Sometimes we fail. We mess up. We make bad decisions, and many times the heavy load we carry is the result of those choices. When we recognize this, we pile on self-condemnation—guilt and shame. But when we take time to listen, we don’t hear condemnation from God, but something far different:

Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.

Child come here. Put down that heavy load, and climb up in My lap and tell Me all about it. Receive the grace, the forgiveness I so want to give you, and let me release you from your worry. Quit accepting shame, and embrace the freedom-joy of My love once again. Just leave it to Me. I will help you know what to do as you move forward from here.

Take my yoke upon you and learn of me.

I will not only show you what to do now, but I will help you learn from this. I can teach you to be free of your compulsions, to see more of the world from My perspective, so you don’t make this same mistake twice. If you choose, My Holy Spirit will do this deep healing in your spirit.

For my load is easy, and my burden is light and you shall find rest for your souls.

It is so much easier–and more enjoyable–to follow Me when you aren’t carrying unnecessary burdens. The load I give you is quite simple: stay connected with Me. Don’t let anything get in the way of this connection, especially not your mistakes. Don’t let anything keep you from embracing the identity, value, belonging and calling I have given you.

When you stay connected with Me, you will be able to hear my voice and follow where I am leading you to go.

What has God been saying to you?

The post How God Can Speak Through the Bible – First Things First Part 4 appeared first on Belovedlove.

God loves us like that. He sacrificed a lot so that we could have access to Him. The cost—his son’s life–was worth it to Him. We were, and are, worth it. Hebrews 12:2 says “Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.”

The more we experience God’s love, the more we want to spend time with Him. His love draws us like a moth to a flame.

Do you know—really know—just how much God loves you? Are you aware of His desire to spend time with you, just to be with you? And how much it cost Him so that could happen? What can you do to stay more aware, more grateful for this love?

The post Worth It appeared first on Belovedlove.

God loves us like this. He is not waiting until we grow up or become “good enough” before He loves us and appreciates us. He delights in each part of our journey, and enjoys us most where we are right now. He does challenge us to grow, but doesn’t expect more of us than our maturity can handle.

Do I make mistakes? Misbehave? Rebel? Have an attitude? Think I know more than my Loving Parent? Of course I do. Too often.

But God’s grace is amazing, and His arms always open to love and forgive and restore.

The post Our Loving Father appeared first on Belovedlove.

I’m messed up.

You are too.

We have weaknesses

Secrets

Scars

Fears

Blind spots.

God is aware.

He accepts us

in the middle of all our mess.

He knows us better than we know ourselves.

And He loves us more than we can comprehend,

So much so that He sacrificed dearly

so that He could lead us out of our confusion,

and into freedom and joy.

When we come to Him we are needy.

We’ve realized we can’t free ourselves from our dark tangle.

With one word, one costly Word, He erases all of our past wrongs.

even though we may repeat them (or already have).

He releases us

And then He reaches out to step alongside Him.

Will we accept His strength, His love?

Or will we turn away,

shutting our ears to our shouting need?

It isn’t easy to follow His way.

It takes hard work, persistence, perseverance

to shed the shackles that have long imprisoned us.

But we are not alone. And we are not on our own.

We do this together with Him.

Guided by Him.

Empowered by Him.

And the joy, the joy eclipses the pain.

The joy of belonging. Of being wanted, treasured.

Of understanding that we have a purpose. And make a difference.

The joy of knowing, to the depth of our souls

that we are loved–loved as we have always longed to be.

That joy is worth everything.

Where are you?

Are you just starting out?

Are you stuck in a pit of your own making?

Have you lost your way?

Right now, wherever you are,

God is there.

He knows

everything.

His eyes shine with a penetrating love that almost lifts you off your feet.

His hand reaches out to yours.

He’s made His choice.

What will yours be?

The post The Choice appeared first on Belovedlove.

Andrew and I were the first of our friends to have a baby, and as all new parents know, that first little one goes with you everywhere. When Michael was first born we were going to a lot of weddings, and so Michael attended his first nuptials when he was just 2 months old.  Afterwards at the reception we stuck him in his carrier and put him up on a table next to the dance floor so we could keep a close eye on him.  Michael sucked on his pacy and slept while we twisted  to “Pink Cadillac,”  shagged to “Sweet Home Alabama” and slow danced to “Endless Love. ” He was conked out for hours.

Noise is Just Noise

How did he do that?  Why didn’t all that noise wake him up?  Why wasn’t he afraid?

He was fed. Warm. Safe. He already knew from past experience that if he cried–or even so much as stirred–there would be many hands to soothe and care for him.

The noise was just noise.  He tuned it out.

God’s Peace

God gives us that kind of peace, a peace that comes from knowing that he is right there, protecting us and taking care of us.  It is a peace that has nothing to do with the noise of life. It is an inner calm, a knowing, that He is with us—within us—and He loves us. 

We don’t understand this. We can’t. We must just accept it. And know that when we become aware of the din, or of our need, he is right there.  We are safe.  We are loved.  That is all we need to know.

God’s peace has nothing to do with our circumstances, and everything to do with His presence.

The post Perfect Peace appeared first on Belovedlove.

If you are reaching for help parenting your teens, Letitia Suk’s new book, “100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens” is a grab-and-go guide to read along the way. Each short, stand-alone tip provides an immediate opportunity to strengthen your relationship with your teen for both now and for the decades ahead.

Here is a sample of three of the tips you can try right now:

Wave the White Flag.

If you are the parent of a teen, you have engaged in some conflict. In fact, you might have instigated it or inflamed it. It is never too late to wave the white flag and start a round of peace talks in your family. Someone needs to step up and stop yelling, door slamming or silent treatment. Might as well be you!

Calling for peace is not glossing over incidents but acknowledging your part in the current conflict. “I was angry, and I insulted your character, I’m sorry.” “I was tired, and I yelled at you. That wasn’t fair.”  Asking for forgiveness is also a huge step but necessary to move on. Conflicts will come and go but the relationship is forever. What your teen sees from you in the way of how to resolve conflict will shape their future interactions as well.

Differentiate Between Rules and Policies.

Try fewer rules, more policies. A policy has flex to it, a rule is fixed. Use policies for the minors of life such as room cleaning, late phone calls, attendance at family events, established study times, etc. A policy can be changed by request, “I need to talk to Sara tonight, but she won’t be home till 10:30. Can I call her later?” You: “OK, thanks for asking.” Exception given, policy still in place.

Rules, however, cover the majors and are not flexible. No point in your teen asking if they can have a party when you’re out of town. Ditto, there won’t be an exception as to whether they can drink and drive or have a sleepover with their boyfriend/girlfriend. Policies can be created on the spot and revised often. Keep the actual rules very few and very clear. Remember, rules without relationship can lead to rebellion.

Enjoy Being a Mom.

To enjoy being a mom, it is important to enjoy your teen. Ask yourself, “What do I enjoy about my teen? What really works in our relationship?” Sure, there are likely stuck places but is important to start with what you are enjoying.

Write those thoughts down, reflect on them, be thankful, and focus on it. If you are having a hard time with this due to current circumstances, think back to what you used to enjoy and see if that is still there underneath a few layers. If you are really stuck, look back at baby pictures. They can renew perspective quickly!

Interested in reading more? 97 more tips are available in “100 Need-to-Know Tips for Moms of Tweens & Teens” (Ellie Claire/Hachette, 2019.)  Beautifully designed with inspirational quotes on motherhood interspersed throughout, this book makes an excellent Mother’s Day gift for yourself or a friend. 

The post Three Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens appeared first on Belovedlove.

10 Tips to Overcome Complaining

1. Give thanks. The moment we realize we are complaining, even if it is just in our thoughts, immediately find something to be thankful. When we develop a habit of thanksgiving, it crowds out our attitude of discontent.
2. Remember how damaging complaining can be. It can cause de-joy, de-struction, dis-content, dis-trust.
3. Let it go: Acknowledge that something’s not perfect, and then let it go. Don’t let your mind continually dwell on it. Usually it is His problem to worry about, not yours. Not something you can change. So let it go. Don’t let those thoughts stick around to fester and eat away at your joy.
4. Ask yourself: Do I do that? My sister has a great habit.  Whenever someone’s actions annoy her, she asks herself “Do I do that?”  You are much more likely to notice faults in others that you have yourself. Asking “do I do that?” helps you identify areas in your life that need work. Seeing your own imperfections makes it easier to forgive those in others.
5. Fill your mind with the positive.   Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Phil 4:8 NAS
6. Read books like 30 days To Taming Your Tongue, by Deborah Smith Pegues. I’ve read this one several times, and will likely need to read it some more.
7. Remember: no one wants to be invited to a pity party.
8. Meditate on scripture:
   • If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. James 1:26
   • Jesus said “It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.” Matthew 15:11 NLT
   • We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to control his whole body. James 3:2
   • Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech. Psalm 34:13
9. Ask God to show you what habits of thought/action need to change to eliminate this toxic practice from your life. What patterns of thought cause negative words to spill out of your mouth? Search me O God…see if there be any hurtful way in me and lead me in the everlasting way. Psalm 139:23-24
10. Ask God to help you tame your tongue.  Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Which of the 10 tips to overcome complaining are your favorites?

Click below to read other posts in this series on “Complaint and Contentment:”

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 1: Complaining

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 2: From Bitter to Better

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 3: Dodge the Urge

The post Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 4: 10 Tips to Overcome Complaining appeared first on Belovedlove.

One way we dodge the urge to complain is by remembering the negative impact it can have on others.

Here are four good reasons to dodge the urge to complain:

1. Complaining causes De-joy. (vs. En-joy) I can be having a great day, and thinking
   things are going well, and someone can gripe about the food, or the weather, or how
   things are being managed, or about another person, and suddenly my mind is drawn to
   what is wrong instead of what is right. Negative words are toxic– they dissolve our joy.
2. Complaining causes Dis-content. Once my mind is engaged in seeing the negative
   instead of the positive, I start to notice the negative more and more. I am caught in a
   whirlpool of unhappy thoughts that can spiral down into depression, hopelessness,
   resentment and self-pity.
3. Complaining causes De-struction. Complaining can destroy your attitude and devastate
   your relationships. The more you complain, the more it infects your mind with negative
   thoughts, destroying your attitude. And the more you complain, the less meaningful
   relationships you will have because:
4. Complaining causes Dis-trust. Not only to people dislike listening to complainers, they
   distrust them. “If she complains about that person to me, what is she saying about me to
   them?”

Jesus said “It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that
come out of your mouth.” Matthew 15:11 NLT

Are you fighting the temptation to complain? Dodge the urge by remembering what your
negative words can cause: de-joy, dis-content, de-struction, dis-trust.

Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

Click below to read other posts in this series on “Complaint and Contentment:”

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 1: Complaining

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 2: From Bitter to Better

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 4: 10 Tips to Overcome Complaining

The post Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 3: Dodge the Urge appeared first on Belovedlove.

Is there a way to get from bitter to better?  To shift our attitude away from toxic negative thinking into a more healthy, positive frame of mind?   

When you are having a bad day, if you are praying at all, think about the kinds of things you are saying to God. Why does everything have to be so hard? Why can’t things just run smoothly, the way I want them to? Why does this ___ have a driver‘s license? 

We don’t really want answers. We just want to vent. To express our displeasure with God’s way of handling the world. (Implying, of course, that we could do it better.) 

But what if, as we are racing along on this runaway train of sourpuss-ness, we decide to do something different—totally unexpected.

What if we just start giving thanks?   

Yeah right, Lydia.  What world are you living in?  What could you possibly thank God for when things are going south? What does that even look like?   

I know, I know. It seems contrary to our circumstances–and our frame of mind–to say “thank you.” But just try eking out one little prayer of thanksgiving. Something like (don’t laugh), “thank you, God, that I am not always in such a bad mood.” Or like my husband Andrew likes to say, “thank you that I am not in a prison in southeast Asia.”  Come on. Admit it. Doesn’t that make you smile just a little bit?   

OK, maybe a little. 

OK now that you’ve broken the ice, what other things can you thank God for on this no-good-very-bad day? 

Thank You, God…

–that this won’t last forever.
–that You are at work, even when I can’t see it.
–that You love me and are with me, no matter what kind of mood I am in. I am not alone.
–that You know what’s going on and will give me strength and wisdom and perspective.
–that You are making good things come from this situation.
–that even when I don’t have the big picture, I can trust that You do, and that You will guide me day by day in how to walk through this.

Getting from bitter to better

Thanking God in the middle of our mess shifts our focus away from our circumstances, and back toward God’s goodness. It reminds us of our love of God, and His for us. It restores our joy in the present. And it gives us peace in the middle of the storm. 

Gratitude doesn’t alter our situation; it transforms our attitude. It takes us from bitter to better. 

Click below to read other posts in this series on “Complaining and Contentment:”

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 1: Complaining

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 3: Dodge the Urge

Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 4: 10 Tips to Overcome Complaining

The post Complaint and Contentment Series – Part 2: From Bitter to Better appeared first on Belovedlove.

In the swirl and stress of daily living, God often uses these 8 words to restore my soul.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

The simple acts of being and knowing, free us from the Twilight Zone of Anxiety, the Abyss of Never Enough.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

Be.

• Just be.
• Be aware of being alive. Appreciate that you have a beating heart, and air to breathe.
• Settle into the truth that
  • You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
  • You are wanted. Treasured. Valued. Loved.
  • You are known and you are loved.

Be still.

• Just stop. Rest. Take a breath. Or two. Be still.
• Be still on the inside, as well as the outside.
• Release all those thoughts swirling around in your head.
• Take your mind off your responsibilities, your concerns, those things in your head that are nagging you.
• Let go right now, and just be still.

And know.

• Let truth sink in.
• Be aware of what is real, and what is not.
• What is beyond seeing and understanding—and is in the realm of just knowing.

Know that I

• Know the Person who made you,
• Who knows you better than you know yourself.
• Who loves you with an everlasting love, which is in no way dependent on what you do or don’t do.
• Who lives within you.
• Who has your back.
• Who has shown, and will show you how to live.
• Who will never steer you wrong.
• Who goes after you when you stray—deliberately or unintentionally–and brings you back to the path of life and joy.
• Who restores your soul, leads you into the light and away from the darkness.
• Who will never leave you or reject you.
• Who keeps you safe—protects your identity, value, belonging and calling—for all eternity.

Know that I am God.

Know that this person–your heavenly father, your friend, your one and only guide in life, your creator—is God.

He is God.

He is

• 100% good.
• The most powerful being in the universe.
• Wise
• Trustworthy
• Present
• Compassionate
• Understanding
• Forgiving
• Non condemning
• Full of life and joy
• Available
• Ready to show you a better way to live
• Committed to walking with you on that way.

“Be Still and Know that I AM GOD.”  Psalm 46:10

How has this truth changed your life?  Please share with us!

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30

The post Be Still and Know that I Am God appeared first on Belovedlove.