tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3754359048321763509Wed, 26 Aug 2026 03:44:36 +000028 Dates LaterA survivor's chronicle of the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is online dating. Updated until I've done 28 online dates, find true love, or get myself killed.noreply@blogger.com (Unknown)Blogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3754359048321763509.post-554060462349098860Thu, 28 Nov 2013 13:47:00 +00002013-11-28T10:40:02.523-08:00Quite literally 28 Dates Later - The end of the blog<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">In case you hadn't realised, this blog is finished (awwww). For six months, January - June 2013, I went on 28 Dates from 28 different dating sites, after my first online date ended with an infected human bite wound.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">500,000 unique readers will be aware of how it all turns out - </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;">of the three options at the top, I thought the most likely end was "get myself killed" at times -</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; line-height: 24px;"> but just in case you've just stumbled upon it, here's links to each every post, in chronological order:</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">1: The Biter</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...my first online date, <a href=" which I meet a girl who almost bit my finger off</a> - from OKCupid.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">2: The Girl with the Knives</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which I recount my previous worst ever date, <a href=" involved a wall of sharp knives.</a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">3: The Adulteress</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which I <a href=" having an affair</a> - from Ashley Madison.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">4: The Lizard Loving Nerd</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which I <a href=" a fiscally prudent herpetologist</a> - from Geek2Geek</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">5: The Republican Warrior Princess</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" take romantic inspiration from Ayn Rand</a>, and meet a "gun loving, god fearing Republican" - from The Atlas Sphere</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">6: The #Twittercrush Part one & Part two</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" meet up with someone I had a crush on through twitter</a>, and <a href=" id="goog_1100477024"></span>make her charity cupcakes<span id="goog_1100477025"></span></a>. - From Twitter/52 First Dates</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">7: The Farmer</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which I meet a <a href=" farmer and get my first proper kiss</a> of the project - from Muddy Matches.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">8: The Fan of the Blog</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which I <a href=" a fan of the blog and on this occasion</a>, I *am* the bad date.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">9: The Naval Officer</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which I am<a href="; "sexted" by an officer and a gentlewoman</a> and we discuss our favourite admiral. From Uniform Dating.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">10: Three Jewish ladies</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" discover I am a hot piece of beef</a> on J-Date.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">11: The Cougar</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" date an older woman</a>. From Cougar Dating.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">12: The Guardian-reading Tory</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" meet the only other socially liberal but economically conservative person</a> known to man - from Guardian Soulmates.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">13: The Blandest Date</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" meet a woman I have nothing in common with</a> - from OKC Crazy Blind Date.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">14: The Sleazy Hookup</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" hookup with a friend</a> - from Bang with Friends</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">The half-time show: <a href=" midway through maudlin reflection on why I was single after 14 Dates.</a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">15: The Tabloid Date Blogger</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" meet another Date Blogger and get reviewed</a> - from Single, bored and Geeky about films.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">16: The Psychic</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" date a woman with psychic powers</a>. Or so she claimed! - from Beyond Psychic dating</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">17: Two Fakers & a Cambridge Undergraduate</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" don't date either a Czech pornstar or a High-flying lawyer, and end up taking out a Cambridge undergrad instead</a>. - from Plenty of Fish</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">18: The Fundamentalist Christian & the Sex Devils</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" date a Christian, who put the "Mental" into "Fundamentalist"</a> - from Missionary Dating</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">19: The London Cosplay Otaku</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" date a lovely lady who was into dressing up</a>. - from Lovestruck</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">20: The New York Millionaire</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in <a href=" I am a gold-digger</a>. from MillionaireDating</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">21: The Second Injury</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" can't tell you much about the date apart from the fact I received an agonising sex injury on it</a>.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">22: The Hometown show</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which<a href="; I try online dating in my small seaside hometown - from Match.com</a></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">23: Pet Dating with my Hedgehog</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" take my pet Hedgehog on a date with me</a> - from Pet Dating</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">24: The Data-Driven Dater</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" try to date arithmetically, and meet a woman who dates by Spreadsheet</a> - from E-harmony</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">25: Speed Dating with the Pickup Artist</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" go to a Scientific speed dating event and am lectured by a strange pickup artist</a> - from Dating Science London</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">26: My Single Friend and the Finnish Superwoman</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" friend Janine tries to pair me off with a Finnish lady-adonis</a> - from MySingleFriend</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">27: The Video Gamer and the Zombies</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" fall off a barn and my date steals my sniper rifle from my cooling corpse</a> - from LFGDating</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">28: The Doctor and the Cliffhanger</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which<a href="; I meet a lovely doctor in Chelsea Physic garden, and reject her by Text message!</a> - from Doing Something</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">29: The Blind Date </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which<a href="; I go dating in a National Newspaper column</a> - from Guardian Blind Date</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">30: The Happy ending and the Girlfriend</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;"><br /></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">...in which <a href=" discover who I ended up in Love with</a> (we're still together after six months, so it all seems to be working out). </span></span>2013/11/quite-literally-28-dates-later-end-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Unknown)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3754359048321763509.post-5415618767920445850Thu, 28 Nov 2013 13:17:00 +00002013-11-28T05:49:49.037-08:00Date 29: The Girlfriend and the Happy ending<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But…but…what about the <a href=";text message to the Doctor</a> explaining you were seeing someone?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, alright, I suppose I should tell you what happened. In between Date 24 and Date 25, I got a message through OK Cupid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Now, this isn’t unusual – I haven’t actually closed my account on any of the sites I’ve joined, including ones I’ve never got dates through – I’m still holding out for a sexy baroness from <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">nobility dating site Godmother.com</a> or an amazing Indian wedding from arranged marriage site <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Shaadi.com</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, this message, unlike lots of others I’ve received (I’ve got 16 sitting unread in my J-Date.com mailbox alone) piqued my interest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It read:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“<i>So – I have got worried that you might think I’m stalking you and so thought I should drop you a note reassuring you that I’m not.”</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, not a stalker. A good start.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“I appreciate the paradox in sending someone a message to confirm that I’m not harassing them but I was telling a friend about your blog (recommending if that gives me any credit). Once she’d stopped laughing we decided to see if we could find your dating profiles and it was much easier than we’d expected, given you’ve linked to the blog in them. Once we’d got that far it seemed rude not to read them... and then I realised I’d show up as having checked you out. A lot.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I presented the conundrum of ‘contact or not contact’ to my office mate. Her response was “Well we haven’t got anything else weird to do today…”. Obviously not reporting me to the police would be appreciated – it would mess up my career quite a bit.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As an aside – by our ‘weird’ task of the day she is equating you with various things I have made her do recently - including going to a Nate Silver talk in a parliamentary committee room and learning ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ in Spanish. She was wrong. This is clearly weirder.”</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By the time we actually got around to meeting, I’d done date 25 and date 26. To cut a long story short, we met up for drinks on the Southbank, which led to a.) me deciding she wasn’t a crazy stalker and b.) a lovely kiss in the sunshine. That led to trips to the Globe theatre, meals out, the cinema, picnics, her meeting my friends, me meeting her friends, us deciding we were a couple, and indeed, last week, her meeting my mum. Yes, it’s proper serious and everything.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We’ve been dating for almost three months - which may explain the slow rate of progress on the blog. I think by now, as <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Nik Vincent-Abnett hoped</a>, I have taken the girl in question – the “winner” of the blog, if you like – on at least 28 Dates. Huzzah! A happy ending after all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, in conclusion, I met the woman I <span class="il" style="background-color: #ffffcc;">love</span> through online dating. If you’re single, give it a try – it worked for me…</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.) I reserve the right to do another post if there’s a book or a film or (whisper it) a wedding or anything of that sort.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This post originally appeared at the end of Date 28, but I've decided to separate it out.</i></div>
2013/11/date-29-girlfriend-and-happy-ending.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Unknown)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3754359048321763509.post-4951029966440467065Thu, 15 Aug 2013 16:12:00 +00002013-11-28T05:52:21.805-08:00Date 28: The Guardian, the Finale & the Girlfriend<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, at long last, it's the end of the blog.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've learned a great deal since I first set foot in the dating wasteland - for example, to stop girls *before* they <a href=" your finger</a> and exactly <a href=" the tensile strength of the human cock</a> is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For my last ever online date, and my last ever (1) post on this blog, I decided to do one of the dating experiences I've read about loads, and always wanted to do - <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Guardian Blind Date</a>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those of you who aren't familiar with how it works, four years ago, the Guardian started sending people on dates. Now, every week, one couple a week share their Blind Date story for the delectation of the Guardian’s readership every Saturday. At least two of their daters have got married:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's fun, vicariously reading what other people think of each other. The dates don't always go well. Some people obviously have a dreadful time – this one where he starts by complaining she was <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank" title="">"25 minutes late and didn't apologise"</a> and ends with <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank" title="">"I'd run out of things to say, so we walked to the tube in silence"</a> sounds grim.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As ever with online dating, some people are just pricks – check out Mister "I was hoping for Anne Hathaway, and she’s<a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank" title=""> not Anne Hathaway"</a>. I think the oddest one I’ve ever read is <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank" title="">"I got trapped in a courtyard, then he asked if I owned a corset and then I didn't know what to say when he suggested we 'call a spade a spade and leave it at tonight'."</a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The way you get to go on it is you send an email to <a href="mailto:blind.date@guardian.co.uk" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">blind.date@guardian.co.uk</a>, telling them a little bit about yourself. I’d always thought about going for it, but I suspected they’d have trouble finding a date for a Tory who writes for the Telegraph. Occasionally, being a right winger is useful – for example, if you turn up for jury service in a tweed jacket, with a copy of the Spectator under your arm, no defence barrister in their right mind will select you. On the other hand, it’s not ideal when trying to get picked for a thing in Britain’s best known left-leaning paper. I told them I was a TV producer who wrote a dating blog, and hoped they wouldn’t delve too deep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The (slight) subterfuge worked, and the Guardian’s in-house cupid got back to me quickly, and started setting up a date for me. Apparently, the reason I went forward so quickly is that the ratio of men to women applying is about 20 women for every man. So get writing, chaps.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once you’ve had a response, you wait, and then once they’ve picked a person they think you're suited to, they set up the restaurant, and then a photoshoot in the Guardian’s office in King’s Place. I was nervous – I felt sort of like Frodo sneaking into Mordor in the Lord of the Rings. To blend in, I wore sandals, and had some Quinoa in my bag. I figured if anyone stopped and ask me I could bluff a few lines like “Ooh, that David Cameron” etc etc.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just hoped I wouldn’t get caught out by a Great Escape “Güt Luck” style question and end accidentally blurting out something that marked me as the enemy. I probably should have worried more about the photograph. I’m one of those people who always looks hideous in pictures, no matter what I do. I used to say I’m not photogenic, but a cruel photographer friend once said to me, “Actually, being photogenic or not is a reflection of whether you actually look in real life as you do in your pictures – and I’m afraid you really do look like that when I point a camera at you”.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As it was, I rocked up, appeared in the pictures and managed to get out in one piece. The day of the date rolled around, and wearily, I got on the tube and went to meet the lady in question. <a href=" can read about how the date went here.</a> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, *I* actually quite liked her, and believed she was 25 when I met her, but it seems my friends ummm…felt differently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still stand by telling the “Spiderman jizzed on me on a nightbus” story, btw. It made sense in context, honestly! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For the record, the date was perfectly pleasant and she actually looks far better in real life. It's just a bad photo. But, alas, I fear she was as Zathras from Babylon 5 would say, </span><a href="; style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">“Not the one”.</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, there you, 28 dates from 28 different dating sites and still single. I’ve learned a huge amount while writing this blog; I’ve made mistakes but had a great time. In doing it I’ve become a fervent advocate for online dating and met at least a dozen women I know I’ll be friends with for years, had some great experiences – and the not-so great experiences make for good stories, at least.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE END...or is it...?<br /><br />If you want to know what happened next, jump to <a href=" Happy Ending</a> here.</span></div>
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2013/08/date-28-guardian-finale-girlfriend.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Unknown)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3754359048321763509.post-2509892903205289672Fri, 26 Jul 2013 07:53:00 +00002013-07-26T03:42:09.355-07:00Date 27: The Doctor, the Garden and the Cliffhanger<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">So, Date 27 - The Penultimate date. </span><br />
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Obviously, by this point, while I was hoping it would end up as the ultimate date, I wasn't holding out too much hope - it really is a barren wasteland. I was starting to worry that my Telegraph colleague Tim Stanley might be right, that there might be no woman in the world willing to <a href="; style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">date a man who still likes model soldiers in his thirties</a>. I mean, it's not like I'm addicted to them. I just like them, ok? They're not a problem. I could give them up any time. I just don't want to.</div>
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Ahem, trips to group therapy aside, I felt I wanted to maximise my chances, and this was my last shot at a mainstream dating website. I pored over lots of the remaining big sites, thinking to myself, "where am I going to find Ms. Right?" I was getting increasingly disenchanted with the whole process of online dating - as much as I like talking about how great I am, writing essays about how great I am more than twenty times was starting to get to me.</div>
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That said, one of the dating sites I've been looking forward to trying is called "Doing Something" - and while pretty mainstream, it's also fairly odd. It's sort of like Chat Roulette, but for dating. All you do is upload a picture of yourself, and a one line perfect first date. That's it. No essays, no pointless questionnaires, no existential crises while you try to figure out if a person who says they like both "staying in" and "going out" is just saying they enjoy "being alive"; usually those people love both "the city" and "the countryside", or as I like to think of it "most terrain". </div>
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That sort of contradictory profile is incredibly common - occasionally they hit brilliant heights of self-delusion - on Guardian Soulmates, I saw a woman who maintained she wanted a man who would judge her for what was inside, not her looks - as long as he was at least 6'2", because "I like to wear heels, and hate midgets". I'll be honest, I did judge her on the content of her character.</div>
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As opposed to other sites, Doing Something is refreshingly stripped down and free of pretence or artifice. I think it just acknowledges the fact most people don't look much beyond that all important profile picture, and a huge amount of what people write in dating profiles is self-important guff or lies designed to make you sound much better than you really are. </div>
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You spin through a bunch of dating ideas, and that (plus a picture) is all you get to judge them on. Of course, wri<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">ting a short description of what you think would be an ideal date is actually quite hard. While my experience thus far suggested "Couple of drinks in a pub, while we try to work out whether the other one is boring?", I sat and pondered a lovely summer evening date for quite a while. This was a harder challenge than it might at first seem.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Two close friends of mine - who are now in one of those lovely (vomit-inducing) relationships everyone is jealous of, met through the site. To quote the lady of the pair, <i>"<span style="line-height: 17px;">Steve had seen that I had looked at his profile so sent me an invitation to spin the wheel of date. I accepted, in spite of his hideous profile picture and the result was: eat breast milk ice cream."</span> </i> I wasn't quite exciting enough to go and drink human milk for the first time in 32 years, but I thought I could come up with something that was better than what 50% of people write, which is "Wine on the Southbank".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">While I rather like wine, and I'm quite a big fan of the Southbank, I thought I could come up with something more original to stand out. You don't want to sound too weird (Breastmilk?!) but equally, saying "I want to go to a pub" makes you sound like a frighteningly prosaic alcoholic if that's *all* they know about you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Lots of people suggest the cinema or theatre for a first date - I think because they think it makes them seem cultured. I'm not sure that's a good idea, as the whole point is to get to know someone; I'm not sure how much you learn by sitting quietly next to someone, other than whether they understand social norms relating to silence.</span></div>
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I'd like to say I instantly came up with something brilliant, but as Mark Twain said, sometimes a good off-the-cuff remark takes weeks to think of. After a couple of hours of pondering, I hit on the idea of going for a walk around <a href=" Physic Garden</a>, a sort of hidden botanical garden down by the river, that not many people know about. I found out about it from a Tim Powers book about time travel, apothecaries and wizards on stilts. </div>
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The real garden has a distinct lack of stilt-magi, but it is beautiful, especially on a pleasant summer's evening. It also has the advantage of being near loads of lovely West London pubs - so if things went well, we could repair to one of those for booze and more chat. After a week or so of trying, I managed to arrange a date with a lovely psychiatrist. Now, I'm sure some of you are saying "Thank god, he's finally getting help", but this was an attempt at a romantic meeting, rather than a therapeutic one.</div>
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