When the #metoo movement first surfaced, I had more than one reason to join, but at the time I needed to pray about it. I had gone years in silence already and I became more wrapped up in hearing other women’s stories, which were horrific, and didn’t allow myself to relive my story, instead I immersed myself in theirs. I never really was led by God to share then. And for that reason, I have refrained from posting. I have continued to pray though it and now for whatever reason I know the time is right. 

God did use the half-time show at the Super Bowl, which was sexually  saturated and very inappropriate, to move me to a place of speaking. To me it was an in-your-face degradation of women. Objectifying women—whether they willingly participate or not –– is wrong. Crotch shots, sex simulation and pole dancing are an affront to women. The deepest part of my being NO LONGER WANTED TO REMAIN silent…I am not sharing in an effort to name names, or for sympathy, but to inform and raise much awareness, that if it happened to me six times (and currently I am choosing to share four of those), I can promise you there are countless others who have sat in silence, and many who have not gotten the help they need to live a life of significance that God intends them to lead. The time is right to share my truth which comes with a heart that has forgiven, but desperately desires to take pain suffered and use it to serve a greater purpose. I love what we read in the book of Esther when Mordecai challenged Esther to speak up, “For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14) I know I am not in a royal position, but I am a woman who can speak up in hopes of saving someone else. 

Currently I am 57 years old. When I was 17 and a senior in high school, a man who I was supposed to trust in an authority position walked up to me, grabbed my crotch and groped me. At the time I was so naive and in shock at his approach that I just froze. After a few minutes, I stepped back in a daze and could barely speak, but said I was sick and left. I threw up on the way to my car. This was a man who supposedly was helping me to prepare for America’s Junior Miss, instructing me on how to walk on a big stage by watching me walk and keep my head up. I had just won South Carolina’s Junior Miss. That is all I will say other than, at that time, I never told anyone…the shame of thinking I did something wrong and the embarrassment of it all overwhelmed me. My mother had shared with me about sex in a marital relationship, but never about the possibility of men ever being inappropriate and what that might look like.  I was very protected growing up and so I was very, very naive.

He never had an opportunity again to touch me because I never allowed him to get within 10 feet of me, even though I still had to interact with him for a short while until after the national pageant. Right after I competed in America’s Junior Miss that summer, I headed to Clemson. Neither of my parents experienced college and my sister was already a senior in college so I had little advice given as I headed out into the world, away from home to college. It was just a few miles down the road, but for sure a bigger and different stage of life.

My freshman year got off to an amazing start. I pledged a sorority, made great friends in the sorority and outside. Surprisingly I became a junior varsity cheerleader. I am always thankful for the people who encouraged me to try, but things went south when I got back my third paper that I had written for my English 101 class. On it was a note stating, “make an appointment to see me [the professor] in my [his] office. We need to discuss your ability to write.” 

I had made my first bad grade in college. So, innocently, and not thinking a thing about making an appointment with my professor, other than a pit in my stomach about my bad grade, I called, made the appointment, and went. The first time I went he was very nice and complimentary and encouraged me, stating that he would help me. He indicated it would take several private one-on-one appointments in his office to make good grades and be a more “creative” writer. He told me how pretty I was and that I would need his help to make it through English 101, but not to worry because he was committed to helping his students.  He asked me a ton of questions about me and my family, saying that if he got to know me better he could help make me a better writer.

Now after being older and wiser I see the perversion of his questions, especially after the second office visit. On this visit he got out from behind his desk and walked in front of me, leaned back on his desk and said, “I’m going to ask you some personal questions now that will really help stimulate your imagination.” He asked me if I had ever seen a naked man. I was a little taken back and said that I had in biology and then he said, “No, in person” …to which I said no. Then he said, “Well, I am taking that to mean you have never had sex?” He continued to tell me that I was in the minority of girls and no wonder I had no creativity and imagination in my writing.  He leaned in and touched my upper thigh and said, “I can help you develop your imagination.” with a smile and a wink. I stood up and backed away almost falling and said, “This isn’t helping me. In fact, I’m not comfortable. ” 

He stood up and turned angry and smirked, “Well, if you are not willing to be uncomfortable, then you will not make a good grade in this class.” I picked up my purse and my papers and backed out of his office. I remember getting to my dorm room and having trouble swallowing. My mind raced and I experienced a sleepless night and decided to tell one person whom I trusted, an upper classman, what happened, and they told me how to drop a class. Needless to say I dropped that class. I never told anyone until years later. After all, he was a doctor and I felt so small and stupid…and I knew it was his word (a doctor) against this little freshman. Several years later I remember reading in a local newspaper, of his firing…thankfully another girl whom I knew had more courage than me back then, spoke up! 

Me Too Number 2

After graduating from Clemson at age 22, my first job was in Columbia at a state agency. I was hired as an administrative assistant. This was before I won Miss South Carolina. Just a few weeks into my job and not knowing anyone, I would go downstairs to the canteen and bring back lunch to my desk and eat. I was new to Columbia and had no friends to go to lunch with so I would just sit at my desk and eat my lunch. I started getting notes left on my desk when I would leave to get lunch, which was usually peanut butter crackers and a Diet Coke. I was Miss Liberty at the time and watching my weight in preparation for the Miss South Carolina pageant. Lunch time everyday became miserable because of the notes. They grew more and more aggressive sexually and they were unsigned. There were several men who worked around me and I became so self-conscious, terrified and ashamed.  The last note I received was my final day of never returning to work void of giving a 2-week notice. The note I received read, “You can eat crackers in my bed any day!” Back then I had never heard the term “sexual harassment!” I was repulsed. Thankfully this time I told my mom and my dad, and my dad said, “Don’t go back and I will handle this!” I do know he made calls and I got another job, but I never asked what happened. I just wanted to forget. Somehow when this happens you start to feel guilty and responsible for no good reason. No one made me feel this way, the only people that knew were my parents, and they were supportive.

I qualified again as a #metoo victim after I became Miss South Carolina…back then when I was competing in the Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City, I wasn’t allowed to see my family much –– only a few minutes several times during that week. I was sequestered most of the time with a chaperone. After I became 1st Runner Up and flew home to South Carolina, I realized my parents had been courted by a man who was married to a former Miss America in hopes of recruiting me. He had given them a business card with an NBC logo on it and promised them I had a future in television and he would be calling even though I didn’t win the crown. Little did they know, and I certainly didn’t know, he was a calculated, well-dressed, kind, and gentle predator. I had never met him or seen him. He carefully planned, deceived and manipulated my parents and handpicked me as his next victim. He wooed my parents the entire week and won their trust, so much so that they planned to fly me to Palm Beach, Florida to meet with him about my “bright” future.

So several weeks after the Miss America pageant, my mom made all the plans and sent them to me. I remind you back then there was no Google, no cell phones (only land lines and pay phones), no Uber, etc. During this time, I was making appearances and being told where to go and what to do. It was so expensive to travel that I went alone and was promised that the former Miss America would pick me up at the airport. When I arrived, it was the husband, not the wife, at the airport. No alarms went off. I was a “lamb being led to the slaughter” …I had no idea. I got into the car with the handsome man in the suit and was driven to this remote warehouse and was told that this is where all the photos and training would happen to prepare me for my interviews and job opportunities that were already booked. 

When we arrived, there were several people (all men) walking around with cameras, lights, and other “official” looking things. The very kind man in the suit guided me, with my suitcase, to a room where there were comfy chairs, a mirror and a lighted table. He told me to change into my swimsuit that I wore in the Miss America contest and we would graduate to all my clothes, but we would start with a swimsuit to photograph. 

I went into this room and changed. At the time I thought it was weird that there were dark, blacked-out windows on one side of the dressing room. Much later, years later actually, I realized they were two-way mirrors. I walked out, after putting on my swimsuit, and all the lights were off except a bright spot light shining in my face. It was eerily quiet, and I sensed that we were alone, no one around but the suit man behind the camera. I could hear him and see his silhouette. He had me sit and stand and snapped a few pictures before he stepped in front of the camera and told me to lay on the sofa and I said, “What?” 

I didn’t understand. He then started telling me that I wasn’t relaxed enough, that I didn’t have enough color in my face. He then startled me by asking me if I had ever masturbated. I didn’t even know how to respond, and I started to feel very scared. He offered to get me water, and to leave the room if I would consider masturbating so that the blood flow would produce better quality pictures. He continued to tell me something that resonated from my college experience with my English teacher ­­–– he said I was new, and I would learn in the industry that all girls did this to get great pictures and that by resisting I would be in the minority and would not have quality work.  While he was talking, I was thinking, “God, why am I here? Please save me! How do I get away?!” My arrow prayers were interrupted by him grabbing my arm to pull me down on the sofa –– it happened so quick I can’t tell you how I ended up behind the sofa struggling to get out of his reach! As I backed away, I found myself in the dressing room. I slammed the door and fortunately it had a lock. Click. And I just slid down to the floor. I started screaming as he beat on the door. I was screaming leave me alone, take me home. I was crying scared, angry tears. I was scared literally for my life. 

I don’t know how much time passed, but I stood after a while, when I could scream no more and put on my clothes. I even put on more clothes over my clothes. I had my whole suitcase, so I put on two pairs of underwear over my swimsuit, shorts, then pants and two shirts. I layered myself in clothes, and then I started screaming again with my nose running and tears flowing. While I felt like I was sweating blood, it was only water. 

Through what became my whimpering from exhaustion, I thought that I vaguely recognized a different voice say, “I am here to take you to your hotel.” I was even more terrified that it would be more men and a lie, just to get me to open the door.  I stayed in that room for hours and finally the same voice on the other side convinced me to open the door and promised to take me to my hotel. I so wanted to believe him and go home that I opened the door with my suitcase in one hand and a belt in my other hand ready to fight, for what I thought was my life…as I opened the door, the lights were on and I pushed the strange man away and ran past him to the only door I saw, and it led me outside to the only car I saw.  I looked around and there was no one in sight and nowhere to go. The stranger walked up and simply said, “get in!” in a very scary voice. He didn’t open the door or help me, but I was so relieved he didn’t try to touch me. He never really looked at me and I didn’t want to make eye contact with him. I literally had no idea at that point where he was taking me.

For at least 30 minutes we rode in silence and I felt sure I was riding to my death. By the grace of God through my quiet tears a Holiday Inn appeared, and he stopped and let me out. This is going to sound very strange and bizarre, but when I got to the hotel I have little memory of my actions, except for placing a “collect call” to my mother after I got to my room. To this day I have zero memory of how I got to the airport and got home. I can vaguely remember being on the plane and sweating because I never took off all the layers of clothes until I got home. I remember telling my mom and her anger helped me. She didn’t want me to tell my dad about it. We had no idea what he might do to this man. We were both afraid of his reaction. I can remember mom calling the man who had won her trust and hearing her threatening him. I can remember her telling the officials of the Miss South Carolina pageant about his calculated lies that won their trust and lured them to send me into a terrifying situation. She peppered me with many questions and so did the officials and they promised me they would work to get to the bottom of it. 

I remember talking to my mom for hours and praying for the fear to leave me. We never made it public and we never told my dad. It was a year of silence, and then a phone call came from the then Miss South Carolina President. I was told to turn on the national news. There was monster man, age 38, being led away in handcuffs by FBI agents. His charges were not for sex crimes, unfortunately. He was good at what he did. Sexual exploitation back then was hard to prove when you preyed on young females like he did. Back then, women had no way to broadcast what happened to them if they didn’t have really good proof. He did go to prison and his Miss America wife divorced him.

I do not desire to make this man famous for his wicked heart…but I want to say…women don’t speak up very often. I was so young and innocent. I was so naive and so were my parents. I felt shame, embarrassment, and fear.  Back then, I had no proof of what happened to me. It was NOT a favorable climate for women at all to accuse men of anything  without major proof and then more often than not, women were accused of inviting the advances. I was so weary and when things like this happen you just want to forget…and push it out of your mind. The trouble is…it comes back and back and back. You push it down and it comes up…

But I want people to know, you cannot say how you would react until it happens to you. You can neither predict nor imagine until you are a victim. I have watched countless people judge the stories and reactions of victims and question them…and it angers me. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW! PERIOD!

I can tell you that when the sexual advances and bullying stuff came at my daughter I was livid. It started with her phone when she was in the 8th grade. A boy she knew, and I knew, who was older, sent her a picture of his genitals.  She experienced bullying in college by her coach who called her the “P” word when no one could hear. Thankfully she told me, and I believed her. I knew it was true. I knew his kind, I had experienced it myself and I’d be damned if I was going to stand by and allow it to happen to her. I watched him like a hawk after I learned of his calculated words to her and how he isolated her to say the very cruel words, and inappropriate name calling so no one else would hear but her, and his bullying threats. When I saw him lean in and whisper to her right before she teed off at a tournament, I watched her face and the tears…I knew his tactics…I was not going to allow history to repeat itself with my daughter and he didn’t like it one bit that I personally called him out. She ultimately suffered by his tactics but not near as bad as she would have if I had allowed his verbal abuse to continue.

Let me say this…all the horrible things that have happened in my life…some I just shared and some I don’t care to share…God knows, and He sees and He despises it. If you are or have experienced trauma, abuse, sexual assault or attempted assault, it matters, and God hates it. It doesn’t matter if it happened today or 40 years ago…it happened, it should not have happened, you did nothing wrong, there is no shame…Shame is instant delivery from the pit of hell…and it is Satan’s fierce weapon that he uses to steal, kill and destroy you. Reject the shame that Satan projects onto you…Speak up to someone…You only can heal from what you reveal…God is light and in Him there is NO darkness. Walk into the light by facing your pain…it may be uncomfortable, but I promise that is only temporary compared to the pain of stuffing and silence. 

You can pray. He sees and He hears, and there is much help available and access to find it through the internet. Silence it NOT the best medicine. To the person that a victim might choose to break their silence with…LISTEN and believe them. Take a deep dive into yourself and ask, ‘Why did they decide to tell me?’ Ask God to guide you in order to guide them to the appropriate help. The one thing that is so good that has come from all the evil that I have experienced is my desire to lead a surrendered life to Jesus and I can say the same about Collins. I am a proud #girlmom and a fierce defender of her. We are bothalways  a work in progress. Scripture calls it sanctification ­­–– a daily process of seeking Jesus, repenting often and seeking to please Him.

Silence about HORRENDOUS stuff only allows it to continue…when good women do nothing, evil prevails. Please know this: when you want to judge…or have an opinion…YOU don’t know what you don’t know…

There are hundreds of thousands of silent sufferers…I have been silent to the public for over 35 years. It is never too late to REVEAL so that you can heal…God hates the darkness…and Satan’s ploy is shame and silence to the victim to allow the evil to continue…don’t buy the lie!

I pray this post motivates them to speak up. It may help to prevent someone else from being a victim of the EVIL that seems to be at an all-time high. Understand, it is not just sexual abuse, it is physical abuse and bullying as well. All of it is horrific. Just because you didn’t see it or witness it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. I pray every day now for God to bring to light what is hidden in darkness. It is one prayer He continues to 100% answer. Maybe not in my time and how I would have Him do it, but nevertheless, HE has done it and continues to do it!

The 2020 half-time show for sure fed the appetites of the deranged people who exploit the innocent. We already know the Super Bowl is the most known time and place for high sex trafficking. It breaks my heart to know there were innocent young watching. 

While I don’t agree with all who have joined the #metoo movement because there are some who join for the wrong reasons and motives, I won’t judge a heart. I’ve been watching for a long time and praying as well. It is easy to SEE the wrong intent of some. 

Let me just let you know as well, if you don’t know me, I’m a #boymom and a #boymominlove. I never, ever want anyone to falsely accuse my boys but I will say, if they are ever guilty, I would be very hurt, disappointed and would not defend inappropriate behavior! 

Mothers and dads, we have to be aware of the tactics of predators and stay 10 steps ahead if we can. Today, the predator comes into your home through the internet, apps, social media, television, and probably ways I don’t even know…things are progressing at such a rapid rate in many ways and because of my age I am unaware…

You have to be the ones to educate and protect, especially their knowledge and what they see! I have had many friends who don’t want to learn social media…well, you better or you will NOT be able to help protect your children. Mothers become a ‘Mom Under Cover’…do whatever you have to do to investigate…be aware…be educated. Knowledge is power! I haven’t shared all my experiences, only the ones I’m comfortable with sharing, and some I may never share.

If you are a victim, you need to know that the first thing you want to do is pretend it didn’t happen…it is that painful…to think about it or talk about it out loud is gut wrenching. The younger you are, the lack of maturity and life experience makes you process things immaturely. Satan heaps shame and guilt that is so heavy and somehow you do think it is all your fault. I can’t explain it other than, as I have grown older and matured, I look back and can unpack why I kept silent.

I know you are terrified of not being believed…and being judged and opinions given on social media by people who have the wrong heart and think because they weren’t there or didn’t see means it didn’t happen. 

As for all the sexual innuendos and the revealing and disgusting wardrobe selection, the pole and the dance moves of the Super Bowl half-time…

I have raised two boys and I can remember being pregnant with our first. I was a long-distance runner then and on my headset,  I listened to James Dobson’s two-hour interview with Ted Bundy days before he was going to be put to death for being a serial killer and abuser of many women. I listened to his interview with James Dobson and he unpacked his progression of sexual perversion and evil and how his appetite grew for the devious, sexual perversions. It started with a Playboy magazine that he found as a kid. Then after the picture didn’t help with sexual pleasure anymore, it grew to watching X-rated movies and being a stalker of women.

On and on he went detailing how what he saw, and the intensity grew for the need to have more until it led to having to rape and choke women to death in order to satisfy his sexual appetite. Find those interviews and listen if you doubt at all that the sexual innuendos of the Super Bowl half-time show doesn’t promote evil, sexual lust and perversion. You are plain in denial if you think otherwise. I might add there is a documentary that includes people who knew Ted. They were appalled and didn’t want to believe all of it was true about him just because he looked and acted like the charming boy next door.

THIS IS A SIGNIFICANT key point to engrain in your mind…people who abuse whether be it sexual, emotional, or physical are genius…in their outward behavior and appearance of kindness and gentleness when they have deep issues that you know nothing about. These issues can manifest in countless ways and REMEMBER hurt and hurting people hurt others…it is a vicious cycle. It can be just sheer evil. It can be a mental illness (genetics passed down), substance abuse or plain old sins of the father passed on through generations. 

The point is…there is intense cover up…people will go to any length to NOT BE EXPOSED. I have now paid more attention over the years to people like Ted Bundy. Maybe they were not serial killers but were abusers who have been interviewed. They pretty much have all said once they crossed the line of acting on their desires, there was no turning back or stopping…

One last story—David and Bathsheba. David was a man after God’s own heart but, in a moment of desire, he went his own way. Bathsheba was a servant of the king and really had no choice but to do David’s bidding. Read 2 Samuel 11 for the whole story.

I want to end with hope for someone who is reading this and has been abused. You are not alone. God is with you. HE SEES YOU. He can bring help and healing. PLEASE TELL SOMEONE.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalm 34:4)

Discretion – being known for what you don’t reveal…is #girlpower

Do we really want the attention of strangers?

“We’re not all of the things we say we believe; we’re all of the things we do about them.” ~Bob Goff

While reading through the life of Moses found in Exodus, and also seeking to memorize the book of James this year, I have found a running theme of just how much “doubt” can creep in and rob us of the joy of past blessings and the confidence of God’s future hand in our lives. It can also stunt our faith and cause great sin in our lives that can affect not just us but our children.

James, the half brother of Jesus, witnessed up close and personal all the miracles Jesus performed, yet he did not believe Jesus was the Son of God until after Jesus’ death and resurrection. How could this be? 

The Israelites, when led out of slavery from Egypt, experienced many miracles first hand…the parting of the Red Sea, manna from heaven, being led by a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day, just to mention a few… but they grumbled and complained. When adversity happened, they doubted and even wanted to return to Egypt! How could this be? 

The Lord heard and saw all of it!

How does God feel about our forgetting? Glazing over? Lack of gratitude? Lack of growing faith? Our grumbling when things don’t go the way we desire? He detests it and eventually there are consequences.

We see in Numbers 14:11 that God calls it “contempt.” “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them?” 

James writes in his book in chapter one verses 6-8, “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should NOT expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is DOUBLE-MINDED and UNSTABLE in all they do” (emphasis added).

How does thankfulness/gratitude correlate with faith? 

If you are taking a breath today, you should be grateful! If you live in America, you can worship freely. How about clean drinking water? If you read any history book, just look at how God has blessed the hands of man to develop all of our modern conveniences, medicine, abundance of food, all of our choices. The list is endless, yet how much do we complain when things don’t go as planned? Or how often do we fail to thank Him for daily provisions?

The Israelites’ ungrateful hearts led to a lack of faith and ultimately some didn’t enter the Promised Land. God’s greatest blessing He had in store for them was delayed for some and missed by many.

What is the example we need to pattern after? Scripture gives us one –– Caleb! Numbers 14:24, “But because my servant Caleb has a DIFFERENT SPIRIT and FOLLOWS me wholeheartedly, I will bring him into the land he went to and his descendants will inherit it” (emphasis added). 

Remember, Caleb was an Israelite and he experienced the same miracles and hardships that all the thousands of others did, but his heart was different. Joshua is included with Caleb. The children of the grumbling Israelites did eventually get to enter the Promised Land but they had to “suffer for their parents unfaithfulness,” (Numbers 14:33.)

God’s Word is clear in Exodus and in James. We are to endure hardship and count it joy. God provides in the good times and in the bad. He has a plan and it is a great one, but it isn’t void of trials or adversity. Our faith is to grow right along with our gratitude. We are to follow God wholeheartedly regardless. 

Point of post: Thanksgiving no longer comes one time of year for me, it is everyday without the turkey and dressing. I encourage you to count your blessings, count them one by one, daily.  Endure hardship and keep your eyes on Jesus, trusting His heart and reflecting often on His hand of provision in my/your life. Let us not be numbered among those who treat God with contempt. Being intentionally THANKFUL this year has given me a DIFFERENT SPIRIT, it has opened my eyes and my life to a more intimate relationship with Jesus, and no matter what life brings, my heart has  overflowed with gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving today and everyday to anyone reading this blog! The following are two quotes that inspired me this time last year: 

“God is in control, and therefore in EVERYTHING I can give thanks –– not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it.”  ~Kay Arthur

“In happy moments, PRAISE GOD. In difficult moments, SEEK GOD. In quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. In painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.” ~Rick Warren

The verse penned by Paul in Romans 8:28, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose,” is a verse that has taken on a deeper meaning for me in the Back 9 of life. 

Sanctification is a big word with great meaning for all Christians. In order for this post to make sense, and in hopes of encouraging you in your walk with Christ, it is necessary that I define sanctification. Sanctification is a process that Christians go through after they have invited Jesus into their hearts.  Sanctify originates from the Greek word hagiazo, which means to be “separate” or to be “set apart.” In the Bible, sanctification generally relates to a sovereign act of God whereby He “sets apart” a person, place, or thing in order that His purposes may be accomplished.  We all have a created purpose that God intends for us to live. We have a free will to choose Christ or not. When we choose Jesus and invite him into our hearts, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of us, and thus we begin the process of becoming more like Christ through obeying God’s Word and being led by the Holy Spirit. That is the process of sanctification. 

Often in the process of sanctification, which is a continual process, God allows adversity to be a common part of our lives in order to grow us and teach us. There is nothing like adversity to cause us to turn our eyes toward Jesus and depend on Him.  When we read Romans 8:28 it tells us that “God works things for the good.” Adversity often brings extreme pain and suffering, some undeserved and some are consequences of our sin. In either case, God wastes nothing in our lives and engineers these events to grow and teach us. We only need to look at the life of Paul, Daniel, Joseph and others, especially Jesus, for examples. 

We might say, “Where is the good?” Even though Jesus was fully God and fully man and in NO need of sanctification, Romans 8:28 applies. The good was He was an innocent man who experienced condemnation resulting in His brutal death on the cross and His resurrection as the provision and payment for our sin. The GOOD was for us. As we dig deep we see adversity as God’s provision and for HIS good and glory. Our suffering could also be for someone else’s greater good in God’s omnipotent plan. We often allow Satan to deceive us into thinking that adversity is unjust and not a part of God’s plan. If you believe that, I can say from personal testimony that you are probably living on spiritual milk. Time to dig deep…

In my forties I came to realize I was surviving on spiritual milk and I began to feel as if I were about to starve to death spiritually. I was actively involved in church and in Bible studies such as BSF and CBS. I was learning, reading and hearing God’s word but part of growing up spiritually is applying it. There is a tremendous difference between knowing and doing. The verse in Romans had a different meaning then than it does now. 

Eleven years ago, in God’s great mercy and grace, I was brought to God’s great banquet table of spiritual meat. Yes, it took a state of spiritual starvation. (I was learning God’s Word but not applying it to my personal life.) I looked in the mirror one ordinary day and realized that my definition of spiritual depth and God’s was light years apart. 

I was led by God to several very strong people of faith and theology to guide me to a deeper surrendered walk. I soon started to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit in my life. I shudder now to think about the years it was my voice and the voice of others that I allowed to be louder than the voice of the Holy Spirit. God’s light and voice was ushered into my life with a flood but adversity didn’t depart. Instead it came with guns loaded and I grew exponentially. 

I study all the time and there is a quote by Mark Batterson that I have found to be very true: “The will of God isn’t safe.” If you read his book, “The Grave Robber,” you will clearly see the point of this quote and I 100% agree with it.

Over a span of 11 years many things happened. Collins’ experienced bullying in high school and in college. My mother was diagnosed with a rare brain disease that was debilitating, very much like Lou Gehrig’s disease. Her suffering was almost unbearable to watch and it eventually took her life. Thomas had a serious, near death, staph infection. Brewer had a sudden stroke and a second episode this past summer. My dad was suddenly taken ill and passed away after complications with his illness. There were many other things that happened but I think you get the picture.

Reflection is a great thing to do. When I look back at all the events, I see God and my spiritual growth through the continued adversity. You see, so much of these situations were out of my control. I was in awe when I experienced a strange peace that became very apparent through all the adversity—the kind of peace that Scripture describes as a peace passing all understanding. It was the sweet and strong presence of the Lord—a deepening dependence on Him and learning to take my thoughts captive and bringing them to the obedience of Christ. 

These circumstances drove me to Scripture where the words jumped off the pages. I was desperate for comfort and direction. Applying Scripture was the source of strength and it tuned my ears to the voice of God in my life. Some of the adversity ended well and my prayers were answered in the way I desired and some were not. In all cases I experienced the supernatural hand of God. 

One of my biggest fears in life was the day I would have to say goodbye to my mother. When that day came, how the Lord provided during that time of great loss and since then has been amazing. I still feel sadness and miss her every day but it hasn’t been at all what I imagined. The Lord has filled the places in my life that my mother once filled. I do find incredible comfort in knowing both of my parents are in heaven. 

I share all of this with you to show you what the process of sanctification and adversity has looked like for me. If we turn to God and His Word during adversity…not only does He provide, but we see Him in ways that are not possible otherwise. The forcing of “dropping our hands” and relinquishing control to Him, especially on things that don’t make one bit of sense to us, ushers in the experience of the supernatural power of Jesus Christ, and it is the most unique, special experience in life. 

Embrace adversity…Look to Jesus and His Word. Even though there may be deep sadness, sleepless nights and many tears…there will be a peace that passes all understanding. One that can’t be adequately explained, only experienced. You will find growth in your faith like none other. 

Today, draw on the example of others as described in Hebrews:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Hebrews 12:1-3).

We have all heard this statement from our lips or from the lips of others. If you are my age, you certainly know about fairness because you have experienced unfairness you didn’t invite.  

We all have opinions about what is fair. Depending on the “life experience” glasses we wear and operate through, it is very possible that our opinions will differ from those of others. Thus, their opinions can lead them to decisions that will seem unfair to me or to you.  

There are some opinions different from mine that I can’t wrap my mind around. I have, at times, sought out knowledge and wisdom from people who are a whole lot smarter than me in certain areas. I want to know if I am way off base in my thinking so that I can try to make needed changes in my thoughts and further educate myself. Sometimes those wiser than me tell me that the opinion in question comes from an irrational point of view. Their perspective on the topic has helped me know I am not crazy or ignorant. At other times I have changed my mindset, realizing I was wrong and misinformed. Seeking that wisdom has been invaluable to me and allowed me to grow tremendously.

God created all of us to constantly grow and change, a process Scripture calls sanctification. It is not true that “you are too old to change.” I have heard that many times. This is a very ignorant and arrogant mindset. Carol Dweck, Ph.D. calls it a “fixed mindset.” Sadly, too many people choose this mindset.   

Professional Christian counseling has been invaluable to me and has helped me to embrace the process of sanctification. Dumping old mindsets that were wrong and toxic and replacing them with healthy growth mindsets. (Mindsets all biblically based but ones I had twisted or I allowed someone I deemed to know more than I did to distort my interpretation of Scripture.) Counseling also helped me to embrace the tactic of temporarily putting on someone else’s life glasses to emotionally SEE their mindset. It has helped me to empathize with them, develop more patience with them, but also not to pity them into continuing in a wrong or fixed mindset that is irrational. The nature of the relationship, determines how much time, if any, I give to that opposing/differing opinion.

Recently, when the college football rankings came out and my team, Clemson, was not in the top 4, I had a strong opinion. Based on all I have learned in working to live in a “growth mindset,” I was excited to read Coach Swinney’s response, “It’s not worth the brain cells!”  

I have learned to put it a different way, “It’s not worth my mind space!” I can keep my personal opinion and I’m not going to worry about everyone else’s opinion. It doesn’t matter!  

I have plenty of friends who would disagree with my opinion on different topics…it doesn’t matter what they think. I love these friends and it would be crazy to even bring up the differing opinion. 

Opinions really don’t change things anyway, actions do.  

I seriously write with the purpose of helping and encouraging others to “lead a life of significance!” I can truly say, if you dedicate too much of your brain cells/mind space to the differing opinions of others, it will take you off your purpose and mission like nothing else.  

I can see why Coach Swinney flourishes. He has this principle in place for himself and I am sure he does his best to lead with this example to his family, staff and team.   

Trying to change someone’s opinion, if it doesn’t personally affect you, or…

If the “glasses” they are viewing life through are irrational ones–often fashioned by their life experiences…and….

If you have taken the time to educate yourself on that fact, is a waste of your time (time is so valuable)…and mental space… not to mention your emotional health –– for which there is no price tag.   

I love this Scripture penned by Paul in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”  

Learning to mine your mind is an invaluable life-giving mission. It is a mission I encourage everyone to take. Life isn’t fair. We can just look to Jesus and His life. His opinions were very different from those of the Pharisees. The Pharisees were so irrational in their thinking. Jesus was an innocent man who lived a perfect life and died a cruel death. I praise God every day that the unfairness of His death, but His resurrection because He is God’s son, paid the price for my sin.  

Even though life can be unfair…and opinions can be irrational and differing from our own…God can use it all for our sanctification and His purposes, if we choose the right mindset. That mindset is fully accessible to anyone who invites Jesus into his/her heart. Jesus empowers you with the Holy Spirit to study and apply His word….which brings growth. 

So seek a “growth mindset.” It will direct you on the fairways of life whether unfairness seeps in gradually or slams in unexpectedly.

Thankfully, as I study Scripture, God always takes me to places where lessons for me to learn jump off the page at me. As I have learned and matured in my understanding of Scripture and how to apply it to everyday life, I love sharing what I have learned with others. The book of Daniel is one of my favorite books. It teaches so much about practical living for a Christian and Daniel is a fabulous example. I love what my commentary says about Daniel himself, “Daniel is distinguished by NEVER having anything negative written about him.” I love this and it really makes me pay close attention to ALL of Daniel’s actions.

One action I love to read about and apply is how he dealt with the king. King Nebuchadnezzar was a very irrational king, odd in many ways. In the second year of his reign, he had dreams which troubled him so much so that he was losing sleep. He decided to issue this crazy order. He wanted not only someone (the wise men, astrologers) to interpret his dream, but to also tell him what he had dreamed and if they could not, he would have them “cut into pieces and their houses turned into piles of rubble” (see Daniel 2:5). Wow! What a narcissist!

Of course there was major push back. The astrologers answered the king in Daniel 2:10, “There is no one on earth who can do what the king asks!” They went on to say no king in all the earth had ever made such a hideous request.

I love how Daniel responded to this very tense and life-threatening situation. Daniel 2:14-15, “When Arioch, the commander of the king’s guard, had gone out to put to death the wise men of Babylon, Daniel spoke to him with WISDOM AND TACT! ‘Why did the King issue such a harsh decree?’…” (emphasis added). Wow! What can we learn here?

First, we know Daniel loved God. If you read the whole book of Daniel, you see that Daniel’s trust in God, even in captivity, was unwavering. Just before this harsh decree, Daniel had stepped in faith to kindly reject the king’s food and ask for healthier food. It was a process but Daniel acted the same way, with tact and wisdom, asking questions without raising his voice or being demanding or panicking. The definition of tact is “a keen sense of what is appropriate and tasteful.”

The next thing Daniel did was to ask for some time so that he might interpret the dream for him. After being granted the time, Daniel returned to his friends, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and explained the situation to them. He asked them to pray. In fact, he asked for them to “plead for mercy from the God of heaven.”

What happened? God showed up and showed out. We still serve the same God today.

If you live long enough, you will experience some pretty intense situations…maybe life-threatening… or it could be mild like being tense from a cancelled flight. Regardless of the degree of tenseness, I can personally say that God is with us all the time. Scripture teaches that “He will never leave you or forsake you.” 

Second, it doesn’t necessarily mean that when you pray that, all of a sudden, things will smooth out because we also see in Scripture in James that trials and tests are to mature and complete us…to strengthen our faith and perseverance. WE can’t always wrap our minds around the situations that cause us to be tense and stressed…but we can certainly learn from Daniel:

1)  Don’t let your emotions overtake you and direct your actions. Daniel had such a strong relationship with God that it is amazing to read of his wisdom and tact in very stressful situations. He didn’t seem to lose his head.

2)  Daniel didn’t mind asking his friends to intercede on his behalf. He had praying friends.

3)  If you read on in Daniel, past the second chapter, you find a very strong prayer life….rock solid is what I would call it.

Point of post:

1)  Be intentional about becoming a person of prayer, seeking to strengthen your intimacy with God. 

No one can have the “relationship” with God for you…and everyone…can have the same kind of relationship that Daniel had. HE was intentional…..and the same goes for you and for me. We have to want it.

2)  We can choose our friends….praying ones. When life heats up, you have prayer warriors to stand with you in prayer.

3)  We don’t know when the stressful situations will come or how many will come, nor how long they will last. We can’t control the outcome either. 

I personally just encountered a major life storm…one that I sincerely didn’t know the outcome of and it looked bleak at times…but because of my intimate relationship with Christ…I TRUSTED HIM completely with the outcome. It didn’t mean I would have liked the potential outcome, but I know that God is omnipotent and I know that I can’t lean on my own understanding. All that peace in the storm was from years of spending time with God.

As you read on in Daniel, when Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were going to be thrown in the fiery furnace, they knew God would be with them but they didn’t know if they would survive…and they were fine with either ending. I have studied this story so much that for sure when Brewer had his stroke (his own fiery furnace), God brought me to a place of peace no matter what.

I’m gonna keep writing and writing. If I could give away intimate relationships with Christ, I would, but it doesn’t work that way. NO one can do it for anyone else, but I can keep writing and encouraging. Today, I promise, an intimacy with God Almighty is the very best thing you can ever choose to pursue. It is refreshing, reforming and reviving. IT will hold you in the most tense of situations.

When I read those words on my Jesus Calling app yesterday, around 2 p.m., it sent chills down my spine! In part because I had already heard them two times before in less than two hours from different sources. 

While all this was taking place, I was on the Walker Course at Clemson. I was in the midst of shaving snowballs for the participants of the FCA Dabo Swinney Golf Classic.  The day started with excitement and fun, but when my phone started blowing up with construction problems for our new Pelican’s SnoBall in Athens, GA, my mood and day wanted to grow dim. 

I’ve lived long enough to realize I am not alone. It happens to everyone. The unexpected happens. Even when you plan and do everything in your power to do the right thing, plans fail and problems spring from nowhere. 

From experience in handling these kinds of situations poorly and having decided that I didn’t like to retake tests God allowed in my life, I am finally learning the proper reactions to activate my faith and trust in Jesus.  

First, I prayed asking God to help me trust and remain faithful to what He had led us to do in Athens. I asked that no matter the problem that I would refuse to give into fatal and negative thinking. It was not but minutes later that I felt God say in my spirit, “My ways aren’t your ways. I know and see all. You do not. I will never leave you nor forsake you!” 

Then, for extra prayer I texted a few friends who are “warriors of prayer” and one responded with, “God is never late. He knows what you do not know and sees what you do not see!” Then I opened my app to read a message from Jesus Calling just so I could continually stay in a faith and trusting state of mind. I was so encouraged when I read those words and got the same message for the third time! 

Literally, within TWO hours, I heard the same message three different ways all pointing me to God. As the day progressed I was actually able to enjoy my day, seeing God in the smallest details of my day and positive things happening in other areas of my life. 

The message here: Nothing takes God by surprise. 

His timing is perfect and even in dealing with the most unexpected problems, HE IS FAITHFUL. Turn to Him. Refuse to wring your hands. Literally take your cares and concerns directly to Him. HE IS FAITHFUL…OH so faithful to encourage and comfort.

Now, it hasn’t made our problems go away with the new Pelican’s, but it has given us the grace to walk forward and the wisdom to know what steps to take to address them. There is significant value, spiritually, when life’s unexpected problems spring up to stop, take a deep breath and turn to the One who gave us breath and pray. Prayer does move mountains. Sometimes those mountains are made of how we respond to the problems and not the problems themselves.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

“Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints; but let them not turn back to folly” (Psalm 85:8).

“There is only one way of victory over the bitterness and rage that comes naturally to us –– to will what God wills brings peace.” ~Amy Carmichael

Does it seem sometimes that you work and you work and there is no fruit…no business….no progress? 

In the past several months I have stepped back into the world of business with fabulous partners opening two more Pelican’s Snowball locations –– having three total now. The hoops we have had to jump through and requirements necessary to operate in different cities have been so frustrating. Some of the requirements seem petty and over the top for the product we will be selling. Construction and progress have been slow due to the “knit picky” bureaucracy behind the approval of our operations and construction.

Selling snowballs is a joy. I get so much pleasure out of a low dollar item that all can enjoy and it is a happy place to work every day. Families come. Tired, hot workers come. Kids come. Teenagers. Senior adults. Athletes. It is a treat. Everyone who indulges leaves with a smile on their face. We also love our employees. I love young people and they are usually the ones who apply and become family to us.

Over the past few months I have had to remind myself of the end game as we have trudged through the web of rules, construction and reliance on others to get us snowball ready. Once open, we rely heavily on sunshine and word of mouth.

As we have been preparing over the last several months, I have been deep in God’s Word. The true story found in Luke 5:1-11 has really encouraged me in several ways. It is the story of Jesus teaching by a lake, the Lake of Gennesaret. Jesus decides to get into a fishing boat early in the morning, push out into the water and sit down to preach to the crowd on the shore. 

Sidenote: Scripture gives us the backdrop for this story of fishermen on the shore cleaning their nets. It makes sure to let us know that they were out fishing ALL night with no catch. That tells us it was morning time when Jesus was teaching. 

After Jesus finishes preaching, this is where the story picks up, “When he [Jesus] had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets’” (Luke 5:4-5).

The story continues with Simon obeying and it informs us, “When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.” Upon seeing this blessing from the Lord, Simon Peter fell at Jesus’ knee and said, “‘Go away from me Lord, Lord; I am a sinful man!’” (Luke 5:6-8)

It states all the fishermen were astonished at the catch of fish. It continues to tell us of Jesus’ response, “‘Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.’” These fishermen pulled their boats on shore, left EVERYTHING and followed him.

What can we all learn from this true story? 

~When we are working hard…Jesus sees!

~It is ALWAYS God’s will for us to be “fishers of men/women” A.K.A. no matter our occupation in life…we can share the good news of Jesus.

~God can and will bless us…a precursor is WORKING HARD! Noting that even then, some days our nets will be empty, but we are to trust the one WHO can fill our nets.

~Our blessings are from God and His timing is perfect.

~If God redirects us, like He did the fishermen, we must obey!

God’s Word is rich for all of life! He truly desires to bless us and sometimes even when blessings come, like Simon Peter falling on his knees, the blessings remind us of the power and love of God, regardless of our weak state of mind at times…doubt, fear, frustration…

Today, make a choice. Turn to Jesus, asking Him to invade your heart, mind and life…to show you hour by hour the steps you should take. His power is truly made perfect in our weakness and the only way to see it, experience it, is a surrendering to Him and obeying…

Where is He telling you to “throw your net?”

I was raised by Christian parents and from a young age I watched them live out what they believed. The example of their lives and their taking me to church, which added layers to their example, led me to my decision to follow Jesus. At church I saw God’s Word being preached and saw a community of people who worshiped Christ just as my parents did. So at a very young age I had the Holy Spirit inside of me prompting me as best as I could understand for my age. 

At that time I didn’t need proof of the validity of Scripture. I just trusted what was going on in my heart and mind. Today, having been a Christian for 47 years, I can honestly say my faith walk from childhood has been the overriding factor in my devotion to Jesus. My hunger and thirst to know the Scripture increases weekly. 

Because of my young profession of faith, it is hard for me, at times, to identify with people who need proof. I can look back and see God’s direction in my life. I can see times when I wandered away and how the Holy Spirit convicted me to draw me back. I see God’s hand of protection and provision. I have much history with Jesus in my life because of my childhood conversion. 

Many people want to make sure of all the facts and know that things line up to their satisfaction so that they can believe. I am grateful that I have experienced Jesus without the need of proof, but I know proof exists for those who need it.

As I write this year, I have an overwhelming desire for those who don’t know Jesus to know Him and for those who know Him, but have not surrendered their will to His to do so. With my heart’s desire to be transparent to all as I write and publish, I want to introduce you to someone who I don’t know personally but I do admire. He just might affirm the proof you are looking for in order to be willing to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, especially if child-like faith is hard for you.

Meet Lee Patrick Strobel, a 67 year-old former atheist with a Yale Law Degree. He was an investigative journalist for the Chicago Tribune and other newspapers for 14 years. He set out to investigate the Biblical claims about Christ after his wife’s conversion (meaning she became a Christian). 

Just a side note from reading Lee’s books and watching him share his story online: I love that his wife came to know Christ through a neighbor inviting her to church. The power of an invitation!! Look where that one invitation took a whole family….and what it has produced. Through an invitation by a neighbor, who I can’t even name, an entire family changed. The mother accepted Jesus, then her atheist husband, then their children, who all now serve the Lord. Lee has written some of the most incredible literature to strengthen anyone’s faith in Christ, books like The Case for Christ and The Case for Faith.

Here is a summary of his work that I found:

He has written several books, including four which received ECPA Christian Book Awards (1994, 1999, 2001, 2005) and a series which addresses challenges to a Biblically inerrant view of Christianity. He also hosted a television program called Faith Under Fire on PAX TV and runs a video apologetics website. Strobel has been interviewed on numerous national television programs, including ABC’s 20/20, Fox News, and CNN. He was awarded an honorary doctoral degree by Southern Evangelical Seminary in recognition of his contributions to Christian apologetics. He also writes and produces a TV show, Faith Under Fire. Strobel and his wife Leslie have two children and several grandchildren. His daughter Alison is a novelist, and his son Kyle is an Assistant Professor of Spiritual Theology and Formation at the Talbot School of Theology.

I introduce you to Lee for a reason. I’m not a scholar nor did I go to Yale Law School. I can testify and give countless examples of Jesus in my life from the beginning until now but for some of you reading this post that won’t cut it. For those who have inquiring minds, like Lee, I invite you to read his material. If you truly are looking for answers about the validity of Jesus and the accuracy of Scripture I invite you to read his book, The Case for Christ. I have lived long enough now to realize I don’t have to reinvent the wheel. I just need to use it and pass it along. 

Watch here: https://youtu.be/OxtpaVE85WU.

If you are a skeptic, order the book. Google Lee Strobel for yourself. His story is fascinating and amazing, showing what God will do with an inquiring mind that really wants to know. 

As I keep writing, I will continue to remind you of this…in God’s Word Jeremiah writes, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13).

Don’t wait any longer. Seek Him today. You won’t regret it!

Jesus is teaching here, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on THE rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who builds his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against the house, and it fell with a great crash” [emphasis mine].

It has taken me some years of adulting to realize how devastating too much water can be…from flooding from storms to an undetected leak that ruins much before you even know there is a leak. Being a homeowner for over 30 years now, and just having real life experiences along with learning from others’ experiences, I know for sure how to help our kids wisely buy or build a home. To the best of my ability I would influence them to buy on the high ground, double check that it is not in a flood plain, and pay money, if it is an existing home, to research the drain system and foundation under the house. 

Through experience I have learned it is a terrible thing to plant trees near the sides of houses. The roots grow and can obstruct the foundation and the drainage system, if there is one. So if buying a home, I always check to see where the trees are planted. You can’t see the roots under the ground but you can bank on trees being near the outside of the house is not a good thing for the foundation or for drainage.

Scripture often refers to our bodies as temples, our dwelling place, much like a home. That is why Jesus was so specific and straight forward about how we should conduct our brief lives on this earth. Who wants their house to fall down? Who doesn’t want to be wise? 

If I took a survey of people and asked them, “Hey, do you want to be wise?” I doubt anyone would say no! Referring back to the Scripture above, Jesus said to build your house on “THE” rock not “a” rock. Building our lives on Jesus and putting His word into practice, not just reading it but living it, provides for a sturdy, durable foundation for life. 

The rain is gonna come. We just don’t know when or for how long. Just like the rain we had recently, it may come for long periods of time. But I haven’t lost sleep about the foundation of our home. Why? Because we built it and I know what the foundation consists of. 

God’s Word is our manual for building the foundation of our lives. It is only as good as how we choose to apply it. God’s Word was given for our benefit. It is an architectural blueprint for our life on this earth. 

Recently, we had a drawing done for our new Pelicans store in Athens, GA. The general contractor and master plumber said, “The specifics here and the accurate measurements by the architect are invaluable to keep from having major trouble down the road.” If that’s true for such a temporary thing as a store, how much more does it matters for our lives?

As you read along in the gospels, you will find many lessons Jesus personally taught while He lived his short, perfect life on earth. The Scripture that follows the passage quoted above says this, “When Jesus had finished saying these things, the CROWDS were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority and not as their teachers of the law” (emphasis mine, Matthew 7:28). Amazement accurately describes how the crowds should have responded. Why? Because they were hearing from the master Architect!

Take a moment today to reflect on how your “house” is being built. Do you have a solid foundation? Are you seeking wisdom from the master Architect? If not, I challenge you to spend more time in the gospels I have been encouraging folks to read and ask God for wisdom.