Photo Credit: Jan Vasek

As I continue to work with girls and visit new schools for my own children, dress codes have been on my mind lately.

Why is it that there are dress codes for the girls, but little to NONE for boys?
Why is it that in middle through high school, girls are taught that they should be ashamed of showing too much leg, too much arm, or heaven forbid—a little breast through a tight shirt?

Girls are already bombarded with “you aren’t good enough,” “you’re too fat/skinny/flat/tall/short” messages from the media, at home, and from kids at school. Do the adults really have to attack them at school as well?

If boys get too aroused or “distracted” at school, then it’s the girl’s fault for wearing too tight of pants or shorts, too short of a skirt, too tight of a shirt, one that shows too much of their arms/upper body (aka: spaghetti straps), then SHE needs to go home to change.

When do boys get taught to take responsibility for their OWN actions and feelings?
Why do our girls (and women for that matter) ALWAYS have to accommodate horny boys/men by covering up?

“You can’t wear that because it’s too distracting to the boys” turns into “You were raped because you were wearing a tight and short mini-dress,”  with little to no consequence for the rapist.

Why are we SO afraid of sexuality and sexual expression of girls in our society?

I’m sick and tired of the double standard to which we hold girls. This only contributes to the massive amount of body-shaming they already experience regularly.

It’s time for a change!! It’s time to embrace her blossoming sexuality because it isn’t going away!

Growing breasts, hips, and starting menses are all natural parts of life! Rather than shaming our girls about their changing bodies, why don’t we support them by helping them learn to love and respect themselves, set healthy boundaries, and be true to themselves (which includes dressing the way that feels GOOD TO THEM) instead of focusing on the length of their shorts?

Also, rather than excusing our boys’ rude and obnoxious behaviors or sexual harassment of middle and high school girls, why don’t we hold them accountable, or better yet, why don’t we help them embrace and express their own sexuality in healthy ways & teach them to accept personal responsibility for their actions?
Girls AND boys are becoming more and more sexual at earlier and earlier ages and we need to respond accordingly–but not with dress codes.

Let’s stop stressing girls out with body-shaming dress codes and start instilling values of self-confidence, self-respect, and individuality instead.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Inquiring minds want to know!

PS: Have you gone shopping lately? The fashion industry markets adult clothing and high heeled shoes to our girls starting at toddlerhood because they will make the best consumers/customers as they grow!! Good luck finding “appropriate” clothing that fits your school’s dress code.

Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW is a Soulful Somatic Therapist who works with individuals and groups internationally (online) and locally in Austin, TX. She’s the founder of Warrior Girls Rising™ and Be the Woman You Want Your Daughter to Become™ programs. Contact Dawn directly to work with her: dawnatdawnkgibsondotcom

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Please comment below! I want to hear from you. If you have a topic you’d like me to discuss or you have a question for me to answer anonymously on Warrior Girls Rising™ YouTube channel, then email me directly: dawnatdawnkgibsondotcom

The post Warrior Girl Wednesday: Sacred NO! appeared first on Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW.

Here are just a few VERY simple tips to help you navigate these tough conversations with your daughter:

1. Teach your daughter body boundaries from a very young age.

When you play with your daughter, if she asks you to stop, then stop. If you tickle your daughter, when she asks you to stop, then stop.
This lets her know that SHE is in control of her own body.

Also, let her know that it’s perfectly OK for her to touch her own vulva, breasts, and butt, but it is NOT ok for others to do this. Again, you’re teaching her that she has nothing to be ashamed of AND she’s in charge of her body.

2. Let her explore her own body without feeling shaming.

When my kids were in 5-point harness car seats (one still is), they would…ahem…have their way with themselves on our car rides.

To them, they were simply experiencing pleasure.
I made their experiences feel natural and normal…because it IS completely acceptable for humans to experience pleasure without feeling shame.

3. Teach your daughters about puberty from the get-go.

Discuss puberty with your girls from a very young age.

I started this convo when my kids were two or three.
My girls have always known that they are going to grow breasts one day like mama, bleed like mama, have hair on their bodies, etc…
The sooner you start these conversations, the less traumatized they will feel once their bodies begin to change and menstruation kicks in.

Get professional help!

The only reason we get triggered is because our own emotional baggage, childhood issues, or unresolved trauma gets in the way.

If you do not heal on a deeper level, then it will be hard to help your daughter navigate these tricky waters.

Healing is not a once and done process.

What you THINK has been resolved, has a way of creeping up again as you get older.
That simply means it is is time to unravel the next layer and go a bit deeper than you went before.

Also, keep in mind that your triggers may also correlate with your daughter’s age and what you experienced at that particular age.
For example, if you were raped or violated in college, a lot of your “stuff” may come up as she gets closer to this age.

I know this is a lot of info, but I felt inspired to share!
Don’t hesitate don’t to reach out for support!

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I judged others who were thinner than me, who loved their bodies, and appeared to feel self-confident.

Later, this lack of enoughness showed up in my various drunken encounters, my horrible choices in men, and the use of my body (that I hated) to get the attention and love I wanted from these disrespectful men!

I was completely disconnected from my power.

I was disconnected from my truth.

I was disconnected from my voice.

I was disconnected from my body.

I was disconnected from my heart.

I was disconnected from my soul.

I was disconnected from my spiritual self.

When we are disconnected from our essence and our essential selves, THAT is when we live in shame, self-judgment, and anxiety. That is when we live passionless, chaotic, and stagnant lives.

Dawn

Contact me for your complimentary Sacred Wisdom Session:

da**@da*********.com

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Some people believe that if you just sit and think about what you want, then it will come.
Others believe manifestation is too “woo-woo” and doesn’t work, or that you have to work HARD for what you want.

Although I don’t believe it has to be hard work, I do believe that it’s also important to recognize what resonates and feels aligned for you, follow your process, take action, and allow all that you desire to flow into your life as well.

This process can truly be filled with ease and flow.

Just like you, I create my own reality. I may not have believed it when things weren’t going well or when I thought things were “happening to me,” but today I realize that even back then, that was the truth.

When you focus on the things in your life that suck, you get more suckiness (I used to live here).
When you focus on the things that feel good, expansive, and desirable, then THAT is what you get back (this is where I live now–most days).
Sounds so simple, doesn’t it?

It wasn’t until last year, that I realized how fast I truly manifest what I desire into physical form.
The observation that I was a quick manifesting goddess was reflected back to me by fellow Be GREAT speaker, Lindsay Pera, who I respect and admire.
After looking back on my life, I realized she was absolutely right. I also recognized is that fast manifestation can be tricky–and it can go either way–so do your best not to stay stuck in the muck.

I posed some questions to myself about my “magical manifestation powers” and what steps I usually take to get there.

Here are few examples of what I’ve INTENTIONALLY created in my life over the years:

• Getting pregnant third child
• Obtaining financial freedom more than once
• Creating emotional connection in my marriage after many years of wondering if we’d even make it
• Receiving two solid offers on our house before it went on the market
• Quickly selling our home at a higher rate per square footage than any other in the neighborhood—before it went on the market + while we were still in the middle of a remodel. I even manifested the family of four who bought it
• Qualifying for Jr. Nationals Swimming Championship in high school and placing in the top three at State in Texas

I could go on and on (and I can give several examples of what I’ve created that did NOT feel good to me) but I will stop now!

So…how do I manifest so quickly, you ask?

The following is my step-by-step process. Take them, leave them, or create your own

• Take Personal Responsibility

  Take personal responsibility for yourself and your life. Don’t blame others or stay in the victim role or victim mentality for too long. I used to blame everyone for my problems. I lived in powerlessness and I couldn’t see how I created my own reality.

  This kept me stuck for years.
  Because I finally made a conscious choice to heal, I am in a much better place today. I did my own work, became more self-aware, healed trauma, and shifted old patterns that I don’t want to carry on or pass down to my children. I invite you to do the same!

• Believe in Yourself!

  First and foremost, you have to believe that you can truly have what you want out of life! This is so important.
  If you believe you can have __________ in your life, then it WILL happen. Fake it til you make it if you have to.

• Get Clear

  Take the time to do a brain dump in your journal to clear your mind and your energy. Get up and move your body–allow your hips to lead the way with hip circles, figure 8s, or sensual movement.

  After moving your body, pull out your Oracle cards, guided meditation or visualization and tune into Spirit and your intuition.

• Be Specific

  This can be a tricky one. I personally like to get super specific, but I’ve also realized that it pays to be flexible as well!
  Sometimes you can get SO caught up in what you believe the “result” should look like that you miss out on the bigger version of what is being created right in front of you. 

  Call in your angels, guides, and higher self, light a candle, spray some rose oil and sink into your intention. What does it look, feel, taste, and smell like? Get as specific as possible and notice where you feel it in your physical body.
  Once you sit with this for a bit, then write them down and view them periodically when you feel called.

  For example, I knew I wanted a third child and my husband did not. I didn’t know how or when it would happen (ok, I knew HOW it would happen…) but I was CERTAIN it would. I felt her wanting to be born. I called her energy into my safe womb each night and FELT her until she came into existence. 

• Create a Physical Representation of Your Intention

  I LOVE vision boards and altars!! I have tons of vision boards and a few altars in my home and they REALLY work for me.
  If that’s not your thing, find what works for you. When you feel aligned with your own process, the magic will begin.

  Play a bit with stones, altars, photos, collages, affirmations, journaling, art, or drawing on your mirrors. It doesn’t matter HOW you do it, just do it, then put it somewhere you can see it daily—or even multiple times per day.

• Visualize, Visualize, Visualize

  When I was young girl, my dad taught me the power of visualization and positive mindset. When I was a competitive swimmer this practice was reinforced by my coaches and sports psychologists. That’s when I learned how powerful this action TRULY is.

  Once you’ve created your physical representation of your intentions, take time to visualize the the process and the outcome.
  I invite you to voice record the process and listen to it when you lie down for bed at night or before you step foot out of bed in the morning.
  No need to do it daily, just whenever you feel called.

• FEEL it in Your Body and Emotions

  When you visualize what you want, feel what it feels like to go through the process and receive the gifts of your intentions. Do you feel joyful? Happy? Light? Courageous? Stay with those feelings.

  Next, tune into your physical body and notice the PHYSICAL sensations you feel and where you feel them.
  Does your heart feel open? Is there lightness in your shoulders? Do you feel joyful? WHERE do you feel this? In your heart? Stomach? Pelvis? Throat?

  Stay with this feeling and revisit this place whenever you feel called.
  Your body will remember these feelings and sensations as if they have already happened.

• Use Affirmations and EFT

  I love using affirmations. I post them on my vision board, write them on my bathroom mirrors, and type them into my Intention Reminder app on my phone. When you write your affirmations, always use the present tense.

  Instead of writing, “I will feel peaceful in my life.”
  I invite you to write, “I am peaceful within my life and relationships.”
  Of course you can always get even more specific if that floats your boat.
  
  EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) can be great for releasing and unblocking emotions and beliefs that keep you stuck in life, as well as inviting in all that you desire.
  I like Margaret Lynch’s EFT youtube videos. They’ve been very helpful. Once you get into the tapping routine, you’ll see that you can use it to create or release anything.

• Pay Attention!

  Pay attention to the world, people, and opportunities around you. I didn’t enjoy my last home and I had wanted to sell it for a while. However, I (thought) I knew it was not the right time. I told my husband that I’d stay for 2 more years if we remodeled.

  Around that time, I was browsing a real-estate site out of curiosity. After a few minutes, I had to sign-in to continue looking–which I usually wouldn’t do, but I did. I quickly received a call and email from a realtor and decided to meet with her.

  She happened to be a Reiki Master in her past life! Longer story short, within 3 weeks, my home was remodeled and sold before going on the market.
  At the outset, I’d told her that I wanted multiple offers before it went on the market, I wanted full price, and I felt that a family with two young children would move in. That is exactly what happened.

• Meditate

  Create time to allow space for spiritual guidance, connection, and communication, even if only for 5 minutes per day. All of us need the quiet time to hear the messages from the Divine.

  You might be surprised at what messages come to you when your mind isn’t chattering at 100 miles per minute!

• RECEIVE!

  THIS one is the trickiest step and the most important one.
  As moms and women, you do so much for others and you rarely ask for support from anyone else. How often to you feel open to receiving what you desire?

  Your desires are put on the back burner more often than not, while you take care of everyone else’s needs!
  Sit down in a comfortable chair, sink down into it and SPREAD YOUR LEGS. Receive. Receive. Receive.

  I also visualize my heart opening in the front and back with a beautiful bright light that flows out into the world and and back into my heart from the world as well.

  I don’t use all of these steps every time I’m ready to manifest magic into my life. Sometimes it’s as simple as speaking it to others to bring it into physical form.

  What about you? What feels aligned for you? How do YOU manifest your desires into reality?

  Please comment below!

The post Magically Manifest Your Heart’s Desires appeared first on Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW.

As a mom, society tells you are “strong” when you can “do it all” with little to no support–when  you are Supermom.

So many of my clients and other women I know TRULY struggle with reaching out when things get tough. You may look at your mom and wonder how she did it all. You might be reading too many Facebook feeds of women who seem to “have it all together” when the reality of their lives is that they struggle, too.

Lynne Newman is my guest today and she is a phenomenal, powerful, grounded, and feminine woman who is redefining what being a strong woman means for all of us. Lynne has been through SO much, from miscarriages, to being married to the man she loves as he lives with Stage IV cancer. She has so much wisdom to share with all of us about embracing life now and moving through the challenges that life shows us, as we grow, transform, and recalibrate.

Don’t miss this one! Grab your cup of tea, get settled in, and be inspired.

Click the image below to watch. Audio is also available below.

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If you are ready to learn to let go and to find the courage to live the life you are meant to live (without waiting for a traumatic event to happen to you) AND you want to break this pattern so your daughter will not continue this cycle, then this episode of The Confident Parenting Connection is for you.

Grab a cup of tea, maybe a bit of dark fair trade chocolate, and watch this week’s episode or listen to the audio below.

As always, I want to hear from you so please leave a comment below and share if you feel inspired!

 

The post Let Go of Control and Live Your Life with Courage appeared first on Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW.

Let’s talk Chakras! I love talking about and learning about the energy systems in the body. Some consider this to be an airy-fairy topic, but I assure you it is NOT. I see it day in and day out with women who have stuck emotions in their physical bodies (stuck energy in their chakra system) that are old patterns from childhood and generations past.

If we are attuned, we can see the same with our own children. Joy Fichiera has joined me for today’s CPC episode to talk all about the chakra system, how to identify imbalances in your children, and she offers a few tools to help you and them come back into balance!

Joy is a mom of three, yoga instructor, reiki healer and chakra expert. She loves to share how the chakras affect your daily life in a practical and simple manner that helps everyone see the impact of their own energy. Joy specializes in helping parents understand their child’s energy system as well as mentoring yoga teachers that wish to incorporate the chakras into their classes. Visit Joy’s website for some amazing FREE tools. Seriously!

Grab a cup of tea and a square of chocolate, relax and enjoy! As always, I want to hear from you! Comment below the video and please share if this resonates with you.

Audio Recording:

The post Help Your Children Heal and Balance the Chakra System appeared first on Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW.

If so, this episode is for YOU.

I get it because I have been there! I felt like I was a warm body, taking care of my children, keeping the household running, and building my business, while he traveled and worked crazy hours each week. No fun. And definitely not what I signed on for when I tied the knot. I always and one foot in and one foot out of my marriage and I wasn’t sure if we would make it. Not anymore!

I was inspired to create this video because many women and clients I know struggle with staying connected in their marriages as well. These tips are simple (not necessarily easy) and have worked wonders for me.

Although I address women with husbands in this video (my clients tend to be heterosexual moms), this video is for any of you in an intimate relationship that needs a bit of recharging!

Give it a go and leave a comment below to let me know how they worked for you. And by all means–share this episode with all of your mom friends so they can gain insight, too!

The post 3 Simple Techniques to Reconnect with Your Husband or Partner appeared first on Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW.

Today’s CPC: Conversations that Connect episode is with a powerhouse and amazing woman, Camalo Gaskin, who has set out to do just that. She is a powerhouse and wealth of knowledge who has personally worked with birth pioneer, Dr. Michel Odent. She currently lives in Germany, where moms and babies are treated with the nurturing care that we ALL deserve. During out talk, we also address topics of home birth, VBACs, birth trauma, and more.

Right on cue, we had a couple of visitors to join us during this important conversation!

Grab a cup of tea and set aside this time for YOU to educate yourself, feel supported, or to see how YOU can make an impact in the world and transform the legacy of childbirth.

The post Childbirth, Postpartum Care, Birth Trauma, and You appeared first on Dawn K. Gibson, LCSW.