We’re here alone, Draza and Terry have gone out to the ranch for the week. We’re here to get ready for Calvin’s state championship bike race on Saturday.
We unloaded our bags, brought our things in in the dark of night, fumbling for light switches. We had to unpack a few groceries we bought for breakfast in morning. The kitchen is different.
Lots of things are different actually. When we went to the basement, Calvin claimed Wendy’s bedroom. He was mildly curious when I told him. And I’m in David’s room, only when we were kids David’s room was sheets of plywood nailed. And my makeshift room was sheets tacked to the rafters, with a piece of PVC strung thru a rope to make a bar to hang my clothes on. Because I lived at Aunt Draza’s house for a few months when I was teenager. But that’s a story from the pool of stories I never tell.
I looked around the house last night, noting the things that have changed. So many things have changed! Her big roll-top desk that was always in the front room is gone. And where is the piano? The picture of Uncle Terry thru the slats of the barn at the ranch isn’t on the wall any more. And the kitchen has been redone. And of course, the basement is finished. But other things are the same. I found the picture of the temple in the mist, still in it’s frame, in the basement. And most of the furniture is the same – antique, but not the stuff you buy in a strip mall over the weekend, but the sort that’s been inherited, handed down thru the generations of ranchers who didn’t have money for anything new, but certainly knew how to care for what they had.
Every bed is covered with a home made quilt, which conjures in my soul the words
Summer nights are warmer than a whisper beneath a quilt somebody’s mother by hand.
And I lie under the quilt and breathe deep the scent of Aunt Draza’s house, and feel very comfortable and content, and I wonder at all the mistakes I’ve made in my life. How did I fall for every wrong choice made by my own parents. How am I in this mess of bigger is better? And how do I get a fresh start? How did I get a small house that’s open to every passing thru traveler? How do I have a home that is clean and cared for, but simple and so full of the spirit that people come like moths drawn to this one burning flame of light and goodness?
I’ve maybe never felt more akin to that 16 year old me who sought refuge here 30 years ago (in just a few months!). I feel broken and discouraged and really truly lost. I wish I could hide in Aunt Draza’s basement for a bit, and hit reset on everything. But I can’t. Too many people rely on me. I can’t extricate myself from my life. And I just don’t know how to fix it. But I’ll take laying in her basement under her quilts for a few days any time I can get it.
Amen.
PS- at home I have two things from Aunt Draza: a quilt she made 29ish years ago. She made it for my mom, but my mom (being herself) didn’t like it. So I claimed it. It was in heavy rotation for many years, but it rarely gets used any more. It sits at the top of the linen closet, safe from the kids who have stained it a few times. But when I get home, I’m going to pull it down and put it on a couch that I sit on regularly. And also the poem – The House By The Side of the Road, that is right next to my front door, was hand-written in Aunt Draza’s calligraphy.
The first one was flowers from the garden. I wasn’t really sure if it would work to mail flowers from the garden . . . but I gave it a go, and it looked like it worked decently well.
I cut fresh flowers from the garden one morning, wrapped them in wet paper towels & a zip lock bag all tied with rubber bands, and shoved them in an insulated cardboard box with a frozen ice pack taped down at the bottom.
I wanted baby Sunshine to have some flowers from home for the week.
The Second Package
The second package I sent almost a month later – and this is what it contained:
I felt like my heart was bursting, so I went in and woke up Andrew and Nate. I needed to tell someone. I woke them up, told them the news (to which they expressed sweet condolences) and then told them to go back to bed until church.
On the Monday a week following, Andrew, Nate and I all went down to the conference center to attend the viewing of the prophet. It was a hallowed moment of honor for a man who has given this world so much.
It was so important that she receive it before the rodeo next week. So she could wear it with us on the night-of.
Oh how I miss that sweet girl.
]]>For the dance they did pictures at the Heritage park and dinner at our house. Then they went to the dance and over to (whose?) house for the after party.
It was a fun evening by all reports.
He also takes good care of me. One day we went to the cabin, and while I was outside playing with Andrew and Nate, he made us all dinner. He’s thoughtful and helpful like that. We like to go to lunch, and there’s this one restaurant- our restaurant that he loves to go to, called Schmidt’s. We’ve gone there for years. It’s the sort of place that only old ladies go to for lunch in the afternoon. Old ladies, and Everett. It’s the best.
Today he got his braces off! It’s such a fun milestone to reach. But I do miss little Everett terribly. I miss little Everett, but I’m thoroughly enjoying 15 year old Ejo too!
But Calvin had an amazing showing! He took 3rd place in his junior men’s category, and 11th overall. What an amazing showing, especially considering he had just done five races the weekend before. This kid works so hard, and those efforts are paying off.
The first bike race of 2025 happened in Temecula, California, at Vail Lake. Calvin rode down with his buddies in the Maybird van, and Wyatt and I flew down to see his race.
We flew in to John Wayne airport – just minutes from where Olivia lives. But . . . we did NOT go see her (tempting as it was). We remembered when we were her age and how indignant we would be if our parents intruded on our adventures. So we let her do her work, and instead headed the opposite direction, to Newport Beach, where it was raining too hard to even bother with anything more than a quick photo standing just outside our car.
Then we made the beautiful drive down to Temecula through the winding southern California countryside. It was really lovely (and also rainy on that particular day).
The next morning Calvin had two races – first, a qualifier, and then a short track race (instead of 20 miles or something for a XC race, it was only like 7 miles or something easy). After the qualifier he had the actual race and did great! It was fun to watch a race in a different format. COOL!
The next day Calvin had his regular XC race. He had a really good showing at that, and I was happy to be back in the swing of bike races!
After the race Wyatt and I took of to San Diego for the rest of the afternoon. We just went and did the Midway museum. It was a good time. We thought about getting dinner there too, in the Gaslamp district, but in the end we couldn’t find parking, so we just headed back to Temecula.
The last day Calvin signed up for an amateur race, and had a really strong showing in that race. He was a little nervous because the next weekend he had True Grit – and endurance race in St. George. But I think overall he had fun. The best part about these races was the course. It was crazy with jumps and drops and all sorts of technical stuff. It was so fun!
After his race the van packed up and hit the road, and Wyatt and I drove back up to Newport where we spent a couple hours until it was time to head to the airport to catch our flight home. It was a fun weekend!
Everett and Nate participated in a multi-school Chinese New Year celebration. They both performed with their Chinese classes. It was fun to see!
Calvin (finally!) answered cute Ava Pratt, who asked him to the sweethearts dance.
Carrie and I took the cousins to play at Airborne for an afternoon. Hopefully we can make something like this a more regular thing!
I painted! Just a smidge, but with hope of doing more.
Roo went to the temple with his buddy, Jaxon.
Olivia left for California. She landed safe and sound and after some niceties with the Mission President and his wife, went to work!
Nate & I went to Aiden, Declan & Oaklee’s school play, the Jungle Book, where Aiden was a vulture, Dec was a monkey, and Oaklee was a stage hand. It was such a fun and cute production. Great job, cuties!
Nate & Roo had basketball games,
Nate had a bunch of friends over for backyard football and fugitive. It snowed pretty good, so they also watched the Sandlot inside.
Roo went skiing with Cy Pratt.
Everett went and worked with Dad and Reimann and Jace down in Salt Lake moving some glass doors, and then went up to his buddy, David’s house to hang out.
Calvin went to Sweethearts with Ava Pratt.
]]>And I LOVED IT!
A few weeks later, after Olivia had left, he told me he was speaking in church on Sunday, and would I like to come. You know I did! So I went to Adam’s farewell-of-sorts. It was wonderful to see this man serving and doing what he could to help the Lord. It was a breath of much needed fresh air. Love Adam.