Try To Relax

Bakker — Sat, 12 Mar 2022 23:47:43 +0000

I wish our dog Cinnamon would find a way to relax…she seems so tense!

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Jason Pimpinella

Bakker — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 15:54:12 +0000

Saddened to hear of the passing of my friend Jason Pimpinella. Rest easy with God brother.

The post Jason Pimpinella first appeared on BAKKER.ca.

Uh-Oh!

Bakker — Sun, 28 Mar 2021 17:53:37 +0000

I bought an elliptical machine a few hundred years ago. So far, it has been doing a fantastic job as a clothes hanger. Yesterday, I finally worked up the motivation to try it out. It’s a pretty cool machine; it shows distance travelled, calories burned, and how fast you are going. It also has a heart-rate monitor, but I don’t understand this reading that it gave me…does anyone know what is means?

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No Skin Off My Potatoes!

Bakker — Sun, 07 Feb 2021 22:25:21 +0000

I was today year’s old when I learned that there is no point in peeling potatoes, it is a waste of time. Whether you are making French Fries, sMashed Potatoes, Sheppard’s Pie, or pretty much anything else just leave ‘em on; no real taste difference. The main difference is that it’s healthier; that’s the only downside.

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Captain Sir Thomas Moore

Bakker — Wed, 03 Feb 2021 17:48:59 +0000

Dear Captain Sir Thomas Moore,

You are a hero, a role model, and a gentleman.

Thank you sir, the world needs more people like you.

Love,

Bakker

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Imagine all of the Heavy Truck traffic on New Year’s Eve!

Bakker — Sun, 31 Jan 2021 15:23:50 +0000

Peaty Always Smiles When He Eats Chips

Bakker — Sun, 31 Jan 2021 01:58:33 +0000

Our Shi-tzu Peaty always smiles when he is about to eat a chip. I have no idea why he does this, but I find it hilarious!

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I Just Might

Bakker — Fri, 04 Dec 2020 15:00:40 +0000

Spherical plains
Dividing the days
You shake your tongue
You’re moving on
No-one else near could

Venom and rage restrained
Defining your caged recourse
Finitely close
Light years away
Nothing else near could

No cliched rhetoric speeches
Said you’d heard it all before
And I’m standing right beside you
No-one else near could

Five days without you
Stealing colors from the nights
Yearn for beside you
In the voices of my mind
Ten years beside you
Seems a blink in my thought’s eye
From here to to Tuesday
Is all you’re asking for

Ten years beside you

Seems a blink in my thought’s eye
Cold wind and miles of pavement
Ember’s burn in sight
I feel redemption
Salvation by your side
If can’t wait until tomorrow
Then I just might

-Bakker

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Don’t Be A D##k…Pic Sender

Bakker — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 15:00:22 +0000

Don’t do it, just don’t. Don’t be a D##k pic sender. I mean don’t send unsolicited pictures of your private parts to strangers. It’s not going to work, and it is rude. My friend has sought romance on some online dating sites, and the volume of prick pics that get sent to her inbox is unbelievable…I had no idea until she tried to show an example on Facebook live the other night (duh!)…and got cut off (double duh!)…that this kind of stuff went on. I know that some couples like to email and text naughty stuff to each other, and that’s fine IF YOU ACTUALLY KNOW EACH OTHER, but who introduces themselves with a picture of his fully erect junk? When my pal held her phone up to the camera with an example of her c##k shot compilation, I flinched, and almost puked, it was awful. I feel bad for anyone who opens a message from a stranger and has to see that, its like getting slapped. It’s f##king disgusting…knock it off.

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Ring Around The Covid

Bakker — Mon, 30 Nov 2020 00:13:17 +0000

Mask around your pie-hole,

Stay home, or you’re an arsehole

Six feet, six feet,

Distance all around!

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