As such, it’s been a very quiet year.  I assume I’ve succeeded on both accounts.

I never went away.  I’ve still been there at each feed and forum.  Just reading.  Just watching.  Maybe waiting?  Noticing and observing that everyone has been perfectly well off without me.

My presence adds no value.  My absence makes no difference.

If you ain’t seen it, here’s what I say in my profile…

I’m not as outgoing as I may seem. I’m actually dealing with quite a bit of social anxiety. I tend to do well on forums and crowded groups. I can just sort of “be there” without demanding any one person’s focus or having any one person in my focus.

Usually when faced with any one-on-one contact, I can get very tense.

I don’t roleplay. Not that I can’t or I won’t. I just don’t. The kinds of interactions that come with roleplay trigger some of my worst

If I’m not sending IMs or even not responding to IMs I get, it’s not because I don’t want to talk. It’s more likely that I’m just afraid and probably over-thinking a lot of things. The more I consider you a friend, the more I tend to over-think things.

This doesn’t grant me a free pass to be a jerk. If I am being a jerk, feel free to call me out on it.

Long story, short: I’m not ignoring you. If you have been my friend, you still are my friend. My silence is a matter of anxiety and fear.

Please don’t misunderstand.

… and that covers it. (._.)

See, the thing is the more time I’m spending with people, the higher my anxiety drives.  The worst parts of my mind take over and I start seeking out a means of escape.  Not knowing whether my presence or absence would be more of a burden to others, I can really start to freak out inside… And that’s even after I’ve found a way to be around people. (>_<)

Getting there can be the hardest part.  For anyone who follows my profile feed, it can be too difficult to notice that a majority of my pictures come from my room in my main SL house.  Odds are, I’m really actually waiting.  I can see a person or two on my friends list who I’d really like to visit.  But as much as I want to, I just can’t get beyond myself to reach out to them.  So, I’m stuck.  At the same time, I’m being an indirect burden by holding this expectation that they’d reach out to me.  So, it’s like a lose-lose.  If I’m with them, I’m a burden through the tension I build around me.  If I’m away, I’m a burden because they know I’m here but unsure of where I really want to be. (._.)

All in all, I make for a pretty horrid friend.  Worst of all, I don’t even know what to do about it.  I’ve been to social anxiety group therapy where I basically learned that the anxiety I feel while in the group interferes with the intended treatment of the anxiety I’m there for in the first place. (>_<)

I’m sure this makes me annoying to be around and likely due to the bulk of pictures in my profile coming from one cluttered little room.  If I could find a way to be better for the people I want to be around, I’d take it. (._.)

I’m not shy.  I’m just freaking out. (._.)

====

Not sure if he responded since.  I kinda quit paying attention. =^-^=

In other topics, blue LEDs make everything cooler. (^_^)y

But, one thing happened lately.  My graphics card went all kaboom. (>_<)

So, how does one replace a GTX580 Classified?  Well, with a GTX980 Classy, no? =^-^=

So, I got the speedy new card and started poking at the clock to see what I could squeeze out of it.  While I was at it, I decided to play with the voltages and clock of my CPU as well. (^_^)

Eventually, I got the CPU clocked stable to 4.5GHz.  And GPU is just skirting 1.5GHz.  Plenty fast for my junkbox.  But… Well… I ran the Unigine Valley Benchmark and my fans got annoyingly loud. (>_<)

Oh, and, running Prime95 would send my CPU totally into thermal shutdown in under a minute. (>_<)

So, yeah, hot.  HAWT, I TELL YOU! DX

As usual, I decided to solve this problem by throwing some money at it. (^_^)

End result has me running a big ol’ pump into a Phobia waterblock, then an AlphaCool Monsta 120 radiator, then*, then another AlphaCool Monsta radiator… This time a 240. (^_^)

What’s with the *, you ask?  Well… There isn’t yet a full-card waterblock for a GTX980 Classy.  It’s a big frigg’n board compared to the reference and most other customs…  But, I hear one is coming out on Tuesday. (^_^)

So, that * fills a void which will be my graphics card’s waterblock. (^_^)

It’s already running tons better.  To start, it actually RUNS Prime95.  That’s a start, no?  =^-^=

Beyond that, it’ll run it for well over an hour without a glitch.  Time to start poking at that clock again. (^_^)

Also, for looksies, I added some chassis lights.  Now, not regular every day lights.  NEOPIXELS!!! XD

If you don’t know, NeoPixels are some trick little RGB LED strips available from AdaFruit.  Each LED along the strip can be assigned a colour at any given moment. So, I got to work with some Arduino code to drive them according to an analogue input. (^_^)

Stick a thermistor circuit to that analogue input and suddenly I have a heat-map-ish colourful display of the computer’s current temperature. (^_^)

What comes from this is dim and dark blues for room temperature times, like bootup.  Then it goes to cyan and green and yellow, and orange finally to red.  So, depending on any given load, I can get a really quick eyeshot of how warm my machine’s guts are getting. (^_^)

But, what happens after red?  I mean, it kind of is entering the realm of overheat at that point.  Well, I worked that out too.  CHAOS MODE!!! XD

If the temperature passes red in any way, it starts flickering and blinking.  The further it goes, the more intense the flickering gets and the more the other colours start popping in to add to the show. (^_^)

It also has a couple PWM outputs driven by temperature.  Someday I’ll make a driver circuit so that I can use it as a fan speed control.  But, for now, blinky lights do the trick. (^_^)

Here’s a collection of pics of my ghetto-fab computer box. =^-^=

This is a shot in the side.  Still plenty of fans going, but, all nearly noiseless. (^_^)

Here’s cool green mode.  Generally it’s this colour at idle or when watching Youtubes. (^_^)

Warm orange comes about after about a half hour of Prime95 or a plenty long SL session. (^_^)

Finally, a shot of teh gutz.  The 120 radiator hangs from fan screws through the case.  Interestingly enough, the case has pre-cut holes and ferrules to run hose through.  They aren’t perfectly aligned, but, not crooked enough to be a problem either. (^_^)

Also, the 120 radiator is on 1/4″ spacers.  So, the case fan still blows out and through the radiator.  But, the radiator also has a pull fan hooked up to a speed controlled fan jack.  So, they can fight it a little with the gap letting air go where it pleases. (^_^)

The 240 is up front.  So far they’re fixed speed fans.  They’ll be what I speed control by the Arduino in the coming future. =^-^=

So, there be it!  I ain’t got overheats to worry about any more.  Once that GPU waterblock comes out, things gonna get reeeeeally quiet. (^_^)y

I really wish I could get NextGen Gallery to behave.  It would be easier to show this stuff off. (=_=)

Anyway, SL has been pretty cool lately.  Kind of quiet, though.  Not sure what to make of that.  But, considering I tend to be afraid of everyone I know, I guess that’s to be expected. (>_<)

But, Blender! XD

So, I been having a blast with Blender and cycles rendering.  Especially making shinies. =^-^=

Most of the times I been sticking with the most basic of shapes and a texture here’n there.  Doing it mostly for fun, so, I haven’t really … Well, I don’t quite know how to do complex stuff, really. (O.o)

Anyway, stuff rendered in cycles is really cool.  I been making all kinds of things with different shapes to see how reflections and such behave.  I even did some fluid stuffs. (^_^)

For SL, I’m making an attempt at a rigging.  I expect to break things really soon, so, who knows if I’ll ever be able to upload it.  For one, when using Avastar, how would I rig 3 to 4 LOD models and have them come out the same? (O.o)

Once I figure that, I’ll have me one trippy barely-there plugsuit. =^-^=

Here’s the project in action. (^_^)

… And here’s some of the stuff I been doing in cycles. (^_^)

Why yes.  I am quite bored… (=_=)

I spent a long time looking for an eye UV I could trust.  The most I could find were blurry, off center, or just a stolen eye texture from wherever. (>_<)

Plus, the last time I saw one that got the top/bottom relationship right, it was still a misaligned mess. (>_<)

So, out of boredom and annoyance, I do present…

Immy’s Evil SL Avatar Eye Template! =^-^=

That’s all.  It’s got the raw UV from the SL model and a few guides on where to place the iris and lens… And markers for the sideways top thing that SL eyes just plain got. (=_=)

So, yeah, there it is.  PNG and PSD format.  Not so sure about the PSD, though.  I use an Jasc PSP8 and the exporter could be insanely outdated. (>_<)

Oh, yeah, and they’re big.  Like 1024×1024 big.  So, when getting legit eyes ready for upload, go for something like 128×128 or 256×256.  They aren’t going to take up more than 25×25 pixels of screen space most of the time, anyway.  (^_^)

Enjoy! (^_^)y

[21:21] —————-: hi
[21:22] —————-: I am new here, and i have no idea what to do
[21:22] Immy: No worries. (^_^)
[21:22] Immy: SL isn’t so much about what you have to do as it is what you want to do. But, if you have any questions, please do ask out in public chat. We have lots of helpers here. (^_^)
[21:23] —————-: ok, thanks
[21:23] Immy: Early on, I advise; If you find yourself at a place you’d like to return to, click World >> Landmark This Place. (^_^)
[21:23] —————-: seem you do not want to talk to me
[21:24] Immy: Eh? I can’t say IMs are my favourite thing. But, I’ll provide answers for SL related questions. Don’t mind me if I seem distracted, though… SL can be a busy place. (>_<)
[21:25] Immy: After some networking, you may wind up finding yourself juggling a number of IMs, group chats, and maybe even outworld stuff like Steam, Skype, or whatever people wind up sharing. (^_^)
[21:25] —————-: well hopefully it will be a busy place
[21:26] Immy: That, it is. But it does require some effort. Nothing here is pre-made or standardized. Everything is user made. That makes things both very possible and impossible. (^_^)
[21:27] Immy: You can pretty much decide all that you want to do. Things like chatting, building, scripting, events, and such come without a price most of the time. (^_^)
[21:29] Immy: Oh, and it looks as though you’re using click-to-move. I’d advise against that. It’s a rather unfinished feature and moving around using the arrow keys on your keyboard will make things much easier. (^_^)
[21:30] —————-: i try to walk and it is very confusing
[21:30] —————-: i like your outfit by the way
[21:30] Immy: Thanks. I like working on my looks. =^-^=
[21:31] —————-: well, you are doing a great job
[21:31] —————-: and how did you get that tatoo?
[21:32] Immy: The dragon and back-tribal are from a store I often go to. Immerschoen Fashion. The one on my leg is my own work. (^_^)
[21:33] —————-: so, can you so me a tatoo
[21:33] —————-: actually, i just saw the one you have on your belly
[21:34] Immy: To be able to customize your avatar, you’re going to have to use one of the “Classic” avatars. You’re currently in a “Rigged Mesh” avatar. It’s a new thing and Linden Lab set them up very poorly. (._.)
[21:35] —————-: ok
[21:35] —————-: you have been very nice to me you know
[21:35] —————-: i really appreciate it,
[21:35] —————-: thanks
[21:35] Immy: You’ll find many items, shapes, skins, and such in your inventory. You can”Add” or “Wear” them depending on what you’re after. For more items, look into your inventory Library or our freebie walls. (^_^)
[21:36] Immy: Ah, I’m just a volunteer here. I like helping. (^_^)y
[21:36] —————-: wow
[21:36] Immy: Most of the people here will be just as nice. =^-^=
[21:36] —————-: your awesome
[21:36] —————-: i dont think so
[21:37] Immy: Heh, well, they should be. This place can get pretty tough on the rude ones. Though, some get away with it more than others. (>_<)
[21:39] Immy: To each their own, though. Everyone has their own personality. Some can sound bossy when trying to be helpful and some can sound helpful when trying to be bossy. XD
[21:39] —————-: jajajajajaja
[21:40] —————-: i got a tatoo
[21:40] —————-: but now how can change my chlothe
[21:41] Immy: That’s where things can get tricky. First, I’ll advise that you go to Me >> Choose An Avatar and pick something from the “Classic” tab. Not much can be done until then. (^_^)
[21:41] —————-: ok
[21:41] —————-: but i wanna just take off my shirt
[21:42] Immy: Ah. That may be easy. If you search your inventory for things that are “(Worn)” you may find an item with ‘shirt’ as the name. (^_^)
[21:43] Immy: RIght click the inventory item and select “Detach”. (^_^)
[21:43] Immy: Be careful, though. This is a G region and removing your pants may get you in a lot of trouble. (>_<)
[21:43] —————-: ohhhhh
[21:43] Immy: .. Even if by accident. (>.>)
[21:43] —————-: thanks for the advice
[21:44] —————-: ok, immy was my pleasure to meet you
[21:44] Immy: We do have changing rooms. There is a white round pad on the floor behind me. If you click that, it will transport you to the men’s one and you can juggle your outfit there. (^_^)^
[21:45] —————-: i dont understand this place, i am living it
[21:45] Immy: Not a problem at all. You’ve been nice. You deserve the help. =^-^=
[21:45] Immy: No worries. (^_^)y
[21:46] —————-: yes this SL it is not what i was expected
[21:46] —————-: there is nothing fun to do
[21:47] Immy: That depends. But, it’s all up to you. Everyone has something they prefer. (^_^)
[21:47] —————-: yes i guess
[21:47] —————-: ok immy take it easy
[21:47] Immy: Enjoy! (^_^)y
[21:48] —————-: can i ask you one question
[21:48] Immy: Feel free. (^_^)
[21:48] —————-: the last one
[21:49] —————-: where can i get a date?
[21:50] —————-: i am looking for someone to have some fun
[21:51] Immy: In SL? Socializing here is much like real life. It takes time, networking, and finding things in common. My advice; makes some keywords of your interests and put them into search (Ctrl+F)… You may find groups, places, and people who you match up with. (^_^)
[21:52] Immy: In my own case, for example, I like clothes and cartoons. Searching “clothes” gets me going on shopping trips and “anime” finds places where people like me enjoy our toons. (^_^)
[21:52] —————-: ok
[21:53] —————-: thank fos the advice
[21:53] —————-: see you later
[21:53] Immy: Spot on! Not a problem at all. (^_^)y

To start… ALWAYS start with multiple models.  At least 2.  For this demo, I’m using 3. (^_^)

The differences in detail should be apparent.  I’ll call them A, B, and C.  Note that A has 3x the Verts of B and C is little more than a cube.  All 3 models have 3 material surfaces and roughly the same UV maps. (^_^)

Now, to upload. =^-^=

This is the default upload for A.  The model makes up the High LoD and the uploader is set to Generate the rest of the models based on a Triangle Limit.  The uploader can be really rough when removing verts to bring the objects down to the marked triangle limits. (>_<)

View each LoD level, click on the High, Medium, Low, and Lowest names on the far left… Or use the box just below the mesh image.  As you can see, Lowest can make for a pretty ugly blob.  The going price for this blob is L$12 to upload and an LI of 10.059.  (O.o)

So, lets use the rest of our models… =^-^=

Now High, Medium, and Low each have a model for uploading.  These models will look exactly like the ones in the top image.  So Medium will preserve more of its shape, Low will just be a box, and Lowest will be Generated and be a decimated blob of the box from Low.  Here’s the good part.  Upload price is now L$11 and the LI has gone down to 7.812.  (^_^)

This is a relatively simple model, so the savings won’t be very huge… But, this should at least demonstrate that a savings is possible. (^_^)

Finally, when it comes to physics, complex models can really jack up the LI.  Items like clothing and other attachments could wind up having very complex physics shapes in spite of them being totally phantom while worn.  What I do for this is keep a cube.  Just a default Blender cube that I can use as the Physics LoD file. (^_^)

Now, since this model is very simple… There’s no actual change in physics detail with or without the cube.  Since physics is less than 1, it won’t affect our upload cost or LI.

Once the LED was inworld I found that the models were something like 8 meters tall which initially threw off the LI number while uploading.  Once it was scaled to 2 meters tall or less, LI fell below 1 and I was able to link 3 together for 2LI.

This is my take on things.  It probably isn’t accurate or complete, but, it’s what I’ve been doing and it works for me.  Please correct me in comments if need be. (^_^)y

Recently NCI’s creator and founder, Brace Coral, has returned to Second Life and has involved with staff.  In the most recent staff meeting, she posed a question: “Why are you here?” (^_^)

To that, I have an almost overly simple answer: The community. (^_^)

To get complicated, I’ll say more. =^-^=

My “Immy” account is actually my second spin through Second Life.  The first time around, I was Indoorsman Dagger and I discovered very quickly that AGP graphics cards were horribly unsuitable for rendering the primmy world. (>_<)

So, I joined SL again for the first time… Because I had initially forgotten Indy’s password. (O.o)

Much of my early time in SL was spent in the Hanja welcome area.  Back then, it was hazardous to cross simlines with attachments and many teleports would often fail.  So, I stayed there quite a while.  Though, in spite of its name, Hanja was hardly welcoming.  Add to that, my short draw distance and a seemingly endless barren field of grass beyond build and I pretty much had no hint of the scale of SL as a whole. (>_<)

In time, I found the map.  After a while, I sorted out what green dots were.  Eventually, I really started exploring.  Not even using search yet.  Just nap random places on the map and TP there.  For sure, people made most places worth visiting. (^_^)

Then, one day during a session of me zooming around the map, I had noticed a nearly full PG sim.  At that time, so many people in a PG joint was unheard of for me.  So, obviously this deserved some investigation. =^-^=

One thing to note; I haven’t mentioned chatting yet.  Honestly, for a good month or so, I didn’t chat with anyone in SL.  I was too shy, too afraid to connect with people, and concerned that my family would have problems with me making friends online. (>_<)

With that in mind… I actually had my first chat in SL at NCI.  It was very brief.  Light Sol had approached me, asking if I needed help.  My response was little more than something like “Not now.  Talking to family.” (._.)

But, there you have it… My first ever chat in SL was at NCI.  The crowd at NCI was nothing like Hanja.  Every other word wasn’t an obscenity.  Eventually I began to open up, socialize, and take up building.  It was all very new to me… Someone who had spent years with a nose jammed into Manga and a laptop Bittorrenting Anime shows 24/7. (^_^)

As time went by, I made friends (and even met someone that I still have a crush on to this day).  I have this near addiction to being inquisitive and helpful.  So, as I gathered more information about SL, I started sharing it with others.  NCI was very much a learn and teach and learn and teach environment.  The people there were always ready to answer reasonable questions and toss a freebie around once in a while that would benefit others. (^_^)

I wasn’t even aware of any kind of leadership structure at the time.  I just found myself spending time with helpful, supportive, and generous people every day. (^_^)

As time went by, I started getting more involved.  I was a frequent participant in Show&Tell, Blitz Build, and Beach Party events.  I was a killer in the Beach’s Toob race.  My lack of lag was to my advantage, for sure. =^-^=

I gradually got to know near everyone who hung out at the Kuula campus.  With that someone eventually offered me a teaching position.  It was alternating weeks.  One week I would teach Flexi&Light.  The next, One Prim Wonders.  It was definitely something to do.  In fact, I still do it.  See me in our Hamnida campus tonight at 6pm SLT.  I’ll be teaching Flexi&Light on the ground classroom. (^_^)

The whole time, the community was there. (^_^)

At some point, I was able to join Linden Lab’s SL Mentors program which provided a few more resources, but, nowhere near comparable to what the NCI community was offering.  I found that flying solo just wasn’t going to work out.  Being a part of something doesn’t really off much gain.  Having a tag is little more than a label.  But, having a community to lean on and support was right up my alley. (^_^)

… Then August 2009 happened. (T_T)

None the less, the community still provided tons of support.  Right at the point where I thought I was going to hit rock bottom, members of the community were letting me know they were behind me every step of the way.  People well aware of the organization’s mission stepped forward for the sake of the community and all the work they’ve done.  The community was able to survive the turmoil of the time and continue to support and maintain NCI for years to come. (^_^)

For that, I’m highly thankful and indebted to the people of NCI.  I like to think I’m part of this community, welcome and willing.  All I can do now is try my best to provide the same of what was given to me.  The people of New Citizens Inc. have been among the best I’ve met online.  I’m glad to be part of it.  I plan to remain with the community for as long as I can. (^_^)y