That immediately resonated with me because it is so true in my life—and for so many people I know.

Want to feel confident and powerful? Put on some Beyoncé.

Want to slow down and relax? Try the Eagles or The Lumineers.

Need motivation for a workout? Bad Bunny or AC/DC might do the trick.

Music can energize us, calm us, transport us back in time or help us express something we can’t quite put into words. Sometimes, the right song really can change the direction of your entire day.

This isn’t just a feeling or personal experience. The therapeutic use of music dates back to ancient civilizations, and music therapy became a recognized clinical profession in the mid-20th century. During World War II, musicians played for wounded service members experiencing physical and emotional trauma. Doctors and healthcare professionals began noticing the positive effects music had on their recovery, helping the field gain momentum during the 1940s and 1950s.

Today, music therapy is an established discipline connected to neuroscience, brain imaging and clinical care. Activities may include playing an instrument, singing, writing or composing songs, listening to music, or even moving and dancing to it.

Depending on the person and the setting, music therapy may help:

• Reduce stress and anxiety
• Ease pain and physical tension
• Support emotional expression
• Improve mood and overall well-being
• Strengthen memory and cognitive function, including for people living with dementia

Credentialed music therapists can be found through the Certification Board for Music Therapists directory or the American Music Therapy Association.

But you don’t have to be a musician—or participate in formal music therapy—to experience some of the everyday benefits of music.

Need to relax? Create a playlist filled with songs that help you slow down and breathe.

Need to shake off some stress? Build a playlist that makes your body want to move.

Have feelings you need to work through? Try writing a song, even if no one else ever hears it.

Or maybe it’s time to learn an instrument or pick up the one that has been collecting dust in the corner.

When I think about why music has such a powerful effect on us, I can’t help but think about the soundtrack of my own life.

For as long as I can remember, music has been a constant in my life. Growing up in the ’80s, the soundtrack of my childhood included hours of my parents’ country music on family road trips—with no headphones, iPads or other distractions to save me. At the time, it felt like suffering, but somewhere along the way, I came to love ’80s country.

Back home, MTV introduced me to a whole different world. I was mesmerized by the music videos and how a song could tell an entire story in just a few minutes. I still remember getting my first album—Michael Jackson’s Thriller—in 1982 and sitting by the radio to record my favorite songs onto mixtapes for myself and my friends. I would wait patiently, hoping and praying the DJ wouldn’t start talking before the song ended. If you grew up during that time, you know the struggle!

Those memories remind me that the therapeutic power of music isn’t limited to a clinical setting. Music captures moments, connects us to people and places, and helps tell the story of our lives. Even today, a familiar song can make us nostalgic and shift our mood, thoughts or feelings in an instant.

Music doesn’t have to solve everything to make a difference. Sometimes, all it takes is one familiar beat, one meaningful lyric or one favorite song to help us feel a little more like ourselves again.

So, what song can change your mood in 30 seconds?

The post The Therapeutic Benefits of Music appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

We often want to rush through the uncomfortable parts of life. We want answers when we feel uncertain, confidence when we feel afraid, and healing to happen faster than it sometimes does. We want to get to the other side.

But what if the in-between is actually where the most important work happens?

There is a story by Paulo Coelho called The Lesson of the Butterfly that has always stayed with me.

A man watched a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. The butterfly worked and worked, trying to squeeze through a small opening, but eventually it seemed too exhausted to continue. Wanting to help, the man cut open the cocoon and freed the butterfly.

But the butterfly never learned to fly.

Its wings remained weak and crumpled because it missed the very struggle that would have made it strong.

What the man didn’t realize was that the struggle wasn’t hurting the butterfly—it was preparing it. The process of breaking free was what strengthened its wings.

I think life works the same way.

The moments when we feel stuck, uncertain, or uncomfortable are often the moments when we are growing the most.

Life is full of these transitions. Learning to crawl, walk, and run. Going to school. Spending our first night away from home. Graduating. Leaving home. Building relationships. Becoming parents. Watching our children grow and begin lives of their own. Experiencing loss. Starting over. Finding ourselves again.

These moments don’t happen just once. Change is part of being human. Throughout our lives, we move through seasons where we are asked to let go of what is familiar and learn how to step into something new.

And the hardest part is often the space in between.

It’s the place where the old version of ourselves no longer fits, but the new version hasn’t fully emerged yet. It’s where we may feel anxious, overwhelmed, uncertain, or even lost.

But that space is not a sign that we are failing.

It’s often where healing and transformation begin.

In counseling, we spend a lot of time exploring these in-between moments—the places where life feels messy, where we are trying to make sense of our experiences, and where we are learning more about ourselves. Growth doesn’t mean we never struggle. It means we learn how to move through those struggles with support, compassion, and courage.

Sometimes we wish someone could simply open the cocoon for us. We wish the difficult parts could be taken away. And while having support along the way is incredibly important, there are some parts of growth that only happen because we walk through them.

The in-between is where we build resilience.

It’s where we discover our strength.

It’s where we become who we are meant to be.

So if you find yourself in an uncertain season, remember this:

You are not stuck.

You are not falling behind.

You may simply be in the process of becoming.

And sometimes, the very journey that feels the hardest is the one helping you discover your wings.

The post Lessons From a Butterfly appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

Recently, during a visit to a friend’s house, I experienced something that confirmed this perspective. As soon as we arrived, my friend excitedly brought my partner downstairs to show him his special room filled with Star Wars memorabilia, knowing he is a huge fan. As my daughter and I watched—and giggled at the two grown, “mature” men lighting up with excitement over the collection—I had an “aha” moment.

Maybe holding onto those childlike parts of ourselves isn’t something to outgrow or be embarrassed by. Yes, we need to mature—pay our bills, make responsible decisions, and navigate adult life. But there is also real value in keeping curiosity, playfulness, creativity, and humor alive within us. In fact, research on adult playfulness suggests that people who maintain these qualities throughout adulthood tend to experience greater happiness, stronger relationships, lower stress, and overall higher well-being (Barnett, 2011; Proyer, 2017).

I have often wondered: where does the child we started as go if it isn’t nurtured and given space to come out? Does that part of us get buried beneath all the adult responsibilities we take on? Do we become embarrassed by it? Ashamed of it?

But maybe growing up doesn’t mean leaving our inner child behind. Maybe it means learning how to responsibly care for our adult lives while still making space for that childlike spirit to come out and play.

So, in the spirit of Star Wars—May the Child be with you.

The post May the Child Be With You: Rediscovering Playfulness in Adulthood appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

That same mind that solves problems can wake me at 3 a.m., spinning through thoughts that won’t settle—trying to fix, understand, or control what isn’t ready to be solved. Sometimes those thoughts can signal something deeper, like anxiety or OCD. Other times, they’re simply a reflection of stress—my brain doing what it believes is helpful.

But here’s the truth: not every thought deserves our attention.

There is power in recognizing when our mind is overworking. In naming it. In gently saying, “I see what you’re doing—and I don’t need this right now.” That’s where practices like thought stopping come in—not as force, but as awareness. We notice, we label, and then we choose to ground ourselves in the present or to shift our focus entirely.

Because the real challenge isn’t the thinking—it’s realizing when our thinking is no longer serving us.

The very strengths we rely on can sometimes keep us stuck, circling the same ideas, unable to step back. And that’s when we need a different kind of discipline—the courage to pause. To step away. To give ourselves space.

Make a quiet agreement with yourself: it’s okay to temporarily walk away.

Change your environment. Move your body. Stop replaying the story out loud. Let it breathe without you holding onto it so tightly. Trust that clarity doesn’t always come from pushing harder—it often comes from releasing.

And when you return, you will see differently.

The post Clarity Lives in the Pause appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

For years, I carried a vivid dream of a mountain home during Christmas, surrounded by my children and grandchildren. It was the scene I described whenever someone asked about my future—full of warmth, laughter, and joyful chaos. That dream became a symbol of “someday,” always far off in the distance.

Then, one evening I realized this dream was closer than I knew. 

A couple years ago we gathered to celebrate my daughter’s 22nd birthday, abandoning restaurant plans for a homemade lasagna dinner. Everyone showed up—kids, partners, grandkids—and the house came alive. As we were passing around the baby book, my daughter read aloud a note my late grandmother had written in 2003 that said “God didn’t make me rich with money but he really gave me a lottery with five beautiful children and 8 beautiful grandchildren.” As I looked around at the mess, the noise, and the love in that room, it struck me: I was already living my dream.

Maybe we don’t always recognize the arrival of our aspirations because they don’t come wrapped in the exact details we imagined. But that night, I realized something important—our dreams aren’t always distant. Sometimes, they’re already here, closer than they appear.

The post Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

This idea came back to me during a hike last summer. I came across a field of dandelions—yes, the same “weeds” we try so hard to remove from our carefully maintained lawns. Yet there they were, stretching across the landscape, vibrant and beautiful. In that moment, I thought about that familiar message: how the right environment can transform how something—or someone—is seen.

At first, it seemed to reinforce the idea that environment makes all the difference. But as I sat with it longer, a different truth emerged. The environment doesn’t determine our value—we do. Our worth, our purpose, our inherent value exist regardless of where we are. Just like water always provides its value—hydration, life, balance—no matter where it’s sold, our value remains constant. It’s the environment that can distort how that value is perceived.

History reminds us of this. Many of the world’s most impactful leaders held onto their sense of worth even in the harshest conditions. They didn’t let their environment define them—they defined themselves within it.

So to that beautiful dandelion: you are not made more valuable by the field, nor less valuable by the lawn. You are simply, and always, what you are—whole and worthy. And in that, you remind me that the same is true for all of us.

The post The Value Within: A Lesson from Water and Dandelions appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

One of my favorite researchers and storytellers—aka “Magic Pixie” (see TED Talk below)—Brené Brown has spent many years studying this need for human connection. Through her research, she found that vulnerability, or the willingness to be vulnerable, is a critical determinant in our ability to form solid, meaningful, human connections with others. The irony here is that before we, as humans, can truly experience a positive human connection, we have to allow ourselves to be seen—really seen for who we are, warts and all. Well, that is scary! What if he/she doesn’t like me? What if he/she sees that I am… messy/always late/scared/insecure? So, I ask you, so what if he/she does see these things and you find out he/she feels exactly the same?

The post Adult Connections: Healthy Relationships appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

The post Relationship Issues: Toxic Friendships appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

Did I also mention that I am a mother? Yep,… two beautiful children and one soon-to-be bright and strong stepdaughter. I love having children, but don’t get me wrong; it is hard work—very hard work. As parents, we walk a very fine line. We are challenged to find teaching moments in good and bad times. We try to protect our kids from the dangers and pitfalls of life while also arming them with the skills and lessons needed to thrive and grow. Parents have to determine when it is time to hold on and when it is time to let them fly.

I recently came across the quote below. After reading it, my initial response was from the lens of a therapist, “Yep, absolutely, makes perfect sense.” Then I read the quote from the lens of a parent, and I thought of my son struggling with a difficult friend or my stepdaughter struggling with a class in school, and I recalled how hard it is to watch those we love struggle and how easy it would be for me to “rescue” them and make it all go away—or at least that specific situation go away. But then I wondered, “What happens when the next challenge comes, or the next one?”

Because there will be many challenges our kiddos face, and unless we have taught them the skills and built the confidence to overcome those struggles, they will learn to look to others—their parents, their spouse, their [fill in the blank]—to solve their problems rather than address them themselves.
As I say this, I send out a reminder of that fine line. Of course, we are not going to force our child to face something like abuse, neglect, bullying, etc. alone; those aren’t the challenges I am speaking to here. The challenges I speak to are the life lessons our kiddos need to know about money, difficult people, staying the course, and/or keeping commitments. Trust me, I get it, it’s hard, and I struggle too but the return on investment is more than worth it.

The post Family Corner: Parenting With Intent appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.

Then the instructor asked me to pull out my personal calendar and look through my schedule for the last 3 months. Wow, guess what? My calendar didn’t always reflect those things that I valued the most, one of those being my health. All too often I put off coffee with a girlfriend, a movie with the kids, or a hike in my favorite park. I was so busy doing things, I didn’t take time out to relax or enjoy the joys of life.

Did you know when a group of 100 people was polled regarding their relaxation habits, 40% reported they had never purposely set aside time for relaxation? Additionally, of those same people, 45% reported they have a difficult time relaxing at all.

Our lives are so busy, and we are all running in so many different directions, but our health isn’t something to take for granted. When our minds are stressed, our breathing changes and oxygen flow is restricted to our body and organs. When we relax (mentally and physically), we calm our minds, allow more oxygen to flow, and we live richer healthier lives.

So relax, breathe deeply, and schedule some time to enjoy the moment.

The post Daily Couch Wisdom: Relax appeared first on Chapin Counseling Services.