothers, who met on their farm three times a month. After spies reported the family to the local military post, her mother, brothers and older sister were taken to jail. Augusta was left behind to take care of her blind father. Almost every night the Indonesian military and civil defense forces came to the house to intimidate them, kicking down the door and forcing her to “dance” with the soldiers. Subsequently she and her brother were exiled to Atauro Island for three years.

Augusta now lives with her three children after her husband passed away due to illness. She supports her family by selling produce and raising small livestock. She has never received any government assistance, and says,

If you speak of justice, I don’t feel like I have justice, I only have suffering.

Josefa fled with her family to the forest following the Indonesian invasion in 1975, when she was only 12 years old. There, she lost her entire family except for one brother. She later became active in the clandestine movement, for which she was repeatedly arrested, detained, tortured, and raped.

Then they electrocuted me until I fell down near my uncle. They burned my body with cigarettes until I fainted. They waited until I was conscious, then lifted me up and sat me in a chair. They poured hot tea on me, kicked my legs which became swollen and bled, they continued to stomp on my feet. They interrogated me for two hours, then I was taken back to my cell. My uncle never returned to the cell. I never saw him again.

In order to avoid retaliation against her family, she was forced to marry a member of the civilian defense unit (Hansip), but she continued to support the resistance by using certain privileges she had in her position as a civil servant.

She finally had the courage to leave her husband and marry a man who accepted her past. Although she gets support from her child who is now grown, Josefa worries about her future and wishes the government would provide her some assistance, in recognition of her sacrifices for her country.

We don’t have stable jobs, we garden to try and meet our families needs. My child is already married and has his own family. He helps to support us. I really want the government to look after me and my family– not because I can’t look after my family anymore but because I think I deserve it. I need something in return for what I have suffered. I want a good life for me and my family and, for now, I can’t achieve it on my own without government assistance.

Justice should be ongoing, because only with justice can we get truth about what we suffered. There especially important is justice for all the women for whom independence cost them their dignity..

After Terezinha’s father was arrested on 10 June 1980, the military came back to arrest her. Only 15 years old, despite both threats and promises, she revealed nothing, and they took Terezinha, her mother and her older sister to Atauro by ferry. On the ferry, they saw her father and uncle, who had been imprisoned for three months and were tied up and in terrible condition. The family was held on the island for four years. She says:

There is still no justice for my family, or for me. No one from the government has ever come and asked us anything. This is the first time I have told my story. I really want the government to pay attention to me, my family and to all the other victims.