As a society, we have a tendency to allow anxiety cues to persevere until they begin to affect our mental, emotional or physical health.  The option to take the necessary time out of our lives, to reconnect with ourselves, to review our life goals or to take a step back and notice the circus that our life may have become has also become somewhat obsolete.  In part, I blame social media, but that’s for another blog!

So, how can you begin managing your anxiety?  Well, you can start by making time to recognize your anxiety levels!  If your thoughts seem unduly negative, challenge them with more realistic thoughts.  Challenging negative thinking via alternative perspectives help us to avoid falling into the trap of catastrophizing and becoming overwhelmed.  Empowering yourself by challenging negative thoughts reduces the possibility that you will feel helpless in the face of life stress.  Empowerment corresponds with hopefulness.

Practicing breathing techniques, journaling, progressive muscle relaxation techniques, developing a meditative or yoga practice, or even something as simple as going for a walk on your own (or with your dog) will also help you manage undue stress and anxiety symptoms.  These types of activities promote a sense of calm and may allow for a different perspective to emerge from within (if you listen long enough!).

If you’ve been avoiding something because you are afraid of the consequences or how unpredictable the event is, then find a way to work through it safely.  Stop avoiding it. The longer you put it off, the worse and more frightening it may seem.

If anxiety persists then you might be dealing with something more serious.   At times, medication may be prescribed to allow people to manage anxiety while addressing their issues.  That said, medication might not necessarily be the long-term solution to managing stress.  Learning to cope with stress and working through life’s challenges in your own unique and healthy way is the best medicine to the stomach ache causing, sweat inducing, heart-racing thing we call anxiety.

The post Ah, anxiety. Are you a friend or foe? first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

To visit BC Parent magazine click here.

To read the article click here.

The post BC Parent article first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

Some key points in Family Based Therapy for Eating Disorders include:

• Parents are active participants in the treatment
• FBT is appropriate for anorexia or bulimia or EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified)
• FBT is an evidence-based treatment model
• Food is viewed as the primary medicine
• There are three phases of treatment.
  • Phase 1) Parents are in charge of weight restoration
  • Phase 2) Parents hand over eating to adolescent
  • Phase 3) Adolescent developmental issues are addressed
• Consists of 10-20 sessions dependent upon severity and chronicity of illness
• There is no assumption of origin of the disorder; focus is on recovery
• Siblings play a supportive role and are protected from assuming a primary role
• Weight is restored and child or adolescent’s expected developmental stages and behaviours return
• Team approach: Parents are supported by therapist’s expertise in FBT.

Rigorous, scientifically based studies were conducted to assess the effectiveness of Family Based Therapy for Eating Disorders and the results were positive with regards to recovery and the resolution of Anorexia, Bulimia and Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS).

I am happy to be able to offer Family Based Therapy for Eating Disorders in my private practice and will be seeking ongoing support and certification from the institute to ensure best practice results.  If you would like additional information please don’t hesitate to contact me at: hello@caralynnemclean.com.

Have a great long weekend Canada – let’s celebrate our country!

The post Family Based Training for Eating Disorders first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

The other entrance is probably unlike any private practice you’ve seen or been to before.  Upon entering, you walk into a child’s greatest fantasy – it may look to you like a miniature toy store.  One wall of the room is lined with shelves of miniature figurines, including dinosaurs, robots, dolls, animals of all types and sizes, warriors and dragons and even mystical figurines, just to name a few.  A wooden dollhouse with ethnically and culturally representative dolls sits by the window, ready for its next guest.  There are two sand trays – one wet and one dry, (who says you can’t play with sand inside!) and a water tray.  There is a dress up chest filled with costumes and puppets hanging around waiting to be brought to life. There are also art supplies including paint, clay, crayons and pastels.

Let me assure you, these toys are not for me!  When people ask about my private practice, I tell them that I see clients on an individual, couple and family basis.  I also tell them that I am able to see children in my expressive play therapy room, which often results in a quizzical look.  The puzzlement on their faces is usually derived from the fact that they don’t really know what a child play therapy room looks like, let alone how child therapy works.And that’s understandable because it is a far cry from the traditional couch therapy we see so often depicted in Hollywood movies and shows.

Expressive child psychotherapy utilizes many forms of expressive play, which serve to process a child’s thoughts, feelings and experiences.  Play is a child’s natural way of processing inner and outer world experiences.  Through play, children reveal and process how they feel about themselves and the world they live in.  Just as adults are impacted by their outer worlds so are children.  Outer world experiences can impact one’s inner world beliefs and coping strategies, which can serve to transform a person’s way of being in the world positively or negatively.

 Children are influenced by their outer worlds through their interactions at school, home, during a play-date, church, at a local community center, on playgrounds etc.  In order to work through these experiences, the toys and other mediums available in my play therapy room are essential.  As I greet my young clients, I invite them to choose the medium they wish to use (though I clearly don’t use the word medium!).  I attune myself to where they are in the present moment, and follow and guide them in their expressive play.

Sometimes a child will choose to play and create solely in the sand, while other days he/she may choose to process their life events using toys or artwork.   At times, they may choose to utilize a few different types of expression, all within the same therapeutic session.  Anything goes in my play therapy room – yes anything.  Of course, I maintain safety through boundaries but, overall, I provide them with a safe place to express their anger, grief, confusion, mistrust, loss, lack of connectedness, aloneness, sadness and trauma without judgment.  Thankfully, children seem to feel at home in my playroom.

At the end of our session, we have a gentle closing ritual that I gleaned from an expert in the field, Marie Jose D’haese.  To close our session, I always have the child settle down in my comfy corner.  I give them a healthy snack (approved ahead of time by mom, dad or their caregiver).  I carefully choose a special story and read it aloud, then I light a candle and ask the child make a wish.  We blow out the candle together and I say goodbye.  The clean up process after they leave can take time, but I cherish that time.  As I prepare the expressive play therapy room for my next client, I find myself processing the session and letting it go. 

I schedule my clients so that I am able to meet them with an emotionally clean slate.  To me, being part of a client’s life and sharing in their process of joy, sorrow, anger or grief, regardless of their age, is a privilege.  I am grateful for my work as a therapist, on a daily basis.

The post Child or Expressive Play Therapy first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

Adults, teens and even young children seem to be living a constantly connected existence.  These connections are not like the physical and social connections which I had the pleasure of enjoying during my own childhood.  It wasn’t long ago that people had the luxury of thinking about events rather than feeling compelled to instantly message their innermost thoughts.

As kids, we sat for hours and talked about our lives with our “best friends”, rather than posting our life for all to see on Facebook.  Sure, there were stressors but, for the most part, we didn’t broadcast them for all to see.   Flash forward 20 years, and I see how my young child and his friends are already deluged by what society dictates they should become.  What society demands of people to be part of the in-crowd seems to change on a whim; consequently, setting highly unattainable goals.   The deluge of instant messages, be it in the form social media or texting, leaves little room to process our inner worlds.

As adults, we need to look at our own behaviour when it comes to how dialed-in we are.  A quick Seabus ride, from North Vancouver to the city, proved to me that we are not doing very well.  While the tourists and a few children who were not glued to their iPads enjoyed the view, commuters sat staring at their “smartphones” feverishly texting, rather than living in the present moment and allowing themselves a few decadent minutes to experience the beauty of the ride over.  I wonder how much better they would have felt if they had taken that fifteen minutes for themselves and simply been present to process what they were living?

My wish for you is that you take 10 minutes and just sit and be alone with your thoughts, heart, spirit and soul.  I bet you will feel more connected to your inner being and maybe even a little rested.

Wouldn’t you rather look at this?

The post Connected first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

I mean, are you experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder?

As we all know, the month of March is just around the corner.  The worst of the winter weather is on the verge of being officially over.  Soon, we’ll be readying our gardens and replacing our warms woolies with k-way jackets and shorts.  Ok, I may have dated myself with the k-way reference, but I digress.

For many (me included), the effects of less sunlight, cold snowy weather or endless rainy days have taken their toll.  If you’ve noticed that your mood changes for the worse in the fall and winter months, then you may be suffering from season affective disorder (SAD).

Some of the symptoms of SAD include: needing more sleep than you do in the summer months, and if you are lucky enough to squeeze in more sleep, not reaping such benefits as increased energy.  You may also find that you have bouts of insomnia and are more irritable.  Trust me, if you are noticing that you are a bit more irritable, I bet others have noticed it too!

You may find it difficult to concentrate or tend to be forgetful.  Memory issues are not uncommon when you suffer from SAD. Gaining weight, depression and losing interest in sex are also symptoms to watch out for.

Okay, so while the bad news is that you are feeling down right now, the good news is that summer is around the corner.   Also, while you are in the midst of Mother Nature’s funny joke, there are some things that you can do to help your mood.  Psychotherapy in conjunction with light therapy has been scientifically proven to raise mood and help with sleep issues associated with SAD.

According to a study in 2007 (by Rohan, Roeklein, Tierney, Johnson, Lippy, Lacy and Barton), when 1.5 hours of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) was provided either through individual psychotherapy or a group format, and the CBT was coupled with daily light therapy sessions (10000-lux) for 90 minutes/day, there were clinically significant, positive changes noted which reduced the negative symptomatology of seasonal affective disorder.

So, by identifying your personal strengths, limits and the social pressures that are affecting your life, and utilizing something as simple as light therapy, you may lessen the effects of the winter blues.  Becoming active in order to combat the depressive symptoms that come with SAD, is key in preventing the symptoms!

The post S.A.D. – Beware this acronym! first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

For some clients, symptom relief while in therapy may come quickly, while for others respite may take a lot longer.  There are a multitude of unique variables, as unique as each human being, to the trajectory of each client’s journey.  An attempt to rush through the process will leave the frays of your distress along the recovery trail.  These reminders may not affect you now, but if left along the path, the angst may creep up again later on.

Emotional or psychological discomfort can feel like a massive weight or pain in one’s shoulders, chest or body.  It may feel as though you are walking in a deep, thick fog. You or a loved one may feel that seeking out care, reaching out for an empathic ear and accepting where you are at, at this moment in time, is futile.  I urge you to believe me when I say it is not futile.  In this fast-paced world, we are programmed to expect results instantaneously.  Thus, when we encounter an emotional or psychological challenge, something that does not respond immediately to our attempt at reconciling it, the distress deepens and its roots take hold.

By accommodating the deepest of our discomfort, giving it room to be, as it is within us, we may actually be allowing it to pass.  At first, you may find that the most you can handle is a minute-by-minute approach.  So be it.  Reach out for an empathic ear.  Whether it be a family member, friend, spiritual or religious advisor or a therapist, just make sure you give yourself the gift of time, and the support that you need, as you live through the process.

Take the time to allow the emotions to flow through you.  Believe that this time in your life will pass, as long as you are willing to give it the time to run its course.  What comes out of the struggle has yet to be decided.  Allowing yourself the time to let go of the pain, sorrow, grief or loss is essential; it is essential if you want to continue growing and developing who you are meant to be.

The post Taking time first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

Parents often voice concerns about their child’s eating habits and sometimes unsuspectingly impose adult “values” at mealtime.  Now, please don’t misunderstand, I know first hand how frustrating it can be when your child relegates healthy and tasty food to the “de-yuck” category.  I’m going out on a limb here, but I believe my son invented the “de-yuck” category, which according to him is the opposite of delicious!   So, what can we, as parents, do to help our children and ourselves have happier mealtimes, you might ask?

Well, according to Ellyn Satter*, pioneer in the field of eating dynamics, we need to remember a few key things.  As parents, we are responsible for “the division of responsibilities”.  That is, parents are responsible to provide “what”, “when”, “where” the child will be eating, and the child is responsible for “how much” and “whether”.  It is our job to provide a calm and supportive mealtime environment, and to demonstrate through example the behaviour we expect to see.  If we have an expectation that our children eat healthful meals then we need to be doing the same, with them.  “Feeding” a child breakfast, lunch and dinner is one thing but teaching a child to listen to their body cues of hunger and fullness is another.

When children are offered a selection of foods at predictable times in the day, and they avoid snacking in between, they will generally regulate food intake appropriately for their individual needs.  Imposing an expectation regarding the amount of food they “should” be eating is arbitrary and essentially harmful.  Your child will eat what they need to eat if they are eating at predictable times in the day, on a daily basis.  Trust their hunger and fullness cues.

Also, I cannot underscore enough how important the family meal is.  Yes, we all have job demands, extended family concerns, practices and games to attend, music, art and/or dance lessons to get to, but all of these extracurricular activities aimed at making our children be the best they can be pale in comparison to the importance of taking time out, as a family.  It’s essential to break bread and connect emotionally, physically and mentally.

The family meal will set you and your family up for success in the future.  Children will learn through family dinners how to behave during mealtime, how to try, and perhaps even like the food their parents are eating, and to become friends with food rather than fear it.  If you already incorporate daily family meals then you are on the right track, stick with it!  If a family meal tradition is something you haven’t tried then why not try it now.  You will be paving the way for a healthy way of looking at mealtimes.  And remember, we as parents are responsible for what, when and where; our children are responsible for how much and whether!

*Ellyn Satter is a Registered Dietitian, holder of the Diplomat in Clinical Social Work and who is in private psychotherapy practice.  Satter has combined her expertise in nutrition and psychology to pioneer the field of feeding dynamics.  Her Division of Responsibility in Feeding has become the golden rule for feeding children.  

The post Children and Food first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

Statistically, the likelihood that an individual will keep their new year’s resolution is not something I’d bet the proverbial farm on.  In fact, a study by the University of Scranton found that, while 45% of us make New Year’s resolutions, only 8% of us actually achieve success.  It seems that by mid-year more than 50% have failed.

So, with that sobering tidbit of information in mind, now that you’ve chosen a new year’s resolution, how do you keep it?

Well, whether your resolution is to increase family time, exercise more, lose weight, stop smoking, enjoy life more, save money, take up a new hobby, volunteer, stop drinking or be more patient, here are a few ways that might help you get into the “goal achieved” category rather than that, um, other category that we might call “better luck next year”!

(1)             Frame it.  Seriously, write it down, type it, draw it – whatever you like – just get it down on paper. Then frame it and place it in a prominent area that way you won’t forget about it.

(2)             Break down your resolution.  If your goal or resolution is big, break it down into smaller parts to make it manageable and attainable.

(3)             Seek support.  Make yourself accountable to family, friends, coworkers or even your kids (they’ll love it) and you’ll be more likely to keep your resolution.

(4)             Accept setbacks.  If you break your resolution, get back in the saddle.  You have the rest of the year to make up for it.

(5)             Check in.  Set dates to check-in with yourself about your goal(s).  I have found that seasonal check-ins work well. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter are great times to assess how you are doing and to tweak any issues. Additionally, you can set a reminder on your smartphone calendar, write it in your agenda or put it on the family calendar.

Hope these ideas will help you achieve success!  If they don’t, well there is always 2014!

The post New Year’s Resolutions – It’s never too late first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.

North Shore residents: Ease your stress this December

It doesn’t matter if you’re single, newly married or have a bunch of kids, Christmastime can be stressful for anyone.

CaraLynne McLean, who owns CaraLynne McLean Counselling in North Vancouver, says the holidays can be a wonderful time, but can also be a source of stress, anxiety and depression because of added duties and the complicated task of balancing family time.

Here’s what she recommends doing to ease the stress this December:

1. Manage your time. Remember you are in control of how much you do over the holidays. If you are feeling overwhelmed give yourself some “time out.”  Saying “no” to requests is a healthy limit-setting behaviour.

2. Ask for help. You don’t have to do the decorating, baking, wrapping and cooking all at once and by yourself. Make holiday tasks a family affair and share duties.

3. Set a budget. Setting and sticking to a budget now will help you avoid the money blues in January. Think thoughtful rather than expensive gifts.

4. Stay flexible. Divorced or blended families often find the holidays more challenging.  If old traditions cause sadness replace them with new traditions that fit your new parenting arrangement. When you’re not with your children, consider getting away, visiting friends or taking a holiday rather than being alone.

5. Volunteer. It often feels better to give than to receive. Consider volunteering at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or a retirement or nursing home. There are many people in need of support and your act of kindness will outlast any monetary gift you can give.

6. Avoid triggers. Difficult family relationships will not miraculously mend themselves in time for Christmas dinner! Be aware of subjects that create heightened emotions in people and try to avoid them.

7. Stay active. Rain or shine, plan to do an activity outdoors after the Christmas meal. Take the little ones out to a park or take the family pet for a walk.

8. Don’t do drugs. Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. Christmas cheer may feel good in the moment but too much tends to heighten depression and lead to other issues.

9. Keep perspective. If you struggle with issues, especially food issues, the holidays are likely a very challenging time. Try to keep the holiday season in focus.  Remembering the old adage “This too shall pass” may just help to get you through.

10. Plan ahead. Financially, there are many savings available beginning on December 26th that will make your Christmas next year that much easier.

11. Keep track. As you pack up holiday decorations, write a list of things that contributed to a good holiday season and those that didn’t. Place the list on the top of your decoration box so that next year you’ll have a reminder!

12. Stay connected. If you are feeling down, reach out. Contact a friend, family member or professional counsellor and let them know what you are going through.  Grief, loss, depression and anxiety don’t magically disappear because there are shiny lights and holiday music all around.

Visit caralynnemclean.com for more tips.

The post Surviving Christmas Article in North Shore Outlook first appeared on CaraLynne McLean Counselling.