Danny Dechi Comedy

Teach how to eat.

dannydd2 — Sun, 28 Jun 2026 20:55:27 +0000

Darth Vader teaching his son how to eat:
“Luke, use the fork.”

dannydd2 — Tue, 09 Jun 2026 23:50:03 +0000

Public Announcement at movie theater:

“Our theater manager is sad because her cat died.

So we ask you for not just a moment of silence, but silence for 2 hours and 11 minutes. Thank you.”

dannydd2 — Sun, 31 May 2026 01:32:50 +0000

Every year that you behave like a jerk, you can pay into Anti-Social Security, in addition to regular Social Security.

That way, when you retire, you’ll receive additional pay.

You’re welcome.

dannydd2 — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 22:11:59 +0000

Dreams are made of marshmallows.

That’s why sometimes you wake up sticky.

Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.

dannydd2 — Mon, 20 Apr 2026 22:08:39 +0000

– “Dust mite.”
– “Dust might, what?”
– “Uh, never mind.”

dannydd2 — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 23:35:29 +0000

In my day, we didn’t have radios.
We listened to seashells.

dannydd2 — Fri, 06 Feb 2026 05:36:21 +0000

Swiss cheese is made from Holy Cow.
Another Fun Fact from Mr. Science.

dannydd2 — Wed, 07 Jan 2026 01:38:31 +0000

Thanks to smartphones! Telephone cord strangulation crimes have dropped by 93%.

dannydd2 — Fri, 02 Jan 2026 22:29:15 +0000

“How are the services going, Rabbi?”

“Shofar so good.”

dannydd2 — Thu, 01 Jan 2026 00:50:22 +0000

Comedian having sex:
“Oops!? Too soon?”