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قدم سوم – دوازده قدم درکهای شخصی آرام از دوازده قدم روحانی Fri, 24 Dec 2021 09:08:31 +0000 fa-IR hourly 1 پایان قدم سه ، آغاز باقی مسیر زیبای خودشناسی /%d9%be%d8%a7%db%8c%d8%a7%d9%86-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%8c-%d8%a2%d8%ba%d8%a7%d8%b2-%d8%a8%d8%a7%d9%82%db%8c-%d9%85%d8%b3%db%8c%d8%b1-%d8%b2%db%8c%d8%a8%d8%a7%db%8c-%d8%ae%d9%88%d8%af%d8%b4/ /%d9%be%d8%a7%db%8c%d8%a7%d9%86-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%8c-%d8%a2%d8%ba%d8%a7%d8%b2-%d8%a8%d8%a7%d9%82%db%8c-%d9%85%d8%b3%db%8c%d8%b1-%d8%b2%db%8c%d8%a8%d8%a7%db%8c-%d8%ae%d9%88%d8%af%d8%b4/#respond Fri, 24 Dec 2021 09:08:31 +0000 قبل از ورود به قدم چهار دوست داشتم یه نگاهی به پشت سر بندازیم … قدم سه چه چیزهایی به من داد ؟ اگه قدم سوم خوبی کار کرده باشم ، بار بزرگی از شونه هام برداشته شده و احساس سبکی عظیمی خواهم کرد ، بار سنگین تغییر دادن و گرداندن جهان و جهانیان دیگه رو دوش من نیست ! سوراخ لایه ی اوزون دیگه باری بر دوش من تنها نیست ! آب شدن یخهای قطبی هم همینطور ، منقرض شدن نوعی اختاپوس و نحوه ی مدیریت کشور بولکینافاسو … با قدم سه قرار نیست من همکار ، همسایه ، حتی همسر و فرزند و برادر و خواهرم (و عجیب تر حتی پدر و مادرم ) رو تغییر بدم ! مسئولیت جنگ در اقصی نقاط جهان ، بار مشکلات سیاسی و اجتماعی همه بر گردن من نیست ! بله ، من خدا نیستم و سهم کوچکی برای تغییر خودم و انجام وظیفه ی خودم در قبال همه ی اینها دارم … این یعنی سبک شدن … از طرفی دیگه من تنها نیستم ، خداوندی مهربان حامی ، نگهبان ، مراقب و محافظ منه … هر جا نیاز دارم راه رو به من نشون میده ، هر جا لازم باشه هدایت ، حمایت و حفاظتم می کنه و قدرت بسیار زیادی در این درک و رابطه تجربه خواهم کرد . از نگاهی دیگه آشنایی من با خودم در این قدم از نوع دیگه ای بود ، اون که تصمیمات وحشتناک برای من می گرفت هوای نفسم (اراده ی شخصیم) بود . فهمیدم در این جهان دو نوع تصمیم داریم ، بر اساس اراده شخصی و بر اساس خواست و اراده ی خداوند … این وضعیت من رو در خیلی موارد معلوم کرد ، جواب خیلی سوالهام رو داد … با داشتن ابزارهایی که قدم سه به من داد ، حالا دستام خالی نیست ، دیگه تنها نیستم ، حالا وقتشه دست خدا رو بگیریم و با شهامتی که از گرفتن دستای گرم خداوند در زندگیمون پیدامی کنیم می زنیم به دل ناشناخته های وجودمون ، با خوب و بد درونمون آشنا خواهیم شد و بارهای بسیار سنگینی رو زمین خواهیم گذاشت … چه سفر لذت بخش خواهد شد … اونقدر چیزها برای من در قدم چهار روشن خواهد شد که تبدیل به انسانی جدید میشم … انسانی واقعا جدید … پس بزنید بریم … ]]> /%d9%be%d8%a7%db%8c%d8%a7%d9%86-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%8c-%d8%a2%d8%ba%d8%a7%d8%b2-%d8%a8%d8%a7%d9%82%db%8c-%d9%85%d8%b3%db%8c%d8%b1-%d8%b2%db%8c%d8%a8%d8%a7%db%8c-%d8%ae%d9%88%d8%af%d8%b4/feed/ 0 سوال 42 قدم سوم / چه اعمالی را در نظر دارم که جهت به کار گرفتن تصمیم خود به اجرا در آورم ؟ کار کردن باقی قدمها چگونه در این مقوله می گنجد ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-42-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84%db%8c-%d8%b1%d8%a7-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d9%86%d8%b8%d8%b1-%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-42-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84%db%8c-%d8%b1%d8%a7-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d9%86%d8%b8%d8%b1-%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87/#comments Thu, 23 Dec 2021 10:33:39 +0000 خوب رسیدیم به آخرین سوال قدم سوم و وقت مرور برنامم برای عملکردهای لازمه برای اجرایی کردن تصمیمم خصوصا از دیدگاه اینکه کارکردن باقی قدمها چه ارتباطی به سپردن داره … خوب وقتی در قدم یک گفتم نه می دونم و نه می تونم و در قدم دو هم گفتم عقل سالمم ندارم ، در قدم سه هم تصمیم گرفتم سهم و نقش خودم رو انجام بدم و باقیش رو بسپرم تا برام انجام بده … همینطور خواستم طبق اراده ی خودم عمل نکنم و طبق خواست و اراده ی خداوند عمل کنم … این جمله ها کلی سوال ایجاد میکنه ! سلامت عقل چطور به من بر می گرده ؟ نقش من چیه ؟ نقش خداوند چیه ؟ هوای نفس و اراده ی شخصی من دقیقا چیه ؟ اراده ی خداوند دقیقا کدومه ؟ اصلا به همین دلیل بود که قدم سه یک راست نرفت سر اصل مطلب که بگه ما اراده و زندگیمون رو به مراقبت خدا سپردیم ! و گفت ما تصمیم گرفتیم … چون این سوالات خیلی هاش هنوز جواب کاملی پیش من نداره و من تا ابد نمی تونم هر دقیقه آویزون راهنمام باشم بعنوان اراده سنج !یا با درک راهنمام از خداوند که نمی تونم زندگی کنم … پس تصمیمم می گیریم به این راه ادامه بدیم ، برای رسیدن به جوابهام و عملی کردن تصمیمم به حضور در جلسات ادامه میدم ، به تماس با راهنمام ادامه میدم ، به مشارکت در برنامه ادامه میدم ، به خدمت ادامه میدم و مهم تر از همه ، پاسخ تمام سوالاتم در کارکرد باقی قدمهاست … اگه بخوام بگم هر قدم پاسخ کدام سوال از این سوالات رو میده متن خیلی طولانی میشه و لذتش اینه که پاسخ سوالات رو ذره ذره و در طول کارکرد باقی قدمها متوجه بشیم … من باید به کارکرد قدم ادامه بدم تا خودم ، خداوند ،بیماریم ، اراده ی شخصیم ، اراده ی خداوند ، روشهای آشنایی و ارتباط با خداوند ، برداشتن دیوارهای بین من و خودش و خیلی چیزها رو در راستای این تصمیم یاد بگیرم . ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-42-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84%db%8c-%d8%b1%d8%a7-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d9%86%d8%b8%d8%b1-%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87/feed/ 6 سوال 41 قدم سه /چگونه تسلیم در قدم یک به من در قدم سوم کمک می کند ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-41-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%da%86%da%af%d9%88%d9%86%d9%87-%d8%aa%d8%b3%d9%84%db%8c%d9%85-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%db%8c%da%a9-%d8%a8%d9%87-%d9%85%d9%86-%d8%af/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-41-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%da%86%da%af%d9%88%d9%86%d9%87-%d8%aa%d8%b3%d9%84%db%8c%d9%85-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%db%8c%da%a9-%d8%a8%d9%87-%d9%85%d9%86-%d8%af/#comments Tue, 21 Dec 2021 08:43:07 +0000 اول اعتراف کنم امروز بی اعصابم خوب تسلیم قدم یک چی گفت ؟ گفت دوست خوبم الان که اقرار کردی عاجز و ناتوانی و اقرار کردی زندگیم از دستم خارجه و غیر قابل ادارست و حتی اقرار کردی که من از اداره کردن درون خودم هم عاجزم و اونم مثل بیرونم داغونه ، دست و پا نزن و بشین سر جات ! حالا این درک چطور در قدم سه کمک می کنه ، زندگی و ارادت رو گذاشتی جلوت ، دستات رو بالا کردی و گفتی همینم ، همینه … گفتی نه می دونم و نه می تونم … حالا باید اجازه بدی اونکه همه چیز رو می دونه و همه کار رو می تونه برات انجامش بده ! بذاری دستاتو بگیره و یهویی دستاتو از دستش جدا نکنی … دیگه نباید یهو یادت بره و شروع به سرکشی کنی … نباید یادت بره اعتماد کنی … نباید دوباره توهم برت داره که می دونی یا می تونی … نباید دوباره از نقطه ی تسلیمت خارج بشی و بشینی جای خدا و بخوای خدایی کنی … نباید نتیجه ی خدایی کردنت توی زندگیت رو یادت بره که چه فاجعه ای به بار آوردی … نباید با دیدن نتایج کار کردن خداوند تو زندگیت فکر کنی این تو بودی که این کارها رو کردی و شروع کنی به منم منم … تسلیم یعنی بگیر بشین سر جات … (این جمله از بی اعصابیم بود ، بعدی رو بخون ) ، تسلیم یعنی در جایگاه اصلی خودت قرار بگیر : فردی که درگیر یک بیماری کشندست ، به ناتوانی و عجزش اقرار کرده و پذیرفته این بیماری زندگی و افکارش رو ویران کرده و نیازمند کمک یک نیروی برتره … بیماری که داروهاش (اصول برنامه ) رو به موقع می خوره ، ناپرهیزی (لغزش روحانی و جسمانی) نمی کنه و بهترین سعی و بیشترین کوشش رو برای بهبودی می کنه ، بیماری که پاشو تو کفش درمانگرش (خداوندی مهربان بگونه ای که درک می کنیم ) نمی کنه و ادای دکترا رو در نمیاره … ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-41-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%da%86%da%af%d9%88%d9%86%d9%87-%d8%aa%d8%b3%d9%84%db%8c%d9%85-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%db%8c%da%a9-%d8%a8%d9%87-%d9%85%d9%86-%d8%af/feed/ 2 سوال 40 قدم سوم / آیا احساس می کنم که اکنون آماده هستم تا بسپارم ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-40-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d8%a7%d8%ad%d8%b3%d8%a7%d8%b3-%d9%85%db%8c-%da%a9%d9%86%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87-%d8%a7%da%a9%d9%86%d9%88%d9%86-%d8%a7/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-40-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d8%a7%d8%ad%d8%b3%d8%a7%d8%b3-%d9%85%db%8c-%da%a9%d9%86%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87-%d8%a7%da%a9%d9%86%d9%88%d9%86-%d8%a7/#comments Sat, 18 Dec 2021 09:12:51 +0000 حالا که داریم به جلو حرکت می کنیم حاضری اراده و زندگی رو فقط برای امروز به مراقبت خدا بسپاری ؟ این سوال داره میگه یه مروری بکن ، این مدتی که قدم سه کار کردی درک کردی قراره چیکار بکنی ، به کی بسپری ، اصلا قراره بسپری که چیکار کنه و چی بشه ؟ چی رو بسپری ، چه زمانهایی بسپری ؟ اگه با هر کدوم از اینا هنوز کنار نیومدی وقت یه مرور کوچیکه ، یه دو دوتا چهارتا کردن با خودته … وقتش رسیده که آماده بشی … امروز وقتی این سوال رو مرور می کردم به نظر یکی از دوستانم برخوردم که نوشته بود حاضری از حس مالکیت بگذری ! دیدم چقدر قشنگ گفته و یه دریچه جدید برام باز شد ، وقتی که به چیزهایی چنان سخت چسبیدم و فکر می کنم مالک اون چیزها منم (و اینجا جا داره جمله ای خیلی خیلی مهم از اعتقاداتم رو بیان کنم تو تنها مالک آن چیزهایی هستی که مرگ نتونه اونها رو از تو بگیره ! زن و بچه و مال و اموال و کار و لوازم و زمین و ملک و ماشین ، همه چیزهایی هستن که خداوند به من هدیه کرده ، نباید انقدر حس مالکیت روشون داشته باشم که وقتی می خوام به مراقبت خداوند بسپرمشون (اون نه اینکه ازشون دل ببرم ، بلکه بسپرم صاحب اصلیشون مراقبشون باشه ) نتونم و حرص بخورم و بترسم … آمادگی یعنی درک اینکه خداوند مالک همه چیزه و بهترین مراقب هر آنچه که دارم خودشه … و با لبخند بسپرم … خدایا افکار تقدیم به تو ، مسیرم مسیر تو ، اموالم وسیله های تو ، روابطم به سمت تو … خدایا اصلا خودم مال تو … پروردگارا خود را تقدیم تو می دارم ، با من كن وازمن ساز آنچه خود اراده كنی پروردگارا خود را تقدیم تو می دارم ، با من كن وازمن ساز آنچه خود اراده كنی ،از اسارت نفس رهایم كن تا انجا م اراده ات بهتر توانم ،مشكلاتم را بگیر تا پیروزی بر آنها شاهدی باشد برای كسانی كه با قدرت تو ،عشق تو وراه تو یاریشان خواهم داد ، باشد كه همیشه بر اراده تو گردن نهم. ((آمین )) ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-40-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d8%a7%d8%ad%d8%b3%d8%a7%d8%b3-%d9%85%db%8c-%da%a9%d9%86%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87-%d8%a7%da%a9%d9%86%d9%88%d9%86-%d8%a7/feed/ 4 سوال 39 قدم سه /آیا هیچ بهانه و دستاویزی برای عدم تصمیم گیری جهت واگذاری و سپردن اراده و زندگی ام به مراقبت خداوند بدانگونه که درک می کنم دارم ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-39-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d9%87%db%8c%da%86-%d8%a8%d9%87%d8%a7%d9%86%d9%87-%d9%88-%d8%af%d8%b3%d8%aa%d8%a7%d9%88%db%8c%d8%b2%db%8c-%d8%a8%d8%b1/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-39-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d9%87%db%8c%da%86-%d8%a8%d9%87%d8%a7%d9%86%d9%87-%d9%88-%d8%af%d8%b3%d8%aa%d8%a7%d9%88%db%8c%d8%b2%db%8c-%d8%a8%d8%b1/#comments Wed, 15 Dec 2021 06:42:44 +0000 خوب رسیدیم به بخش حرکت به جلو …. جالبه که بیماری حتی در کارکرد قدمهام هم من رو تنها نمی ذاره و این بخش حرکت به جلو دقیقا برای همین نوشته شده تا بیماری رو خلع سلاح کنه ! گاهی بیماری من در لباس بهبودی سراغم میاد و میگه آرام ، وقت جلو رفتن نیست ! این قدم خیلی مهمه برو از اول مرورش کن ! یا نه ، اصلا برو یکبار از اول قدمها رو کار کن که خوب درکشون کنی ! باورتون میشه که این بیماری چقدر زیرکه ! از خود قدمها هم بعنوان ابزارش استفاده می کنه و با ابزارش «کمال گرایی» به سراغم میاد … گاهی میگه تو هنوز آماده ی سپردن اراده و زندگیت نیستی ، باید بیشتر روی خودت کار کنی … بذار آماده ی آماده که شدی یهو بسپر (مگه کدوم تغییر در مراحل زندگی من یهویی اتفاق افتاده که من باید این دروغ رو باور کنم ) … گاهی میگه اگه اراده و زندگیت رو بسپاری دست و بالت رو می بنده و یه زندگی بی لذت انتظارتو می کشه ، یه خورده با بیماریت زندگی کن ، بعد میری سراغ سپردن و خدا رو به زندگیت دعوت می کنی ! (آخه حقشه به بیماریم فحش عمه بدم ؟! زندگی با بیماری کدوم لذت رو برام باقی گذاشت ؟ مگه خاری و خفت هام یادم رفته که بخوام با بیماریم لذت بیشتری ببرم ! عطاش رو به لقاش بخشیدم ! ) و فراموش نکنم زندگی با سپردن هزار با لذتهای جدید و زیباتری برام داره که باید تجربش کنم … گاهی حس می کنم بدون ابزارهای بیماری اصلا بلد نیستم زندگی کنم ! توی شغلم اگه دروغ نگم ، توی خانه اگه نقاب نزنم ، توی جمعها اگه غیبت نکنم ، توی خلوتم اگه خلاف نکنم … و بیماری میگه اگه خدا رو به زندگیت دعوت کنی فلج میشی … یادمون نره زندگی به روال برنامه و با بهبودی صدها بار لذت بخش تر و موفق تر از زندگی با بیماریه ، خداوند ناخدای بهتری برای کشتی زندگی منه تا اون بیماری که روز به روز من رو بیشتر به سمت غرق برد … باید اعتماد کنم … اینها که گفتم فقط بعضی از بهانه دستاویزهایی بود که بیماری ممکنه سر راه هر کدام از ما قرار بده تا به پیش نریم و اراده و زندگیمون رو به خداوند نسپریم و به عبارتی خدا رو به زندگیمون دعوت نکنیم … واقعیت اینه بیماری یه سری حقه و کلک منحصر به فرد هم با توجه به روحیه و شرایط و نوع بیماریمون سر راه هر کدام از ما قرار میده که اینجا باید بنویسیم که اون صدایی که نمی خواد من به پیش برم دیگه از چه بهانه و ابزارهایی استفاده می کنه و باید اونها رو بنویسم و برای راهنمام بخونم تا رسواش کنم و ازشون رها بشم … ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-39-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d9%87%db%8c%da%86-%d8%a8%d9%87%d8%a7%d9%86%d9%87-%d9%88-%d8%af%d8%b3%d8%aa%d8%a7%d9%88%db%8c%d8%b2%db%8c-%d8%a8%d8%b1/feed/ 3 سوال 38 قدم سه / اخیراً چه کاری کرده‌ام که نشان‌دهنده‌ی تعهد من به بهبودی و به کارگیری برنامه باشد؟ (مثال پست خدماتی قبول کرده‌ام؟) آیا موافقت کرده‌ام راهنمای دیگر افراد در حال بهبودی باشم؟ آیا رفتن در جلسات علی‌رغم هر گونه احساسی که داشته‌ام ادامه داده‌ام؟ آیا به کار کردن با راهنمای خود حتی اگر او حقیقت تلخی را به من گفته باشد یا راهکارهایی را به من پیشنهاد کرده باشد که مورد پسند من نبوده ادامه دادم؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-38-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%ae%db%8c%d8%b1%d8%a7%d9%8b-%da%86%d9%87-%da%a9%d8%a7%d8%b1%db%8c-%da%a9%d8%b1%d8%af%d9%87%e2%80%8c%d8%a7%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-38-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%ae%db%8c%d8%b1%d8%a7%d9%8b-%da%86%d9%87-%da%a9%d8%a7%d8%b1%db%8c-%da%a9%d8%b1%d8%af%d9%87%e2%80%8c%d8%a7%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87/#respond Mon, 13 Dec 2021 20:55:20 +0000 اصل روحانی تعهد : به عهده گرفتن، عهده دارشدن،پیمان بستن، عهدبستن ← وقتی تصمیمی میگیرم برای حفظش نیاز به این اصل روحانی دارم ، باید با عملکردم به خداوند و جهان هستی اعلام کنم که «هستیم بر آن عهد که بستیم» … خوب سوال جواب رو درون خودش داره ، اولین نشانه ی تعهد من به تصمیمم به کارگیری برنامست ! و جالبه که سوال حتی یک گام پیشتر گذاشته و گفته بعد از اینکه برنامه رو به کار گرفتی اجازه بدی برنامه هم روی تو کار کنه و تو رو به کار بگیره (از طریق خدمت ) … همینطور سوال میگه وقتی خوش خوشونته سپردن آسونه ، آیا وقتی چیزی سخته یا دردی از راه میرسه هم به اصولت ، به عمل طبق خواست خداوند ، به سپردنت پابندی ؟ معمولا چنین شرایطی بهترین اثبات اینه که چقدر نسبت به بهبودیم متعهدم و سپردنم چقدر در من تقویت و درونی شده … راهنماها روشهای مختلفی برای آموختن تجربیاتشون به ما دارن ، بعضی راهنماها مستقیما به نقاط ضعف بیماری من ضربه می زنن و بیماری آه از نهادش در میاد و شروع می کنه به داد و فریاد و مخالفت … در اون لحظاتی که ذهنت اصلا دلش نمی خواد به حرفهای راهنمات گوش بدی و عمل کنی ، آیا درک می کنی که باید بسپری و علیرغم دردی (که حاصل از مقاومت در مقابل تغییره ) که داری تحمل می کنی باید به رهنمود راهنمات عمل کنی … تعهد یعنی زمستان سرد ،کنار بخاری و در جمع گرم خانوادت پای سریال مورد علاقتی ، آیا حاضری ازش بگذری و 90 دقیقه به جلسه بری و بشینی و بشنوی ، یا حتی 90 دقیقه بری و بعنوان خوش آمد گو سرپا بایستی و به همدردانت خدمت کنی ؟ یا وقتی سر کارت داری پول در میاری و یه کمیته مثل زندانها و بیمارستانها نیاز داره که بعنوان خدمتگذارش وقت بذاری و بری پیامی که دریافت کردی رو به دردمندهای در جامعه برسونی ،آیا حاضری کاسبی رو رها کنی و به خدمت به فرزندان خدا دل بدی ؟ آیا حاضری دو سال وقت بذاری و سوالات قدمی که راهنمات باهات کار کرده رو به تعدادی از همدردانت پس بدی و باهاشون کار کنی ؟ آیا حاضری همونقدر که گوش شنوا برای شنیدن دردهات بود ، گوشی شنوا باشی برای شنیدن دردهای دوستانت … اینها یعنی من برای رسیدن به هدفم (بهبودی) ، من برای عمل به خواست و اراده ی خداوند همه جوره پایه ام … و بعدش معجزه اتفاق می افته ، خواهی دید که خیر و برکت و آگاهی و نور و آرامش چطور به زندگیت جاری میشه … خداوند بدهکار کسی نمی مونه ، کسی که برای خدا فداکاری کنه ، خداوند خوب جوری جوابش رو میده … ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-38-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%ae%db%8c%d8%b1%d8%a7%d9%8b-%da%86%d9%87-%da%a9%d8%a7%d8%b1%db%8c-%da%a9%d8%b1%d8%af%d9%87%e2%80%8c%d8%a7%d9%85-%da%a9%d9%87/feed/ 0 سوال 37 قدم سوم/ چه مشهودات و مدارکی دارم که دیگر می توانم با دلگرمی به بهبودی خود اعتماد کنم ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-37-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%d9%87-%d9%85%d8%b4%d9%87%d9%88%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%88-%d9%85%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%da%a9%db%8c-%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%85-%da%a9/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-37-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%d9%87-%d9%85%d8%b4%d9%87%d9%88%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%88-%d9%85%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%da%a9%db%8c-%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%85-%da%a9/#comments Sun, 12 Dec 2021 07:26:46 +0000 بچه ای کمتر از یکساله رو تصور کنید که تمام زندگیش رو خزیده و چهار دست و پا حرکت کرده ، حالا فهمیده اگه دستای بابایی رو بگیره می تونه بلند بشه و دنیا رو از یه کم بالاتر ببینه و دستای بابا رو گرفته و با پاهای بی جونش صاف وایستاده و خوشش اومده … حالا به بابا اعتماد کرده و امیدوار شده که جور دیگه ای هم میشه حرکت کرد ، به جاهای دست نیافتنی تر میشه سر زد و تاتی تاتی چند قدم با کمک بابا حرکت کرده … ایمان پیداکرده که تا وقتی دستای بابا رو بگیره می تونه تاتی تاتی حرکت کنه و بعد مدتی حتی با حمایت بابا یک یا دو قدم هم خودش برداشته … حالا کلی هیجان وارد زندگیش شده … هیجان «منم می تونم» و هیجان دیدن جاهای تازه و تجربه کردن میلیونها چیز که حالا با راه رفتن در اختیارش قرار می گیره … فک کنم همه داستان رو متوجه شدیم … حالا امروز چه مدرکی دارم که می تونم با دلگرمی به بهبودیم اعتماد کنم ؟ برای منی که از دنیای تاریک اسارت در دستان بیماریم اومده بودم ، همینکه اونقدر آزاد شدم که تونستم سه قدم روحانی کار کنم ، دنیا جور دیگه ای ببینم ، درک کنم غیر از دنیای خیالی توی ذهنم یه دنیای واقعی تر این بیرون هست ، اینکه فهمیدم کمک برای من همه جا هست و می تونم جور دیگه ای زندگی کنم ، اینکه فهمیدم منم حق انتخاب می تونم داشته باشم ، اینکه فرصت دارم غیر از خورده فرمایشات ذهن بیمارم به چیزهای دیگه ای فکر کنم ، بجز تصاویر تیره و تاری که برام دیکته می کرد می تونم آینده ی روشن تری رو ببینم ، اینکه مجبور نیستم به سمت مرگی زودهنگام کشونده بشم ، اینکه حق دارم آرزو کنم و به سمتش حرکت کنم ، اینکه دنیا با شانس و اقبال نمی چرخه و صاحب داره ، اینکه صاحبش من رو دوست داره و حمایت و حفاظتم می کنه … اینکه تونستم مدت زیادی رو پاک از عادتی که فکر می کردم هرگز امکان نداره ازش رها بشم دارم زندگی می کنم ، اینکه زندگیم معنا پیدا کرده ، اینکه کلاف سر درگم زندگی من حالا منظم تر شده و مسیری پیدا کردم ، اینکه حالا که دارم یاد می گیرم زندگی کنم زندگی و اطرافیان مهربانتر به نظر میرسن و هزاران چیز دیگه (همه ی اینهایی که گفتم مدارک قدم سه ایه که اولین بار کار کردیم … اگه از امروزم بگم هزاران صفحه مدرک باید رو کنم ) اینها کمی از مشهوداتیه که باهاش فهمیدم اگه با این حضور کوچکم در یک برنامه و کارکرد سه قدم چنین امیدی در دلم روشن شد ، چنین ایمانی من رو به عمل بیشتر راهنمایی کرد و چنین اعتمادی در جانم نشست ، پس با کارکرد دوازده قدم و بودن مدت بیشتری در مسیر چه هدایایی دریافت خواهم کرد … پی نوشت : وقتهایی که به چنین سوالاتی بر میخورم وسوسه میشم از عظمت شگفتی های زندگی خودم به لطف بهبودی بیشتر بنویسم و هر بار بخاطر حفظ گمنامی و رعایت سیاستم در نوشتارها که هدفم باز کردن سوال و نگاه به سوال (تا جایی که می تونم ) از دیدگاه دوستان تازه واردم هست ، آروم می گیرم … ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-37-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%d9%87-%d9%85%d8%b4%d9%87%d9%88%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%aa-%d9%88-%d9%85%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%da%a9%db%8c-%d8%af%d8%a7%d8%b1%d9%85-%da%a9/feed/ 2 سوال 36 قدم سه / چه اعمال بیشتری می توانم انجام دهم تا اصول روحانی امید ، ایمان و اعتماد را در بهبودی خود بکار گیرم ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-36-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%da%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84-%d8%a8%db%8c%d8%b4%d8%aa%d8%b1%db%8c-%d9%85%db%8c-%d8%aa%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%86%d9%85-%d8%a7%d9%86/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-36-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%da%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84-%d8%a8%db%8c%d8%b4%d8%aa%d8%b1%db%8c-%d9%85%db%8c-%d8%aa%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%86%d9%85-%d8%a7%d9%86/#respond Sat, 11 Dec 2021 09:21:23 +0000 خوب رسیدیم به عملکردی که این اصول رو در زندگی با بهبودیم جاری بکنه (و این قدم چه اصول خوبی برای وارد شدن در بهبودیم در اختیارم میذاره ) … در یک کلام اگه بگم ، میگم زندگی فقط برای امروز و به عمل روال برنامه ! یعنی امروز رو با چیزهایی که یادگرفتم بگذرونم ، این تمام نیازهای روحانی من رو تامین می کنه . اما با جزئیات بگم که زندگی قدم سه ای چطوریه و چطوری امید ، ایمان و اعتماد وارد زندگیم میشه می تونم بگم تمرین و تکرار … صبح که بیدار میشم لحظات (بسیار مهم) بیداریم رو به شکرگزاری و یادآوری حس بهبودی جلسه ی دیشب و صحبت با خداوند و اعلام خواسته های امروزم می گذرونم … اینجوری امیدم رو تقویت می کنم و آخر شب که حمایت و حال خوب و رسیدن به تعدادی از خواسته های روزم رو ببینم و در یک جلسه شرکت کنم ایمان و اعتمادم تقویت می شه … در طول روز هر کاری که می خوام انجام بدم با خودم مرور می کنم آیا این کار طبق اصولم و خواست خداوند هست ، یا سوالی که شخصا از خودم می پرسم در این لحظه «عشق» چه می کند … در طول روز دعا و صحبت با نیروی برترم رو فراموش نمی کنم و با تماس با دوستان بهبودیم حالم رو خوب نگه می دارم … به کارکرد قدمم ادامه می دم و در طول روز با سوالات قدمم در تماسم … سپرده هام رو سعی می کنم از خداوند پس نگیرم و هر جا که متوجه شدم دارم طبق اراده شخصی و هوای نفسم عمل می کنم سریع به خودم میام و دوباره همه چیز رو به خدا میسپرم … افکار بیماریم رو با راهنمام مشارکت می کنم و در طول روز هر جا که بتونم بهتر عمل می کنم و خدمت می کنم … خوب این کارها چه ارتباطی به امید ، ایمان و اعتماد داشت ؟ اول انجام همین کارها (بدون اینکه از قبل بدونم چی قراره بشه ) نشانه ی امید و اعتماد من به خداوند و برنامست و در طول زمان آرامش و نتایج حاصل از اون ایمان من رو تقویت می کنه … ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-36-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%87-%da%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%84-%d8%a8%db%8c%d8%b4%d8%aa%d8%b1%db%8c-%d9%85%db%8c-%d8%aa%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%86%d9%85-%d8%a7%d9%86/feed/ 0 سوال 35 قدم سوم / چگونه امید ، ایمان و اعتماد در زندگی من تبدیل به نیروهای مثبت گردیده اند ؟ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-35-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%da%af%d9%88%d9%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d9%85%db%8c%d8%af-%d8%8c-%d8%a7%db%8c%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%86-%d9%88-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d8%aa%d9%85%d8%a7/ /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-35-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%da%af%d9%88%d9%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d9%85%db%8c%d8%af-%d8%8c-%d8%a7%db%8c%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%86-%d9%88-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d8%aa%d9%85%d8%a7/#respond Wed, 08 Dec 2021 07:22:22 +0000 اصول روحانی امید ، ایمان و اعتماد سه فرشته هستند که در مسیر روحانیت اولی هولت میده به جلو ، دومی نگهت میداره تا بمونی و سومی می کشدت به جلوتر … اینها سوخت های موتور روحانی بهبودی من هستن . وقتی قراره اراده و زندگیم رو به خداوند بسپرم ، اونم خداوندی که هرگز درک درستی ازش نداشتم (که اگر داشتم این بیماری با من چنین نمی کرد که کرد ! ) که ازش مراقبت کنه ، اونم مراقبتی که درست نمی دونم چطوریاست قطعا باید ترسیده باشم و این ترس رو ایمان برام پر میکنه … از تلاشهای تنهایی گذشته و شکست هام قطعا خسته و نا امیدم و امید به نیروی برترم این جای خالی رو برام پر می کنه و به همه ی اعتمادهایی که به هر کسی کردم و جواب نگرفتم ، اعتمادهایی که به هر روشی کردم و حتی اعتمادهایی که به خودم کردم و شکسته شدم دیگه بی اعتمادم و اصل روحانی اعتماد به خداوند قدرتمندم آرومم می کنه … چطور این سه اصل روحانی تبدیل به نیروهای مثبت زندگیم میشن ، هر کجا نا امید میشم ، یادم می افته حامیم خداوندیه که صاحب تمام دنیاست ، همه ی بازی مال خودشه و ما هم بچه مریضاییم که باباها هواشونو بیشتر از بقیه دارن ، این میشه امید زندگیم … نگاهی که می کنم می بینم هر روزم داره از قبل بهتر میشه ، هر وقت اجازه بدم مراقبم باشه خیر تو زندگیم جاریه … هر وقت نمی دونم به کی و چی اعتماد کنم ، میسپرم به خودش ، به خودش اعتماد می کنم ، خداوندی که قابل اعتماد ترین حضور همیشگی عالمه ، اونکه راه رو زیرپام قرار داد جای اینکه من برم توی راه ! ، اونکه نور هستیه ، قطعا قابل اعتماده ، کافیه خواست و ارادش رو بیارم توی زندگیم و به مراقبتش اعتماد کنم … و ایمان … چیزی که در هر بالا و پایینی من رو توی مسیر نگه میداره ، ایمانی که ازش حرف میزنیم ایمان به اینه که خداوند حامی و پشتیبان و مراقب منه ، خوب و بد ، بالا و پایین نداره ، همش داخل یه بازیه که گردانندش حامی منه … اما عزیزانم یه نکته بسیار مهمه ، درکی که دارید میخونید درک شخصی منه از شناخت کوچکی که از خداوندی که درک می کنم پیدا کردم ! با رشد شناختمون این نیروها تبدیل میشن به نیروهای معجزه گر ، زمانهایی که شناخت من نسبت به خداوند بیشتر و بیشتر بشه ، اونوقته که این سه فرشته که اسم بردیم تبدیل میشن به نیروهای فوق العاده قدرتمندی که مثل عصای جادو برای من توی زندگیم آرامش و ثبات و قدرت میارن … و این پروسه ی شناخت خداوند و برقراری رابطه آگاهانه باهاش در طول قدمهاست که بسط پیدا می کنه و هر چقدر من بیشتر در مسیرش و طبق خواست و ارادش قدم میذارم بیشتر و قوی تر میشه … ]]> /%d8%b3%d9%88%d8%a7%d9%84-35-%d9%82%d8%af%d9%85-%d8%b3%d9%88%d9%85-%da%86%da%af%d9%88%d9%86%d9%87-%d8%a7%d9%85%db%8c%d8%af-%d8%8c-%d8%a7%db%8c%d9%85%d8%a7%d9%86-%d9%88-%d8%a7%d8%b9%d8%aa%d9%85%d8%a7/feed/ 0 سوال 34 ، قدم سه / آیا در بهبودی خود بر علیه چیزی می جنگم ؟ فکر می کنم چه اتفاقی بیفتد اگر تمایل پیدا کنم که بگذارم بهبودی بر آن قسمت از زندگیم مستولی شود ؟ /%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d8%a8%d9%87%d8%a8%d9%88%d8%af%db%8c-%d8%ae%d9%88%d8%af-%d8%a8%d8%b1-%d8%b9%d9%84%db%8c%d9%87-%da%86%db%8c%d8%b2%db%8c-%d9%85%db%8c-%d8%ac%d9%86%da%af%d9%85-%d8%9f/ /%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d8%a8%d9%87%d8%a8%d9%88%d8%af%db%8c-%d8%ae%d9%88%d8%af-%d8%a8%d8%b1-%d8%b9%d9%84%db%8c%d9%87-%da%86%db%8c%d8%b2%db%8c-%d9%85%db%8c-%d8%ac%d9%86%da%af%d9%85-%d8%9f/#comments Sat, 04 Dec 2021 09:51:31 +0000 چقدر سوال زیباییه و می تونه به تنهایی تمام زندگی و جهان بینی من رو عوض کنه … دوستان خوبم ، رسیدیم به نقطه ی جالبی از بهبودیمون … تا اینجا اصطلاح صلح و نجنگیدن با بهبودی و … رو در قدمها زیاد شنیدیم ، ولی حالا به جایی رسیدیم که داریم از وارد کردن بهبودی به تمام جنگها بعنوان آب روی آتش حرف میزنیم ! انگار بهبودی کلید ورود به صلح با تمامیت زندگیه . اصلا جنگ چیه ؟ جالبه که هیچ تعریف دقیقی ازش پیدا نکردم ، ظاهرا می شه گفت یک کشمکش و مجادله اگاهانه و خشونت آمیز برای رسیدن به هدفی و تغییر چیز یا کسی … اما هیچ کدوم از این کلمات در فرهنگ لغات بهبودیم نمی گنجه … بذارید با مثال شروع کنیم . شما پسر عزیز دردونه ی مدیر قدر قدرت یک شرکت عظیم و مدیر داخلی یک بخش از اونجا هستید . برای تغییر هر چیز در بخش خودتون چیکار می کنید ؟ می جنگید ؟ حرص می خورید ؟ خودتون رو میزنید به اون راه یا شروع می کنید به اقدام درست بعنوان مدیر اون بخش ؟ حالا چند شرایط پیش رو دارید : چند سوال باید از خودتون بکنید : آیا اون چیز تغییر پذیره یا نه ! بعنوان مثال شما داخل ساختمانتون دیواری دارید که دوستش ندارید و می خواید برش دارید اما تمام ستونهای اصلی کل ساختمان داخلشه ! از طرفی برداشتنش باعث قاطی شدن باقی بخشهای شرکت میشه پس برداشتن اون دیوار از توانتون خارجه ! پس برچسب تغییر ناپذیر می خوره ، اگه یه روزی پدر تشخیص داد می تونه کل ساختمان رو نوسازی کنه ، ستونها رو جابجا کنه یا هر چیز … ولی واقعیت این امر اینه که در بخش شما این تغییر ناپذیره ! خوب پس رسیدیم به درک اینکه من با چیزهای تغییر ناپذیر نمی جنگم و به پدر واگذارشون می کنم !!! نوع دیگه ای از کارهایی که از توانم خارجه ، ایجاد تغییرات در بخشهاییه که اصلا تحت نظر و مدیریت من نیست !!! اونجا هم من نمی تونم تغییر بدم ، پدر اگه صلاح دونست تغییر میده ، اصلاح میکنه … من تنها می تونم درخواست کنم و اعتماد کنم … حالا فرض سوم فرض بر اینکه آنچه می خوام تغییر پذیره و زیر نظر خودمه … دیگه جنگی ندارم ! من مدیرم ، من قدرت دارم ، من فرزند مدیرعامل قدر قدرت هم هستم که قدرتم رو به اندازه ی او بالا میبره … فقط کافیه اقدام و عمل کنم … هر جایی سعی کنم درست ترین کار رو بکنم ، بهترین سعی و بیشترین کوشش . همین ! هر جا کم بیارم از پدر کمک می گیرم ، مشورت می گیرم و از قدرتمون استفاده می کنم و بهترین ها رو در بخش خودم رقم می زنم … برای تغییر یا اصلاح بخش خودم دعوایی ندارم ، برای تغییر قوانین کارم ، تغییر دکوراسیون ، تغییر شرایط مالی ، راهبردها و مسیری که بخشم باید برای رشدش پیش بره و هیچ چیز دیگه ای نمی جنگم ، دعوا نمی کنم ،حتی التماس نمی کنم … تنها کار درست رو انجام میدم … می بینید ، در هیچ کجای سناریومون جنگی در کار نبود ، کار یا کار من بود ، یا پدرجانم … ما صاحب کل داستان بودیم … خوب از داستانمون بیایم بیرون … حالا خیلی ساده بگم ، ما باید در حالت تسلیم بمونیم و در تمام لحظاتمون تمایل داشته باشیم لحظه به لحظه بهبودی در زندگیمون حضور داشته باشه ، در هر لحظه باید تمایل داشته باشیم خداوند در لحظه هامون ، در کارهامون و در همه جای زندگیمون حضور داشتته باشه ، بهبودی رو به تمام بخشهای زندگیمون باید وارد کنیم و این باعث میشه جنگی باقی نمونه … هر کجا که دارم زور اضافه میزنم ، هر کجا که درگیرم و در جنگم ، هر کجا حتی ناآرومم و دارم خودخوری می کنم قطعا یادم رفته که این جهان رو خدایی می گردونه که قادر مطلقه و من فقط باید طبق خواست و اراده ی اون زندگی کنم (وحتی بمیرم!) … این سوال کاملا در مورد مفهوم دعای آرامشه … آرامشی که بپذیرم آنچه را که نمی توانم تغییر دهم شهامتی که تغییر دهم آنچه را که می توانم … همش صلح و آرامش … هیچ جنگی در کار نیست … به خدا تمام نا آرامی های زندگیمون ، تمام چاله چوله ها و گرفتاری ها جاهاییه که نور خدا درش نتابیده ، خدا عاشق اینه که ما آرام و شاد و در صلح باشیم ، ماییم که گاهی میخوایم جای اون بشینیم و پا توی کفشش کنیم و مثل بچه های بازیگوش شروع کنیم به جنگ و دعوا و زور اضافه زدن … یه چیز قشنگ از یه دوست قشنگ شنیدم … یه کم خیلی پارادوکسه !!! یه کم هم خیلی ممکنه گیچ کننده باشه نجنگیدن آیا به معنی منفعل بودن ، هیچ کاری نکردن یا حتی کنار اومدن با مشکلات و مسائله ؟ نه به هیچ وجه !!! ما با بیماریمون در صلح نیستیم ، بلکه در مقابل بهبودیمون تسلیمیم ! همونطور که با تاریکی نمی جنگیم ، تنها چراغ روشن می کنیم … یاد فیلم مورد علاقم افتادم Peacfull Warrior جنگجوی در صلح یا صلح جو (که با نام جنگجوی درون منتشرش کردن ) … ما جنگجوترین انسانهای جهانیم ! ما برای زنده بودنمون باید تمام لحظات برای ماندن در مسیر خواست و اراده ی خداوند در صلح و تسلیم در حال آماده باش کامل باشیم ! ما جنگجویانی هستیم که در در تک تک لحظاتمون با صلح جویی و آرامش و تسلیم داریم زندگی می کنیم ! هر کجا لازم باشه که وسوسه ای رو بکشیم ، ناگهان با کمک خداوند وارد عمل می شیم ، هر جا که پای هوای نفسمون وسط بیاد ما با شمشیر و سپر حاضریم ، ما از ارزشهامون با صلح دفاع می کنیم و بهشون پایبندیم … ما بهترین سعی و بیشترین کوششمون رو با صلح و تسلیم انجام میدیم … چقدر حماسی شد :-d البته اینم بگم که ماها مجبوریم !!! چون یک بیماری کشنده داریم که اگه اینجور نباشیم ما رو به سمت مرگ میبره پس به خودمون خیلی غره نمی شیم . ته نوشت ! (باز هم برای هزارمین بار تاکید می کنم ، چیزی که می خونید درک و تجربه ی شخصی آرامه ، نظر هیچ انجمنی نیست و انجمن های دوازده قدمی تنها بر پایه درکهای شخصی اعضاش به هر کسی اجازه میده درک شخصی خودش رو داشته باشه ) درک کوچیک خیلی شخصی دیگه هم دارم که صداشو در نیارید … اینکه اصلا کسی برای جنگیدن نیست وقتی بدونی در هر انسانی روح خدا وجود داره … چیزی برای جنگیدن نیست وقتی بفهمی همش بازی و بازیچست و برای رشدمون سر راهمون قرار گرفته … ]]> /%d8%a2%db%8c%d8%a7-%d8%af%d8%b1-%d8%a8%d9%87%d8%a8%d9%88%d8%af%db%8c-%d8%ae%d9%88%d8%af-%d8%a8%d8%b1-%d8%b9%d9%84%db%8c%d9%87-%da%86%db%8c%d8%b2%db%8c-%d9%85%db%8c-%d8%ac%d9%86%da%af%d9%85-%d8%9f/feed/ 8

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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692Sat, 31 Aug 2024 06:28:30 +0000addiction12-stepsRecoverySongwritingforgivenessgrace12 StepsJesus ChristaccomplishmentsalcoholcounselingdrugsEasterGodInspirationIntegrityNaziPTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder emotional distressResurrectionco-dependencygoalsloveAdolf HitlerAngerAntiseminismBlindCDCarrie UnderwoodCharlie SheenChristian Music AwardsContentmentCuttingDeafDepressionDual DisorderDunkin' DonutsG.K. ChestertonHelen KellerIraq WarJames TaylorJesus Take The WheelJewsKoreaLas VegasMartin Luther KingMusicOptimismProdigalsReinhold NeibuhrSelf-harmSerenity PrayerTeam HoytThe CrossThe prodigalVietnam WarWarren ZevonWorld War 2accountabilityaddictionsaddictonadventuresagingbeating the oddsbeing bornbipolarcasinoscharacterchoicescomfortcompassionconversationcreativitycrippledcryingdeathegoemotionseternal lifeevilexpirationfamilyfamous last wordsfamous peoplefitnessfriendshipgamblinggrievinggrowing oldergrowing uphome-cominghumblehumilityhypocrisylifelisteninglossmaking amendsmarathonmenmidlife crisismuseoffendingoffenseparentingpaying attentionpersonal narrativesplastic surgeryragamuffinrelationshipsrichesserving otherssinnerssobrietyspecialstoriestaking adviceteachabletearsvicariouswar prisonersyou12 Steps and A Winding Roadnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)Blogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-2446039590233732184Sun, 31 Jul 2011 18:53:00 +00002011-07-31T14:29:20.257-07:00Lost And FoundHave you ever lost something that you considered valuable?... And then, when you've found it, it becomes even more precious?... Something you thought was gone forever...and then, suddenly it's back in your possession? My mother-in-law and father-in-law both died a few years ago. They left behind a house full of memories. Decades of raising a family, friendships, struggles, love and laughter. My wife and I had to put a lot of their stuff in storage, especially since she wasn't ready to deal with all the memories...yet. So, as we're unpacking stuff the other day, we run across a couple of old paintings. Paintings that had been hanging on the wall of her folks house ever since she could remember. Old watercolor paintings. No particularly "beautiful" (in my limited artistic estimation), but nice. We considered taking them to the thrift store along with a few other things that didn't hold any particular sentimental value. As I was looking at them I noticed that they were "original".... not your common art-store knock-off....and that the artwork was signed by the artist,... someone I didn't recognize. So... I decided to do an Internet search, just to see who this artist was. Was he still living?...and, if so,...where? It took me a while on the Internet to track him down.....but, eventually I did. He was still doing art and lived in a city just a few hundred miles from where we lived. He was now in his late 80's....and there was a telephone number. So I called. "Hi, is this Mr. __________, who is an artist/painter?... (I hear the voice of an elderly gentleman)... "Yes, this is he.... who am I speaking to?".... I told him who I was and that I thought I might have a couple of his paintings. Did he remember them?..... He didn't. But, his wife suddenly got on the phone. She said, "Who is this calling?".... So, I explained to her the situation. I told her that I thought I had a couple of her husband's watercolors paintings, but wasn't sure. She said she didn't think that was possible.... I told her I would take a few pictures and email them to their email address. I did... The next day I received an email response:.... "Yes, these are my husband's paintings! It's been years since he painted in watercolor!..... He painted stuff like this before we were married....60 years ago...... 60 years. And it just happened to be their 60th Wedding anniversary on THAT DAY!.... Amazing! I told her I would love to mail her the paintings and she was ecstatic about it....even more than her husband. Anyway, it's an interesting chain of events that lead to my mother-in-law having these paintings in her possession for the past 60 years. She had lived in the same city as the artist, had worked in a grocery store just down the street from his parents. To this day, my wife and I will never know, this side of heaven, the details of how she came to own them....for the artist says he never remembers selling any paintings "back then"...... Perhaps they were a wedding present when they were married in 1945?... Things that were thought "lost".... are suddenly... "found"..... I know these paintings will mean more to him and his wife than anything he's done over the last few decades. That's just the way life is.. We lose things. Sometimes we find them and are overjoyed...sometimes they are lost forever and we mourn their loss. In this case, interestingly, they didn't even know they had "lost" something....something of sentimental value. Well... now they do. It's a story with a happy ending. Their own daughter is an artist also....and she will inherit something that her dad painted, even before she was born..... Jesus said that "people" are like that. That HE came to seek and save the "lost"... (That would be us)..... Most people don't even realize that they're lost. That God has lost something of value that HE would love to have back......us. And, through Christ, He has provided the opportunity to get us back...to "redeem" us. That makes all of us valuable....whether we acknowledge it or not.....2011/07/lost-and-found.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-8940383758549806265Sun, 10 Jul 2011 18:29:00 +00002011-07-10T12:12:14.373-07:00deathfamous last wordsfamous peopleResurrectionFamous Last WordsI have come to believe that when a person is dying, the thing that is foremost on their mind is (usually) the subject which interests them most in life. For most people I think, if they had the time to chose their last words it would be something like, "I love you".... or "tell my wife/kids /parents.... that I love them." Recently I heard about the famous last words of P.T. Barnum (of Barnum And Bailey Circus fame), who was mostly interested in making money: "How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?"...... Those were his last words before he was ushered off into eternity. It got me to thinking about other folks we might all have heard of and how they chose to utter their final thoughts in this world. Here are a few I found interesting... "Is everybody happy? I want everyone to be happy? I know I'm happy". (Ethel Barrymore, actress) June 18, 1959...... "Go away! I'm alright." (H.G. Wells, famous author 1946 "I have a terrific headache." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, President 1945 "I've had 18 straight whiskies. I think that's the record." Dylan Thomas, poet 1953 "Why not. Yeah." (Timothy Leary, famous for his psychedelic drug use) 1996 "Let's cool it, brothers" (Malcolm X, right before he was assassinated)....1966 "Nothing matters. Nothing matters." (Louis B. Mayer, film producer)...1957 "I've never felt better!" (Douglas Fairbanks Sr. actor)...1939 "I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it." (Errol Flynn, actor...1959 "Yes, it's tough. But not as tough as doing comedy." ( Ed Gwenn, actor)...1959 "That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted." (Lou Costello, comedian)...1959 "My God, what happened?".... (Princess Diana)...1997 "I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis." (Humphrey Bogart, actor).. 1957 "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do!" (Oscar Wilde, writer)... 1900 "Damn it!. Don't you dare ask God to help me." (Joan Crawford, actress)...1977 (One of my personal favorites)..."They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist....."... (General John Sedgwick, Union Army General... 1864 (during the Civil War)... "I'm not the least afraid to die." (Charles Darwin)....1882 "All my posessions for a moment of time." (Queen Elizabeth The First)...1603 "Do you hear the rain? Do you hear the rain?" (Jessica Dubroff, seven-year-old pilot, minutes before her plane crashed)...1996 "I'm about to...or I am going to...die. Either exprssion is correct. (Dominique Bouhours, French Grammarian)...1855 "Father, into Thy hands I commend my spirit."... (Jesus Christ, Savior and Redeemer, Jewish Messiah) Three days later resurrected....still living.... 2011....and counting....2011/07/famous-last-words.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-6613633132423411250Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:49:00 +00002011-06-12T18:20:26.297-07:00DONE!There is an older gentleman in our church who wears a lapel pin with simply the word "DONE" on it. Webster's definition of the word "done" is: Quite finished and relegated to the past. To have done with, to put an end to, to have finished with. One of the great satisfactions in life is to have a task completed, especially it's completed in a way that makes you proud of the accomplishment. It seems we humans are always "doing". We always have a list of things we want to get done. The same is true of how we think about things in the Spiritual realm, especially in our service to our Creator. If we are sensitive to our relationship to God we are constantly making promiese to ourselves and to "Him" that we are "going to DO better." Perhaps that means we're going to try to be kinder to our fellow man, more loving to our family, more active in our Church, Synagogue, Mosque, etc. I think all of us would agree that there is always room for improvement, that we could always do things better than we are doing at the present time. Did you ever consider that when Jesus lived His life here among us that He had a task to accomplish also? Even though the Bible records that he spent the last three years of His life teaching about the things of God and healing the sick, even raising the dead back to life, the main message of the Gospels is that Jesus' primary task , or objective, was to... "die." A lot of people will tell you that the death of Jesus Christ on a Roman Cross was one of history's greatest mistakes, one of life's greatest tragedies. The Bible, and Jesus Himself, would disagree with that conclusion. Jesus said, "I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him (God the Father) who sent me. And this is the will of Him who sent Me. That everyone who looks to the Son of God and believes in Him shall have eternal life." (John 6:39-40)... He also said, concerning the time immediately proceeding His death on the cross, "What shall I say? Father, save Me from this hour? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour." (John 12:27).... You see, Jesus' primary purpose on earth was to die. The Bible teaches that the death of Jesus was of utmost significance because, through His death, Jesus was paying the penalty (punishment) for all the sins you and I have ever committed in our lives. He died in our place so that the justice of God could be accomplished and that by simply believing in what he did for us, we could be saved from facing judgment for our sins. Jesus was able to do this because He was uniquely God in human flesh. HE was (is) the Creator, Who died on behalf of His creation (you and I). Jesus said an interesting thing as He was dying on the cross. He said, "It is finished." What was finished?.... The sacrifice for our sins. He had paid the price for our sins once and for all. He had DONE it all on the cross...and then confirmed it three days later when he arose from the dead. What do we have to "DO" to be in a right relationship with God? Simply believe what Jesus has already done and accept it by faith on our behalf. The Bible says, "It is by GRACE you have been saved, through FAITH, (believing what Jesus has already done),... it is the GIFT of God, not by "works"... (Ephesians 2:8-9).... The elderly gentleman in our church realized that he had found something very profound in believing the good news of the Gospel, ... and it could be summed up in the one little word "DONE". It is a profound message....and a life-changer....2011/06/done.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-5919361421817597665Sun, 05 Jun 2011 21:09:00 +00002011-06-05T18:44:29.769-07:00HonestyOne of my favorite Geico commercials is the one where "honest" Abe Lincoln's wife asks him this question: "Does this dress make me look fat?"... And Abe, not wanting to lie, says, hesitatingly... "Maybe just a little". And his wife gets real mad and storms off.... (Actually my FAVORITE Geico commercial is the one where the woodchucks are throwing chunks of wood into a creek and the farmer pulls up on his tractor and says, .. "YOU DANG WOODCHUCKS QUITE CHUCKING MY WOOD!").... That one's a hoot.... Anyway, Abe Lincoln was known as "Honest Abe"..... Not sure why exactly, but it's not a bad thing to be thought of, ....being honest. A couple weeks ago a gas-station owner lost 20,000 dollars in one day. There was some sort of mechanical malfunction which didn't allow the pump to tally up the actual price of gas that was being pumped. Instead of registering 3.75 a gallon, when folks filled their cars up, it registered something like 1.75 a gallon, thereby saving each customer about 60 bucks. The amazing thing is that this went on all day long without one customer going in and saying, "Hey, your pump is messed up. It's giving the wrong price!".... It was at least 7 hours before the station owner realized what was going on and was able to realize he was having one of his busiest days ever. 1....2....3...4...5...6....7..... hours... What were all these people thinking? They were thinking: "I gotta call my wife/cousin/brother/mother/sister-in-law/boss/babysitter/baby sitter's cousin twice removed/...and get them down here to get in on some of this!".... I'm sure there were a few who filled their tanks and said: "Thank You JEEEZUS!...I just KNEW God wanted to bless me today!" (And all the while Jesus is chasing down the street after them saying: "WAIT!... Come back!... That wasn't from ME!... The guy's gas pumps are broken!".....WAIT...COME...baaaacccckkkk!) Honesty. It seems to be sorely lacking today as our society collapses into a "me" oriented society. When that happens we fail miserably to watch out for one another.... to be our "brother's keeper" as the Bible states we should be. It's an easy place to slide into for some of us. I've been just as guilty as anyone in trying to justify my actions. Honesty isn't easy. Sometimes we just do dumb things and we want to cover our tracks by being evasive. "Is that YOUR Twitter picture, congressman Weiner?".... or..."Mr. President,...Did you have sex with that Lewinsky woman?"... These would appear to be questions with a simple "yes" or "no" answer....don't you think? Every once in awhile we hear stories about folks who go out of their way to return something that doesn't belong to them. A mistake had been made in their favor or they found a bunch of cash lying by the side of the road and turned it in to authorities. Stories like this. We admire those folks for their honesty, and,... somewhere down in our heart of hearts, we really DO want to be like them. I think Jesus said it best when he said the second greatest commandment was to "Do unto others what you would have them do unto you". (Actually, it was "Love your neighbor as you love yourself", which is basically the same thing)..... I'm sure the gas station owner would have appreciated an honest person coming along sometime during those long 7 hours when he was being, literally,... robbed. So...if my (or your) wife one day asks you the question: "Does this dress make me look fat"?...You should do the right and proper thing...which, in that case, would be.... lie like crazy and say..... NO!.... But...aside from that... we should strive to treat others the way we would want to be treated. It's a pretty good rule to try our best to live by. Hope you all have a great week. I mean that. .....I really do.... honestly....2011/06/honesty.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-648544288299135348Mon, 16 May 2011 02:15:00 +00002011-05-15T19:56:35.058-07:00You're Gonna Miss ThisShe was starin' out the window of their SUV Complain'in saying "I can't wait to turn 18" She said, "I'll make my own money and I'll make my own rules." Momma put the car in park out there in front of the school And she kissed her head and said, "I was just like you" (chorus); You're gonna miss this You're gonna want this back You're gonna wish these days Hadn't gone by so fast These are some good times So take a good look around You may not know it now But you're gonna miss this Before she knows it she's a brand-new bride In a one bedroom apartment, and her daddy stops by He tells her it's a nice place, she says "It'll do for now" Then she talks about babies and buying a house Daddy shakes he head and and says, "baby just slow down" (repeat chorus) Five years later there's a plumber working on the water heater Dogs barking, phones ringing, one kid crying, the other one screamin' And she keeps apologizin' He says, "They don't bother me" I've got two kids of my own One's twenty-six, one's thirty-three Huh,...it's hard to believe But you're gonna miss this.... (from "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins) <div align="left">Peter was a boy who was strong and able, yet sadly flawed by an attitude of impatience. Always dissatisfied with his present condition, Peter spends his life daydreaming about the future.</div> <div align="left">One day while wandering in the forest, Peter meets a strange old woman who gives him a most tantalizing opportunity...the chance to skip the dull, mundane moments of life. She hands Pater a silver ball from which a tiny gold thread protrudes. "This is your life thread", she explains. "Do not touch it and time will pass normally. But if you wish time to pass more quickly, you only have to pull the thread a little way and an hour will pass like a second. But I warn you, once the thread has been pulled out, it cannot be pushed back in again."</div> <div align="left">This magical thread seems the answer to all of Peter's problems. It is just what he has always wanted. He takes the ball and runs home.</div> <div align="left">The following day in school Peter has his first opportunity to put the silver ball to use. The lesson is dragging and the teacher scolds Peter for not concentrating. Peter fingers the silver ball and gives the thread a slight tug. Suddenly the teacher dismisses the class, and Peter is free to leave school. He is overjoyed!. How easy his life will now be. From this moment, Peter begins to pull the thread a little every day.</div> <div align="left">But soon Peter begins to use the magic thread to rush through larger portions of life. Why waste time pulling the thread just a little every day when he cal pull it hard and complete school altogether? He does so and finds himself out of school and apprenticed in a trade. Peter uses the same technique to rush through his engagement to his sweetheart. He cannot bear to wait months to marry her, so he uses the gold thread to hasten the arrival of his wedding day.</div> <div align="left">Peter continues this pattern throughout his life. When hard, trying times come, he escapes them with his magic thread. When the baby cries at night, when he faces financial struggles, when he wishes his own children to be launched in careers of their own. Peter pulls the magic thread and bypasses the discomfort of the moment.</div> <div align="left">But, sadly, when he comes to the end of his life, Peter realizes the emptiness of such an existence. By allowing impatience and discontentment to rule him, Peter has robbed himself of life's richest moments and memories. With only the grave to look forward to, he deeply regrets ever having used the magic thread.</div> <div align="left"></div> <div align="left">The moral to the story?..... Don't be so quick to want to rush through life. Whether the times are tough and disappointments arise, or whether the times are exciting and exhilarating.... it's all just a part of the journey...and the journey is the gift we have in this life here on earth. Take it all in,....you might just miss something you'll regret....</div>2011/05/youre-gonna-miss-this.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-5161700985058418933Thu, 05 May 2011 19:41:00 +00002011-05-08T07:58:27.925-07:00A Great Evil... Part 2Last week I talked about the Ten Boom family. A family who suffered greatly during the Nazi regime for their stand against the evils of Nazi-ism and German Socialism. After World War 2 many of the German S.S. high command (military leadership) went into hiding. They were harbored by many nations. Most thought that they had escaped the world's wrath against them for their atrocities. Most were also hunted down and captured. War crimes trials were held in Nuremberg. Adolf Eichmann, one of Hitler's top henchmen, was allowed to speak and defend his actions. His words: " I have broken no laws. I was simply following the laws of war and my flag." Eichmann was correct. German "law", in 1935, had deprived the Jewish people of German citizenship. There were also laws forbidding them to marry or have sexual relationship with anyone of the Aryan, "Germanic" Race. There were thirteen administrative regulations against the Jews that would later outlaw them completely, and, eventually, through intense propaganda, they were given the status of "non-human". With Hitler's ability to make arbitrary "laws", there was no opposition, or at least, no opposition without the threat of severe punishment or death. Even pastors could be arrested for treason for resisting the new "laws" of the new German Socialist Government. Since they were "breaking the law" by resisting, they had no recourse. It's hard, almost impossible, in our day, to imagine that a law could actually be imposed which would strip a person of his or her status of being "human". It's unfathomable, isn't it? If such a law were passed, then the taking of a human life could be easily justified and rationalized. If it's resisted, then it must be a flaw on the part of the person who is not willing to validate the law of the land. They must be "subversive" in some way. If it's "legal", then it must be correct. Case closed. At least that's the way the Nazi Party saw it. That's the way the German citizen accepted it without much opposition. (There were other, economic reasons also). A pastor of a German church tells the story that, on Sunday, when the church would gather for worship, at a particular time, every Sunday, they would hear a train go by the back of their church during the service. They could hear the cries of the Jewish people as the train passed. It was a horrific sound. So, what did they do? At that time, every Sunday, when they knew the train was to pass by, they made that time their "hymn singing" time. They would all sing just as loud as they could as the train passed by. That way they couldn't hear the cries of those "non-humans" barreling down the tracks towards Auschwitz.... and the ovens. It worked. They didn't hear them at all after that. There's a saying, "If you want to see a Nation's God, then look at that Nation's Laws." Eichmann's argument, although valid, succumbed to the decision of the War Crimes Tribunal. They weren't going to argue that what they Nazis did were "illegal" according to the laws of Germany. They were going to insist that there was a "higher" law in which to ultimately yield. There was a natural law that superseded the arbitrary laws of any particular nation. Although they couldn't exactly explain it, they knew that, just because something was "legal", it didn't make it "moral", and the hideous nature of the crimes stood in start contrast to human decency and sensitivity.... and morals. Anyway, that's my rambling for this week. What does it all mean? You decide.... Only as individuals can we decide when to resist and when to sing louder....2011/05/great-evil-part-2.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-3798094947723097925Fri, 29 Apr 2011 01:44:00 +00002011-05-01T15:49:10.448-07:00Adolf HitlerAntiseminismevilJewsNaziA Great EvilIn the introduction to Corrie Ten Boom's amazing book, "The Hiding Place" she writes a snippet about her brother, Willem. He was a seminary student in Germany. In the year 1927 he wrote his doctoral thesis. In it he said, "A terrible evil is taking root in the land....seeds are being planted of a contempt for human life such as the world had never seen. The few who read his paper had laughed..... Few people could foresee the rise of Adolf Hitler and The Third Reich...and the systematic genocide of 6 million European Jews. It was unthinkable. Several years later Corrie Ten Boom, her father and her sister were rounded-up, placed in railroad cattle-cars and shipped off to Ravensbruck Concentration Camp, where Corrie watched thousands die of malnutrition, the firing squad, or placed in ovens. She witnessed her sister die of malnutrition. She only learned of her father's death after she was released, years later. Corrie Ten Boom and the Ten Boom family weren't Jewish. They were Dutch. They watched helplessly as Nazi troops stormed into their quaint village in Holland in 1938. They had many friends, neighbors and business acquaintances who were Jews. One of their Jewish neighbors was, like the Ten Booms, a clock-maker. One day he didn't open his business. They thought he was ill. The next day he didn't open his business,... or the next. He simply "disappeared".... They started noticing people on the street wearing yellow stars stitched to their clothing. It was the Star of David, with the word, "Juden" (the German word for "Jew") splashed across it. If you were Jewish you were required to wear it. If you didn't, then you were executed on the spot. The Ten Booms lived in a large house that was actually two houses connected to each other. A house with a lot of strange twists and turns and mis-shapen rooms... an architectural nightmare. They were approached by a Jewish friend. Would they be willing to hide Jews? There were several who knew they were next to be rounded-up by the S.S. Would they be willing? There were risks. They didn't hesitate. They said, "yes", of course, these are God's People. We'll do whatever we can. Shortly they were visited by a nice older gentleman who went through their house and picked out a special "hiding place",... a small, narrow space behind Corrie's bedroom wall. It was perfect. He spent the next few days "remodeling" Corrie's room and turning it into a safe place to hide the Jews. Several came. There was room for approximately ten, if they didn't mind being stuffed like sardines while the Nazi soldiers tried their best to ferret them out. The never could find....The Hiding Place. But Corrie and her family members were identified as being those who were sympathetic to Jewish people. The Germans "knew" she and her family were hiding Jews,...whether they could be found or not. So.... that's how Corrie Ten Boom and her sister, Betsie, and their elderly father found themselves arrested and imprisoned. They were physically beaten...but they never gave up their friends, the Jews. They were well aware of the evil that had overtaken their nation...the evil, as Willem had said years earlier,....which was a contempt for human life unlike the world had ever seen. It's called "Antisemitism". It's defined as a hatred towards a particular people group based on nationality or religion. You may be asking yourself..... "Why is Bob writing about something like this?".... I had just completed reading this book, "The Hiding Place". I read it probably 25 years ago and it had made a lasting impression on my mind. Twenty-five years ago..... Then, I just happen to turn on the television and I saw this video that came out just a few days ago. It was a video from Germany. An Islamic cleric was giving a hate-filled speech and a rant against Israel and "The Jews". The link to the video that was placed on Youtube is on my original email to you. A new Corrie Ten Boom perhaps? We should all ask ourselves.... "Could I do this?".... "Would I be brave enough to stand up to the hate and violence of evil?".... "Could I, at least, "try" to keep history from repeating itself?" There's an old saying: "Those who won't learn from history are bound to repeat it". That saying is so true,...and, I believe, especially relevant for the days in which we live. "When the Nazis came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist. When they locked up the social democrats, I remained silent: I was not a social democrat. When they came for the trade unionists, I remained silent: I was not a trade unionist. When they came for the Jews, I remained silent; I was not a Jew. When they came for me.... there was no one left to speak out."...... Martin Niemoller 2011/04/great-evil.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-2739088645922498870Fri, 22 Apr 2011 21:01:00 +00002011-04-22T15:06:04.684-07:00EasterJesus ChristThe CrossImagine....EasterImagine there's no heaven It's easy if you try No sky above us Below us only sky Imagine all the people Living for today.... The stereo resounded with the latest album from ex-Beatle, John Lennon. Smoke from marijuana and hashish filled the room. A young man sits quietly to one side of the room....thinking...contemplating.... his last day(s) on earth. Suicide is an awful thought,...but sometimes one feels painted into a corner where there is no escape... Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too... How did he get to this place in life? ... and at such a young age. Everything seems against him. Life sucks. Friends?.... What friends?... Other people who like to drink, get stoned, listen to music? But what do they say behind his back?... loser....screw-up..... The kid who has no future, ... no hope.... In the corner a television is on. The volume is muted. It's Easter Weekend and on this Friday a Passion Play is being broadcast. A man carries his cross up a lonely hill. Bruised and battered and bloody, this unrecognizable figure of a man. Soldiers accompany him. They lay him down on this rough-cut timber. A hammer is lifted.....nails are driven.... You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll come join us And the world will live as one The young man is transfixed.... watching.... The nails. They are driven mercilessly through the man's wrists and through his feet. Agonizing. Time seems to stop. The cross is lifted into the air where the man struggles with every breath. Now, it's just the young man...and the scene before him. The cross,...the execution... the...dying... The young man hears a still, small voice. It seems to come from within him, but he's not sure. The voice speaks: "I did this for you." I have come for YOU tonight!... Trust in Me and I will deliver you from death and give you life." The young man looks around the room at his "friends". They're all stoned, having a grand time. The music plays loudly. But,.... what is real? Is this "real"?... Or,... is Jesus Christ "real"?.... What have I been missing all these years?... Sure, he knows about Jesus. But,... he's never been broken before so he's never really found the need. What did he ever have to be saved from?... But.... What if it is true?... What if Jesus Christ really did live and die... and rise from the dead?... For him?.... What if God really loves him that much?.... No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world... The young man breaks down into tears. Locks himself in the bathroom,...sobbing. His friends are knocking on the door? "What's wrong?"... "What are you doing in there"?... Finally, the young man composes himself. Out of the bathroom,... out of the house,... across the yard, ...into his car... Starts it up. Where is he going? He doesn't know.... just away from there.... hopefully, away from this whole world. But where is God? Where IS God? Where IS Jesus?.... "Lord, I need You".... answer me." A familiar face peers at him through the driver's window. "Where are you going?" It's someone from the party. The only answer?...." To find Jesus." "Jesus!".... Are you crazy?".... There's no Jesus. I know. I've been there... done that. There's nothing there.".... "There's nothing there." The young man stammers. "O.K... But, I have to find out for myself.... goodbye.".... He starts the car and drives away.... for the last time. You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one.... The search is on. The heart is stirred. A Greater Love is in pursuit... or, is it "being" pursued?.... Sometimes it's hard to tell who is doing the seeking. The young man finds himself in a small bible study a few days later, invited by an old friend from his past. A "Jesus Freak"... who now, suddenly, doesn't seems so weird after all. It's an interesting bible study...but, the young man is anxious. Do these people know Jesus? Do they know how to find Him? Do they have any idea how important it is that this young man find Him?.... His very life is at stake. The study ends. The leader of the bible study has a question. "Is there anyone here who wants to know Jesus Christ?.... Who wants to follow Him? The young man's hand shoots straight up into the air! Is this guy for real? What is he saying? Is Jesus in the back room somewhere?.... Confusion. But, the young man is all in. Whatever it is that he has to do to find salvation, he's there. Say a prayer. Did a hole and jump in. Crawl through barbed-wire? Run through a fire?.... Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes..... It takes a prayer. And a heart that is hungry and a soul that is broken and needy. The young man finds himself there again,...at the foot of the cross... looking up into the face of love.... and forgiveness.... and peace... and joy... and LIFE. Easter, ... 1972. The Easter that changed my life...forever.... I pray that this Easter finds you at the foot of the cross. And I pray that your life is changed,... as mine was... all those years ago. Newness of life. I've never been the same since. My "old friends" can testify to that..... I never looked back..... to that "old" life. There's nothing there. ... "He is risen"! "He is risen...indeed...."2011/04/imagineeaster.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-6450824376702997569Sun, 03 Apr 2011 20:34:00 +00002011-04-04T05:54:11.327-07:00AngerDepressionIraq WarKoreaPTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder emotional distressVietnam WarWorld War 2P.T.S.D. Part twoThanks to those who responded to my last posting about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Evidently it had meaning to a few of my readers... To elaborate on major symptoms mentioned in previous post. Intrusive thoughts and flashbacks... Flashbacks are the reliving of the traumatic experience, just as if you were back there again. This can be brought on (triggered by): certain sudden explosions, helicopters or motorized heavy equipment, the smell of human waste, decay or blood, diesel or jet fuel, dirty canvass, driving down a dusty or sandy road (especially if you've been in a war zone)...people screaming, crowds, hot, dry days...etc. Only you know what your trigger might be. Isolation and avoidance... You may subconsciously be trying to avoid activities, places or people...things which "might" be a trigger to arouse bad memories. The desire to become a hermit by leaving all behind only takes you further away from the objective to re-integrate into normal social situations. In this case it might be necessary to limit your exposure to people and events and try to use good judgment of when to avoid and when to engage those around you. Emotional numbing... Distancing oneself from a topic of conversation, a situation, person or potential trigger which reminds you of a traumatic event. The fear of losing control emotionally, which causes you to deal in negative, aggressive way. This is why war veterans (or the victims of any trauma) have a hard time talking about their experiences. It brings back too many bad memories, which they believe, should be avoided. Depression... Overwhelming sadness and fear that the feelings your experiencing will never get better. A depressed person can feel helpless, hopeless and unworthy of being loved. A big warning sign is sleeping to excess. This is a way of escape for a lot of people, unless sleeping brings with it nightmares, which is often the case. If that is the case, the person who is depressed often "self-medicates" by excessive drinking or drug use. Depression can be totally overwhelming and anyone experiencing symptoms of depression should be encourage to reach out and get help. Seek out help...find something, anything...to look forward to. Learn to practice self-care. Get a time-consuming hobby. Learn a new skill, spend time with an animal friend, get some good, old-fashioned exercise, find a trusted friend or family member you enjoy being with. Get yourself on a schedule, forcing you to get up, take a shower, get motivated, even if it's just a small thing...set some goals... Anger.... You are angry that you have had to experience what you have experienced. Anger reflects a variety of feelings such as betrayal, lack of trust, frustration, sadness and guilt. Anger is a way of "acting out" frustration, leaving you and those around you stunned and afraid. Often this anger is taken out on loved-ones and can end up in domestic violence. Realize that at the bottom of your anger and frustration is the fact that most of those around you don't understand the depth of the trauma and have no ideal, or reality, as to what you have experienced. Sometimes this anger is the reason for "road rage", a form of acting out your aggression. I talked a bit about this in my last blog. The soldier coming home from Iraq who is used to driving in a convoy that is always hyper vigilant when it comes to driving in traffic. Being cut-off, or rear-ended by another car can be an explosive trigger that can lead to an episode of road rage. Some suggestions that have worked for other veterans are: Physical exercise that is appropriate for your physical limitations Reduction of caffeine, alcohol or drug use Relaxation/study/meditation Well-balanced diet and getting appropriate amount of rest If these are things you can't do on your own or with the help of a close friend or relative, it is critical that you get professional help in this area. Contact the Veterans Administration and they can get you the right help to begin dealing with these issues. We will continue to look at more symptoms of P.T.S.D. next week. As I mentioned before, for war veterans, a great resource is the book, "Down Range...To Iraq and Back" by Bridget C. Cantrell and Chuck Dean. Even though the book deals with the Iraq War, it is relevant to the veterans of any war or military action. Also, a good resource is a video series called "The War Within", ...contact Day of Discovery, P.O. Box 2222, Grand Rapids, MI 49501-2222 or on the web at: <a href=";2011/04/ptsd-part-two.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (12 Steps and A Winding Road)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2191949960520153692.post-1281319799594228799Sun, 27 Mar 2011 20:56:00 +00002011-03-28T06:08:29.612-07:00PTSD Post Traumatic Stress Disorder emotional distressP.T.S.D.Most of us don't have an anxiety attack when we we're driving and see a pop can or a dead animal by the side of the road. Most of us don't have the impulse to drive back and forth across lanes of traffic when we're going under a bridge. You might if you've served military duty in Iraq or Afghanistan and wached in horror as one of the vehicles in your convoy was exploded by and I.E.D. (Improvised Explosive Device).... or had someone try to drop a grenade on your vehicle when you were driving under a bridge. Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Back before there was a proper clinical diagnosis, this post-war phenomenon was simply known as "Battle Fatigue", or "Shell Shock". Soldiers from all nations have suffered from PTSD after confronting the mayhem of war. PTSD occurs when any person, military or not, has been confronted with a traumatic event which involved actual or threatened death or serious physical injury to themselves or others. This is a point in their lives when they responded with intense fear, horror or helplessness. The most recent primary diagnostic criteria for PTSD falls into three groups and are summarized as follows: * Re-experiencing the trauma through nightmares, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts. * Numbing and avoidance of reminders of the trauma. (Avoidance of situations, thoughts and feelings, etc.) * Persistent increased arousal (sleep difficulties, irritability, anger outbursts, startled responses, etc.) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can happen to anyone, even those not in a war zone. Examples might include, rape, a mugging, child abuse, etc. (Consider what the people of Japan are now enduring with the tsunami and the earthquake and nuclear plants).... Any "event" that leaves lasting scars on the memory. One of the men in our church group who has served three terms in Iraq (one as a civilian, still working for the army as a private contractor), recently told us of his own unique challenges since coming home and striving to return to a "normal" life. One of the symptoms he described since coming back from the war is his "hyper-alertness"... always on-guard, watch the people and his surroundings....always looking for the "attack" that could happen at any time. He shared with us that one time, his car was re-ended in an accident. It brought back a flashback of the convoy he was in while Iraq and how the enemy sought to "block in their vehicle" so that they were helpless to escape a fire-fight. Suddenly, just with the impact, as small as it was, to the rear of his vehicle, he found himself back in Iraq, getting ready to fight for his life. Below are the major symptoms of someone suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some of them may reveal clues that you, or a loved-one, might be dealing with the results of PTSD. *Depression *Cynicism and mis-trust of government and authority *Anger *Alienation *Sleep disturbances *Poor Concentration *Tendency to react under stress with survival tactics *Psychic or emotional numbing *Negative self-image *Memory impairment *Emotional constriction *Hypersensitivity to justice *Loss of interest in work and activities *Problems with intimate relationships *Survivor guilt *Difficulty with authority figures *Hyper-alertness, Hyper-arousal *Avoidance of activities that arouse memories of trauma in war zone *Emotional distance from children, wife and others *Self-deceiving and self-punishing patterns of behavior, such as an inability to talk about war experiences, fear of losing others, and a tendency to fits of rage. *Suicidal feelings and thoughts *Flashbacks to dangers and combat *Fantasies of retaliation and destruction *High-risk employment and/or recreation Just by acknowledging some of the trait

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