tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214Mon, 07 Sep 2026 05:24:56 +0000the bill campbell: misanthrope showbarack obamakoontown killing kaperpoohbuttracismbill clintonimmigrationimpeachmentjuan williamsparentingpodcastskin bleachingteapublicansPsychology TodaySatoshi Kanazawaabortionafghanistanafrofuturismafropunkamber coleamerican historyamy chuaangela merkelapartheidbacon's rebellionbattle hymn of the tiger motherben roethlisbergerbill campbellblood: the last vampirebob ehrlichbob mcdonnellcee-lo greenchoppy chop-e soundcongocoon showscorporal punishmentdavid frumdavid wondrichdemocracydonald trumpdr. lauraed hallexperimentalfantasyfatherhoodfdrfictionfounding fathersfuck youfundamentalismgary buseygeargeorge bushgianna junhaikuhannah arendthealth care reformhigh fructose corn syruphip-hophoodlumshorrorhurricane katrinainsanityjimi izraeljimmy carterjohn jenningskanye westken cuccinellikendrick meekkiddieboplazy man's reviewlbjlynchingmarilyn davenportmarketingmartin o'malleymedal of honormediamichael steelemiddle agemilitia act of 1792minstrelsmodel minoritymothershipnprolivia newton johnosama bin ladenpacifismpatriotismpop culturepost-punkracial profilingreligionrobert frostrock skate roll bounceroller discoroyal weddingsam neillscience fictionscientific racismsebastian jungerslaveryslipstreamsophie okonedosteamfunksteelersstomp and swerveterry jonesthe o'reilly factortomorrow/yesterdaytriple threatvaughan masonwarwelcome to koontownwilliam l. van deburgxanaduThe Billanthropenoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)Blogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-1196616613538935580Fri, 25 Jan 2013 02:27:00 +00002013-01-24T18:27:12.308-08:00afrofuturismafropunkbill campbelled hallexperimentalfantasyfictionhorrorjohn jenningsmothershipscience fictionslipstreamsteamfunk[Call for Submissions] Mothership: Tales from Afrofuturism and Beyond<a href="; imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="; width="204" /></a>That's right, yall. I've got a new project coming, and we're looking for submissions!<br />
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Here are some of the details:<br />
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<i>"Co-editors Bill Campbell and Edward Austin Hall seek donated submissions for the first in a series of anthologies comprising original and reprinted genre material for, by, and/or about persons of color.</i><br />
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<i>"The genres in question include (but are not limited to) science fiction, fantasy, horror, slipstream, weird fiction, and speculative fiction."</i><br />
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For full details, please visit the <a href=" don't forget to sign our <a href=" list</a>.<br />
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Peace, Love & Sooooooooulllllll<br />
Party People<br />
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See ya on the Mothership<br />
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<br />2013/01/call-for-submissions-mothership-tales.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-7317679428626017134Mon, 26 Nov 2012 00:14:00 +00002012-11-25T16:14:49.064-08:00Koontown Kristmas Special<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>Happy Hollydaze, Yall!!!</b></center>
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In the fine tradition of <a href=" Peter</a>, we here in <i>Koontown</i> are here to help Santa make your holiday all the more special!!!<br />
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From now until December 15, you can get your very own signed copy of <i>Koontown Killing Kaper</i> shipped to your door for Christmas. It's $23 through PayPal ($20 for the book and $3 for shipping and handling). Just give us your mailing address and who you want the book signed for, and we will ship it the very next day. (After December 15, of course, we have no clue if it will get there by Christmas.)<br />
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Also, don't forget the other fine <i>Koontown</i> products (T-shirts, thongs, and golf umbrellas) available on the <a href=" />
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And what are the holidays without the <i>Koontown</i> <a href=" soundtrack</a> by Triple Threat?<br />
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Pretty damned sad, I say. Pretty damned sad.
2012/11/koontown-kristmas-special.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-967854100417634503Tue, 31 Jul 2012 23:45:00 +00002012-07-31T16:45:13.137-07:00koontown killing kaperKoontown in August: Run! Brutha! Run!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, things in <i>Koontown </i>just get busier and busier. And August will be the busiest month, yet.<br />
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If you happen to be around for any of these, please feel free to drop by and say, "Hi." Tell your friends. Whatever it takes. I'm exhausted just typing these different events out. Just imagine what I'm going to be feeling like by September--when, of course, it all starts over again.<br />
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For more information, please check out the <a href=" />
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<b>Saturday, August 4</b><br />
Fenton Street Market<br />
Silver Spring, MD<br />
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<b>Sunday, August 5</b><br />
First Sunday<br />
Whitmore Park<br />
Annapolis, MD<br />
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<b>Friday, August 10</b><br />
<b>7:30pm</b><br />
New Embassy Theater<br />
Cumberland, MD<br />
(Book Reading & Concert)<br />
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<b>Saturday, August 11</b><br />
Reston Market at Lake Anne Plaza<br />
Reston, VA<br />
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<b>Sunday, August 12</b><br />
The Flea Market @ Eastern Market<br />
Washington, DC<br />
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<b>Saturday, August 18</b><br />
Onyxcon 4<br />
Atlanta, GA<br />
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<b>Sunday, August 19</b><br />
Criminal Records<br />
Atlanta, GA<br />
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<b>Monday, August 20</b><br />
<b>7pm</b><br />
Shepherd Park Library<br />
Washington, DC<br />
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<b>Wednesday, August 22</b><br />
<b>7:30pm</b><br />
Red Emma's<br />
Baltimore, MD<br />
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<b>Friday, August 24</b><br />
<b>7pm</b><br />
Moonstone Arts Center<br />
Hosted by the Philly Fantastics<br />
Philadelphia, PA<br />
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<b>Saturday & Sunday, August 25 & 26</b><br />
AfroPunk Fest<br />
Brooklyn, NY<br />
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And, of course, if you want to make my job easier, you can always buy your own copy of <i>Koontown</i> from <a href=" any given time. Believe me, I am already <i>highly </i>grateful.2012/07/koontown-in-august-run-brutha-run.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-2285946768919355071Sat, 18 Feb 2012 15:48:00 +00002012-02-18T07:48:10.120-08:00gearkoontown killing kaperPicture of the Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="; imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="; width="240" /></a></div>Look at this proud brother rocking his Koontown gear. It's like the Black Power Afro pick and dashiki of the 2Gs. Get yours today!!!<br />
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<a href=";2012/02/picture-of-day.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-7449371510626326424Thu, 26 Jan 2012 18:47:00 +00002012-01-26T10:47:15.501-08:00koontown killing kaperThe Koontown Killing Kaper Official Book TrailerI can't believe I haven't posted this here, yet. God, I'm slipping. Anyway, here. Have a laugh.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='; frameborder='0'></iframe></div>2012/01/koontown-killing-kaper-official-book.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-5590141189667261180Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:39:00 +00002012-01-11T11:39:15.686-08:00koontown killing kaperracismWhy I Wrote Koontown<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Black people are inherently inferior. This is not something you would often hear anybody say outright—if at all. That would be racist, and we live in a time when even devout racists get offended if you actually call them “racist.” The closest we tend to get to such utterances is the coded intimations of the Newt Gingriches and Rick Santorums of the world talking about how blacks prefer welfare to actual work. (If that were so, Uncle Sam owes me over 25 years of backpay.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Yet, the message of black inferiority is still something being transmitted today. Like air, water, and high-fructose corn syrup, it simply permeates the culture. We take no more notice of it than we do inhaling the carbon-monoxide air of our car-driven country.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Television news constantly feeds us reports of black criminality, black underachievement, black addiction. Our entertainment industry gives us a steady diet of black depravity, shoveling pimps and hustlers and playas and thugs down our throats. We can watch them on our televisions, in our movies; listen to them on our radios, iPods, and smart phones; we can read about them on our Kindles and Nooks and even—heaven forbid—actual books and thrill to their tales of violence, greed, and penicillin-resistant promiscuity.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Even science gets into the act. Phrenology may be dead, but so-called studies and statistics thrive. They tell us black kids can’t keep up academically. Drugs consume the ghetto. Jails are overflowing with black misery. Over 60 percent of black men without a high school diploma will wind up in prison. Some even say there are more black men in prison today than were enslaved in 1850. On top of all that, black men are even the least hirable demographic in these here post-racial United States.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Hell, with all these problems, no wonder we are constantly assaulted by those images I mentioned earlier. That we are just as likely to see black thuggery on our TV screens as we were the token black friend in a ‘90s sitcom (whatever happened to those?). That hip-pop (what I like to call ironically “commercial” rap) still pounds us with talk of pimping, hustling, dealing, murdering, and misogynating. That 80 percent of the books published for, by, and/or about blacks is urban or “ghetto” literature. After all, all these portrayals reflect the culture, mirror the reality of life in African-America.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Except, of course, they don’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As has been noted, 80 percent of African-American books published today are what some call ghetto lit. One would think that a corresponding percentage of black folk actually live in the ghetto. Well ... according to the 2010 Census, only 30 percent of African-Americans today live in majority-minority neighborhoods.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Educationally, the good folks at <i>Freakanomics</i> (and other studies back them up on this) have found that achievement is not race-based—but class-based. Middle- and upper-class blacks score just as well as any other child of their socioeconomic background no matter their race. Conversely, poor kids of all races score equally poorly. Studies have also found that the rates of triflinity (<i>n. </i>the act of being or the moral structure that leads one to actually be triflin’) are the same across the races.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">On the crime front, data have shown that rates of criminality between whites and blacks are also the same. Black men make up about 40.2 percent of the prison population with roughly 846,000 of us in the system, and, in 2003, the Bureau of Justice Statistics predicted that 32 percent of black men born in 2001 <i>will </i>be spending time in prison (I guess the Justice Department had just unrolled their 30-year business plan, or something). Still, out of a population of some 18 <i>million </i>black males, 846,000 is hardly representative. And, with all due respect to Ice Cube, there may be more <i>niggers</i> in the pen than in college (I can’t particularly speak on that one), but there are actually more <i>black men</i> in college (919,000) than in prison. And all due respect to Dr. Michelle Alexander, who claimed that there are more black men in prison today than were enslaved in 1850; there were only about 1.8 million black men in America in 1850. To compare the black population of that time with today’s, which is 10 times larger, is a bit disingenuous. Less than five percent of black men are imprisoned today. In 1850, less than five percent of black men were <i>free</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, I’m not saying that everything in our black communities is honky-dory and that we’re living in the Days of Ripple and Roses. What I am saying is that we African-Americans continue to be treated by the dominant culture (as well as our own) as a monolithic whole and that treatment is overwhelmingly negative.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How can 80 percent of our books be ghetto lit when only 30 percent of us live in majority-minority neighborhoods—ghetto or otherwise? How can so much of our music celebrate thugging, pimping, robbing, and stealing, when such a small percentage of us live such a life?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, I’m a satirist. I write novels. I understand the role of fantasy in entertainment. I personally do not get into “conscious” vs. “unconscious” (or whatever the term), “positive” vs. “negative” debates. Life’s more complicated than that. Besides, a good story needs both heroes <i>and </i>villains. A <i>really </i>good story muddies up the distinction. But, as a writer, I also respect the image. I believe that images have power, can move people, and, if repeated enough, affect the way people think.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Does the persistent image of black inferiority have power? Judge for yourself. It has power enough to allow Gingrich and Santorum to say what they did and be taken seriously. In some quarters, people believed Limbaugh when he suggested Obama got into Harvard due to affirmative action.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As stated before, black men are the least hirable demographic. When an employer sees a “black” name on a resumé or application, do thoughts of criminal behavior, drug abuse, and/or intellectual inferiority dance like watermelons through their heads? Do they subconsciously check their wallets or purses when that black applicant walks through the door? Wonder if they speak Jive? When they look at that applicant’s credentials, do they think, “Affirmative action”?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Recently, the National Education Policy Center found that, though black and white school kids are equally trifling, 28 percent of African-American middle school boys are suspended or expelled as opposed to only 10 percent of their white counterparts. This is apparently due to the discretionary behavior of the disciplining adults and not the individual child’s actual offense. Could that disciplinarian be looking at that little black boy and be thinking of his future thuggery? That that boy isn’t going to amount to anything, anyway, and they might as well nip whatever it is in the bud?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">From what I understand, the “justice” system treats black teens much the same way. After all, blacks and whites commit the same rates of crimes. Yet, black men are six and a half times more likely to see jail time than any white man ever would. What could be going through the arresting officers’ minds? The judges’? The jailers’? Could it be the same thing that passed Dr. Walter Quijano’s lips when he testified in the Duane Buck trial that black men possess a little known gene called “future dangerousness”? (It’s apparently found in the melanin.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is the disproportionately punative treatment black men receive in this country due to the fact that T.I. and Lil Wayne rap? Of course not. Should it? Well ... there is a price to pay for those two’s existences. But that is artistic.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Seriously though, ever since the first master complained about the first nigra slave stealing his chickens, African-Americans have been dealing with negative portrayals of themselves. And those negative images have often been racist in nature and used to reinforce and justify African-Americans’ oppression and dehumanization. Do these images serve the same function today? I would be the <i>last </i>one to say that. As I said, today, even the Grand Wizard of Aryan Nation United States (A.N.U.S.) would be screaming, “Who you callin’ ‘racist,’ nigger?!” So, I’ll leave that up to you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Meanwhile, as a satirist, it is up to me to examine those images, poke and prod them, take my incisive “wit” and twisted “humor” and slap them up, flip them, and rub them down, to slice them open and start pulling until the chitlins come pouring out into the light of day. That is why I wrote <i>Koontown Killing Kaper</i> with all its offensive language, grotesque imagery, and absurd humor. ‘Cause, if you ask me (and Lord knows, you didn’t) today’s pimp, gangsta, playa who’s movin’ weight, bodyin’ niggas, and runnin’ this here pimp game is about as representative of today’s African-Americans as the happy coon on the plantation just a-pickin’ and a-grinnin’ on his banjo and doin’ the cake walk and singin’ his Africanized Irish ballads fo’ massa was representative of the dusky Ethiopians of the 1850s. And, if I can make fun of those <i>Amos ‘N’ Andy </i>portrayals of yesteryear, I most definitely need to make fun of their modern equivalent. ‘Cause boy, to tell de troof, there do be times when I’se utterly and completely <i>regusted</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>2012/01/why-i-wrote-koontown.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-5939772168399734253Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:34:00 +00002012-01-05T06:34:11.327-08:00choppy chop-e soundkoontown killing kapertomorrow/yesterdayKoontown Killing Kaper on Kindle!!!That's right. My new novel, <i>Koontown Killing Kaper</i>, is available at the Kindle Store!<br />
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To celebrate, I wanted to share with you the second release from the <i>Koontown Killing Kaper </i>Original Soundtrack, Choppy Chop-E Sound's "Tomorrow/Yesterday."<br />
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Enjoy! Buy the book! Listen for the Soundtrack!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="; data-thumbnail-src=" name="movie" value="; /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="; type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div><br />
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<i>Koontown </i>at Kindle:<br />
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Oh yeah. Don't forget to buy a <i>Koontown Killing Kaper </i>T-shirt!!!<br />
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About <i>Koontown Killing Kaper:</i><br />
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All the rappers in Koontown are being killed, and rumor has it that it's vampire crack babies doing the killing. Desperate, the police reach out to Genevieve "Jon Vee" Noire, ex-super model/ex-homicide detective/private detective. Together with her former partner, Genevieve must navigate the dangerous world of gangsta rappers, shady record executives, corrupt cops and politicians, '80s pimps, welfare queens, secret sistah societies, Ubernoggin, and the National guard. Can the ex-super model survive the chaos and insanity to save her beloved Koontown while it explodes all around her?<br />
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</span>2012/01/koontown-killing-kaper-on-kindle.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-7830249936524385149Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:02:00 +00002011-12-15T09:02:17.681-08:00koontown killing kapertriple threatwelcome to koontownWelcome to Koontown<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a href="; imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="; width="200" /></a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Well, as many of you know, I have a new book coming out on January 17, <i>Koontown Killing Kaper</i>. Here's the official theme song (there will be an original soundtrack produced by Triple Threat coming your way). Hope you enjoy:</span></div><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">What happens when you smash “The Boondocks” head-long into “Family Guy”? You end up with one of the most outrageous, most offensive, most hilarious books you may ever read.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Koontown Killing Kaper</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">In Koontown, all the rappers are being killed, and rumor has it that it's vampire crack babies doing the killing. Desperate, the police reach out to Genevieve "Jon Vee" Noire, ex-super model/ex-homicide cop/private detective. Together with her former partner, Genevieve must navigate the dangerous world of gangsta rappers, shady record executives, corrupt cops and politicians, '80s pimps, welfare queens, secret sistah societies, Ubernoggin, and the National Guard. Can our heroine survive the chaos and insanity to save her beloved Koontown while it explodes all around her? </span></div>2011/12/welcome-to-koontown.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-8943571208625292466Thu, 27 Oct 2011 20:58:00 +00002011-10-27T14:06:58.910-07:00amber colejimi izraelFor the Record ... I'd Whip Dat Ass<a href="; imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="; /></a>Funny, I often feel like I'm chained to the internet. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Goodreads, Podomatic, etc., etc., etc. I think there's even a Myspace page out there somewhere with my name on it. Yet, I know I'm not nearly as connected as a lot of you out there. And, to be completely honest, I ignore most of the stuff I'm apparently connected to. There are too many internet controversies, curiosities, and sensations that I've never even heard of or paid attention to.<br />
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It took me an e-ternity (sorry, couldn't help it) before I heard of this whole Amber Cole debacle. And, once I found out, I promptly tried to ignore it. After all, as the father of a four-year-old black girl, why <i>the hell </i>would I want to hear about a 14-year-old black girl going down on some boy, allowing herself to be videotaped, and then having that video going viral. Why would I want to put myself in that girl's father's place? And I thought Laurence Fishburn had it bad.<br />
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Yet today, something on my Twitter timeline did catch my attention. Apparently, some brother, Jimi Izrael (apparently he's got a little fame to him) actually <i>did </i>imagine that he was Amber Cole's father and posted his imaginings on <a href=";. As I said, I ain't goin' there. That place is too dark, too depressing to even contemplate. However, something that Jimi wrote did catch my eye:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq"><i>I am angry with those boys. But I knew those boys. Those boys were my friends. I grew up with those boys, hung out with those boys.</i></blockquote><br />
While I refuse to imagine my being Amber Cole's daddy, but I can <i>definitely </i>imagine being those boys' father. And I gotta tell you, there is absolutely no way <i>in hell</i> I'd let them off as easily as Mr. Izrael does. Not even close.<br />
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Now, I wish I were a better person. I wish I could sit my boy down, have that respectable Bill Cosby moment full of dignity, calm righteous indignation, and sagacious life lessons that would put the boy on the right path. And end it with a quiet chuckle and the reassuring epiphany that lets me know that my boy has learned his lesson. I wish I could sit calmly in my funky sweater and give the child a steady diet of Feminist Father red meat (how would he like it if somebody had done that to his sister or his mother or to <i>him</i>) to let him know that he should <i>never </i>encourage, entertain the prospect, or be involved in the degradation of a female--or anyone, for that matter.<br />
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But in all honesty, it wouldn't go like that. I wouldn't be calm, there'd be nothing quiet about my righteous indignation, and we wouldn't be performing a skit to a Ray Charles song. In fact, you could be damned sure that that Feminist Father red meat would actually turn into a "white meat" moment--'cause that's exactly what I'd be whipping my boy's ass down to. Hell, it'd be worse than that. I'd be whipping that boy until his <i>corpuscles </i>turned purple. In fact, you'd end up seeing my face in the <i>Guinness Book of World Records </i>under Ass-Whippin'.<br />
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I think the scene would go something like this:<br />
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"Mutha...!" <i>Whap! </i>"What the...!" <i>Whap! </i>"...that girl and...!" <i>Whap! Whap! </i>"...and then you...!" <i>Whap! </i>"Bill, no!!!" <i>Whap! Whap! Whap! </i>"What were you...!" <i>Whap!!!</i><br />
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I'd be whipping that boy for videoing that girl. Whipping him for having another boy there to video her. Whipping him for even <i>thinking </i>it was appropriate. Whipping him for posting the damned thing. For even <i>thinking </i>of posting it. For <i>Plessy v. Ferguson </i>and the <i>Dred Scott </i>decision. For Roethlisberger's two interceptions in that last Super Bowl.<br />
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"Yes! 911!" <i>Whap! Whap! </i>"...if you ever ... !!!" <i>Whap! </i>"My babyyyyyy!!!!" <i>Whap! Whap! </i>"Mr. Campbell, please come with us." <i>Whap! </i>"The boy's coming with me." <i>Whap! </i>"By all means, please do, sir." <i>Whap! Whap! Whap! </i>and <i>Whap!</i><br />
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Oh yeah. I'd be working my whipping arm until the judge handed down my sentence. Then I'd pause, plea for the boy to be tried as an adult, get us placed in the same cell, and then whip him for 5-20 years--dependent upon good behavior, of course.<br />
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All (semi) joking aside. I am actually quite ambivalent about corporal punishment. I am neither for it nor against it. I like many of my brethren had received ass whuppins growing up. But, in my case, they were <i>extremely </i>rare and usually for spectacular screw-ups (like, when I was 12 and went to an arcade without permission and fell asleep only to awaken to find out that the entire town and three police jurisdictions were combing the <i>entire </i>area for my snoring butt--boy I got <i>lit up</i> that night). So, I don't have any traumatic associations with corporal punishment, don't harbor any resentment for the times I've suffered under its belt, and don't feel that I'd been abused. And while I've never hit my child nor can imagine ever doing so, I will never rule out the possibility.<br />
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And, in all honesty, if either one of those boys <i>were </i>my child, you <i>would </i>have to call protective services on me.<br />
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Amber Cole, like so many other females in her position, has become a bit of a celebrity. We have scrutinized and judged her actions <i>ad infinitum</i>. We are judging all girls and women by this poor child's actions. Yet, where are the boys? Why aren't they just as infamous as this girl? Why don't we even know their names?<br />
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Incidents like this will continue to happen until we teach <i>all </i>our children dignity. Until boys suffer the same, harsh scrutiny over their sexual conduct as girls do. That respect, dignity, and degradation are a two-way street. If one is supposed to be graced by respect, one must treat <i>everybody </i>in <i>every </i>situation with respect.<br />
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But until that happens, until true equality is attained by all, <i>this </i>father would whip <i>both </i>those boys' asses.2011/10/for-record-id-whip-dat-ass.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Bill Campbell)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3373459717177411214.post-1764692887356068050Mon, 03 Oct 2011 18:56:00 +00002011-10-03T11:58:08.669-07:00insanityThe Harrowing Tale of America's First "Crazy Negro"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="; imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="; width="252" /></a></div><i>Lifted from Ira Berlin's </i>Slaves without Masters<i>. Draw your own conclusions (but I prefer to promote "insanity")...</i><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">In 1811, Christopher McPherson, a free Negro of considerable talent and modest wealth who also styled himself “Pherson, the first son of Christ,” hired Herbert H. Hughes, a white schoolmaster, and opened a night school for free Negroes and slaves who had the consent of their master. Classes began at dusk and ran until nine-thirty, and Hughes taught “the English language grammatically, Writing, Arithmetic, Geography, Astronomy, &c. &c.” for a fee of about $1.25 per month. The results were most promising. The school opened with twenty-five pupils, and McPherson noted that “from frequent application since, ‘tis expected the number will shortly be doubled.” McPherson was so pleased with his initial success that he publicly boasted of the school in the Richmond <i>Argus</i>, and recommended “to the people of colour throughout the United States (who do not have it in their power to attend day schools) to establish similar institutions in their neighborhoods.” Excited over the new possibilities, he hoped “that everyone who loves his Country, and has it in his power will generously further and foster every institution of the kind that may be established throughout this happy Union.”</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></span><br />
<a name='more'></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Richmond whites were less enthusiastic. Within days after McPherson’s notice appeared, several leading citizens confronted Samuel Pleasants, the editor of the <i>Argus</i>, and demanded that the advertisement be withdrawn. “They deem it,” Pleasants reported, “impolitic and highly improper that such an institution should exist in this City.” Pleasants disagreed, but dutifully yielded to public pressure. Herbert Hughes, the white schoolteacher, was made of sterner stuff. He took space in the Argus, defended the school, and attacked the idea that it was impolitic to educate Negroes as Rousseauistic sophistry. Reiterating his support of the school, Hughes declared “without Education in some degree they are in a state of bastard civilization,” and he pledged to teach until authorities closed the school.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">That apparently was not long in coming, for soon after Hughes made his appeal, Richmond officials summoned McPherson to court to show why his school should not be declared a nuisance. The case was delayed, but the police continued to harass McPherson and probably drove Hughes out of town. Despite the greater threat implicit in the police action, in April, when the court again delayed his case, McPherson advertised his desire to establish “a seminary of learning of the arts and sciences” as soon as he could find a “proper tutor.” But before he could act, the police again jailed McPherson and shipped him to the Williamsburg Lunatic Asylum. McPherson doubtless had “mad” religious delusions, but these had not prevented him from functioning for years in a manner acceptable to Richmond whites: only when he established his school was he thrown into the madhouse. His lesson was obvious: any black man who would attempt to found a s