Painsomnia: What It’s Like Lying Awake With Chronic Pain

Rhiann Johns — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 20:12:24 +0000

Painsomnia: a form of insomnia caused by chronic pain, where exhaustion meets a body that refuses to rest What Painsomnia Feels LIKe at Night 3:17 glows from my bedside clock, mocking me in the darkness. It’s a time I’ve come to know intimately, not because I’ve been out living, but because painsomnia, that insomnia caused [...]

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Dynamic Disability: The Truth About Life in an Unpredictable Body

Rhiann Johns — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 15:22:18 +0000

Mornings Are Negotiations Every morning, I wake up and feel a quiet kind of betrayal. With a dynamic disability, my body, once something I trusted without question, now greets me with an ache I never agreed to. I lie there, still, taking inventory: fatigue, pain, dizziness, or that familiar, nameless sense of wrongness. Living this way [...]

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The Magic of Hope In the Storm of Chronic Illness

Rhiann Johns — Fri, 29 Aug 2025 21:14:25 +0000

Living with chronic illness can feel like being trapped in an endless storm. In this deeply personal essay, I explore how hope — whether in the form of travel, small joys, or quiet moments — helps me find light in the darkest days.

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Disability And Its Hidden Anger: This Body Betrays Me

Rhiann Johns — Wed, 07 May 2025 14:32:17 +0000

I live in a body that rarely feels like home. Though it belongs to me, it often acts like a stranger—an unwilling companion I never chose but must carry. I hold my breath, always bracing for the moment my symptoms strike and knock me off my feet. My legs give out without warning, sending me [...]

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Fatigue: A More Fitting F-Word For My Chronic Life

Rhiann Johns — Sun, 26 Jan 2025 11:28:10 +0000

F**k. A profanity I find myself crying out when the pain becomes unbearable. Or after hurting myself after yet another fall. It’s a word that perfectly encapsulates the pain, frustration, heartache and the many downs of living with a chronic illness. Yet, it’s not the F-word that springs to mind when I think about my [...]

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‘Joy Existed Even if My Memories Were Not Free From Pain.’

Rhiann Johns — Tue, 20 Aug 2024 21:24:55 +0000

The first feeling I had as I stared at the confirmation email that landed in my inbox was excitement. I felt exhilarated at the prospect of escaping the gilded cage that illness had created for me. I was excited by the promise of a change of scenery from this gilded cage my home has become. [...]

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I’m on Benefits, But Stigma Makes Me Feel Ashamed

Rhiann Johns — Wed, 01 May 2024 11:53:21 +0000

How do you feel when you find a brown envelope in your mail? I never used to pay much notice; instead, I ripped into the envelope without any thought. Now, however, the sight of one sends me into a tailspin. Since I became disabled and unable to work, I’ve had the constant stress and worry [...]

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Why I’m Not Faking Being Sick; I’m Faking Being Well

Rhiann Johns — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 22:47:02 +0000

"I'm Not Faking Being Sick; I'm Faking Being Well."

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6 Novels That Get Chronic Illness Right

Rhiann Johns — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 22:34:13 +0000

In my last blog post, I shared how I often feel invisible when reading books because I can never find authentic portrayals of chronic illness in fiction. In this post, I share 6 beautiful novels about chronic illness with authentic and relatable chronically ill characters. The books surrounding me offer opportunities as I lie on [...]

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As Invisible In Books As I Am In Life

Rhiann Johns — Sat, 03 Dec 2022 11:01:45 +0000

Why We Need More Representation of Chronic Illness in Books In my bedroom, everywhere I turn, whichever cupboard I open, I find a book. I regularly and with considerable enthusiasm rescue books from the bookshelves at any place that sells them. I lean on books not just for the pure enjoyment of reading but also [...]

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