Hello, September! Lots of fun activities this week, from theater to food to clothing swaps to movies to storytelling. Enjoy that weather while you still can!

Fri 8: Sisters Three

Magnet Theater, 7:00 – 8:15, $15

I’ve mentioned Sister Three on before, and the show’s only gotten more buzz since then. It’s a hilarious two-woman whirlwind of a show, with each actor playing a multitude of complex, hilarious characters. Don’t miss it.

Fri 8: Texpat Happy Hour for Harvey Relief

El Original, 735 10th Ave, 5:00 PM – 9:00 PM, $25

Eat some tacos, hop in a photo booth, and raise money for Harvey disaster relief. There are a ton of other events (drone race?!) so check out the Facebook page and head on over!

Sat 9: Black Girl Magic! (ImageNation Outdoors Festival)

Marcus Garvey Park, Harlem, 6:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Free

Stop on by the lovely Marcus Garvey park for an evening of live music, dancing, and a free screening of The Fits, a film exploring girlhood. As the event logo says, it’s an event celebrating the “superflyness of black women and girls!”

Sat 9: The 8th Annual Fort Greene Park Jazz Festival

Fort Greene Park, 85 S Oxford St, Brooklyn, 3:00 PM – 7:00 PM, Free

The weather’s getting crisp, so bring a sweater for this free evening of top-notch jazz in beautiful and historic Fort Greene Park.

Sun 10: Upper West Side Stop ‘N’ Swap

Hudson Riverside Park South, 1:00 PM – 5:00 PM, Free

Do you have a big closet full of clothes you never wear? Of course you do! Grab some of that quality stuff and take it with you (books, clothes, various items) for a big ‘ol trade with lots of other folks. What’s better than getting rid of clothes you never wear? Getting clothes you will! For free!

Sun 10: The Craft: Queer Horror Stories

Tilt BK, 248 McKibbin Street, Brooklyn, 8:00 PM – 11:00 PM, Free

It’s a night of LGBTQ storytelling! I assume it’s not necessary to be obsessed with the 90s cult classic The Craft to enjoy it, but it helps! It’s on Netflix, so you have no excuse.

Mon 11: Brooklyn Book Festival Opening Night Party

Kings Beer Hall – The KBH, 84 Saint Marks Place, Brooklyn, 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Free

It’s the 12th annual Brooklyn Book Festival! Kick it off with an evening of fun featuring ~free drinks~ (while they last.)

Thurs 14: The Ultimate Willy Wonka Party

Alamo Drafthouse, 445 Albee Square W, Brooklyn, 6:30 / 7:30 PM, $27

You don’t have to be a candyphile to love Willy Wonka, but it helps – lots of treats at this fabulous film event! There will also be a Q & A with actors from the film (two of the kids!) so feel free to bring those questions even IMDB can’t answer!

It’s the end of summer coming up! Back to school, moments of brisk air in between the mugginess, and my birthday! I was rather indulgent this week and chose all events that I enjoy and would love to attend with you, had you and I the time and inclination. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Fri 18: Cyclones Game

Brooklyn Cyclones, 1904 Surf Ave, 7:00 PM, $18
Oh man, are Cyclones games fun. I went to my first one with my buddy Kim, seen above. You drink beers, you eat hot dogs, you watch really baseball and cheer like crazy when someone does something. It’s not even expensive- bar food prices all around.

Fri 18: Old School Kung Fu Fest: Wonder Women of the Martial Arts

Metrograph, 7 Ludlow Street, 7:00 PM – 11:00 PM, $15 (all films except $15 except for opening film “Hapkido” at $20)
Kung Fu movies are amazing, and female-centric Kung Fu movies are even more amazing. I’ve had a soft spot for Kung Fu ever since seeing a demonstration at a martial events convention. You know how in the movies they look like they’re flying? They do in person, too.

Sat 19: Smorgasburg

East River State Park 90 Kent Avenue, Brooklyn, 11:00 AM – 6:00 PM, Free
Who doesn’t love a food market? Smorgasburg has more food vendors than almost any food festival you’ll ever find, and they’re all insanely scrumptious.

Sat 19: Don’t Feed the Musicians

QED Astoria, 27-16 23rd Ave, 7:30 – 9:00 PM, $10
QED is a simply splendid place. Board games, popcorn, beer, and cheap entertainment. I’ve taken so many dates to QED (including to this show, a lovely song-and-laugh variety) that I’m starting to worry they’ll come back on their own and overlap.

Sun 20: Enjoy NYC’s Free Pools

Various Locations, 11:00 AM – 7:00 PM, Free
For the cost of the annoyance you’ll feel at having to run through the hose to rinse your hair if the showers aren’t running, you can enjoy a day in the sun popping into one of NYC’s very nice public pools. I haven’t been at all yet this summer, but this is the weekend for it!

Sun 20: Spend the Day at NY Spa and Sauna

NY Spa and Sauna, 149-06 Northern Blvd., Flushing, N.Y, $30
I lived in Korea for five years, and I have a real soft spot for an authentic Korean sauna. For $30, you can spend as many hours as you like rotating between four different hot rooms and a cold room before heading down to the baths. Heaven.

Mon 21: Drunk Dial Congress

Butter & Scotch 818 Franklin Ave, Brooklyn, 5:00 PM – 12:00 AM, Free
The news has been overwhelming for quite a while now. Make a call to your congressperson and receive a free shot during this call-in event.

Tues 22: Captains at Musical Megawatt

Magnet Theater, 254 W 29th St, 9:00 PM, $7
For $7, you can spend an entire evening watching spontaneous musicals performed by some of the best improvisers in New York City. For completely unbiased reasons, I recommend you give this group a try!

Summer is winding down! Beat the late August heat with some boating or some pool time. Water, folks, it’s life.

Fri 11: A Special Evening with Mike’s Hot Honey

Pizza School NYC (Pizza a Casa, Inc.), 371 Grand Street, 6:30 PM – 9:30 PM, $110
“JCo,” you protest ,”$110 seems like a lot of money for a blog that strives for cheap dates.” Not really, my darlings, because since this is a class that will teach you how to stretch, top and bake your own pizzas, you’ll end up saving money in the long run! Plus, it’s a ton of fun, and a delicious date.

Fri 11: Daytime Statue Sail Aboard the Shearwater Classic Schooner

The Battery, Slip 2, 2:45 PM – 4:15 PM, $31
Now, I’ve recommended cruises along the Hudson before, but never in a damn designated historial landmark. Toot around NYC’s gorgeous landmarks in a vessel built in 1929. Enjoy a tasty beverage aboard, which you would NOT have been able to do in 1929.

Sat 12: Dragon Boat Festival

Flushing Meadows, Corona Park Grand Central Pkwy, 11:00 AM – 7:00 PM, Free
I’ve been casually dating a Taiwanese dude I met on Mesh. He promised to take me to Flushing some time, and while I think he may be trying to ghost me, I may just strong-arm him into taking me to see this. Who doesn’t want to watch big dragon boats of people compete for a cash prize and honor? YOU HEAR ME, GOAN YI? WHO DOESN’T?

Sat 12: Trike

Magnet Theater, 254 West 29th St @8th Ave, 9:00 PM, $10

Trike is truly a spectacle. Two men transform themselves into a variety of characters, and slip in and out of those characters with the ease I only have slipping in and out of bars I spotted my ex frequenting. Check them out!

Sun 13: Theater Garage Sale

Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St, 11:00 AM
There is literally nothing better than a theater having a yard sale. No, nothing. No, not your wedding, or winning the Pulitzer Prize, or the birth of your firstborn. Does your firstborn have props and costumes sold for almost nothing?! I didn’t think so!

Sun 13: Doggy Pool Party Fundraiser

Norwind’s, 1043 Flushing Avenue, Brooklyn, 2:00 PM – 6:00 PM
Want to support a local dog rescue group AND watch a bunch of doggies swim around together? Head over to this dog pool party, a raffle, professional photos, and beer!

Weds 16: Grateful Dead Party

Threes Brewing, 333 Douglass Street, Brooklyn, 8:30 PM, Free
Hooray, horrah, a tribute band! Enjoy the smooth sounds of world-famous (or at least, well-reviewed) tribute band Ice Petal Flowers on a night of nothing but Dead.

Thurs 17: Big Gay Roller Skate: SuperHeroes Edition ~ LGBTQ Skate Night

Lefrak Center At Lakeside Prospect Park, 6:00 PM – 10:00 PM, $20 advance / $25 door
It’s a big gay roller skating party! Make sure your superhero mask has holes in the eyes, because you’re going to need them for the sweet dance moves you’re going to be making out there on the rink to the tunes of DJ William Francis.

A grand holiday is coming up! What holiday, Jessica? Bastille Day? Okay, yes, and I have an event for you for that (French songs!) But the holiday I’m excited for is the return of Game of Thrones! I have a couple of juicy GoT ready for you, so get excited. It may be ninety degrees and muggy outside, but know that winter is coming.

Fri 14: MetFridays—French Chansons of the 1930s

The Cloisters, 99 Margaret Corbin Dr, 5:30 PM – 6:30 PM, Free with admission
The Cloisters is a magical place. Birds sing, there’s a lovely courtyard, you’re a bit away from the hustle and bustle- and there’s a world-class chanteuse singing French songs for you. What more romance do you need in life?

Fri 14: Bhang Bhang Bhangra

Friends and Lovers, 641 Classon Ave, Brooklyn, 10:00 PM – 4:00 AM, Free
For the uninitiated, Bhangra dance is a high-energy Punjabi Indian type of dance that’s intensely fun in any situation. Mix it up with some hip hop and you’ve got a killer night of dancing.

Sat 15: The Cast: Game of Thrones Edition

Magnet Theater, 254 W 29th St, 10:30 PM – 11:30 PM, $10
OMGGGGGGG Game of Thrones is coming back!! What better way to prepare for it than with a hilarious night of some of the best improvisers in NYC (according to the NY Times and others) playing your Ned Starkses and your Khaleesis? If, like me, you’re not ENTIRELY sure who survived the last season, this will be a great (if not entirely accurate) catch up on the ~feelings~ of GoT.

Sat 15: Battle Royale Drinking Game

Videology Bar & Cinema, 308 Bedford Ave, Brooklyn, 11:59 PM – 2:00 AM, $10
Kids pitted against kids, forced to dual to the death… great original idea, Hunger Games! As with many things Americans love (ramen, Mario, human-shaped body pillows), Japan thought of it first. Get down with the original and slam ’em back as you follow along with each slice and explosion.

Sun 16: Puppies and Pints

Coney Island Brewery, 1904 Surf Ave., Brooklyn, 12:00 PM – 3:00 PM, $1 (suggested donation)
Coney Island in the summertime! What could be better? Puppiiiiies!!! Head on down and support these pups as they try to find their homes, and take advantage of that puppy photo booth while you’re at it.

Sun 16: Game of Thrones Big Screen Premier

Gemini & Scorpio Loft Douglass St, Brooklyn, 8:30 PM – 12:00 AM, $10 (suggested donation)
You’ve seen the comedy tribute (see above), now it’s time for the real frickin’ deal. So many huge questions! Is Jaime Lannister still hot? Is Daenerys Targaryen still hot? Is John Snow still hot? How did so much inbreeding lead to so many hot nobles? QUESTIONS ONLY THIS NIGHT WILL ANSWER!

Tues 18: Up Close: Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel

Oculus, 33-69 Vesey St, 10:00 AM – 8:30 PM, $15
I’ve been to the Sistine Chapel in Rome. It’s stunning. So is this exhibit, just in a different, fascinating way. The images are presented in a 1:1 format, so what you’re seeing is essentially what Michangelo himself saw as he painted upon the ceiling. It’s astounding how clear and detailed and beautiful the images are up close. How do I know? I went! Take my word for it!

Weds 19: OK Go – Free Concert

Brookfield Place, 230 Vesey Street, 6:00 PM – 9:00 PM, Free
Somewhere, certainly, there is a Korean child with an inexplicable love for quirky and elaborate one-take music videos, because my go-to videos for rowdy classes were always, ALWAYS OK Go videos. They’re fricking geniuses and we’re lucky to be alive in their century. Go see them for free, you lucky ducks.

Happy Easter, everybody! So many fun events this week, from skating to lectures to wine to poetry.

I forgot to do any Passover events last week, so let’s make it an atheist twofer as I completely neglect any Easter events. C’mon, you know what you’re doing for Easter if you’re celebrating Easter! Those of you who don’t know, go grab a glass of wine on at a dang rooftop vineyard.

Fri 14: Free Admission Skate Party!

Brooklyn Bridge Park Roller Skating, 150 Furman St- PIER 2, 3:00 PM – 6:00 PM, Free
It’s that time of year again… roller skating time! Enjoy the warm weather with a walk around the block, and pop in for some free skating! Bring your own skates or rent some for $6, whichever works for you.

Fri 14: Applications of Short Form Class Show 

Magnet Training Center & Rehearsal Space, 22 W 32nd St, Fl 10th, 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Free
This is a free improv show inspired by the short form improv made popular by the TV show Whose Line Is It Anyway? I was pretty uncomfortable with using a picture from that show to advertise that event, so here is my spiritual godfather and original cast member of the American Whose Line, Greg Proops. This show will conjure his majesty and wit, to be sure!

Fri 14: Midnight Market: Desert First

Midnight Market Jersey City 147 Harborside Financial Center Platform, 6:30 PM – Midnight, $5

Look, we all love food. There’s evidence of this all around. For one thing, I’m eating food right now. For another, restaurants exist. The best kind of food, according to many people including myself sometimes, is DESSERT. Head on over to the ~midnight market~, pay $5, and have access to 20 vendors selling their wares for $5 or less.

Sat 15: Tax March NYC 

Bryant Park, 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM, Free (unless you’re Donald Trump! Then the price is your damn tax returns!)
Every year, I submit my kindly step-father to the mess of income statements and confusing forms known as My Taxes. Because I am not super-rich or even regular-rich, I have to pay an enormous part of my income to support Tomahawk Missile strikes. Men like Trump pay… well, nobody fully knows, because he won’t submit his tax returns to the public. Do you want them? March!

Sat 15: Free Screening of the Film Hidden Figures

Jacob A. Riis Neighborhood Settlement, 10-25 41st Ave, LIC, 6:00 PM – 9:00 PM, Free
After Oscar season, I scoured places to see the nominees/winners (I’m a “late to the party” kinda girl.) I was able to see Moonlight (so good) and Manchester by the Sea (zzzzzzz), but I wasn’t able to find Hidden Figures. Finally, there’s a way!!! Enjoy a free screening of a film that would have to be literally a slowly drying bowl of hand sanitizer to beat Manchester by the Sea in every possible category.

Sun 16: Tour & Wine Tasting at Rooftop Reds, the World’s First Rooftop Vineyard

Rooftop Reds Sand St and Navy St, Brooklyn, 12:30 PM – 1:30 PM, $30
It’s a rooftop! It’s a vineyard! It’s a rooftop vineyard! If that blows your mind, it’s time for a tour and a tasting. How often do you get to experience the FIRST EVER of something?

Sun 16: Quiz for a Cause 

QED Astoria, 27-16 23rd Ave, 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM, $5 (suggested donation)
Show your date how smart you are AND how generous you can be at this event, which raises money for the Southern Poverty Law Center in its mission to squash hate and support justice.

Thurs 20: Abandoned America with Matthew Christopher

Mid-Manhattan Library, New York Public Library (NYPL) 455 5th Ave, 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM, Free
This illustrated talk will delve into the why of America’s abandoned spaces. Gape at stark images of hospitals, malls, and factories as you listen to speaker Matthew Christopher’s analysis of “the quiet catastrophes dotting American cities.” Oooh, eerie.

Thurs 20: Brooklyn Poets Anthology Launch Party 

Smack Mellon, 92 Plymouth St, Brooklyn, 7:00 PM – 10:30 PM, $15 advance/$20 door
Rub elbows with Brooklyn’s literary elite as you spend some time in the gorgeous Smack Mellon venue as you enjoy drinks, hors d’oeuvres, and your own copy of the Poets Anthology book, which retails for $25.

Wooo, it’s been a VERY April week! Rain! Nice weather! Rain! Nice weather! To celebrate the ~changability~ of the season, I’ve found a real variety of events! From a free improv show to a dance party, a SCIENCE THROWDOWN to a couple of boozy events, there’s something for almost everyone in this week’s picks.

Fri 7: Free Improv Show

Magnet Training Center, 22 W 32nd St, Fl 10th, 7:00 PM, Free
Have you ever thought about taking an improv class? People seem to enjoy it, right? Well, Magnet Theater offers two free ways to see if you’re interested: You can take a free class to try it out, and you can watch class shows for free. This class is a Level 1, so it’s improvisers who are just learning the ins and outs. Check it out, and see if it’s something you’d like to try!

Fri 7: Ladies First: A Dance Party 

Littlefield, 622 Degraw Street, Brooklyn, 11:00 PM, $7 (advance) / $10 (door)
It’s a dance party for Planned Parenthood! This one celebrates all the ladies of music, featuring tracks from “truth tellers, rhythm makers, groundbreakers, ass shakers, mic-dropping mothers of all things loud, proud, fierce and funky.” Sounds awesome!

Sat 8: Orchid Evenings – New York Botanical Garden

New York Botanical Garden, 2900 Southern Blvd, Bronx, 6:30 PM – 9:30 PM, $25/$35
Do you want to feel like a fricking princess in an exotic land for an evening? Head up to the Bronx, where you’ll be ~delighted~ with the scents of fragrant flowers and an open bar to enchant you and your date. If you’re bored, enjoy the dance stylings of the Somapa Thai Dance Company… but why are you bored?! What’s wrong with you?!

Sat 8: NYC Boozin’ Through The 90s Bar Crawl

Various locations, 12:00 PM – 9:00 PM, $13-$30
I wasn’t cool in the 90s, but I wish I had been. Look at JTT up there?! Wouldn’t you have wanted a little smooch from that kid!? Remember an idealized version of the 90s with all your buddies as you travel through various bars. Dress up in 90s gear for drink specials and ultimate fun.

Sun 9: Bloody Mary Fest

The Grand Prospect Hall, 263 Prospect Ave, 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM, $50-$84
If you’re me, you came gently and slowly to a love for Bloody Marys. If you’re like my sister, you came out of our mother’s womb demanding vodka and Worcestershire sauce. However you came to love them, Bloody Marys are the best, and it’s damn time for a decadent fiesta celebrating the world’s best. Go on and feel like a millionaire with some of the finest bloodies in the world catered by top-notch restaurants and bars.

Sun 9: Luna Park Opens! 

Luna Park, Coney Island, 100 Surf Avenue, Brooklyn, 10:00 AM open/rides at 12:00 PM, Whatever you spend
It may still feel yucky and gross outside, but as long as Luna Park is opening, summer can’t be too far behind! If you get there early and are among the first 100 to ride the Cyclone, it’s free!

Mon 10: Bachata Sensual Class

Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 8th Ave, Fl 16th, 7:30 PM – 9:30 PM, $20
Dancing is a very sexy skill to have, and bachata is a very sexy dance. If you’ve been looking for a way to expand your ~movement vocabulary~, this is a great opportunity to do so. Drop in, pay $20, and become the sexy dancer you’ve always been inside!

Thurs 13: Science Throwdown: Sea vs. Space

American Museum of Natural History, 198 Central Park W, 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM, $22-$25
It’s the age-old battle: the sea vs outer space. Well, maybe not, because our sea is limited (although unfathomably huge) and space is literally infinite. EITHER WAY, there’s gonna be a science throwdown about it, which I think is hilarious and is hosted by Faith Salie, my public radio crush. Please be my date?

I always strive for a nice variety in these events blogs, but rarely do I manage an offering of an alt rock bingo night, a Shakespeare convention, a theater yard sale, and a mac ‘n cheese bakeoff. Whatever your pleasure (unless it’s sports games… that’s my dead zone, guys), I’ve got somethin’ for ya.

Fri 24: Womens New Moon Circle: Aries

Loom Yoga Center, 1087 Flushing Ave, 8:30 – 10:30 PM, $20
Have you been wanting to connect to your inner goddess? Join some local women for a night of connecting with Courageous Leaders. Don’t forget to bring your materials for your altar, including crystals and treats.

Fri 24: The Sense-ations!

Producers Club Theaters & Barm 358 W 44th St, Fl 2, 8:00 PM, $15 (discounts available)
It’s an improv show features a bunch of musical stars who are also superheros?! Whatever the case, you’ll be laughin! The show also features musical guests, so bring your dancing pants. (We all have dancing pants, right?)

Sat 25: Yard Sale Market

Vital Joint 109 Meserole St, Brooklyn, 7:00 PM – 11:00 PM, Free
I have a friend who goes apeshit whenever the NY Opera sells off its costumes. The drama! The excitement!!! That’s kind of how I feel when a theater sells off its props. You know there’s gonna be weird, awesome stuff. Come listen to some music, hang out with artist types, and example the strange and bizarre treasures left behind by experimental shows.

Sat 25: Merriam: A Matzah Ballin’ Good Time

Sea Tea Comedy Theater, 15 Asylum Street, 9:00 PM, $15
Are your spirits a big low? It’s time for a drag cabaret! Enjoy one dame’s tale of a passover past, with plenty of jokes, music, and Jewish mom-ing.

Sun 26: Lindy in the Park: Washington Square

Washington Square Park, 1:00 PM – 3:00 PM, Free
I hope you kept on your dancin’ pants- it’s time for some swing dance with a live jazz band, all in everybody’s favorite park! Bring your partner or meet one there, who cares; dance unites us all!

Sun 26: Mac & Cheese Smackdown

Houston Hall, 222 W Houston St, Various 2-hour sessions, $35
Last week we plugged a meatball showdown. Now it’s time for meatball’s chubby cuzzy to get her hand in the ring: MAC N CHEESE. For your $35 you get to scarf down delicious carb/cheese delights from all the entrants, washed down with two delicious beers.

Tues 28: Rock N Roll Bingo

Pinks, 242 E 10th St, 10:00 PM – 11:00 PM, Free

It’s bingo, but with rock n roll music! (Pretty straightforward, right?) This week’s theme is “alt rock,” so if you’re brushed up on your Radiohead, Green Day, Nirvana, and other groups of aging white men, here’s the night for you!

Thurs 30: ShakesCon 2017

Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural & Educational Center, 107 Suffolk St, $10-$35
Well, over the past few weeks I’ve covered a cat convention, a Beatles convention, and a witch gathering. None of them have gotten me as excited as this Shakespeare convention, which sounds like a thing divine, for nothing natural I ever saw so noble. They’re doing all five acts 12th Night with five different theater companies, guys. OMG… I mean, *Marry! *The internet tells me this is an Elizabethan exclamation

It’s St. Patrick’s Day! This is Jessica here at Mesh encouraging you not to drink anything green or to seek out alcohol poisoning. Rather, hit up a dive bar (responsibly!) to eat corned beef and cabbage, and to some nifty places to listen to Irish music. Faol saol agat, gob fliuch, agus bás in Éirinn!

Fri 17: St. Patrick’s Day at Iron Horse

The Iron Horse, NYC 32 Cliff St, all day, cheap
I went to Iron Horse recently with a friend of mine, and we had a delightfully divey time. If you’ve never been, now is the moment. The beer is cheap, the burgers are hot, and the music is loud. It’s like a bar in Ohio somehow landed in lower Manhattan, and if there’s anything that’s going to make me feel more like I’m at home with my Ohio Irish Family, it’s Iron Horse. They’ve got corned beef and cabbage and $2 beers. What more do you want?

Fri 17: St. Patrick’s Day show with U2 Tribute: Unforgettable Fire

DROM, 85 Avenue A, 7:00 PM – 11:00 PM, $30
I can’t believe the news today. It’s such a low price, such a low price you have to pay. To seeee, to see U2 but not U2. To see, to seeeeeeeeeeee. Toniiiiiiiight, you can see these guys toniiiiiiiiiiight. Toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiight….

Sat 18: Rogue Diplomats in Astoria 

Blackbirds, 41-19 30th Ave, Astoria, 9:00 PM – 12:00 AM, Free
It’s fun and energetic traditional Irish music, mixed with some contemporary flair! What better way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, other than drinking and watching parades and such?

Sat 18: The Ghosting Hour: Springtime Edition

The PIT Loft, 154 W 29th St, Fl 2nd, 11:00 PM – 12:00 AM, $7
I was ghosted twice in the past two weeks. Am I a monster, unworthy of love? Probably, and maybe you are too. Go feel better about the depressing state of dating by watching a bunch of improv teams (musical and tradish) yuck it up. ♫♪ Laugh away the pain. ♫♪

Sat 18: Spirit Tribe presents: Elements ☆ A Full Moon Gathering

The Paper Box, 17 Meadow St, Brooklyn, 10:00 PM – 5:00 AM, $30
Dancing! Music! Blacklight body paint! Celebrate with sound shamans, which was undefined on the event page but I assume are people who manipulate sound waves in a magical way?

Sun 19: Brooklyn Meatball Throwdown

Brooklyn Bazaar, 150 Greenpoint Ave, 2:00 PM – 5:00 PM, $20
BRING ON THE BALLS! All-you-can-devour, only $20. May the best ball WIN!

Sun 19: Corgi March Frapness Meet up 2017!

Tompkins Square Park, 500 E 9th St, 2:00 PM – 4:00 PM, Free
It’s probably not going to be as snowy as the above picture, and even Google could not tell me what “frapness” means, but this is going to be a bunch of corgis gathered in one spot and your heart has to be dead like the early spring flowers to want to miss that.

Mon 20: The Lady Sketch Show

Magnet Theater, 254 W 29th St, 9:00 PM – 10:00 PM, $10 
By women, for women! This awesome event is part of a free workshop open to anyone identifying as female. Over the course of six weeks, these women write and workshop sketches, some of which are selected to be performed on stage. Not only is this an awesome way to bring women into the comedy community, it’s also a hilarious opportunity to support your sisters.

So many fun events this week! Movies, trivia, food, social justice events, theater… it’s all here, babies. Enjoy this gorgeous city!

Fri 10: Bring It On – presented by Slumber Party Film Society

Videology Bar & Cinema, 308 Bedford Ave, Brooklyn, 7:00 PM – 9:15 PM, $10
One of the great American classics, Bring It On is often credited for reawakening the cheerleader film genre. Come in a cheerleading outfit or with your ~best friend’s brother~ as a date for a free drink!

Fri 10: Sanctuary City : A Benefit for #NoBanNoWallNoRaids

Friends and Lovers, 641 Classon Ave, Brooklyn, 10:00 PM – 4:00 AM, $10-$20 (sliding scale)
It’s a night of music and dance, the proceeds for which support “three community organizations doing vital, on-the-ground work.”

Sat 11: Cat Camp NYC

Metropolitan Pavilion, 125 West 18th Street, various prices
Love cats, but your evil landlady won’t even let you have a pet houseplant? Head on over to Cat Camp! Meet cat celebrities (lol) like Lil Bub and meet lots of adoptable cats. Shop your little cat heart out, and enjoy other amenities that will get your little feline heart singing.

Sat 11: The Stay Woke Comedy Show

Starr Bar 214 Starr Street, Brooklyn, 8:00 PM – 11:00 PM, $5-$10 (suggested donation)
This event is half- comedy show, half-activism gathering. Proceeds go to UnLocal, a non-profit organization that provides immigrant child legal services and deportation defense, and features monologues on immigration and first-generation identity. Have fun and resist fascists.

Sun 12: First Annual Oddities Flea Market

Brooklyn Bazaar 150 Greenpoint Ave., 11:00 AM – 6:00 PM, $2
Flea markets are fun, and often offer the tantalizing possibility  that you’ll find something ~weird~. Well, this one promises more than a possibility- it’s guaranteed. Featuring tarot card readings, strange bits of medical history, taxidermied animals,  and malevolent ghosts (I assume), it’s a flea market you won’t forget (muahaha).

Sun 12: NYC Food Truck Fest 

Grand Bazaar NYC, 100 West 77th Street, 10:00 AM – 5:30 PM, Free
While you’re shoving your face, the organizers of this event will be gathering your money to support public schools. Provide for those children while you’re noshing on Luke’s Lobster, Gorilla Cheese NYC, Neapolitan Express, and more!

Tues 14: The Office Trivia

Tavern on Third, 380 3rd Ave, 8:00 PM – 9:30 PM, Free
THE AMERICAN OFFICE IS BETTER! There, I said it. Wanna fight!? All you have to do to prove your love for the American Office is to reserev yourself a spot, head on over to Tavern on Third, spend $10 on booze/food (easy to do), and throw down for the trivia glory.

Thurs 16: Silence, Please!

Magnet Theater, 524 W 29th St, 10:00 PM – 11:00 PM, $10
I saw this show last week, and it’s GREAT. It’s a lot like old Warner Brothers cartoons, where an orchestral score accompanies a wacky and hilarious journey between furry characters, only the furry characters are very funny improvisers.

This week’s theme is ~nostalgia~! All but one of these activities (give me a damn break) is about diving into the past and remembering how things were in yonderyear, from the 1920s to the earlier 2010s. Listen to a Beatle, drink some dranks, and have a good week.

Fri 3: Prohibition Style Cocktail Party

Vanity 59, 59 West 21 Street, 9:00 PM – 4:00 AM, $50
What the heck else are you gonna do with that flapper costume gathering dust in your closet?! Throw on some sassy clothes, head on over to Vanity 59, and sample some Prohibition-era cocktails while getting your dance on. It’s actually a pretty good deal (open bar 9:30-11:30) unless you consider that in the 1920’s, $50 could have bought you a gilded mansion.

Fri 3: Sunshine at Midnight: Pink Flamingos

Sunshine Cinema, 143 E Houston St, 11:55 PM, $12
It’s the 45th anniversary of this John Waters film, which catapulted the man into the world of filthy movies that glorify bad taste. If you haven’t seen it, it’s time- and it should be in a theater where you can really feel the full debauchery.

Sat 4: The Fest For Beatles Fans New York Metro 2017

Hyatt Regency Jersey City, 2 Exchange Pl, $120 (full weekend)
It’s a Beatles convention! I didn’t even know those existed! To get your little Beatles mind a’racin, here are a few of the activities on dock for the day: Beatles 60s Dance Party, Lookalike and Dress-Up Contest,  Saturday’s Beatles Sound Alike Contest, The Beatles Ashram, Live Beatles Trivia and Game Shows… just check out the event page for all the details; it’s nuts. You’ll be screaming “help!… get me in!” and that’s the only Beatles reference I’m gonna make.

Sat 4: Being Jane Austen Chapter II

The PIT Loft 154 W 29th St, Fl 2nd, 10:30 PM – 11:30 PM $10
Look, we all know what it’s like to find love in an environment of desperately trying not to lose one’s status due to the unfair inheritance laws of the 19th century. It’s oppressive, but hey, it’s home! Come watch improvisers bring some comedy to this grim reality, and try not to cry when you remember that after the show your distant male cousin will become the master of the only home you’ve known.

Sun 5: Dyke Disco

Henrietta Hudson, 438 Hudson St, 4:00 PM – 8:00 PM, Free
It’s another dyke takeover! Have a drink and dance to some smooth vibes. I’m particularly intrigued by DJ’s “unparalleled love for the beach and beats,” and deeply hope that this love comes with a costume.

Mon 6: Bridesmaids Trivia

M1-5 Lounge, 52 Walker St, 8:00 PM – 9:30, Free
Remember when women FINALLY showed that they could be funny? Travel back in time to 2011 when the world was shocked, SHOCKED to see that people would go to a movie to watch women talk about dicks and poop on the street. I love this movie, and so do you. Go prove to the world how much you remember about it (“I’m pooooooor”)

Thurs 9: Vegan Drinks Brooklyn

Reclamation, 817 Metropolitan Ave, Brooklyn, 8:00 PM – 10:00 PM, Free
Lots of drinks aren’t vegan, brah. If you’re vegan or have vegan friends, this is obvious. What isn’t obvious is how to get vegan drinks at some places. Fortunately, this event has lots of great options for you non-meat product eaters, as well as a food vendor to gnosh on. (Don’t eat the vendor; eat the food. Eating vendors is not vegan.)

Thurs 9: Go Ricki!

QED: A Place to Show & Tell, 27-16 23rd Ave, 9:00 PM – 10:30 PM, $8
If you’re anything like me, you spend way too many afternoons and evenings watching Ricki Lake. She felt like Jerry Springer’s friendlier, slightly WASP-ier version of trash TV, and boy was that catharsis after finding out that Jimmy was actually two-timing Michelle (SHE KNEW IT) was good for an impressionable 6th grader. At last, there is a comedy show that riffs off the theme of Ricki, as they delve into “fake friends, nasty neighbors, two-timing traitors, and more!”