God Wants to Draw You Closer to Him

Bill Kuntz — Wed, 19 Oct 2016 17:32:23 +0000

If you are a parent of a child who is oppositional or defiant, as difficult and frustrating as that may feel, you want to find a way to get past their negativity and reconnect. I recall a season when one of my girls had come to the conclusion that my wife and I were bad parents. There seemed to be nothing we could do to convince her that everything we were doing was motivated by love. Eventually her rejection of us became so entrenched that she started to say she wanted to live with a different family.

There is no doubt that we as parents were doing some things wrong, but we loved each of our children with all our hearts. And our hearts were breaking as we saw and heard various expressions of the anger and resentment our child was feeling. We knew it wasn’t really about us, but that didn’t make us any less sad.

You may have already guessed where I’m going with this. God too must feel sad when our attitudes or actions create distance between us and Him. Scripture tells us that sin can separate us from God – not because our sins cause Him to pull away, but because our rebellious hearts pull us away from God and into sin (often some form of idolatry). I used to think when I messed up by doing something bad, God would pull away from me either as a form of punishment or to wait and see if I would repent and return to Him. But I’m beginning to see that when there is distance between God and me, it’s all me. I am allowing sin or selfishness or a bad attitude to draw me away from Him! Often I have under-appreciated the goodness and love of my Father in heaven. I have judged Him as an inadequate, or at least a less than perfect, Dad. And I’m sure this makes God sad.

What about you? Have you been doing things that distance yourself from God? Are you misjudging Him or pulling away because you fear He is angry or disappointed with you? Maybe you have even stopped believing in God because you can no longer find the faith to trust in his goodness and grace. Whatever is going on in your heart, rest assured that God still loves you and still wants to be your best friend. He loves you more than you think (even if you already know that His love is the greatest force in the universe).

If, like my daughter once did, you have allowed your feelings or your situation to distort your perception of one who loves you with a great enduring passion, please reconsider. Your Parent in heaven loves you perfectly and wants to be closer to you! We have all misjudged and rebelled against God. When we come to God through Christ and ask Him to forgive us, we can be confident He will. And as Jesus clearly described in the parable of the prodigal son, our Lord God will run to you and embrace you, when you turn and walk a few steps toward Him — because He truly loves you, and He always wants to draw His children closer to Him.

The School of Suffering

Bill Kuntz — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 18:10:59 +0000

How many of us would enroll in a college named the University of Suffering? I’d probably send my application somewhere else! But Jesus promised his disciples that there would be suffering in life. He didn’t say if you do really bad things you will suffer (although this is often true), and he didn’t say if you insult evil people you might suffer some negative consequences (although this can also occur). He said there will be suffering – period. Not if or maybe, but just that it will happen.

Many philosophers and theologians have wrestled with the problem of suffering and why God allows it, but no one has discovered the definitive answer. We do know that sometimes we suffer for doing something wrong, and sometimes we suffer at the hands of evil people, but sometimes we suffer because we are doing the right thing. And sometimes we suffer for no apparent reason at all – at least we don’t now understand why (but i believe God will explain everything when we meet Him face to face).

I believe one reason God allows suffering is because it teaches us about life, instills patience, and creates the conditions our faith needs to grow. If you think back over your life and recall some of the most difficult times you have endured, I suspect that you can also think of lessons you learned as a result of the hard times you went through. I know in many cases the worst storms of my life produced growth and deepened my faith.

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:16-18)

So, if we know God holds us in the palm of His hand – no matter what, we can trust that no matter what difficulty we face, we will be okay. And we can be confident that nothing can happen to us that God hasn’t allowed. When we have been through a few trials, we usually become more confident that even the worst possibilities bring with them opportunities for growth. As we trust God and are patient in our sufferings, we know that He will make everything work out for our good. After all, life is just a test, and we already know the answer we need to pass the test with flying colors – Jesus Christ! Let’s believe that God knows what he is doing and that His love for us is greater than our struggles. Even though it can be intimidating, the school of suffering is preparing us for a life of eternal joy!

Living for Number One

Bill Kuntz — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 09:10:46 +0000

I have always been taught to look out for “number one” or “numero uno.” A colleague and the medical director of a counseling center where I once worked, would often interrupt anyone who made a comment before he spoke with: “No, No… Marco First!!” Although I did at times admired his strong assertive leadership style, I didn’t usually appreciate being told to effectively shut my mouth until after he made his speech for the day. If I happened to have the bad fortune of speaking out of turn, or if I irritated this strong leader, I would most likely have to pay for it. Once he embarrassed me in front of the entire staff by saying, “So, you are pretty green in this field, aren’t you!?” Well, no, actually I wasn’t, but once he made his proclamations, it really didn’t matter what anyone else said. So, I learned when dealing with aggressive, head-strong people, it was often counter-productive to argue or try to have the last word. Perhaps you have had some similar experiences, hopefully not everyday at work with your boss, or everyday at home with your spouse! Working or living with someone who believes they are ‘Numero Uno’ and always right, is not a lot of fun.

But I think part of the problem is we misunderstand who “Numero Uno” is supposed to mean. Many well-intending friends and family members will tell us to look out for “Number One.” But they don’t usually want us to be rude to others or act like we own the world. What they intend, I believe, is for us not to let others abuse us or take advantage of us. Right? The only problem with this advice is that it doesn’t really define who we are, or what it means to take good care of ourselves. Once we reach the age of 17 or 18, we don’t need to be reminded to practice good self-care; and even if we do need reminders, it’s not likely that we don’t care enough about ourselves. It is more likely that we don’t know what we need or how to go about getting it. Every one of us has desires and needs. Most of us can name a few things we want, and even come up with a pretty detailed Christmas list when a close friend asks for one. The thing we all need – but don’t all know we need – is Someone to fill the “God sized hole in our hearts.” That is, in my opinion, the One big problem that must be attended to each day – or at least several times a week..

How do we truly take care of ourselves when we sometimes don’t even know what we are feeling, needing, or experiencing? A big part of good self-care is asking others for help in learning how to recognize that we are off track – chasing some worthless idol. To pretend that we understand ourselves well enough to anticipate (let alone acquire) what we need, is really rather foolish and vain. When left to our own devices, the human race is notorious for killing more of ourselves than any other species, for majorly messing up the eco-system, and for walking a very thin line between persistent survival and self-annihilation!

I recommend that my clients and friends maintain at least two close, trustworthy, and honest accountability partners – preferably three. This way, we aren’t putting “all of our eggs in one basket” (having only one friend) and we get the added benefit of having 2 or 3 wise mentors available to assist when we actually need some major help.

I also believe, as hard as this is to imagine, that many of us neglect the most important activity we Christians have! Prayer. No amount of accountability to another human being, or animal, or robot, or computer program, or alien from outer space will ever take the place of prayer when it comes to knowing and walking with God. Do you know how much our loving, gracious heavenly Father desires to spend private, one-on-one time with you?

Only God wrote the Book on Love! He alone has written the one true, accurate, and complete ‘owners manual’ for the human race! Have you read it lately? It’s not just interesting reading – it’s required! (Not because I say so…., but rather because He does.)

God wrote us a love letter that also contains a few rules we need to follow. (And we must discover that we can’t follow these rules without a His power and Spirit working in and through us. We need much more help from Him than we think! One Christian author has said that their is good news and bad news. The Bad News is that our sins are many times greater than we feared, the Good News is that God’s grace, forgiveness, and love is hundreds if not thousand’s of times greater than our sin!)

Our instruction manual isn’t supposed to be used as a paper weight, it’s actually meant to be read often and intently. It is our only source of God’s written Word, and a gateway into the heart of Jesus. Take a few minutes today (and preferable everyday) to gaze into this wonderful Book. It is a window into the past, the future, and into both the human heart and it’s only remedy: the only hope for mankind – the redeeming and life-changing love of Christ. God not only cares about what we need to take care of ourselves, He wants to help us take very good care of ourselves. But, it is Jesus who is (and always will be) Number One.

Are you living for yourself – thinking mainly about what you must be doing to constantly fight to pay the bills, to stay on top, or to just survive? Or… are you truly living for Number One? He (Christ Jesus) became the “first fruits” of redemption. the Savior of all who believe, and the elder brother (and LORD) of all the saints (Christians)! Along with God the Father, Christ constructed the entire universe, and even now he is creating, growing, and cleansing us — making us into the children of God He wants us to be – while all of nature cries out to be reunited with Christ.

Jesus didn’t tell the man who inquired of Him that we must always be our brother’s keeper, nor did He agree to make this man’s brother divide up their inheritance … because Jesus had more important things to do! Things like living for his Dad, the great I AM, the big Numero Uno! Jesus, who was Number One in all the Universe, became our servant and taught us how to serve God and Man. We must now take to heart His example, remove ourselves from the “Numero Uno throne,” and serve the One True King. Are you living for Number One – Emmanuel (“God with us”), the Only Son of God who left Heaven to save us from Hell? If not isn’t now a good time to start?

We are all dying to go somewhere. When we die, or when Jesus returns, there will be no more thought about for whom we should live, but for now – I’m going to choose, because I can, to keep living for Number One – for my One and Only Savior and King. How about you?

An Eternal Embrace

Bill Kuntz — Sat, 31 Oct 2015 05:16:45 +0000

Christian community doesn’t just happen. It requires intentionality and a willingness to step outside our comfort zones. Many social, psychological, and spiritual issues can be healed when we allow Jesus to touch us through brothers and sisters who care. As we prayerfully listen, respond, and engage in real Christ-honoring relationships we can become instruments of healing in the hands of God.

While there are many issues that can prevent us from experiencing true Christian community, when we find the courage to connect with one another, many of these issues will be resolved. Fears, especially social phobias, dissipate as we build trust in our closest relationships. The need to look good, shame about past sins, and embarrassment about current struggles can be persistent barriers to real Christian community. But once we discover that the perfect love of Christ resides in His children (our brothers and sisters in the Lord), we need not fear judgement or rejection. This rarely happens quickly or easily; trust takes time and we often damage the tender beginnings of friendship by a perceived lack of love. Yet, this is the process God uses to nurture His people – an ongoing dance of reaching out to one another (and Christ in our midst) as we become His family of faith – firmly founded on His forgiveness.

No matter what destructive attacks the Enemy uses to try to divide us, Christian unity and brotherly love will not be defeated. Satan can try to turn us against one another, and our hearts may at times feel empty of love, but apathy about the needs of others is usually based in fears or resentments from the past. Our future together as God’s children starts now and it will last forever! Nothing in the past can compare to the loving connections that God is creating in His Body the Church!

So, however difficult it seems, don’t let pride, uncertainty, old relational wounds, or an unhealthy level of self-sufficiency keep you isolated from your eternal family – the children of God with whom you belong. Christ died to defeat division, dissension, discord and deadly hostilities. He came to give us an abundant life together and to show us how to love each other well. No matter how difficult the journey becomes – keep moving toward true community. He is with us and in us, and He will always be our Champion and our faithful Friend.

As little children let’s run toward Jesus and let Him teach us how to love. When we bump into or rub against each other, our little stone-like hearts will get sharpened and reshaped – and we will continue to learn how to love and forgive.

Help us, Jesus, to love one another as You gather us together in Your eternal embrace.

Knowing Christ

Bill Kuntz — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 04:16:41 +0000

Sharing our faith in Christ is the most important job we will ever have. It is essential for you and me to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading and to “share the hope that is in us” so that others can come to know Christ. We cannot dismiss this as something only pastors, elders, deacons, missionaries, and ministers need to do. All disciples of Christ have been given the great commission: to “go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”(Mark 16:15)

Do you remember how you first heard about Jesus and His love for you? How did God first plant seeds of faith in your heart? Did a good friend tell you about Jesus? Have you always known that our amazing universe was the handiwork of God? Was it a pastor or evangelist who spoke at your church, or a friend who invited you to their church, or perhaps you just grew up in a home where everyone believed in God, and you grew to know and trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

When did you first learn about Jesus’ great love for you? And that He is the Son of God – the ‘God-Man’ who came to bear the sins of the world? Did a friend recite John 3:16, or did you pick up a Bible and start reading on your own? I came to know Christ after a good friend suggested we read the book of Proverbs, and then the Gospel of John.

What is your salvation story? If you don’t have one, would you like to experience the saving power and love of Christ? You can – right now! Find a Bible and read the book of John – or Matthew, Mark, or Luke – or, just start reading at the beginning in Genesis. I’d suggest you jump ahead, after the first few chapters of Genesis, to the Christmas story (the birth of the Messiah) and read about the life and death and resurrection of Jesus. Then return to reading the Old Testament to discover all the ancient prophesies He fulfilled.

Being reborn through faith in Christ is just the beginning of the believer’s eternal fellowship with God and with all Christ-followers. Spiritual transformation (the process of getting more and more of God inside us) is probably the main goal God has for us in this life.

Yes, there are many wonderful and worthwhile things we can be busy doing until Jesus returns. But is there anything as important as sharing the Good News with our family members and friends? And there will no doubt be opportunities where God leads us to boldly proclaim the Gospel to people we don’t really know.

So, if you don’t mind me asking (and even if you’d rather not think about this), how are you doing with this important assignment? If you don’t consider yourself an evangelist or preacher and feel nervous when giving a 30 second talk in front of a few people – that’s okay. No one is going to make you preach a sermon or do an interview on TV about your faith in God. Although you could find yourself in some similar situations – God will empower you and give you the right words to say if you are asked to share.

Whatever your particular calling or your strengths when it comes to communicating God’s love as revealed in Christ, God wants you to believe in your heart and confess with your lips that Jesus Christ is the only hope for this dying world. Knowing Christ as Lord is the best thing that has ever happened to me or to anyone! Who do you know that doesn’t yet know Him?

-William Kuntz, M.S., LCSW, Licensed Psychologist

Is God the Focus of Your Life?

Bill Kuntz — Wed, 29 Jul 2015 03:04:22 +0000

Why do you exist? What is the purpose of your life? Is there anything more important to you than a close relationship with God?

Perhaps life’s main purpose is to point us towards God and to teach us that we need Him more than we need air or water or food. Ultimately only God can fulfill our every desire. What is God teaching me in my current situation? Is there someone or something that I am trusting, other than God? Am I placing my faith in money, in myself, in my spouse? Or do I truly trust God above all?

Jesus said, “It is written, Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Luke 4:4)

Sometimes we have to question what we truly value and why. Anything that becomes more important than God is an idol – a false god that can lead us away from the one true God. Even the good things we desire, things that God created for us to enjoy, need to be put in their proper place.

I believe throughout our lives we need to look for the path that leads us closer to God. This won’t always be the easiest path. There are many distractions and destinations that beckon us, but where is God leading? We may not know which direction to choose, but we can look to Jesus and follow His example. We cannot even know where our next step will take us, but we can trust that as we seek to walk with God, He will direct our steps.

When I am busy pursuing my comfort, chasing selfish ambitions, or building feeble fortresses in which to trust, I am likely off track and missing the all-sufficiency of Christ.

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” (Psalm 91:1-2)

Sometimes I have found myself doing the right things for the wrong reasons. I need to ask myself if my desire is to build up the kingdom of God and bring glory to Him – or if my actual goal is to look good to others and get them to focus on me.

God sees our hearts and knows our intentions. If our focus is on anything other than pleasing God, He knows.

May our prayer be: “Father, You are my heart’s desire. I want You to be the focus of my life – now and always. Amen.”

The Battle Belongs to the Lord

Bill Kuntz — Sun, 28 Jun 2015 04:59:36 +0000

Many years before God made him a king, David became incensed when he learned that the army of the one true God was frozen in fear – “dismayed and terrified” by Goliath (1 Samuel 17:11 / NIV). Yes, the Philistine was almost 10 feet tall, but what does that matter to the God who created the universe?

When mocked, laughed at, and threatened by Goliath, David stood his ground courageously. This young shepherd told his gigantic opponent that, no matter how impossible it might seem, God would deliver Goliath into his hands. “I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty,” David announced, confident that His God would grant him victory (1 Samuel 17:45 / NIV). Then, in what must have appeared to be reckless courage, David ran towards his adversary.

You know the rest of the story. Goliath was covered in armor, held a huge shield, and held high a giant-sized sword. David had no armor, shield, or sword – only a sling and five stones (four more than he needed)!

I don’t know about you… but when the ‘Goliaths’ in my life try to convince me I am all but dead and that I don’t have a prayer, my faith and confidence tend to crumble. I believe this is often the result of focusing too much on our adversary the devil, our own human weakness, and our personal lack of resources, instead of focusing on our Savior, Champion, and Lord.

The one true and living God, LORD of Heaven and Earth, will ultimately win as we place our unswerving faith in Him.

When will we finally find that our faith is the formidable force we need? Will we then see the true power of Christ over all our foes? Will we trust in Him and rest assured that He lives within us and surrounds us even when we feel inadequate?

Life sometimes has a way of beating us down and bringing us to the edge of defeat. But these are the times when we must stand firm on the Rock of our salvation and confidently wait for Christ to calm the storm. If God can use David to topple Goliath with one small stone, there is no end to what He can do through us! Stand strong young warrior and see what God will do. Remember the battle still belongs to the Lord!

Eyes of Faith

Bill Kuntz — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 20:15:24 +0000

Just because something has always been done a certain way doesn’t mean it is being done the best way or the right way. Popular culture often has no clue about what is good. When we question how the world lives, we are more likely to hear from God and to experience His holy creativity.

Scripture tells us that our thoughts are not the same as God’s thoughts – that our ways are not God’s ways. Yet we continue to try to put God in man-made boxes. We often miss God’s will for us because we fail to acknowledge His infinitely creative power, and the vastness of His unending love.

Our small faith often thwarts the work of Christ. When Jesus walked among us, he exclaimed: “You faithless people! How long must I be with you? How long must I put up with you?” (Mark 9:19, NLV)

When we view life through eyes of faith, and look beyond the physical world, we can see a whole new world of possibilities. Don’t let day-to-day problems, the negative attitudes of others, or your own doubts and fears blind you to the truth. God will always be bigger and stronger than the bullies of this world. Christ has defeated death and the devil, and He will triumph over all opposition. Let’s invite the Lord of the universe to expand our faith and to open our eyes to the truth that is not of this world.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2, NIV)

Marriage – Depression – Divorce

Bill Kuntz — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 10:46:43 +0000

How many times have I seen it? Too may times to count. Man takes woman, woman takes man; man or woman becomes seriously depressed (ill – not just sad or lazy), and man or woman thinks, “If I wasn’t married to HIM or to HER, I wouldn’t be depressed!”

Soon one partner may feel that divorce is the only option, and refusing to listen to her/his spouse or to the voice of reason, the depressed spouse defines all the problems and issues in his or her marriage as stemming from his/her mate’s pathological attitude or behavior. And once the ball start rolling toward separation and divorce, it isn’t easy to stop it. Like the giant boulder in Indian Jones, we often find this an impossibly difficult task. A 100-ton boulder rolling downhill and aimed at you is not only anxiety provoking, it is truly something you won’t be able to stop on your own.

Many of the couples that walk into my office, for one last-ditch effort to save a dying marriage, have already given up. Or… at least one of them has. And once one party has made up his or her mind, it is pretty difficult to convince them that they are wrong or even to believe there is still hope.

Sometimes a brief separation can be a good thing, although I rarely recommend it. When couples are experiencing lots of emotional trauma and/or discord in their marriages, living separately will almost always feel better at first – like a quiet respite from the conflict. This kind of reduction in conflict during a brief separation, does NOT signal that progress has been made!

We must stop defining our mate as “the problem” and wake up to our own problems and idioscyracies that are contributing to marital strain or conflict.

When we are honest, we eventually discover that our preconceived ideas about who is wrong (my spouse) and who is right (me) are very distorted. After all, if both parties are pointing the finger at each other and refusing to admit guilt or responsibility for problems at home, they can’t both be right. The sooner each spouse stops pointing the finger and trying to change their mate, the sooner effective marital counseling and positive change begins.

Unfortunately, in cases involving depression, this tends to be very difficult. If one spouse is constantly dropping the ball, low on energy, unable or unwilling to do anything difficulty, and moody, the other spouse often takes it upon himself to fix their depressed lover. And depression is such a strong mental and physical malaise, that even when the non-depressed (more highly functional) spouse tries to be understanding and caring, the depressed spouse will no doubt misinterpret this act of caring for something he doesn’t want. Then the care-giving spouse begins to burn out or at least feel unnecessary and/or unappreciated.

“Marriage – depression – divorce” need not be the norm (although in our America culture it is). An alternative, less distorted, view of our depressed spouse and distressed marriage is: We are all messed up individuals who sin numerous times and fail every day. And while it is unhealthy to focus on self-deprecating feelings too much (especially if you tend to be depressed already), in order to have a healthy marriage, it is important to say words like: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” – “I love you, and I’m glad I married you.“ – ” You are God’s perfect gift to me, and I love you!”

True Christian Community

Bill Kuntz — Sat, 28 Feb 2015 17:47:43 +0000

I believe there is an universal need for connection, emotional intimacy, and love. No matter how independent, autonomous, and self-sufficient you are, you still need other people. The old adage “no man is an island” is true. Some of us may not have a great need for people, we may be introverted, spend most of our time isolated, and even prefer to be alone – avoiding all contact with others if it is possible, but even then (perhaps I should say especially then) we need to connect at a real level with a few real people.

Our world is becoming increasingly virtual, digitized, and distant. But no robot, automaton, or computer chip can satisfy or replace our need for human closeness. We all need human touch, interactions with coworkers and friends, and a sense of belonging. Babies who are left alone and only given water, nutritional needs (milk), a warm blanket, and shelter, often die from marasmus (the lack of human contact).

Acording to many intelligent deep thinkers, we also need to know that we are loved by Someone or something greater than ourselves. We need a connection with Someone who will always be there for us, even when Mom and Dad are not. I don not feel safe or secure without a connection to my Divine Creator. Even those who don’t believe in God (or in a Higher Power that runs the universe) still need to feel they are a part of something greater than themselves – that life has purpose and meaning.

If you are a Christian or have grown up in church, you understand the basic theology of creation and that God loves you you were taught that He has a plan for your life. But that isn’t enough. Unless you are truly connected to your Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ, and unless you feel genuinely connected to a few Christian brothers and sisters, you are living a life of emotional and relational poverty. God never intended for us to live lives of loneliness, disconnected from Him and His Body the Church. And if you feel dejected or discouraged, you may need to know it isn’t God or true Christ-followers who are rejecting you. God created us to be part of His family.

Many people leave the church and end up missing out on fellowship and friendship with other believers because of bad experiences, social anxiety, or conflict and control issues. Some church attenders leave because they don’t feel welcome, cared for, or needed. Whatever your situation or experience, if you haven’t been participating in the “family gatherings” I want to welcome you back. (If you have no place you feel safe or comfortable – you are welcome to come with me to my church!)

Unfortunately many people attend churches where members are superficial, or uptight and distant. In these churches, I think there is an hunger for connection. If this is true for you, make a change! First, by being more vulnerable, genuine, and brave – reaching out to others where you are already involved, and, if these efforts don’t get results (after a few months), consider finding a worshiping community that consists of at least a few people with whom you can be real.

God wants you to know Him intimately and to be an active engaged member of the Body of Christ. What are you waiting for? Begin now by taking whatever steps necessary to follow Jesus into honest sharing and caring – with Him and with other disciples and seekers. Don’t settle for less; God wants you to experience true Christian community.