How Vivid Colors Helped Me Rediscover Joy, Purpose, and Resilience

For 41 years, I worked as a diagnostic radiologist, spending much of my professional life in darkened hospital reading rooms, staring at the endless shades of gray in medical images.

The work became increasingly demanding. The volume and complexity of studies grew, along with RVU pressures and the relentless expectations of modern medicine. Little by little, there was less time for myself, for my family, and for exploring anything outside of medicine.

I became chronically irritable, frustrated, impatient, and emotionally exhausted. I withdrew from people I loved. I felt spiritually bankrupt. I was in deep burnout. And I remained stuck in the doldrums of burnout for a very long time.

Eventually, my struggles began affecting my relationships with my children, and my marriage. That got my attention. I could no longer deny what was happening. I knew I had to make a meaningful change.

With the wisdom, encouragement, and support of many others and my family, I made a dramatic mid-career transition into physician coaching. The training took two years because I was still working clinically full-time. Becoming a coach changed my life—and, in many ways, saved my mind and spirit.

I took a risk and reduced my clinical work at Stanford Radiology to half-time while building my career as a life and career coach for physicians. Coaching allowed me to become more authentic:  insightful, empathic, and kind. I found greater meaning and purpose in my daily work and more time for professional growth, family, friends, and the activities I loved.

Eventually, I retired from radiology.

My coaching practice was thriving. I was writing, speaking, teaching, and finding deep satisfaction in helping other physicians navigate their careers and their lives.

Yet something was still missing. I felt incomplete. I knew I needed a new challenge—something completely different. Something that would stretch me in a new direction.

Then, in January 2024, I saw a small advertisement in my local newspaper:

“Acrylic Painting for Beginners.”  Something inside me said, Take the class.

So I did.

I had never taken an art class. I had no recognizable artistic talent. I had no idea what I was doing.

And that decision unexpectedly opened an entirely new chapter of my life.

THE SURPRISE: I DISCOVERED I COULD PAINT

Over the past two years, I have experienced a remarkable awakening of a previously hidden part of myself.

I discovered that I could draw. I could make pencil sketches. I could mix and blend acrylic paints. I could experiment with color, texture, light, shadow, and dimension. And, most surprisingly of all, I discovered that I was actually pretty good at it.

Who knew?

Each painting presented a new challenge and forced me to develop new skills. I became fascinated by vivid colors—a joyful antidote to the endless grayness of medical imaging.

And then I realized something else.

Many of the skills I had developed over four decades as a radiologist were helping me as a painter. I instinctively understood shadows, three-dimensional space, perspective, form, and subtle variations in tone. My years of looking carefully at medical images had trained my eyes in ways I had never appreciated.

Slowly, almost without realizing it, I became a painter. And painting began changing much more than my artistic abilities.

It began changing me.

WHAT PAINTING HAS GIVEN ME

Painting has brought me joy, peace, greater self-esteem, and a renewed sense of curiosity. It has helped reduce my stress and improve my mood. The intense concentration required while painting creates a kind of peaceful stillness and focus that reminds me of meditation.

For those hours, there is no RVU pressure, no medical inbox, no patient list, no deadline.

There is simply the canvas.

The color.

The brush.

The moment.

Painting has also strengthened my resilience. It has taught me to experiment, make mistakes, step back, reconsider, and try again. A painting rarely turns out exactly as I imagined it. I have learned to tolerate uncertainty and trust the process.

Those are useful lessons far beyond the art studio.

Painting has also changed the way I experience the world. Going to an art museum is an entirely different experience for me now. I am no longer simply looking at a painting and deciding whether I like it.

I want to get closer.

How did the artist create that shadow? How were those colors mixed? Why is the paint thick in one area and thin in another? How did the artist create that sense of depth?

I am curious in a way I never was before.

And curiosity may be one of the greatest gifts of creativity.

WHAT PHYSICIANS CAN LEARN FROM THIS

Physicians today are experiencing extraordinary levels of dissatisfaction, burnout, emotional exhaustion, and moral injury. Despite individual efforts at self-care, the growing number of institutional wellness programs, and institutional efforts to improve the culture of medicine, the stresses of practicing medicine remain enormous.

As a physician coach, I have spent decades writing, speaking, and coaching about strategies for dealing with those stresses.

Today, I tell my physician clients something I wish I had understood much earlier:

Consider creativity as part of your self-care plan.

We readily accept the idea that physical exercise is essential for our health. We go to the gym to improve cardiovascular fitness, muscle strength, flexibility, and reduce our stress. And we understand that consistency matters. The more repetitions you do, the stronger you become.

Why not apply the same principle to creativity?

You don’t need experience.

You don’t need artistic talent.

You don’t need to produce something worthy of a museum.

I am living proof.

What you do need is curiosity, a willingness to be a beginner, and the courage to try something unfamiliar.

The goal isn’t to become a great artist.

The goal is to become more resilient, happier, more self-aware, more present, and more curious about life.

Painting is only one possibility. You might try photography, music, writing, pottery, woodworking, gardening, dance, knitting, cooking, or any other creative activity that stimulates your senses and captures your imagination.

The specific activity doesn’t matter nearly as much as the act of creating.

TAKE THE LEAP

For years, I believed that my identity and destiny were largely defined by medicine.

Then coaching opened another door.

Painting opened still another.

And I discovered that there were parts of myself I had never given permission to explore.

That may be the most important lesson of all.

Sometimes we don’t need another wellness lecture, another productivity strategy, or another prescription for managing stress.

Sometimes we need to do something completely different.

Something that makes us curious.

Something that makes us feel alive.

Something where we are willing to be a beginner again.

So if there is an art class you’ve been thinking about taking, take it.

If there is a creative activity you’ve always wanted to try, try it.

Take the leap!

You may discover a talent you never knew you had.

But even more importantly, you may discover a new part of yourself.

I did.

And I found something I had been missing for a very long time: Vibrant Color!

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INTRODUCTION

Chaos has become the predominant environment in American Medicine. For many physicians, the joy of practice evaporated long ago. This outcome is the result of multiple complex forces including managed care, corporate acquisitions of practices, an emphasis on RVU production rather than effective patient care and communication, increasing patient volume and clinical complexity, excessive paperwork associated with electronic medical records, longer hours at work, and declining clinical income, among many other factors.

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The International Society for Strategic Studies in Radiology (IS3R) is a non-political, non-profit organization whose purpose is to actively shape the future of medical imaging and image-guided therapies by leveraging the knowledge and influence of world leaders in these disciplines and in related industries. By assessing the potential impact of disruptive innovations on global healthcare, the IS3R aims to inform and guide clinical practice, medical science and healthcare policy.

The Biennial Meeting is a very high-profile, by-invitation-only meeting that is attended by the most outstanding leaders in radiology. Strategic questions in radiology are to be addressed by academic, clinical and industrial leaders. The 2019 symposium will be held under the title “Predicting the Future of Radiology by Inventing It” and will feature sessions on artificial intelligence and globalization, the current and future direction of theranostics, and physician well-being, burnout and resilience. Each session will be introduced by a keynote lecture and, in addition, breakout session featuring panels and allowing for extensive discussions will be held.

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Dr. Moskowitz was invited to present Radiology Grand Rounds at Stanford Medicine on May 10, 2019.  His presentation was titled, “Radiologist-Centered Imaging:  How to Save Ourselves and our Specialty in an Age of Epidemic Burnout.”

The post Grand Rounds, Department of Radiology, Stanford University School of Medicine appeared first on Center for Professional and Personal Renewal.

Dr. Moskowitz has again been invited to participate on the Faculty for the 16^th Annual “Non-Clinical Careers for Physicians” Conference, sponsored by SEAK. The meeting will again be held at the Crowne Plaza Chicago O’Hare Hotel and Conference Center, October 19-20, 2019. Dr. Moskowitz will serve as a Mentor for physician registrants, speaking to each who sign up for up to 15 minutes. Topics of discussion for mentoring are typically focused on how to initiate a career transition, how to identify a suitable non-clinical career, how to deal with professional burnout. Over the course of the two-day meeting, Dr. Moskowitz typically mentors 45 – 55 physician registrants.

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The coming New Year always brings thoughts of self-improvement, and New Year’s resolutions. It’s my experience that most NewYear’s resolutions never come to fruition. The good intention is there, but then problems sustaining them pop up; not enough true ACTION. I call that, “trouble at the border.”

For a kid growing up in a small town in Northern Utah, when I heard the words, “trouble at the border” I usually thought of the endless battles fought by early Utah settlers and the native American Indians of the region.

Two of the most famous of American Indian leaders were Sitting Bull, and Geronimo. You can see their actual face shots, above. Both of them look like formidable men. They were not only fierce warriors, they were also great leaders of their Indian nations.

As a kid, I knew nothing of their character or leadership history. Instead, my friends and I imagined that Sitting Bull was a lazy type, never amounting to much other than sitting. We would call lazy kids Sitting Bull. Geronimo, on the other hand was associated with a call to immediate action! GERONIMO!! we would yell as we swooped down on unsuspecting child cowboys in our backyard play battles.

We can use those childhood fantasies about Sitting Bull and Geronimo to reframe our thoughts as adults about “trouble at the border.”

In coaching relationships, both coaches and their clients work hard together to create a vision or visions for the future. A new chapter, or perhaps a new career, a better way of living, or more fun and better balance. That said, these visions don’t just manifest because we wish them to. They become manifest only when we work hard to plan Specifc, Measurable, Appropriate, Reasonable action steps, with specific Timelines to hold ourselves accountable —SMART ACTION STEPS!. And with appropriate support resources to encourage us to succeed.

As we approach the new year, do YOU want to be a SITTING BULL, just blowing smoke, or do want to be a GERONIMO!! leaping into action? Think about it; the choice is entirely yours.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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Dr. Moskowitz was invited to present Radiology Grand Rounds, an additional mini-workshop, and a second lecture, all as Visiting Professor at UPenn Medicine, Department of Radiology, February 4-5, 2019 in Philadelphia. His Grand Rounds presentation focused on “Personal and Institutional Strategies to Battle Professional Burnout.”  The mini-workshop for residents addressed, “How to Find the Perfect Job in Radiology”.  His third presentation discussed “Values-Based Management of Your Time and Money.”

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Dr. Moskowitz was honored with an invitation to present the 2018 Margulis Society Alumnus Lecture on April 18, 2018.   The biennial Alumnus Lecturer is selected by the Board of Director of the Margulis Society at UCSF Radiology to recognize outstanding contributions to the world of Radiology by former UCSF Radiology trainees.  His lecture, entitled, “Radiologist-Centered Imaging,” discussed the epidemic of burnout in radiology and both personal and institutional solutions.

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